[center]Twice Integrated[/center] 
 

     Pale, bloody, full moon. Stars sparkling, staring. Crunching gravel and snow underfoot echoes inside my ears. It’s nowhere near as loud as the howling. Baying wolves tormenting my eardrums. Rancorous shouting with those low cries sounds so near and far. Splitting my head in two. Searing inside my head! Turning stomach and hot tears take me away from the anxiety only to throw me into the thick of it. Thrown to the wolves. 

     Snap. Snap. Snap. Branches beneath their paws. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Frosty grass fracturing underfoot. Panic and fear take the reins. Terror tearing my heart apart. Beating wildly, beating harshly, filling my ears with the pulse of blood. Vessels nigh bursting from all the pressure. Pressure I exert to run. Run fast, run far. Away from those howls. 

     Holding back my breath, I pause a moment. No more cries. No more wolves. Howls scratching my brain quiet down. Shuddering, shaking, still. Heartbeat calming. Pacing myself, and taking the solitude as reprieve. 

     Laughing to myself, all I can think is to speak whatever words pass through my mind. Hushed, of course. Gravely silent, with lips barely twitching, “Did I make it? Finally escape?” Darting eyes catch nothing but peace. Dancing tongue speaks, “Just relax... Breathe. All is right. You’re fine.”

     Crunch. Crunch. Snap. Snap. Branches beneath their feet. Eyes of yellow embers radiant and mortifying peer from black night. Illuminated by bloody moonlight. Ebony fur, ivory fangs. On two legs he stands. Gangly, long, furry arms sporting daggers on each digit. Long snout pointing right at me, eyes watching my every frozen breath. Moonlit night, demon’s might. 

     Locking up, I still my breath. Heart stops, mind stops, muscles stop, time stops. Everything blasted by arctic chill from within. Hands and feet locked in place, trapped in snow. Trapped in their owner’s panic. 

     “We just can’t seem to part, can we?” 

     Lugging himself closer, his bristly fur coats him perfectly. Feral intelligence, and a mind of his own. Refined stomping as he brutally carries himself with grace. Yet each motion closer fills my ears with familiar sounds. Howling. 

     Darkness creeps through my vision. Panic weighs the world on my heart. My lungs can’t catch up... Nearly falling back, I fumble blindly. Sluggish limbs from a tired, exhausted, weak self... Running no more. 

     “Well? I swear, it’s as if you’ve seen a monster.” 

     Gasping, panting, hyperventilating. Noise is all I make. Noise is all I have. Deep in this nightmare. 

     “Come now, I don’t bite. Much.” 

     Tall, dark, and intimidating. What I would give that I’d never have to face this sight in my life. “N-Now what!?” Intently watching the beast stand paints a new picture in the gentle light. Visage of nightmares, yet a seemingly plain emotion. Terror. Caught between the cocky grin of capturing prey, and a menace without malice. 

     “Easy. Do you wish to flee? Once again, I’ll catch you. Again, I’ll ask. This same question, each and every time.” 

     Shadows dance between the trees, taking warped, hideous shapes. Distorted, warped howls and snarls centimeters from my ears spark a quiet uproar in my mind. Mouthing nothing for moments as my voice abandons me. 

     “Not a hard question.” 

     Pity smolders in those embers. 

     Choking on the first letter, I gulp. “N-N-N" Those fluffy, angular ears perk and twitch. Even obscured by blinding fear, it’s obvious. 

     “Ah? What was that I heard?” 

     Grinning the way only an animal could, he steps closer. Blanketing himself in shade again and taking a softer approach. Closer, closer, closer... Stopping. Never lunging or pouncing any distance away. 

     “I don’t have to be evil. I am what you make of me. Merely accept, and I’ll let this chase end.” 

     Nodding with a whimper is all I manage. Tilting my head back, I bare my throat... only to feel my arm tugged. “Huh?” Abating anxiety breaks the strain on my voice. Finally, I can speak. 

     “Itches, urges, and all your base emotions swirl around in that head of yours. I can quiet them. Not entirely, but no longer will you be bound by fear. Bestial though I am, your instincts are too strong for your own good.” 

     Enough is enough. “What do mean!?” Tilting my head, the external chill on my palms and fingers starts breaking through. Shakily standing, I lean against a tree for support. “You don’t make any sense!” 

     “Me? Afraid to admit it, I see. You’re the one not making sense.” 

     Furrowing my brow, I stand in silence for a second. Naught but the wind whistling in the surroundings. Interrupted by me. “Not making sense? Not making sense!? I don’t want to be like you! I... I don’t want to lose myself.” 

     “You haven’t already? Why run then?” 

     Agape, I stare. Heaving breaths wrack my chest. Quivering fists pull close to my chest while fire lights in my heart. “Run from what? You? Of course, I would! Ripping me apart, tearing into me, changing me, chaining me down to that horrible existence!” 

     “Horrible? You wound me. I said as such, it’s whatever you make of it. I won’t say it’s all sunshine and rainbows... but neither is your life like this, is it?” 

     Casting my gaze down is all I can think to do. Looking ahead isn’t possible. Lost, weak, dark, and stuck. “I’m... different, is that right?” 

     “Hmm... If that’s how you wish to see it, yes. There are many like this. Many who have yet to accept this too.” 

     Calmly, coldly, I can’t hold the tantalizing question back, “Will this actually help?” Seconds tick by, turning to a minute without a clear response... Until I feel breathing on the back of my neck. 

     “Indeed, it shall. Turn those base desires, those fears, those emotions into something stronger. Become it, become yourself.” 

     Shaking my leg, I hear the disturbed snow and branches breaking beneath me. Funny, breaking something while broken. Nodding, a fresh wave of tears descends down my face. “Do it already!” 

     “With pleasure... and thank you.” 

     Searing pain scores my body. Heat spreads from my collarbone all through my being. Body and soul alike burn in the metamorphosis. Aching, paining, and difficult in every sense of the word. Screaming hoarse, I feel myself change. Burning brighter and hotter. Tempering myself. 

     Fear vanishes. Anxiety disappears. Hate evaporates. I see things now. See what really should be, what I want and what I am. Happiness fills the core of my being. Beating heart pushes the racing blood through me. Never has it felt so welcome. 

     Darkness brightens, letting me see everything in greater detail. Trees, moon, snow, ice, and myself. Behind the embers in my irises, my brain is abuzz with all the wonderful sensations. Wonderful, new sensations. 

     All the howling returns in the distance. No longer terrifying, but joyous. Raising my snout up, I close my eyes as I join the chorus. Weaving myself into this beautiful new existence as I let out a howl of my own.