About Last Night

“So, tell me Fearless,” Raph was wearing  that look which meant this was going nowhere good for Leo, “did ya get freaky with any jungle girls back there?” A sly grin slid easily across Raph’s face as he leaned further down the wall. They’re in the dojo, just the two of them and Raph was poking at a subject too dangerous and too raw between them. But Raph wasn’t very good at keeping away from the fire.

Leo glared, shoulders slumping forward. “I didn’t exactly get acquainted with any villages Raph. I was too busy with more important things. Like protecting them,” he doesn’t want to talk about this but he let the smug superiority sit there in his voice. Dominance and victory was always the shared intent in every conversation between the two. 

“Oh c’mon!”

“It’s the truth . .”

“So you’re telling me, that outta all those people you kicked the crap outta for them, all the time you spent watching over them, that not one measly little village girl was, well, appreciative? No one wanted to give you a reward or nothin’?” Raph put his full weight on his knees with his elbows, straining forward as if the proximity would afford the secrets he wished Leo had. 

“No.” Impassive, Leo stared straight into Raph’s eyes. After a moment, Raph sighed, looking to the ceiling and settled back against the wall.

“Bummer then.”

“I didn’t do it for the benefits Raph.’”

“Well yeah, o’course not.” Raph scratched at his neck, hesitant. “Jus’ suprisin’ that nothin’ happened is all.”

There was a quiet between them then, an awkwardness that lapped at the last tendrils of conversation, growing stronger and larger as the silence lengthened. Leo cleared his throat, as loud as a gunshot in the empty dojo. “So what about you?”

“What about me?” It’s Raph’s turn to feel uneasy, he immediately crossed his arms and shot a withering look at Leo.

“Did the NightCrawler get, erm, lucky?” Leo knows that name, has it seared into him where it burns the most, but he isn’t about to let Raph know that. He got the expected response when Raph growled low.

“It’s the NightWatcher,” it came out like a rasp, like the words were catching on something. Leo simply stared, waiting. After another moment of silence, where their eyes fought in ways words couldn’t, Raph sighed looked away, almost shamefaced. “No. But it’s different.”

“How’s it so much more different?”

“Because it is!”

“Okay Raph, whatever you say.”

“Oh you know what Leo, just go to hell.” He stood up quickly, feet slamming fast and he turned to run.

It was moments like these, where he’d push Raph too far, that Leo would suddenly be stuck with a sort of anguish that tasted like so too many wrong words said. He used to ignore it, let it settle and rot away in him slowly as Raph went off on his tantrum. But now, now Leo stood. He caught Raph’s arm, a grip that was firm but breakable. Raph stopped, head bent and shadowed.

Leo let him simmer for a while, giving his breathing room, before speaking. 

“Can we, just, like, not do this? Please?” A note of desperation had crept into his voice without him wanting it to, but Raph heard it, it was certainly in his eyes when he lifted his head. He looked at Leo like Leo held his whole world in his hands and was threatening to break it. It wasn't the first time Raph looked at him like that, but it still hurt. Their eyes locked and Leo let his hand slip down, following the path of Raph’s arm. His hand found Raph’s and he gripped gently. 

It took a moment, but Raph slowly tightened his fingers around Leo’s.

They stayed like that for a while, their breathing evening out, synchronizing. 

Leo, again, broke the silence. “We don’t always have to fight you know.” He said it so low it was almost a whisper.

“You started it.” 

“Raph . . .”

“Yeah. Yeah I know.” He suddenly looked so tired, now that his anger’s depleted. Rubbing at his eyes with his free, he sighed long and thin. “Listen, about the other night. We, ah, can we just forget about it? It was stupid and -”

“Raph-”

“- I think I must’ve been drunk or somethin’ ‘cause-”
“I liked it.”

“-But I don’t know- wait. What did you say?”

Leo audibly gulped and tried to take his hand away, but Raph had a firm hold and tugged back.

Raph’s eye were intent, focused and needy. “What - What did you say?” 

“I. . . I liked it. I don’t want to forget about it Raph.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“We don’t forget about it.”

“Right.”

“What are gonna do about it then?” Raph had inched closer cautiously, till he was in Leo’s personal space.

“I don’t know?!” Leo was at loss really. How does a turtle go on after this sort of revelation? 

“We gonna fuck?” The way Raph said fuck purposely made hot breath sigh against Leo’s cheek. 

“Right now?!!” Leo had never felt more scandalised in his life, his face felt a thousand degrees hotter. He wanted to move back, get a little breathing room. His body however, liked being this close to Raph.

“Well, not right now. But like, later. Later, later” 

“How much later?” He was inching closer himself, his words catching my Raph’s lips.

“As much later as you need.” He brought his hands up to Leo’s hips, his thumb rubbing small circles into Leo’s skin.

“Okay. I mean, I don’t know when  . .”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you kissed again though. I mean, if you wanted to.”

Raph smirked, of course, but there was a slightly sweeter edge to it than usual. “Oh I want to alright.”

A few hours later, when the sun had risen and so had their brothers, they shared secret, little smiles over cups of coffee and soggy cereal.

“