Chicken Little’s Wardrobe Malfunction


Chicken little had it pretty rough at school. There was no end to the teasing and the name calling, and someone would always find a way to make fun of him. One day, he was late to the bus stop, and the shuttle took off without him. Many of the kids saw his situation, and started to point at him and laugh. Chicken Little knew that he had to get to school on time if he didn't want to miss the test they were supposed to take that day, so he began to run as fast as he could across town. After running into a few people, he reached a stoplight. When the "walk" sign illuminated, he began running across the street. Halfway across, however, he stepped on gum that wouldn't come off of his foot. He tried his best to escape from the gum's clutches, but he only ended up making things worse as he was pulled into the gum and it was now stuck to his pants. Traffic began to head towards him, so Chicken Little had to think fast. He pulled a lollipop out of his pocket and sucked on it to get it sticky. With that done, he ducked under the car as it drove over him and stuck the lollipop to the bumper, launching him free from the clutches of the gum. Unfortunately, he was also freed from his shorts. When he landed, he struck a victory pose, only to realize moments later that he was standing outside in his undies. He quickly covered his exposed undergarments with his hand as he noticed a dozen or so people across the street beginning to point and laugh at him. He jumped in a nearby bush to recover from the embarrassment and to scope out a way to get to school without being seen. Confident with his route, he jumped out of the bush and was about to make a run for it when...


*RRRRRIIIIPPPP*


"That better not be what I think it was," said the concerned chicken. Reluctantly, Chicken Little looked down to his lower half to see that his tighty-whities had been ripped off by jagged branches in the bush and he was now stark naked, save for his shirt.


"Oh no!" said Chicken Little, "there's gotta be a way I can fix 'em. I can't let the other kids see me like this!" Chicken Little bent over to try to retrieve his undergarments, which were stuck in between thorns and were now impossible to reach. Nevertheless, Chicken Little bent further into the bush to try his best to reach his underwear, but it was to no success. Little did he know, however, that an old cat woman was taking a stroll on the path behind him, and she eventually saw Chicken Little's bare butt and dangling private parts as she was walking past.


"OH MY! COVER UP YOUR SHAME, BOY!" said the old woman. In hearing this behind him, Chicken Little realized that he was exposing his bottom in his bent over position. He immediately turned around and covered his exposed privates with his hands.


"Oh! Sorry about that, heh heh," the embarrassed chicken said as he covered himself, smiling sheepishly. He ran off as fast as he could, so as to avoid further embarrassment yet again. He wasn't sure of where to go next, so he just decided to make his way closer to the school, strategically hiding behind bushes along the way. He eventually got to the back of the school, but the only way in was through a two story window. Looking around him for options, he saw a soda machine about ten feet away from him. He used a quarter that he had in his shirt pocket to quickly get a soda and he tied it to his back with a nearby rope. With the soda bottle pointing downward, he shook his feathery rump and launched into the air, flying directly into the window and sticking his landing in the gymnasium. Unfortunately for him, cheerleading practice was tacking place, and he landed right in front of a pyramid of a dozen or so girls. The girls immediately lost it and began laughing at Chicken Little, pointing at his naked lower half. Embarrassed beyond belief, he pulled his shirt down the best he could to cover his private parts, smiling nervously and edging his way out of the gym and into the hallway. He ran through the halls without being seen by anyone and eventually got to his locker. He used a rope to enter the combination and hopped inside, snapping the rope in the process as he had used it far too many times. To his horror, Chicken Little found that he had been pranked and that all of the contents of his locker were gone! He was planning on using his math homework as pants, but now what was he supposed to do? Upset and desperate for a solution, Chicken Little hopped out of his locker. What he didn't expect to hear was a loud *SHHRRRIIIPPP*. His shirt had ripped off as he was jumping out and was locked in the locker as it closed behind him. He couldn't even open it to retrieve his shirt again, as the rope he uses to open it broke! Now completely buck naked, the embarrassed chicken knew where he could go to find clothes to wear. The theatre! All of the kids in the school play had to wear costumes, so he could just go and take one of those! He rushed past the classrooms and toward the theatre. On his way there he was puzzled by the fact that the classrooms he was walking by were empty.


"Huh, I wonder where everyone is," said Chicken Little.


The butt-naked chicken opened the backstage door at the end of the hallway in order to go searching for a costume. When he entered, the room was pretty dark, and he didn't know where he was going. He reached a point where he was just wandering around aimlessly, hoping to find even some underwear to put on. Eventually, Chicken Little reached a place where he began to hear voices. Concerned, he was about to turn around, when a light suddenly shone into the room. As it turns out, the students of his school were about to receive a speech from their principal and were all seated in the audience of the auditorium. Chicken Little reluctantly turned around to see that he was on the stage in front of the whole school in the nude. The entire school had shocked looks on their faces.


"Could this day get any worse?" the unlucky chicken asked.


Immediately after he said that, the whole audience erupted in laughter. Many of the kids were pointing, and others were whistling at the naked chicken. Chicken Little did his best to cover his private parts, but he could only do so much to conceal them.


"Hey, look, you can still see his giblets," said Foxy Loxy, pointing at Chicken Little.


The poor chicken couldn't take it anymore, and he ran off the stage as fast as he could. He was about to be out of sight, but he tripped on a loose floorboard and landed flat on his face with his naked rear end high in the air. Everyone in the auditorium lost it after that. Chicken Little looked between his legs to see not only the whole school laughing at him, but also a little girl with a camera who worked for the school paper.


"Say cheese!" she said. Chicken Little gave a sheepish smile as the camera went off with a flash. The disoriented chicken fell over on his side, got up, and ran away as fast as he could. He exited the school with the only thing on his mind being making it home. He ran quickly through the streets getting pointed and laughed at ceaselessly. He eventually made it back to his house and locked his door, running up to his room where he cried in embarrassment for the rest of the day.


Chicken Little woke up the next day ready to face whatever kind of humiliation the aftermath of his "wardrobe malfunction" would bring. He walked into the school after enduring a tormenting bus ride to find that the school papers were already printed and were being distributed to the students. Chicken Little ran straight to his friend Abby Mallard at her locker.


"Is it bad?" asked Chicken Little.


"Umm...It's pretty bad. You can see everything, heh heh," she said nervously.


She showed him her copy and, lo and behold, it was the picture that little girl took of him. The cover story was "Chicken Little Ruffles His Feathers For All". The picture displayed the embarrassed chicken with his head on the ground and his naked hind end in the air, his most intimate parts dangling below for all to see.


"Well, at least it can't get any worse," said Chicken Little.