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  "description": "Originally submitted to DeviantArt on December 10, 2017.  DeviantArt description below:\n\n[q]WARNING:  This story contains violence, blood and gore, strong language, and dealing with trauma.\n\n>>NOTE:  This story contains minor spoilers for the Dreamkeepers Graphic Novel Saga.  It is recommended that you at least read up to the latest publicly released page of the GNS before reading this story.\n\nPremise:  Igrath is nearly killed on a mission, waking up three days later, still recovering from his injuries.  He quickly learns that someone that he cares about is responsible for saving his life.  He also learns that there was a terrible cost for his life...  This story takes place sometime after Volume 4.\n\nThis is a request for :iconreptilian-angel: Reptilian-Angel .  The criteria given were \"nothing fancy, just maybe a cute one shot featuring Igrath, Lilith and Namah, preferably something in between angst and family if you can.\"  I feel that I likely deviated from that while also going a bit overboard.  Sorry... Hopefully you still like it, though!\n\nFor this story, I made the dubious decision to make things hard on myself by writing almost entirely from Igrath's point of view, a character that, in hind sight, is not one that I have much insight into.  Therefore I apologize in advance if I butchered his character.\n\nAny and all constructive criticism is welcome.  Hell, any criticism is welcome.  I mean it--I really need the feedback.  A view on the counter means very little; it could mean that someone read the entire submission and merely decided not to comment, or it could mean that they read only the first few lines, gave it up as a bad job, and moved on.  So, please, if you can, say something, anything, even if its to insult me on improper grammar or mishandling of other people's characters.\n\nNotes on aspects of the story:\n\n>It is never directly stated that Igrath was ever a shock trooper or a police officer before becoming Captain of the City Guard.  However, in the Explore section of the Dreamkeepers website, under History, it is specifically stated that Igrath is a veteran of the Toll Wars, in  which the CCA sent exclusively shock troopers, so the implication is that he was one.  In addition, according to information about shock troopers in the pdf version of Volume 2, troopers are specifically recruited from the regular police forces.  Therefore, it is safe to assume that after ending his career as a Fallguard player, Igrath became a police officer, then a shock trooper, then Captain of the City Guard.\n\n>The whole police story is entirely my own creation; it is completely non-canon.\n\n>I make an assumption about the mechanics of Lilith's Power, specifically that she can make an organic target fall apart when she drains it of life energy.  The closest canon example is in Volume 2, where Big Red's/the Tongue Beast's abdomen and internal organs fall out after Lilith's Power awakens and drains the Nightmare's life force after it swallows her whole.  Yet when she drained life from Bast in Volume 4, he simply stopped breathing--no obvious physical signs were present.  Perhaps her Power affects Nightmares differently or something about Big Red's physical makeup contributed to its gory demise.  For the purposes of this story, I instead assume that when her Power is used to drain life energy at a high intensity and speed, the molecular cohesion of the target breaks down and begins to fall apart.  Makes things more interesting, in my opinion.\n\n>I make certain assumptions about the personalities of the characters involved, especially regarding Igrath's attitude toward killing.  There is very little in the canon material to support the version of Igrath I present.  It's not that my version goes against what canon is available, but I make a lot of assumptions in the creation of that version.\n\nI submitted this one as a pdf instead of inputting it through stash like I normally do--this must be my biggest story yet as I apparently exceeded the 64kb limit on both Deviatnart's built-in text editor and stashwriter.  The preview image is just a snapshot of the first lines of the story, which is a poor replacement for the neat scrolling preview on direct text submissions, but pdf submissions apparently require some kind of preview image in order to be submitted.  Weird requirement.\n\nDISCLAIMER:  The Dreamkeepers universe is a copyright of Dave & Liz Lillie.  I do not own the characters, the setting, or any other aspect of this universe; I only own the story concept presented in this piece.  In addition, any similarities to other fanfiction, such as the theme or the design of Powers featured in this piece, are completely coincidental and unintended.\n[/q]\n\nStory Note:  The person who requested this story, while happy with the result, pointed out two \"errors\" in the piece.  First, she believed that it would be highly unlikely that Lilith would swear, even in such a dramatic context.  I agreed with her; I now believe that, at most, Lilith would venture into the territory of \"damn\" and \"hell\" under such stressful circumstances, but never to the extent of \"fuck.\"  Second, Fae's eyes are not necessarily blue.  However, at the time of writing, I had trouble finding the correct word to properly describe Fae's eye color so I just left it at \"blue.\"  I did not fix these \"mistakes\" in the original DeviantArt submission and decided to leave them in this one as well.\n\nSubmission Note:  this one was [i]hell[/i] to submit, due to Inkbunny not importing over italics, paragraph centering, and Spanish punctuation, forcing me to go through the whole document and manually insert the necessary BBCode.  Is there an easier way to submit stories without this hassle?\n\nDreamkeepers is owned by @Dreamkeepers.",
  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Originally submitted to DeviantArt on December 10, 2017.&nbsp;&nbsp;DeviantArt description below:<br /><br />\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class='bbcode_quote'>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<table cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0'>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<tr>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td class='bbcode_quote_symbol' rowspan='2'>&quot;</td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td class='bbcode_quote_quote'>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tWARNING:&nbsp;&nbsp;This story contains violence, blood and gore, strong language, and dealing with trauma.<br /><br />&gt;&gt;NOTE:&nbsp;&nbsp;This story contains minor spoilers for the Dreamkeepers Graphic Novel Saga.&nbsp;&nbsp;It is recommended that you at least read up to the latest publicly released page of the GNS before reading this story.<br /><br />Premise:&nbsp;&nbsp;Igrath is nearly killed on a mission, waking up three days later, still recovering from his injuries.&nbsp;&nbsp;He quickly learns that someone that he cares about is responsible for saving his life.&nbsp;&nbsp;He also learns that there was a terrible cost for his life...&nbsp;&nbsp;This story takes place sometime after Volume 4.<br /><br />This is a request for :iconreptilian-angel: Reptilian-Angel .&nbsp;&nbsp;The criteria given were &quot;nothing fancy, just maybe a cute one shot featuring Igrath, Lilith and Namah, preferably something in between angst and family if you can.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp;I feel that I likely deviated from that while also going a bit overboard.&nbsp;&nbsp;Sorry... Hopefully you still like it, though!<br /><br />For this story, I made the dubious decision to make things hard on myself by writing almost entirely from Igrath&#039;s point of view, a character that, in hind sight, is not one that I have much insight into.&nbsp;&nbsp;Therefore I apologize in advance if I butchered his character.<br /><br />Any and all constructive criticism is welcome.&nbsp;&nbsp;Hell, any criticism is welcome.&nbsp;&nbsp;I mean it--I really need the feedback.&nbsp;&nbsp;A view on the counter means very little; it could mean that someone read the entire submission and merely decided not to comment, or it could mean that they read only the first few lines, gave it up as a bad job, and moved on.&nbsp;&nbsp;So, please, if you can, say something, anything, even if its to insult me on improper grammar or mishandling of other people&#039;s characters.<br /><br />Notes on aspects of the story:<br /><br />&gt;It is never directly stated that Igrath was ever a shock trooper or a police officer before becoming Captain of the City Guard.&nbsp;&nbsp;However, in the Explore section of the Dreamkeepers website, under History, it is specifically stated that Igrath is a veteran of the Toll Wars, in&nbsp;&nbsp;which the CCA sent exclusively shock troopers, so the implication is that he was one.&nbsp;&nbsp;In addition, according to information about shock troopers in the pdf version of Volume 2, troopers are specifically recruited from the regular police forces.&nbsp;&nbsp;Therefore, it is safe to assume that after ending his career as a Fallguard player, Igrath became a police officer, then a shock trooper, then Captain of the City Guard.<br /><br />&gt;The whole police story is entirely my own creation; it is completely non-canon.<br /><br />&gt;I make an assumption about the mechanics of Lilith&#039;s Power, specifically that she can make an organic target fall apart when she drains it of life energy.&nbsp;&nbsp;The closest canon example is in Volume 2, where Big Red&#039;s/the Tongue Beast&#039;s abdomen and internal organs fall out after Lilith&#039;s Power awakens and drains the Nightmare&#039;s life force after it swallows her whole.&nbsp;&nbsp;Yet when she drained life from Bast in Volume 4, he simply stopped breathing--no obvious physical signs were present.&nbsp;&nbsp;Perhaps her Power affects Nightmares differently or something about Big Red&#039;s physical makeup contributed to its gory demise.&nbsp;&nbsp;For the purposes of this story, I instead assume that when her Power is used to drain life energy at a high intensity and speed, the molecular cohesion of the target breaks down and begins to fall apart.&nbsp;&nbsp;Makes things more interesting, in my opinion.<br /><br />&gt;I make certain assumptions about the personalities of the characters involved, especially regarding Igrath&#039;s attitude toward killing.&nbsp;&nbsp;There is very little in the canon material to support the version of Igrath I present.&nbsp;&nbsp;It&#039;s not that my version goes against what canon is available, but I make a lot of assumptions in the creation of that version.<br /><br />I submitted this one as a pdf instead of inputting it through stash like I normally do--this must be my biggest story yet as I apparently exceeded the 64kb limit on both Deviatnart&#039;s built-in text editor and stashwriter.&nbsp;&nbsp;The preview image is just a snapshot of the first lines of the story, which is a poor replacement for the neat scrolling preview on direct text submissions, but pdf submissions apparently require some kind of preview image in order to be submitted.&nbsp;&nbsp;Weird requirement.<br /><br />DISCLAIMER:&nbsp;&nbsp;The Dreamkeepers universe is a copyright of Dave &amp; Liz Lillie.&nbsp;&nbsp;I do not own the characters, the setting, or any other aspect of this universe; I only own the story concept presented in this piece.&nbsp;&nbsp;In addition, any similarities to other fanfiction, such as the theme or the design of Powers featured in this piece, are completely coincidental and unintended.<br />\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t</td>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t</tr>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t</table>\n\t\t\t\t\t</div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<br /><br />Story Note:&nbsp;&nbsp;The person who requested this story, while happy with the result, pointed out two &quot;errors&quot; in the piece.&nbsp;&nbsp;First, she believed that it would be highly unlikely that Lilith would swear, even in such a dramatic context.&nbsp;&nbsp;I agreed with her; I now believe that, at most, Lilith would venture into the territory of &quot;damn&quot; and &quot;hell&quot; under such stressful circumstances, but never to the extent of &quot;fuck.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp;Second, Fae&#039;s eyes are not necessarily blue.&nbsp;&nbsp;However, at the time of writing, I had trouble finding the correct word to properly describe Fae&#039;s eye color so I just left it at &quot;blue.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp;I did not fix these &quot;mistakes&quot; in the original DeviantArt submission and decided to leave them in this one as well.<br /><br />Submission Note:&nbsp;&nbsp;this one was <em>hell</em> to submit, due to Inkbunny not importing over italics, paragraph centering, and Spanish punctuation, forcing me to go through the whole document and manually insert the necessary BBCode.&nbsp;&nbsp;Is there an easier way to submit stories without this hassle?<br /><br />Dreamkeepers is owned by \r\n\t\t\t\t\t<table style='display: inline-block; vertical-align:bottom;'>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<tr>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td style='vertical-align: middle; border: none;'>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div style='width: 50px; height: 50px; position: relative; margin: 0px auto;'>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a style='position: relative; border: 0px;' href='https://inkbunny.net/Dreamkeepers'><img class='shadowedimage' style='border: 0px;' src='https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/small/7/7654_Dreamkeepers_profilepic1_copy.gif' width='50' height='50' alt='Dreamkeepers' title='Dreamkeepers' /></a>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t</div>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t</td>\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<td style='vertical-align: bottom; 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  "writing": "“Doubt”\n\nHe staggered backwards, each impact containing the force of a sledgehammer compacted into a tiny seed meticulously designed to pierce flesh, shatter bone, and pulverize life-giving organs, to utterly destroy the body and send its consciousness to the void.\n\nIgrath quietly thanked the Spirits for his resilience.\n\nThe metal projectiles failed in their duty, managing only to flatten and bounce off his bare chest, as if they had driven into a solid wall of steel.  He threw up his thick, muscular arms across his face, and felt numerous rounds glance off his skin.  Yet there also several, weaker impacts, like little pieces of broken metal...\n\nSomething was wrong.\n\nThere had been far too many bullets, far too fast, especially for a Shock Rifle.  Those unusual impacts were reminiscent of spent springer casings.  And how could he mistake that subtle mechanical whirring for anything but a trio of internally rotating barrels?\n\nHow could the enemy have a Mark III?\n\nAll units were accounted for; none had ever left Troika hands…\n\nUnless those hands were dead.\n\n[i]Spirits, please don’t let it be true.[/i]\n\nSuddenly the barrage halted, leaving a half-second of silence in its wake before being interrupted by a subtle [i]click [/i]heralding the ejection of a spent magazine.\n\n[i]Now.[/i]\n\nDigging his gigantic feet into the soft ground, he launched himself forward in vengeful rage, clawed hands extended and prepared to tear apart his assailant.\n\n[i]Ker-chak.[/i]\n\nIt was a disturbingly familiar sound, unmistakable.\n\nIt denoted a fresh magazine being expertly inserted into the receiver of a Mark III.\n\nJudging by the abruptness and deafening volume of the first shot, he was but a few feet from the gunman.\n\nThree rounds accompanied by their spent casings threw one of his shoulders back, but it wouldn't be enough to slow him down.  His momentum would easily carry him the last few feet, and then - \n\n[i]Vshhh.[/i]\n\nThat one came from right above him.\n\nHe barely had enough time to comprehend the meaning of that noise before the fourth bullet carved a tunnel through his breast and lodged itself in his left lung.\n\nA strangled gurgle escaped him as he fell to his knee; blood swelled from within and spurted upwards out of his mouth like an obscene fountain.\n\nThe storm of metal continued, unabated; pointed slugs penetrating his thick hide, lodging in muscle and deflecting off bone to ricochet throughout his body, dancing a bloody ballet across his innards; the jagged edges of springer shells sliced deep grooves into his flesh, painting crimson tattoos across his hide; thin, sharp springs threaded themselves through his skin, adorning him like tinsel on All Spirit's Eve.\n\nThe assault finally stopped, though it was not his ears that told him so - all sound had receded, leaving him in an inky black devoid of all sensation but pain.  Instead, it was the absence of fresh metal violating his body that indicated that the weapon had once again ran out of ammo.\n\nHe could imagine the [i]click[/i] followed by the [i]ker-chak[/i] as the clip was replaced, an evil grin upon the enemy's face as he (or she?) slowly swaps magazines, taking their sweet, cruel time to savor every moment of an accomplishment that they will surely boast about to every Dark Dreamkeeper and Nightmare accomplice of theirs - that they had single-handedly killed the great Troika commander, Igrath Winters.\n\nNot exactly how he'd imagined going out.\n\nHe felt warm blood stream down from his mouth in thick sticky ropes to join the rivers flowing through his fur from the multitude of holes and gashes that decorated his chest and abdomen.  His arms hung limply at his sides, similarly torn and draped in their own little waterfalls of scarlet.\n\nAll he could hear was his own ragged breathing, each spasm of his lungs sending fresh waves of pain as he slowly drowned; and his heart, its rapid, irregular beats waning in tempo as the damaged organ grew weary of its toil.\n\n[i]Ba-thump.\n\nBa - thump...\n\nBaaa.... thump...[/i]\n\nHis body, exhausted beneath the burden of unbearable pain, was finally giving up.\n\nTears ran from his ruined eyes and down his weathered face, as regrets flashed before his closed lids.\n\nTwo hazy forms - one green, one pink - attempted to resolve themselves, but he had little to go on beyond what he heard and what he could feel in the few times he had held them.  Height, general shape, the color of their eyes...\n\nBut what did their smiles look like?\n\nDamnit all - nothing he could imagine would compare to the real thing, denied the simple pleasure of his niece's smiling faces by that cursed day...\n\nNo - he had[i] seen[/i] them.\n\nHe conjured up their voices, the times he heard their laughter, heard those smiles.\n\nA delicate hand laid itself upon the shoulder of the pink figure, leading up a slender arm decorated with feathers of blue and white, to a pair of beautiful blue eyes framed by magnificent wings.\n\n[i]Fae...[/i]\n\nThe dull ache in his heart grew, overpowering the pain of his wounds and causing the dying muscle to skip a beat.\n\n[i]Ba - \n\n...t-thump...[/i]\n\nAnother streak of blue blossomed into existence, this one laying itself upon the shoulders of the green mirage, coalescing into another slender woman, similar yet with much fewer feathers and a feline visage rather than one with a beak.\n\nThey all stood there, smiling at him, their voices ringing from all around.\n\nThere were no words, just the sounds of gentle, welcoming laughter.\n\n[i]My family.\n\nI'm so sorry.[/i]\n\nThe pain was gone, all sensation of the outside world wiped away.\n\nThey reached out for him...\n\n[i]Ba...[/i]\n\nWith his remaining strength, he reached out, too.\n\n[i]...........thump...\n\nTake me home.\n\nI'm ready.[/i]\n\nHe expected the end.\n\nAt the very least, he expected to hear the final gunshot that would end his life.\n\nInstead, he heard screams.\n\nThe most horrible cries of agony that he had ever heard.\n\n[i]Ba-ba-thump!?[/i]\n\nHis arm dropped to the ground, steadying himself as awareness returned with a cruel jolt, bringing forth every sound, every touch, and every ounce of skull-splitting pain.\n\nHe vomited upon the ground; by the coppery taste, he knew it was mostly blood.\n\nEven when his convulsions ended, the screams continued.\n\nThey were right in front of him.\n\nA soft, wet [i]plop[/i] sounded from the ground, less than a foot away from his face, like a slab of freshly cut meat tossed onto a butcher's table.\n\nHe didn't understand.\n\nWhere was the last gunshot?  Where was the end?  Why was he still blind?  Did he just skip all that and went straight to some horrible afterlife?\n\nWas this hell?\n\nAnother [i]plop[/i], this time a little further away.\n\nAs his senses regained their focus, the screams began to form words.\n[i]\n``Nononono, p-please, stoppitpleaseSpiritspleasestoppit!!!''[/i]\n\nHe didn't recognize the voice.\n\nBut it was coming from the same place where...\n\n[i]``PLEASESTOP - I'm sorry! I'M SORRY - pleasestopI'lldoanything, just makeitstop!!''[/i]\n\nThere was a squelching noise, like someone was squeezing a wet cloth, followed by an awful tearing sound.\n\nThe screams briefly rose in pitch before they transitioned to a gurgling cry.\n\n[i]``P-p-p-please, I-I-I'm s-s-sorry... d-d-don't...''[/i]\n\nIt was a man begging for his life he realized as his mind slowly returned to the numb haze he was roused from.\n\n``I-I-I... d-don't... w-w-want... t-to d-die...''\n\nThe voice faded out.\n\nSomething fell next to his head with a sound not unlike that of a rotten piece of fruit splattering against the ground.\n\nSome of it splashed upon his face, warm and wet with the consistency of oatmeal.\n\nAs the world once again faded away, the last sound he heard were the gentle [i]paps [/i]of small, delicate feet running towards him.\n\n[center]******[/center]\n\nThe burly man grunted behind his tusks as his muscles bulged and strained against the tackle.\n\nGrinning, Igrath shifted his weight and redistributed his strength to his opponent's other knee, which the man had foolishly placed in a vulnerable, awkward angle.\n\nUnable to bear the sudden change in force, the tusked man fell to his knees, giving Igrath the opportunity to gently shove him off the edge into the left-hand trench.\n\nThe crowd roared its approval.\n\nNot wasting time, he dug in his gigantic feet into the dirt and launched himself forward, charging toward the goal.\n\nThe other team was tricked into overcommitting to the other lanes, leaving the center poorly defended.  They thought that one player would be enough to hold it.  It wasn't an unreasonable assumption - that man was their very best.\n\nUnfortunately for them, they were up against Igrath Winters, Champion Fallguard player of Norvondire!\n\nAdrenaline surged through every vessel, nerves on fire, his whole body practically vibrating in pure exhilaration.\n\nHis eyes lasered in on the goal-markers, barely noticing the opposing players in his periphery, scrambling through the trenches in a futile attempt to intercept him.\n\nThis was the big one, the last goal - the game was [i]his.[/i]\n\nA swirling shadow of liquid evil spurted out of the dirt just before the goal, swiftly resolving itself into a darkly familiar figure.\n\nHe sprinted forward, roaring at the shadow in rage at its interference, prepared to smash it into bits on his way to glory.\n\nSuddenly there was a glint of silver and his view toppled sideways, falling into the sludge of the right-hand trench with a splash.\n\nHe tried to cry out, but all he produced was a stream of blood, a pitiful twin to the waterfall gushing from his slit throat.\n\nThere were faces with him in the mud.\n\nFour pairs of eyes stared into his - one green, two purple, one blue.\n\nEach was surrounded by expressions of helpless terror, their throats torn wide, their life flowing freely into the muck.\n\nHe tried to scream, but not even a bloody gurgle escaped.\n\nThe world became mute and blind, and darkness swallowed their faces.\n\nOut of the oily black, in an unnatural nightmarish echo of their final moments, his family began to scream.\n\n[center]*******[/center]\n\nAs if the Spirits were sorry for his torment, consciousness came to him slowly, gently delivering him to the world of the living with careful baby steps.\n\nFirst was a sensation of warmth, followed by the heavenly touch of soft sheets caressing his supine form, and the firm support of a fluffy pillow beneath his head.\n\nThe pain came next, but it was mercifully dulled, making itself known through only a mild ache in his chest, abdomen, and arms.  However, sluggish as his mind was, he noticed that the pain did not properly represent that of bullet wounds.  He detected numerous stitches, but they were far too wide to be entry holes.\n\nThey must have been surgical incisions.  Due to his muscular bulk and thick hide, which normally were a great asset, none of the projectiles pierced all the way through; every single round had firmly lodged themselves inside his body.  Naturally, they had to be removed.\n\nBut, that does not explain the absence of stitching for his various other injuries, the slashes and piercings made by the spent springer casings.  In fact, he could not detect any of those wounds at all.  He wasn't numb - they were simply gone.\n\nMultiple bandages wrapped across his figure, securing the dressings that protected the closed wounds.  Other than that, his only garment was a fresh pair of boxers (thank the Spirits he wasn't naked).\n\nHe switched focus to his ears, straining to map his surroundings by sound.\n\nThere was the tinkling of metal instruments and glass bottles accompanied by the barely noticeable sliding of well-oiled wheels over tiled floor.  Further off he could detect the muffled reverberations of familiar voices engaged in casual conversation.\n\nUnless he was still dreaming, he concluded that he was in the infirmary, recovering from surgery after receiving nearly a full clip of Mark III springer rounds at close range with his Power out.\n\nAs unlikely as it was, there was no other possible conclusion.\n\nExcept perhaps that he was still in hell.\n\nBah, this was not the time for Igrath Winters to become a defeatist; thank the Spirits and accept your good fortune, you old bird.\n\nHe figured it was about time to announce his return.\n\nThe sound of wheels had died while the jostling of bottles increased in decibel.  There were no other nearby noises, indicating that there was only one other person in the room and the use of a medical cart suggested that they were not a patient.\n\nRunning through the small list of likely candidates, Igrath settled on saying something suitably manly and suave in an off-hand manner.\n\nHe opened his beak, but instead of a badass quip he produced a strangled groan as he threw up a weary hand to his side, the dull ache in his side unexpectedly rocketing upwards in intensity.\n\n[i]Ow.[/i]\n\nA gasp - female - accompanied the [i]tiks[/i] and [i]taks[/i] of a bottle being juggled in startled hands, ending in a single [i]clink[/i] as it was carelessly returned to the cart.\n\nBefore he could regain his composure, something light and lithe slammed into his throbbing side with surprising force, driving what little air he had out of his abused lungs.\n\n[i]``¡Gracias a los Espiritus!''[/i]\n\nDespite the pain, he couldn't help but grin down at Digo.  After all these years, he was probably the only Dreamkeeper who could reliably tell her apart from her nearly-identical twin, Indi; it was the subtlest of deviations in pitch that he had picked up during their many (failed) attempts to get into his pants.\n\nJudging from the painful tightness of her embrace, this was more than the usual fussiness he inspired in the twins whenever he so much as scraped a knee - his injuries must have been truly dire.  He once again questioned how he could have possibly survived.\n\nGingerly, so as to neither hurt her nor strain his injured limbs, he wrapped an arm around her and returned the hug.\n\n``Igrath... I'm so... You're...''\n\nHer voice was shaky, but she was not in tears, a good sign.\n\nShe pressed her face into his fur, holding him for several seconds.\n\nWith the pain, it was difficult to think of something to say.  He settled for silence, waiting for her to make the next move.\n\nDigo slowly disentangled herself from his arm and stood by his bed.\n\nFor a moment there was no sound; he patiently waited for her to speak.\n\nA quiet [i]swish[/i] evolved into an abrupt little [i]pap[/i] across his left ear.  He flinched - it was barely a tap, but it still stung.\n\n``You stupid, irresponsible, [i]pendejo!'[/i]'\n\nHe held up his arms, both to placate the fiery woman and to defend himself if need be.\n\n``Digo,'' he croaked, muscling his way past his sore throat, ``calm - ``\n\n``You almost [i]died![/i]'' she shouted.  ``Don't you realize how important you are to me - to us - ``\n\nShe fumbled a bit, losing some of her steam.  He tried to hold back a smirk.\n\n`` - I-I mean the Troika, the cause!  We almost lost our top commander!  Don't you know how much damage that would cause?  We might've never been able to recover!''\n\nHis smirk morphed into a good-natured grin as he finally wrestled control over his voice.\n\n``It's good to hear your voice, Digo.  And thank you for caring.''\n\nShe faltered.\n\n``Um, well, don't you forget it,'' she finished lamely.\n\nHe couldn't help but chuckle.\n\nThe chuckle turned into a gasp as a jolt ran up his spine.\n\nImmediately he felt her small hands on his arm.\n\n``I'm fine, I'm fine!  Just sore - that's all.''\n\nIn the silence, he imagined an incredulous glare on her face.\n\n[i]``Really!''[/i]\n\nCutting things off before she could start fussing over him, he dropped his grin and switched to a serious tone.\n\n``Digo... what happened?''\n\nThere was a brief pause.\n\nShe then sighed and began to explain.\n\n``You were ambushed, a mixture of Sandmen, a few greater Nightmares, and some Dark DKs.  According to Bobby, a certain someone's quick and intelligent military direction turned the tables on the putas.''\n\nHe remembered his ears tingling, sensing something oily sliding over grass.\n\n``Was anyone - ?''\n\n[i]``No, no![/i]  Everybody's fine!  No casualties, nada.''\n\nHis brow furrowed.\n\n``But I heard screams.''\n\n``I didn't say there weren't any injuries.  Bast got stabbed in the arm, Bobby's right leg got turned into a pincushion with all these little quills from one of the Nightmares, Whip somehow got one to his knee - it only got the skin, removed it easily, and Woods lost an antler, pobre chico. What else?  Lots of lacerations, a few minor springer wounds - ``\n\n``I was shot with a Mark III,'' he interjected, ``far too many times to be friendly fire.  How'd the enemy get their hands on it?''\n\n``Oh, that.  One of the Dark DK's scalded Karo's hands with a jet of boiling water - a Power.  He dropped the rifle and that DK took it.  He's awfully sorry by the way.''\n\n``So - ``\n\n``[i]Nothing[/i] permanent, Igrath.  As you can hear, there's no one else in the infirmary right now - they all recovered just fine, thanks to you.''\n\nHe breathed a sigh of relief.\n[i]\nThank the stars.[/i]\n\nHe lay back against the pillows, tension rolling off his shoulders.\n\n``Digo...''\n\nA subtle scraping of cloth indicated a change in her posture, responding to his change in tone.\n\n``How did I survive?''\n\nHe could hear her shift her weight on her feet, nervous, or perhaps just uncomfortable with the recollection.\n\n``You almost didn't,'' she said after a few moments.  ``Even after we got the bullets out, you didn't wake up for a long time; you were out for three days - ``\n\nHe jerked forwards in shock and instantly regretted it as pain shot through his abdomen.\n\n[i]``T-three days?''[/i]\n\n``Igrath!'' she admonished. ``Hold still or you'll tear your stitches!''\n\n``B-but,'' he wheezed as she grabbed his arms, ``how did you - ``\n\n``Slow down, big boy. Can't you guess?''\n\nHe attempted to frown harder but it only made his forehead ache.\n\n[i]``Idiota,'' [/i]she scolded with the distinct manner of one rolling their eyes.  ``I thought you would've figured it out by now - it's obvious!  You were - ''\n\nThey were interrupted by the soft swoosh of curtains as someone entered the infirmary.\n\n``!Bien! Here she is now.''\n\nThe soft pitter-patter of her feet moved away from his bed.\n\n``I'll just leave you two alone for now - gotta go check on Karo's bandages.''\n\nThe curtain swooshed again and left them in silence.\n\nWith nothing to go on, he was at a distinct disadvantage, struggling to deduce who was responsible for his miraculous recovery.  Did he suffer brain damage or was his mind still muddled from such a long period of unconsciousness?\n\nBefore he could make any headway, the pitter-pattering returned, just as light and swift as when Digo had charged him.  He braced for impact.\n\nA small body fell into his waiting arms with a sob, the young woman laying her head against his furry chest.\n\nDigo was right - it was obvious.\n\nHe pulled her into a great big hug, lifting her slender form onto the bed.\n\n``Lilith,'' he said softly, ``it's okay.  I'm alright.  I'm here.''\n\nShe snuggled in close to him, face pressed into his side.  He felt her tears soak into his fur.  He gently stroked her hair, whispering reassurances all the while.\n\nFor the first time since he woke, he realized how much of a scare he must have given everybody, especially his nieces.  He wondered where Namah was, and how she was handling it.\n\nAnother thought struck him - Lilith had saved his life.\n\nHe smiled down at her.\n\n``Lilith, I've heard you're the one to thank for this.''\n\nThe weeping choked off.\n\n``You saved my life.  Thank you.''\n\nShe started to tremble in his arms.\n\nA strange feeling came over him, his fur trying to stand on end.\n[i]\n``Nononono, p-please, stoppitpleaseSpiritspleasestoppit!!!''[/i]\n\nAnd the screams...\n\nSomething was wrong.\n\nWho killed the man with the Mark III?  Why did he die like that?  It sounded like he was... falling apart... dissolving... [i]decaying...[/i]\n\n[i]Him?[/i]\n\nNo, it couldn't be - it made no sense at all.  The bastard wouldn't save his life and even if he did, why wouldn't Digo mention it?  No, something else had happened.\n\nSomething was [i]very[/i] wrong, and Lilith knew about it.\n\n``Lilith...''\n\nHe felt her stir against him.\n\n``Would you help me?  I'd like to go for a walk, outside of the base.''\n\nShe finally spoke words.\n\n``N-no, you can't!'' she exclaimed in worry.  ``You're wounds haven't healed - you'll tear your stitches and - ``\n\n[i]``Lilith,'[/i]' he said forcefully.\n\nHe slid his claws over her arms up to her hands and grasped them.\n\n``Please, I would rather be someplace quiet.  Somewhere without... others.''\n\nHer tremors subsided somewhat; he took that as a sign of understanding.\n\nShe hopped off him as he began to move, throwing his legs over the side.  He grimaced.  The pain was bearable enough for now, but it was better to be safe than sorry.\n\n``Erm... Lilith, do you think you can find a cane big enough for me?'' he asked sheepishly.\n\n[center]*******[/center]\n\nIt was midday - the radiant warmth of the sun felt wonderful, heating his fur and feathers while easing the stiffness in his limbs.\n\nPurportedly the view was not quite as wonderful; just an expanse of sand and rock, plain and unassuming, not even an intriguing formation of stone to admire.  Of course, he couldn't corroborate that assessment, but he trusted the source.  Regardless, the view was irrelevant at the moment; he just needed to get Lilith away from any prying ears (and eyes).\n\n``Think you can find us a good spot to sit?''\n\n``Sure,'' came her quiet reply.\n\nHis cane (thank the stars that Scinter made sure they had canes in his size) knocked against the stone with hollow [i]thunks[/i] alongside his lumbering [i]thuds [/i]and Lilith's gentle [i]paps[/i] as she led him to a raised ledge.  Guiding him with her arms, he gingerly sat down on the dusty platform, releasing a sigh of appreciation for the rest.  He set the cane down to his left while he patted the rock to his right.\n\nSeven [i]paps[/i], the rustle of clothing, and she was situated by his side.\n\nThey sat there for a minute, letting the rays shine down upon their faces.\n\nHis ears twitched, searching for any indication of eavesdroppers.  Finally confident that they were truly alone, he reached over and took her hand in his, the delicate little thing swallowed by his monstrous paws.\n\n``Lilith, I want you to tell me everything, if you can.  I'll just listen, if you want me to.  But don't be afraid and don't leave anything out.  I promise, it will get better once you get it off your chest and, if it's okay with you, I'll do my best to help if I can.''\n\nHe gave her fingers a firm yet gentle squeeze.\n\n``Okay?''\n\nShe was silent for a good thirty seconds before she responded.\n\n``Okay.''\n\n[center]*******[/center]\n\n[i]I guess I'll start with the ambush... I mean, it's the natural place to start.  You know everything before that.  Stupid, of course you did - you were leading it.\n\nUm, sorry, I...\n\nI remember hearing your shout and suddenly there was... stuff flying everywhere, trees exploding all around.\n\nBast immediately shoved me down, trying to protect me.\n\nI felt... angry, just a little bit.  I understood why he did it, but I couldn't help but feel... annoyed? I guess I was just tired of being treated like some damsel in distress.  Doesn't really matter, not now anyways...\n\nSomething with glowing eyes - a Sandman, one of the smaller ones - leapt from a tree, right toward us.  Bast tried shooting it out of the air with his Power, but he only glanced it.  It slammed into him, knocking him off me.  I saw it stab one of its... f-fingers right into his arm.\n\nI panicked.\n\nI grabbed for the springer, the one you gave me.  Still wasn't very good at the range, but you insisted... especially since you were so... so angry that I got Scinter to let me and the others come, even though you...\n\nB-but this time I got it right.  Shot it through the eye - the glow just vanished and the thing fell over, limp like a doll.\n\nI was paralyzed by shock, but it didn't last long.  It was just a puppet... it wasn't...\n\nIt was... not a-a-alive...\n\nBast was alright.  I think he was kind of... surprised at what I did.  I almost forgot that he wasn't there when I... with the Nightmare in the... Tower...\n\n...\n\n..........\n\n...............sorry...um...\n\nAnyways, he never really saw me like t-that before... but that doesn't matter at all, why am I...?\n\n...I heard your voice, shouting orders in our ears, guess we just forgot about the earpieces for a moment there.\n\nYou were pulling everyone back, around one of the battle wagons, the poor knossus pulling it was already...\n\n...so we ran to you, Bobby and the others covering us.  I think I dropped the springer at this point, I guess I was just so freaked out that I forgot all about it.\n\nEveryone else was already there, Namah and Kalei, Mace and Whip... you were keeping Mace and Whip back while Kalei was helping the others hold the... line?  I also think you were trying to get Namah back too, but she - of course she did - she was keeping well out of your reach, blasting Sandmen with those pink whips of hers.\n\nSuddenly this huge Nightmare, all wings and c-claws, just swooped down on us, but Bast was there and it was too big for him to miss.  It caught fire, like it was made of paper, its wings shriveling up and disintegrating into little flakes...\n\nBut it fell right into the wagon, knocking off... I'm so sorry, I forgot his name... he's the blackish one with red... um, the one with the blue halo... or was it orange?  I'm sorry, I just can't remember... but he flew off the big cannon - the MCP.\n\nOne of the bigger Sandmen and a Dreamkeeper tried to push through, to take advantage of the chaos, and then you just... bellowed and charged right into them and you...\n\nBut right after that, this other Dreamkeeper - he had snuck around from behind - he jumped out and hit Karo with a blast of boiling water and steam.\n\nKaro s-screamed and dropped his springer... the Dreamkeeper kicked Karo in the groin and took the gun and... a-a-and he p-pointed i-it at y-y-you...\n\n...\n\n........\n\n...Bast was exhausted, I d-didn't know where Namah was, I'd lost the springer, and everyone else was...\n\nI could only watch as he f-fired at you over and over...\n\n...but it looked like you were fine, that your Power, your resilience was protecting you, the bullets just bouncing off your arms...\n\nYou ran toward him, but I saw... he was just so fast, he had his Power up, yellow, I figured that part of it made him faster...?\n\nHe already had picked up another magazine from Karo and he knew how the gun worked - he switched them out and then he - \n\nH-he had this... [/i]grin,[i] this sadistic s-smile as he...\n\nI thought your resilience could hold out, but I could already see you were exhausted and it was at point blank range...\n\n...I saw the first few bullets bounce away, but then...\n\n.......\n\nI s-saw it a-a-all... every... i-impact... e-very s-s-sp-sp-spurt...\n\nDear Spirits, it was like little bits of you were ex-exploding, blood g-gushing out of every hole, little bits of metal slicing and, and tearing you apart!\n\nHe was ripping you to pieces and all I could do was f-f-fucking watch!\n\n...y-you w-were d-d-dying...\n\n...Spirits, I was about to lose you.\n\nI couldn't...\n\nThen he was out of ammo and I thought it was over but he just kept that d-damn grin going and reached down to pluck another magazine off the ground and he was putting it in and eager to fire one last shot or maybe he wanted to shred your corpse into little pieces, just blast you to bits and there was no one, NO ONE else, just me watching you die and - \n\nI was so, so angry, at him, at myself, at everybody...\n\n...he had reloaded and was... was about to fire, so...\n\nAfter mom left, after what dad has done... you and Namah are all I have left.\n\nSo I reached out and... and...\n\nAt first, he just stopped, a little confused... then his arms started to sag, like the gun was suddenly too heavy for him.\n\nHe was blinking a lot, like he was getting tired.  He kept trying to raise the springer, but he just couldn't.\n\nThen he saw m-my... the light.\n\nHe followed it with his eyes, I saw him do that - they led right to me, my fingers pointing right at him.\n\nHe - he was angry, face screwed up in a snarl.  And I thought...\n\nI thought, how dare he, h-how d-d-dare he be angry at me after what he did.\n\nIt made even a-angrier, I was f-furious.\n\nI... I [/i]pushed.[i]\n\nThat's w-w-when h-he s-st-started sc-sc-screaming...\n\nW-when I d-did it to B-Bast, it was j-just an a-accident a-a-and, he l-looked d-drained and l-l-lifeless, but o-otherwise he was...\n\nB-but on S-Starfall, with t-that big t-thing, it f-f-fell apa-apart, e-everything just f-fell o-out... a-and that was an a-accident, t-t-too...\n\nH-he started b-bl-ble... bleeding from e-everywhere... his eyes, his m-mouth, l-little t-t-tears that appeared on his sk-skin, l-like it was o-old and r-rotten...\n\nT-then his arm, Spirits, his arm f-f-fell off, the w-weight of the g-g-g-gun r-r-ripping it o-off...\n\nA-and the b-b-blood s-sprayed f-f-from the shoulder and he b-began to b-b-b-beg but I, but I, but...\n\nI wanted him to hurt!  I wanted him to suffer!  I hated him and I wanted him to die!\n\nI kept pushing and pushing and he was shrinking and melting into a puddle and I kept on going and he kept begging and begging and telling me to please stop and I ignored it and kept going - \n\nSpirits, his head finally just SNAPPED off under its own weight, falling to the ground and EXPLODING, pieces of brain and bone flying everywhere and one of his eyes, his EYE rolled over and STARED at me and I could still hear him screaming even though I knew he was dead and - and - a-a-and - \n\n...\n\n..........\n\n...............sorry, I'm - I'm sorry, I'll be fine...\n\nWhat am I saying?\n\nI'm not fine.\n\nI don't think I'll ever be...\n\n...after...that...I ran to you, but you were already un-unconscious and I thought you m-might have already - \n\nBut I thought no, I wouldn't accept that.\n\nAfter I...l-leeched that D-Dreamkeeper d-d-dry, I was... high on his energy, his l-l-life, I felt like I was glowing, like I could do anything.\n\nSo I reached out to y-you... you were... torn almost in h-half...\n\nB-but it worked, it w-was al-almost too easy, because I had so much to give...\n\nI didn't extract the b-bullets though; my Power couldn't do that, so when we brought you back, they had to perform surgery on you, c-cut out the bullets, that's why you're all stitched up and in p-pain right now.  I was so tired afterwards that nobody would let me heal you; they thought it would h-hurt me if I tried so soon after...\n\nI'm - \n\n...\n\nI'm... glad that you are alive.  Really.\n\nOh, why am I saying such stupid things? Of course I am, what kind of person would I be - \n\nThat's it, isn't it?\n\n[/i]Isn't it!?[i]\n\nWhat kind of Dreamkeeper am I, to just murder someone like t-that and not f-feel a thing until - \n\nN-no, I did feel something.\n\nI was glad, I was happy, happy that I killed that man, happy that he suffered!\n\nHow could I?  How could I!?\n\nI don't know who I am anymore!\n\nWho am I?\n\n[/i]What[i] am I?[/i]\n\n[center]*******[/center]\n\nShe was no longer sobbing.\n\nShe had long since freed her hand from his, leaving him with only her voice.\n\nNow, Lilith merely sat there, silent.\n\nThe stillness was reminiscent of the void that suffocated him when he was dying.\n\n[i]You poor child.  I'm so sorry.[/i]\n\nHis arm lifted upwards in an attempt to reach around her and hug her body to his, but he resisted the impulse, the arm falling to his side.\n\n``Lilith, how much have I told you about when I was a police officer in Norvondire?''\n\nShe started when he broke the silence, her bottom softly [i]thapping[/i] the stone when she jumped.\n\n``I - I w-what?'' she stammered, confused by the sudden change in subject.  ``I mean, n-not much?  Nothing at all, actually.  Why - ?''\n\nHe held up a hand to quiet her.  Distraught as she was, she relented.\n\n``Before I ever became Guard Captain, before I was even a common Safety Trooper, I was a cop.  All Troopers were selected from among standard law enforcement - there was no other way to join.  With my fame as Fallguard Champion, the wheels were already greased a tad, but not by much.  It was my skill and excellent arrest record that ended my brief career as a police officer and launched me into the ranks of the Troopers.''\n\nHe had never thought he would tell either of his nieces this story.  There shouldn't have been any reason to.  But now he could see where the world was heading and there was no way that he could ever fully protect them from it.\n\nHopefully fate would be kinder to her than it ever was to him.\n\n``There was a certain set of requirements a regular officer must meet before being considered as a Trooper candidate.  They were fairly obvious: ``loyalty, bravery under fire, professionalism, and protocol.''  I had demonstrated three of those qualities in ample amounts during my first few months with a badge.  Unfortunately, an opportunity to demonstrate the fourth had yet to present itself.  The one I am talking about is ``bravery under fire.''\n\nAll of my arrests went smoothly, any armed suspects were either talked into surrendering, easily disarmed and subdued by a simple charge, or merely intimidated by my size.  Norvondire, while not perfect, was in a slump when it came to springer crimes and gang violence.  There were no spontaneous shoot-outs and anything major in other districts were handled by local law enforcement and if they couldn't handle it, the Troopers were sent in.\n\nFate refused to give me a chance to prove myself.\n\nOne day that changed.\n\nA Calypsan crimelord known as Gabriel Yarrow had been slowly snaking his way into Norvondire, unnoticed by City Central Authority for months.  Thanks to a firm reign on his men and his clients, as well as a complete lack of meaningful competition, he managed to fine tune his operation and so eliminate major violent crime wherever he took root.  He was invisible.\n\nThat was until a rival caught wind of his little enterprise and decided to muscle his way in.  Things got nasty, fast.\n\nIn fact, they got nasty when I was knocking on the door of a suspect in a weapons smuggling case I was investigating.  The suspect happened to be in the employ of Yarrow and it was just my luck that the rival had sent thugs to take him out.  Even better, Yarrow had just gotten wind of the hit and therefore a squad of his own thugs were already on their way to protect their asset.\n\nIt was a perfect example of comedic timing - both bands came around from opposite sides of the street, and there I was, just about to knock on the guy's door.  We all stood there for a full minute, just blinking at each other like a bunch of idiots, before one side drew a springer and fired the first shot.\n\nAll hell broke loose as expected, bullets flying every which way and that, bits of wood, plaster, and stone exploding and flying about.  I ducked into an alcove and contacted my station chief over my radio, informing him of the situation and requesting backup.  He told me to hold my position and not to engage the shooters; the Safety Troopers were coming to handle the situation.\n\nI grew angry, infuriated that a chance to prove myself had served itself to me on a silver platter and then my superiors had decided to hand it off to the Big Boys.\n\nRight then and there, I decided enough was enough and resolved myself to joining the melee.\n\nIf I would've committed myself at that moment, I would probably be dead right now, torn to pieces in the crossfire.\n\nInstead, both groups abruptly broke up and fled.  I quickly guessed that at least one side had a source in the CCA who alerted them to the incoming Troopers.  It was the perfect opportunity - they were retreating, possibly disorganized.  I knew that I couldn't catch them all, but if I could get ahold of at least one for interrogation, then I would most certainly be commended for my initiative.\n\nI was being incredibly stupid.\n\nI ran after Yarrow's group as they ducked into an alley.\n\nBy some luck, they had not seen me give chase and were completely unprepared to see a Fallguard star come barreling around the corner.  I slammed into the first man before anyone could react, throwing him into the stone wall and knocking him out cold.  The others made the mistake of stopping and turning around to confront me.\n\nThey drew their weapons, but were far too slow.  I used my impressive size to maximum effect, tearing springers from broken fingers, delivering devastating blows to soft stomachs, and even knocking a couple of heads together like in a Saturday morning cartoon.  Despite my ferocity, my blows were carefully measured; most of them were injured, sure, but nothing fatal.\n\nHowever, there was this one guy - young, a little similar to a raptor, but covered in thick cream-colored fur.  He must've been a hit with the ladies.  He was also the smartest; as soon as he saw me, he didn't stay and fight - he ran.\n\nWhile I was busy with his pals, he was making his way around the next corner, exiting the alley onto a major thoroughfare.  Me and my damn ego, I just couldn't let one go.  After giving a cursory inspection of the others, to ensure that they were indeed down, I gave chase.\n\nI may seem unwieldly and slow, but anyone who's seen my matches are intimately familiar with just how fast I can sprint.  I was confident that I could catch up to him.  I rounded the corner and almost ran right into an incoming groundcar.\n\nI deftly dodged around the knossus pulling it and saw the guy about twenty feet down the street.  His Power was active, the halo a faint teal color, and it apparently allowed him to, well, float.\n\nAh, scratch that.  Not exactly.  More like he could step on air, somewhat.  He would push down and his foot would stop just above the ground, sinking a bit like there was an invisible pillow there.  He would shove off and gain a bit more height, his next footfall stopping at an even higher elevation.  It wasn't enough to get to the rooftops, and he couldn't maintain maximum height for long, but it allowed him to glide and hover around the various Dreamkeepers, stalls, carts, and the occasional groundcar.\n\nNow my bulk was a liability, but I more than made up for it with my vast experience in dodging tackles.  I weaved and danced through the traffic and between shopping stalls, closing in on my prey.  It was actually fun - if it wasn't for the exertion of the chase, I would've been laughing.\n\nHe was tiring.  I could see it.  His halo was fading, his height dropping, constantly throwing panicked looks over his shoulder.\n\nI had him.\n\nThen he pulled his gun.\n\nI was a big target and he had a height advantage, but we were also both moving.\n\nIt was a simple breech-load model, two barrels stacked vertically, one of the older ones you see, accurate only at close range.\n\nHe fired both shots.\n\nI was callously charging between a small family at the time.\n\nThe first round caught the father in his right arm.\n\nThe second went through the eye of his thirteen year-old girl.\n\nI don't remember her face - I wasn't paying attention at the time and I even when I looked at her photo afterwards, my mind would only show me a gaping black hole next to a green eye, surprised and wreathed in red.\n\nYou know I have never had children, and you and Namah weren't born yet, so I had nothing remotely close to compare to.  I didn't know what it means to be a father, what it means to have a child of my own.\n\nBut I saw the look on that man's face, and I knew.\n\nWhat I felt... I only felt it twice since then.\n\nI felt it when I... when I - ``\n\nHe stopped there, wrestling with his emotions.  It wouldn't do her any good if he broke down.\n\nSwallowing back tears, he managed to regain his composure and continued.\n\n``...When I found... Fae... and when I saw you two beneath the tower.\n\nI made up my mind right then and there.\n\nI was going to kill him.\n\nYou have never seen me truly angry, angry enough to scream like some ravenous animal.  I learned better self-control in the years afterward.  But at that moment, that is what I did - I charged at him, screaming in rage.\n\nExhausted and terrified, his halo disappeared and he fell into the dirt.\n\nEverybody nearby had already moved out of the way, scared off by the springer shots; he was out in the open, nowhere to go.\n\nEven with my speed, he had already fished out a single shell from his pockets and was in the process of shoving it into the breech with trembling fingers.\n\nI wouldn't have made it in time.  So I drew my own weapon.\n\nI never really used it except as a threat.  It was a bulky thing, one of the rarer, specially made models for officers with larger hands.  The manufacturer thought it a waste to simply make the normal pistol's grip larger without taking advantage of the greater strength I offered.  Regulations forbid calibers above a certain size, but they allowed for the addition of more barrels.  Magazine-fed pistols weren't in production at the time, so the only way to increase the number of rounds you could fire was by increasing the number of barrels.  Mine had four.\n\nIt was big, it was intimidating, unwieldly, and butt-ugly.  I had never fired it outside of the range.\n\nI was a few feet away when his springer came up, one barrel loaded, pointed straight at my face.\n\nI was faster.\n\nI remember the sight to this day, his head snapping back, the back of his head bursting apart into flying shards of bone and bits of brain.\n\nI had shot him right through his eye.\n\nHe was the first Dreamkeeper that I had ever killed.\n\nHe would not be the last.''\n\nHe paused for rest.  His voice had started to grow hoarse; in the back of his mind he wished he had something to drink.\n\nHe swallowed, the dry tissue of his throat scraping like sandpaper.\n\n``I... I got exactly what I wanted.  Despite technically being a breach of protocol, my superiors congratulated me on my initiative and my skill, which resulted in the capture of several known felons.  The information gleaned from their interrogations were integral to the eventual downfall of Gabriel Yarrow.\n\nThe media had a field day, especially with... her.  The headline read `Daring Police Officer Avenges 12-Year-Old Girl.'  They called me a hero.  At her funeral, her father, arm in a sling, told me that I wasn't to blame for her death, and thanked me for making sure her killer paid for it.\n\nThe praise of my superiors and the media attention helped push my career forward, helping ensure my eventual admission into the ranks of the Anduruna Safety Troopers.\n\nI would have liked to say that it was her face that haunted my dreams.\n\nInstead, for many nights after, I relived that man dying over and over and over.\n\nI was horrified by what I had done.\n\nI was terrified of myself.\n\nAll it took was a single instant of raw rage and suddenly I was perfectly willing and able to end someone else's life.  I didn't spare a moment to question what I was thinking, what I was planning to do.  I didn't hesitate to condemn that man, didn't hesitate to take on the roles of judge, jury, and executioner.\n\nI didn't hesitate to put a bullet through his brain.\n\nAnd, worst of all, in those few seconds just after his body hit the ground, when I was standing over his corpse, I didn't feel shock or horror or regret.  But neither was I numb.\n\nInstead, I felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction.\n\nFor years, I had nightmares of that moment.''\n\nShe was very still, giving him nothing with which to judge her reaction to his words.\n\nIt was a while before she finally spoke.\n\n``How did you make them stop?''\n\nHer voice was tiny, a faint tremor barely detectable.\n\nHe hesitated.\n\n``Well... I...''\n\nHe frowned.  He hadn't given consideration towards what he would say after his story.\n\nThe nightmares, at least the ones about that man, had indeed stopped.  But how does he put the `why' into words?  It was so gradual that it took him a while to even notice that they had stopped, much less examine the reason why.\n\nHe sighed.\n\nHe had to try something.  Maybe it would help him understand as well.\n\n``Lilith...'' he tentatively began, ``there are plenty of good reasons for why people abhor the act of killing.  Unlike any other act of theft or destruction, killing takes away the one thing in the Dreamworld that can never be truly replaced.  What killing takes can never be given back.  Because of this, there have been a lot of argument about the nature of killing.\n\nSome say that the act itself is unnatural, a crime regardless of the who, how, or why.  It seems make sense.  Life is natural and killing is the negation of life, so wouldn't it make sense that it be unnatural?  At the very least, as the one irreplaceable thing in this world, it should be a crime of the highest order, to take away something so precious.\n\nForgive me for my callousness, but that is bullshit.''\n\nShe jolted slightly, though it was likely just due to the unexpected vulgarity.\n\n``That line of thinking implies that even when faced with a person unquestionably evil, a horrible murderer who is about to kill you or, worse, the ones you love, killing such a creature in self-defense makes you just as evil.  There are even those that take it to even greater extremes and say that any kind of defense is evil, claiming that even the tiniest act of violence is a crime.\n\nClearly those who support such a philosophy have never had their life threatened or seen their loved ones held at the point of a gun.\n\nThen what about something less extreme?  Sure, there are those that deserve to die, but shouldn't that be up to a court, a judge and jury?  Is it not dangerous to allow a common individual the power to judge the guilt of another and carry out a sentence, especially if they decide the sentence to be death?\n\nThat concept makes a little more sense.  History is replete with examples of punishments not fitting the crime, of individuals and mobs taking justice into their own hands and wrongfully punishing those that they hate or fear.  The idea is that by putting the power of judgement into the hands of a specially selected and trained few, it would reduce the chances of punishing those who did not deserve it.\n\nBut that is just a pragmatic approach to governing a society and keeping peace.  It has nothing to do with the truth.  Guilt is guilt - an act of evil doesn't need the ruling of a jury to be evil.  A guilty person is guilty by committing the crime, not because he was convicted by a court of law.  If an individual judges and punishes a guilty party appropriately, he has done no wrong, has not violated any rights.  A criminal is such because he violates another's rights and in penalty loses rights in proportion to those he violated.  When it comes to the irrevocable, unforgiveable act of murder, all rights are forfeited.  It is preposterous to punish someone who takes the life of a murderer just because some group of random people judge the murderer guilty.\n\nI am not talking about ambiguous cases here, where the judgement might be in error, where the guilt is uncertain.\n\nThe man I killed and the one you...''\n\nHe hesitated, throat tight.  He decided to move on without finishing that statement.\n\n``There was no doubt about their intent and what they had done.  That man had killed a child right before my eyes; the other was a Dark Dreamkeeper, aligned with an enemy intent on total domination, if not total destruction, of our world.  Both were prepared to kill to get what they wanted.\n\nThey were not just guilty, but an active and obvious threat to ourselves and those we care about.\n\nHow could anyone fault us for saving ourselves?  How could anyone fault us for protecting our friends?  Our family?\n\nAnd... just because we... because we... felt...''\n\nHe started to fumble with his words.\n\nWhat the hell was he saying?  Where was he going with this?\n\nWould this even help?\n\nHe was supposed to be comforting her, not bombarding her with a long-winded lecture!\n\nAnd even though his nightmares were long gone, the doubts had never really left.\n\nIt was easy to order the deaths of the enemy from afar, their crimes neatly tallied and judgement passed.  He never lost sleep over the likes of them; they were a known, quantified threat and he had absolute confidence that their deaths were justified.\n\nIt was also easy to kill Nightmares.  They weren't Dreamkeeper, not even animal; they were unnatural, foreign invaders with a clear intent to either enslave or kill every Dreamkeeper alive.  He felt no guilt ending their lives.\n\nEven against a Dark Dreamkeeper, he gave no mercy.  As he said, they were aligned with the enemy; that in of itself spoke volumes about their guilt.\n\nHe never had trouble justifying his deeds.\n\nBut there was a difference between a cold-blooded killing and... what he sometimes did.  Scinter was an expert at pragmatic killing, no emotional attachment to the act, only an objective justification and then he had it carried out with cold efficiency.  It was not a matter of glory or of satisfaction, only necessity.  He tried so hard to mimic that level of detachment, but occasionally he would feel... [i]it[/i] on the battlefield, where his own hands dealt the killing blow.\n\nThen he would question himself.  He would question whether all those justifications really mattered to him, in that moment, fighting for his life against the enemy.  He would then wonder if, deep down, he ever needed a reason to kill.\n\nThe last question would always come back to haunt him, the one that truly gave him nightmares.\n\nAm I a monster?\n\nThat... that was what Lilith was asking herself.\n\n``What I'm trying to say...''\n\nShe should never have come to him.\n\nNo, it wasn't her fault - he should never have tried.  She knows him as her uncle, caring, brave, and kind.  She didn't know him as the killer he was.\n\n``...I...''\n\nHow could he even begin to help her when he couldn't even help himself?\n\nHe choked off, swallowing, mouth moving but nothing coming out.  It was becoming harder to remain calm, the tumultuous storm of emotions starting to break free of his control.  He tried to hold it back, tried not to show it, afraid of how it will affect her in this state.\n\nHe...\n\n...maybe it was time for it to be let out.\n\nHe abruptly stood, wounds flaring in aggravation.\n\nStiffly, he turned and knelt before her, taking her hands in his.\n\nHer hands were still... they were so small, he felt like he was going to break them in his gigantic claws.  These hands are...\n\n``Lilith... I'm sorry.''\n\nHe heard a sharp intake of breath.\n\n``I... you should have never been put in a situation where... you would have to make a decision like that.  It's my fault that this happened to you.  I should have taken you and Namah from that tower years ago.  Damn Scinter and Nainso and damn their plans - they know nothing of family.  I should never have waited.\n\nBut now it's too late and I'm still trying to shield you from it all and...  I'm a fool for thinking that I can.  You're a part of it all now.  Even if I took you two away, far away, far from everything, they will find you.  And I know that you wouldn't want to run anyway.\n\nI'm sorry - I take the blame for all of this.\n\nAnd... don't you [i]dare[/i] feel sorry, not one bit, especially not for him.\n\n[i]You are not a monster.[/i]\n\nYou're the kindest, gentlest soul this world has ever seen.  These hands are the hands of a healer, of a savior.  You're a hero.\n\nYou should [i]not[/i] feel ashamed for what you did.  You felt fear that I would die.  Not wrong.  You felt anger at the man who was going to kill me.  Not wrong.  You killed that man.  Not wrong.  You made him suffer.  [i]Not wrong.  You saved my life.[/i]  I don't care how you did it, it was [i]not wrong.[/i]\n\n[i]It was right.[/i]\n\nAnd Spirits be damned, I am grateful for it!\n\nYou saved a life and harmed a wicked man in the process.  Dammit, it's not like his guilt was in question!  What cruel bastard would ever condemn you for this?\n\nAnd... just because you felt... satisfaction at his suffering, that doesn't change who you are.\n\n[i]I know you.[/i]  Namah knows you.  Your friends know you.\n\nIf they were here right now, they would agree with me:  you are a good person.\n\nI mean... what?  You think that because of this, you'll suddenly change your personality?  Go against everything you have ever believed in?  Become some psycho murderer?  Completely negate the very core of who you are?  Do you really think that you are now capable of hurting the ones you loved?  Do you really think you might spontaneously seek out innocents and torture them for... what?  Kicks?\n\nHonestly, do you actually see that happening?  I don't.  [i]I know it won't.[/i]\n\nThat's because [i]I believe in you, Lilith.[/i]\n\nAnd I know that everyone else does, too.''\n\nHis voice was breaking, practically a croak now.\n\nHe continued, this time speaking softly.\n\n``I must admit, I envy you.  I can only save lives by protecting others, and killing those who wish to do harm.  But, you, you can also heal.  Your Power... I don't think it was an accident that it fell to you.  Have you ever heard of anything that so perfectly personifies justice?  The Power to take from evil and give it back to the good?  To defeat your enemies and save your friends?\n\nIt is a great burden, but I know that it has found the best hands, the only hands capable of wielding such a Power.\n\nAnd... even if these words don't help, and you still doubt yourself, or come to later, know that you are not alone.\n\nI will not always be there to help you.  I'm sorry, but it's the truth.\n\nBut I've heard the voices of your friends.  I have not heard them long, but I've heard enough to realize how much they care about you.  And how much you care about them.\n\nThey believe in you.  And they need you.\n\nYou... don't have to kill, if you don't want to.  But I would be lying if I said fate would leave you be and let you get by without killing.  This is a war, no doubt about it.  The enemy will be merciless and they won't hesitate to kill you or anyone else.  Your life, the lives of those you love, and maybe even the lives of every Dreamkeeper may depend on you having to kill.\n\nBut your sister, Kalei, Bast, Mace and Whip - I have no doubt that they'll be there, sharing the burden with you.''\n\n[center]*******\n[/center]\nSilence.  Again.  He hated it.\n\nHe thought of saying more, but he knew he would just be retreading old ground until he devolved into a rambling mess.\n\nWhat else was there to say?\n\nDammit, he should have at least said that he loved - \n\nHer hands withdrew from his, leaving him alone in the darkness.\n\nHe froze.\n\nFear snaked its way through him, fear that he had failed, fear that she was going to leave - in more ways than one.\n\nHis fear was baseless.\n\nHer arms wrapped around his shoulders and head, drawing him against her chest.\n\nHe heard every beat of her heart.  He heard every shaky breath, every hiccup.\n\n``I... I... I love you, Igrath.''\n\nShe beat him to it.\n\nHe wrapped his ridiculous, giant, shaggy arms around her and returned the embrace.\n\n``I should have led with that,'' he mumbled into her shirt.\n\nShe sniffed.\n\n``Yeah... that and the hug.''\n\nHe chuckled.\n\n``I guess everyone needs a hug, now and then.''\n\nThey remained that way for some time; he didn't know how long and didn't care.  Eventually, they let each other go and he got back to his feet.\n\nSore and tired, he hobbled next to her, wincing as he sat down, her arms guiding his progress.\n\n``You really shouldn't be up,'' she worried.\n\n``Bah, I'll live,'' he grumbled.  \n\nHe grimaced.  ``Wow, I'm sounding like an old man.''\n\n``Well, you are - ``\n\n``Yes, but I don't like to be reminded!''\n\nThat got a laugh out of her.  A tiny one, but a laugh nonetheless.\n\nShe snuggled up next to him and he put an arm around her.  He could feel the warmth fleeing him; the sun was setting.  It occurred to him that he never bothered to ask what time it was when he woke.  Either he woke very late or they were out there for a lot longer than he had thought.\n\n``Igrath...'' Lilith began, ``I don't know if... any of that helped... No, it did, at least a little, but what I mean... I don't know if it fixed everything.''\n\n``I didn't expect it to,'' he replied.\n\n``Yes, but... I need time to think about it.  I'm not even sure that I agree with you... not completely.  Even if I did... I'm still... afraid... of going... of the...''\n\n``Nightmares?''\n\nShe shuddered.\n\n``Yes,'' she whispered.\n\n``Well, I might have a solution for that.''\n\nHe felt her head leave his shoulder, likely to look up at him with a questioning look.\n\n``What?''\n\nHe turned to smile at her.\n\n``Well, right after I rescued you from the Archives, I had a novel experience.  For the first time in all my years of knowing them, Indi and Digo had someone else to gossip about.  Consequently, I heard a great deal about a certain young man who has apparently taken a liking to you.''\n\nDoubtless, in addition to a confused expression, Lilith was also blushing furiously right now.\n\n``If the stories could be believed, he has gone to great lengths to protect you.  Did he really hike all the way up Starfall mountain?''\n\nShe swallowed audibly.\n\n``We were already part way down, but yes he came looking for us.''\n\n``For [i]you,''[/i] he corrected her.  ``And he discovered where you were by following me and the boys back to a Troika safehouse.  He never showed it, but Scinter was pretty embarrassed that some teenager managed to tail him! Ha!''\n\n``Okay, but what does that have to do with - ?''\n\n[i]``And[/i] that little adventure beneath the Towers - well, I don't think I need to remind you what he did down there.  Mighty impressive from what I heard!''\n\n``Igrath, what are you - ``\n\n``And is everything they say about the tail true?''\n\n``What?  I - yes, I think so - ''\n\nHe poked her shoulder with a claw.\n\n``Well, then; he's your solution!''\n\n``Excuse me?''\n\n``I, as your guardian, or at least the closest person to it, hereby grant you permission to sleep with Bast.''\n\nWait.\n\nWhat did he just say?\n\nLilith produced a gasp of pure, scandalized incredulity.  It was quite comical.\n\n[i]``Igrath!!''[/i]\n\nHe almost knocked himself over as he slapped his free hand to his forehead, a mortified expression on his face.\n\n``No-no, that's not what I meant!'' he moaned, backpedaling.  ``I meant you can share a bed, but nothing else!  Underwear minimum - no, scratch that, he [i]must[/i] have pants - you, too!  And a shirt for you!  Maybe him as well, his tail's fluffy enough, don't you think?  I mean, his chest fur isn't nearly as impressive. Gah, what the hell am I saying?''\n\n``Igrath - I - [i]pfft[/i] - don't think - no, I - [i]pfft![/i]''\n\nShe was clutching him, failing miserably in her attempts to stifle her giggles.\n\n``I - we aren't really - [i]pfft [/i]- together.''\n\nIt took great effort to reign in his own laughter.  Trying to regain composure, he finally responded.\n\n``Not from what I've seen - erm, heard.  Seriously, you two are good for each other.  I approve.  Just keep it clean.''\n\nIt seemed that she was carefully considering his words.\n\n``Igrath, you know me.  Do you really think that I would do... something, with Bast?''\n\n``Heh, my bad - ``\n\n``At least not in the bunks.  There's no privacy whatsoever.''\n\nHe stared at her for a moment in shock.  Then he grinned.\n\n``Lilith Calah, I sure hope that is a joke.  I expect you to act like a proper girl your age or so help me I will turn your boyfriend into a pancake.''\n\n``By falling on him?'' she said innocently.  ``You're barely able to stand as it is.''\n\nHe ruffled her head.\n\n``Really, Lilith, where did this rebellious streak come from?  This is Namah's doing, isn't it?''\n\n``No, I think it's Bast; he's such a [i]baaaaad[/i] influence...'' She attempted to feign an exaggerated bored drawl.\n\n``That's it,'' he declared, ``c'mere you!''\n\nMany who glimpsed his claws feared them.  Who wouldn't?  They were quite deadly, capable of ripping through flesh and armor with terrifying ease.  But they didn't know the half of it.  When applied with gentle and careful force, they were the perfect implements of torture.\n\nHe descended upon Lilith and subjected her to the most diabolical torment of all - tickles.\n\nShe squirmed away in panic, but caught by surprise, she had no hope of escaping his claws.  In no time he had her as helpless and giggly as a ten-year-old.\n\n``N-n-n-nooooo, p-please, stop! Uncle! Uncle!''\n\nHe grinned maniacally.\n\n[i]``Uncle[/i] you say?''\n\nHis assault increased in intensity.\n\n``NO! Stoppit!  That has - [i]ha[/i] - nothing to - [i]pfft[/i] - [i]hahaha!''[/i]\n\nHe kept it up until her giggles became gasps and his arms began to feel like lead.  He fell back, laying against the hard rock, panting.\n\n``I've always wanted to do that.''\n\n``What... ha... [i]torture[/i] me?''\n\n``No, I wished that I could have played with you as a little girl, like any uncle should.  I've always regretted not being there when you and Namah were growing up.''\n\nFor a moment, there was only the sound of their breathing.\n\n``Well,'' she said.  ``I don't know about... [i]phew...[/i] being tickled to death, but there's no reason we can't do things like that now.''\n\n``Um, it's not like there's any theatres or ice cream shops around here...''  He waggled a hand vaguely at their surroundings.\n\n``We'll think of something.  You, me, and Namah.  Like a family.''\n\n``Like a...''\n\nTears beaded in his eyes.\n\n``I would like that.''\n\n``Me too.''\n\nHer voice sounded so much better, with a smile on her face.\n\nJust then, he noticed the complete lack of warmth on his face - the sun was setting, if it wasn't already gone.\n\n``Igrath... we better get back inside.''\n\nHe considered for a moment before replying.\n\n``You go on ahead.  I'm going to sit out here for a while.''\n\n``Are you sure?'' she asked, concerned.  ``Can you get back on your own?''\n\n``Lilith, I'm blind, not an invalid.  Don't you worry about me.  I'll be there in a few.  Now get!''\n\nShe kissed him on the cheek and, after a few seconds of hesitation, or perhaps she was just looking at his face, she got up and left.\n\nHe waited until the echoes of her footsteps faded into nothing before sitting back up.\n\nFacing out to where the sun used to be, he spoke to the air.\n\n``So, Namah, what did you think?''\n[center]\n*******[/center]\n\nWith the slightest of noises, she landed with a gentle [i]thap [/i]against the dusty ground.\n\n``Eh, six out of ten.  Good effort, but you slipped on the execution,'' Namah said like she was casually commenting on a mediocre Fallguard match.  ``The police story worked, but what was with that philosophy bit?  Honestly, you should've let me write it for you.  You might be good at rousing the troops - or at least they say you are - but your family pep talks need work.''\n\nWithout turning toward her voice, he grinned ruefully at the horizon.\n\n``Well, I'll endeavor to improve.''\n\nHe could barely hear a thing as she smoothly approached, footsteps almost nonexistent, the loudest sound being the soft rustle of her trench coat as she settled down next to him.\n\n``You here for a pep talk, too?  Can't guarantee they'll get any better.''\n\n``Nah.  I've just got something to say.  But, first...''\n\nHer tail poked him in his side.\n\n``Ground rules:  no tickling, and I initiate all hugs.  Deal?''\n\nHe laughed weakly.\n\n``Deal.''\n\nShe took a deep breath.\n\n``Okay...\n\nYou know all about our initial dustup with the Tins.  She tried to kill Lilith, I awakened my Power, I ruined her day.  It was mostly by instinct.  I didn't have a plan, I just wanted to protect my sister, by any means.\n\nI didn't hold back - not one bit.  If I hadn't conked out, then that bitch would have never made it out of that Tower alive.\n\nAt least, that's what I like to think.\n\nNow I'm not so sure.\n\nI was ready to kill her that day, fully committed to splatting her against the wall.  In fact, I nearly did; but of course she just barely managed to dodge my tendrils.\n\nBut what if she didn't?\n\nOr what if, right now, she escaped and went after Lilith again?  Or anyone else for that matter.\n\nI hope that I would be able to take it.  If anyone deserve it, it's her, and I don't hold any stupid ideas about vengeance is bad and vigilantism is wrong, blah-blah.  It's insane to even consider that I would lose any sleep over anyone like her.\n\nBut, after seeing what Lilith did, I just don't know anymore.''\n\nShe sighed.\n\n``So there you go; everybody got to tell a story, yay.  Well, mine wasn't really a story, but, eh, whatever.  Now let's conclude this delightful family therapy meeting with some closing remarks.''\n\nShe sighed.\n\n``Igrath, don't take this the wrong way, but honestly, I doubt that your spiel did any good.''\n\nHe ran his hand over his face, rubbing his beak.\n\n``And you think you could do better?''\n\n``Nope,'' she answered.\n\n``Well...?''\n\n[i]``Well, [/i]what I actually meant was that, while the speech itself didn't work out, the fact that you tried did.  Oh, and the whole friendship thing, that seemed to do the trick.  Thank you, by the way, for throwing the whole burden on our shoulders, Mister I-Won't-Always-Be-There.''\n\nHe was all out of chuckles at this point, weak or otherwise.  He settled for a thin smile.\n\n``Sorry to inconvenience you, Namah.''\n\n``Whatever; we can handle it.''  He imagined her flicking her hand in his direction, nonchalant.  [i]``Anyways,[/i] seeing as I'm the most stable of the group, it looks like most of that burden is going to be on me.''\n\nOkay, maybe he had one more chuckle left.\n\n``What's so funny, big guy?  It might not look like it on the surface, but I'm not joking.  Mace and Bast are just chock full of issues, wound up balls of angst just waiting to explode into another charming episode of melodrama.  Kalei, well, there's her sister, the whole kidnapping thing, and, of course, has anyone figured out the glowing thing, yet?  We're still kinda freaked out by that, especially her (obviously).  And Whip...  Wait, scratch that.  He might actually be alright.  Weird as the little guy is, I think he's handling the whole thing a lot better than everyone else.  Heh, good for him.''\n\nA scraping noise was followed by a swish and a series of [i]piks[/i] and [i]taks[/i] as Namah sent a pebble skipping across the ground.\n\n``Okay, fine, me and Whip will have to handle Operation `Friendship is Therapy.'  Gah, all I wanted was to be free of those damn Towers and everything just has to go to hell as soon as I get out.''\n\nHer flippant attitude abruptly vanished from her voice.\n\n[i]``Dammit, [/i]why does it all have to be so hard?''\n\nIndeed.\n\n``I don't know,'' was the best he could come up with.\n\n``Great answer,'' she retorted.\n\nHer feet scraped against the stone as she stood.  By the way she was grunting, he figured that she was stretching.\n\n``On that note, I have to fly - got a group therapy session to schedule.''\n\n[i]Thap.[/i] She hopped down and her voice relocated to the space in front of him.\n\n``And [i]you[/i] need to get back to your bed.  I've heard that a pair of purple twins - at least, I think they're still purple - are experiencing a fascinating amalgamation of anxiety and outrage about a certain blind uncle who should be resting and recuperating from a surgery involving the extraction of [i]multiple bullets.[/i]  I don't see what those two find so attractive - you're old, ugly, [i]and[/i] stupid.''\n\n``Maybe it's my wonderful personality,'' he countered, mimicking her tone.\n\nHer arms wrapped around him and gave him a tight squeeze.\n\n``Don't ever change, Uncle Igrath.''\n\nHe squeezed back.\n\n``Promise.''\n\nAs he gingerly rose, his cane was pressed into his hand.  He took it and started to make his way back to base.  After only a few lumbering steps, he stopped, confused.\n\nNow where was...?\n\nOops.\n\n``Um, Namah?''\n\n``Yeah?''\n\nHe felt heat rise in his cheeks.\n\n``Could you... help me get back?  I wasn't paying attention when I came out here and... well, I forgot the way back.''\n\nShe snorted.\n\n``Really?  Like I have enough to worry about.  Fine, gimme your hand...''\n\nHer hand in his, she led him back home.\n\n[center]*******[/center]\n\nAs soon as they moved within earshot of the various inhabitants, Igrath assured her that he could make it to the infirmary without her help.  She took him at his word, but made sure to watch him out of the corner of her eye, just in case.\n\nDespite his confidence, he didn't look so hot.  They should have let Lilith heal him the rest of the way.  Even if she was truly too shaken to do it three days ago, she was certainly ready enough now.  There were still some among the Troika, however, that still held doubts about Lilith's Power, and whether she was capable of using it; they found it safer to let Igrath's wounds heal naturally.\n\nAs he neared the entrance to the infirmary, one purple figure burst through the curtains hanging in the entrance while a second dashed out from around a corner, flanking him.\n\nYeah, he'll be fine.\n\nNamah turned her attention to the mess area, where at one long table Lilith sat, accompanied by their... by their friends.\n\nHow was she going to handle this?\n\nObviously, Igrath didn't intend active intervention.  He was thinking that they should just be there for her.  Support her when she needed it, talk if she wanted to, etc.  But what she said about Kalei and the boys wasn't exaggeration.  With so much on everybody's minds, she doubted that they would all just click and start openly discussing their feelings.  People never worked like that outside of scroll shows.  Plus, while shared life or death experiences could start a friendship, it couldn't sustain one.  They barely knew each other and with all the baggage they carried, none of them were willing to fix that and open up.\n\nAs she observed them from afar, she noticed that none of them were talking to each other.  Lilith was at the end, eating quietly; Bast was to her right, glancing at her occasionally, but keeping his head down, likely trying - and failing - to come up with a way to comfort her; Kalei was across from Lilith, trying to engage in conversation, but only getting one word answers in reply; and to Kalei's left was Mace who openly stared at her with a concerned, hopeless expression.  The depressing atmosphere seemed to be affecting Whip as well, who was perched on Mace's shoulder instead of performing his usual perky hover.\n\nOkay, there it is then.  She just had to break the ice.  Easy.\n\nIt had to be something simple, believable, and certain to get them talking.  Something cheerful, or funny, and strong enough to drive away all this doom and gloom.\n\nShe folded her arms.\n\nDamn, this was harder than she thought.\n\nStick to your guns - do what you know.\n\nWhat did she know?\n\nAn evil grin spread across her face as a delicious idea took form.\n\nOh, yes, that might work.\n\nAdopting a countenance of complete innocence, she coolly sauntered over to the kitchen and picked up a tray of dinner; she didn't pay any attention to the food itself and just picked up whatever was most convenient.\n\nAs she approached their table, Kalei's attempts at conversation ceased as she looked up at her, a worried look on her face.  Acting as if nothing was wrong, Namah responded with an easy smile and sat down next to Lilith.  Everyone looked up at her briefly and then returned to their previous depressed positions.\n\nWith exaggerated motions, she took a piece of bread and made a great show of taking a bite and chewing it, partnered with obnoxious sound effects.\n\nMace and Kalei gave her confused looks, Whip raised an eyebrow, and Bast shot her a dirty glare.  Lilith didn't react at all.\n\nAfter taking great care in swallowing her morsel, Namah swiveled on the bench, crossing her legs, bread still in hand, and regarded her sister.\n\n``So, Lilith...'' she began with a casual and inquisitive air.\n\nHer sister turned toward her with a questioning expression.  Nearby, Vi and Bobby were walking past, the former catching wind and turning slightly out of curiosity, ears cocked.\n\n``Did Igrath really give you permission to sleep with Bast?''\n\nIt was beautiful.\n\nBast went from icy glare to wide-eyed shock and embarrassment, the insides of his ears instantly painted maroon.  Mace toppled over backwards, Whip giving a squeak as he was thrown off his friend's shoulder.  Kalei gasped dramatically, hands over her mouth, looking very scandalized.  Vi burst out laughing while Bobby merely stared, ears twitching, trying to puzzle out whether he heard her right.\n\nBest of all was Lilith, who should have been given an award for the achievement of being even redder than Bast.  Out of them all, she was also the only one capable for forming words.  Well, one word.\n\n[i]``Namah!!''[/i]\n\nShe curled the fingers of her free hand beneath her chin and replied with a smug grin.\n\nYeah, it definitely worked.\n\n[i]*******[/i]\n\nHe was under siege by two very worried and very angry women when the explosion occurred.  He didn't need his sensitive ears to hear the gasps or laughter or Lilith's familiar exclamation.  Abandoning their chastising of him, Indi and Digo looked toward the table.\n\n``¿Que demonios?'' exclaimed Indi.  ``What's going on over there?''\n\nLeaning against his cane, too tired to laugh, and even too tired to smile, he simply nodded in satisfaction.\n\nThey had a very, very long road ahead of them.\n\nIt wasn't going to be easy, or kind.\n\nThey will face things no child should.\n\nThey will face things that [i]no one[/i] should.\n\nIn the coming months, he would once again be driven to doubt, and eventually believe that it would all come to a horrific end.  His torment - and theirs - was far from over.\n\nBut, in this one moment, looking at his family, surrounded by friends, he truly believed in one thing, beyond a shadow of a doubt:\n\nThey would be just fine.\n\n",
  "writing_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>&ldquo;Doubt&rdquo;<br /><br />He staggered backwards, each impact containing the force of a sledgehammer compacted into a tiny seed meticulously designed to pierce flesh, shatter bone, and pulverize life-giving organs, to utterly destroy the body and send its consciousness to the void.<br /><br />Igrath quietly thanked the Spirits for his resilience.<br /><br />The metal projectiles failed in their duty, managing only to flatten and bounce off his bare chest, as if they had driven into a solid wall of steel.&nbsp;&nbsp;He threw up his thick, muscular arms across his face, and felt numerous rounds glance off his skin.&nbsp;&nbsp;Yet there also several, weaker impacts, like little pieces of broken metal...<br /><br />Something was wrong.<br /><br />There had been far too many bullets, far too fast, especially for a Shock Rifle.&nbsp;&nbsp;Those unusual impacts were reminiscent of spent springer casings.&nbsp;&nbsp;And how could he mistake that subtle mechanical whirring for anything but a trio of internally rotating barrels?<br /><br />How could the enemy have a Mark III?<br /><br />All units were accounted for; none had ever left Troika hands&hellip;<br /><br />Unless those hands were dead.<br /><br /><em>Spirits, please don&rsquo;t let it be true.</em><br /><br />Suddenly the barrage halted, leaving a half-second of silence in its wake before being interrupted by a subtle <em>click </em>heralding the ejection of a spent magazine.<br /><br /><em>Now.</em><br /><br />Digging his gigantic feet into the soft ground, he launched himself forward in vengeful rage, clawed hands extended and prepared to tear apart his assailant.<br /><br /><em>Ker-chak.</em><br /><br />It was a disturbingly familiar sound, unmistakable.<br /><br />It denoted a fresh magazine being expertly inserted into the receiver of a Mark III.<br /><br />Judging by the abruptness and deafening volume of the first shot, he was but a few feet from the gunman.<br /><br />Three rounds accompanied by their spent casings threw one of his shoulders back, but it wouldn&#039;t be enough to slow him down.&nbsp;&nbsp;His momentum would easily carry him the last few feet, and then - <br /><br /><em>Vshhh.</em><br /><br />That one came from right above him.<br /><br />He barely had enough time to comprehend the meaning of that noise before the fourth bullet carved a tunnel through his breast and lodged itself in his left lung.<br /><br />A strangled gurgle escaped him as he fell to his knee; blood swelled from within and spurted upwards out of his mouth like an obscene fountain.<br /><br />The storm of metal continued, unabated; pointed slugs penetrating his thick hide, lodging in muscle and deflecting off bone to ricochet throughout his body, dancing a bloody ballet across his innards; the jagged edges of springer shells sliced deep grooves into his flesh, painting crimson tattoos across his hide; thin, sharp springs threaded themselves through his skin, adorning him like tinsel on All Spirit&#039;s Eve.<br /><br />The assault finally stopped, though it was not his ears that told him so - all sound had receded, leaving him in an inky black devoid of all sensation but pain.&nbsp;&nbsp;Instead, it was the absence of fresh metal violating his body that indicated that the weapon had once again ran out of ammo.<br /><br />He could imagine the <em>click</em> followed by the <em>ker-chak</em> as the clip was replaced, an evil grin upon the enemy&#039;s face as he (or she?) slowly swaps magazines, taking their sweet, cruel time to savor every moment of an accomplishment that they will surely boast about to every Dark Dreamkeeper and Nightmare accomplice of theirs - that they had single-handedly killed the great Troika commander, Igrath Winters.<br /><br />Not exactly how he&#039;d imagined going out.<br /><br />He felt warm blood stream down from his mouth in thick sticky ropes to join the rivers flowing through his fur from the multitude of holes and gashes that decorated his chest and abdomen.&nbsp;&nbsp;His arms hung limply at his sides, similarly torn and draped in their own little waterfalls of scarlet.<br /><br />All he could hear was his own ragged breathing, each spasm of his lungs sending fresh waves of pain as he slowly drowned; and his heart, its rapid, irregular beats waning in tempo as the damaged organ grew weary of its toil.<br /><br /><em>Ba-thump.<br /><br />Ba - thump...<br /><br />Baaa.... thump...</em><br /><br />His body, exhausted beneath the burden of unbearable pain, was finally giving up.<br /><br />Tears ran from his ruined eyes and down his weathered face, as regrets flashed before his closed lids.<br /><br />Two hazy forms - one green, one pink - attempted to resolve themselves, but he had little to go on beyond what he heard and what he could feel in the few times he had held them.&nbsp;&nbsp;Height, general shape, the color of their eyes...<br /><br />But what did their smiles look like?<br /><br />Damnit all - nothing he could imagine would compare to the real thing, denied the simple pleasure of his niece&#039;s smiling faces by that cursed day...<br /><br />No - he had<em> seen</em> them.<br /><br />He conjured up their voices, the times he heard their laughter, heard those smiles.<br /><br />A delicate hand laid itself upon the shoulder of the pink figure, leading up a slender arm decorated with feathers of blue and white, to a pair of beautiful blue eyes framed by magnificent wings.<br /><br /><em>Fae...</em><br /><br />The dull ache in his heart grew, overpowering the pain of his wounds and causing the dying muscle to skip a beat.<br /><br /><em>Ba - <br /><br />...t-thump...</em><br /><br />Another streak of blue blossomed into existence, this one laying itself upon the shoulders of the green mirage, coalescing into another slender woman, similar yet with much fewer feathers and a feline visage rather than one with a beak.<br /><br />They all stood there, smiling at him, their voices ringing from all around.<br /><br />There were no words, just the sounds of gentle, welcoming laughter.<br /><br /><em>My family.<br /><br />I&#039;m so sorry.</em><br /><br />The pain was gone, all sensation of the outside world wiped away.<br /><br />They reached out for him...<br /><br /><em>Ba...</em><br /><br />With his remaining strength, he reached out, too.<br /><br /><em>...........thump...<br /><br />Take me home.<br /><br />I&#039;m ready.</em><br /><br />He expected the end.<br /><br />At the very least, he expected to hear the final gunshot that would end his life.<br /><br />Instead, he heard screams.<br /><br />The most horrible cries of agony that he had ever heard.<br /><br /><em>Ba-ba-thump!?</em><br /><br />His arm dropped to the ground, steadying himself as awareness returned with a cruel jolt, bringing forth every sound, every touch, and every ounce of skull-splitting pain.<br /><br />He vomited upon the ground; by the coppery taste, he knew it was mostly blood.<br /><br />Even when his convulsions ended, the screams continued.<br /><br />They were right in front of him.<br /><br />A soft, wet <em>plop</em> sounded from the ground, less than a foot away from his face, like a slab of freshly cut meat tossed onto a butcher&#039;s table.<br /><br />He didn&#039;t understand.<br /><br />Where was the last gunshot?&nbsp;&nbsp;Where was the end?&nbsp;&nbsp;Why was he still blind?&nbsp;&nbsp;Did he just skip all that and went straight to some horrible afterlife?<br /><br />Was this hell?<br /><br />Another <em>plop</em>, this time a little further away.<br /><br />As his senses regained their focus, the screams began to form words.<br /><em><br />``Nononono, p-please, stoppitpleaseSpiritspleasestoppit!!!&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />He didn&#039;t recognize the voice.<br /><br />But it was coming from the same place where...<br /><br /><em>``PLEASESTOP - I&#039;m sorry! I&#039;M SORRY - pleasestopI&#039;lldoanything, just makeitstop!!&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />There was a squelching noise, like someone was squeezing a wet cloth, followed by an awful tearing sound.<br /><br />The screams briefly rose in pitch before they transitioned to a gurgling cry.<br /><br /><em>``P-p-p-please, I-I-I&#039;m s-s-sorry... d-d-don&#039;t...&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />It was a man begging for his life he realized as his mind slowly returned to the numb haze he was roused from.<br /><br />``I-I-I... d-don&#039;t... w-w-want... t-to d-die...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />The voice faded out.<br /><br />Something fell next to his head with a sound not unlike that of a rotten piece of fruit splattering against the ground.<br /><br />Some of it splashed upon his face, warm and wet with the consistency of oatmeal.<br /><br />As the world once again faded away, the last sound he heard were the gentle <em>paps </em>of small, delicate feet running towards him.<br /><br /><div class='align_center'>******</div><br /><br />The burly man grunted behind his tusks as his muscles bulged and strained against the tackle.<br /><br />Grinning, Igrath shifted his weight and redistributed his strength to his opponent&#039;s other knee, which the man had foolishly placed in a vulnerable, awkward angle.<br /><br />Unable to bear the sudden change in force, the tusked man fell to his knees, giving Igrath the opportunity to gently shove him off the edge into the left-hand trench.<br /><br />The crowd roared its approval.<br /><br />Not wasting time, he dug in his gigantic feet into the dirt and launched himself forward, charging toward the goal.<br /><br />The other team was tricked into overcommitting to the other lanes, leaving the center poorly defended.&nbsp;&nbsp;They thought that one player would be enough to hold it.&nbsp;&nbsp;It wasn&#039;t an unreasonable assumption - that man was their very best.<br /><br />Unfortunately for them, they were up against Igrath Winters, Champion Fallguard player of Norvondire!<br /><br />Adrenaline surged through every vessel, nerves on fire, his whole body practically vibrating in pure exhilaration.<br /><br />His eyes lasered in on the goal-markers, barely noticing the opposing players in his periphery, scrambling through the trenches in a futile attempt to intercept him.<br /><br />This was the big one, the last goal - the game was <em>his.</em><br /><br />A swirling shadow of liquid evil spurted out of the dirt just before the goal, swiftly resolving itself into a darkly familiar figure.<br /><br />He sprinted forward, roaring at the shadow in rage at its interference, prepared to smash it into bits on his way to glory.<br /><br />Suddenly there was a glint of silver and his view toppled sideways, falling into the sludge of the right-hand trench with a splash.<br /><br />He tried to cry out, but all he produced was a stream of blood, a pitiful twin to the waterfall gushing from his slit throat.<br /><br />There were faces with him in the mud.<br /><br />Four pairs of eyes stared into his - one green, two purple, one blue.<br /><br />Each was surrounded by expressions of helpless terror, their throats torn wide, their life flowing freely into the muck.<br /><br />He tried to scream, but not even a bloody gurgle escaped.<br /><br />The world became mute and blind, and darkness swallowed their faces.<br /><br />Out of the oily black, in an unnatural nightmarish echo of their final moments, his family began to scream.<br /><br /><div class='align_center'>*******</div><br /><br />As if the Spirits were sorry for his torment, consciousness came to him slowly, gently delivering him to the world of the living with careful baby steps.<br /><br />First was a sensation of warmth, followed by the heavenly touch of soft sheets caressing his supine form, and the firm support of a fluffy pillow beneath his head.<br /><br />The pain came next, but it was mercifully dulled, making itself known through only a mild ache in his chest, abdomen, and arms.&nbsp;&nbsp;However, sluggish as his mind was, he noticed that the pain did not properly represent that of bullet wounds.&nbsp;&nbsp;He detected numerous stitches, but they were far too wide to be entry holes.<br /><br />They must have been surgical incisions.&nbsp;&nbsp;Due to his muscular bulk and thick hide, which normally were a great asset, none of the projectiles pierced all the way through; every single round had firmly lodged themselves inside his body.&nbsp;&nbsp;Naturally, they had to be removed.<br /><br />But, that does not explain the absence of stitching for his various other injuries, the slashes and piercings made by the spent springer casings.&nbsp;&nbsp;In fact, he could not detect any of those wounds at all.&nbsp;&nbsp;He wasn&#039;t numb - they were simply gone.<br /><br />Multiple bandages wrapped across his figure, securing the dressings that protected the closed wounds.&nbsp;&nbsp;Other than that, his only garment was a fresh pair of boxers (thank the Spirits he wasn&#039;t naked).<br /><br />He switched focus to his ears, straining to map his surroundings by sound.<br /><br />There was the tinkling of metal instruments and glass bottles accompanied by the barely noticeable sliding of well-oiled wheels over tiled floor.&nbsp;&nbsp;Further off he could detect the muffled reverberations of familiar voices engaged in casual conversation.<br /><br />Unless he was still dreaming, he concluded that he was in the infirmary, recovering from surgery after receiving nearly a full clip of Mark III springer rounds at close range with his Power out.<br /><br />As unlikely as it was, there was no other possible conclusion.<br /><br />Except perhaps that he was still in hell.<br /><br />Bah, this was not the time for Igrath Winters to become a defeatist; thank the Spirits and accept your good fortune, you old bird.<br /><br />He figured it was about time to announce his return.<br /><br />The sound of wheels had died while the jostling of bottles increased in decibel.&nbsp;&nbsp;There were no other nearby noises, indicating that there was only one other person in the room and the use of a medical cart suggested that they were not a patient.<br /><br />Running through the small list of likely candidates, Igrath settled on saying something suitably manly and suave in an off-hand manner.<br /><br />He opened his beak, but instead of a badass quip he produced a strangled groan as he threw up a weary hand to his side, the dull ache in his side unexpectedly rocketing upwards in intensity.<br /><br /><em>Ow.</em><br /><br />A gasp - female - accompanied the <em>tiks</em> and <em>taks</em> of a bottle being juggled in startled hands, ending in a single <em>clink</em> as it was carelessly returned to the cart.<br /><br />Before he could regain his composure, something light and lithe slammed into his throbbing side with surprising force, driving what little air he had out of his abused lungs.<br /><br /><em>``&iexcl;Gracias a los Espiritus!&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />Despite the pain, he couldn&#039;t help but grin down at Digo.&nbsp;&nbsp;After all these years, he was probably the only Dreamkeeper who could reliably tell her apart from her nearly-identical twin, Indi; it was the subtlest of deviations in pitch that he had picked up during their many (failed) attempts to get into his pants.<br /><br />Judging from the painful tightness of her embrace, this was more than the usual fussiness he inspired in the twins whenever he so much as scraped a knee - his injuries must have been truly dire.&nbsp;&nbsp;He once again questioned how he could have possibly survived.<br /><br />Gingerly, so as to neither hurt her nor strain his injured limbs, he wrapped an arm around her and returned the hug.<br /><br />``Igrath... I&#039;m so... You&#039;re...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Her voice was shaky, but she was not in tears, a good sign.<br /><br />She pressed her face into his fur, holding him for several seconds.<br /><br />With the pain, it was difficult to think of something to say.&nbsp;&nbsp;He settled for silence, waiting for her to make the next move.<br /><br />Digo slowly disentangled herself from his arm and stood by his bed.<br /><br />For a moment there was no sound; he patiently waited for her to speak.<br /><br />A quiet <em>swish</em> evolved into an abrupt little <em>pap</em> across his left ear.&nbsp;&nbsp;He flinched - it was barely a tap, but it still stung.<br /><br />``You stupid, irresponsible, <em>pendejo!&#039;</em>&#039;<br /><br />He held up his arms, both to placate the fiery woman and to defend himself if need be.<br /><br />``Digo,&#039;&#039; he croaked, muscling his way past his sore throat, ``calm - ``<br /><br />``You almost <em>died!</em>&#039;&#039; she shouted.&nbsp;&nbsp;``Don&#039;t you realize how important you are to me - to us - ``<br /><br />She fumbled a bit, losing some of her steam.&nbsp;&nbsp;He tried to hold back a smirk.<br /><br />`` - I-I mean the Troika, the cause!&nbsp;&nbsp;We almost lost our top commander!&nbsp;&nbsp;Don&#039;t you know how much damage that would cause?&nbsp;&nbsp;We might&#039;ve never been able to recover!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />His smirk morphed into a good-natured grin as he finally wrestled control over his voice.<br /><br />``It&#039;s good to hear your voice, Digo.&nbsp;&nbsp;And thank you for caring.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She faltered.<br /><br />``Um, well, don&#039;t you forget it,&#039;&#039; she finished lamely.<br /><br />He couldn&#039;t help but chuckle.<br /><br />The chuckle turned into a gasp as a jolt ran up his spine.<br /><br />Immediately he felt her small hands on his arm.<br /><br />``I&#039;m fine, I&#039;m fine!&nbsp;&nbsp;Just sore - that&#039;s all.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />In the silence, he imagined an incredulous glare on her face.<br /><br /><em>``Really!&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />Cutting things off before she could start fussing over him, he dropped his grin and switched to a serious tone.<br /><br />``Digo... what happened?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />There was a brief pause.<br /><br />She then sighed and began to explain.<br /><br />``You were ambushed, a mixture of Sandmen, a few greater Nightmares, and some Dark DKs.&nbsp;&nbsp;According to Bobby, a certain someone&#039;s quick and intelligent military direction turned the tables on the putas.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He remembered his ears tingling, sensing something oily sliding over grass.<br /><br />``Was anyone - ?&#039;&#039;<br /><br /><em>``No, no!</em>&nbsp;&nbsp;Everybody&#039;s fine!&nbsp;&nbsp;No casualties, nada.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />His brow furrowed.<br /><br />``But I heard screams.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``I didn&#039;t say there weren&#039;t any injuries.&nbsp;&nbsp;Bast got stabbed in the arm, Bobby&#039;s right leg got turned into a pincushion with all these little quills from one of the Nightmares, Whip somehow got one to his knee - it only got the skin, removed it easily, and Woods lost an antler, pobre chico. What else?&nbsp;&nbsp;Lots of lacerations, a few minor springer wounds - ``<br /><br />``I was shot with a Mark III,&#039;&#039; he interjected, ``far too many times to be friendly fire.&nbsp;&nbsp;How&#039;d the enemy get their hands on it?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Oh, that.&nbsp;&nbsp;One of the Dark DK&#039;s scalded Karo&#039;s hands with a jet of boiling water - a Power.&nbsp;&nbsp;He dropped the rifle and that DK took it.&nbsp;&nbsp;He&#039;s awfully sorry by the way.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``So - ``<br /><br />``<em>Nothing</em> permanent, Igrath.&nbsp;&nbsp;As you can hear, there&#039;s no one else in the infirmary right now - they all recovered just fine, thanks to you.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He breathed a sigh of relief.<br /><em><br />Thank the stars.</em><br /><br />He lay back against the pillows, tension rolling off his shoulders.<br /><br />``Digo...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />A subtle scraping of cloth indicated a change in her posture, responding to his change in tone.<br /><br />``How did I survive?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He could hear her shift her weight on her feet, nervous, or perhaps just uncomfortable with the recollection.<br /><br />``You almost didn&#039;t,&#039;&#039; she said after a few moments.&nbsp;&nbsp;``Even after we got the bullets out, you didn&#039;t wake up for a long time; you were out for three days - ``<br /><br />He jerked forwards in shock and instantly regretted it as pain shot through his abdomen.<br /><br /><em>``T-three days?&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />``Igrath!&#039;&#039; she admonished. ``Hold still or you&#039;ll tear your stitches!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``B-but,&#039;&#039; he wheezed as she grabbed his arms, ``how did you - ``<br /><br />``Slow down, big boy. Can&#039;t you guess?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He attempted to frown harder but it only made his forehead ache.<br /><br /><em>``Idiota,&#039;&#039; </em>she scolded with the distinct manner of one rolling their eyes.&nbsp;&nbsp;``I thought you would&#039;ve figured it out by now - it&#039;s obvious!&nbsp;&nbsp;You were - &#039;&#039;<br /><br />They were interrupted by the soft swoosh of curtains as someone entered the infirmary.<br /><br />``!Bien! Here she is now.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />The soft pitter-patter of her feet moved away from his bed.<br /><br />``I&#039;ll just leave you two alone for now - gotta go check on Karo&#039;s bandages.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />The curtain swooshed again and left them in silence.<br /><br />With nothing to go on, he was at a distinct disadvantage, struggling to deduce who was responsible for his miraculous recovery.&nbsp;&nbsp;Did he suffer brain damage or was his mind still muddled from such a long period of unconsciousness?<br /><br />Before he could make any headway, the pitter-pattering returned, just as light and swift as when Digo had charged him.&nbsp;&nbsp;He braced for impact.<br /><br />A small body fell into his waiting arms with a sob, the young woman laying her head against his furry chest.<br /><br />Digo was right - it was obvious.<br /><br />He pulled her into a great big hug, lifting her slender form onto the bed.<br /><br />``Lilith,&#039;&#039; he said softly, ``it&#039;s okay.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;m alright.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;m here.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She snuggled in close to him, face pressed into his side.&nbsp;&nbsp;He felt her tears soak into his fur.&nbsp;&nbsp;He gently stroked her hair, whispering reassurances all the while.<br /><br />For the first time since he woke, he realized how much of a scare he must have given everybody, especially his nieces.&nbsp;&nbsp;He wondered where Namah was, and how she was handling it.<br /><br />Another thought struck him - Lilith had saved his life.<br /><br />He smiled down at her.<br /><br />``Lilith, I&#039;ve heard you&#039;re the one to thank for this.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />The weeping choked off.<br /><br />``You saved my life.&nbsp;&nbsp;Thank you.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She started to tremble in his arms.<br /><br />A strange feeling came over him, his fur trying to stand on end.<br /><em><br />``Nononono, p-please, stoppitpleaseSpiritspleasestoppit!!!&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />And the screams...<br /><br />Something was wrong.<br /><br />Who killed the man with the Mark III?&nbsp;&nbsp;Why did he die like that?&nbsp;&nbsp;It sounded like he was... falling apart... dissolving... <em>decaying...</em><br /><br /><em>Him?</em><br /><br />No, it couldn&#039;t be - it made no sense at all.&nbsp;&nbsp;The bastard wouldn&#039;t save his life and even if he did, why wouldn&#039;t Digo mention it?&nbsp;&nbsp;No, something else had happened.<br /><br />Something was <em>very</em> wrong, and Lilith knew about it.<br /><br />``Lilith...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He felt her stir against him.<br /><br />``Would you help me?&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;d like to go for a walk, outside of the base.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She finally spoke words.<br /><br />``N-no, you can&#039;t!&#039;&#039; she exclaimed in worry.&nbsp;&nbsp;``You&#039;re wounds haven&#039;t healed - you&#039;ll tear your stitches and - ``<br /><br /><em>``Lilith,&#039;</em>&#039; he said forcefully.<br /><br />He slid his claws over her arms up to her hands and grasped them.<br /><br />``Please, I would rather be someplace quiet.&nbsp;&nbsp;Somewhere without... others.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Her tremors subsided somewhat; he took that as a sign of understanding.<br /><br />She hopped off him as he began to move, throwing his legs over the side.&nbsp;&nbsp;He grimaced.&nbsp;&nbsp;The pain was bearable enough for now, but it was better to be safe than sorry.<br /><br />``Erm... Lilith, do you think you can find a cane big enough for me?&#039;&#039; he asked sheepishly.<br /><br /><div class='align_center'>*******</div><br /><br />It was midday - the radiant warmth of the sun felt wonderful, heating his fur and feathers while easing the stiffness in his limbs.<br /><br />Purportedly the view was not quite as wonderful; just an expanse of sand and rock, plain and unassuming, not even an intriguing formation of stone to admire.&nbsp;&nbsp;Of course, he couldn&#039;t corroborate that assessment, but he trusted the source.&nbsp;&nbsp;Regardless, the view was irrelevant at the moment; he just needed to get Lilith away from any prying ears (and eyes).<br /><br />``Think you can find us a good spot to sit?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Sure,&#039;&#039; came her quiet reply.<br /><br />His cane (thank the stars that Scinter made sure they had canes in his size) knocked against the stone with hollow <em>thunks</em> alongside his lumbering <em>thuds </em>and Lilith&#039;s gentle <em>paps</em> as she led him to a raised ledge.&nbsp;&nbsp;Guiding him with her arms, he gingerly sat down on the dusty platform, releasing a sigh of appreciation for the rest.&nbsp;&nbsp;He set the cane down to his left while he patted the rock to his right.<br /><br />Seven <em>paps</em>, the rustle of clothing, and she was situated by his side.<br /><br />They sat there for a minute, letting the rays shine down upon their faces.<br /><br />His ears twitched, searching for any indication of eavesdroppers.&nbsp;&nbsp;Finally confident that they were truly alone, he reached over and took her hand in his, the delicate little thing swallowed by his monstrous paws.<br /><br />``Lilith, I want you to tell me everything, if you can.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;ll just listen, if you want me to.&nbsp;&nbsp;But don&#039;t be afraid and don&#039;t leave anything out.&nbsp;&nbsp;I promise, it will get better once you get it off your chest and, if it&#039;s okay with you, I&#039;ll do my best to help if I can.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He gave her fingers a firm yet gentle squeeze.<br /><br />``Okay?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She was silent for a good thirty seconds before she responded.<br /><br />``Okay.&#039;&#039;<br /><br /><div class='align_center'>*******</div><br /><br /><em>I guess I&#039;ll start with the ambush... I mean, it&#039;s the natural place to start.&nbsp;&nbsp;You know everything before that.&nbsp;&nbsp;Stupid, of course you did - you were leading it.<br /><br />Um, sorry, I...<br /><br />I remember hearing your shout and suddenly there was... stuff flying everywhere, trees exploding all around.<br /><br />Bast immediately shoved me down, trying to protect me.<br /><br />I felt... angry, just a little bit.&nbsp;&nbsp;I understood why he did it, but I couldn&#039;t help but feel... annoyed? I guess I was just tired of being treated like some damsel in distress.&nbsp;&nbsp;Doesn&#039;t really matter, not now anyways...<br /><br />Something with glowing eyes - a Sandman, one of the smaller ones - leapt from a tree, right toward us.&nbsp;&nbsp;Bast tried shooting it out of the air with his Power, but he only glanced it.&nbsp;&nbsp;It slammed into him, knocking him off me.&nbsp;&nbsp;I saw it stab one of its... f-fingers right into his arm.<br /><br />I panicked.<br /><br />I grabbed for the springer, the one you gave me.&nbsp;&nbsp;Still wasn&#039;t very good at the range, but you insisted... especially since you were so... so angry that I got Scinter to let me and the others come, even though you...<br /><br />B-but this time I got it right.&nbsp;&nbsp;Shot it through the eye - the glow just vanished and the thing fell over, limp like a doll.<br /><br />I was paralyzed by shock, but it didn&#039;t last long.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was just a puppet... it wasn&#039;t...<br /><br />It was... not a-a-alive...<br /><br />Bast was alright.&nbsp;&nbsp;I think he was kind of... surprised at what I did.&nbsp;&nbsp;I almost forgot that he wasn&#039;t there when I... with the Nightmare in the... Tower...<br /><br />...<br /><br />..........<br /><br />...............sorry...um...<br /><br />Anyways, he never really saw me like t-that before... but that doesn&#039;t matter at all, why am I...?<br /><br />...I heard your voice, shouting orders in our ears, guess we just forgot about the earpieces for a moment there.<br /><br />You were pulling everyone back, around one of the battle wagons, the poor knossus pulling it was already...<br /><br />...so we ran to you, Bobby and the others covering us.&nbsp;&nbsp;I think I dropped the springer at this point, I guess I was just so freaked out that I forgot all about it.<br /><br />Everyone else was already there, Namah and Kalei, Mace and Whip... you were keeping Mace and Whip back while Kalei was helping the others hold the... line?&nbsp;&nbsp;I also think you were trying to get Namah back too, but she - of course she did - she was keeping well out of your reach, blasting Sandmen with those pink whips of hers.<br /><br />Suddenly this huge Nightmare, all wings and c-claws, just swooped down on us, but Bast was there and it was too big for him to miss.&nbsp;&nbsp;It caught fire, like it was made of paper, its wings shriveling up and disintegrating into little flakes...<br /><br />But it fell right into the wagon, knocking off... I&#039;m so sorry, I forgot his name... he&#039;s the blackish one with red... um, the one with the blue halo... or was it orange?&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;m sorry, I just can&#039;t remember... but he flew off the big cannon - the MCP.<br /><br />One of the bigger Sandmen and a Dreamkeeper tried to push through, to take advantage of the chaos, and then you just... bellowed and charged right into them and you...<br /><br />But right after that, this other Dreamkeeper - he had snuck around from behind - he jumped out and hit Karo with a blast of boiling water and steam.<br /><br />Karo s-screamed and dropped his springer... the Dreamkeeper kicked Karo in the groin and took the gun and... a-a-and he p-pointed i-it at y-y-you...<br /><br />...<br /><br />........<br /><br />...Bast was exhausted, I d-didn&#039;t know where Namah was, I&#039;d lost the springer, and everyone else was...<br /><br />I could only watch as he f-fired at you over and over...<br /><br />...but it looked like you were fine, that your Power, your resilience was protecting you, the bullets just bouncing off your arms...<br /><br />You ran toward him, but I saw... he was just so fast, he had his Power up, yellow, I figured that part of it made him faster...?<br /><br />He already had picked up another magazine from Karo and he knew how the gun worked - he switched them out and then he - <br /><br />H-he had this... </em>grin,<em> this sadistic s-smile as he...<br /><br />I thought your resilience could hold out, but I could already see you were exhausted and it was at point blank range...<br /><br />...I saw the first few bullets bounce away, but then...<br /><br />.......<br /><br />I s-saw it a-a-all... every... i-impact... e-very s-s-sp-sp-spurt...<br /><br />Dear Spirits, it was like little bits of you were ex-exploding, blood g-gushing out of every hole, little bits of metal slicing and, and tearing you apart!<br /><br />He was ripping you to pieces and all I could do was f-f-fucking watch!<br /><br />...y-you w-were d-d-dying...<br /><br />...Spirits, I was about to lose you.<br /><br />I couldn&#039;t...<br /><br />Then he was out of ammo and I thought it was over but he just kept that d-damn grin going and reached down to pluck another magazine off the ground and he was putting it in and eager to fire one last shot or maybe he wanted to shred your corpse into little pieces, just blast you to bits and there was no one, NO ONE else, just me watching you die and - <br /><br />I was so, so angry, at him, at myself, at everybody...<br /><br />...he had reloaded and was... was about to fire, so...<br /><br />After mom left, after what dad has done... you and Namah are all I have left.<br /><br />So I reached out and... and...<br /><br />At first, he just stopped, a little confused... then his arms started to sag, like the gun was suddenly too heavy for him.<br /><br />He was blinking a lot, like he was getting tired.&nbsp;&nbsp;He kept trying to raise the springer, but he just couldn&#039;t.<br /><br />Then he saw m-my... the light.<br /><br />He followed it with his eyes, I saw him do that - they led right to me, my fingers pointing right at him.<br /><br />He - he was angry, face screwed up in a snarl.&nbsp;&nbsp;And I thought...<br /><br />I thought, how dare he, h-how d-d-dare he be angry at me after what he did.<br /><br />It made even a-angrier, I was f-furious.<br /><br />I... I </em>pushed.<em><br /><br />That&#039;s w-w-when h-he s-st-started sc-sc-screaming...<br /><br />W-when I d-did it to B-Bast, it was j-just an a-accident a-a-and, he l-looked d-drained and l-l-lifeless, but o-otherwise he was...<br /><br />B-but on S-Starfall, with t-that big t-thing, it f-f-fell apa-apart, e-everything just f-fell o-out... a-and that was an a-accident, t-t-too...<br /><br />H-he started b-bl-ble... bleeding from e-everywhere... his eyes, his m-mouth, l-little t-t-tears that appeared on his sk-skin, l-like it was o-old and r-rotten...<br /><br />T-then his arm, Spirits, his arm f-f-fell off, the w-weight of the g-g-g-gun r-r-ripping it o-off...<br /><br />A-and the b-b-blood s-sprayed f-f-from the shoulder and he b-began to b-b-b-beg but I, but I, but...<br /><br />I wanted him to hurt!&nbsp;&nbsp;I wanted him to suffer!&nbsp;&nbsp;I hated him and I wanted him to die!<br /><br />I kept pushing and pushing and he was shrinking and melting into a puddle and I kept on going and he kept begging and begging and telling me to please stop and I ignored it and kept going - <br /><br />Spirits, his head finally just SNAPPED off under its own weight, falling to the ground and EXPLODING, pieces of brain and bone flying everywhere and one of his eyes, his EYE rolled over and STARED at me and I could still hear him screaming even though I knew he was dead and - and - a-a-and - <br /><br />...<br /><br />..........<br /><br />...............sorry, I&#039;m - I&#039;m sorry, I&#039;ll be fine...<br /><br />What am I saying?<br /><br />I&#039;m not fine.<br /><br />I don&#039;t think I&#039;ll ever be...<br /><br />...after...that...I ran to you, but you were already un-unconscious and I thought you m-might have already - <br /><br />But I thought no, I wouldn&#039;t accept that.<br /><br />After I...l-leeched that D-Dreamkeeper d-d-dry, I was... high on his energy, his l-l-life, I felt like I was glowing, like I could do anything.<br /><br />So I reached out to y-you... you were... torn almost in h-half...<br /><br />B-but it worked, it w-was al-almost too easy, because I had so much to give...<br /><br />I didn&#039;t extract the b-bullets though; my Power couldn&#039;t do that, so when we brought you back, they had to perform surgery on you, c-cut out the bullets, that&#039;s why you&#039;re all stitched up and in p-pain right now.&nbsp;&nbsp;I was so tired afterwards that nobody would let me heal you; they thought it would h-hurt me if I tried so soon after...<br /><br />I&#039;m - <br /><br />...<br /><br />I&#039;m... glad that you are alive.&nbsp;&nbsp;Really.<br /><br />Oh, why am I saying such stupid things? Of course I am, what kind of person would I be - <br /><br />That&#039;s it, isn&#039;t it?<br /><br /></em>Isn&#039;t it!?<em><br /><br />What kind of Dreamkeeper am I, to just murder someone like t-that and not f-feel a thing until - <br /><br />N-no, I did feel something.<br /><br />I was glad, I was happy, happy that I killed that man, happy that he suffered!<br /><br />How could I?&nbsp;&nbsp;How could I!?<br /><br />I don&#039;t know who I am anymore!<br /><br />Who am I?<br /><br /></em>What<em> am I?</em><br /><br /><div class='align_center'>*******</div><br /><br />She was no longer sobbing.<br /><br />She had long since freed her hand from his, leaving him with only her voice.<br /><br />Now, Lilith merely sat there, silent.<br /><br />The stillness was reminiscent of the void that suffocated him when he was dying.<br /><br /><em>You poor child.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;m so sorry.</em><br /><br />His arm lifted upwards in an attempt to reach around her and hug her body to his, but he resisted the impulse, the arm falling to his side.<br /><br />``Lilith, how much have I told you about when I was a police officer in Norvondire?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She started when he broke the silence, her bottom softly <em>thapping</em> the stone when she jumped.<br /><br />``I - I w-what?&#039;&#039; she stammered, confused by the sudden change in subject.&nbsp;&nbsp;``I mean, n-not much?&nbsp;&nbsp;Nothing at all, actually.&nbsp;&nbsp;Why - ?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He held up a hand to quiet her.&nbsp;&nbsp;Distraught as she was, she relented.<br /><br />``Before I ever became Guard Captain, before I was even a common Safety Trooper, I was a cop.&nbsp;&nbsp;All Troopers were selected from among standard law enforcement - there was no other way to join.&nbsp;&nbsp;With my fame as Fallguard Champion, the wheels were already greased a tad, but not by much.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was my skill and excellent arrest record that ended my brief career as a police officer and launched me into the ranks of the Troopers.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He had never thought he would tell either of his nieces this story.&nbsp;&nbsp;There shouldn&#039;t have been any reason to.&nbsp;&nbsp;But now he could see where the world was heading and there was no way that he could ever fully protect them from it.<br /><br />Hopefully fate would be kinder to her than it ever was to him.<br /><br />``There was a certain set of requirements a regular officer must meet before being considered as a Trooper candidate.&nbsp;&nbsp;They were fairly obvious: ``loyalty, bravery under fire, professionalism, and protocol.&#039;&#039;&nbsp;&nbsp;I had demonstrated three of those qualities in ample amounts during my first few months with a badge.&nbsp;&nbsp;Unfortunately, an opportunity to demonstrate the fourth had yet to present itself.&nbsp;&nbsp;The one I am talking about is ``bravery under fire.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />All of my arrests went smoothly, any armed suspects were either talked into surrendering, easily disarmed and subdued by a simple charge, or merely intimidated by my size.&nbsp;&nbsp;Norvondire, while not perfect, was in a slump when it came to springer crimes and gang violence.&nbsp;&nbsp;There were no spontaneous shoot-outs and anything major in other districts were handled by local law enforcement and if they couldn&#039;t handle it, the Troopers were sent in.<br /><br />Fate refused to give me a chance to prove myself.<br /><br />One day that changed.<br /><br />A Calypsan crimelord known as Gabriel Yarrow had been slowly snaking his way into Norvondire, unnoticed by City Central Authority for months.&nbsp;&nbsp;Thanks to a firm reign on his men and his clients, as well as a complete lack of meaningful competition, he managed to fine tune his operation and so eliminate major violent crime wherever he took root.&nbsp;&nbsp;He was invisible.<br /><br />That was until a rival caught wind of his little enterprise and decided to muscle his way in.&nbsp;&nbsp;Things got nasty, fast.<br /><br />In fact, they got nasty when I was knocking on the door of a suspect in a weapons smuggling case I was investigating.&nbsp;&nbsp;The suspect happened to be in the employ of Yarrow and it was just my luck that the rival had sent thugs to take him out.&nbsp;&nbsp;Even better, Yarrow had just gotten wind of the hit and therefore a squad of his own thugs were already on their way to protect their asset.<br /><br />It was a perfect example of comedic timing - both bands came around from opposite sides of the street, and there I was, just about to knock on the guy&#039;s door.&nbsp;&nbsp;We all stood there for a full minute, just blinking at each other like a bunch of idiots, before one side drew a springer and fired the first shot.<br /><br />All hell broke loose as expected, bullets flying every which way and that, bits of wood, plaster, and stone exploding and flying about.&nbsp;&nbsp;I ducked into an alcove and contacted my station chief over my radio, informing him of the situation and requesting backup.&nbsp;&nbsp;He told me to hold my position and not to engage the shooters; the Safety Troopers were coming to handle the situation.<br /><br />I grew angry, infuriated that a chance to prove myself had served itself to me on a silver platter and then my superiors had decided to hand it off to the Big Boys.<br /><br />Right then and there, I decided enough was enough and resolved myself to joining the melee.<br /><br />If I would&#039;ve committed myself at that moment, I would probably be dead right now, torn to pieces in the crossfire.<br /><br />Instead, both groups abruptly broke up and fled.&nbsp;&nbsp;I quickly guessed that at least one side had a source in the CCA who alerted them to the incoming Troopers.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was the perfect opportunity - they were retreating, possibly disorganized.&nbsp;&nbsp;I knew that I couldn&#039;t catch them all, but if I could get ahold of at least one for interrogation, then I would most certainly be commended for my initiative.<br /><br />I was being incredibly stupid.<br /><br />I ran after Yarrow&#039;s group as they ducked into an alley.<br /><br />By some luck, they had not seen me give chase and were completely unprepared to see a Fallguard star come barreling around the corner.&nbsp;&nbsp;I slammed into the first man before anyone could react, throwing him into the stone wall and knocking him out cold.&nbsp;&nbsp;The others made the mistake of stopping and turning around to confront me.<br /><br />They drew their weapons, but were far too slow.&nbsp;&nbsp;I used my impressive size to maximum effect, tearing springers from broken fingers, delivering devastating blows to soft stomachs, and even knocking a couple of heads together like in a Saturday morning cartoon.&nbsp;&nbsp;Despite my ferocity, my blows were carefully measured; most of them were injured, sure, but nothing fatal.<br /><br />However, there was this one guy - young, a little similar to a raptor, but covered in thick cream-colored fur.&nbsp;&nbsp;He must&#039;ve been a hit with the ladies.&nbsp;&nbsp;He was also the smartest; as soon as he saw me, he didn&#039;t stay and fight - he ran.<br /><br />While I was busy with his pals, he was making his way around the next corner, exiting the alley onto a major thoroughfare.&nbsp;&nbsp;Me and my damn ego, I just couldn&#039;t let one go.&nbsp;&nbsp;After giving a cursory inspection of the others, to ensure that they were indeed down, I gave chase.<br /><br />I may seem unwieldly and slow, but anyone who&#039;s seen my matches are intimately familiar with just how fast I can sprint.&nbsp;&nbsp;I was confident that I could catch up to him.&nbsp;&nbsp;I rounded the corner and almost ran right into an incoming groundcar.<br /><br />I deftly dodged around the knossus pulling it and saw the guy about twenty feet down the street.&nbsp;&nbsp;His Power was active, the halo a faint teal color, and it apparently allowed him to, well, float.<br /><br />Ah, scratch that.&nbsp;&nbsp;Not exactly.&nbsp;&nbsp;More like he could step on air, somewhat.&nbsp;&nbsp;He would push down and his foot would stop just above the ground, sinking a bit like there was an invisible pillow there.&nbsp;&nbsp;He would shove off and gain a bit more height, his next footfall stopping at an even higher elevation.&nbsp;&nbsp;It wasn&#039;t enough to get to the rooftops, and he couldn&#039;t maintain maximum height for long, but it allowed him to glide and hover around the various Dreamkeepers, stalls, carts, and the occasional groundcar.<br /><br />Now my bulk was a liability, but I more than made up for it with my vast experience in dodging tackles.&nbsp;&nbsp;I weaved and danced through the traffic and between shopping stalls, closing in on my prey.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was actually fun - if it wasn&#039;t for the exertion of the chase, I would&#039;ve been laughing.<br /><br />He was tiring.&nbsp;&nbsp;I could see it.&nbsp;&nbsp;His halo was fading, his height dropping, constantly throwing panicked looks over his shoulder.<br /><br />I had him.<br /><br />Then he pulled his gun.<br /><br />I was a big target and he had a height advantage, but we were also both moving.<br /><br />It was a simple breech-load model, two barrels stacked vertically, one of the older ones you see, accurate only at close range.<br /><br />He fired both shots.<br /><br />I was callously charging between a small family at the time.<br /><br />The first round caught the father in his right arm.<br /><br />The second went through the eye of his thirteen year-old girl.<br /><br />I don&#039;t remember her face - I wasn&#039;t paying attention at the time and I even when I looked at her photo afterwards, my mind would only show me a gaping black hole next to a green eye, surprised and wreathed in red.<br /><br />You know I have never had children, and you and Namah weren&#039;t born yet, so I had nothing remotely close to compare to.&nbsp;&nbsp;I didn&#039;t know what it means to be a father, what it means to have a child of my own.<br /><br />But I saw the look on that man&#039;s face, and I knew.<br /><br />What I felt... I only felt it twice since then.<br /><br />I felt it when I... when I - ``<br /><br />He stopped there, wrestling with his emotions.&nbsp;&nbsp;It wouldn&#039;t do her any good if he broke down.<br /><br />Swallowing back tears, he managed to regain his composure and continued.<br /><br />``...When I found... Fae... and when I saw you two beneath the tower.<br /><br />I made up my mind right then and there.<br /><br />I was going to kill him.<br /><br />You have never seen me truly angry, angry enough to scream like some ravenous animal.&nbsp;&nbsp;I learned better self-control in the years afterward.&nbsp;&nbsp;But at that moment, that is what I did - I charged at him, screaming in rage.<br /><br />Exhausted and terrified, his halo disappeared and he fell into the dirt.<br /><br />Everybody nearby had already moved out of the way, scared off by the springer shots; he was out in the open, nowhere to go.<br /><br />Even with my speed, he had already fished out a single shell from his pockets and was in the process of shoving it into the breech with trembling fingers.<br /><br />I wouldn&#039;t have made it in time.&nbsp;&nbsp;So I drew my own weapon.<br /><br />I never really used it except as a threat.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was a bulky thing, one of the rarer, specially made models for officers with larger hands.&nbsp;&nbsp;The manufacturer thought it a waste to simply make the normal pistol&#039;s grip larger without taking advantage of the greater strength I offered.&nbsp;&nbsp;Regulations forbid calibers above a certain size, but they allowed for the addition of more barrels.&nbsp;&nbsp;Magazine-fed pistols weren&#039;t in production at the time, so the only way to increase the number of rounds you could fire was by increasing the number of barrels.&nbsp;&nbsp;Mine had four.<br /><br />It was big, it was intimidating, unwieldly, and butt-ugly.&nbsp;&nbsp;I had never fired it outside of the range.<br /><br />I was a few feet away when his springer came up, one barrel loaded, pointed straight at my face.<br /><br />I was faster.<br /><br />I remember the sight to this day, his head snapping back, the back of his head bursting apart into flying shards of bone and bits of brain.<br /><br />I had shot him right through his eye.<br /><br />He was the first Dreamkeeper that I had ever killed.<br /><br />He would not be the last.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He paused for rest.&nbsp;&nbsp;His voice had started to grow hoarse; in the back of his mind he wished he had something to drink.<br /><br />He swallowed, the dry tissue of his throat scraping like sandpaper.<br /><br />``I... I got exactly what I wanted.&nbsp;&nbsp;Despite technically being a breach of protocol, my superiors congratulated me on my initiative and my skill, which resulted in the capture of several known felons.&nbsp;&nbsp;The information gleaned from their interrogations were integral to the eventual downfall of Gabriel Yarrow.<br /><br />The media had a field day, especially with... her.&nbsp;&nbsp;The headline read `Daring Police Officer Avenges 12-Year-Old Girl.&#039;&nbsp;&nbsp;They called me a hero.&nbsp;&nbsp;At her funeral, her father, arm in a sling, told me that I wasn&#039;t to blame for her death, and thanked me for making sure her killer paid for it.<br /><br />The praise of my superiors and the media attention helped push my career forward, helping ensure my eventual admission into the ranks of the Anduruna Safety Troopers.<br /><br />I would have liked to say that it was her face that haunted my dreams.<br /><br />Instead, for many nights after, I relived that man dying over and over and over.<br /><br />I was horrified by what I had done.<br /><br />I was terrified of myself.<br /><br />All it took was a single instant of raw rage and suddenly I was perfectly willing and able to end someone else&#039;s life.&nbsp;&nbsp;I didn&#039;t spare a moment to question what I was thinking, what I was planning to do.&nbsp;&nbsp;I didn&#039;t hesitate to condemn that man, didn&#039;t hesitate to take on the roles of judge, jury, and executioner.<br /><br />I didn&#039;t hesitate to put a bullet through his brain.<br /><br />And, worst of all, in those few seconds just after his body hit the ground, when I was standing over his corpse, I didn&#039;t feel shock or horror or regret.&nbsp;&nbsp;But neither was I numb.<br /><br />Instead, I felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction.<br /><br />For years, I had nightmares of that moment.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She was very still, giving him nothing with which to judge her reaction to his words.<br /><br />It was a while before she finally spoke.<br /><br />``How did you make them stop?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Her voice was tiny, a faint tremor barely detectable.<br /><br />He hesitated.<br /><br />``Well... I...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He frowned.&nbsp;&nbsp;He hadn&#039;t given consideration towards what he would say after his story.<br /><br />The nightmares, at least the ones about that man, had indeed stopped.&nbsp;&nbsp;But how does he put the `why&#039; into words?&nbsp;&nbsp;It was so gradual that it took him a while to even notice that they had stopped, much less examine the reason why.<br /><br />He sighed.<br /><br />He had to try something.&nbsp;&nbsp;Maybe it would help him understand as well.<br /><br />``Lilith...&#039;&#039; he tentatively began, ``there are plenty of good reasons for why people abhor the act of killing.&nbsp;&nbsp;Unlike any other act of theft or destruction, killing takes away the one thing in the Dreamworld that can never be truly replaced.&nbsp;&nbsp;What killing takes can never be given back.&nbsp;&nbsp;Because of this, there have been a lot of argument about the nature of killing.<br /><br />Some say that the act itself is unnatural, a crime regardless of the who, how, or why.&nbsp;&nbsp;It seems make sense.&nbsp;&nbsp;Life is natural and killing is the negation of life, so wouldn&#039;t it make sense that it be unnatural?&nbsp;&nbsp;At the very least, as the one irreplaceable thing in this world, it should be a crime of the highest order, to take away something so precious.<br /><br />Forgive me for my callousness, but that is bullshit.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She jolted slightly, though it was likely just due to the unexpected vulgarity.<br /><br />``That line of thinking implies that even when faced with a person unquestionably evil, a horrible murderer who is about to kill you or, worse, the ones you love, killing such a creature in self-defense makes you just as evil.&nbsp;&nbsp;There are even those that take it to even greater extremes and say that any kind of defense is evil, claiming that even the tiniest act of violence is a crime.<br /><br />Clearly those who support such a philosophy have never had their life threatened or seen their loved ones held at the point of a gun.<br /><br />Then what about something less extreme?&nbsp;&nbsp;Sure, there are those that deserve to die, but shouldn&#039;t that be up to a court, a judge and jury?&nbsp;&nbsp;Is it not dangerous to allow a common individual the power to judge the guilt of another and carry out a sentence, especially if they decide the sentence to be death?<br /><br />That concept makes a little more sense.&nbsp;&nbsp;History is replete with examples of punishments not fitting the crime, of individuals and mobs taking justice into their own hands and wrongfully punishing those that they hate or fear.&nbsp;&nbsp;The idea is that by putting the power of judgement into the hands of a specially selected and trained few, it would reduce the chances of punishing those who did not deserve it.<br /><br />But that is just a pragmatic approach to governing a society and keeping peace.&nbsp;&nbsp;It has nothing to do with the truth.&nbsp;&nbsp;Guilt is guilt - an act of evil doesn&#039;t need the ruling of a jury to be evil.&nbsp;&nbsp;A guilty person is guilty by committing the crime, not because he was convicted by a court of law.&nbsp;&nbsp;If an individual judges and punishes a guilty party appropriately, he has done no wrong, has not violated any rights.&nbsp;&nbsp;A criminal is such because he violates another&#039;s rights and in penalty loses rights in proportion to those he violated.&nbsp;&nbsp;When it comes to the irrevocable, unforgiveable act of murder, all rights are forfeited.&nbsp;&nbsp;It is preposterous to punish someone who takes the life of a murderer just because some group of random people judge the murderer guilty.<br /><br />I am not talking about ambiguous cases here, where the judgement might be in error, where the guilt is uncertain.<br /><br />The man I killed and the one you...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He hesitated, throat tight.&nbsp;&nbsp;He decided to move on without finishing that statement.<br /><br />``There was no doubt about their intent and what they had done.&nbsp;&nbsp;That man had killed a child right before my eyes; the other was a Dark Dreamkeeper, aligned with an enemy intent on total domination, if not total destruction, of our world.&nbsp;&nbsp;Both were prepared to kill to get what they wanted.<br /><br />They were not just guilty, but an active and obvious threat to ourselves and those we care about.<br /><br />How could anyone fault us for saving ourselves?&nbsp;&nbsp;How could anyone fault us for protecting our friends?&nbsp;&nbsp;Our family?<br /><br />And... just because we... because we... felt...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He started to fumble with his words.<br /><br />What the hell was he saying?&nbsp;&nbsp;Where was he going with this?<br /><br />Would this even help?<br /><br />He was supposed to be comforting her, not bombarding her with a long-winded lecture!<br /><br />And even though his nightmares were long gone, the doubts had never really left.<br /><br />It was easy to order the deaths of the enemy from afar, their crimes neatly tallied and judgement passed.&nbsp;&nbsp;He never lost sleep over the likes of them; they were a known, quantified threat and he had absolute confidence that their deaths were justified.<br /><br />It was also easy to kill Nightmares.&nbsp;&nbsp;They weren&#039;t Dreamkeeper, not even animal; they were unnatural, foreign invaders with a clear intent to either enslave or kill every Dreamkeeper alive.&nbsp;&nbsp;He felt no guilt ending their lives.<br /><br />Even against a Dark Dreamkeeper, he gave no mercy.&nbsp;&nbsp;As he said, they were aligned with the enemy; that in of itself spoke volumes about their guilt.<br /><br />He never had trouble justifying his deeds.<br /><br />But there was a difference between a cold-blooded killing and... what he sometimes did.&nbsp;&nbsp;Scinter was an expert at pragmatic killing, no emotional attachment to the act, only an objective justification and then he had it carried out with cold efficiency.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was not a matter of glory or of satisfaction, only necessity.&nbsp;&nbsp;He tried so hard to mimic that level of detachment, but occasionally he would feel... <em>it</em> on the battlefield, where his own hands dealt the killing blow.<br /><br />Then he would question himself.&nbsp;&nbsp;He would question whether all those justifications really mattered to him, in that moment, fighting for his life against the enemy.&nbsp;&nbsp;He would then wonder if, deep down, he ever needed a reason to kill.<br /><br />The last question would always come back to haunt him, the one that truly gave him nightmares.<br /><br />Am I a monster?<br /><br />That... that was what Lilith was asking herself.<br /><br />``What I&#039;m trying to say...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She should never have come to him.<br /><br />No, it wasn&#039;t her fault - he should never have tried.&nbsp;&nbsp;She knows him as her uncle, caring, brave, and kind.&nbsp;&nbsp;She didn&#039;t know him as the killer he was.<br /><br />``...I...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />How could he even begin to help her when he couldn&#039;t even help himself?<br /><br />He choked off, swallowing, mouth moving but nothing coming out.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was becoming harder to remain calm, the tumultuous storm of emotions starting to break free of his control.&nbsp;&nbsp;He tried to hold it back, tried not to show it, afraid of how it will affect her in this state.<br /><br />He...<br /><br />...maybe it was time for it to be let out.<br /><br />He abruptly stood, wounds flaring in aggravation.<br /><br />Stiffly, he turned and knelt before her, taking her hands in his.<br /><br />Her hands were still... they were so small, he felt like he was going to break them in his gigantic claws.&nbsp;&nbsp;These hands are...<br /><br />``Lilith... I&#039;m sorry.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He heard a sharp intake of breath.<br /><br />``I... you should have never been put in a situation where... you would have to make a decision like that.&nbsp;&nbsp;It&#039;s my fault that this happened to you.&nbsp;&nbsp;I should have taken you and Namah from that tower years ago.&nbsp;&nbsp;Damn Scinter and Nainso and damn their plans - they know nothing of family.&nbsp;&nbsp;I should never have waited.<br /><br />But now it&#039;s too late and I&#039;m still trying to shield you from it all and...&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;m a fool for thinking that I can.&nbsp;&nbsp;You&#039;re a part of it all now.&nbsp;&nbsp;Even if I took you two away, far away, far from everything, they will find you.&nbsp;&nbsp;And I know that you wouldn&#039;t want to run anyway.<br /><br />I&#039;m sorry - I take the blame for all of this.<br /><br />And... don&#039;t you <em>dare</em> feel sorry, not one bit, especially not for him.<br /><br /><em>You are not a monster.</em><br /><br />You&#039;re the kindest, gentlest soul this world has ever seen.&nbsp;&nbsp;These hands are the hands of a healer, of a savior.&nbsp;&nbsp;You&#039;re a hero.<br /><br />You should <em>not</em> feel ashamed for what you did.&nbsp;&nbsp;You felt fear that I would die.&nbsp;&nbsp;Not wrong.&nbsp;&nbsp;You felt anger at the man who was going to kill me.&nbsp;&nbsp;Not wrong.&nbsp;&nbsp;You killed that man.&nbsp;&nbsp;Not wrong.&nbsp;&nbsp;You made him suffer.&nbsp;&nbsp;<em>Not wrong.&nbsp;&nbsp;You saved my life.</em>&nbsp;&nbsp;I don&#039;t care how you did it, it was <em>not wrong.</em><br /><br /><em>It was right.</em><br /><br />And Spirits be damned, I am grateful for it!<br /><br />You saved a life and harmed a wicked man in the process.&nbsp;&nbsp;Dammit, it&#039;s not like his guilt was in question!&nbsp;&nbsp;What cruel bastard would ever condemn you for this?<br /><br />And... just because you felt... satisfaction at his suffering, that doesn&#039;t change who you are.<br /><br /><em>I know you.</em>&nbsp;&nbsp;Namah knows you.&nbsp;&nbsp;Your friends know you.<br /><br />If they were here right now, they would agree with me:&nbsp;&nbsp;you are a good person.<br /><br />I mean... what?&nbsp;&nbsp;You think that because of this, you&#039;ll suddenly change your personality?&nbsp;&nbsp;Go against everything you have ever believed in?&nbsp;&nbsp;Become some psycho murderer?&nbsp;&nbsp;Completely negate the very core of who you are?&nbsp;&nbsp;Do you really think that you are now capable of hurting the ones you loved?&nbsp;&nbsp;Do you really think you might spontaneously seek out innocents and torture them for... what?&nbsp;&nbsp;Kicks?<br /><br />Honestly, do you actually see that happening?&nbsp;&nbsp;I don&#039;t.&nbsp;&nbsp;<em>I know it won&#039;t.</em><br /><br />That&#039;s because <em>I believe in you, Lilith.</em><br /><br />And I know that everyone else does, too.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />His voice was breaking, practically a croak now.<br /><br />He continued, this time speaking softly.<br /><br />``I must admit, I envy you.&nbsp;&nbsp;I can only save lives by protecting others, and killing those who wish to do harm.&nbsp;&nbsp;But, you, you can also heal.&nbsp;&nbsp;Your Power... I don&#039;t think it was an accident that it fell to you.&nbsp;&nbsp;Have you ever heard of anything that so perfectly personifies justice?&nbsp;&nbsp;The Power to take from evil and give it back to the good?&nbsp;&nbsp;To defeat your enemies and save your friends?<br /><br />It is a great burden, but I know that it has found the best hands, the only hands capable of wielding such a Power.<br /><br />And... even if these words don&#039;t help, and you still doubt yourself, or come to later, know that you are not alone.<br /><br />I will not always be there to help you.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;m sorry, but it&#039;s the truth.<br /><br />But I&#039;ve heard the voices of your friends.&nbsp;&nbsp;I have not heard them long, but I&#039;ve heard enough to realize how much they care about you.&nbsp;&nbsp;And how much you care about them.<br /><br />They believe in you.&nbsp;&nbsp;And they need you.<br /><br />You... don&#039;t have to kill, if you don&#039;t want to.&nbsp;&nbsp;But I would be lying if I said fate would leave you be and let you get by without killing.&nbsp;&nbsp;This is a war, no doubt about it.&nbsp;&nbsp;The enemy will be merciless and they won&#039;t hesitate to kill you or anyone else.&nbsp;&nbsp;Your life, the lives of those you love, and maybe even the lives of every Dreamkeeper may depend on you having to kill.<br /><br />But your sister, Kalei, Bast, Mace and Whip - I have no doubt that they&#039;ll be there, sharing the burden with you.&#039;&#039;<br /><br /><div class='align_center'>*******<br /></div><br />Silence.&nbsp;&nbsp;Again.&nbsp;&nbsp;He hated it.<br /><br />He thought of saying more, but he knew he would just be retreading old ground until he devolved into a rambling mess.<br /><br />What else was there to say?<br /><br />Dammit, he should have at least said that he loved - <br /><br />Her hands withdrew from his, leaving him alone in the darkness.<br /><br />He froze.<br /><br />Fear snaked its way through him, fear that he had failed, fear that she was going to leave - in more ways than one.<br /><br />His fear was baseless.<br /><br />Her arms wrapped around his shoulders and head, drawing him against her chest.<br /><br />He heard every beat of her heart.&nbsp;&nbsp;He heard every shaky breath, every hiccup.<br /><br />``I... I... I love you, Igrath.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She beat him to it.<br /><br />He wrapped his ridiculous, giant, shaggy arms around her and returned the embrace.<br /><br />``I should have led with that,&#039;&#039; he mumbled into her shirt.<br /><br />She sniffed.<br /><br />``Yeah... that and the hug.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He chuckled.<br /><br />``I guess everyone needs a hug, now and then.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />They remained that way for some time; he didn&#039;t know how long and didn&#039;t care.&nbsp;&nbsp;Eventually, they let each other go and he got back to his feet.<br /><br />Sore and tired, he hobbled next to her, wincing as he sat down, her arms guiding his progress.<br /><br />``You really shouldn&#039;t be up,&#039;&#039; she worried.<br /><br />``Bah, I&#039;ll live,&#039;&#039; he grumbled.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /><br />He grimaced.&nbsp;&nbsp;``Wow, I&#039;m sounding like an old man.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Well, you are - ``<br /><br />``Yes, but I don&#039;t like to be reminded!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />That got a laugh out of her.&nbsp;&nbsp;A tiny one, but a laugh nonetheless.<br /><br />She snuggled up next to him and he put an arm around her.&nbsp;&nbsp;He could feel the warmth fleeing him; the sun was setting.&nbsp;&nbsp;It occurred to him that he never bothered to ask what time it was when he woke.&nbsp;&nbsp;Either he woke very late or they were out there for a lot longer than he had thought.<br /><br />``Igrath...&#039;&#039; Lilith began, ``I don&#039;t know if... any of that helped... No, it did, at least a little, but what I mean... I don&#039;t know if it fixed everything.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``I didn&#039;t expect it to,&#039;&#039; he replied.<br /><br />``Yes, but... I need time to think about it.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;m not even sure that I agree with you... not completely.&nbsp;&nbsp;Even if I did... I&#039;m still... afraid... of going... of the...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Nightmares?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She shuddered.<br /><br />``Yes,&#039;&#039; she whispered.<br /><br />``Well, I might have a solution for that.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He felt her head leave his shoulder, likely to look up at him with a questioning look.<br /><br />``What?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He turned to smile at her.<br /><br />``Well, right after I rescued you from the Archives, I had a novel experience.&nbsp;&nbsp;For the first time in all my years of knowing them, Indi and Digo had someone else to gossip about.&nbsp;&nbsp;Consequently, I heard a great deal about a certain young man who has apparently taken a liking to you.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Doubtless, in addition to a confused expression, Lilith was also blushing furiously right now.<br /><br />``If the stories could be believed, he has gone to great lengths to protect you.&nbsp;&nbsp;Did he really hike all the way up Starfall mountain?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She swallowed audibly.<br /><br />``We were already part way down, but yes he came looking for us.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``For <em>you,&#039;&#039;</em> he corrected her.&nbsp;&nbsp;``And he discovered where you were by following me and the boys back to a Troika safehouse.&nbsp;&nbsp;He never showed it, but Scinter was pretty embarrassed that some teenager managed to tail him! Ha!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Okay, but what does that have to do with - ?&#039;&#039;<br /><br /><em>``And</em> that little adventure beneath the Towers - well, I don&#039;t think I need to remind you what he did down there.&nbsp;&nbsp;Mighty impressive from what I heard!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Igrath, what are you - ``<br /><br />``And is everything they say about the tail true?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``What?&nbsp;&nbsp;I - yes, I think so - &#039;&#039;<br /><br />He poked her shoulder with a claw.<br /><br />``Well, then; he&#039;s your solution!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Excuse me?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``I, as your guardian, or at least the closest person to it, hereby grant you permission to sleep with Bast.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Wait.<br /><br />What did he just say?<br /><br />Lilith produced a gasp of pure, scandalized incredulity.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was quite comical.<br /><br /><em>``Igrath!!&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />He almost knocked himself over as he slapped his free hand to his forehead, a mortified expression on his face.<br /><br />``No-no, that&#039;s not what I meant!&#039;&#039; he moaned, backpedaling.&nbsp;&nbsp;``I meant you can share a bed, but nothing else!&nbsp;&nbsp;Underwear minimum - no, scratch that, he <em>must</em> have pants - you, too!&nbsp;&nbsp;And a shirt for you!&nbsp;&nbsp;Maybe him as well, his tail&#039;s fluffy enough, don&#039;t you think?&nbsp;&nbsp;I mean, his chest fur isn&#039;t nearly as impressive. Gah, what the hell am I saying?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Igrath - I - <em>pfft</em> - don&#039;t think - no, I - <em>pfft!</em>&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She was clutching him, failing miserably in her attempts to stifle her giggles.<br /><br />``I - we aren&#039;t really - <em>pfft </em>- together.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />It took great effort to reign in his own laughter.&nbsp;&nbsp;Trying to regain composure, he finally responded.<br /><br />``Not from what I&#039;ve seen - erm, heard.&nbsp;&nbsp;Seriously, you two are good for each other.&nbsp;&nbsp;I approve.&nbsp;&nbsp;Just keep it clean.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />It seemed that she was carefully considering his words.<br /><br />``Igrath, you know me.&nbsp;&nbsp;Do you really think that I would do... something, with Bast?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Heh, my bad - ``<br /><br />``At least not in the bunks.&nbsp;&nbsp;There&#039;s no privacy whatsoever.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He stared at her for a moment in shock.&nbsp;&nbsp;Then he grinned.<br /><br />``Lilith Calah, I sure hope that is a joke.&nbsp;&nbsp;I expect you to act like a proper girl your age or so help me I will turn your boyfriend into a pancake.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``By falling on him?&#039;&#039; she said innocently.&nbsp;&nbsp;``You&#039;re barely able to stand as it is.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He ruffled her head.<br /><br />``Really, Lilith, where did this rebellious streak come from?&nbsp;&nbsp;This is Namah&#039;s doing, isn&#039;t it?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``No, I think it&#039;s Bast; he&#039;s such a <em>baaaaad</em> influence...&#039;&#039; She attempted to feign an exaggerated bored drawl.<br /><br />``That&#039;s it,&#039;&#039; he declared, ``c&#039;mere you!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Many who glimpsed his claws feared them.&nbsp;&nbsp;Who wouldn&#039;t?&nbsp;&nbsp;They were quite deadly, capable of ripping through flesh and armor with terrifying ease.&nbsp;&nbsp;But they didn&#039;t know the half of it.&nbsp;&nbsp;When applied with gentle and careful force, they were the perfect implements of torture.<br /><br />He descended upon Lilith and subjected her to the most diabolical torment of all - tickles.<br /><br />She squirmed away in panic, but caught by surprise, she had no hope of escaping his claws.&nbsp;&nbsp;In no time he had her as helpless and giggly as a ten-year-old.<br /><br />``N-n-n-nooooo, p-please, stop! Uncle! Uncle!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He grinned maniacally.<br /><br /><em>``Uncle</em> you say?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />His assault increased in intensity.<br /><br />``NO! Stoppit!&nbsp;&nbsp;That has - <em>ha</em> - nothing to - <em>pfft</em> - <em>hahaha!&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />He kept it up until her giggles became gasps and his arms began to feel like lead.&nbsp;&nbsp;He fell back, laying against the hard rock, panting.<br /><br />``I&#039;ve always wanted to do that.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``What... ha... <em>torture</em> me?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``No, I wished that I could have played with you as a little girl, like any uncle should.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;ve always regretted not being there when you and Namah were growing up.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />For a moment, there was only the sound of their breathing.<br /><br />``Well,&#039;&#039; she said.&nbsp;&nbsp;``I don&#039;t know about... <em>phew...</em> being tickled to death, but there&#039;s no reason we can&#039;t do things like that now.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Um, it&#039;s not like there&#039;s any theatres or ice cream shops around here...&#039;&#039;&nbsp;&nbsp;He waggled a hand vaguely at their surroundings.<br /><br />``We&#039;ll think of something.&nbsp;&nbsp;You, me, and Namah.&nbsp;&nbsp;Like a family.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Like a...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Tears beaded in his eyes.<br /><br />``I would like that.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Me too.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Her voice sounded so much better, with a smile on her face.<br /><br />Just then, he noticed the complete lack of warmth on his face - the sun was setting, if it wasn&#039;t already gone.<br /><br />``Igrath... we better get back inside.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He considered for a moment before replying.<br /><br />``You go on ahead.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;m going to sit out here for a while.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Are you sure?&#039;&#039; she asked, concerned.&nbsp;&nbsp;``Can you get back on your own?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Lilith, I&#039;m blind, not an invalid.&nbsp;&nbsp;Don&#039;t you worry about me.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;ll be there in a few.&nbsp;&nbsp;Now get!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She kissed him on the cheek and, after a few seconds of hesitation, or perhaps she was just looking at his face, she got up and left.<br /><br />He waited until the echoes of her footsteps faded into nothing before sitting back up.<br /><br />Facing out to where the sun used to be, he spoke to the air.<br /><br />``So, Namah, what did you think?&#039;&#039;<br /><div class='align_center'><br />*******</div><br /><br />With the slightest of noises, she landed with a gentle <em>thap </em>against the dusty ground.<br /><br />``Eh, six out of ten.&nbsp;&nbsp;Good effort, but you slipped on the execution,&#039;&#039; Namah said like she was casually commenting on a mediocre Fallguard match.&nbsp;&nbsp;``The police story worked, but what was with that philosophy bit?&nbsp;&nbsp;Honestly, you should&#039;ve let me write it for you.&nbsp;&nbsp;You might be good at rousing the troops - or at least they say you are - but your family pep talks need work.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Without turning toward her voice, he grinned ruefully at the horizon.<br /><br />``Well, I&#039;ll endeavor to improve.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He could barely hear a thing as she smoothly approached, footsteps almost nonexistent, the loudest sound being the soft rustle of her trench coat as she settled down next to him.<br /><br />``You here for a pep talk, too?&nbsp;&nbsp;Can&#039;t guarantee they&#039;ll get any better.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Nah.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;ve just got something to say.&nbsp;&nbsp;But, first...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Her tail poked him in his side.<br /><br />``Ground rules:&nbsp;&nbsp;no tickling, and I initiate all hugs.&nbsp;&nbsp;Deal?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He laughed weakly.<br /><br />``Deal.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She took a deep breath.<br /><br />``Okay...<br /><br />You know all about our initial dustup with the Tins.&nbsp;&nbsp;She tried to kill Lilith, I awakened my Power, I ruined her day.&nbsp;&nbsp;It was mostly by instinct.&nbsp;&nbsp;I didn&#039;t have a plan, I just wanted to protect my sister, by any means.<br /><br />I didn&#039;t hold back - not one bit.&nbsp;&nbsp;If I hadn&#039;t conked out, then that bitch would have never made it out of that Tower alive.<br /><br />At least, that&#039;s what I like to think.<br /><br />Now I&#039;m not so sure.<br /><br />I was ready to kill her that day, fully committed to splatting her against the wall.&nbsp;&nbsp;In fact, I nearly did; but of course she just barely managed to dodge my tendrils.<br /><br />But what if she didn&#039;t?<br /><br />Or what if, right now, she escaped and went after Lilith again?&nbsp;&nbsp;Or anyone else for that matter.<br /><br />I hope that I would be able to take it.&nbsp;&nbsp;If anyone deserve it, it&#039;s her, and I don&#039;t hold any stupid ideas about vengeance is bad and vigilantism is wrong, blah-blah.&nbsp;&nbsp;It&#039;s insane to even consider that I would lose any sleep over anyone like her.<br /><br />But, after seeing what Lilith did, I just don&#039;t know anymore.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She sighed.<br /><br />``So there you go; everybody got to tell a story, yay.&nbsp;&nbsp;Well, mine wasn&#039;t really a story, but, eh, whatever.&nbsp;&nbsp;Now let&#039;s conclude this delightful family therapy meeting with some closing remarks.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She sighed.<br /><br />``Igrath, don&#039;t take this the wrong way, but honestly, I doubt that your spiel did any good.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He ran his hand over his face, rubbing his beak.<br /><br />``And you think you could do better?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Nope,&#039;&#039; she answered.<br /><br />``Well...?&#039;&#039;<br /><br /><em>``Well, </em>what I actually meant was that, while the speech itself didn&#039;t work out, the fact that you tried did.&nbsp;&nbsp;Oh, and the whole friendship thing, that seemed to do the trick.&nbsp;&nbsp;Thank you, by the way, for throwing the whole burden on our shoulders, Mister I-Won&#039;t-Always-Be-There.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He was all out of chuckles at this point, weak or otherwise.&nbsp;&nbsp;He settled for a thin smile.<br /><br />``Sorry to inconvenience you, Namah.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Whatever; we can handle it.&#039;&#039;&nbsp;&nbsp;He imagined her flicking her hand in his direction, nonchalant.&nbsp;&nbsp;<em>``Anyways,</em> seeing as I&#039;m the most stable of the group, it looks like most of that burden is going to be on me.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Okay, maybe he had one more chuckle left.<br /><br />``What&#039;s so funny, big guy?&nbsp;&nbsp;It might not look like it on the surface, but I&#039;m not joking.&nbsp;&nbsp;Mace and Bast are just chock full of issues, wound up balls of angst just waiting to explode into another charming episode of melodrama.&nbsp;&nbsp;Kalei, well, there&#039;s her sister, the whole kidnapping thing, and, of course, has anyone figured out the glowing thing, yet?&nbsp;&nbsp;We&#039;re still kinda freaked out by that, especially her (obviously).&nbsp;&nbsp;And Whip...&nbsp;&nbsp;Wait, scratch that.&nbsp;&nbsp;He might actually be alright.&nbsp;&nbsp;Weird as the little guy is, I think he&#039;s handling the whole thing a lot better than everyone else.&nbsp;&nbsp;Heh, good for him.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />A scraping noise was followed by a swish and a series of <em>piks</em> and <em>taks</em> as Namah sent a pebble skipping across the ground.<br /><br />``Okay, fine, me and Whip will have to handle Operation `Friendship is Therapy.&#039;&nbsp;&nbsp;Gah, all I wanted was to be free of those damn Towers and everything just has to go to hell as soon as I get out.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Her flippant attitude abruptly vanished from her voice.<br /><br /><em>``Dammit, </em>why does it all have to be so hard?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Indeed.<br /><br />``I don&#039;t know,&#039;&#039; was the best he could come up with.<br /><br />``Great answer,&#039;&#039; she retorted.<br /><br />Her feet scraped against the stone as she stood.&nbsp;&nbsp;By the way she was grunting, he figured that she was stretching.<br /><br />``On that note, I have to fly - got a group therapy session to schedule.&#039;&#039;<br /><br /><em>Thap.</em> She hopped down and her voice relocated to the space in front of him.<br /><br />``And <em>you</em> need to get back to your bed.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#039;ve heard that a pair of purple twins - at least, I think they&#039;re still purple - are experiencing a fascinating amalgamation of anxiety and outrage about a certain blind uncle who should be resting and recuperating from a surgery involving the extraction of <em>multiple bullets.</em>&nbsp;&nbsp;I don&#039;t see what those two find so attractive - you&#039;re old, ugly, <em>and</em> stupid.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Maybe it&#039;s my wonderful personality,&#039;&#039; he countered, mimicking her tone.<br /><br />Her arms wrapped around him and gave him a tight squeeze.<br /><br />``Don&#039;t ever change, Uncle Igrath.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He squeezed back.<br /><br />``Promise.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />As he gingerly rose, his cane was pressed into his hand.&nbsp;&nbsp;He took it and started to make his way back to base.&nbsp;&nbsp;After only a few lumbering steps, he stopped, confused.<br /><br />Now where was...?<br /><br />Oops.<br /><br />``Um, Namah?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />``Yeah?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />He felt heat rise in his cheeks.<br /><br />``Could you... help me get back?&nbsp;&nbsp;I wasn&#039;t paying attention when I came out here and... well, I forgot the way back.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />She snorted.<br /><br />``Really?&nbsp;&nbsp;Like I have enough to worry about.&nbsp;&nbsp;Fine, gimme your hand...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Her hand in his, she led him back home.<br /><br /><div class='align_center'>*******</div><br /><br />As soon as they moved within earshot of the various inhabitants, Igrath assured her that he could make it to the infirmary without her help.&nbsp;&nbsp;She took him at his word, but made sure to watch him out of the corner of her eye, just in case.<br /><br />Despite his confidence, he didn&#039;t look so hot.&nbsp;&nbsp;They should have let Lilith heal him the rest of the way.&nbsp;&nbsp;Even if she was truly too shaken to do it three days ago, she was certainly ready enough now.&nbsp;&nbsp;There were still some among the Troika, however, that still held doubts about Lilith&#039;s Power, and whether she was capable of using it; they found it safer to let Igrath&#039;s wounds heal naturally.<br /><br />As he neared the entrance to the infirmary, one purple figure burst through the curtains hanging in the entrance while a second dashed out from around a corner, flanking him.<br /><br />Yeah, he&#039;ll be fine.<br /><br />Namah turned her attention to the mess area, where at one long table Lilith sat, accompanied by their... by their friends.<br /><br />How was she going to handle this?<br /><br />Obviously, Igrath didn&#039;t intend active intervention.&nbsp;&nbsp;He was thinking that they should just be there for her.&nbsp;&nbsp;Support her when she needed it, talk if she wanted to, etc.&nbsp;&nbsp;But what she said about Kalei and the boys wasn&#039;t exaggeration.&nbsp;&nbsp;With so much on everybody&#039;s minds, she doubted that they would all just click and start openly discussing their feelings.&nbsp;&nbsp;People never worked like that outside of scroll shows.&nbsp;&nbsp;Plus, while shared life or death experiences could start a friendship, it couldn&#039;t sustain one.&nbsp;&nbsp;They barely knew each other and with all the baggage they carried, none of them were willing to fix that and open up.<br /><br />As she observed them from afar, she noticed that none of them were talking to each other.&nbsp;&nbsp;Lilith was at the end, eating quietly; Bast was to her right, glancing at her occasionally, but keeping his head down, likely trying - and failing - to come up with a way to comfort her; Kalei was across from Lilith, trying to engage in conversation, but only getting one word answers in reply; and to Kalei&#039;s left was Mace who openly stared at her with a concerned, hopeless expression.&nbsp;&nbsp;The depressing atmosphere seemed to be affecting Whip as well, who was perched on Mace&#039;s shoulder instead of performing his usual perky hover.<br /><br />Okay, there it is then.&nbsp;&nbsp;She just had to break the ice.&nbsp;&nbsp;Easy.<br /><br />It had to be something simple, believable, and certain to get them talking.&nbsp;&nbsp;Something cheerful, or funny, and strong enough to drive away all this doom and gloom.<br /><br />She folded her arms.<br /><br />Damn, this was harder than she thought.<br /><br />Stick to your guns - do what you know.<br /><br />What did she know?<br /><br />An evil grin spread across her face as a delicious idea took form.<br /><br />Oh, yes, that might work.<br /><br />Adopting a countenance of complete innocence, she coolly sauntered over to the kitchen and picked up a tray of dinner; she didn&#039;t pay any attention to the food itself and just picked up whatever was most convenient.<br /><br />As she approached their table, Kalei&#039;s attempts at conversation ceased as she looked up at her, a worried look on her face.&nbsp;&nbsp;Acting as if nothing was wrong, Namah responded with an easy smile and sat down next to Lilith.&nbsp;&nbsp;Everyone looked up at her briefly and then returned to their previous depressed positions.<br /><br />With exaggerated motions, she took a piece of bread and made a great show of taking a bite and chewing it, partnered with obnoxious sound effects.<br /><br />Mace and Kalei gave her confused looks, Whip raised an eyebrow, and Bast shot her a dirty glare.&nbsp;&nbsp;Lilith didn&#039;t react at all.<br /><br />After taking great care in swallowing her morsel, Namah swiveled on the bench, crossing her legs, bread still in hand, and regarded her sister.<br /><br />``So, Lilith...&#039;&#039; she began with a casual and inquisitive air.<br /><br />Her sister turned toward her with a questioning expression.&nbsp;&nbsp;Nearby, Vi and Bobby were walking past, the former catching wind and turning slightly out of curiosity, ears cocked.<br /><br />``Did Igrath really give you permission to sleep with Bast?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />It was beautiful.<br /><br />Bast went from icy glare to wide-eyed shock and embarrassment, the insides of his ears instantly painted maroon.&nbsp;&nbsp;Mace toppled over backwards, Whip giving a squeak as he was thrown off his friend&#039;s shoulder.&nbsp;&nbsp;Kalei gasped dramatically, hands over her mouth, looking very scandalized.&nbsp;&nbsp;Vi burst out laughing while Bobby merely stared, ears twitching, trying to puzzle out whether he heard her right.<br /><br />Best of all was Lilith, who should have been given an award for the achievement of being even redder than Bast.&nbsp;&nbsp;Out of them all, she was also the only one capable for forming words.&nbsp;&nbsp;Well, one word.<br /><br /><em>``Namah!!&#039;&#039;</em><br /><br />She curled the fingers of her free hand beneath her chin and replied with a smug grin.<br /><br />Yeah, it definitely worked.<br /><br /><em>*******</em><br /><br />He was under siege by two very worried and very angry women when the explosion occurred.&nbsp;&nbsp;He didn&#039;t need his sensitive ears to hear the gasps or laughter or Lilith&#039;s familiar exclamation.&nbsp;&nbsp;Abandoning their chastising of him, Indi and Digo looked toward the table.<br /><br />``&iquest;Que demonios?&#039;&#039; exclaimed Indi.&nbsp;&nbsp;``What&#039;s going on over there?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Leaning against his cane, too tired to laugh, and even too tired to smile, he simply nodded in satisfaction.<br /><br />They had a very, very long road ahead of them.<br /><br />It wasn&#039;t going to be easy, or kind.<br /><br />They will face things no child should.<br /><br />They will face things that <em>no one</em> should.<br /><br />In the coming months, he would once again be driven to doubt, and eventually believe that it would all come to a horrific end.&nbsp;&nbsp;His torment - and theirs - was far from over.<br /><br />But, in this one moment, looking at his family, surrounded by friends, he truly believed in one thing, beyond a shadow of a doubt:<br /><br />They would be just fine.<br /><br /></span>",
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