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  "description": "A short, bleak story I've had knocking around my head for a while.\n\nThis story is PURE fiction, and any relations between this or any entities or companies, living or dead is completely and purely coincidental. No copyright or legal infringement is intended. \n\n[color=#ef2929][s][center]oh wait...[/center][/s][/color]\n\nIf you are a representative for any such company that believes that your legal rights are being infringed by this work of fiction, please send your legal inquiries to:\n\n[center][color=#fce94f][b]Unamused Monkey\n669 Banana Road, Primate City, ML, 80085[/b][/color][/center]",
  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>A short, bleak story I&#039;ve had knocking around my head for a while.<br /><br />This story is PURE fiction, and any relations between this or any entities or companies, living or dead is completely and purely coincidental. No copyright or legal infringement is intended. <br /><br /><span style=\"color: #ef2929;\"><span class='strikethrough'><div class='align_center'>oh wait...</div></span></span><br /><br />If you are a representative for any such company that believes that your legal rights are being infringed by this work of fiction, please send your legal inquiries to:<br /><br /><div class='align_center'><span style=\"color: #fce94f;\"><strong>Unamused Monkey<br />669 Banana Road, Primate City, ML, 80085</strong></span></div></span>",
  "writing": "\tHe knew this day would come. He had been dreading it. A lump bounced in his throat as the sensation of anxiety made his paws shake. \n\n\tTom had always been a quiet man. In his younger years, he had never asked questions, never made any waves, he had just sat there and listened like a good boy. When he had entered the field of work, he did much of the same. He followed orders, listened to directions, and never asked for any details or nuances in the job. He was a model employee, always on time, never confrontational, never asked for a raise.\n\n\tFor five years, Tom had worked at Brandco Stores for minimum wage. A paltry sum that barely covered the rent and utilities of his studio apartment at the other side of town. With no car, Tom had to wake up at three to get to work on time. The long walks during the pitch black hours of the day had caused him to go through so many shoes that ate into his food budget.\n\n\tThe gray furred feline's diet now largely consisted of rice and ramen. Meat was right out. As such, his body's form had become skinny and weak. The early morning truckloads that he was part of became harder and harder as his body couldn't get the protein he needed.\n\n\tA slip up on the line had caused his hours to get halved. With his income slashed, the cat had started to sell what positions he had to keep afloat. First was the television set that his parents had given him when he moved away from them and into the apartment over five years ago. \n\n\tSoon the studio apartment was almost completely empty, not that there had been much there to begin with.\n\n\tHe did keep one thing, though. Something that kept him going when times were tough.\n\n\tHe looked at the rectangle in his paws.\n\n\tHis smartphone's sleeping screen reflected back to him in the empty room.\n\n\tThough a cheap phone that was woefully out of date, Tom had kept it for the services it provided him. He valued it more than food.\n\n\tPlain white rice was being cooked in the studio's kitchenette, using the one pot that he still owned. \n\n\tHe turned the smart device on, feeling a bit of anticipation despite the fear forming in his veins. He could get through this. He knew he could. \n\n\tHe felt a sense of horror and luck across his neck as he saw that his phone was still connected to the mobile network. There was no excuse this time.\n\n\tHe tapped on the device. He looked at the array of application icons on the dimly lit screen. The scrawny cat's pink nose wrinkled slightly as a claw hovered over the one application that had gotten him through everything. Ever empty part of his life, every soul crushing fact, was healed up by this one service. \n\n\tBest Help.\n\n\tIt was a service he had seen advertised.\n\n\tIt was an application that allowed you to be in contact with a psychological therapist over the phone. A godsend for his nervousness with dealing with people face to face. The screen of the phone created a comfortable barrier for him.\n\n\tThe cost was great. Best Help charged two hundred dollars per session, with a seventy five percent additional fee for any `walk in' calls to his appointed therapist. There was also a service charge of one hundred and fifty dollars every month for keeping you on their system. Much of the money he had made went towards the application. He relied on it. \n\n\tTherapy was all he wanted. The therapist was the only person he could speak to. He had always been so quiet, because on the off chance that he said a single thing, he would be shut down immediately. This was the only way he could talk. This was the only way he could be heard. \n\n\tHe had an oncoming appointment soon. The app had a countdown timer to prepare him to be ready. He put the phone down on the floor and propped it against the wall so it would be facing him when the video appointment started. \n\n\tSoon the app initiated a video call. A woman in a white coat was plastered across his phone's screen. She was looking right at him. The therapist was a red fox that was easy on the eyes, though, Tom wished he could see just a little more of her besides her pretty face and dazzling blue eyes. He gulped and stammered at her sudden appearance, even though he had expected her.\n\n\t``Good evening, Tom.'' The fox said, reading something from off screen for a moment before resuming her attention on her patient. ``How are you?''\n\n\t``I'm, uh... well, I have a lot to talk about this session.'' The skinny cat said, feeling his face heat up. His whiskers twitched as he spoke. \n\n\t``Are you still feeling depressed, Tom?'' The woman asked, her tone clinical. ``I have recommended the services of our sister company several times before. I would like to remind you to book an appointed with a professional psychiatrist with the group Best Meds. They can provide you a whole list of antidepressants that you should be taking. If you remember to refer to me when subscribing to the service, you will receive a ten percent off coupon for your first prescription.''\n\n\t``That's... part of what I wanted to talk to you about, doc.'' Tom gulped. \n\n\tThe vulpine's eyes lit up. ``Oh, so you have referred while you applied for Best Meds? That's strange, because I haven't received any kind of notification. Usually they're pretty prompt on that. No matter. How are the antidepressants working for you, have you had any kind of... dysfunctions while taking them, any kind of mood swings or suicidal thoughts, restless legs or joint pain perhaps?''\n\n\t``No, I haven't gone to them.'' Tom finally managed to say.\n\n\tHer initial enthusiasm was gone in an instant. ``Ooo-kay, well, what is so important this time?'' She asked, a slight hint of annoyance in her voice. She looked off to the side for a moment. ``You have twenty five minutes with me, starting now. Go ahead. Tell me what's on your mind, Tom.''\n\n\t``W-well, I wanted to tell you, before we get to the session proper, that uh... this will probably be our last appointment for a while.'' He said, sweat running down his face as he spoke. \n\n\tThe room was quiet.\n\n\tThe therapist's expression soured.\n\n\t``Explain.'' She said, her voice dark.\n\n\t``W-well, I've had my hours cut at work for a while.'' Tom tried to explain a fervent wavering in his trachea. ``It's been pretty bad. I've sold most of what I owned, and now I'm several months behind rent. I've tried finding alternative forms of income, but nothing has been working for me. I have to cancel my subscription to Best Help, at least until I get things back on track.''\n\n\tThe fox rolled her eyes. ``You've mentioned money problems before. Maybe that's the biggest issue you have. Surely, you have a credit card you can use to stick with my services. Best Help also has a program where you can pay for a years worth of subscription and a several sessions all at once. If you want, I can see if I can get a discount. For three thousands dollars, you'll be able to get a years worth of Best Help as well as six sessions with me. I'll even add an extra seventh session for free. How does that sound?''\n\n\t``I don't have any credit, I have nothing.'' Tom gulped, noticing the change in her tone. ``I have to cancel. I'll... try to come back as soon as I can, it's just going to be a while.''\n\n\t``Don't you have anything else you can sell?'' The therapist asked. ``Maybe like a car? A twenty four year old such as yourself should have a set of wheels. Just go without one for a while. Walking will liven up that dour mood of yours and will do wonders for your physical and mental health.''\n\n\t``I don't have a car, I've never had a car.'' Tom said, thinking he had told her that before. Had she not listened? ``I don't have anything left to sell.''\n\n\t``Don't tell me you're not going to be able to pay for this session.'' An annoyed woman replied, her scowl evident in the tiny phone screen. ``If that's so, I'm going to have to end the call and send out a report to Best Help for the unpaid funds.''\n\n\t``N-no, this is the last one I can pay for.'' Tom bit his lip. ``I'm using most of my check for it.''\n\n\t``Oh, good.'' The fox let out a relaxed sigh. ``I was worried that my time was being wasted.''\n\n\t``N-now that I've told you that. Uh... I wanted to talk to you about my thoughts. I've just been... really down lately. I don't know what to do with my life. I just...'' Tom began, wobbling. ``I just feel like at every turn, that the world is against me. Everything I do and feel is like some kind of universal joke where I'm the punchline and I can't shake this feeling that the whole thing is collapsing down on me. It's like I have to deal with the brunt of-''\n\n\t``Womp womp.'' The fox interrupted. ``Tom, did anyone ever tell you that you whine too much? No one likes a complainer. There's a lot of people out there that have it far worse than you. Think about all the starving kids in Gafistan. Now don't you feel silly whining while there are children dying out there? C'mon, Tom. Let's be real here.''\n\n\tThe gray furred feline went quiet.\n\n\t``The real problem is that you're a failure, Tom. In every respect of the word: Failure.'' The therapist continued. ``You fail at your work, you fail at finances, you've told me about your struggles at even finding a girlfriend at all, so even your non-existent love life is a complete and total failure. You just... ooze it, from every orifice of your body.''\n\n\tSilence.\n\n\t``Now, about your break from Best Help...'' The canine coughed slightly, her voice picking up. ``Is it going to be like a month? How long of a break do you need from my services?''\n\n\t``I...'' Tom felt his mouth dry. ``I was thinking maybe something closer to... a... year?''\n\n\t``A year?'' The woman raised an eyebrow. \n\n\t``Yeah.''\n\n\t``A year without therapy.'' The psychologist mused, looking off-camera for a moment before looking back. ``What makes you think you can survive without me for a whole year? You've told me several times in past sessions that it is my services that keep you going. I think canceling your subscription would be a dangerous mistake.''\n\n\t``I literally can't continue it.'' The feline said, running a paw across his short black headfur. ``I would if I could... I can't.''\n\n\t``There's more of that failure talk again.'' The therapist said, rolling her eyes once again. ``If you keep saying that you can't, you'll never achieve anything. You're dooming yourself before you even start. Tell you what, if you can come up with four thousand dollars, I can get you enrolled with Best Meds and get you a premium rate on a prescription of antidepressants. Right now there's a sale going on with sertraline. It's a very good drug for failures like you.''\n\n\t``I have no money, nothing.'' Tom's voice came with a stifled cry. ``I have nothing anymore.''\n\n\t``Oh my fucking god, are you really going to cry now?'' An annoyed psychotherapist growled. ``We've been over this several times, Tom. Crying is unnatural for those with those of a masculine disposition. It's not something you do. If you do it, it means that you're a weak and pathetic man. Do you want to look weak in front of your therapist? Now, c'mon. Suck it up and lets get you the help that you need.''\n\n\tTom wiped a runny nose, sniffling.\n\n\t``God, I hate it when you're like this. It's so embarrassing for me. `Waahh waah wahh, I don't like my life. Everything sucks!' Really, if this is the thoughts you're having all the time maybe something should really be done about it.''\n\n\t``L-like what?'' Asked a sniveling cat.\n\n\t``I mean taking action like a man.'' The fox said, looking off screen as she spoke. ``Y'know? Doing the world the right thing.''\n\n\t``I don't know what you mean.'' Whimpered Tom.\n\n\t``Oh my god, you're so fucking dense.'' The therapist face-palmed as she struggled to keep it together. She cleared her throat before speaking. ``Okay. Since you're not going to be receiving my services for the foreseeable future, if ever, I think this whole thing is pointless. You, Tom, are completely and utterly pointless. There is no point of your existence.''\n\n\t``I-I...''\n\n\t``So let's consider an alternative, more permanent solution to the problem, shall we?'' She focused her gaze back on the young man. ``Let's be real, you're going to take a long longer than a year or two to resume your subscription. You won't be able to survive without me. Let's cut out the middle man, so to speak.''\n\n\t``I don't get wha-''\n\n\t``Do. Not. Interrupt. Me.'' The canine growled, her sharp teeth showing in the phone screen as she did. ``I know you said that you don't have a lot around your place. I'm going to ask, though. Do you have in your possession a blade of some kind, maybe like a razor blade or something?''\n\n\t``I have a steak knife, it's kind of old, though.''\n\n\t``Is it sharp?''\n\n\t``Yeah, I haven't used it much.''\n\n\t``Good. Here's what we're going to do.'' The woman adjusted her seating as she spoke. ``I'll extend the session for this, as we're getting a little low on time. Your payment is going to go through, though, right? No bouncing or any funny business?''\n\n\t``No, it'll go through okay.'' Tom felt a sense of dread welling up inside of him.\n\n\t``Great. Now, I want you to grab that steak knife and come back here. I'll wait for you.''\n\n\t``You're not going to leave?'' Tom asked.\n\n\t``No. I'll be patient. Please, get the knife and come back. Take your time if you have to.''\n\n\tTom was off. He wasn't thinking at all. Something in the back of his mind knew what was going to happen, but he didn't care. It wasn't long before the cat returned to his phone with the steak knife. The blade was practically unused, despite having owned it for several years. The metal of the knife gleamed in the overhead light of the studio apartment. \n\n\t``Are you sure it's sharp?'' The therapist didn't even ask for an answer. ``I want to see you pierce a finger with it, just to be sure.''\n\n\tTom obeyed. With a wince, it took the pointed tool and sliced into the flesh of his thumb. Red gushed out of the cut immediately.  Despite the incision not being particularly large the amount of blood was very prominent. Tom couldn't help but shudder as he watched the bleeding. The red got onto the carpet. His paws shook with a sense of panic.\n\n\t``Keep your paws still.'' The therapist on the screen of his phone said, trying to calm down the man's nerves. \n\n\t``O-okay.''\n\n\t``Are you ready to go through with this? You need to do everything I say. No more complaining, no more excuses. This will take care of everything.'' The fox's voice was low and quiet. ``This is your fate. Since you can't pay for me anymore, I don't see any other course of action for you. It's time for you to take care of this.''\n\n\t``...You want me to kill myself?'' Tom asked bluntly.\n\n\t``That's such a harsh way to put it.'' The therapist said, putting her paws together. ``Think about it in a different direction. You're miserable aren't you? You feel like you have no way out of this? Life is such a pain for you that sometimes you feel like you can't get up in the morning? Well, this is the final answer for it. It's a solution. You won't have to worry about anything after this. I wish there was another way around it, but this truly is the only path you can take. I mean, if you had the money, we could get you some antidepressants to help you out. I think that would be a much more better and viable method, but I'm not going to wait years and years for you to possibly -not probably- get your life together for it.''\n\n\t``I-''\n\n\t``And think about it some more. What about you? What kind of pay-off would you get struggling with everything? What if it never works out and you're just miserable for the rest of your life? Is that any way to live? Here's your way out. So just follow my instructions as I say them and don't think.''\n\n\tShe was right. What had he been thinking? There was no why out of this. It was inevitable. Who was he to think otherwise? At least he'd be able to pay her what little money he had set aside for this last session. His struggle had been for nothing. He had been kidding himself earlier when he thought that he could get through this rough patch. It was time for him to go through this like a man. This was the right thing for him to do. \n\n\t``Now, I have one thing for you to do before you take this last action.'' The woman said, a faint smile across her canine maw. ``I need for you to write a note. Just something so that people know that this was an action of your own doing, with absolutely no coaxing for anyone else.''\n\n\t``I don't have any paper.''\n\n\t``Just use the wall, use your bleeding thumb.'' The therapist instructed. ``Doesn't need to be a whole freaking novel. Just write something down quickly and lets get this finished. I have a whole line of clients that I need to get to after this, clients that can actually afford my services. C'mon, hurry up. We're already past time now.''\n\n\tTom obeyed. It was the only thing he could do. There wasn't anything else left for him now. He didn't ask questions. It was wrong to ask questions, it was wrong to resist. You had do do as you were told. He was a failure. Complete failure. It was the only possible outcome he had in his life. Why delay what his fate was? Why make the world suffer from his worthless existence? He was a drain on society, a leech that had consumed too much from what little was left. The rice he had eaten could have gone to anyone else, someone who was actually worth something. How selfish of him to deny that. How depraved was he to try to hold the world back. Who was he to make his own decisions?\n\n\t``This is what I want.'' He said, writing the very words that escaped his lips onto the wall with his own blood. Worthless, valueless blood that was better used to write with then to supply him with the life he didn't deserve. \n\n\t``Are you done already, c'mon, I have a whole host of clients waiting.'' The psychologist's voice echoed in the nearly empty apartment. ``People that are actually worth something, though that's not a huge bar to cross compared to you.'' She said, her canine muzzle shifting into a sneer. ``My god, I can barely bare looking at you through my screen. I can't believe you thought that anyone could help you with your problems. Such a worthless, pathetic man you are. Everyone will be better off after you do it. Think about that.''\n\n\tThat's exactly what he was doing. What a burden he had become to everyone around him. What a pitiful, nagging insect he was to the world. It was time to go. He just wish he could do it quietly. He hoped that the pain wouldn't make him scream and wake up his neighbors in the other apartments. He didn't want to be a problem for the during his last moments. What about the blood? Someone was going to have to clean that up. Even in death he was just an inconvenience to others. \n\n\tQuietly.\n\n\tHe picked up the phone and propped it on the ground awkwardly in the kitchenette. The tile would be easier to clean the blood off of. His whole body shook as he looked at the sharp steak nice in his hand. How long would the pain last? What kind of slice should he deploy? What if he failed and merely resulted in maiming himself? How much debt would he get for the medical bill? He would just be a burden to the hospital, unable to pay it all. \n\n\t``You need to get a grip on it, don't shake.'' The psychologist commanded him. ``You need to line it up with your throat, do it so that the blade of the knife is angled just so.'' She demonstrated with her finger, lifting up her chin to give him a good view of her neck. ``Line it up along here, and cut deeply. You're going to go at a slight curve to make sure that the artery is completely severed. The deepness of the gash and the angle will make sure that you bleed out quickly. The only way it would be quicker is if you could get yourself to be upside-down to drain it. I don't think that's going to be possible. Yeah, line it up, cut deeply, just... like that...'' Her voice became less commanding as she watched the feline obeying her. \n\n\tThe gray cat winced at the first instant of the blade slicing into his throat. The initial pain caused him to almost drop the knife. He kept going. Scarlet ran down his neck. He could feel the flesh of his skin and fur parting from the slice of metal against it. The pain was immense, but he kept going. He wasn't going to give up on his last action. \n\n\tHe felt the hotness of his blood run down past his chest. It was a lot, and more and more kept coming. He finished the cut. His fingers felt weak. The knife clattered on the kitchenette tile. He didn't even realize he had dropped it. \n\n\tThoughts were foggy. He wasn't even sure what he was looking at as he stared out at the screen. He could see it, but he couldn't comprehend it. His entire body felt like it was made out of lead. The cat slumped forward, the top of his headfur pressed against the wall. His gaze watched as blood began to pour onto the phone screen, splattering loudly against it. \n\n\t``Glll...''\n\n\tNot only could he not understand what he was seeing, but it wasn't long before the his vision began to escape him. His eyes remained open, unfocused as sight faded. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't gasp. His mind could only understand that he felt a bit cold.\n\n\tThe phone screen went black from inaction.\n\n\tHe wasn't even there to see it.\n\n",
  "writing_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>\tHe knew this day would come. He had been dreading it. A lump bounced in his throat as the sensation of anxiety made his paws shake. <br /><br />\tTom had always been a quiet man. In his younger years, he had never asked questions, never made any waves, he had just sat there and listened like a good boy. When he had entered the field of work, he did much of the same. He followed orders, listened to directions, and never asked for any details or nuances in the job. He was a model employee, always on time, never confrontational, never asked for a raise.<br /><br />\tFor five years, Tom had worked at Brandco Stores for minimum wage. A paltry sum that barely covered the rent and utilities of his studio apartment at the other side of town. With no car, Tom had to wake up at three to get to work on time. The long walks during the pitch black hours of the day had caused him to go through so many shoes that ate into his food budget.<br /><br />\tThe gray furred feline&#039;s diet now largely consisted of rice and ramen. Meat was right out. As such, his body&#039;s form had become skinny and weak. The early morning truckloads that he was part of became harder and harder as his body couldn&#039;t get the protein he needed.<br /><br />\tA slip up on the line had caused his hours to get halved. With his income slashed, the cat had started to sell what positions he had to keep afloat. First was the television set that his parents had given him when he moved away from them and into the apartment over five years ago. <br /><br />\tSoon the studio apartment was almost completely empty, not that there had been much there to begin with.<br /><br />\tHe did keep one thing, though. Something that kept him going when times were tough.<br /><br />\tHe looked at the rectangle in his paws.<br /><br />\tHis smartphone&#039;s sleeping screen reflected back to him in the empty room.<br /><br />\tThough a cheap phone that was woefully out of date, Tom had kept it for the services it provided him. He valued it more than food.<br /><br />\tPlain white rice was being cooked in the studio&#039;s kitchenette, using the one pot that he still owned. <br /><br />\tHe turned the smart device on, feeling a bit of anticipation despite the fear forming in his veins. He could get through this. He knew he could. <br /><br />\tHe felt a sense of horror and luck across his neck as he saw that his phone was still connected to the mobile network. There was no excuse this time.<br /><br />\tHe tapped on the device. He looked at the array of application icons on the dimly lit screen. The scrawny cat&#039;s pink nose wrinkled slightly as a claw hovered over the one application that had gotten him through everything. Ever empty part of his life, every soul crushing fact, was healed up by this one service. <br /><br />\tBest Help.<br /><br />\tIt was a service he had seen advertised.<br /><br />\tIt was an application that allowed you to be in contact with a psychological therapist over the phone. A godsend for his nervousness with dealing with people face to face. The screen of the phone created a comfortable barrier for him.<br /><br />\tThe cost was great. Best Help charged two hundred dollars per session, with a seventy five percent additional fee for any `walk in&#039; calls to his appointed therapist. There was also a service charge of one hundred and fifty dollars every month for keeping you on their system. Much of the money he had made went towards the application. He relied on it. <br /><br />\tTherapy was all he wanted. The therapist was the only person he could speak to. He had always been so quiet, because on the off chance that he said a single thing, he would be shut down immediately. This was the only way he could talk. This was the only way he could be heard. <br /><br />\tHe had an oncoming appointment soon. The app had a countdown timer to prepare him to be ready. He put the phone down on the floor and propped it against the wall so it would be facing him when the video appointment started. <br /><br />\tSoon the app initiated a video call. A woman in a white coat was plastered across his phone&#039;s screen. She was looking right at him. The therapist was a red fox that was easy on the eyes, though, Tom wished he could see just a little more of her besides her pretty face and dazzling blue eyes. He gulped and stammered at her sudden appearance, even though he had expected her.<br /><br />\t``Good evening, Tom.&#039;&#039; The fox said, reading something from off screen for a moment before resuming her attention on her patient. ``How are you?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I&#039;m, uh... well, I have a lot to talk about this session.&#039;&#039; The skinny cat said, feeling his face heat up. His whiskers twitched as he spoke. <br /><br />\t``Are you still feeling depressed, Tom?&#039;&#039; The woman asked, her tone clinical. ``I have recommended the services of our sister company several times before. I would like to remind you to book an appointed with a professional psychiatrist with the group Best Meds. They can provide you a whole list of antidepressants that you should be taking. If you remember to refer to me when subscribing to the service, you will receive a ten percent off coupon for your first prescription.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``That&#039;s... part of what I wanted to talk to you about, doc.&#039;&#039; Tom gulped. <br /><br />\tThe vulpine&#039;s eyes lit up. ``Oh, so you have referred while you applied for Best Meds? That&#039;s strange, because I haven&#039;t received any kind of notification. Usually they&#039;re pretty prompt on that. No matter. How are the antidepressants working for you, have you had any kind of... dysfunctions while taking them, any kind of mood swings or suicidal thoughts, restless legs or joint pain perhaps?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``No, I haven&#039;t gone to them.&#039;&#039; Tom finally managed to say.<br /><br />\tHer initial enthusiasm was gone in an instant. ``Ooo-kay, well, what is so important this time?&#039;&#039; She asked, a slight hint of annoyance in her voice. She looked off to the side for a moment. ``You have twenty five minutes with me, starting now. Go ahead. Tell me what&#039;s on your mind, Tom.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``W-well, I wanted to tell you, before we get to the session proper, that uh... this will probably be our last appointment for a while.&#039;&#039; He said, sweat running down his face as he spoke. <br /><br />\tThe room was quiet.<br /><br />\tThe therapist&#039;s expression soured.<br /><br />\t``Explain.&#039;&#039; She said, her voice dark.<br /><br />\t``W-well, I&#039;ve had my hours cut at work for a while.&#039;&#039; Tom tried to explain a fervent wavering in his trachea. ``It&#039;s been pretty bad. I&#039;ve sold most of what I owned, and now I&#039;m several months behind rent. I&#039;ve tried finding alternative forms of income, but nothing has been working for me. I have to cancel my subscription to Best Help, at least until I get things back on track.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tThe fox rolled her eyes. ``You&#039;ve mentioned money problems before. Maybe that&#039;s the biggest issue you have. Surely, you have a credit card you can use to stick with my services. Best Help also has a program where you can pay for a years worth of subscription and a several sessions all at once. If you want, I can see if I can get a discount. For three thousands dollars, you&#039;ll be able to get a years worth of Best Help as well as six sessions with me. I&#039;ll even add an extra seventh session for free. How does that sound?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I don&#039;t have any credit, I have nothing.&#039;&#039; Tom gulped, noticing the change in her tone. ``I have to cancel. I&#039;ll... try to come back as soon as I can, it&#039;s just going to be a while.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Don&#039;t you have anything else you can sell?&#039;&#039; The therapist asked. ``Maybe like a car? A twenty four year old such as yourself should have a set of wheels. Just go without one for a while. Walking will liven up that dour mood of yours and will do wonders for your physical and mental health.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I don&#039;t have a car, I&#039;ve never had a car.&#039;&#039; Tom said, thinking he had told her that before. Had she not listened? ``I don&#039;t have anything left to sell.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Don&#039;t tell me you&#039;re not going to be able to pay for this session.&#039;&#039; An annoyed woman replied, her scowl evident in the tiny phone screen. ``If that&#039;s so, I&#039;m going to have to end the call and send out a report to Best Help for the unpaid funds.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``N-no, this is the last one I can pay for.&#039;&#039; Tom bit his lip. ``I&#039;m using most of my check for it.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Oh, good.&#039;&#039; The fox let out a relaxed sigh. ``I was worried that my time was being wasted.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``N-now that I&#039;ve told you that. Uh... I wanted to talk to you about my thoughts. I&#039;ve just been... really down lately. I don&#039;t know what to do with my life. I just...&#039;&#039; Tom began, wobbling. ``I just feel like at every turn, that the world is against me. Everything I do and feel is like some kind of universal joke where I&#039;m the punchline and I can&#039;t shake this feeling that the whole thing is collapsing down on me. It&#039;s like I have to deal with the brunt of-&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Womp womp.&#039;&#039; The fox interrupted. ``Tom, did anyone ever tell you that you whine too much? No one likes a complainer. There&#039;s a lot of people out there that have it far worse than you. Think about all the starving kids in Gafistan. Now don&#039;t you feel silly whining while there are children dying out there? C&#039;mon, Tom. Let&#039;s be real here.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tThe gray furred feline went quiet.<br /><br />\t``The real problem is that you&#039;re a failure, Tom. In every respect of the word: Failure.&#039;&#039; The therapist continued. ``You fail at your work, you fail at finances, you&#039;ve told me about your struggles at even finding a girlfriend at all, so even your non-existent love life is a complete and total failure. You just... ooze it, from every orifice of your body.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tSilence.<br /><br />\t``Now, about your break from Best Help...&#039;&#039; The canine coughed slightly, her voice picking up. ``Is it going to be like a month? How long of a break do you need from my services?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I...&#039;&#039; Tom felt his mouth dry. ``I was thinking maybe something closer to... a... year?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``A year?&#039;&#039; The woman raised an eyebrow. <br /><br />\t``Yeah.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``A year without therapy.&#039;&#039; The psychologist mused, looking off-camera for a moment before looking back. ``What makes you think you can survive without me for a whole year? You&#039;ve told me several times in past sessions that it is my services that keep you going. I think canceling your subscription would be a dangerous mistake.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I literally can&#039;t continue it.&#039;&#039; The feline said, running a paw across his short black headfur. ``I would if I could... I can&#039;t.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``There&#039;s more of that failure talk again.&#039;&#039; The therapist said, rolling her eyes once again. ``If you keep saying that you can&#039;t, you&#039;ll never achieve anything. You&#039;re dooming yourself before you even start. Tell you what, if you can come up with four thousand dollars, I can get you enrolled with Best Meds and get you a premium rate on a prescription of antidepressants. Right now there&#039;s a sale going on with sertraline. It&#039;s a very good drug for failures like you.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I have no money, nothing.&#039;&#039; Tom&#039;s voice came with a stifled cry. ``I have nothing anymore.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Oh my fucking god, are you really going to cry now?&#039;&#039; An annoyed psychotherapist growled. ``We&#039;ve been over this several times, Tom. Crying is unnatural for those with those of a masculine disposition. It&#039;s not something you do. If you do it, it means that you&#039;re a weak and pathetic man. Do you want to look weak in front of your therapist? Now, c&#039;mon. Suck it up and lets get you the help that you need.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tTom wiped a runny nose, sniffling.<br /><br />\t``God, I hate it when you&#039;re like this. It&#039;s so embarrassing for me. `Waahh waah wahh, I don&#039;t like my life. Everything sucks!&#039; Really, if this is the thoughts you&#039;re having all the time maybe something should really be done about it.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``L-like what?&#039;&#039; Asked a sniveling cat.<br /><br />\t``I mean taking action like a man.&#039;&#039; The fox said, looking off screen as she spoke. ``Y&#039;know? Doing the world the right thing.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I don&#039;t know what you mean.&#039;&#039; Whimpered Tom.<br /><br />\t``Oh my god, you&#039;re so fucking dense.&#039;&#039; The therapist face-palmed as she struggled to keep it together. She cleared her throat before speaking. ``Okay. Since you&#039;re not going to be receiving my services for the foreseeable future, if ever, I think this whole thing is pointless. You, Tom, are completely and utterly pointless. There is no point of your existence.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I-I...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``So let&#039;s consider an alternative, more permanent solution to the problem, shall we?&#039;&#039; She focused her gaze back on the young man. ``Let&#039;s be real, you&#039;re going to take a long longer than a year or two to resume your subscription. You won&#039;t be able to survive without me. Let&#039;s cut out the middle man, so to speak.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I don&#039;t get wha-&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Do. Not. Interrupt. Me.&#039;&#039; The canine growled, her sharp teeth showing in the phone screen as she did. ``I know you said that you don&#039;t have a lot around your place. I&#039;m going to ask, though. Do you have in your possession a blade of some kind, maybe like a razor blade or something?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I have a steak knife, it&#039;s kind of old, though.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Is it sharp?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Yeah, I haven&#039;t used it much.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Good. Here&#039;s what we&#039;re going to do.&#039;&#039; The woman adjusted her seating as she spoke. ``I&#039;ll extend the session for this, as we&#039;re getting a little low on time. Your payment is going to go through, though, right? No bouncing or any funny business?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``No, it&#039;ll go through okay.&#039;&#039; Tom felt a sense of dread welling up inside of him.<br /><br />\t``Great. Now, I want you to grab that steak knife and come back here. I&#039;ll wait for you.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``You&#039;re not going to leave?&#039;&#039; Tom asked.<br /><br />\t``No. I&#039;ll be patient. Please, get the knife and come back. Take your time if you have to.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tTom was off. He wasn&#039;t thinking at all. Something in the back of his mind knew what was going to happen, but he didn&#039;t care. It wasn&#039;t long before the cat returned to his phone with the steak knife. The blade was practically unused, despite having owned it for several years. The metal of the knife gleamed in the overhead light of the studio apartment. <br /><br />\t``Are you sure it&#039;s sharp?&#039;&#039; The therapist didn&#039;t even ask for an answer. ``I want to see you pierce a finger with it, just to be sure.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tTom obeyed. With a wince, it took the pointed tool and sliced into the flesh of his thumb. Red gushed out of the cut immediately.&nbsp;&nbsp;Despite the incision not being particularly large the amount of blood was very prominent. Tom couldn&#039;t help but shudder as he watched the bleeding. The red got onto the carpet. His paws shook with a sense of panic.<br /><br />\t``Keep your paws still.&#039;&#039; The therapist on the screen of his phone said, trying to calm down the man&#039;s nerves. <br /><br />\t``O-okay.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Are you ready to go through with this? You need to do everything I say. No more complaining, no more excuses. This will take care of everything.&#039;&#039; The fox&#039;s voice was low and quiet. ``This is your fate. Since you can&#039;t pay for me anymore, I don&#039;t see any other course of action for you. It&#039;s time for you to take care of this.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``...You want me to kill myself?&#039;&#039; Tom asked bluntly.<br /><br />\t``That&#039;s such a harsh way to put it.&#039;&#039; The therapist said, putting her paws together. ``Think about it in a different direction. You&#039;re miserable aren&#039;t you? You feel like you have no way out of this? Life is such a pain for you that sometimes you feel like you can&#039;t get up in the morning? Well, this is the final answer for it. It&#039;s a solution. You won&#039;t have to worry about anything after this. I wish there was another way around it, but this truly is the only path you can take. I mean, if you had the money, we could get you some antidepressants to help you out. I think that would be a much more better and viable method, but I&#039;m not going to wait years and years for you to possibly -not probably- get your life together for it.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I-&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``And think about it some more. What about you? What kind of pay-off would you get struggling with everything? What if it never works out and you&#039;re just miserable for the rest of your life? Is that any way to live? Here&#039;s your way out. So just follow my instructions as I say them and don&#039;t think.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tShe was right. What had he been thinking? There was no why out of this. It was inevitable. Who was he to think otherwise? At least he&#039;d be able to pay her what little money he had set aside for this last session. His struggle had been for nothing. He had been kidding himself earlier when he thought that he could get through this rough patch. It was time for him to go through this like a man. This was the right thing for him to do. <br /><br />\t``Now, I have one thing for you to do before you take this last action.&#039;&#039; The woman said, a faint smile across her canine maw. ``I need for you to write a note. Just something so that people know that this was an action of your own doing, with absolutely no coaxing for anyone else.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I don&#039;t have any paper.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Just use the wall, use your bleeding thumb.&#039;&#039; The therapist instructed. ``Doesn&#039;t need to be a whole freaking novel. Just write something down quickly and lets get this finished. I have a whole line of clients that I need to get to after this, clients that can actually afford my services. C&#039;mon, hurry up. We&#039;re already past time now.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tTom obeyed. It was the only thing he could do. There wasn&#039;t anything else left for him now. He didn&#039;t ask questions. It was wrong to ask questions, it was wrong to resist. You had do do as you were told. He was a failure. Complete failure. It was the only possible outcome he had in his life. Why delay what his fate was? Why make the world suffer from his worthless existence? He was a drain on society, a leech that had consumed too much from what little was left. The rice he had eaten could have gone to anyone else, someone who was actually worth something. How selfish of him to deny that. How depraved was he to try to hold the world back. Who was he to make his own decisions?<br /><br />\t``This is what I want.&#039;&#039; He said, writing the very words that escaped his lips onto the wall with his own blood. Worthless, valueless blood that was better used to write with then to supply him with the life he didn&#039;t deserve. <br /><br />\t``Are you done already, c&#039;mon, I have a whole host of clients waiting.&#039;&#039; The psychologist&#039;s voice echoed in the nearly empty apartment. ``People that are actually worth something, though that&#039;s not a huge bar to cross compared to you.&#039;&#039; She said, her canine muzzle shifting into a sneer. ``My god, I can barely bare looking at you through my screen. I can&#039;t believe you thought that anyone could help you with your problems. Such a worthless, pathetic man you are. Everyone will be better off after you do it. Think about that.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tThat&#039;s exactly what he was doing. What a burden he had become to everyone around him. What a pitiful, nagging insect he was to the world. It was time to go. He just wish he could do it quietly. He hoped that the pain wouldn&#039;t make him scream and wake up his neighbors in the other apartments. He didn&#039;t want to be a problem for the during his last moments. What about the blood? Someone was going to have to clean that up. Even in death he was just an inconvenience to others. <br /><br />\tQuietly.<br /><br />\tHe picked up the phone and propped it on the ground awkwardly in the kitchenette. The tile would be easier to clean the blood off of. His whole body shook as he looked at the sharp steak nice in his hand. How long would the pain last? What kind of slice should he deploy? What if he failed and merely resulted in maiming himself? How much debt would he get for the medical bill? He would just be a burden to the hospital, unable to pay it all. <br /><br />\t``You need to get a grip on it, don&#039;t shake.&#039;&#039; The psychologist commanded him. ``You need to line it up with your throat, do it so that the blade of the knife is angled just so.&#039;&#039; She demonstrated with her finger, lifting up her chin to give him a good view of her neck. ``Line it up along here, and cut deeply. You&#039;re going to go at a slight curve to make sure that the artery is completely severed. The deepness of the gash and the angle will make sure that you bleed out quickly. The only way it would be quicker is if you could get yourself to be upside-down to drain it. I don&#039;t think that&#039;s going to be possible. Yeah, line it up, cut deeply, just... like that...&#039;&#039; Her voice became less commanding as she watched the feline obeying her. <br /><br />\tThe gray cat winced at the first instant of the blade slicing into his throat. The initial pain caused him to almost drop the knife. He kept going. Scarlet ran down his neck. He could feel the flesh of his skin and fur parting from the slice of metal against it. The pain was immense, but he kept going. He wasn&#039;t going to give up on his last action. <br /><br />\tHe felt the hotness of his blood run down past his chest. It was a lot, and more and more kept coming. He finished the cut. His fingers felt weak. The knife clattered on the kitchenette tile. He didn&#039;t even realize he had dropped it. <br /><br />\tThoughts were foggy. He wasn&#039;t even sure what he was looking at as he stared out at the screen. He could see it, but he couldn&#039;t comprehend it. His entire body felt like it was made out of lead. The cat slumped forward, the top of his headfur pressed against the wall. His gaze watched as blood began to pour onto the phone screen, splattering loudly against it. <br /><br />\t``Glll...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tNot only could he not understand what he was seeing, but it wasn&#039;t long before the his vision began to escape him. His eyes remained open, unfocused as sight faded. He couldn&#039;t breathe, he couldn&#039;t gasp. His mind could only understand that he felt a bit cold.<br /><br />\tThe phone screen went black from inaction.<br /><br />\tHe wasn&#039;t even there to see it.<br /><br /></span>",
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