Howdy and Dexter Dexter was feeling quite good about himself today as he strolled through the tunnels to the Ham Ham Clubhouse. His fur was freshly cleaned, and he was wearing his nicest bowtie. He wasn’t one to brag of course, though. He strolled quite casually into the clubhouse, his nose turned up and his eyes closed. “Good morning, Ham Hams,” Unfortunately, the only ham who seemed to notice was, naturally, the last one he’d wanted to. “Hey there, Dexter, lookin’ sharp as a pencil today, as usual.” With a slap to the back and a joke that both left Dexter reeling, Howdy’s irritating laugh rang in Dexter’s ears. Frustrated, he stood up tall and glared at his fellow ham, about to reprimand him for interrupting his stride with such a nasty turn-of-phrase. Before he could though, Howdy went and made things all the worse. “Don’t you try writin’ any checks with that smile, though, or I’m sure you’ll end up looking mighty dull.” That one was bad enough to leave Dexter, and the rest of the clubhouse for that matter, effectively frozen. Just long enough for Howdy to make his escape too. By the time Dexter had thawed, his obnoxious rival had laughed his way right out the clubhouse door. That didn’t stop Dexter from yelling after him though. “Where do you think you’re going? You can’t just make a joke that awful and walk off!” Sadly, there was no answer except for the echoes of Howdy’s infuriating laughter coming down the tunnel. In frustration, Dexter slammed the clubhouse door to cut the noise off. “Oh! You didn’t hear about Howdy’s new job, Dexter?” Hamtaro, unfazed by the slamming door, perked right up from his seat at the clubhouse’s center table. Dexter joined him at the table, and Hamtaro responded to his curiously raised eyebrow with a pamphlet. Dexter eyed Hamtaro for a second, then casually snatched the pamphlet away. He glanced at it for only a moment before setting it back on the table, dismissively. “Soapland, huh? He’s working at a new cleaning service?” “I don’t think so. He invited us to come visit!” Hamtaro picked up the pamphlet and waved it in front of Dexter. “Look, it even came with a coupon!” While Dexter tried to ignore the coupon, complete with a caricature of his grinning rival, being waved in his face, someone from the other side of the table piped in. “I think that invitation was just for Pashmina actually, Hamtaro.” Dexter’s eyes narrowed just in time for Hamtaro to stop obscuring him with the offensive pamphlet. Directly across from him Pashmina was sitting next to Bijou, and she was blushing. “Well, yeah, but I don’t know if I want to go by myself.” “Of course not!” Dexter shouted and snatched the pamphlet right out of Hamtaro’s paw. “I’m sure it’s a seedy place. Certainly, no place for my lovely, Pashmina.” Without waiting for a response, he leapt from his chair and walked furiously to the door, throwing it open and strutting right out. “I’ll show him,” he mumbled on his way, “Thinks he’s so sneaky…” “Huh… wonder who tied his tie so tight this morning.” *** Dexter arrived at “Soapland” within just a few minutes of walking. It wasn’t much to look at. Just a fancy bit of scribbling over a hole in the wall of a laundromat. Very fancy, admittedly; cursive with little bubbles floating around the letters. Still, hardly enough to be impressive. It was just a laundromat after all. “So, he thinks he can impress her with a well laundered scarf, eh?” Dexter tapped his foot and crumpled the pamphlet in his hand. By this point in the walk the thing had become long since illegible, but Howdy’s grinning mug was still frustratingly clear as day. “Well, we’ll just see what he thinks when I blow his little operation!” The door to Soapland crashed open a moment later and Dexter stormed in like a ham possessed. The only thing he saw was a small tan desk, with an older looking ham lady behind it. He marched right up to her and slammed the pamphlet on her counter. She didn’t react with anything but a knowing smile. “Hello, dear.” “I’m here to see Howdy!” Dexter shouted, not even acknowledging the greeting. Still unfazed, the old lady slowly looked down at the pamphlet, then back to Dexter. Something about her grin changed, growing wider. Dexter didn’t notice her blushing, though. “Maido, hun, there’s someone here for you.” The way she shouted into the back room was almost a coo. “You called, Miss-“ Sure enough, Howdy came out a moment later, and the moment he saw Dexter, he froze. Not for long enough, however. Just as Dexter was about to give him a piece of his mind, Howdy grabbed him by the paw and dragged him back through the door. “You have a nice time, Fellas.” Dexter managed to break free of his rival’s grip just as he’d been pulled through another doorway. He wasn’t fast enough to stop the door from being closed. “Just what do you think you’re doing, Howdy?!” “Hey now, I think that’s my question to ask!” Howdy stomped a foot. Dexter couldn’t help but notice he was sweating buckets. He didn’t even try to hide his smile when he saw how nervous Howdy was. “What in the name of hayseed are you doin’ here lookin’ for me?” It took him just a moment to decide, but after looking his rival over Dexter came to a decision. Howdy wasn’t looking mad, he was humiliated. Why not take a chance to rub it in a little more? “Well, since you were so rude as to drag me back here anyway,” he lifted his nose with a wink and dramatically pulled off his bowtie, now wrinkled from being dragged around, “I’d like to employ your services, Maido.” There was a nice long silence as Dexter soaked in the insult. Howdy just sat and stared during the pause, turning redder with each passing second. “Fine!” He finally broke the silence and snapped the tie out of Dexter’s paw. Then, to Dexter’s surprise, Howdy grabbed him again by the paw and pulled him deeper into the room. It was then that Dexter opened his eyes enough to get a look at the room. It was nothing fancy of course; some dirty stone walls on a tile floor. In the middle of the room was an overturned, wooden tub, and on the wall was a small hose and a shelf with a collection of soapy powder. Something about the tub struck him as odd though, especially when Howdy led him to it. “Sit there,” he said, letting go of Dexter’s paw. Confused, Dexter obeyed. He watched as Howdy gingerly tossed his bowtie aside and reached for the soap and hose. It rather quickly dawned on him just what was about to happen. “Y-you weren’t thinking of bathing Pa-“ He was interrupted by a splash of water to the face when Howdy turned the hose on . “Jus’ be quiet. It’ll make this less awkward!” Howdy mumbled as he approached with soap in paw. Dexter moved to stop him but froze when the paw landed on his chest. A moment later it was too late. Howdy was too close to push away. “Just relax… sir…” All thoughts of protest faded remarkably quickly. Between the warm water soaking into his fur and Howdy rubbing the soap into his chest, Dexter found himself, strangely, quite content. He was genuinely impressed by how skilled Howdy was with his paws. The soaped soaked in gently, without any harsh pressure against Dexter’s fur. Howdy knew what he was doing. Dexter sighed and closed his eyes as Howdy continued his work. “Well, at least you’re good for something.” He chuckled, unable to hold back the dig at his rival. Howdy responded with a bit more pressure, but not enough to hurt. It just showed a bit of fight in him; something Dexter had to admit was admirable given Howdy’s position now. Finished with the chest, Howdy moved down to Dexter’s hips. There was a kick, but no protest. Dexter just opened his eyes in a bit of surprise at the suddenness of the movement. When he did though, he saw something that did nearly shock him into protest. Howdy was on his knees now, right in front of the tub and with his face inches from Dexter’s crotch. Before Dexter could protest though, he felt Howdy’s breath on his balls. Howdy dropped the hose and grabbed Dexter’s other hip. In a second both paws were rubbing in rhythm. Howdy’s breath seemingly got warmer as the rest of Dexter’s body began to cool down. Shakily, Dexter reached out to put a paw on top of Howdy’s head. It was supposed to be a signal to stop, but the pink shaft slowly rising between Dexter’s legs gave off a very different impression. Howdy managed to pick up both impressions and glanced up at Dexter from his own place between those legs. “You okay there, partner?” Dexter grimaced. He couldn’t think straight when he saw Howdy’s infuriating grin. His face went red again, and without thinking his hand suddenly pressing more firmly down on Howdy’s head. Howdy didn’t resist, and in a moment his face was pressed right into Dexter’s crotch. It got rid of the humiliating smile, but in the end, it just left Dexter with another problem. Howdy’s fur was warm and wet too. Rubbing it up against him rapidly brought the gray-furred ham from semi-hard to fully erect. “H-Howdy-“ He thought really seriously about telling the other ham to stop, but a moan kept him from doing so. Howdy moved his paws soapily down to Dexter’s groin, and with the pressure moved to the inside of his hips Dexter reflexively lifted his legs. To his embarrassment though, wrapping them around Howdy was very much deliberate. With the position established, Howdy moved to hold it. His paws moved under Dexter’s legs, one groping a cheek of his rear and the other lifting right under his hip. Then, Howdy at last opened wide and gave his rival’s cock a long, tender lick. A shrill, girlish squeak echoed off the cold stone walls loudly enough to overpower the sound of the still spraying hose beneath the duo. Dexter couldn’t contain himself. Another paw reached out and landed firmly on Howdy’s head. Howdy didn’t flinch. With every lick there was another squeeze or rub along Dexter’s legs. Without a rinse soap was building up all over, and the bubbles were almost as wonderful as the pressure rapidly building within his balls. Eventually though, that pressure began to overwhelm all other senses. “D-Don’t stop, Howdy.” Dexter’s head fell back against the wall behind him. “I’m almost there!” Close was as far as he would be allowed to get for the moment though. As another squeak broke away from him, Dexter’s grip on Howdy quivered. Howdy took that chance to pull away with a jerk that would have sent Dexter tumbling had he not already been pressing against the wall. The pressure in Dexter’s balls almost instantly became painful as his orgasm was denied. He gasped and shivered as a splash of pre burst out of his tip, landing softly in the puddle around the drain beneath him. He hadn’t even realized he’s closed his eyes, but now he was forced to nervously open them. “Wh-what kind of cruel joke was that, you… you…” Howdy was sopping in front of him. And from his position and the soaking wet apron clinging to his hips, it was obvious enough he was every bit as hard as Dexter himself. For just a moment Dexter was too distracted by the view of his rival, prone and aroused before him, to continue being angry. Then Howdy got up, turned around, and placed his hands on the door at the other end of the room. After that, Dexter forgot he’d ever been mad. “Ya’ll did sign up for the full service, right?” Howdy lifted his tail and spread his legs. “Wouldn’t want to go gettin’ a name as a cheapskate now.” Dexter got to his feet without hesitation. He almost slipped on the tile as he made his way to the other end of the room, his eyes jumping rapidly from Howdy’s dripping tail, to his sodden cheeks, and his inviting asshole. He paused just as he reached it, planting a paw to spread the cheeks further. It was sudden, but it dawned on him who it belonged to. Biting his lip, he looked up to see Howdy looking back at him. There was a huge smile on his face and his squinted eyes were fluttering. Dexter went beet red as the intoxicating effect of that look hit him. “Don’t bother inspectin’ the goods. I can promise they’re quality.” Howdy let out a laugh at his comment, and Dexter’s intoxication faded immediately. He gave the cheek in his paw a pinch, and that laugh faded into a sigh as Howdy pressed his face against the door. Suddenly feeling dominant, Dexter slammed his other paw against the door and leaned in close. “None of those jokes. It just makes this more awkward,” he said, blushing. Howdy let out another chuckle, this one clearly nervous as Dexter leaned in. That chuckle quickly became a gasp as Dexter’s cock filled him. Soon, Howdy’s gasps and Dexter’s moans became indistinguishable. There was no wasted time as Dexter quickly entered his rival without concern for comfort, the only sign that he even cared about Howdy at all being the hand that wrapped around him and pressed against the wet apron. Howdy responded positively though, pushing back with every thrust. In no time he was shouting Dexter’s name. Were he paying it any mind at all, Dexter would have noticed the Apron become briefly warmer. At the time though, he was far to distracted by his own pleasure. “H-H-Hooowddyy!” He screamed as he let loose in the other ham. It was reflex that made him pull Howdy as close as possible, wrapping his cock and the rest of his body in as much warmth as possible. What happened after was a bit beyond instinct though. As the high of orgasm faded and he caught his breath, he kept hugging, and until every single drop of cum was out, and for a little bit after, he didn’t let go. *** A few minutes after they had finished, Howdy and Dexter were sat together in the wooden tub. Dexter had only let go of his rival briefly, and now he was hugging him from behind again as they soaked. Howdy was content to relax from his place on Dexter’s lap. “I can’t believe I’ve never done this before,” Dexter said, “I mean academically I’d considered the idea of course, but with a sworn enemy, I’d never-“ “Yeah, sure, whatever keeps you feeling Greek, Dexter.” Howdy laughed as he snuggled into his customer. “Easiest 50 seeds I’ve ever made in any case. You made for a good first customer.” Dexter joined in with a nervous chuckle of his own as his eyes darted aside. “Y-yeah. About that…” He paused and held Howdy a little tighter. “Settle for a smile?” “Hee hee, I’d hoped you’d say that.” Howdy casually pulled his way out of the snuggle and got to his feet. Dexter watched every moment of the water sloshing off his tail. Then, when Howdy turned around, his eyes trailed upward to the sickening grin on the ham’s face. “Ya’ll didn’t think I’d give up tail for nothin’ did you?” As Howdy, leaned in Dexter began to redden. He could quite process why though. He was sinking into the bath, so he blamed it on the heat. “I-I can pay you back later…” “I’d prefer to settle the books now.” Howdy fell back into the bath with a big splash, landing right atop the other ham. This time though, with Dexter’s legs right above his hips. “Either that, or you can help me make up my commission.” *** “Remind me why we didn’t try the laundromat first?” Stan complained as he and Hamtaro opened the door to Soapland. Hamtaro either didn’t notice or just didn’t care to acknowledge the complaint. Instead, he went right for the front desk. “Hey, miss, we’re looking for a friend of ours named Howdy. Does he work here?” The ham at the other end of the counter smiled ear to ear. “Really, both of you?” Hamtaro nodded. “Well I’m afraid he’s busy with someone else at the moment, but if you wait-“ “Dexter, right?” Stan sidled up smoothly behind Hamtaro. “He’s a friend too, I’m sure he won’t mind if we say hi real quick.” He sent the older woman a wink. “In and out in 2 minutes. Promise.” Hamtaro nodded right along with him. The matron paused for just a moment to consider, then her face was betrayed by a luminescent blush. “I’ll see if they can have you.” She nodded politely and stepped aside before beckoning the boys to follow her to the backrooms.