!!!Heads up, real life stuff ahead! This is my own personal story, nothing fantasy-related here. It's honestly kinda depressing at points, but I promise it has a happy ending~!!!
I commissioned this from https://twitter.com/smlieichi as a way of saying thanks to my friends! Thanks for all that they do, all that they help me with.
I know I've been trying to write more! I've actually got a little story for you all... a story about me.
A year ago today, I was quite the hefty birb! Weighing in at about 255 pounds, I was in a poor mental state and didn't really care about myself. I guess you could say I just let myself go, I slipped harder than I had in the past. I was working an awful job, and had some crappy friends to go along with it. However, there was one thing keeping me going: \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
| \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tZandermanith\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
Zander had only known me a few months at that point, but he was there every day for me. We'd always find stuff to chat about, and I'd stay up until 10-11am every day (having to work at 4pm the same day) talking to him, as it genuinely made me happy. My mental state kept declining, and in November, I made a choice: I dropped my life over here in the US, and bought a one-way ticket across the world. It was there I was slowly able to heal mentally, always in the company of a great friend. It was during that time I met \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
| \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tVitrex\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
After four short months, however, my visa basically made it impossible to stay, as I couldn't get a full-time job. So I came back to the US, weighing in at about 215 lbs, will to live renewed. I managed to surprise my family when I came back, which made me happy. But then I got back into my old habits.
Video games have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. The PS3 got me through my middle school years, while the PS4 got me through high school and beyond. What I never realized before I took that trip, however, was just how negatively these "friends" of mine were impacting my life. Every time I got on to play, it would just devolve into yelling and flaming and everything in between. Getting a taste of what a real friend was like really got me thinking, but yet I continued to play with them, day after day. I got a new job, and between the crappy hours I got to start (applied/got hired for nights, was working days) and those "friends", my depression came back in full force. Started over-eating and constantly snacking again, bringing me back up to about 240ish lbs.
It wasn't until I met \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
| \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tTaylinSora\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
It was a slow process, just working and going to the gym, but I kept at it. Although I kept snacking, eating and drinking unhealthy things and wondering why I just couldn't lose any weight! Then I realized just what I was doing. I took all the sugary drinks I had and gave them to my family, vowing to stop drinking them. It's gone well so far, I've gone almost three full months without drinking any sort of soda/sugary drinks! I also cut back on eating BIG TIME. It was only after I made these changes that I started losing weight, which really motivated me.
In the middle of all this, I stumbled across a post here that caught my attention, and I became a patron of \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
| \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tbuithebuizel\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
Buuuut, that's also partially thanks to \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
| \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tdelusionaldead\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
He stumbled upon my page by pure chance, and decided to shoot me a message! He thought I seemed like an alright guy, and he also loves to chat, so it was a great thing for me. We got to chatting, and I must say, he's been one of the biggest boosts to my self-confidence. He indirectly inspired me to actually care about my appearance, and slowly but surely, all the self-esteem and self-confidence issues stemming from those older negative "friends" of mine started to unravel. I've become a tad more outgoing as of late, and have been doing my best to be more social, both online and in person!
I've also been able to develop my writing a bit more thanks to @carjackked! I always loved his writing, and it made me really happy when he came back to IB~ I sent him a message, and we quickly became friends. He's taken time to not only proofread my writing, but also offer tips and suggestions for the future! Together, him and Bui have brought my confidence up to the point where I'm definitely going to write a full-on story sometime to share here! Someday. I'm a busy birb, not much time to write D:
I've finally gotten my life somewhat on track, and it's all thanks to the people I've mentioned above. There's a few others who don't have IB accounts, or I'd link them! Some gaming buddies, and some friends from FA, all of them making some sort of an impact on my life~ As of today, I'm 190 lbs, this is the first time I've been under 200 in (I believe) 5-6 years! I'm going to continue these good lifestyle decisions, that way I can continue to be the happy birb everyone's come to know and love~ spreading positivity and happiness is a big goal of mine, as making other people happy is what truly makes me happy. It's the best way to do things~
So I guess I just want to say, thank you to all my friends. You've all made a lasting impact on me, and I'll never forget what any of you have done for me. Having you all around has basically rejuvenated my life, and I've definitely got reasons to keep going now.
And if you've read this far, thank you as well. In this fandom, you never know what kind of people you'll meet, and how they'll change your life. This all started because I wanted to commission nsfw things from Zander back in February 2018, and it really trips me up to think about how much he's done for me. He was my lifeline for a while, keeping me hanging in there when times were tough. And it honestly hurts me to think about where I'd be now if I hadn't reached out to Zander for a commission, or if he would've turned away my birb. I'd honestly either be dead or eating myself to death, not a care in the world. I'm personally really glad it turned out this way~
Sometimes you have to do drastic or difficult things to keep yourself afloat. Those "friends" I cut out of my life? I've known one of them since I was 5, one since I was 7, and the others since I was 13. It was a tough decision, but the most important one I've ever made. The most important thing was myself, and I finally realized that. You gotta make your own decisions, nobody else can make them for you! An important thing I'd like to note though, if there's toxic people in your life, you should work on cutting them out. Toxicity, especially from people you trust and care for, will only lead to pain and sadness down the line.
I dunno. I just hope that someone finds this story useful. Maybe you're thinking about making a big lifestyle change. Lifestyle changes like the ones I made are hard, and take a lot of strength to keep up. But if you've got some great friends around, it's a heck of a lot easier to stay motivated!
And if you're reading this and are in need of some support, or just someone to chat with, feel free to message me sometime! This birb is not the best at giving advice, but I'm good at listening~
I realize I kinda jumped around to various points in my life in this post, but these are some of the most important happenings in my nearly 20 years of life~ if you're wondering what's going on with me now, I'm living a much better life! I'm working a job that's closer to home and pays more than my old one, and my coworkers are a lot better. I've worked there for not even three months, and they're actually already promoting me! 2 months of training, and I'll be making more money~ more money means more commissions, and I'm currently working on getting commissions with as many people as I possibly can! (Side note, if you have an OC you'd wanna see with the birb, send me a ref sometime~ might use ya, might not! Male OCs only though x3 )
For one final time in this post, I just want to extend a huge THANK YOU to all of my friends. You're the best, and I love you all.
~Michael