The rain showed no sign of letting up, and when it rain here, it poured. For hours it seemed; all to make up for lost time during drought. I would have shielded myself from the downpour but it was such a short walk to the front door so I didn’t even bother. My house wasn’t all that impressive though I knew there were furs with less in the lower part of town. It was a single story like most houses nearby and was built about ten years ago. We moved in here shortly after I turned eight after my uncle Markel had convinced my parents what a great neighborhood this was. My eyes drifted over to the empty house next door, it still had a for sale sign hanging in the window after all these years. How many evil things had happened in there? How many things were rubbed off on me? If none of those things happened, would I have stood in line at the grocery and fanaticized about fucking that little raccoon boy? Would I have been suspended? Would I still be gay? Was I ever meant to know?
It was pointless to force the thoughts away. I was back home and when I was here I was always reminded of those things. My mom’s car was gone, who knew where she went during the day, I never needed to know so I never did. My father’s car was, however, which was good news for me because it meant being able to get a few snacks before I barricaded myself in my room without my mother’s insipid backlash for going to the school. I didn’t even see the otter today so no harm was done anyways.
I made it to the porch without too much water damage. My cigarettes were safe in my jacket pocket and I could care less about my quills, they were due for a paint job anyway. I opened the door and escaped the wet world outside to a much dryer and brighter scene. Though I never got very cheery about the place, no matter how neat and tidy my mother’s housekeeper kept it. 
The living room was empty but the expensive flat screen my father bought my mom last Christmas was on mute; some show on Fox I never watched. I always entered with caution but because I knew my mother wasn’t home, I walked straight to the kitchen without wiping my wet foot-paws on the rug. Again, I met tidiness there, the counters were wiped clean and the sink was void of dirty dishes except for a single opened bottle of whisky that sat on the ledge near the fridge. I listened for any sign of an impending encounter before snatching the bottle and taking a healthy swig.
The only time alcohol was opened in my house was to celebrate something; maybe my father was celebrating my mother’s absence. That’s one thing I’d be celebrating, but my dad rarely ever celebrated anything. He was such a bland porcupine, never did anything but work, sleep, eat, and occasionally give my mother a good fucking, but ‘her god’ forbid I ever call it anything but love making. It made me want to vomit either way so I chose not to think about it often. Though I do occasionally wonder why they didn’t just have another child, maybe a brother, one who could grow up to be the shining example I was never able to be. If anything, it would give me a little bro to fuck around with. Who knew what my deviant mind could think of?
I shuddered and shook my head in direct objection to the stinging burn as the warm liquid slid down my throat to join with the mix of stomach acids and jackrabbit cum; a minor pain to deal with in order to gain some true Southern Comfort. I didn’t drink often; it was always harder to get than weed or any other street substance, but always stole a chance to swipe some if I could. The bottle was already half gone and I knew my mother wouldn’t notice if a gulp was missing.
I replaced the bottle’s lid and left it to rummage through the fridge. I was about to grab an unopened package of cookies to take to my room when I heard the door to my parent’s bedroom open. It always stuck to the frame and made a real distinctive noise when it opened. I knew it was my father so I didn’t quickly stash the cookies because I knew he wouldn’t stop me, even if he had bought them for himself. So I grabbed a soda and tossed the cookies on the counter. I pulled out the liter of Sprite, another one of my dad’s favorites, but I knew a single can of Mtn. Dew wouldn’t hold me off for the entire night.
When I shut the fridge, my father came around the corner from the hall and I almost didn’t recognize him. I missed the counter as I tried to place the liter beside the cookies and ended up just letting it hang at the end of my limp arm. He wore only a pair of black boxer briefs and a blank but obviously drunk expression. I have a pretty good memory of my life even before it went to shit and I couldn’t recall a single instant where my father was intoxicated enough to parade around in his underwear. He had stopped upon seeing me and just wavered there a moment as if he had to remember who I might be and why I was about to eat his food.
Any other day I would have just ignored him like he usually ignored me but this was a new and totally strange encounter. The name my grandparents had given him was Devon Green. I’ve called him Devon more than I have dad in the past five years. I don’t know what goes on in his mind but there are times when I think it’s either thinking about me or his brother; my uncle, Markel Green. Maybe he suffered at the paws of his older brother like I have, but I know that he could have stopped it if he wanted. I was only nine at the time; he was much older and had the power. I didn’t.
He sauntered over towards me, and it was safe to say he was tanked. I didn’t know why but he reached across me and grabbed the bottle off the counter. I could smell whisky on his breath and he didn’t even have to open his mouth, it seemed to be sweating out of his pores. It was unusual because I’ve never been afraid of my father; knowing quite well he was a passive porcupine and even though he was taller than me by a foot, porcupines weren’t that big of a species. But now, he was drunk and demons were let loose sometimes when under the influence of such spirits. It took more nerves to set the sprite bottle onto the ledge than I would have liked.
Devon just spun the top off, sending it twirling to the floor and under the fridge, before taking chug after chug. My eyes widened at his alcohol intake because I knew that something must have really unnerved him to drink this heavily. Normality comforts, I know this to be true with many furs, even with me sometimes. Sure I’ve gotten used to some un-normal things, but when those things are broken it still affects me. Like when my dad comes out of his room, nearly naked, and drinks a shit ton of whisky, it’s grounds to worry.
“Thought you’d be home sooner dan dis, Dallas.” He slurred like a drunk. I was impressed that he didn’t let any dribble over his chin, as drunk as he was, and I’m glad he didn’t start calling me son because that wouldn’t be normal either. I wasn’t used to seeing him this naked either. Sometimes late at night he’ll be out here sneaking snacks in his pajamas as I normally would. I guess I get my size from him. He’s not fat, but has that roundness that makes him look stronger than he really is but it makes me realize that getting married to another porcupine just to have kids didn’t seem practical to me. I don’t even think I’ve found a single porcupine attractive and I have a lot of family on my mother’s side, but they were all like her. “I’ve had to act as your stand in, boy.”
He wasn’t making any sense, but it made perfect sense. He was drunk, and fuck me if I was going to take care of him. It was the first time in a long time that I wish my mother was home so she could take care of this mess. I just wanted to get naked, but in the privacy of my room where I can think about the things I I want to think about without worry. This was just over kill.
“It’s not yur fault though.” Devon continued looking with a little bit more centeredness than before, but still with that drunken up and down pattern. He almost seemed confused, like he didn’t know where he was, I don’t blame him. This house was like a prison to me despite its nice furnishings. “I remember, I do, all those times. It’s like, payback I guess, right? I was, no, it was a bad thing, ya know, and, and, I was too busy thinking about myself and, and, what happened…to me, ya know?”
I saw a sympathetic face behind the intoxication and at first I didn’t know where it was coming from, or what he was even talking about. He leaned in towards me, paws coming up to my upper arms, holding me against the counter as he transferred some of his weight on me. I almost pushed him off me, shouted at him to take a fucking nap, but it was then that I noticed the tears welling up in his dark eyes. That’s something I’ve never seen. He was a grown male, drunk enough to cry, but about what. I had a horrible feeling that I knew why.
“Dad I don’t think you should be up, maybe I should get you in bed.” I say using my own paws to steady him. He was in danger of falling over but he was leaning against me pretty hard and maybe that was why I decided to call him dad. Maybe I missed the fatherly influence that vanished after Uncle Markel left us both broken and missing pieces. “Let me help you to your room.”
“No…” He shook his head, his nose pressing against my head quills. I was a little worried he’d smell Kaiser on me, but it was a silly thought. All I could smell was the alcohol on him and the… There was something else and I had noticed it a second ago, but now that he was pressing himself on me I could smell it in his fur; the very distinct scent of cum that I was all too familiar with. “You can’t find him, he’s waiting fer me ta get back, yur gonna, you don’t wanna, I don’t want you too…”
“Find who?” I ask him firmly, but he just keeps shaking his head, mumbling under his breath and for the first time I realize he wasn’t leaning on me, he was holding me back, protecting me, guarding me, but from what? If my dad had jerked off I wouldn’t have smelt it on him, and he said someone was in the room waiting for him, a male. Was my father gay like me? That was impossible, he was married to my mother and I knew he had a stash of straight pornos in his closet that I was never really too interested in because it was all big-breasted females.
“Dev!”
The voice reverberated throughout the house and settled like a cold freeze inside my bones. My legs turned to mush, my stomach to lead and my quills were sent standing on end even through my t-shirt. I expected my dad to hug me but his paws left me and I was left to back into the opposite corner while his lips met the whisky bottle again because somehow he knew it was inevitable. 
I wanted to refuse what I saw with my own two eyes. I wished I could pluck them from my sockets but I knew that wouldn’t help defend against any physical pain that might follow. The second porcupine that rounded the corner was much larger than either my father or me and his naked body reiterated why I had come to fear the male before me. His quills were thicker than I remembered but the scar below his right ear was still as vivid. I didn’t want too, but my eyes fell to his exposed groin, taking in his soft sheath and colossal balls hanging below. I remembered those all too well.
“Dev, what the hell’s taking you so long? Get back here and get fucked like a real male.” He grunted in the deepest voice I had ever heard from any other male in my family. I used to take comfort in that very same voice, it was a comfort that betrayed me the very first and the very last night he fucked me. I used to think it was a powerful, righteous voice, but he used it to twist and distort what he spoke into what the listener believe to be true and righteous. He was about to say something else, some other line of disgusting words, but that’s when he noticed me trapped in the corner and his face slowly contorted into a grin that I had hoped to never see again. But there it was.
“Is that my little nephew Dallas?” He asked taking a few steps but not in my direction. I could hear the poison in his words, the intent he hid behind the dark delight in his voice. I knew know what my father had been saying. He said that he had been acting as my stand in, because Markel was here. My father was taking sip after sip of whisky, his quills quivering and for the first time in five years, I felt sorry for him. Markel of course noticed this and was leisurely making his way toward him. “When I spoke to your mother this morning she said you had grown into a pawful of trouble. She said you were lacking some discipline. Maybe this is because you don’t have a very good father figure in your life.”
I watched in disbelief as Markel reached inside the back of my father’s black underwear. I noticed they had a slight wet stain on the back. The whisky bottle came down, hitting the counter with a thump. I was surprised it didn’t break but wasn’t surprised when my father shivered at his brother’s touch. Markel kept his thumb and pinky finger outside while the other three probed my father’s tail-hole; the already stretched muscles easily giving way to the three digits. ‘He’s been fucking him. That’s why he’s drunk.’
“Your father’s too much of a pussy to issue any discipline.” Markel chuckled as he fingered my dad, his poor paws clutching at the countertop while minute whimpers could be heard below his sudden gasp in surprise. “He’s a bottom boy who’ll never live up to me. Maybe I should fuck you right here, give your son a show, maybe I can get him to fuck you if he gets horny enough. I always knew you were jealous that I made the move on the boy before you could.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I refused to. I knew that everything that came out of his muzzle was poison; my father had succumbed to it but I refused to. I didn’t want to believe his words. He had wormed his way into Devon’s head, brainwashing him to believe these things, ruined him, and for how long? For all I knew he could have begun taking advantage of my dad back when they were my age. I could just see a nine-year-old version of my pop and his fifteen-year-old brother, dominating him in more ways than one.
“F-fuck me…” My father whimpered and I felt my heart drop to my stomach to be boiled in acid. Merkel grinned and with a firm paw on his own brother’s shoulder pulled him up only to drive him forward into the adjacent counter where he was forcefully bent over. I wanted to scream, shout, jump to my dad’s rescue; save him like he was never able to do for me, but my legs didn’t work. Markel looked at me, his fingers still inside my father, and glared. It was a threat not to move and it worked all too well. I had pressed my back as far into the opposite counter as far as I could. I had all the intention of moving, but couldn’t.
“Don’t move, stand there and watch me screw your father like the useless fuck he is.” Markel growled as he pulled my father’s underwear down until they fell to his foot-paws. I could see his dick, hard and dripping like Kaiser’s had. Markel on the other paw was stroking his own sheath; coercing a monster from its cave. I watched as it grew to full length before my very eyes as he skillfully lined it up with my father’s dripping tail-hole. How many times had they fucked already, how many loads did he have inside him? How many did he endure for me? “That’s right, moan for it Dev.”
“F-fill me…” He groaned drunkenly, his pathetic boner twitching as his ass was jabbed suddenly with his own flesh and blood. Markel was in and he wasted no time. He didn’t even take hold of my dad’s hips, he just fucked with his paws at his side like he was only fucking him to fuck and nothing else. It was beyond trying to feel pleasure anymore. He only wanted to prove that he was on top and no one could best him. Even after all these years, he was still the self-proclaimed son of a bitch I knew when I was nine.
I felt a flutter inside. I didn’t know how to describe it beyond a jolt of reason that somehow manifested into something physical. I pitied my dad, but he was an adult and if he couldn’t help himself, no one could. My mom would come home eventually and things would return to normal, for them at least. I was in hell and I knew the only way out was to run, and I did.
My last glimpse of my uncle and father was Markel’s trademark fuck style. I remembered only after seeing it again. His arms were raised above his head, paws making fists as he flexed and fucked my dad like a dog. I wanted to vomit, sick up everything I had eaten that day, cum and all. But I ran. I slipped on the rainwater I had tracked in and hit my elbow against the pantry door as I scrambled to escape. That’s what got my Uncle’s attention. I heard his voice erupt from the kitchen as I reached the living room; nearly tripping over my own foot-paws.
“You’ll have to come back sometime and be ready for me cause I’m here to stay, you little punk.” He roared while I envisioned him fucking my father who whimpered beneath him with each thrust of cock. I threw the door opened and shot out into the rainy evening. The sun had set behind the mass of thick storm clouds, casing the entire valley into a hazy darkness that resembled the grainy grays of nightmares. It was like a repeat of this morning, storming from my house. Only this time I was fueled by fear and panic as I ran headlong into the storm itself. The only thing I had enough wits about me to see was the for sale sign inside the window of Markel’s old house, but to my horror it didn’t say for sale. The big red letters of the white sign read ‘Sold’. I feared and hoped I would never have to come back to this place again.
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My fear, my anger, drove me on, blind as a bat in their sixties. Down flooding streets and darkened sidewalks I padded through the storm to gods knew where. I must have known something, some inkling of where I was needed because my short, stubby legs carried me fast through rain and wind to a darkened porch only seven blocks away. I was breathing hard and couldn’t stop my whole body from shivering despite the warm humidity. My jacket weighed a ton on my shoulders and my damn pants kept slipping off my tail. It was the simple and terrible definition of misery; something I knew all too well.
It was little relief to stand under the awning over the porch. It was dry. I was already soaking wet, my smokes were safe but countless droplets had trickled down the nape of my neck to dampen my shirt below. My jeans; my jeans were drenched and clung to my legs as the denim shrunk around my thighs; it nearly hurt.
I had thought briefly while I walked, had the idea to head for the teen center Ryan had referred me to, but it was clear across town and I didn’t think I could make it in my frazzled condition. I had no friends that lived close by; TK lived closer to where Kaiser and I had parked and walking there would be worse than trying to make it to the center. Anyone else would probably just turn me away; I was never really nice to anyone because I never let anyone be nice to me. I realize my pathetic problems now, but it was too late to do anything about it, so I was left with the one place I hoped I had a chance at shelter.
I waited as long as I could, evening out my breathing enough so as not to appear too desperate, even though I was. It was my defense mechanism; I never liked to show anyone my weakness. But I sucked it up and knocked after I thought my breathing was closer to normal. It felt and sounded like my paw knuckles barely made a sound on the heavy oak door. The rain pounded the awning and ground around me like a million kids dropping their pencils at once. I knew now why the substitute teachers didn’t like it. The sound could be deafening, who knew water could make so much noise.
When the door opened, I expected something quite different. My idea of Kasai’s father was a meek little bird who had raised a son like a daughter. Kasai was a pretty vocal bird, but I realized earlier that he never did anything that would label him gay and his love for sports was always a mystery. Now I knew why and where he had gotten it from.
His father was built like a football player and stood a good three feet above my meager four. He stood in the doorway with the door opened wide, shirtless and garbed in only a pair of green plaid pajama pants that hung on thick hips under a large but firm belly only a little smaller than Kaiser’s. His shoulders made the dragon look thin and only Ryan could probably contend with the masculine hawk before me. I shivered, but not because Markel had returned to ruin what little bit of life I had left, but because the hawk’s gaze struck me with an intimidation that I didn’t even think the huge bird knew he even had.
Sex was the farthest thing on my mind, but I felt my pants become just a little bit more strained, no thanks to my naughty parts that I cursed right then and there. The last thing I wanted was to be beaten to a pulp for popping a boner. But the hawk; Kasai’s father I presumed, just stood there, head a little cocked, one wing on the doorknob, the other pressed against the doorframe that I swore creaked as he leaned into it. I tried not to stare at his chest muscles as I spoke but it was no use.
“I-is…K-kasai…” I croaked but my throat was so clogged with fear, panic, fury and sorrow that I couldn’t speak. The hawk’s tail feathers twitched when he heard his son’s name and I only hoped he didn’t already know who I was. Kasai had such a huge beak sometimes I wonder if the whole school knew he was a little gay boy too. “I’m a friend…He wasn’t at school…I…”
“KASAI.” The hawk shouted with his head turned in towards the darkened interior of the house; the air felt cooler, dryer, and very welcoming. I couldn’t help but shiver again and only prayed to the empty, cloudy, heavens for a chance to dry my clothes and gain my bearings before figuring out what I was going to do. Leave it to my mother to file a police report. I’d be picked up if I lingered on the streets for too long. “You have a friend at the door.”
That sentence was the only thing that pierced the deafening roar of panic. I’m sure I looked a wreck, wet quills, soaked fur and clothes, who knew if his father was accustomed with punk rock, for all I knew he thought of me as some hoodlum who only knew his son because I fucked him. I hoped not.
The looming hawk stepped back, the darkness of the residence darkening his features but I knew it was only to let his son by; and there he stood. Kasai poked out from around the corner, expression in wonder as to who it might be on a rainy Friday afternoon. Like his father, he stared out, a miniature copy of his father, only more clothes covered his little body. Unlike his father, he wore a shirt that fit his chest snugly. It was black with silver scrollwork that painted an image of two dragons fighting. His shorts were gray, the same ones from Monday. The other difference was his expression changed the instant he saw me. His face lit up and his arms opened wide as his whole body seemed to fly out towards me.
“Dallas!” He squawked. “I knew something had happened after I saw you on Monday, I worried you got in trouble. I hoped nothing to bad happened. I felt bad you got suspended and I know it wasn’t fair, well, maybe not in some fur’s eyes but I knew you didn’t mean anything by it.”
I didn’t expect it and after the last half hour of hell, I made to flinch away. But feathery arms wrapped themselves around my neck; carefully hugging my back and not my neck quills as if he had planned to hug me before now. My paws moved  on their own to wrap around his waist where they simply rested on his lower back; not too low, above his tail-feathers, because his father was still standing there but the larger bird only looked interested, not shocked or worried that his son was hugging another boy. The bombardment of words barely made since to me but I had a general idea of what he said.
It felt so good. I’m sure my face was wide eyed and clueless looking, but I couldn’t deny that it felt good to be in the arms of someone who cared enough about me to lunge and hug me so. I wanted to cry but the rage inside me kept my cheeks wet only to rainwater, not tears.
“What’re you doing here?” Kasai asked pulling away from me with a curious smile. I knew he only did it so he could talk to me but when my paws slipped from his hips they didn’t want to fall to my sides. I had to force them down and remind them that they had no purpose now; one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
“I… uh…” I spoke and shivered again. Kasai noticed my chill but it was his father who spoke.
“It looks like you’re soaked down to your fur.” He spoke with such a deep and warm voice; it remained me of my uncle when we was nicer all those years ago. But Kasai was a good kid and never said anything about hating his father. I knew it was against my better judgment, but I decided to trust that deep voice. I had to. I had no other options. “Kasai, take him inside, have him put his clothes in the dryer. I don’t think we have anything to fit a porcupine, but underwear is universal, I can find him a clean pair.”
Kasai nodded to his father and took me by the paw. His wing was warm and comforting, even as I was led into the house, past his father’s handsome and hulking form; I trusted Kasai. He had been a bother to me in the past, but never gave me a reason not to trust him. 
The front door was shut behind me and I noticed I left wet paw-prints on the dark carpet but no one said anything so I let the young hawk lead me onwards. We followed a very short hall until we came to a large room that could have been a second living room and a door that led to a tidy garage. Tools of all kinds hung the length of the opposite wall along with a workbench that spanned the entire section. An electric lawnmower was parked in the corner along with a weed-eater, a few shovels, rakes, and a hoe.
Directly inside were matching washing machine and dryer. The door to the dryer was flung open by Kasai’s wing and only after he programmed the settings did he let my paw go. Again, I had to tell my paw to lower itself. It did so a bit better this time but Kasai noticed my eyes watch his wing fall away mournfully. It made his features darken for the first time.
“Dallas, I’m sorry I got you in trouble.” He spoke with his winged paws clutching the door to the dryer. He looked down at his foot-claws while he turned on them, twisting his waist back and forth. “Maybe if I didn’t catch you, you wouldn’t have gotten in trouble.”
He sent my own paws twisting together, without a warm wing to hold they didn’t seem to know what to do. Sure, it was easy to blame Kasai this week for my suspension, but it was actually all my fault. My own adolescent urges fucked everything up. Maybe it was because I was curious when I was eight that my uncle let me suck his cock. If I had been normal, like every other boy, I’d have told on him, but who would have believed me, my mother? She thought Markel was a saint, let alone a sick pedophile.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I spoke. I shifted on my own foot-paws but only half because I was so emotionally fucked up. Now that I was out of the storm and my breathing was returning to normal, my clothes were becoming more and more uncomfortable. “It was mine… I uh... I fucked up.”
Kasai never cursed but he didn’t flinch at the word like my mother would. I could just imagine what she must have thought about my goodbye earlier today. Kasai had the street-smarts and the book-smarts, unlike me who only had one; the one that would never help me if I ever wanted to be someone in life.
Kasai looked ready to speak but his father came out of nowhere caring something black in his large feathery paw. Kasai looked up to his father and smiled. I couldn’t remember the last time I had smiled at mine. I remembered that I had left my own dad to submit to the sexual whims of his brother. I couldn’t help him, not alone. He needed to find a way to help himself.
When the larger bird was looming over both of us, he handed the black clothing to me. I took it a little hesitantly and found to my utter embarrassment that they were a pair of black boxer briefs; my size exactly.
“I got your name from my son. He’s told me a little bit about you. Your name’s Dallas right? How many porcupines are there in this valley? Right?” He asked and I felt my heart plummet to my groin where it made my balls ache in shame. Kasai’s one flaw was that he spoke too god damned much. Who knew what the little birdie had told his much larger father. I didn’t know what a normal father-son relationship was like but who’s to know if Kasai spoke of everyone who fucked him. I was only aware of one, myself, maybe two if the Mr. Martin thing was true. He held out a wing and again I almost flinched like a coward but a little too late I realized he only wanted my paw in his. “My mane is Takr Nikami, Kasai’s father. I apologize for my attire, I don’t go out often on the weekends so I don’t see the need to be dressed to impress often. None of Kasai’s friend’s seem to mind though, not after I whip them up a snack. Are you hungry?”
The synapses in my brain weren’t firing right and I had to force my paw up to be clutched firmly before Takr shook. I nodded to all his questions and swallowed hard but the lump in my throat wouldn’t go down. Takr grinned and I saw a future Kasai staring back at me. I had always imagine Kasai’s father to be more timid, maybe weak, but I realize now that those misconceptions were stemmed from my own hatred for gays and myself. Kasai wasn’t timid or weak, he took a cock like a champ, and always had that ‘go and get ‘em’ attitude. It was different, but when Takr let my paw go, I felt that empty feeling again. Maybe I’m just sick and tired of being alone, in my thoughts and physically.
“Great, I know I’m ruining your appetite for dinner son, but I could use a second snack.” He spoke to Kasai who giggled in return, oblivious to any self-consciousness. When he turned back to me, he nodded to the underwear in my paws. “You get out of those wet clothes Dallas, no one likes a cold.”
“Yes sir.” I spoke softly, finding my voice was stronger than I thought. It’s amazing what a little compassion could do.
“This isn’t the military.” He grunted sternly. “Call me Takr, no need to talk up to me when we’re on the same level. I don’t know what you’re used to, but here, no one is above the other. There are rules, but if they’re followed than there isn’t anything to worry about.”
“Uh, okay… um… Takr.” I reply. It felt weird. Then again, and I know my brain is slow on the up take, but neither Ryan nor Kaiser talked down to me like my mother or teachers always did.
“Perfect.” The older hawk said. He placed a wing on Kasai’s head and ruffled his red-brown feathers. Kasai didn’t protest and groan an ‘aww, dad…’ like I would have if my life had turned out differently. Instead, he pressed up into his touch and savored the contact until it was gone quite suddenly and I was alone with the young bird and his silly grin. When he didn’t say anything, I shrugged and asked “What?”
“So you’re not mad at me?” He asked; his grin only turned to curiosity again like before.
“If I was mad at you, do you think I’d be here right now, letting you lead me through your house?” I ask finding myself a bit more now that it was just me and Kasai again.
“So then, why are you here Dallas?” He asked. I knew the question was coming and the fact that I was already inside Kasai’s home before having to explaining myself said a lot about their hospitality. Takr was kind of scary, his size and all. Kasai was freakishly kind already, but I had come to find that it ran in the family. Takr had taken me in without an explanation and it seemed like he didn’t even need one before he fed me. I couldn’t maintain Kasai’s constantly curious gaze so my eyes danced about as I replied.
“I had a fight with my family.” I spoke. I wasn’t sure how much Kasai knew about my past from what I wrote in that notebook two years ago, but I knew he was aware that my uncle had a lot to do with it. “I went to the school to find you today. Don’t ask me why. I’m not even sure I know. But when I got home, my uncle was there, and…he was…”
I didn’t want to think about it and my stupid tears made that clear. Kasai closed the small space between us and buried his wings inside my heavy jacket. I didn’t expect another hug, and in a way, I didn’t expect such a sudden response from the hawk. I didn’t hug back right away, and it was better that way because Kasai only paused a moment, chest pressed to mine, beak nestled against my chest, before he lifted his arms along with my jacket. I was forced to raise my arms until the leather was up and over my head.
Kasai hung it over the washing machine to dry out, he must have felt my pack of Marlboros because he dug them out along with my lighter and set them on top the damp fabric.
“You really shouldn’t smoke, ya know.” He said and turned to me. I always felt naked without my jacket, and even though I liked being naked most times, it didn’t stop me from being conscious of my chubby form. “I set the dryer; do you want me to wait in the den while you undress? I know you don’t like it when I, you know, look at you.”
His wing was already on the doorknob, ready to flee at the command. Did they really expect me to only wear a pair of underwear around their house? What kind of family did Kasai have? Was his dad a pedophile? I know I jump to conclusions often, but its better safe than sorry. I didn’t really like anyone to see me naked unless sex was involved. With Kasai, sex was always a possibility, but we were in his house, not at school where I could do, and get away with, anything. Well, almost anything.
“No…” I say abruptly and Kasai froze in midstride. He looked up at me with that curious expression and I almost couldn’t believe my own words. “I’ve denied a lot of things in the past. Things ‘you’ have no problem admitting. I guess I want to apologize for all the times I called you a fag. I know you don’t act like one. I was just forcing my own self-loathing upon you.”
I swallowed hard, but I knew that it was my way of showing the hawk that I was sorry for all the times I had shoved him and called him gay and a queer. With shaky paws I clutched the hem of my faded shirt and lifted the wet fabric up over my belly, above my shoulder, and over my head; releasing my flattened quills and fur that stuck to my flesh below. I felt so exposed, hot and embarrassed under Kasai’s surprised but amused stare. I wanted to hide my chest and belly but I knew Kasai was too nice to judge anyone, so I tossed my shirt into the opened dryer. My pants came next and I found them harder to remove.
I had no underwear on underneath, my briefs were probably being pressed against Kaiser’s snout while he blew another creamy load in remembrance of our hot little endeavor. I unbuttoned them, my chin pressed to my chest as I worked the wet denim. The zipper went easily but working the pants off my hips was a challenge. I heard Kasai start to giggle as my face erupted in searing hot. My sheath and balls were exposed and I wanted to get into those boxer briefs as fast as I could but I couldn’t pry my legs free. Kasai had to come to my rescue; grabbing my pant leg and tugging as I pushed them further and further down.
It ended with me having to sit down; cold concrete freezing my butt while the young hawk wrestled the tight jeans from my foot-paws. My heals came down with a thump and Kasai stumbled backwards, clutching my pants and staring at my nakedness with awe. I looked down and my pink taper was sticking out through the tip of my sheath. I wanted to so badly, but I refused the impulse to quickly cover myself. Kasai deserved it, and to be honest, despite my embarrassment, I wanted him to see me like this too.
“Guess I’m guilty.” I said and stared at the hawk a little shamefully. It made him smile though. He took the liberty of stuffing the wet jeans into the dryer, closing the door and pressing the button to start the cycle. It broke the silence and made speaking easier because it drowned out the sound of my own apprehension. “See, I’m just as gay as you, Kasai.”
I pulled my sheath down over my cock and held it there for Kasai’s viewing pleasure. Kasai smiled and held out a wing. I expected him to dive down and start sucking but we both seemed to realize that wasn’t a very good idea taking in the time and place. I took my paw from dick and grabbed his wing, letting him help me to my foot-paws with extraordinary ease. I guess exercise pays off because I never would have expected the hawk to lift me up like that. I picked up the fallen undergarments and pulled them up my legs where they fit snugly around my waist; my boner clearly outlined under the fabric.
“So what are you going to do Dallas?” Kasai asked. I knew he was asking about my problems with my uncle. It was only fair I told the hawk, his family was taking me in and he should at least know what was going on with me.
“I don’t know.” I said trying not to think about it beyond a problem that needed a solution. I suck at math so I had to figure out where I was going, when and how with only my street-smarts. Good luck Dallas. “I met this hyena today, said his boyfriend works with underprivileged gay teens and shit. Said it was kinda like a shelter, I figure I could stay there for a while.”
“Why not just stay here, we have three bedrooms and only two are in use.” He asked with a little too much excitement. I may have realized I had a thing for the hawk but living with him still might drive me nuts. The thought was almost enough to make me chuckle, but I still felt sick to my stomach about my whole situation.
“I wouldn’t want to mooch off you and your father.” I said. I was never humble, I never knew anyone who deserved it, but I felt like it called for it here, in this situation. “You know how much of a lazy fuck I am.”
It kind of hurt to talk about myself that way, but I was used to it. It’s all I heard at school and at home. Though my mother had a particularly venomous way of saying it without sounding like a total bitch, but it didn’t take away from her frigid attitude towards me and my lifestyle or sexual orientation.
“Do you want me to go with you when you go?” Kasai earnestly asked.
“To the shelter?” 
“Sure, you’ve never been somewhere like that, have you?”
“No, have you?”
“Nah, but it’s always better to do things like that with a buddy by your side.” Kasai chirped and it made me smile.
“Buddy?” I asked.
“Sure, I’m not sure if you think of me the same way,” Kasai spoke, twiddling his wing feathers together as if he was nervous, but his shyly cute smile said otherwise. “But I think of you as my friend. I’m sure you need one.”
“Maybe I do.” I sighed, stretching my waistband out a bit before letting it snap back below my belly. “I…uuhhgfff…”
The air left my lungs but I snatched it back with a quick a sharp breath through my nose. Kasai smelled good as he hugged my naked torso. I’ve never had the chance; I was always too busy fucking him or belittling him without success. He had too tough a shell around his self-esteem to let anything some bully said affect him much. I’m still not used to hugs like this but it didn’t take long before I was hugging back, enjoying the warmth and comfort of another fur’s body and presence.
“I’m glad you came, Dallas.” He spoke softly over my shoulder and I just held his back in my paws, pressing my deviant erection into a noticeable length in his shorts. I finally let a chuckle rise up out of my chest and found the hawk laughing as well.
“KASAI, DALLAS, SNACKS!” The familiar sound of Takr’s voice boomed from the other side of the house and Kasai pulled away with that innocently kind grin that I knew only he could pull off. He made to pull me along again but I acted as dead weight. When he looked at me with that ‘what’s up’ stare, I sighed again, embarrassment flooding my being again.
“I’m in a pair of your dad’s old underwear,” I said stating the obvious with reluctant mirth. Kasai seemed to understand immediately and shucked his shirt off his back to reveal a fiery red chest of feathers and lean muscles and a sturdier stomach that I’d kill for. He was nowhere near as big as his father was, not yet, but already it was obvious that he was inheriting his physique. 
“Better?” He asked holding his shirt loosely in his wing. ‘Better?’ I thought, if it was better it was because I finally realized how attractive this pesky hawk actually was. Again, he was giving my erection purpose.
“I guess.” I said not believing my own words. It must have been enough for Kasai because he took my paw and pulled me along with a strength that I underestimated once again.
It was still raining outside and it only briefly reminded me of the storm I had come from. I didn’t have enough time to dwell on it however as I was ushered around the corner, pass the front door, by the living room and to a dining room table where a large, shirtless black bear sat with his paws behind his head while he listened to a smaller fur across from him. I could smell cream cheese from the adjacent kitchen but what really surprised me was the smaller form at the table. It was a badger, shirtless and deep in conversation with the much older bear.
Kasai brought me up to the edge of the table where the badger stopped talking to fully turn in his chair while the black bear remained nearly motionless. Only the eyes above his honey brown muzzle shifted. I realized they were both in their underwear; the badger in a loose pair of boxer shorts but only a jock strap covered anything on the muscular, chubby, boner popping, bear.
“Royce, Dyver, this is Dallas. I’m sure you already know him kinda.” He said looking at the badger on the last point. “But Dyver, this is the boy I’ve been telling my dad about for the last few days.”
Royce; the badger, only waved with a similarity to Kasai’s normal cheerfulness but Dyver; the huge black bear extended a paw that could have engulfed both my paws and crush them to dust. I nervously relinquished my paw and found that not only was his grip gentle, but he leaned in and kissed my paw like they did in those cheesy movies from the fifties. Kasai giggled and Royce bit his paw as he stifled a laugh of his own.
“That’s enough Casanova.” Takr said suddenly above us all. He lowered a plate of bagels onto the table; lightly spread with cream cheese and topped with raisins and cinnamon. Dyver let my paw go with the slightest of smirks and all I could do was watch as Kasai raced to the chair next to Royce. Takr, dressed in and apron, pulled the chair at the head of the rectangular table out and offered me a seat. I dreadfully realized I still had a semi and made a painfully obvious attempt to hide it. “If everyone in this house went out of their way to hide a boner nothing would get done.”
I stared blankly at Takr, his statement having sent my mind flying off into space. This was someone’s father, Kasai’s father sure, but adults are supposed to shun sex, especially when it was in the presence of their own child. Kasai had already grabbed a bagel half, Royce was trying to pick one that fit his liking, and Dyver just seemed intent on watching the cubs dig in. I didn’t understand it.
“My mother would have a heart attack if she saw me like this.” I whispered to myself and only Takr heard me because he placed a wing on my shoulder; avoiding nearby quills.
“That’s her problem now, isn’t it?” He said and with an understanding look he guided me into the chair, helping me shoot in after I had seated myself. He patted me a couple times in condolence. Who knew what he was aware of, who knew what Kasai knew? All I knew was that I was in a place that understood somehow. It was warm, welcoming, and promised snacks so who was I to refuse it? Takr’s golden eye winked and with that, he found his way beside the black bear, across from his son were he chose his own bagel half. “The anatomy of a male should be appreciated as much as the female, if not more. Besides, it’s always nice to have extra company here. I can’t remember the last time the house was this full.”
“It was on my birthday last year.” Kasai spoke through a mouthful of bagel. Takr made a reminiscent motion with his whole beak.
“Before we hooked up.” Takr spoke, directing his comment towards the black bear by leaning to the side where their arms met slightly. That’s all I needed to add one and one to make two. I couldn’t believe it. Well, I could, but I was sitting in a chair, being offered snacks in my underwear at a table where three, possibly four other gay furs sat. “Did Kasai introduce everyone Dallas?”
“You distracted me with more bagels dad.” Kasai spoke in mock accusation. Royce giggled.
“Dyver is a good friend; I’ve known him for a while.” Takr spoke. “We met through work. I manage a small company that makes and distributes quality sporting gear and Dyver was a truck driver that delivered for us. It wasn’t till recently that we got to know each other more.”
“He’s your boyfriend.” I said and wished I hadn’t. Takr just nodded but I felt embarrassed beyond belief. The bear’s presence next to me was monstrous, and despite his quite façade, I could tell he was a powerhouse of testosterone. I chanced a glance at the mass of black fur and found only a humble shrug in reply.
“Of course that came later,” Takr continued before taking a bite of bagel and chewing, waiting to swallow his food; unlike his boy who was going back for a second helping. “I met Dyver five years ago, after. We’ve both been married before and we shared a lot of things in common. He became a building block that helped me cope I suppose. Kasai was the biggest help of course. I only recently discovered Dyver’s feeling towards me and by then I had grown to like him too and the thought of getting with another female just seems redundant now. Ugh, listen to me talk on about boring stuff like that. I’m sure you know Royce; he’s my son’s best friend. Apparently they’re going steady now though.”
Both hawk and badger face reddened and I felt my insides do a summersault. Kasai had a boyfriend? This badger? Royce, was his name? It was ridiculous but I could feel a jealousy bubbling up inside that I never thought would rear its ugly face in this type of situation. Hell, I didn’t even think this kind of situation was possible. Both adults chuckled and I had to hide my teeth gridding by grabbing a semi-circle of bagel before chomping through it. I felt stupid, why would I be jealous of someone who I only recently found out I had feelings for. If anything, I was in the wrong for assuming the hawk would like me back like that. Kasai said he was glad I was there, so I clung to that.
I must have played it off well because Takr said something that made the boys chuckle despite their embarrassment. I had never known Kasai to be embarrassed easily. Maybe he truly loved the little badger boy. Maybe, just maybe, I would get to see them fuck.
“Well,” Takr said. His deep voice bringing me back out from inside my own mind. It could be a dangerous place I’ve come to realize, if I’m left in there too long that is. I tend to think things over to the point of turning shit around and away from the truth. I didn’t want to turn anything over here because I knew I’d be disrupting the sanctuary the two couples have worked hard to build. My problems shouldn’t be allowed to mix with anything here. “I was going to make you watch a movie with me and Dyver but if you and Royce want to take Dallas to your room and find something to do there I’d be fine with that. I have it recorded to the DVR anyways.”
“Sure daddy, any rules?” He asked and I wasn’t sure what he meant by it. I remembered Takr say something about rules but it had been so long since I had followed any rules myself.
“Hmmm,” The big hawk thought, leaning back in his chair, his left wing drifting precariously closer to where I knew Dyver’s jock was under the table. The bear just looked at nothing and made only the slightest of movements when I knew the wing had made contact. It had to be one of the hottest things I’ve ever witnessed. His son was sitting directly across from him and there he was, grabbing the crotch of another, nearly naked male. “I say, as long as you all participate and you clean up any mess you make, you can throw the rules out the window tonight. Dallas is your guest Kasai so it’s only fair you make him feel at home.”
Those words were getting me stiff in my boxer briefs and according to Takr; I shouldn’t hide it. I wasn’t sure about these rules but I had a feeling that the black cloth hugging my ass would very shortly become redundant.
