Oh the lives I tried to live
Trying on identities
To find the one that fit for me;
But many did not, and still don’t
And each me that fails the test
Must come to its own end.

I thought I had a boyfriend
Who loved me fair and true.
He seemed so sweet; but I did not see
The secrets in his past.
He broke my heart in ways that he nor I
Could know of at the time.
It did not work; I left the fox.
I killed myself again.

I thought I had a daddy wolf,
He filled my broken soul.
A hole I did not know I had
He filled, and I was glad.
But on the eve of when we’d meet
He vanished from my life.
I knew not why; I could only cry,
So I killed myself again.

I thought I was a gay man
But maleness did not fit.
I tried to live a life for me,
But nothing felt quite right.
Off went the mask; off went the me.
I killed myself again.

I thought I was a monster,
But learned that I was not.
My feelings came from monstrous deeds
Long repressed to save my soul;
I faced the demons; forgave myself.
I killed myself again.

I thought I had a new girlfriend,
I loved her deep and true.
But she did not, nor could she love
A woman quite like me.
I broke right down, my lioness,
My heart still beats for you.
But longing’s wasted on girls like you.
I killed myself again.

Each part of me that tries and dies
Breaks me a little more
But I’m a phoenix; I won’t lie down
From the ashes I will rise.
My fox, my snep, my rocks heal me
And bring me back to life.
My family helps me get back up;
I’ll not kill myself again.