{"submission_id":"1768098","keywords":[{"keyword_id":"14434","keyword_name":"drum and bass","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"31"},{"keyword_id":"3270","keyword_name":"empty","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"116"},{"keyword_id":"449113","keyword_name":"liquid drum and bass","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"1"},{"keyword_id":"8076","keyword_name":"symbolism","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"61"},{"keyword_id":"31105","keyword_name":"venting","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"102"}],"hidden":"f","scraps":"f","favorite":"f","favorites_count":"1","create_datetime":"2018-12-17 04:28:37.787583+01","create_datetime_usertime":"17 Dec 2018 04:28 CET","last_file_update_datetime":"2018-12-17 04:36:25.388354+01","last_file_update_datetime_usertime":"17 Dec 2018 04:36 CET","username":"XGame25","user_id":"483057","user_icon_file_name":"154461_XGame25_yvgrjhf_2_.jpg","user_icon_url_large":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/usericons/large/154/154461_XGame25_yvgrjhf_2_.jpg","user_icon_url_medium":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/usericons/medium/154/154461_XGame25_yvgrjhf_2_.jpg","user_icon_url_small":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/usericons/small/154/154461_XGame25_yvgrjhf_2_.jpg","file_name":"2534062_XGame25_empty.mp3","file_url_full":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/full/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.mp3","file_url_screen":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.mp3","file_url_preview":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.mp3","thumbnail_url_huge":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.jpg","thumbnail_url_large":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.jpg","thumbnail_url_medium":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.jpg","thumb_huge_x":"300","thumb_huge_y":"225","thumb_large_x":"200","thumb_large_y":"150","thumb_medium_x":"120","thumb_medium_y":"90","files":[{"file_id":"2534062","file_name":"2534062_XGame25_empty.mp3","file_url_full":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/full/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.mp3","file_url_screen":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.mp3","file_url_preview":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.mp3","mimetype":"audio/mpeg","submission_id":"1768098","user_id":"483057","submission_file_order":"0","full_size_x":null,"full_size_y":null,"screen_size_x":null,"screen_size_y":null,"preview_size_x":null,"preview_size_y":null,"initial_file_md5":"1ff2bfba2cc38f836b2ef5d88b8af6c3","full_file_md5":"1ff2bfba2cc38f836b2ef5d88b8af6c3","large_file_md5":"","small_file_md5":"","thumbnail_md5":"9c34ca7decc74587f09223095bcf7547","deleted":"f","create_datetime":"2018-12-17 04:36:25.388354+01","create_datetime_usertime":"17 Dec 2018 04:36 CET","thumbnail_url_huge":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.jpg","thumbnail_url_large":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.jpg","thumbnail_url_medium":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/2534/2534062_XGame25_empty.jpg","thumb_huge_x":"300","thumb_huge_y":"225","thumb_large_x":"200","thumb_large_y":"150","thumb_medium_x":"120","thumb_medium_y":"90"}],"pools":[],"description":"This one is... special. Unique, even. Well, not the song itself, but more so what it represents.\n\nI tried to go for more of an empty sound. Like settling down in a dark room, dozing off to sleep. \n\nBut it also represents me. And my life up until this point.\n\nYou see, right now... I feel empty. Like I've wasted my entire life doing nothing. Like the most meaningful thing I've ever done was just sleep all day. It's like the kick to living just isn't there anymore. Like it used to be; fast and hard, just like drum and bass. Now it's silent. Replaced by a void of static. I've tried to fill it up by doing things I enjoy, like playing video games or hanging out with friends... but those feelings of joy... of fulfillment... they're temporary. Just like the synths in this song.One moment, they're there, the next... nothing. Empty. Static. Like a drug: it takes you away for a time, but each time you do it, it lingers less and less, causing you to do it more and more, constantly chasing that high you'll never reach.\n\nBut even still... there's something that keeps me going. Something that stops me from flinging myself off a fucking cliff. Always in the back of my head, yet I can't think of it. Always on the tip of my tongue, yet my mouth never seems to be able to put it into words. It drives me crazy, my mind trying to think of what it is until my brain turns to mush. And all I can hear is static.\n\nMaybe that static is trying to tell me to fill that void. Or maybe it's just reminding me that void is there. Maybe it's both.\n\nBut then the song ends, then repeats itself. Stuck on an endless loop of temporary emotions and temporary fulfillment. And the only thing left is that static.\n\nI'm not leaving. That static won't let me. I'll keep making music. I'll keep drawing. I'll keep playing video games. I'll keep making my friends laugh with stories from Discord or 4chan. I'll keep doing these things because they're the only things that give me purpose. Even if it's temporary. I stopped giving a shit a long time ago.\n\nSo what should you take from this? I don't fucking know. I don't even know what I'M taking from this.\n\nI guess what I'm saying is that even though I want to fucking die, I won't. Not for a long time. I'll keep posting here. Maybe more frequently. Maybe less. Whatever the static decides, I guess.","description_bbcode_parsed":"This one is... special. Unique, even. Well, not the song itself, but more so what it represents.
I tried to go for more of an empty sound. Like settling down in a dark room, dozing off to sleep.
But it also represents me. And my life up until this point.
You see, right now... I feel empty. Like I've wasted my entire life doing nothing. Like the most meaningful thing I've ever done was just sleep all day. It's like the kick to living just isn't there anymore. Like it used to be; fast and hard, just like drum and bass. Now it's silent. Replaced by a void of static. I've tried to fill it up by doing things I enjoy, like playing video games or hanging out with friends... but those feelings of joy... of fulfillment... they're temporary. Just like the synths in this song.One moment, they're there, the next... nothing. Empty. Static. Like a drug: it takes you away for a time, but each time you do it, it lingers less and less, causing you to do it more and more, constantly chasing that high you'll never reach.
But even still... there's something that keeps me going. Something that stops me from flinging myself off a fucking cliff. Always in the back of my head, yet I can't think of it. Always on the tip of my tongue, yet my mouth never seems to be able to put it into words. It drives me crazy, my mind trying to think of what it is until my brain turns to mush. And all I can hear is static.
Maybe that static is trying to tell me to fill that void. Or maybe it's just reminding me that void is there. Maybe it's both.
But then the song ends, then repeats itself. Stuck on an endless loop of temporary emotions and temporary fulfillment. And the only thing left is that static.
I'm not leaving. That static won't let me. I'll keep making music. I'll keep drawing. I'll keep playing video games. I'll keep making my friends laugh with stories from Discord or 4chan. I'll keep doing these things because they're the only things that give me purpose. Even if it's temporary. I stopped giving a shit a long time ago.
So what should you take from this? I don't fucking know. I don't even know what I'M taking from this.
I guess what I'm saying is that even though I want to fucking die, I won't. Not for a long time. I'll keep posting here. Maybe more frequently. Maybe less. Whatever the static decides, I guess.","writing":"","writing_bbcode_parsed":"","pools_count":0,"title":"Empty","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"audio/mpeg","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"0","rating_name":"General","ratings":[],"submission_type_id":"10","type_name":"Music - Single Track","guest_block":"f","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"0","views":"8","sales_description":null,"forsale":"f","digitalsales":"f","printsales":"f","digital_price":""}