The bard had only just met the pretty, flaxen-haired Jean the day before as they walked down the road to the nearest merchant town. As was his wont, the affable fox chatted up the comely lass about her life, her family, what brought her to town this day, and what taverns or festivals might be in need of a bard's humble services. He learned many interesting things that afternoon. He learned the chipmunk's cheeks were especially cute when she smiled in the sun. He learned she preferred light, billowy dresses "that let her feel as wild and free as the boys," which impressed him greatly. He likewise learned that Jean's family was highly respected, well-to-do and had pressured her to seek marriage with a number of notables, but thus far the prospective suitors had proven quite wanting. "Boors, drunkards, gluttons, half-wits and the like," winked Jean, tilting her head and blessing the air with a soft, musical laugh. "Wealth cannot purchase charm, Valdis. And my charms I shall save for a worthy partner. A dashing fox, perhaps?" Blushing beet red through a smile, Valdis shifted his lute to cover his loins as Jean told him of the most recent reject, one Baron Gâté L'Pompeux. Vain even by poodle standards, the region's wealthiest winemaker had, according to Jean, towering black hair, beady little eyes and an old fencing scar on his left cheek. "The very first visit, he plied me with his finest vintage, his rude paws going wherever they could. The dinner was insufferable. When it was over, he grabbed my bosoms, trying to force a kiss. A vile beast!" she spat, waving an arm. "So I took a knee to his jewels. Shattered his hopes, hehe. I will say, the cake was very good." The bard cheered and clapped, bowing to the brave lass with a gentle kiss to her paw. Perhaps he might share a similar tale of his own? Chaos knows he had escaped more than a few amorous (or infuriated) pursuers in his travels. A choice escapade had just come to mind when a half dozen armed mounted figures thundered up to them on the road, their tunics and shields emblazoned with a crest unfamiliar to the bard, but which made Jean's pretty face contort into a scowl.
"HALT! In the name of my lord, Baron L'Pompeux!" commanded their captain, the steely-eyed gray hawk yanking his reins. "You are, I presume, the one called Jean the Chipmunk? Of the family Puissant?"
"Bah! You know who I am, you met me just the other day!" huffed Jean, her disgust unconcealed as she stood defiantly in front of the confused bard. "I know you, you are Pierre. Now go back to your disgusting employer. Tell Gâté my answer is unchanged!"
"Rodent! You are not on a first name basis with my lord or myself," sniffed the hawk, dismounting with the others and surrounding the pair. "And I shall indeed go back, but not empty handed. Allow me--" Reaching into his tunic, the hawk pulled out a small but elegant piece of parchment. Clearing his throat, he unrolled the document and read in an officious tone. "Miss Jean! How regrettable we did not part on more amenable terms. But I have further plans for you and feel you should know I am unaccustomed to being refused. In view of the injury and insult you visited upon my tender person, I have no recourse but to order my men to take you into my custody. There you shall remain until such time as you reconsider and accept my offer of marriage, or--"
"NEVER!" growled Jean, struggling as two knights suddenly grabbed her arms.
"Let her go," glowered Valdis, his fists clenching as the other knights slowly flanked the fox, "Barons can't arrest--"
"OR," interrupted Pierre, waving the parchment in their faces, "your family pays compensation to me in the amount of ten thousand rings. I look forward to your visit. Regards, your hopeful fiancé, Gâté L'Pompeux, fourth Baron of Tourbière, et cetera et cetera." Returning the document, the hawk eyed Valdis suspiciously, looking over the fox's lute and purple locks. "Forgive me. But you are... a bard?" He spat and checked his claws.
"The name is Valdis," glowered the fox, fingertips rubbing together anxiously as he stared down the other guards standing stone-faced on either side. "Valdis of Fern Forest. We--"
"I am sure I have never heard of you," chuckled the hawk, folding his arms behind his back. "But I will have you know that vagrants and casters are highly frowned upon in these lands. I fear I must arrest you as well. Witnesses and whatnot. I'm sure you understand."
"I do," nodded Valdis gravely, slowly raising his hands as if to surrender. The next seconds were a blur. The magic word was already launching from his lips as the fox's fingers suddenly came alight with menacing magenta energy. It lit up the hawk's face, eyes going wide in terror as time seemed to slow. "Thunderwa--" Unfortunately, an observant guard's gauntlet found the back of the bard's head just in time.
WHACK! Thud.
And so it went. Now, dungeon-bound with a slightly aching skull, the fox and chipmunk were otherwise in one piece, albeit bound to one another in silvered shackles and unsure when their vengeful "host" might desire an audience. Stripped of all possessions, they awaited their fate cuddled together in the hay for hours on end. Each promised early on to preserve one another's life and honor as best they could, but as the hours became days, the thought of relieving their mutual stress drifted in an out of their minds like a randy specter. As the seventy two hour mark arrived, Captain Pierre made his move. With no intention of losing his bet, the hawk carefully added a few drops of magically charged aphrodisiac to a water skin, which he offered to the "guests." Parched as they were, they warily indulged, kneeling at the bars as they clutched at the sack and gulped together. The hawk knew his special additive worked well; watching L'Pompeux make a jackass of himself time and again with would-be brides amused him greatly, while also ensuring his influence on the besotted baron and his vast holdings remained undiluted. A baroness simply wouldn't do.
Within moments, the bemused hawk was watching from the guard station, sipping wine and idly stroking himself as the fox and chipmunk balled with a gusto that bordered on feral. Kissing, groping, sucking, fingering, stroking, fucking in every and any position their bonds would allow until their bodies were soaked is sweat, saliva and seed. Such was the dose that they were still going even after knights from Jean's family stormed the chateau later that night, led there by a mix of ample suspicion and strange howls of pleasure. They easily overpowered their wine-soaked opponents. A bucket of chilly well water finally broke the mating spell; the fox and chipmunk lay face-up and panting in the wet hay, still holding hands as rescuers searched for their things and any other unfortunate 'guests'. Rattled by the sudden turn of events, Pierre and L'Pompeux soon found themselves swapped out for Valdis and Jean, shackled together--in the altogether--until the local Duke could arrive, hear their case and render a judgement. And render one he did: a fine of ten thousand rings; the year's entire vintage donated to charity; and a day in the stocks at the local fair, where the pair could sample the very finest in overripe tomatoes and moldy grapes hurled at their heads by snickering children.
Not exactly an orthodox victory, but Valdis would sing of it often in his coming travels. Sometimes with a perfumed letter from "J" tucked in his silken vest...
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YCH super mystery funtime playtime color commission by \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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Jean the Chipmunk belongs to \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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Valdis the Bard to me~