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I've decided that this opening is extraneous to the story. I'm going to rewrite it, starting with the letter from BuSnuff.", "writing": "Bleep bleep. Bleep bleep. Austin's cellphone rang. It was Layton, his lawyer. \"Hello.\"\n\"Hi. There's a big problem at Harborview Cove. You'd better turn on the TV news and then call your lawyer.\"\nAustin turned on the news. What a mess! Building Two One at Harborview had collapsed, and it had taken part of building One down with it. \nThank goodness it was late morning: most people are at work, shopping, whatever. But if we get by with less than two dozen dead it'll be a miracle.\n\"This looks really bad, for your business and for you personally. You can expect to have newsies at your door within a few minutes. Don't say anything to anybody. Not even 'No comment.' Not to your friends, not your girlfriend, not your parents. Borrow a car from somebody you trust and drive straight to my office. Get here as fast as you can without getting a ticket. Park on the first level, space 27. It's reserved for my partner, but he's out of town. Janelle will meet you there and show you to a conference room. I'll see you as soon as my 1:30 client leaves.\"\nAustin peeked out his office window. Nobody there yet. \"Hey, Grace, can I borrow your car for the day?\" \n\"Umm… sure.\" She reached into her purse and handed him a fob.\nAustin took the stairs to the parking level. He got in Grace's Accord, backed out, and drove carefully out to the street. He saw a couple of unfamiliar cars in the street, but he ignored them and they didn't follow him. Whew!\nHe got to Layton's building and parked in space 27. Janelle knocked on the passenger-side window 2 minutes later. She led him into the building, then used a keycard to summon an express elevator.\n\"This is a mess,\" she said as soon as the door was closed. \"Nine people were killed when that building collapsed, and another ten were taken to the hospital.\"\n\"Only nine dead…? When I saw it on the news I guessed it would be more like two dozen.\"\n\"Shhh! Don't talk about it to me - or anybody except Layton.\"\n\"Right.\" Austin drew his thumb and forefinger across his mouth. Lips zipped.\nJanelle led him to a small conference room. \"Would you like some coffee? Soda? Hot cocoa? Layton says no alcohol. Not today, not for the next week, at least.\"\n\"Pepsi if you've got it.\"\n\"Sure.\" Janelle walked out and came back a minute later with a Pepsi, a glass, a bowl of crushed ice and a spoon. She opened a cabinet and got out a remote. \"Here. Watch TV if you like. But Layton says no news shows. They'll just depress you.\"\nLayton walked in about fifteen minutes later. \"This is a right mess,\" he said as he sat down facing Austin.\n\"No kidding. I've got ten million dollars in E&O insurance, and I suspect that this is going to cost twice that -- or more. I'm probably facing bankruptcy.\"\n\"Worse than that: the Evening News had an interview with the DA. He accused you of cutting corners on safety. He's making noises about Negligent Manslaughter. That's five to twenty-five years.\"\n\"What? I've been careful about buildings ever since that sinkhole in San Antonio. And I was extra-careful with Harborview Cove, because there were so many units in those buildings. I hired a structural engineer, then I read his recommendations and added more strength in a few places. I never went for less strength or cheaper materials than he specified. Never.\"\n\"His term ends in June, and he plans to run for re-election. Putting you in prison would be a big boost to his campaign.\" Layton paused. \"I'm going to give you a place to hide while the furor dies down.\" He handed Austin a cellphone. \"If you need to talk to me for any reason, use this phone and only this phone. Speed dial #1.\"\n\"Got it.\"\n\"And don't call anybody else for any reason. If you get an incoming call and it's not from me, don't even push \"reject\". Just ignore it.\"\n===\nFour days later\n\"Hey, Austin. Everything okay?\"\n\"Pretty much, except for the food. This place is well-stocked, but I'm getting bored with frozen Chinese food, burritos, and Birdseye veggies.\"\n\"I'll come by this evening and drop off a few packages of steak, a Spencer Roast, and some fresh veggies. Also a couple of cash cards and a list of nearby restaurants that will deliver. Pay by card only and wait five minutes after the doorbell rings before you open the door and bring it in.\"\n\"Umm… Thanks.\"\n\"Don't thank me. It'll be on your bill.\"\n\"Yeah. For as long as I have money.\"\n\"Don't worry about that. I've been talking to your insurance agent. She says the \"catastrophic coverage\" clause takes effect. Your coverage limit is increased by 50%.\"\n\"Wow! Good news, of a sort. I'll be solvent, at least. Maybe even enough to start on another building.\"\n\"Yeah.\"\n\"And I'll make it even stronger.\"\nLayton nodded. \"Sounds like a good idea.\"\n===\nLayton called again a few days later.\n\"The DA is still talking about Negligent Manslaughter, but the news anchors are visibly dubious. I think he'll be looking for a way to weasel out in a week or two.\"\n===\nThree weeks later\n\"I have good news and bad news.\"\n\"What now?\"\n\"The DA has stopped talking about criminal charges. Now he's pushing for a civil penalty that could eat up a quarter of your already-diminished net worth.\"\n\"That's the good news? Then what's the bad news?\"\n\"I've been sending a second year associate to pick up your mail every weekday. Mostly letters threatening lawsuits from relatives of the people who died. None from lawyers, which means that their claims are pretty weak. But today's mail is a thick envelope from BuSnuff, with 'Confidential' on the front and 'to be opened by addressee only' on the flap.\"\n\"BuSnuff. You mean…\"\n\"Well, you are over 40. Janelle will drop it off on her way home from work.\"\n===\nA few hours later\nKnock knock knock\nAustin waited a full minute, then looked through the peephole. Then he opened the door. \n\"Hi, Janelle. Good to see you. Or would be if…\"\n\"Yeah. If.\" I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but here it is.\" She put a thick 9x12 brown kraft envelope on the table.\n\"Well, thanks anyway.\"\n\"I sympathize with you - all you've gone through and now this.\"\n\"Well, stuff happens.\"\n\"I have to admit to being a bit turned on by the news.\"\n\"Who wouldn't be? As long as it's not you - or a close friend or relative.\"\n\"True. There's something exciting about being close to someone who is going to die in a sexy manner.\"\n\"Yeah.\"\nShe handed him a #10 envelope with the logo of Layton's law firm next to the return address in the upper left corner.\n\"Hmmm…?\"\n\"Layton said you should read this after you've read the BuSnuff letter.\"\nAustin opened the thick envelope.\n\n[q]Government of Canada\nBureau of Population\n27½ Langstaff Rd E\nToronto, ON N8C IT3\nMay 19, 2050\nMr. Austin Parker\n1751 Regent St.\nSudbury, ONT P3E4Z6\nDear Mr. Parker:\nYou have been chosen to appear on the Felman Show. Under US Code Title 58, Chapter 7, you are required to submit a list of all persons that you have had sex with, including their current addresses, no later than June 8, 2050. If you do not know the current address for one or more persons on that list, you should provide some other means of contacting those persons. If you do not have a means of contacting one or more partners, notify the Bureau as soon as possible and we will locate them through government records, if possible.\nAfter that, you will be given a date to appear at DDA Studios. You and your sex partners will be given further instructions at that time.\nWe recommend that you also contact your partners by whatever means is most convenient in order to give them time to make final arrangements: body disposal, royalty payments, etc.\nIt is important that you list all previous sex partners, even if they no longer reside in North America. This enables us to demonstrate that there are no favorites - the prime minister is just as likely to be called as someone living in subsidized housing. And in fact Prime Minister Ms Gail Brierly was called to appear on the show in 2036, less than a year after becoming the leader of Parliament.\nSincerely,\n\nRosanne Williams\nSubject Contact Desk[/q]\n\n\"Well, that seems pretty definitive.\"\n\"Yes. Now the other one.\"\nIt was handwritten.\nJanelle seems to have the hots for you, at least partly on account of that BuSnuff letter. I expect that she'll proposition you. Feel free to accept if you are interested. BuSnuff considers \"sexual contact\" to mean either penetration or directly touching the other person's genitals. Rubbing through clothing, etc. does not count.\nYours,\nLayton\nAustin \n\nBuSnuff (Bureau of Snuffing) chooses one man and all the women he's had sex (loosely defined) with. He gets to have sex once with each of them -- anything that he & they did when they were sex partners -- then he snuffs them. Except for one that he saves for last: he can have sex with here several times before he snuffs her. Then the show's executioness snuffs him by the method of his choice.\n\"ba-da-da-bum-bum-bum-bum- BUM-ba-bah (opening bars of the La Marseillaise, from the 1812 Overture finale, by Tchaikovsky)\nSuzanne tapped answer. \"Hi, bro. What's up.\"\n\"Austin got my BuSnuff letter today.\"\n\"Oh. Austin guess that means Austin get roped in too.\"\n\"Not necessarily. According to the letter, Austin only has to list women I've had penetrative sex with. Our little 'experiments' don't count.\"\n\"Austin never could figure out how those bureaucrats do things. Just one more example, Austin guess.\"\n\"Yeah,\" he said. \"Anyway, I'll put your name down if you want to, otherwise you can wait until they get around to you in a few years.\"\n\"Oh, write me in! I've been a fan of \"That Snuff Show\" ever since Hulu started carrying it.\"\n\"Handjobs, interfemoral, titfucking, right?\"\n\"Don't forget the time you fucked my armpit.\"\n\"Oh, right. Thanks, I'll add you to the list and you'll join the rest of us on the Stanley Thornton Stage in a little under a month.\"\n ===\n\"Yeong! Min! Austin had to list you on my form but Austin didn't expect you to come.\"\n\"Well, things aren't so great in Korea. And we really didn't want to miss out on your show. And we'll get to have sex with you again. Maybe you'll pick one of us to go last and have sex five or six times before the end?\"\n\"Yeah, once each. Unless Austin pick one of you for my own ending. Whoever it is, we get a few days for sex, then Austin pick a method and snuff her. After that Austin tell Bentley how Austin want to go and he gets an executioness to do me.\"\n\"Right. And that's why we're here: so we can get in on that action.\"\n\"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad to see you again. And welcome!\"\n==\n(Sustained applause)\n\"Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and others, and thank your for watching That Snuff Show, where people selected by the Bureau of Snuffing get snuffed by whatever method they prefer. After having sex a few times, of course.\n\"Tonight's special guest is Austin Brooke, a building contractor from Omaha. And now, here is the host of That Snuff Show, Phil Bentley.\"\n\"Thank you, Shelby. Let's give Austin a round of applause.\n(sound of sustained applause)\nNow, would you please introduce your snuffees?\nSure. The short blonde is Zoe. We had a hot thing going for about a year, then she got that fantastic job offer in NYC.\"\n\"Yeah. It was a big step up. Plus I'd always wanted to live in New York but hadn't been able to afford it. This job paid enough for me to buy a brownstone in Queens.\" (She gives Austin a long kiss and rubs up against the bulge in his jeans.)\n\"Congratulations, Zoe. Austin hope you'll enjoy your snuffing here.\"\n\"Oh, yeah. Austin and Austin agreed on that last week.\"\n\"So who's next?\"\n\"Jamie. Our relationship, if you can call it that, lasted less than a week.\" \n\"Austin found the man of my dreams over the weekend. He didn't want to share.\"\n{CLARIFY that this was several years ago, and the \"man of her dreams\" left her after a year.}\n\"Austin can understand that.\"\n\"And…?\"\n\"These two Oriental beauties are from Korea. They do Manga, and they were my \"mooses\" when the Army stationed me in Korea for two years.\n\"Mooses?\"\nYeong spoke up. \"It's a corruption of \"musumu,\" which means \"woman\" in Japanese. Simply stated, Austin supported us and lived with us. With all that implies.\" \n\"And this gorgeous ash blonde?\"\n\"Yes, Siena is a beauty. She was my fuck buddy for nearly two years, but then she moved to Silicon Valley to take care of her parents.\"\n\"And your last girl?\" \n\", my sister. We \"played doctor\" starting when Austin was eighteen. Then Austin had an idea - a way we could have fun without the risk of making a child of incest. Austin think 'outercourse' is the technical term.\"\n\"Yeah, Austin get it. And she's going to be your final girl on the show?\"\n\n(pause) Austin, Austin understand that three of your \"guests\" are volunteers?\"\n\"Yes, Phil. Yeong and Min came from Korea to be on your show. And then there's my sis. We never had 'sex' as BuSnuff defines it, just 'fooling around.' But when Austin told Suzanne that I'd been selected, she insisted on being included. \"\n\"Suppose you tell us a little about yourself.\"\n\"Well… Austin got interested in building things at fourteen, when my parents decided to remodel their house. Most of the work was supervised by my cousin Doug from Council Bluffs. He brought the team he was leading to do most of the work, and he brought in people he trusted for stuff like plumbing and electricity that was outside his experience. He showed me how to use a snapline, table and circular saws, and a multi-tool for difficult cutting tasks.\"\n\"Sounds like fun.\"\n\"It was. That's when Austin decided to become a carpenter.\n\"Anything you're especially proud of?”\n\"You know the Tyler building on Macauley?\"\n\"I've seen it. Pretty.\"\n\"Austin helped design the exterior, and my team built the framework.\"\n\"Wow!\"\n\"So… getting to the reason for our show, would you like to introduce your partners?\"\n\"Sure. Here's Zoe. Doesn't she have the most beautiful long black hair you've ever seen?\"\n\"Austin can't dispute that. Any ideas for how you'll snuff her?\"\n\"She asked for a shortdrop hanging.\"\n\"Our audience will like that. And…?\"\n\"A good fucking before Austin spring the trap.\"\n\"I'm sure our audience will like that.\"\n\"So will she. Who's next?\"\n\"Jamie.\" \n\"Hmm… Between you and me, I've seen better-looking girls.\n\"All cats are gray in the dark. She's kind of vanilla -- she wants straight missionary with my hands around her neck.\"\n\"Nothing wrong with that. Austin gather that you're planning to take away all their breaths?\"\n\"Yeah. That's definitely my thing, and they range from not-unwilling to jumping-up-and-down enthusiastic.\"\n\"And third?\"\n\"Yeong & Min.\"\n(whistles) \"Real lookers! Where'd you find them?\"\n\"The Army sent me to Korea for a couple of years. Austin needed what they call a 'moose' and Austin ended up with two -- twins. They had just dropped out of college and were looking for an American to support them until they could 'real' jobs. They do manga now: Yeong sketches the panels, and Min does the inking.\"\n\"And the plan?\"\n\"Both want anal in a spoons position. I'm going to burke Yeong and bag Min\"\n\"Korea doesn't have a Snuffing treaty with the US. How does it come about that they're obeying a US BuSnuff summons?\"\n\"I'll let Min explain that.\"\n\"Go ahead, Miss Min.\"\n\"Just Min. It's true we could have lived a little longer in Korea, but seuneopeugug -- that's Korean for Snuffing Control -- doesn't do things the way your Bureau of Snuffing does. Here in the USA you get a letter telling you to show up and get snuffed by a certain day, right?\"\n\"Well, yeah, except for the ones who get chosen for a snuff-oriented TV show like this one.\"\n\"In Korea, we don't get a sexy TV show,\" Yeong said. \"We get sitcoms, soap operas, game shows, detective shows. Even a few talk shows. But no sex, and especially no snuff. If we'd stayed in Korea, we'd get one or two, at most three more years. Then one day there would be a knock on the door. Two muscle-men. They'd just walk in. One would grab me by the shoulders, the other would give my head a twist. Then they'd do the same to Min. No warning, no sex, no nothing. Just a couple of bodies on the floor. The next time one of the neighbors came over, they'd find us lying there and call the priest. He'd arrange for us to get buried.\"\n\"Yeah, that does sound like a drag.\"\n\"Here we get a say in our snuffing, and we get to have sex one last time. And besides, we really love Austin, even if we can't have him long-term.\"\n\"Well, you certainly seem to know your own minds.\"\n\"Yes, we do. If you don't know what you want and you try to make a living as a 'moose', you're going to have a miserable time of it. But if you know what you want, you can usually arrange things so your needs get satisfied too.\"\n\"Good for you!\"\nHe turned to Austin \"And … who's that blonde with the wow! figure?\"\nThat's Siena. She's a pathologist at Heartstone Community Hospital.\"\n\"How did you meet her?\"\nMention that sis is divorced and why. Also a few compliments on her looks and desirability. Also have her check with relatives on dying young.\n\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Bleep bleep. Bleep bleep. Austin's cellphone rang. It was Layton, his lawyer. "Hello."
"Hi. There's a big problem at Harborview Cove. You'd better turn on the TV news and then call your lawyer."
Austin turned on the news. What a mess! Building Two One at Harborview had collapsed, and it had taken part of building One down with it.
Thank goodness it was late morning: most people are at work, shopping, whatever. But if we get by with less than two dozen dead it'll be a miracle.
"This looks really bad, for your business and for you personally. You can expect to have newsies at your door within a few minutes. Don't say anything to anybody. Not even 'No comment.'  Not to your friends, not your girlfriend, not your parents. Borrow a car from somebody you trust and drive straight to my office. Get here as fast as you can without getting a ticket. Park on the first level, space 27. It's reserved for my partner, but he's out of town. Janelle will meet you there and show you to a conference room. I'll see you as soon as my 1:30 client leaves."
Austin peeked out his office window. Nobody there yet. "Hey, Grace, can I borrow your car for the day?"
"Umm… sure." She reached into her purse and handed him a fob.
Austin took the stairs to the parking level. He got in Grace's Accord, backed out, and drove carefully out to the street. He saw a couple of unfamiliar cars in the street, but he ignored them and they didn't follow him. Whew!
He got to Layton's building and parked in space 27. Janelle knocked on the passenger-side window 2 minutes later. She led him into the building, then used a keycard to summon an express elevator.
"This is a mess," she said as soon as the door was closed. "Nine people were killed when that building collapsed, and another ten were taken to the hospital."
"Only nine dead…? When I saw it on the news I guessed it would be more like two dozen."
"Shhh! Don't talk about it to me - or anybody except Layton."
"Right." Austin drew his thumb and forefinger across his mouth. Lips zipped.
Janelle led him to a small conference room. "Would you like some coffee? Soda? Hot cocoa? Layton says no alcohol. Not today, not for the next week, at least."
"Pepsi if you've got it."
"Sure." Janelle walked out and came back a minute later with a Pepsi, a glass, a bowl of crushed ice and a spoon.  She opened a cabinet and got out  a remote. "Here. Watch TV if you like. But Layton says no news shows. They'll just depress you."
Layton walked in about fifteen minutes later. "This is a right mess," he said as he sat down facing Austin.
"No kidding. I've got ten million dollars in E&O  insurance, and I suspect that this is going to cost twice that -- or more. I'm probably facing bankruptcy."
"Worse than that: the Evening News had an interview with the DA. He accused you of cutting corners on safety. He's making noises about Negligent Manslaughter. That's five to twenty-five years."
"What? I've been careful about buildings ever since that sinkhole in San Antonio. And I was extra-careful with Harborview Cove, because there were so many units in those buildings. I hired a structural engineer, then I read his recommendations and added more strength in a few places. I never went for less strength or cheaper materials than he specified. Never."
"His term ends in June, and he plans to run for re-election. Putting you in prison would be a big boost to his campaign." Layton paused. "I'm going to give you a place to hide while the furor dies down." He handed Austin a cellphone. "If you need to talk to me for any reason, use this phone and only this phone. Speed dial #1."
"Got it."
"And don't call anybody else for any reason. If you get an incoming call and it's not from me, don't even push "reject". Just ignore it."
===
Four days later
"Hey, Austin. Everything okay?"
"Pretty much, except for the food. This place is well-stocked, but I'm getting bored with frozen Chinese food, burritos, and Birdseye veggies."
"I'll come by this evening and drop off a few packages of steak, a Spencer Roast, and some fresh veggies. Also a couple of cash cards and a list of nearby restaurants that will deliver. Pay by card only and wait five minutes after the doorbell rings before you open the door and bring it in."
"Umm… Thanks."
"Don't thank me. It'll be on your bill."
"Yeah. For as long as I have money."
"Don't worry about that. I've been talking to your insurance agent. She says the "catastrophic coverage" clause takes effect. Your coverage limit is increased by 50%."
"Wow! Good news, of a sort. I'll be solvent, at least. Maybe even enough to start on another building."
"Yeah."
"And I'll make it even stronger."
Layton nodded. "Sounds like a good idea."
===
Layton called again a few days later.
"The DA is still talking about Negligent Manslaughter, but the news anchors are visibly dubious. I think he'll be looking for a way to weasel out in a week or two."
===
Three weeks later
"I have good news and bad news."
"What now?"
"The DA has stopped talking about criminal charges. Now he's pushing for a civil penalty that could eat up a quarter of your already-diminished net worth."
"That's the good news? Then what's the bad news?"
"I've been sending a second year associate to pick up your mail every weekday. Mostly letters threatening lawsuits from relatives of the people who died. None from lawyers, which means that their claims are pretty weak. But today's mail is a thick envelope from BuSnuff, with 'Confidential' on the front and 'to be opened by addressee only' on the flap."
"BuSnuff. You mean…"
"Well, you are over 40. Janelle will drop it off on her way home from work."
===
A few hours later
Knock knock knock
Austin waited a full minute, then looked through the peephole. Then he opened the door.
"Hi, Janelle. Good to see you. Or would be if…"
"Yeah. If." I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but here it is." She put a thick 9x12 brown kraft envelope on the table.
"Well, thanks anyway."
"I sympathize with you - all you've gone through and now this."
"Well, stuff happens."
"I have to admit to being a bit turned on by the news."
"Who wouldn't be? As long as it's not you - or a close friend or relative."
"True. There's something exciting about being close to someone who is going to die in a sexy manner."
"Yeah."
She handed him a #10 envelope with the logo of Layton's law firm next to the return address in the upper left corner.
"Hmmm…?"
"Layton said you should read this after you've read the BuSnuff letter."
Austin opened the thick envelope.

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tGovernment of Canada
Bureau of Population
27½ Langstaff Rd E
Toronto, ON N8C IT3
May 19, 2050
Mr. Austin Parker
1751 Regent St.
Sudbury, ONT P3E4Z6
Dear Mr. Parker:
You have been chosen to appear on the Felman Show. Under US Code Title 58, Chapter 7, you are required to submit a list of all persons that you have had sex with, including their current addresses, no later than June 8, 2050.  If you do not know the current address for one or more persons on that list, you should provide some other means of contacting those persons. If you do not have a means of contacting one or more partners, notify the Bureau as soon as possible and we will locate them through government records, if possible.
After that, you will be given a date to appear at DDA Studios. You and your sex partners will be given further instructions at that time.
We recommend that you also contact your partners by whatever means is most convenient in order to give them time to make final arrangements: body disposal, royalty payments, etc.
It is important that you list all previous sex partners, even if they no longer reside in North America. This enables us to demonstrate that there are no favorites - the prime minister is just as likely to be called as someone living in subsidized housing. And in fact Prime Minister Ms Gail Brierly was called to appear on the show in 2036, less than a year after becoming the leader of Parliament.
Sincerely,

Rosanne Williams
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"Well, that seems pretty definitive."
"Yes. Now the other one."
It was handwritten.
Janelle seems to have the hots for you, at least partly on account of that BuSnuff letter. I expect that she'll proposition you. Feel free to accept if you are interested. BuSnuff considers "sexual contact" to mean either penetration or directly touching the other person's genitals. Rubbing through clothing, etc. does not count.
Yours,
Layton
Austin

BuSnuff (Bureau of Snuffing) chooses one man and all the women he's had sex (loosely defined) with. He gets to have sex once with each of them -- anything that he & they did when they were sex partners -- then he snuffs them. Except for one that he saves for last: he can have sex with here several times before he snuffs her. Then the show's executioness snuffs him by the method of his choice.
"ba-da-da-bum-bum-bum-bum- BUM-ba-bah (opening bars of the La Marseillaise, from the 1812 Overture finale, by Tchaikovsky)
Suzanne tapped answer. "Hi, bro. What's up."
"Austin got my BuSnuff letter today."
"Oh. Austin guess that means Austin get roped in too."
"Not necessarily. According to the letter, Austin only has to list women I've had penetrative sex with. Our little 'experiments' don't count."
"Austin never could figure out how those bureaucrats do things. Just one more example, Austin guess."
"Yeah," he said. "Anyway, I'll put your name down if you want to, otherwise you can wait until they get around to you in a few years."
"Oh, write me in! I've been a fan of  "That Snuff Show" ever since Hulu started carrying it."
"Handjobs, interfemoral, titfucking, right?"
"Don't forget the time you fucked my armpit."
"Oh, right. Thanks, I'll add you to the list and you'll join the rest of us on the Stanley Thornton Stage in a little under a month."
 ===
"Yeong! Min! Austin had to list you on my form but Austin didn't expect you to come."
"Well, things aren't so great in Korea. And we really didn't want to miss out on your show. And we'll get to have sex with you again. Maybe you'll pick one of us to go last and have sex five or six times before the end?"
"Yeah, once each. Unless Austin pick one of you for my own ending. Whoever it is, we get a few days for sex, then Austin pick a method and snuff her. After that Austin tell Bentley how Austin want to go and he gets an executioness to do me."
"Right. And that's why we're here: so we can get in on that action."
"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad to see you again. And welcome!"
==
(Sustained applause)
"Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and others, and thank your for watching That Snuff Show, where people selected by the Bureau of Snuffing get snuffed by whatever method they prefer. After having sex a few times, of course.
"Tonight's special guest is Austin Brooke, a building contractor from Omaha. And now, here is the host of That Snuff Show, Phil Bentley."
"Thank you, Shelby. Let's give Austin a round of applause.
(sound of sustained applause)
Now, would you please introduce your snuffees?
Sure. The short blonde is Zoe. We had a hot thing going for about a year, then she got that fantastic job offer in NYC."
"Yeah. It was a big step up. Plus I'd always wanted to live in New York but hadn't been able to afford it. This job paid enough for me to buy a brownstone in Queens." (She gives Austin a long kiss and rubs up against the bulge in his jeans.)
"Congratulations, Zoe. Austin hope you'll enjoy your snuffing here."
"Oh, yeah. Austin and Austin agreed on that last week."
"So who's next?"
"Jamie. Our relationship, if you can call it that, lasted less than a week."
"Austin found the man of my dreams over the weekend. He didn't want to share."
{CLARIFY that this was several years ago, and the "man of her dreams" left her after a year.}
"Austin can understand that."
"And…?"
"These two Oriental beauties are from Korea. They do Manga, and  they were my "mooses" when the Army stationed me in Korea for two years.
"Mooses?"
Yeong spoke up. "It's a corruption of  "musumu," which means "woman" in Japanese. Simply stated, Austin supported us and lived with us. With all that implies."
"And this gorgeous ash blonde?"
"Yes, Siena is a beauty. She was my fuck buddy for nearly two years, but then she moved to Silicon Valley to take care of her parents."
"And your last girl?"
", my sister. We "played doctor" starting when Austin was eighteen. Then Austin had an idea - a way we could have fun without the risk of making a child of incest. Austin think 'outercourse' is the technical term."
"Yeah, Austin get it. And she's going to be your final girl on the show?"

(pause) Austin, Austin understand that three of your "guests" are volunteers?"
"Yes, Phil. Yeong and Min came from Korea to be on your show. And then there's my sis. We never had 'sex' as BuSnuff defines it, just 'fooling around.' But when Austin told Suzanne that I'd been selected, she insisted on being included. "
"Suppose you tell us a little about yourself."
"Well… Austin got interested in building things at fourteen, when my parents decided to remodel their house. Most of the work was supervised by my cousin Doug from Council Bluffs. He brought the team he was leading to do most of the work, and he brought in people he trusted for stuff like plumbing and electricity that was outside his experience. He showed me how to use a snapline, table and circular saws, and a multi-tool for difficult cutting tasks."
"Sounds like fun."
"It was. That's when Austin decided to become a carpenter.
"Anything you're especially proud of?”
"You know the Tyler building on Macauley?"
"I've seen it. Pretty."
"Austin helped design the exterior, and my team built the framework."
"Wow!"
"So… getting to the reason for our show, would you like to introduce your partners?"
"Sure. Here's Zoe. Doesn't she have the most beautiful long black hair you've ever seen?"
"Austin can't dispute that.  Any ideas for how you'll snuff her?"
"She asked for a shortdrop hanging."
"Our audience will like that. And…?"
"A good fucking before Austin spring the trap."
"I'm sure our audience will like that."
"So will she. Who's next?"
"Jamie."
"Hmm… Between you and me, I've seen better-looking girls.
"All cats are gray in the dark. She's kind of vanilla -- she wants straight missionary with my hands around her neck."
"Nothing wrong with that. Austin gather that you're planning to take away all their breaths?"
"Yeah. That's definitely my thing, and they range from not-unwilling to jumping-up-and-down enthusiastic."
"And third?"
"Yeong & Min."
(whistles) "Real lookers! Where'd you find them?"
"The Army sent me to Korea for a couple of years. Austin needed what they call a 'moose' and Austin ended up with two -- twins. They had just dropped out of college and were looking for an American to support them until they could 'real' jobs. They do manga now: Yeong sketches the panels, and Min does the inking."
"And the plan?"
"Both want anal in a spoons position. I'm going to burke Yeong and bag Min"
"Korea doesn't have a Snuffing treaty with the US. How does it come about that they're obeying a US BuSnuff summons?"
"I'll let Min explain that."
"Go ahead, Miss Min."
"Just Min. It's true we could have lived a little longer in Korea, but seuneopeugug -- that's Korean for Snuffing Control -- doesn't do things the way your Bureau of Snuffing does. Here in the USA you get a letter telling you to show up  and get snuffed by a certain day, right?"
"Well, yeah, except for the ones who get chosen for a snuff-oriented TV show like this one."
"In Korea, we don't get a sexy TV show," Yeong said. "We get sitcoms, soap operas, game shows, detective shows. Even a few talk shows. But no sex, and especially no snuff. If we'd stayed in Korea, we'd get one or two, at most three more years. Then one day there would be a knock on the door. Two muscle-men. They'd just walk in. One would grab me by the shoulders, the other would give my head a twist. Then they'd do the same to Min. No warning, no sex, no nothing. Just a couple of bodies on the floor. The next time one of the neighbors came over, they'd find us lying there and call the priest. He'd arrange for us to get buried."
"Yeah, that does sound like a drag."
"Here we get a say in our snuffing, and we get to have sex one last time. And besides, we really love Austin, even if we can't have him long-term."
"Well, you certainly seem to know your own minds."
"Yes, we do. If you don't know what you want  and you try to make a living as a 'moose', you're going to have a miserable time of it. But if you know what you want, you can usually arrange things so your needs get satisfied too."
"Good for you!"
He turned to Austin "And … who's that blonde with the wow! figure?"
That's Siena. She's a pathologist at Heartstone Community Hospital."
"How did you meet her?"
Mention that sis is divorced and why. Also a few compliments on her looks and desirability. Also have her check with relatives on dying young.


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