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Malakai is coming home for Xmas, but how will things be between the two brothers? Will things heat back up or will things remain as frosty as the snow outside?", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Sequel to Loving and Lusting for My Brother.  Malakai is coming home for Xmas, but how will things be between the two brothers?  Will things heat back up or will things remain as frosty as the snow outside?", "writing": "Author's Note: Well here it is, LLFMB is back! Thanks to all my friends, watchers, and viewers, you guys rock! This story will alternate between Malakai and Rodya's POVs.\n\n[center][b]Loving and Lusting for My Brother II[/b][/center]\n\n[center][b]Chapter 1[/b][/center]\n\n[i]Malakai's POV[/i]\n\nIt's 2:30 PM and here I am at Fox Hollow Central Station, holding my suitcase and waiting for the commuter train to take me back to my old home. Work let us out early so we could all be with our families for Xmas. It would seem however, that every office in the city had the same idea, as the waiting room was just as full now as it was in rush hour. I live in the city, so I take the subway to get back to my apartment, but I always get on at this station's subway stop and see the suburbanites wait for their trains home. And now I was one of them. Fox Hollow Central is a huge, grand old station; its beige marble walls and golden chandeliers give it an air of being more fancy than it needs to be. Finally, the boarding call came and I could now make my way down to the platform.\n\nThe train had managed to fill up once we arrived at the International Airport stop. Fox Hollow International was the larger of Fox Hollow's two airports, but I was still surprised to see the train fill up going away from the city instead of towards it. I guess this is what happens when you leave the day before Xmas Eve. As we left the airport, we made our way through Fox Hollow's northeast suburbs. In the distance I could see Mt. Kernon, now covered in freshly fallen snow. It made me think of a time Rodya and I had gone skiing when we were younger. He was so much better at it than I was. Things were so different back then. More carefree, more innocent, before things got.... Not gonna lie, I was still nervous about seeing him again. But I wasn't not gonna visit my brother on Xmas, no matter how my heart still felt.\n\nThe towns have been getting smaller and smaller as we made our way down the line. I admire the decorations I see on the few houses we pass. As we approach Falchuck, the train is so much less crowded now. It takes only five minutes from there for the train to reach West Falchuck and as I step off the train I see the massive difference between here and Fox Hollow Central Station. No restaurants, fancy concourses, or antique architecture here. Just two platforms, a few benches, and a tiny shed meant to be the ticket office, though its usually closed most of the time. It was almost a year ago when I stood on the opposite platform, leaving for the city and getting away from my brother. Pulling myself together, I start walking down a flight of stairs to the street, and I find myself at a small residential street with only a few houses. A far cry from the big city I had just left. I started walking towards my old home, the names of the streets coming back to me, marveling at how small this town seemed to me now. I smile as memories of Rodya and I walking around here come into my mind. Going to school, going to the park, catching a train...It's crazy that I don't live here anymore. 20 minutes \n\nlater I approach the house. I take a deep breath and then I ring the bell.\n\n[i]Rodya's POV[/i]\n\nI'm finally home after a long day of work. I work at the registration office of the local community college now, the same one my brother used to work at. It's been awhile since he and I last talked. We agreed that when he left we would cut down on communication in order to help each other move on. I don't know whether or not it works for him, but it sure as fuck doesn't work for me. He's coming home for Xmas today and as excited, as I am to see him, I still feel a little nervous. I worry that things will still be weird between us once we see each other in person again. At least I know that mom and dad aren't coming. Apparently they each already had plans with friends and were just gonna send us a card in the mail. Just like last year and the year before that. So, I shouldn't be surprised. After all, I ``only existed because the condom broke'' and Malakai ``was only conceived because we didn't want you to be lonely and so we would look like your typical family.'' Those were the exact words our mother used the day our parents told us they were getting divorced.\n\nShaking off that terrible memory, I walk around the house and double check to see that it was Xmas-y enough. The tree was trimmed, Xmas cards on display, all of which are addressed to the both of us despite him not living here anymore, and all the knick-knacks my mom left were on display. I baked some sugar cookies too and got out some Xmas CDs out and a boom box turned on and ready to play some music. I hoped he would be in a good mood, but what if he wasn't? I now think of those last days he was here, the awkwardness, the tension, the fizzling out of our love, our last kiss and the last time we saw each other in person. Will he still be like that when we finally see each other in person again? When we talk on the phone, he seems fine, but what if in person is different? Tension and dread fills me and I begin to panic a bit. Somehow I pull myself together and remind myself that the only thing I can do now is wait and hope for the best.\n\nAn hour later, I hear the doorbell ring and I make my way to the door. I steady myself, take a deep breath, open the door, and see Malakai wearing a suit and tie and his suitcase standing upright next to him.\n\n[i]Malakai's POV[/i]\n\nI stare a bit as I see my brother in person again for the first time in what felt like an eternity. I stammer a bit before finally speaking up.\n\n``Merry Xmas, Rodya,'' I said.\n\n``Merry Xmas to you too, Malakai,'' he says back.\n\nI see him step forward and move his arms and for a moment. I think he is about to give me a hug. But then he stops and moves his arms back to his side and simply says, ``come on in.''\n\nI do so and I shut the door behind me, leaving my suitcase at the door.\n\n``So, um, care for some coffee?'' he says to me in a tone that suggested that he was unsure of himself. Was he nervous too?\n\n``Sure,'' I replied.\n\nI see him go into the kitchen and make us some coffee. He also brings out some cookies too. We each eat a cookie while drinking our coffee at the dining room table.\n\n``So what's new with you?'' he asks me.\n\n``Just living the city life. Yourself?'' he said. I didn't know how much I wanted to get into. How stressful my job was? My attempts at dating? So, I kept it simple. \n\n``Same as usual. Life in a small town and all that. I'm sure big city life has got to be pretty exciting,'' he asked.\n\n``It can be,'' I said, keeping my metaphorical cards close to my chest. Indeed there was fun to be had in the city, but for whatever reason I just didn't want to talk about it. Perhaps I was hoping I could just forget about my current life for the few days I would be here.\n\n``Of course, you and I had a lot of fun times here in this little town, did we not?'' I said.\n\n``Um, yeah. We sure, sure did,'' he said, shifting around in his seat, ``um want to watch something on TV.''\n\nWell, I guess he's not in the mood to walk down memory lane with me. Slightly disappointed, I excused my self to go get changed into my pajamas. I move my suitcase down to the basement, to my old room. A fuzzy, warm, nostalgic feeling fills me as I look at this room again. With just the tiniest pang of sadness tingeing those feelings too. Just like every other place in this town, in this house, even my brother evoked these feelings in me. Once I got changed into my pajamas, I walked back upstairs. Upon arriving, I see Rodya just staring off into the distance. I try a couple times to get his attention and after the third time he finally snaps out of it.\n\n``Oh, sorry. Um, I'll...um...get changed into my pajamas too,'' he said.\n\nI smile a bit and laugh. Am I really getting nostalgic over my brother zoning out? As he gets dressed I try to imagine what it exactly was he was daydreaming about. I knew it had to be about me. The thought of his brother taking his clothes off had sent his mind wandering. I feel weirdly proud that the thought of me getting undressed could trigger that in him.\n\nOnce Rodya came back with his pajamas on, we sat on the couch and watched TV. We didn't sit next to each other. I had thought about doing so, but I felt unsure if he would be okay with it or not. I couldn't tell if he was up for that level of closeness yet. I wasn't exactly sure if I was up for it yet either. So, we each sat on opposite ends of the couch. At one point he asked if I wanted to sit next to him, but I ultimately insisted that I was fine where I was. I felt torn between wanting us to fall back into our old routines like nothing happened or keep acting with caution. In a way it was like how it was in final weeks and months I lived here. I withheld intimacy and affection from him because I was upset with him, but now I withheld any signs of love and affection because I was afraid I would upset him. \n\nA couple hours later Rodya made us some pizza and we decided to watch a movie. As we sit and watch ``Port of the Vampires 2'' I am reminded of that fateful night that feels so long ago now, that night when my own brother held me in his sleep, unintentionally acting out a dream he was having. How wonderfully weird that was and was it also weird that a part of me hoped he would fall asleep again, so I could relive that moment. So I could have him hold me once more? But that didn't happen. Perhaps he was restraining himself. I could feel a tension between us, an awkward sort of tension as opposed to a sexual one. I don't think either of us knew how to act around each other anymore. Do we go back to touching and hugging each other? Do we let ourselves be vulnerable again? Or do we stay guarded? Why was I still denying my brother the affection I know he used to crave? What I used to crave? But does he even crave it anymore? He could've hugged me when he opened the door, but he stopped himself. Does he want affection from me, but is denying himself from having it for some reason? Am I doing the same thing? These thoughts distract me from the movie on screen and I simply couldn't concentrate on it. When the movie ends we get up and we're about to say goodnight to each other and go off to our rooms. Without really thinking it through, I put a paw around his waist and hold him close as I say good night to him.\n\nIt feels so good to feel his fur again, to be this close to him again. But as I look upon his face, I see a look of shock. I panic, regret flowing through my veins. I mutter out a flustered apology and walk away and go back down to my basement room to hide. \n\nI flopped onto my bed and sighed as I thought about what I had just done. I wasn't sure why I did that, but in the moment it was like an instinct. Yet, I had promised myself I wouldn't do things like that. How was I supposed to get over him and find a new boyfriend if I still did things like that?\n\nI turn my head and I see my old art book. I wonder if Rodya ever looked at it? I pick it up and flip it open to a random page. I see a drawing of myself and Rodya, laying down on some kind of blanket snuggled up together, staring deep into each other's eyes. I get a bit choked up as I see this, tears forming in my eyes. I weep. I weep for a relationship ideal that never happened. Sure for a time, I had him, but he was never truly mine. Just thinking about that makes me feel a twinge of resentment. I close the book and put it back on the shelf, though a part of me wants to go out in the backyard and set this book on fire. I then close my eyes and drift off to sleep hoping to sleep off the awkwardness and regret I was feeling.\n\nThe next day, Xmas Eve, we took a bus to downtown Falchuck. The town square was very much into the Xmas spirit, wreaths on the street lamps, Xmas lights everywhere and a big tree in the middle lit up with a bright yellow star on top. Vendors were selling an assortment of little trinkets and snacks many of which were discounted due to this being the market's last day. We could hear carolers singing during what would be their last performance of the season. I bought some homemade orange flavored candy bars and Rodya purchased some peppermint-flavored popcorn. We both bought some hot chocolate and walked around the market drinking and taking in the festive atmosphere of the place.\n\nThe vendors closed up shop at 5 PM and we took that as our cue to get going. As we waited for the bus, Rodya said to me, ``I got invited to come over to Denver's tonight. Do you wanna come with me? I told Denver you're in town and he said it was okay if I brought you. Or if you want I can tell him I'm not coming and you and I can just hang out tonight?''\n\n``No, I'm fine with going to Denver's with you. Don't ignore your friends, just to hang out with me,'' I said.\n\n``Alright. We'll take the bus to Denver's house then,'' he said.\n\nAnd so when we got on the bus we got off closer to Denver's street as opposed to our own, making it a shorter bus ride than it other wise would have been. We were just outside Denver's house when Rodya made an unexpected announcement.\n\n ``Hold on, I need to piss before we go in'', Rodya said. He then walked over to a bush and I could see him reaching for the fly on his jeans.\n\n``Seriously, Rodya?!'' I said walking up to him in disbelief.\n\n``Denver's cool with it. He and I pee out here all the time,'' he said.\n\n``But this is so public!'' I said, reminding him that we were still on the street and that anyone walking down it could see us. \n\n``It's no big deal, bro,'' he said, taking aim at the bush in front of him.\n\nI sigh and decide to just let him do it.\n\nI then heard the sound of his pee hitting the bush and I get tempted to look, to catch a quick glimpse of my brother's cock. My own cock throbs as I give into the temptation and catch a glimpse of my brother's dick, but I force myself to look away after a few seconds. I look around and make sure no one is seeing this. I then realize that I really shouldn't be shocked by Rodya's public urination. Has so much time passed that I forgot how much he loves pissing outdoors? I fight the urge to glimpse at his cock again. I'm not into piss, but it's been so long since I've seen his absolutely gorgeous dick. I give in once again and take a sneaky side-glance at his member, the urine still flowing from his cock.\n\n \n\n``If you have to go, you might as well do so here. Denver won't mind if you use his bush,'' he said.\n\n``I mean yeah, I do, but I can just wait and use the toilet,'' Malakai said.\n\n``True, but I bet you would feel a lot more comfortable if you just let it out right here,'' he said.\n\n``I don't know. Outdoor peeing was always more your thing,'' I said.\n\n``Oh come on, it's way more fun. Just whip it out and pee, bro,'' Rodya said.\n\nI wasn't sure if this was his intention or not, but I could hear an almost sultry, seductive tone to his voice when he said that last sentence. Regardless, I decided to say fuck it and urinate in public too. My bladder was getting pretty full and I guess it would be better to just get it over with instead of excusing myself to go use the toilet. So, just as my brother finished peeing, I unzipped my fly, whipped out my member and started pissing on the snow-covered bush in front of me. I do feel better letting it out on this bush instead of holding it in. As I melted the snow with my piss, I catch Rodya doing the same sneaky side-glance I was trying to pull off. I decide not to call him out on it. To let him watch me pee or look at my dick, whichever reason it was that Rodya was looking. Knowing him though, it was probably both. Once I had finished watering the bush I put my dick away and Rodya finally put his away too. It was hard when he put it away and perhaps mine grew hard too just from looking at his. Once we were presentable we walked up to Denver's door and give it a good knock.\n\nThe door opens and we see Denver wearing an ugly Xmas sweater and a Santa hat.\n\n``Merry Xmas boys!'' Denver said.\n\n``Merry Xmas to you too Denver!'' we said.\n\nWe step inside and see that he really went all out this year. The tree was fully decorated, wreaths and garland hanging up on the walls, and even stockings on the fireplace despite him living alone. He gave us each a piece of pumpkin pie and a glass of ginger ale as we sat at his dining room table catching up.\n\n``So what part of the city do you live in Malakai?'' Denver asked.\n\n``Northeast Fox Hollow on 79th Street,'' I said.\n\n``Ah, so near the Gayborhood, but not in it,'' Denver said, ``I used to love going to the Gayborhood, but I would never want to live there all the time.''\n\n``That's why I picked the place I did. The Gayborhood is pretty fun, but yeah it would be too much to actually live in it. Those club goers can get a bit out of hand sometimes,'' I said, leaving out the part that I wanted to be near the Gayborhood so I could find a boyfriend who isn't related to me.\n\nAt some point, Denver left the room to go wash the dishes and find a game for us to play. While Denver was out of the room, I could feel Rodya holding my paw. It felt warm, nice, and perhaps a bit...nostalgic? When Denver walked back into the room, Rodya immediately let my paw go and the blissful feeling fades. \n\nWe played a Xmas trivia game, with Rodya being declared the winner. After another round of drinks, Rodya and I decide to head home. Once we get back inside our own house, I turn to him and say, ``There's something I've been meaning to ask you, but I'm not sure how.''\n\n``Go ahead,'' Rodya said. \n\n``Rodya, do you still think about me in a romantic or sexual way?'' I ask, my voice trembling.\n\n``...Yes. Yes, I do,'' he said with a forlorn sigh, ``was I that obvious?''\n\nI chuckle a bit, and say, ``I mean a little bit. Between the zoning out, glancing at my dick while I was peeing, and the paw holding, I suspected that you perhaps you still were, you know...into me,'' I said.\n\n``Yes, I'm still into you. I never stopped being into you,'' he said.\n\nI pause as I take in his words, words that were tinged with a sense of longing and heartache.\n\n``I'm sorry about the way things ended between us. Being cold to you wasn't right, I know that now, I was just so upset I couldn't have you to myself that I kind of felt resentful,'' I said.\n\n``I get it. We both wanted different things. I shouldn't have been so pushy with the whole you finding a real boyfriend thing. I just wanted you to have a normal, happy life. I was the one who pushed you away and made you leave home,'' he said, his voice cracking, tears forming in his eyes.\n\n``And perhaps you were right to push me away. I like my life in the city. I'm still single, but hey nothing's perfect, right? I do miss you though. A lot,'' I said.\n\n``I miss you a lot too, Malakai,'' Rodya said.\n\nHe then moved closer to me and gave me a hug.\n\n``I will always love you, Rodya. Even if I do find a boyfriend and marry him, I will still love you,'' I said.\n\n``And I will always love you too, Malakai,'' my brother said.\n\nHe then pulls me into a kiss and I kiss him back, holding each other tight. I feel his paws move up and down my body and I do the same to his. I feel our cocks growing hard as they are pressed up against each other. When his paws reach my waist, I know what he wants and I want it to, so I break the kiss and say, ``let's do it, Rodya, just like old times.''\n\n``You don't know how long I've been hoping to hear you say that,'' he said to me, before kissing me again. He then undid my pants and pulled them all the way down along with my underwear, getting on his knees in the process. He touched my dick, his paw felt so good on my member. Then he blew me right where I stood. My brother held onto my waist as he sucked my cock. He then moved his paws downward and started rubbing my ass as he sucked my dick. The feel of his paws on my ass, his warm maw, and skilled tongue felt incredible, but it proved to be too much for me to handle as I shot my load much sooner than anticipated. My brother's eyes widened in as I shot what felt like buckets of cum down his throat. He swallowed it all though. When he removed his maw from my dick, I could see he still had my cum on his lips. I sat down in front of him and kissed him, licking my cum off his lips in the process.\n\n``Fuck, you're good, Rodya. Sorry I didn't last longer,'' I said.\n\n``It's fine, Malakai. I'm just enjoying this moment,'' he said.\n\n``How about I return the favor?'' I said.\n\n``I would love that,'' Rodya said, standing up and undoing his pants and pulling them down. I got on my knees, pulled his underwear down and began to play with his cock. I heard him moan as I jerked him off and I could see the precum leaking from his beautiful cock. Then I inserted it into my maw. I buried my face in his crotch as I sucked his dick, grabbing his ass just like he had done to me. I played with his balls a bit too as I sucked my brother's cock, his delicious precum on my tongue. I never realized how much I missed this until this moment. I could feel his paw behind my head, keeping it in place as I sucked his dick. It didn't take too long for me to make my brother cum, though he still lasted longer than I did. I swallowed every rope of cum he shot down my throat and it tasted so fucking good. When he finally finished unloading his cum down my throat, I pulled myself off of him and as I did so, his cum dribbled down from my lip. He licked it off of me and said, ``that was amazing, Malakai. Damn, I've missed this so fucking much.''\n\n``So do I bro, so do I,'' I said.\n\nWe kissed each other again and then laid down on the floor with our shirts still on and our pants around our ankles. We just laid there for awhile before I finally broke the silence.\n\n``So what do you want to do now?'' I said.\n\n``Wanna watch a movie?'' he said.\n\n``Sure,'' I replied, ``I'm gonna get changed back into my pajamas first though.''\n\n``I'm gonna do the same,'' he replied.\n\nAfter we got back into our pajamas, we watched a movie, but unlike last night we sat right next to each other. It felt nice to be close again, our arms around each other. The warmth had returned, our old bond reignited and the frosty, cautious facades had melted away. We fell asleep in each other's arms. I woke up some time later and realized that I hadn't put my presents for him under the tree yet. He was still asleep so I maneuvered out of his grasp and snuck away to the basement where I hid his presents. Once I found them I brought them back upstairs only to run into Rodya, who was also placing presents under the tree.\n\n``Wow, we had the same idea,'' he said.\n\n``Yep, but you still gotta wait until morning before you open them. Maybe you'll even get an extra surprise gift too,'' I said, in a seductive tone.\n\nRodya winked at me and said, ``and maybe I'll have an extra surprise gift for you too.''\n\nWe gave each other a kiss and then went off to our own rooms, visions of sugar plums and...something else dancing through my head as I drifted off to sleep.\n\n[i]Rodya's POV[/i] \n\nIt's Christmas morning and I haven't been this excited in a long time. I quick use the bathroom and brush my teeth before rushing downstairs to see Malakai already sitting by the tree waiting for me.\n\n``Merry Christmas, bro'' he said to me.\n\n``Merry Christmas to you too, bro,'' I said to him.\n\n``You open yours first,'' I said.\n\n``No, you open yours first,'' Malakai insisted.\n\nNot wanting to disappoint him, I opened mine first. I loved what he got me: a vintage copy of a schlocky horror movie entitled ``Farm of Death'', a new Philip Torrance album, and a stack of books by my favorite author. He opened his next and I loved seeing his face light up with joy when he opened them. He loved the computer history book I got him along with a vintage film camera, some video games, and a box of new old stock floppy disks. We embraced each other after we opened our gifts and kissed each other briefly before Malakai said, ``how about we put some music on?''\n\n``Sure,'' I replied and began playing some Xmas music on the boom box. Soon we were dancing around the dining room, holding each other close. Then things got a bit lewd when he moved his hands down my body and he slipped a paw in my pants and began feeling my butt.\n\n``Hey Rodya, I don't suppose you would be up for a little ass play would ya?'' my brother said to me.\n\n``I'm up for that,'' I said.\n\n``Great. And after I pound your ass, you can pound mine,'' Malakai said.\n\n``Sounds good to me,'' I said.\n\nWe turned off the music and we went into my bedroom. I got out the lube and condoms, and then we began to undress. Once we were totally naked, we kissed each other again and then I got into position on the bed, lifting my tail and presenting my tailhole to my brother. I felt his tongue press up against my hole. I could feel it circling around my hole before he tongue fucks me. I could feel it going deeper and deeper into my hole. Then I feel him remove his tongue from my ass and I hear him take the condom out of wrapper. Then I hear the sound of lube being squeezed out and I feel it being spread in and around my tailhole. Finally, I feel his dick poking my hole, slowly making its way inside. He entered me gently, carefully filling me before inserting his full length into me. His thrusts were gentle too. Once I felt my ass had adjusted enough to his dick, I asked him to go a bit faster and he did. I matched his thrusts by pushing back against his crotch. We had a good rhythm going on, him quickening the pace of his thrusts every so often and me pushing back. I moaned in pleasure as my brother slid in and out of my hole. I could hear him moan too and knew he was having as much pleasure as I was.\n\n``Oh yeah, you like getting fucked by your own brother don't you?'' Malakai said.\n\n``Fuck yeah, I do and I'm gonna make you cum inside me!'' I said.\n\nI clenched my ass and soon I could feel his dick pulsating and my brother moaning.\n\n``Fuck, you have a nice ass Rodya,'' he said, panting.\n\n``So do you, Malakai,'' I said.\n\nHe then pulled out of me and flopped onto the bed facing me.\n\n``Oh, I know you love my ass. You didn't cum yet, did you?'' he asked.\n\n``Nope, but just letting you know, I probably won't last long,'' I said.\n\n``That's okay. Just having you inside me again will be enough,'' he said, lifting his tail.\n\nI repositioned myself so I could get a better look at my brother's nice round ass. I spread his cheeks and then buried muzzle in his hole. I ate his ass as if it were groceries. Slipping my tongue inside him getting him all nice and wet. My hard dick throbbed. I needed to stick it in him badly. Putting on a condom and lubing myself and his hole up, I laid on top of him and I gently prodded his hole like he had done to me before slowly inserting it inside. It felt so nice to have my cock inside my brother's ass again. I held onto him as I thrusted in and out of him, making him feel every inch of my dick. I pulled out and asked him to get into a different position, wanting to fuck him from behind like he had done me. He obliged and now I was standing up at the edge of the bed while he was bent over in front of me. I carefully inserted my member back in and started fucking him from behind. His moans turned me on even more as I felt his walls hugging my dick. He matched my thrusts by pushing himself against me, his cheeks slamming against my crotch as I kept slamming my cock into his hole as deep as it would go. We kept at it, the rhythm feeling like pure bliss. Of all the sexual activities I have done with my brother, this was my favorite. My dick in his ass. Him bent over and begging me to keep fucking him and me happily doing so.\n\n``Fuck, Malakai, I'm gonna cum!'' I shouted. \n\n``Do it, Rodya! Cum in your brother's ass!'' he begged.\n\nAnd so I shot my load while my dick was still buried in my brother's amazing ass and I loved every fucking second of it. My brother and I moaned in pleasure, and after I had finished cumming, I carefully pulled out and flopped onto the bed. My brother rolled over and we both stared up at the ceiling. We just lied there, riding the high of our afterglows, not saying a word, just moaning. As the afterglow faded, I slowly began to realize what we had just done.\n\n``I never thought we would do that again,'' I said.\n\n``Same here,'' Malakai said.\n\n``Do you think it was wrong?'' I said.\n\n``Nope. Don't tell me your feeling guilty over incest again,'' Malakai said.\n\n``It's not about that. What I mean is...we swore off having sex with each other and now look at us,'' I said.\n\n``I know, but like I said it's just us having fun. So, we don't work as boyfriends, that's okay. We clearly still like having sex with each other. I wish I hadn't been such an idiot. We could have had tons of sex by now. You had the right idea, having a sexual relationship without all that boyfriend-y crap I kept trying to do. I love you Rodya, but I still want to have a boyfriend. Until I find Mr. Right, I'm totally open to us having sex with each other again. Let me know whenever you want another round,'' Malakai said.\n\n``Sure,'' I said, puzzled by what I had just heard. Malakai just told me that my way of thinking was right. He finally came around to the idea of us just having sex and saving the boyfriend stuff for other people. Of course, my idea also involved us still having sex on the side even after he found a boyfriend, but hey nothing's perfect. Better than nothing, right? I should be ecstatic about this, right?...right?\n\nWe spent the rest of the day, just hanging out and testing out our new presents. Denver came over at night and gave us each a present. We both got coffee mugs, each with their own saying on it. Mine said, ``I like my coffee hot like my men'' and Malakai's said, ``Don't bother me, I'm not awake yet.'' We both thought the sayings were kind of dumb, but we were too nice to tell him. We got the cards from our parents, the next day. Just generic ``Merry Xmas!'' cards with each one including one of those generic gift cards that could be used anywhere.\n\nThe night before Malakai left to go back to Fox Hollow, we were talking and finally I decided to ask the question that I was afraid to ask, ``So, will we be seeing each other more often?''\n\n``Yes, we will. I'm over how things ended between us and I realize that I really want to spend time with you more. I'm thinking maybe every other weekend I can take the train over and visit or maybe you could take the train over and visit me in the city. The train ride is long, but it's worth it to see you,'' Malakai said.\n\n``Sounds good to me. I've really missed you Malakai,'' I said.\n\n``I've really missed you too, Rodya,'' Malakai said.\n\nWe hugged and then went off to our own rooms to sleep.\n\nWhen I woke up the next morning, he was gone. I knew he had to get up earlier than me in order to catch his train, so I wasn't surprised to see him gone. Yet, as I walked around the house and the reality sank in that he was gone again, I felt a pang of sadness in my heart and I almost felt like breaking down and crying.\n\nI selfishly wished he didn't have that job in Fox Hollow; that he still worked at the local community college so he and I could live together again. As I ate breakfast, I looked across the table at the empty chair and wished he were sitting in it. As I changed into my work clothes, I wished he were in the room with me getting changed as well, maybe giving me a little peek at his naughty bits and perhaps give each other a quick blow job. And as I was about to walk out the door on my way to my own place of work, I could imagine us kissing each other deeply before going out and facing a world where we would have to hide our special brand of brotherly love and just be two dudes who happened to be brothers.\n\nBut at least I knew when he was coming back next and it was that knowledge that would get me through the next several days.\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Author's Note:  Well here it is, LLFMB is back!  Thanks to all my friends, watchers, and viewers, you guys rock!  This story will alternate between Malakai and Rodya's POVs.

Loving and Lusting for My Brother II


Chapter 1


Malakai's POV

It's 2:30 PM and here I am at Fox Hollow Central Station, holding my suitcase and waiting for the commuter train to take me back to my old home.  Work let us out early so we could all be with our families for Xmas.  It would seem however, that every office in the city had the same idea, as the waiting room was just as full now as it was in rush hour.  I live in the city, so I take the subway to get back to my apartment, but I always get on at this station's subway stop and see the suburbanites wait for their trains home.  And now I was one of them.  Fox Hollow Central is a huge, grand old station; its beige marble walls and golden chandeliers give it an air of being more fancy than it needs to be.  Finally, the boarding call came and I could now make my way down to the platform.

The train had managed to fill up once we arrived at the International Airport stop.  Fox Hollow International was the larger of Fox Hollow's two airports, but I was still surprised to see the train fill up going away from the city instead of towards it.  I guess this is what happens when you leave the day before Xmas Eve.  As we left the airport, we made our way through Fox Hollow's northeast suburbs.  In the distance I could see Mt. Kernon, now covered in freshly fallen snow.  It made me think of a time Rodya and I had gone skiing when we were younger.  He was so much better at it than I was.  Things were so different back then.  More carefree, more innocent, before things got....  Not gonna lie, I was still nervous about seeing him again.  But I wasn't not gonna visit my brother on Xmas, no matter how my heart still felt.

The towns have been getting smaller and smaller as we made our way down the line.  I admire the decorations I see on the few houses we pass.  As we approach Falchuck, the train is so much less crowded now.  It takes only five minutes from there for the train to reach West Falchuck and as I step off the train I see the massive difference between here and Fox Hollow Central Station.  No restaurants, fancy concourses, or antique architecture here.  Just two platforms, a few benches, and a tiny shed meant to be the ticket office, though its usually closed most of the time.  It was almost a year ago when I stood on the opposite platform, leaving for the city and getting away from my brother.  Pulling myself together, I start walking down a flight of stairs to the street, and I find myself at a small residential street with only a few houses.  A far cry from the big city I had just left.  I started walking towards my old home, the names of the streets coming back to me, marveling at how small this town seemed to me now.  I smile as memories of Rodya and I walking around here come into my mind.  Going to school, going to the park, catching a train...It's crazy that I don't live here anymore.  20 minutes

later I approach the house.  I take a deep breath and then I ring the bell.

Rodya's POV

I'm finally home after a long day of work.  I work at the registration office of the local community college now, the same one my brother used to work at.  It's been awhile since he and I last talked.  We agreed that when he left we would cut down on communication in order to help each other move on.  I don't know whether or not it works for him, but it sure as fuck doesn't work for me.  He's coming home for Xmas today and as excited, as I am to see him, I still feel a little nervous.  I worry that things will still be weird between us once we see each other in person again.  At least I know that mom and dad aren't coming.  Apparently they each already had plans with friends and were just gonna send us a card in the mail.  Just like last year and the year before that.  So, I shouldn't be surprised.  After all, I ``only existed because the condom broke'' and Malakai ``was only conceived because we didn't want you to be lonely and so we would look like your typical family.''  Those were the exact words our mother used the day our parents told us they were getting divorced.

Shaking off that terrible memory, I walk around the house and double check to see that it was Xmas-y enough.  The tree was trimmed, Xmas cards on display, all of which are addressed to the both of us despite him not living here anymore, and all the knick-knacks my mom left were on display.  I baked some sugar cookies too and got out some Xmas CDs out and a boom box turned on and ready to play some music. I hoped he would be in a good mood, but what if he wasn't?  I now think of those last days he was here, the awkwardness, the tension, the fizzling out of our love, our last kiss and the last time we saw each other in person.  Will he still be like that when we finally see each other in person again?  When we talk on the phone, he seems fine, but what if in person is different?  Tension and dread fills me and I begin to panic a bit.  Somehow I pull myself together and remind myself that the only thing I can do now is wait and hope for the best.

An hour later, I hear the doorbell ring and I make my way to the door.  I steady myself, take a deep breath, open the door, and see Malakai wearing a suit and tie and his suitcase standing upright next to him.

Malakai's POV

I stare a bit as I see my brother in person again for the first time in what felt like an eternity.  I stammer a bit before finally speaking up.

``Merry Xmas, Rodya,'' I said.

``Merry Xmas to you too, Malakai,'' he says back.

I see him step forward and move his arms and for a moment.  I think he is about to give me a hug.  But then he stops and moves his arms back to his side and simply says, ``come on in.''

I do so and I shut the door behind me, leaving my suitcase at the door.

``So, um, care for some coffee?'' he says to me in a tone that suggested that he was unsure of himself.  Was he nervous too?

``Sure,'' I replied.

I see him go into the kitchen and make us some coffee.  He also brings out some cookies too.  We each eat a cookie while drinking our coffee at the dining room table.

``So what's new with you?'' he asks me.

``Just living the city life.  Yourself?'' he said.  I didn't know how much I wanted to get into.  How stressful my job was?  My attempts at dating?  So, I kept it simple.

``Same as usual.  Life in a small town and all that.  I'm sure big city life has got to be pretty exciting,'' he asked.

``It can be,'' I said, keeping my metaphorical cards close to my chest.  Indeed there was fun to be had in the city, but for whatever reason I just didn't want to talk about it.  Perhaps I was hoping I could just forget about my current life for the few days I would be here.

``Of course, you and I had a lot of fun times here in this little town, did we not?'' I said.

``Um, yeah.  We sure, sure did,'' he said, shifting around in his seat, ``um want to watch something on TV.''

Well, I guess he's not in the mood to walk down memory lane with me.  Slightly disappointed, I excused my self to go get changed into my pajamas.  I move my suitcase down to the basement, to my old room.  A fuzzy, warm, nostalgic feeling fills me as I look at this room again.  With just the tiniest pang of sadness tingeing those feelings too.  Just like every other place in this town, in this house, even my brother evoked these feelings in me.  Once I got changed into my pajamas, I walked back upstairs.  Upon arriving, I see Rodya just staring off into the distance.  I try a couple times to get his attention and after the third time he finally snaps out of it.

``Oh, sorry.  Um, I'll...um...get changed into my pajamas too,'' he said.

I smile a bit and laugh.  Am I really getting nostalgic over my brother zoning out?  As he gets dressed I try to imagine what it exactly was he was daydreaming about.  I knew it had to be about me.  The thought of his brother taking his clothes off had sent his mind wandering.  I feel weirdly proud that the thought of me getting undressed could trigger that in him.

Once Rodya came back with his pajamas on, we sat on the couch and watched TV.  We didn't sit next to each other.  I had thought about doing so, but I felt unsure if he would be okay with it or not.  I couldn't tell if he was up for that level of closeness yet.  I wasn't exactly sure if I was up for it yet either.  So, we each sat on opposite ends of the couch.  At one point he asked if I wanted to sit next to him, but I ultimately insisted that I was fine where I was.  I felt torn between wanting us to fall back into our old routines like nothing happened or keep acting with caution.  In a way it was like how it was in final weeks and months I lived here.  I withheld intimacy and affection from him because I was upset with him, but now I withheld any signs of love and affection because I was afraid I would upset him.

A couple hours later Rodya made us some pizza and we decided to watch a movie.  As we sit and watch ``Port of the Vampires 2'' I am reminded of that fateful night that feels so long ago now, that night when my own brother held me in his sleep, unintentionally acting out a dream he was having.  How wonderfully weird that was and was it also weird that a part of me hoped he would fall asleep again, so I could relive that moment.  So I could have him hold me once more?  But that didn't happen.  Perhaps he was restraining himself.  I could feel a tension between us, an awkward sort of tension as opposed to a sexual one.  I don't think either of us knew how to act around each other anymore.  Do we go back to touching and hugging each other?  Do we let ourselves be vulnerable again?  Or do we stay guarded?  Why was I still denying my brother the affection I know he used to crave?  What I used to crave?  But does he even crave it anymore?  He could've hugged me when he opened the door, but he stopped himself.  Does he want affection from me, but is denying himself from having it for some reason?  Am I doing the same thing?  These thoughts distract me from the movie on screen and I simply couldn't concentrate on it.  When the movie ends we get up and we're about to say goodnight to each other and go off to our rooms.  Without really thinking it through, I put a paw around his waist and hold him close as I say good night to him.

It feels so good to feel his fur again, to be this close to him again.   But as I look upon his face, I see a look of shock.  I panic, regret flowing through my veins.  I mutter out a flustered apology and walk away and go back down to my basement room to hide.  

I flopped onto my bed and sighed as I thought about what I had just done.  I wasn't sure why I did that, but in the moment it was like an instinct.  Yet, I had promised myself I wouldn't do things like that.  How was I supposed to get over him and find a new boyfriend if I still did things like that?

I turn my head and I see my old art book.  I wonder if Rodya ever looked at it?  I pick it up and flip it open to a random page.  I see a drawing of myself and Rodya, laying down on some kind of blanket snuggled up together, staring deep into each other's eyes.  I get a bit choked up as I see this, tears forming in my eyes.  I weep.  I weep for a relationship ideal that never happened.  Sure for a time, I had him, but he was never truly mine.  Just thinking about that makes me feel a twinge of resentment.  I close the book and put it back on the shelf, though a part of me wants to go out in the backyard and set this book on fire.  I then close my eyes and drift off to sleep hoping to sleep off the awkwardness and regret I was feeling.

The next day, Xmas Eve, we took a bus to downtown Falchuck.  The town square was very much into the Xmas spirit, wreaths on the street lamps, Xmas lights everywhere and a big tree in the middle lit up with a bright yellow star on top.  Vendors were selling an assortment of little trinkets and snacks many of which were discounted due to this being the market's last day.  We could hear carolers singing during what would be their last performance of the season.  I bought some homemade orange flavored candy bars and Rodya purchased some peppermint-flavored popcorn.  We both bought some hot chocolate and walked around the market drinking and taking in the festive atmosphere of the place.

The vendors closed up shop at 5 PM and we took that as our cue to get going.  As we waited for the bus, Rodya said to me, ``I got invited to come over to Denver's tonight.  Do you wanna come with me?  I told Denver you're in town and he said it was okay if I brought you.  Or if you want I can tell him I'm not coming and you and I can just hang out tonight?''

``No, I'm fine with going to Denver's with you.  Don't ignore your friends, just to hang out with me,'' I said.

``Alright.  We'll take the bus to Denver's house then,'' he said.

And so when we got on the bus we got off closer to Denver's street as opposed to our own, making it a shorter bus ride than it other wise would have been.  We were just outside Denver's house when Rodya made an unexpected announcement.

 ``Hold on, I need to piss before we go in'', Rodya said.  He then walked over to a bush and I could see him reaching for the fly on his jeans.

``Seriously, Rodya?!'' I said walking up to him in disbelief.

``Denver's cool with it.  He and I pee out here all the time,'' he said.

``But this is so public!'' I said, reminding him that we were still on the street and that anyone walking down it could see us.

``It's no big deal, bro,'' he said, taking aim at the bush in front of him.

I sigh and decide to just let him do it.

I then heard the sound of his pee hitting the bush and I get tempted to look, to catch a quick glimpse of my brother's cock.  My own cock throbs as I give into the temptation and catch a glimpse of my brother's dick, but I force myself to look away after a few seconds. I look around and make sure no one is seeing this.  I then realize that I really shouldn't be shocked by Rodya's public urination.  Has so much time passed that I forgot how much he loves pissing outdoors?  I fight the urge to glimpse at his cock again.  I'm not into piss, but it's been so long since I've seen his absolutely gorgeous dick.  I give in once again and take a sneaky side-glance at his member, the urine still flowing from his cock.

 

``If you have to go, you might as well do so here.  Denver won't mind if you use his bush,'' he said.

``I mean yeah, I do, but I can just wait and use the toilet,'' Malakai said.

``True, but I bet you would feel a lot more comfortable if you just let it out right here,'' he said.

``I don't know.  Outdoor peeing was always more your thing,'' I said.

``Oh come on, it's way more fun.  Just whip it out and pee, bro,'' Rodya said.

I wasn't sure if this was his intention or not, but I could hear an almost sultry, seductive tone to his voice when he said that last sentence.  Regardless, I decided to say fuck it and urinate in public too. My bladder was getting pretty full and I guess it would be better to just get it over with instead of excusing myself to go use the toilet.  So, just as my brother finished peeing, I unzipped my fly, whipped out my member and started pissing on the snow-covered bush in front of me.  I do feel better letting it out on this bush instead of holding it in.  As I melted the snow with my piss, I catch Rodya doing the same sneaky side-glance I was trying to pull off.  I decide not to call him out on it.  To let him watch me pee or look at my dick, whichever reason it was that Rodya was looking.  Knowing him though, it was probably both.  Once I had finished watering the bush I put my dick away and Rodya finally put his away too.  It was hard when he put it away and perhaps mine grew hard too just from looking at his.  Once we were presentable we walked up to Denver's door and give it a good knock.

The door opens and we see Denver wearing an ugly Xmas sweater and a Santa hat.

``Merry Xmas boys!'' Denver said.

``Merry Xmas to you too Denver!'' we said.

We step inside and see that he really went all out this year.  The tree was fully decorated, wreaths and garland hanging up on the walls, and even stockings on the fireplace despite him living alone.  He gave us each a piece of pumpkin pie and a glass of ginger ale as we sat at his dining room table catching up.

``So what part of the city do you live in Malakai?'' Denver asked.

``Northeast Fox Hollow on 79th Street,'' I said.

``Ah, so near the Gayborhood, but not in it,'' Denver said, ``I used to love going to the Gayborhood, but I would never want to live there all the time.''

``That's why I picked the place I did.  The Gayborhood is pretty fun, but yeah it would be too much to actually live in it.  Those club goers can get a bit out of hand sometimes,'' I said, leaving out the part that I wanted to be near the Gayborhood so I could find a boyfriend who isn't related to me.

At some point, Denver left the room to go wash the dishes and find a game for us to play.  While Denver was out of the room, I could feel Rodya holding my paw.  It felt warm, nice, and perhaps a bit...nostalgic?  When Denver walked back into the room, Rodya immediately let my paw go and the blissful feeling fades.

We played a Xmas trivia game, with Rodya being declared the winner. After another round of drinks, Rodya and I decide to head home.  Once we get back inside our own house, I turn to him and say, ``There's something I've been meaning to ask you, but I'm not sure how.''

``Go ahead,'' Rodya said.

``Rodya, do you still think about me in a romantic or sexual way?'' I ask, my voice trembling.

``...Yes.  Yes, I do,'' he said with a forlorn sigh, ``was I that obvious?''

I chuckle a bit, and say, ``I mean a little bit.  Between the zoning out, glancing at my dick while I was peeing, and the paw holding, I suspected that you perhaps you still were, you know...into me,'' I said.

``Yes, I'm still into you.  I never stopped being into you,'' he said.

I pause as I take in his words, words that were tinged with a sense of longing and heartache.

``I'm sorry about the way things ended between us.  Being cold to you wasn't right, I know that now, I was just so upset I couldn't have you to myself that I kind of felt resentful,'' I said.

``I get it.  We both wanted different things.  I shouldn't have been so pushy with the whole you finding a real boyfriend thing.  I just wanted you to have a normal, happy life.  I was the one who pushed you away and made you leave home,'' he said, his voice cracking, tears forming in his eyes.

``And perhaps you were right to push me away.  I like my life in the city.  I'm still single, but hey nothing's perfect, right?  I do miss you though.  A lot,'' I said.

``I miss you a lot too, Malakai,'' Rodya said.

He then moved closer to me and gave me a hug.

``I will always love you, Rodya.  Even if I do find a boyfriend and marry him, I will still love you,'' I said.

``And I will always love you too, Malakai,'' my brother said.

He then pulls me into a kiss and I kiss him back, holding each other tight.  I feel his paws move up and down my body and I do the same to his.  I feel our cocks growing hard as they are pressed up against each other.  When his paws reach my waist, I know what he wants and I want it to, so I break the kiss and say, ``let's do it, Rodya, just like old times.''

``You don't know how long I've been hoping to hear you say that,'' he said to me, before kissing me again.  He then undid my pants and pulled them all the way down along with my underwear, getting on his knees in the process.  He touched my dick, his paw felt so good on my member.  Then he blew me right where I stood.  My brother held onto my waist as he sucked my cock.  He then moved his paws downward and started rubbing my ass as he sucked my dick.  The feel of his paws on my ass, his warm maw, and skilled tongue felt incredible, but it proved to be too much for me to handle as I shot my load much sooner than anticipated.  My brother's eyes widened in as I shot what felt like buckets of cum down his throat.  He swallowed it all though.  When he removed his maw from my dick, I could see he still had my cum on his lips.  I sat down in front of him and kissed him, licking my cum off his lips in the process.

``Fuck, you're good, Rodya.  Sorry I didn't last longer,'' I said.

``It's fine, Malakai.  I'm just enjoying this moment,'' he said.

``How about I return the favor?'' I said.

``I would love that,'' Rodya said, standing up and undoing his pants and pulling them down.  I got on my knees, pulled his underwear down and began to play with his cock.  I heard him moan as I jerked him off and I could see the precum leaking from his beautiful cock.  Then I inserted it into my maw.  I buried my face in his crotch as I sucked his dick, grabbing his ass just like he had done to me.  I played with his balls a bit too as I sucked my brother's cock, his delicious precum on my tongue.  I never realized how much I missed this until this moment.  I could feel his paw behind my head, keeping it in place as I sucked his dick.  It didn't take too long for me to make my brother cum, though he still lasted longer than I did.  I swallowed every rope of cum he shot down my throat and it tasted so fucking good.  When he finally finished unloading his cum down my throat, I pulled myself off of him and as I did so, his cum dribbled down from my lip.  He licked it off of me and said, ``that was amazing, Malakai.  Damn, I've missed this so fucking much.''

``So do I bro, so do I,'' I said.

We kissed each other again and then laid down on the floor with our shirts still on and our pants around our ankles.  We just laid there for awhile before I finally broke the silence.

``So what do you want to do now?'' I said.

``Wanna watch a movie?'' he said.

``Sure,'' I replied, ``I'm gonna get changed back into my pajamas first though.''

``I'm gonna do the same,'' he replied.

After we got back into our pajamas, we watched a movie, but unlike last night we sat right next to each other.  It felt nice to be close again, our arms around each other.  The warmth had returned, our old bond reignited and the frosty, cautious facades had melted away.  We fell asleep in each other's arms.   I woke up some time later and realized that I hadn't put my presents for him under the tree yet.  He was still asleep so I maneuvered out of his grasp and snuck away to the basement where I hid his presents.  Once I found them I brought them back upstairs only to run into Rodya, who was also placing presents under the tree.

``Wow, we had the same idea,'' he said.

``Yep, but you still gotta wait until morning before you open them.  Maybe you'll even get an extra surprise gift too,'' I said, in a seductive tone.

Rodya winked at me and said, ``and maybe I'll have an extra surprise gift for you too.''

We gave each other a kiss and then went off to our own rooms, visions of sugar plums and...something else dancing through my head as I drifted off to sleep.

Rodya's POV

It's Christmas morning and I haven't been this excited in a long time.  I quick use the bathroom and brush my teeth before rushing downstairs to see Malakai already sitting by the tree waiting for me.

``Merry Christmas, bro'' he said to me.

``Merry Christmas to you too, bro,'' I said to him.

``You open yours first,'' I said.

``No, you open yours first,'' Malakai insisted.

Not wanting to disappoint him, I opened mine first.  I loved what he got me: a vintage copy of a schlocky horror movie entitled ``Farm of Death'', a new Philip Torrance album, and a stack of books by my favorite author.  He opened his next and I loved seeing his face light up with joy when he opened them.  He loved the computer history book I got him along with a vintage film camera, some video games, and a box of new old stock floppy disks.  We embraced each other after we opened our gifts and kissed each other briefly before Malakai said, ``how about we put some music on?''

``Sure,'' I replied and began playing some Xmas music on the boom box.  Soon we were dancing around the dining room, holding each other close.  Then things got a bit lewd when he moved his hands down my body and he slipped a paw in my pants and began feeling my butt.

``Hey Rodya, I don't suppose you would be up for a little ass play would ya?'' my brother said to me.

``I'm up for that,'' I said.

``Great.  And after I pound your ass, you can pound mine,'' Malakai said.

``Sounds good to me,'' I said.

We turned off the music and we went into my bedroom.  I got out the lube and condoms, and then we began to undress.  Once we were totally naked, we kissed each other again and then I got into position on the bed, lifting my tail and presenting my tailhole to my brother.  I felt his tongue press up against my hole.  I could feel it circling around my hole before he tongue fucks me.  I could feel it going deeper and deeper into my hole.  Then I feel him remove his tongue from my ass and I hear him take the condom out of wrapper.  Then I hear the sound of lube being squeezed out and I feel it being spread in and around my tailhole.  Finally, I feel his dick poking my hole, slowly making its way inside.  He entered me gently, carefully filling me before inserting his full length into me.  His thrusts were gentle too.  Once I felt my ass had adjusted enough to his dick, I asked him to go a bit faster and he did.  I matched his thrusts by pushing back against his crotch.  We had a good rhythm going on, him quickening the pace of his thrusts every so often and me pushing back.  I moaned in pleasure as my brother slid in and out of my hole.  I could hear him moan too and knew he was having as much pleasure as I was.

``Oh yeah, you like getting fucked by your own brother don't you?'' Malakai said.

``Fuck yeah, I do and I'm gonna make you cum inside me!'' I said.

I clenched my ass and soon I could feel his dick pulsating and my brother moaning.

``Fuck, you have a nice ass Rodya,'' he said, panting.

``So do you, Malakai,'' I said.

He then pulled out of me and flopped onto the bed facing me.

``Oh, I know you love my ass.  You didn't cum yet, did you?'' he asked.

``Nope, but just letting you know, I probably won't last long,'' I said.

``That's okay.  Just having you inside me again will be enough,'' he said, lifting his tail.

I repositioned myself so I could get a better look at my brother's nice round ass.  I spread his cheeks and then buried muzzle in his hole.  I ate his ass as if it were groceries.  Slipping my tongue inside him getting him all nice and wet.  My hard dick throbbed.  I needed to stick it in him badly.  Putting on a condom and lubing myself and his hole up, I laid on top of him and I gently prodded his hole like he had done to me before slowly inserting it inside.  It felt so nice to have my cock inside my brother's ass again.  I held onto him as I thrusted in and out of him, making him feel every inch of my dick.  I pulled out and asked him to get into a different position, wanting to fuck him from behind like he had done me.  He obliged and now I was standing up at the edge of the bed while he was bent over in front of me.  I carefully inserted my member back in and started fucking him from behind.  His moans turned me on even more as I felt his walls hugging my dick.  He matched my thrusts by pushing himself against me, his cheeks slamming against my crotch as I kept slamming my cock into his hole as deep as it would go.  We kept at it, the rhythm feeling like pure bliss.  Of all the sexual activities I have done with my brother, this was my favorite.  My dick in his ass.  Him bent over and begging me to keep fucking him and me happily doing so.

``Fuck, Malakai, I'm gonna cum!'' I shouted.  

``Do it, Rodya!  Cum in your brother's ass!'' he begged.

And so I shot my load while my dick was still buried in my brother's amazing ass and I loved every fucking second of it.  My brother and I moaned in pleasure, and after I had finished cumming, I carefully pulled out and flopped onto the bed.  My brother rolled over and we both stared up at the ceiling.  We just lied there, riding the high of our afterglows, not saying a word, just moaning.  As the afterglow faded, I slowly began to realize what we had just done.

``I never thought we would do that again,'' I said.

``Same here,'' Malakai said.

``Do you think it was wrong?'' I said.

``Nope.  Don't tell me your feeling guilty over incest again,'' Malakai said.

``It's not about that.  What I mean is...we swore off having sex with each other and now look at us,'' I said.

``I know, but like I said it's just us having fun.  So, we don't work as boyfriends, that's okay.  We clearly still like having sex with each other.  I wish I hadn't been such an idiot.  We could have had tons of sex by now.  You had the right idea, having a sexual relationship without all that boyfriend-y crap I kept trying to do.  I love you Rodya, but I still want to have a boyfriend.  Until I find Mr. Right, I'm totally open to us having sex with each other again.  Let me know whenever you want another round,'' Malakai said.

``Sure,'' I said, puzzled by what I had just heard.  Malakai just told me that my way of thinking was right.  He finally came around to the idea of us just having sex and saving the boyfriend stuff for other people.  Of course, my idea also involved us still having sex on the side even after he found a boyfriend, but hey nothing's perfect.  Better than nothing, right?  I should be ecstatic about this, right?...right?

We spent the rest of the day, just hanging out and testing out our new presents.  Denver came over at night and gave us each a present.  We both got coffee mugs, each with their own saying on it.  Mine said, ``I like my coffee hot like my men'' and Malakai's said, ``Don't bother me, I'm not awake yet.''  We both thought the sayings were kind of dumb, but we were too nice to tell him.  We got the cards from our parents, the next day.  Just generic ``Merry Xmas!'' cards with each one including one of those generic gift cards that could be used anywhere.

The night before Malakai left to go back to Fox Hollow, we were talking and finally I decided to ask the question that I was afraid to ask, ``So, will we be seeing each other more often?''

``Yes, we will.  I'm over how things ended between us and I realize that I really want to spend time with you more.  I'm thinking maybe every other weekend I can take the train over and visit or maybe you could take the train over and visit me in the city.  The train ride is long, but it's worth it to see you,'' Malakai said.

``Sounds good to me.  I've really missed you Malakai,'' I said.

``I've really missed you too, Rodya,'' Malakai said.

We hugged and then went off to our own rooms to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, he was gone.  I knew he had to get up earlier than me in order to catch his train, so I wasn't surprised to see him gone.  Yet, as I walked around the house and the reality sank in that he was gone again, I felt a pang of sadness in my heart and I almost felt like breaking down and crying.

I selfishly wished he didn't have that job in Fox Hollow; that he still worked at the local community college so he and I could live together again.  As I ate breakfast, I looked across the table at the empty chair and wished he were sitting in it.  As I changed into my work clothes, I wished he were in the room with me getting changed as well, maybe giving me a little peek at his naughty bits and perhaps give each other a quick blow job.  And as I was about to walk out the door on my way to my own place of work, I could imagine us kissing each other deeply before going out and facing a world where we would have to hide our special brand of brotherly love and just be two dudes who happened to be brothers.

But at least I knew when he was coming back next and it was that knowledge that would get me through the next several days.

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