King Drone Gravel began bouncing as Bowser began rushing down his castle hallways. Flame crackled in the koopa’s muzzle as he leaned forward to expel a fireball. As usual, the plumber dodged. No matter how many defenses he prepared. No matter how many minions obstructed him, Bowser would always see that red cap and denim overalls leaping into his domain. Maybe this time was the lucky shot? Smoke and embers floated around the king’s head as he stared expectantly, waiting to see his adversary. Tension peaked as the moment stretched to eternity. Swirling smoke and fumes parted as Mario leaped through near the ceiling. Determination filled his eyes as he reached the apex of his jump. Bowser only scowled as he leaped backwards. It was a narrow hallway, but that never stopped the rivals from duking it out in more treacherous terrain before. Pulling back his arm, he gave a sliding haymaker. Claw marks from his raised foot scored the stones as he swiftly closed the distance to his adversary. True to his title of Jumpman, Mario sprang into the air above. Realizing his mistake too late, Bowser’s maw opened further, and his eyes widened in surprise before a boot came crashing down in his face. “GAH!” Bowser yelped as he stumbled back. Shaking his head, and gritting his fangs, he refocused on the small man raising gloved fists to him. Bowser’s rumbling voice shouted, “Mario! I will NOT let you ruin another wedding! I haven’t even finished planning yet!” Slashing at the air was his next attempt to best the plumber. Mario leaped back and hunched down to leap again. Another miss, another boot to the face. Bowser was seeing stars at this point. His eyes were spinning. Concentration failing, Bowser did his best to steady his stance and took a deep breath. “Bah!” Letting loose another grunt, Bowser began exhaling numerous fireballs, shooting them in an arc up towards the ceiling. Radiant orange covered his vision as flame after flame traveled onward. Finished with his assault, he glanced around, seeing if one of his attacks landed… then the stars got brighter, and the castle hallway faded. “Rise and shine, Your Surliness!” Colorful, geometric shapes began spinning in the koopa’s vision. Squares, circles, and triangles grew larger and brighter. It was almost painful. Soon, they enveloped Bowser’s vision as the black void changed to his bedroom. Kamek nodded to himself, “Good evening, Your Sleepiness. How are you feeling now?” Groaning, Bowser sat up to face the magikoopa as he spoke. Groggily he opened his jaws, “Did Mario—" “Yes. He has already abducted Peach and they have run all the way to Bubble Lake. They’re outside our grasp now.” Sighing, Bowser flopped back into his bed. “Get working on the remodeling of the castle again. All available minions will assist you.” “Understood, Lord Bowser.” A broom appeared next to Kamek’s feet in a puff of smoke. Hopping on it, he began to fly with it out the window. Red light from the nearby magma resembled the twilight sky, illuminating the destruction Mario caused more vibrantly. Pipes with Piranha Plants half empty, Goombas running around picking up rubble or patching up other goombas, koopas grabbing hammers and nailing supports into place. It would be a long road to rebuilding. Again. Nothing else could be done. Peach was gone, Mario was gone, the castle was in shambles, almost half of the army were nursing their wounds, and Bowser was out of commission as well. Time and rest were the only things left for them to use. Lying back, Bowser closed his eyes and began to recuperate. Months passed and Bowser finally recovered from his injuries. Outer fortifications to the castle were restored, but now came the time to design the internals once again. Blueprint after blueprint passed his tired eyes. Slamming his fist into the table he shouted, “No! Too simple! These designs don’t scream awesome or protective! Anyone would be able to waltz into here. Is there anything we haven’t tried?” Belching blaze, he incinerated the designs before him. “Your Angriness, there are new designs I’ve been thinking of!”, Kamek hastily responded. “We could harvest Fire Flowers for our koopa troops!” Nervousness was creeping into his voice as he wracked his brain for more options. Epiphany dawned in him as he nervously began shouting more possibilities, “Invest in some helmets for our goombas! Better wands for the magikoopa corps! Uh, maybe a new type of piranha plant?” The old magikoopa was already on his broom. Snorting, Bowser leapt off his seat, squinting at the wizard. “We’ve tried all those opti—Wait… A new type of piranha plant! I’ve had a great idea!” Misplaced pride surged in the king as his expression softened. “Kamek, use my idea and fill my pipes with a new piranha plant.” “Yes, your Insightfulness!” Kamek responded, rolling his eyes behind his thick glasses. Flying out to the new gardens, he started collecting seeds. “What am I going to make with these? Fire breath? No… Make them massive? Wait, tried that… Invisible? Well, I’d have to be casting it. If only there was a way to make them smarter. I wouldn’t need to manage them then.” Scratching his head and contemplating for a minute yielded no answers. Shrugging, Kamek just collected the seeds and held up his wand shouting, “Nothing a bit of magic won’t solve! Details can come later!” Green, blue, red. Triangle, square, circle. Those spun around and around the seeds as Kamek began to cast his enchantment. Colorful shapes coalesced into a brilliant flash. It was done. Whatever that was. Gathering the seeds in his robe, the wizard flew back to some smaller pipes and began dropping them all into different pipes. Test sample planted, all that was left to do was wait… Now to hope Bowser will wait too. [b]Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.[/b] Rhythmic, rapid tapping rapped on the floor where Bowser was. Tapping his foot and crossing his arms, he watched the pipes expectantly. “Grow already! Kamek, how long will this take?” Worry sprouted on Kamek’s face as he nodded to his lord shouting, “Not much longer, your Hastiness! T-They just need to absorb more nutrients to grow. Extra intelligence takes a lot.” “Make it faster then!” Leaning over the pipe and closing one eye, Bowser began glaring down the pipe. Blackness. Not even a hint of growth. Huffing, Bowser could feel his ire building and chose to release it with an indignant stomp and shouting, “Bah!” Resuming his usual glower, he was about to direct his frustration towards his underling when suddenly a noise erupted from the pipe. [b]Creeeeeeeeeeak…[/b] Vibrating throughout the room, the creak grew louder as the pipe rattled. Faster and louder, the pipe shook enough that Bowser began backing away from it. Cracks began forming at different sections of the pipe, splitting off like veins. Groans, cracks, and the sound of metal being forcefully reshaped grew to a crescendo…until they stopped. Silence reigned. A minute passed, then two, and a third with nothing changing. “Come on! Sprout!” Bowser stomped over and grabbed the damaged pipe, glancing down it like before. Blackness. “Where are you!?” Bowser tilted his head, putting his ear over the pipe now. “Uh, your Excitedness! I don’t think that’s a good—” [b]CREEEEEAK![/b] “Gah!” Shock broke out on Bowser’s face as he felt his ear fill up. Try as he might he couldn’t pull it out. Wriggling his head just made the thing more forceful. Dull aching sprouted in his head, along with the plant that was exploring it. “Ka-Kamek! Fix it!” Colors and smells that didn’t exist struck the king like a plumber’s boot. The plant was already inside his skull. “Y-Yes your Infestedness!” Waving his wand once more a vortex split open in the air. Flying through, Kamek shouted back, “I’m off to get the garden shears, just hold on!” [b]Munch. Crunch.[/b] A shudder rocked Bowser as static played in his head. Eyes half-open, his thoughts stopped. Shakily, he put his paws on the rim of the pipe and tried one more desperate push. [b]Crunch. Munch.[/b] Bowser slumped over the pipe. Pretty colors and strange chills felt good to him. Eyes rolling back, his face took on a dumb expression. His groin stirred as different parts of his brain seemed to start rapid-firing signals. [b]Munch. Crunch.[/b] Vapid emptiness. [b]Crunch. Munch. Buuuuuuurp![/b] Chartreuse vines sprang through Bowser’s other ear with a fuchsia bulb on top of it. The large piranha plant grinned, content with his meal. What a tasty brain the accessory around his vines had! “Your Burliness! I’ve returned with…the…um…” Kamek’s jaw opened wide. Bewilderment crossed his face as he spoke again, “Lord…Lord Bowser?” His king was standing there, drooling, limp, and dick rock hard and leaking while the piranha gazed stood tall through his other ear, leaning towards Kamek. Flicking his wrist, “Back off!” were the next words out of Kamek’s mouth as the same shapes that created this plant blasted it. Tongue out and falling to the ground, the piranha plant lay flat, stunned. It wasn’t long before a loud snap broke the silence as its vines were being cut. [b]SNAP! SNAP! SNAP![/b] They were thick and tough. Straining, the mage spent the better part of the hour just snipping each bit of foliage between the pipe and his boss’ cranium. Panting, he threw down the garden trimmers as he pondered what to do next. “Uuuuh… What now?” Pulling the weeds out of Bowser’s ear, he saw the pipe through it. The king’s skull was empty. “Don’t panic. There’s always a solution. Always a fix.” Rubbing his temples, an epiphany dawned on him. Another wave, another portal. Sighing he assured himself, “If there was a world in a book full of stickers, then surely there was another world out there with tech that could help him.” Returning the parasitic piranha to its pipe, he hefted Bowser over his back. “Unf! Why oh why did I let him eat that extra stake?” Step after painful step, he hauled his massive, still hard boss through the ethereal gateway. [b]CRUNCH. CRUNCH. CRUNCH.[/b] Freshly fallen snow was crushed underfoot as he Kamek dragged his boss. Cold really didn’t agree with reptilians like them, but it was necessary. The heptagonal building in front of them could fix this, hopefully. A comfortable lobby welcomed them in, with (normal) potted plants, plush sofas leading along the walls, three sets of fancy wooden doors in the back, and a front desk with a lone tabby clad in rubber manning a computer. “G-Good day sir! I have a bit of an issue I heard your company could solve!” the exhausted koopa wheezed. The tabby slowly, methodically moved in his chair to face the pair. The blue visor and “01” on his chest were the only identifying details. “An emergency case. Take a seat and you’ll be attended to shortly.” Turning back, he resumed typing on the keyboard. Not even a minute later, two wolves came from the leftmost doors. Kamek hadn’t even been able to sit down. Both were clothed in rubber as well. Both had the same blue visor over their eyes. One of them had “02” one his chest. An older, tall, buff wolf. The other, “06” was a smaller, young, meeker wolf. Uncannily, they walked in sync taking rigid, measured steps. “Salutations” the smaller wolf said. “The urgency of your case has given this priority. We’re here to escort Bowser to the proper room to be healed.” Heaving the large koopa over his shoulder, 02 began walking off, the koopa’s hardon leaking pre on his suit. 06 followed along closely. Leaping from his seat, Kamek pursued them and questioned, “Wait! Where are taking him? What are you going to do?” 06 turned around on dime, arms held behind his back. “Neurological damage has been observed. We have an operation to repair such damage and restore brain function. “Damage!? There’s nothing left!” Exasperated, Kamek was raising his voice. His damp robe left trails of water on the tile floor as he pursued the wolves. “Substantial or complete neurological destruction can be removed with this process. Please wait.” Walking through with 02, 06 then closed the doors, leaving Kamek to his puzzlement. Claws clicked on the hallway tiles, passing by bulletin boards full of diagrams, notices, and posters. Panthers in jumpsuits, pangolins in lab coats, kangaroos in security outfits, and more. All of them kept their distance as the two gracelessly transported their patient to an elevator at the end of the hall. An ivy pattern met them as 06 pressed the button to call the elevator. Aloud, 06 commented, “Master. The king is being transported downstairs now. No brain exists to collect.” Inside 06’s head, a response echoed, [i]“Unfortunate. Either way, deliver him to receive his new one.” [/i] Nodding, 06 and 02 chimed in unison, “Understood.” As the elevator opened for them, the group filed inside. 06 reached for the panel of room selections…and reached past it. On the side, a small, hidden button existed. Pressing it, the elevator doors closed, and they descended. Past B1, and down to B2. Ivory tiles and marble busts met them on the hidden floor. Ornate oak double doors with golden plating and shining, golden doorknobs with ivy patterns extended through the hallway. Claws clicked on tile once more as the duo walked all the way to a pair of double doors at the back. Jet black tiles reflected the pale light from built-in lights in the chilly back room. There were no furnishings, just a gigantic device that resembled an MRI machine. It wasn’t exactly the same, two tubes on the sides connected to jars, one steel cylinder and one glass jar full of aquamarine fluid. 06 walked over to a console on the side while 02 dropped Bowser onto the machine bed. Smooth as clockwork, 06 began typing on the console as 02 exited the room. Sliding into the gaping maw of the machine, Bowser’s empty head lined up with two holes on the sides of the device. If he still had a brain, the feeling of metal pressing in his ears would’ve given him déjà vu. Humming could be heard in the room as the machine started up, getting louder by the second. A minute later, the tube poking in Bowser’s right ear began to bulge. The bulge moved towards Bowser’s head, eventually pushing its contents into the skull. Both metal tubes had retracted from Bowser’s head a minute later. Information whizzed past on the screen as other programs loaded up. Error messages were springing up amidst them too. 06 began speaking to no one in the room, “Replacement brain successfully connected. Drone personality and internet connection established. Memory data from previous brain missing. Blank template constructed. Input whatever mind you desire, Master.” Internally, 06 could hear his master speak, [i]“Good drone. Activate drone 07. Hmm…maybe I’ll just upload a dog brain to him and give 03 a playmate. I’ll decide later.”[/i] Carrying an extremely large, folded rubber suit and a larger visor, 02 returned to the room. Shuddering, 07 awoke. Sliding out of the machine, he mechanically sat up and stepped onto the black tile floor. [i]“Welcome to the family, 07. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Please put on your new casual clothes.”[/i] Saluting, 07 responded, “Yes, Master” as he accepted his new uniform from 02. Covering all but his hands, feet, and head, the suit was snug and flat with the only exception being the impressive bulge on 07’s groin. Matching the other drones, the numbers “07” were on his chest, the only difference was a large, yellow padlock over his crotch. Once he put on the visor, the look was complete. [i]“Good drone. Your next order is to tell your former companion to travel home. Tell him you are required to stay for observation. As of this moment, your brain and body belong to me. You may not even cum unless I say so.”[/i] Robotically trotting forward to the elevator, 07 nodded, “Yes, Master. You own me now.”