"Sandwiches!" "Dungballs and ravioli?" "I say, scatty noodles!" "That's stupid." Voices chattered in the midst of a conference room around a long, ovular table. Thirteen bodies, all from various backgrounds and ideals sat (or stood; some were just too big for the modernized productivity chairs. I sat at the head of the table with a big flatscreen television behind me, staring between squishy dungfingers at my employees. I'd recently been granted ownership of the Dragon Dung Diner; an established purveyor of fecally consumable materials. And here I was, wondering about business strategies and our new and improved menu. "We need something BIGGER. Better than these fast-food lame-ass places that have no style; no grace or anything." I slammed my fists on the table, sending a small splatter of poop all over the stained oak. The mud in my chair stirred, and everyone in the room suddenly shut up, except for a certain Ursaring who went by Cookies. "What if we serve the customers ourselves? Like; full-tour kinda stuff?" he piped up, to which I gave a cutting glare, and he piped down again. "We're not the Dragon VORE Diner, Cookies. That's a good idea, but let's make it ala carte." I peered over towards the coffee-colored meerkat sitting at my right next. "Oh um… hmm. How about a dungpile? Where our biggest employees make a huge mess all over the patrons! And then they have to eat their way out." Kyouti spoke meekly, only because he knew his words would give me a work boner, and work boners typically involved utilizing employees to satiate it. I simply nodded and pointed over to Min; a skunk I'd more recently hired. "You; go. Give me something pooey." I barked at the demon, and got another meek response: "I don't know; maybe just dungburgers or something!" Min whined; I guffawed. "There's already Poo Patties on the menu, skunk." I kept up the charade and pointed at the next victim: a rather large and very dark Reshiram going by Rezura. "Well… how about just naming a big platter 'Coprolith'? And then we all shit into it and make a challenge out of it." I nodded a bit more intently this time - Rez was good with coming up with fancy names. I opened the floor for some more appetizer and entree ideas; listening and writing them down on my poop-proof tablet. (Gotta keep the tech safe, y'know?) The others in the room apart from those mentioned above consisted of a large, (typically) giantess human, who squatted in the corner. She was a bit too large to use a seat, but not large enough to be too big for the room. Eellie squatted next to Riley, who wore diapers all the time to work. He typically took care of smaller, carry-out orders, and he came up with the design for our logo as well. His small, pre-Lucario self sat in the chair next to a large, yet polite Australian dragon. The yellow drake gave Riley his inspiration for the logo, too. He typically answered to Praethius, but dragonbutt usually did the trick. Heck, we even put that on the menu too. Praethius had his forepaws on the table next to Silent. The gray alien piped up all of a sudden and pointed at Min rather quickly, driving his chair back into the wall behind him. "Slutty Demon Sploot! This one thinks it'll be a steamy end to a hot night." He cackled while Min looked like he'd seen a ghost! "O-oh…! N-no-no way! Vec--" "It's a great idea." I grabbed my tablet and filed it under 'Drinks'. Min and Silent sat back down again, with the former showing a touch of worry in his face. Rez shuffled about, and Yowwie yawned quite loudly, scratching his big, bubbly butt. He was a zonz, and a rather filthy one at that. He usually played the let-me-take-you-to-your-table role. Occasionally he'd flick up his rump and push out some filthy crap, too; but he was generally the one I had to spurn to do so when we were running hot and needed some extra help. "Oy; use some of them Pokemon move names, like Sludge Wave or somethin'." Yowwie huffed and moved his big-ass feet under the floor about, and I took some more notes. He sat next to a blue Mewtwo named Sagi. Sagi was the epitomy of slut - he tended to the patrons who'd have massive bowel movements mid-dinner when the septic tanks were full. That, and he'd eaten everybody's shit from the restaurant at least once. (I have too, but that's just a matter of ownership - gotta make sure everybody's prime cut for the job!) "Mrow; you multiply poop, right Vec? Make a Tricky Turd! It's just a little pebble when it's served, but once you eat it it bloats out and gives you terrible gas. And then it just keeps growing and growing until you shit it all --" I cut him off before I had to cut off my dungy boner under the table. Riley smirk-chuckled under his breath while Sid's voice came to bear. He's curious, as he shapeshifts from time to time (right now he's a typical brown otter). A customer complained when he plunked his butt on their table after they'd already gotten their food, but he was still good to have around. "Ooh ooh. How about a drinkable fart of some kind?" He chimed in, and I stared curiously back at his idea. "A drinkable fart? How would you go about doing that? Everest?" I called on the little hoppy dragon much smaller than Praethius in the chair second closest to my right, as he'd had quite a bit of scientific work done to him (and his brain, for that matter). "You just have to *pppppllllrbt* into a bottle, set up a drip stand, reroute power through a couple tubes, exponentially revise the way that atoms of methane and hydrogen sulfide bond to one anoth --" "I-'ll let you draw up the blueprints on that one, Einstein." Everybody half-chuckled while the little dragon sat back down in his booster-seated chair. I peered up at the clock - 9:30am. The meeting had hardly lasted thirty minutes, and I could feel the tension in the air. I did some gestures on my tablet, and the big TV behind me buzzed to life - on it was displayed our menu, and I decided to modify the server fields for each item. My business model was based around my employees. "You know our motto - 'Everybody poops: but not all the same way.' Who wants to do appetizers today?" I pressed a little red button on my tablet, and the ceiling above opened up to a small vacuum tube. The tube deposited a tinted green plastic bottle with a powdery substance inside it colored slightly lighter than the bottle itself. It was labeled "Appetizers". The big yellow dragon decided that he and his Australian counterpart should take part in that aspect of it. Cookies opened the bottle and used the cap to meter out a dose of the stuff, and poured it into Praethius's maw soon after. It was a touch bittersweet, but nothing the yellow dragon couldn't handle. He did make a face, though. Cookies did the same, not as privy to bittersweet but he ate it all the same. The material they'd just swallowed was essentially super-compressed freeze-dried food: a tablespoon was enough to produce loads of dung many, many times larger than the uncompressed portion! (Think of it as Metamucil on steroids on performance enhancing drugs.) I simply grinned and went down the list - Min and Everest would take to the drinks. Rezura took to the breakfast menu, and Yow took to his usual, lazy role of guiding customers to their tables. Kyouti and Sid took to the lunch & dinner crowd, and Sagi was on desserts. Eellie was going to play take-out alongside Riley today. Everyone had their own mixture of powder to take, and each dose was like devouring a thousand times what you'd get at a normal restaurant. Silent was the only one that couldn't take a full dose - he usually played cleanup alongside Sagi when customers were done eating. On a day like today, I'd put him outside to advertise (and to deal with the usual line of customers we got). I looked at my tablet again; close to 10:30 am - opening time. My stomach bubbled with excitement (and last night's dinner) while everyone else felt the bloat of a hard day's work growing in their intestinal tracts. (And possibly last night's dinner too.) Outside, it was a cool but warm summer day, with a gentle breeze blowing amidst the clouds that obscured the sun every so often. Everyone piled out to the backroom to toss on aprons that typically obscured their junk. Eellie was the only one that didn't have to do so; I hadn't ordered one made since I wasn't expecting one of her stature to apply! Nevertheless, we'd already had a line. Silent stepped outside, turning on the neon 'Open' sign to about fifty customer's approval! They came from all walks of life; all manner of birth, and all levels of hungry. This would be day one of our operation, but we'd already gained infamy in Cleveland from being around for so long. The local news crews had come in to videotape our move and re-opening when we needed a slightly bigger space. I remember the headline fondly: "Dragon Dung Diner deliciously defecates drinks, dreams and decaf to Ohio". Somebody knew I liked alliteration; for sure! Silent opened the door, and patrons quickly poured in with Yowwie's help into booths. Everyone else was on standby mode right now. The diner itself was situated in a tall, ancient building that had stood for a hundred and fifty years - it used to be an old dentist's office. I had it remodeled, and now it was a long, wide hallway that someone with twice my waist could fit down easily. We had sixteen booths and a large party room to seat guests - just shy of a hundred people could fit indoors. The booths were appropriately painted brown and green, along with naturally brown and treated oak tables. The party room had brown, cushy chairs, and a couple track lamps ran across the ceiling inside. I stood off to the side of the podium that Yowwie was rushing back and forth from, quickly getting our customers seated and comfortable. Each booth had its own little touchscreen with our menu situated on it, which both caught a customer's eye and helped them visually represent what kind of dump they'd be partaking of. They also helped with the serving bit as well; they just needed to tap what they wanted, and the screen popped up with who would be serving the 'food'. A regular set of businessmen who attended had their order pop up first - to start, they wanted a platter of Dookie Rolls. Praethius and Cookies immediately perked up and walked over to the table, greeting the green and orange dragons politely and immediately turning their butts to face the two patrons. The wall next to the booth suddenly opened up, revealing a small conveyor belt that ejected two large dishplates that slid across the wooden table and came to rest precisely in the center. Cookies let a gross-sounding fart out of his butt while the businessmen went about their daily routine, chatting about stocks and investments and such. The Ursaring's butthole bulged rather girthily as he pumped out a set of chunky, yet manageable turds that plonked over neatly on the plate behind him. The businessmen politely thanked the duo for their appetizer while the yellow dragon did the same; except he extruded a MUCH larger turd, and only one instead of two. It was thicker, but essentially between the two dumps it was about the same amount of fecal matter. Praethius clenched off his turd, saving the rest for the next customer to order something else. Cookies helped him to turn around while the two men took a few trite bites into their starters. Another order popped up - a bunch of college-aged kids wanted some freshly baked Biscuits and Gravy, and Rezura took to them with ease. The big, rounded Reshiram lifted his tail, and the machinery in the walls completed its action just seconds before he let loose. Thick, gooey balls of dung plopped out of Rez's anus while he stood on his tiptoes, gently humming to himself while pooping such a greasy, grimy load. The customers salivated, and I just smiled to myself while I watched him go. The 'gravy' was the best part - peanut butter colored filth gushed out after every loaf, coating the brown biscuits in a steamy, savory and exceptionally bitter glaze… not to mention the stench. The entire restaurant stunk quite horribly on a daily basis, but that usually provided a good bit of atmosphere. The kids dug into their filling, beefy meal, and Rez had to produce a double order of the stuff! The day continued much like this, with Rez pulling more than his weight, rushing between pumping out Waffle Farts to drizzling his ass gravy over a hot, bubbling cup of Everest's Extensively Ex-cargo. (It's a drink name; I let everyone put their name on a menu item.) The little dragon floated about alongside Min, who was much more shy and needed a bit of push to get him to piss into a glass for a customer. He eventually loosened up and came many times that morning; stirred into iced shakes and sugared with a bit of Everest's saliva. Time passed, and many more customers were served. Eellie and Riley had to move outside to help the takeout crowd, taking along the stretchy diapers we used to seal up one's meal. Those two also had to nom breakfast, lunch and dinner out of those that consumed said powder earlier - in short, if a customer wanted a dinner entree, the Riolu would have to eat out of the meerkat's rump. THAT was definitely fun to watch as well: Riley choked down a Chunky Burger out of Kyou's rear end and suddenly exploded it right back out seconds later into his diaper. He'd take it off and issue a polite 'Thank you, come again~' while Eellie took care of the check for said customer. They'd switch off occasionally for those customers who had a BIG appetite… mmph. (If only I could fap at work…) It was getting later in the day by that time, and Sid had his butt in a customer's face. Obviously Cleveland Steamers were on the menu, but you had to choke down a mass of shit before you'd get that - the poor kitten guy came twice before he gave Sid the thumbs up to get him off. The otter unleashed a torrent of muddy, watery dung all over his chest in the booth over the cat's chest and face shortly afterward. "I'll be more than glad to put 40% of this as a tip, sir." Sid chimed in after the cat gave him his credit card, gleefully walking over to Yowwie to finish off that order and move onto the next. The restaurant looked like a mess hall (ha, got that pun in there, suck it!) towards 4pm - two hours to truck through. Riley and Eellie had slowed down with their diaper usage and came back inside to replace some plates with poopy paddings instead. The bathrooms were filthy - Sagi had been completely painted brown, green, orange; hell, even rainbow turds landed in his lap from some pink unicorn that decided to show up. Silent was no better off; he was sucking some behemoth's dick, draining his fat member of its fluids. Dangerous, but he'd soon get a steamy meal right back out of the beast shortly after. The Vanguard shuddered when a massive cascade of gritty feces poured down his throat, over his cock and between his buttcheeks. Sagi had the pleasure of a tag team of gryphons with already filled bowels - they liked to come in and cause trouble sometimes. I usually just let them take their dumps, but I had to chase them out once for stealing some of our Dookie Bags. (Yes, even the diapers are named; shoot me~) Closing time! Another successful day; almost six thousand dollars in sales! We all piled back into the conference room for a post-op breakdown of how we did, and Rezura couldn't stop farting. Nobody wanted the Cheesy Bungs today, and those usually gave him terrible gas. It still made Everest giggle a little bit while Cookies continued to play with his dragon friend, Praethius. "My butt hurts, Vec. And my dick." Min whined and panted while his tailhole spewed shit all over the back of his chair; unable to contain his demonic dookie donut behind him. "Sounds like a personal problem." I replied at him, instructing Sagi to open his mouth and inhale Min's dung while the meeting continued. "Oh oh, I filled so many diapers today~" The big, human giantess snickered and crinkled in the corner; still doing much of the same to the inside of her residual padding. "This one enjoys his job! This one ate a lot of poop." Silent stood on the table, squatting all of a sudden and pushing his butt out towards my end of the furniture. "I'm with Min; my butt's sore too." Kyouti piped up and rubbed his tush, painted deep brown around his tush. Yowwie farted, and everyone looked at him passing gas in his doze. He was prone to narcolepsy at times; which left his butt open more often than not. He snorted back awake and stopped gassing the room, though. "Five dollars per shit? Yer a regular slutlord, Vec." He slurred the m a little bit that he probably meant to pronounce while he drifted back into a drool-ridden doze. I just snickered and peered through Silent's legs while he built up a black pile of alien muck on my tablet. Praethius made gestures that seemed like he enjoyed re-grand opening day, which involved a rather silly gesture of him shoving his finger through an O he made with his other forepaw whilst blowing a raspberry. (It wasn't really a raspberry; his tongue didn't move at all. He just farted really wetly.) "Alright alright. So, good day was good. Min's got the right idea though; we need to purge alllll this poop." "But where? There's *ngh* so much of it…" Min grumpily added while Sagi's loud gulps fit into the silence. "Easy." I brushed off Silent's poop off my tablet, navigated to a webpage and pushed it back under Silent's disgusting rump. "Everyone that doesn't want to eat the remnants of today's operation, take turns using my tablet~" The large screen behind me showed Chrome with a tab directed to vst.net. VST stands for Virtual Septic Tank - basically a little program that I wrote for my own devious desires. Right now, the tank was empty; only a little tiny Vanguard dump landing inside the dirty, underground container. I got a couple oohs from it, a pfft from Min and a prfffft from Praethius. The dragon, otter and demonskunk were the only three that filled up the tank that day - everyone else took to one another's buttholes. Cleanup wasn't too terrible before it came time to close up for the night, but it was definitely the hottest part of the night. I merely played observer while Min, Prae and Kyou squished their rumps together and formed a waterfall of swirling feces. Silent took to clamoring inside the giant human's pouch, chewing against her butthole and devouring more than his share of the hyper-produced waste matter. Sagi burped a few times before moving to suck on Sid's rump for a spell, as well as Cookies taking a huge dump into Riley's diaper. Eellie fudged herself in the meanwhile, getting a rather large and impressive boner out of it when it was all said and done. Everest took a trip through me (since I was hungry) and emerged covered in poop about a minute and a half later! Yowwie slept-farted again, only producing a small dump amidst the other coprophiliacs about the room. The Reshiram consumed said dump, alongside consuming Sagi's dump once the Mewtwo couldn't hold it all in anymore. Cleanup took a good two hours, but everyone piled out of the restaurant tired, cummy and rather sated from it all. It was a good day, and everyone made their way back home. I still had some fapping to do, so I stayed behind after seeing the last of my employees off for the day. Security cameras were a sound investment.