***
And when I pulled off that dirty freeway
In that dirty city
Under that dirty sky
I was lost
But only for a moment
Because thank God for GPS
And it led me right to your door
temporary
small
but yours
You were bigger than I thought you’d be
Not that I’m complaining
Look at my glass house
And I didn’t know how to act
So I did the cordial thing
Because when you’re online
You’re not vulnerable
To reality
To the world
And so you’re different
Even if you don’t mean it
But I saw in your eyes in that moment
That you were the same
And I had nothing to fear
And after last year
(especially after last year)
This was a good thing
excellent
perfect
heartening
And I knew we had the whole day ahead of us
And so I plugged in the first stop
The first of twenty-three
I had so carefully laid out
To maximize the time
And to minimize it as well
(if you know what I mean)
And we made the rounds
Donuts under the big donut
The house where Marcia got her nose broke
by a wayward football
The house where Drew Barrymore started out
Talking to an alien
The house under the power lines
Biff polishing the shiny black Toyota
The Burger King where Marty caught the Jeep
And Huey Lewis sang “Out of Time”
The mall where the DeLorean went
88
Even when real DeLoreans couldn’t go
88
And I struck out sometimes
When you said you hadn’t watched much TV
But that was okay
Because you would hold my hand as we drove
And that’s when I knew
You were real
And you talked about music
And I talked about writing
Brofisting our brains
While we fought traffic
And bemoaned the world
Still laughing
And how could I have forgotten you were hungry
The first place a no-go
So we ended up in Monrovia
On Route 66
The old standby
I got fajitas
You got chicken crispers
I think
And we ate
And talked
But mostly just stared at each other
So nice
And fueled for what was to come
Couldn’t drive back fast enough
To that beautiful city
City of hills
City of excess and artifice
City where I would love you
And when we pulled up
They had a porte-cochere
And the men fawned over us
Took our meager bags
We were stars
I knew the routine
And you were speechless
And I couldn’t stop wagging
Whooshed into the lobby
All pastels and crystal
I crossed the t’s
And dotted the i’s
While you stared
I smiled so much
Down the hallway
With the palm-frond wallpaper
So much history
Into the room
I forget the number
Largest we’d ever seen
The remote solid aluminum
So fancy
And I tipped him and he left
And your eyes were so shiny
With half-tears
And it was then
That I knew I had done the right thing
I wouldn’t let you feel bad
Because that wasn’t your job
You deserved a vacation
And then you hugged me
Oh my God you hugged me
And took my chin up to yours
And the world ceased to exist
Outside those expensive windows
That first kiss
chaste
slow
unforgettable
I wouldn’t let you feel bad about the money
It wasn’t your deal
To the bed
so big
so soft
lion soft
And we lay
Experiencing each other
Belly to belly
Wouldn’t have it any other way
My paws in your mane
Your claws along my jaw
Feeling
Just feeling
More kissing
You couldn’t resist
I could have been happy there
But we had one night
Only the one
So far
And my paw went lower
From the shelf of your belly
To your jeans
So big
But perfect
Perfectly hard
Hard for me
And all I wanted to do
Was make you happy
I’d succeeded
I’m an overachiever
Your tongue
so far
so deep
so wet
so gentle
oh my god
A blur
And we were naked
Your unbelievable curves
Your cock in my paw
Perfect fit
Perfect everything
I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
I don’t remember everything
But I remember enough
I remember how you fit in my muzzle
Bigger than most
But no problem
To the root
To the sheath
And the way you squirmed
And the noises you made
Cat noises
Man noises
Lion noises
Petpetpetting your encouragement
I can’t make this stuff up
I can’t even write this well
There aren’t words
For the experience of your tongue
Muzzle deep in my hole
Hungry for touch and taste
You could have stayed there forever
And I would have let you
Milking me into the bed
Leaking so much
And then your fingers were there
Under my tail
In so easily
one
two
three
What lube
Oh there it is
We didn’t need it yet
But did it ever help things a long
Do you remember the sounds I made
Even before you mounted me
I had no control
I lost it somewhere in your eyes
And this is me saying this
And you asked me if I was ready
If I was a good boy
A beautiful boy
And I couldn’t say the words
But my tail did
up
up
up
And then you were behind me
Oh God rubbing up and down
Four inches of indescribable sensation
Tail to balls
And motherfucker you were in
No resistance
No pain
When had it ever felt this good
When had I ever felt so loved
So completely vulnerable
Breath hitching
Hole
clenching
clenching
clenching
Clumps of sheet gathered between my fingers
Like silk clay
Expensive sheets
Rented sheets
But ours
Because we owned that moment
And you started in
And out
The smoothest absolution ever
Rescue me from this world
Its tribulations
Its inanity
Its inability to leave us in peace.
But for then
Not even the glittery traffic outside
Could keep you from grabbing my hips
And THRUST oh god fuck me
THRUST oh god fuck me
THRUST oh god yes
yes
yes
yes
Was it one minute or two
Or ninety seconds later
You sped up
Trembling and gasping
Your claws digging into me
Wonderfully
I pushed back
You pushed forward
Your breath
Raspy and angelic
As you bred someone for the first time
In your life
And it was me
me
And I’m so glad
Do you remember
How I shook and cried after
Unable to process the weight
The Bigness of it
Whimpering like the pup you call me
And all you did was hold me
hold me
Whispering the sweetest everything to me
Stroking my side
Telling me what a good boy I was
It was my whole world right then
My goodboyness
I had pleased you
That was my function
And eventually I calmed down
Just in time for you to fuck me again
From behind
Longer this time
And I reached back for your balls
To pull you in close
To feel the point where we were joined
Lubricated by your cum
So you could add to it
And a third time
Never having left the bed
On my back
So you could see me
Watch me
Paws up to my chest
Spread like a good boy
The best boy
Your face as you came
That third time
Unbelieving
Impossible for you
But I made it happen
I was too tired to reciprocate
But I tried
Tasting your lion taste
Mounting your lion rump
Luxuriating in your softness
tightness
sexiness
And when we were done
You held me in your big arms
Held me to sleep
And after you snored
I cried silently to the expensive room
From the enormity of you
And I was so tired
4am
But I didn’t want to close my eyes
Didn’t want to fall asleep
Because I’d miss you baby
And I didn’t want to miss a thing
Steven Tyler was right
All those years ago
Close to you
Feeling your heart beating
Lulling me under
And we had to wake up because checkout
You called the desk and postponed
So you could fuck me one more time
Or was it so we could finally clean up
I don’t remember
Forgive me
But I do remember the bubble bath
The goofy picture
You and the fancy showerhead
And the way the shampoo smelled
I kept that shampoo for months
Sparingly
Because it reminded me of you
We were different people that morning
Changed for the better
But we had to leave the bubble
We still had lives
And time waits for no man
Or lion
Or coyolf
But before we became poor again
We toured the underbelly of the place
The hundred-thousand-dollar necklace
The ballroom
And you sat at the piano
Risking discovery
And you played
And sang “My Funny Valentine”
I had never heard it
I had never heard you sing
And you made me cry again
Dammit
Bittersweet but just slightly bitter
And the words had a new meaning
I looked at you
But you were inside the music
Inside your voice
The face of a man at his craft
Made all the more real
Because you were singing about us
I didn’t want to let you go
What a horrible feeling
And I couldn’t believe
The last twenty-four hours
These things only happen in stories
Or poetry
Except it was real
As real as the smile on your face
As real as the love-ache under my tail
As real as your “I don’t want to let you go” paws
And mine
How I wanted to follow you home
A good boy
Your good boy
But we know the rules
And we’re satisfied
And I know you’re far away
But it’s only a matter of time
And we have it planned
We’re going to live it up
And love on each other
Like we want to
Like we deserve
And no one can take that away from us
They’d have to rip out our hearts
Because I am your marshmallow
You are my lionchu
And we always will be
Because I love you
In that way we have
And that’s good enough for me.
***
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