Felix and Reuben
       
       “Let’s see here…” Reuben tapped his chin gingerly as he pondered his latest masterpiece. He’d woken up hungry today, as usual, and, struck as he was by that inspiration, he’d gotten straight to work on it. It had been most of the morning, something like an hour or so now, and it was nearly finished. “Just one last touch. Yeah, a dab of mustard.” With a nice flourish he grabbed a nearby spoon and jar. Then, he splashed the condiment liberally right on top of the topping bread slice. 
       
       After that, all that was left was to slam the slice on top of his masterpiece, which he did with just as much of a flourish. Then, there it was, a perfect breakfast hoagie: half-a-dozen delicious fried eggs, oodles of sliced ham, a whole-dozen strips of bacon, 4 nice big hash brown patties, and all of it slathered with the perfect condiments, classic mayo, ketchup, and mustard. It was genuinely some of the best work he’d put together in ages, a perfect mix of salty and savory to start off the morning.
       
       “Hoo yeah, you’re gonna love this one, big guy.” He was talking to himself, mostly, but the door to Gantu’s bedroom opened just about right on cue. Once it did, he turned to smile nice and wide at the big oaf of a whale he shared the ship with. Truth be told, Reuben enjoyed tormenting the doofus as much as anything, but right now, with the mood he was in, there was nothing more he wanted to do than share his success. “Speak of the blubber butt. Good morning, sunshine!” He smirked as confidently as he could and patted his masterpiece on the bun. “Boy have I got a surprise for you!”
       
       “Ugh… no kidding…” Gantu groaned. His eyes went everywhere but the sandwich. “What the blitznack did you do, you ridiculous trog?” Surrounding Reuben’s masterpiece were the side-effects of such long and tender labor. A few burned eggs casually tossed aside, pots full of grease spilling over, and probably a jar or two of condiments that hadn’t quite made it onto the bread splashed around the walls. That wasn’t even accounting for the failed attempts at perfection, a half finished sandwich with a bite out of it and one that had already fallen apart on the floor after being discarded. “This place is a nightmare!”
       
       Reuben pouted up at the big guy. Then, he looked around. “Okay, so maybe I got a little carried away, but hey, it was worth it!” He shook the smirk back onto his face and patted his hoagie confidently again. “Trust me, bud, when you have a taste of this you’ll-”
       
       “I don’t have time for this!” Gantu stomped, shaking his head and storming off without even getting a look at Reuben’s work. “Clean this place up! I’m on a deadline today!” He waved his massive hand dismissively and stomped out of the ship with barely even so much as a goodbye. 
       
       It nearly left Reuben speechless, though, not for very long. “Well! You’ll be right back when you’re hungry won’t ya’? Of course, by then it’ll be cold!” He stomped right back at the big jerk, splashing the contents of the half-finished sandwich all over the floor in defiance. Then he crossed his arms and leaned back gingerly on his masterpiece with a huff. “What a grump. Who cares about a little mess anyhow?” He groaned and shook his head. “I mean, can’t make a sandwich without breaking a few eggs, right?”
       
       He tapped his foot angrily thinking about what to do now that his morning had been so rudely ruined. The only thing he knew for sure was that he definitely wasn’t going to clean up this mess after being told to. Most likely, he’d just have to sit and enjoy this perfect hoagie by himself. 
       
       That was what he resolved to do at first. But then, it turned out the universe had some company in store for him after all. “Dirty!” One of Reuben’s eyes lazily opened when he heard the voice of one of his cousins shouting. It was a familiar one too. He glanced up to see the little green anteater like-creature smiling down at him from one of the ship’s vents.  
       
       He scowled at the company. “Oh boy, just the guy I wanted to see. Felix, right?” He smirked up at the little neat freak. It had been a long while since he had to deal with him, but he knew what was coming from the little experience he had. “Come to lay it on a little thicker, huh? Dirty, dirty and all that. I get it.” 
       
       Felix nodded back to him and clapped. “Dirty! Dirty!” He laughed eagerly, and his eyes shined a bit. Reuben waved the other experiment off dismissively and turned back to his sandwich, hoping to salvage it before Felix could destroy it. Hopefully the rest of the mess would keep him busy. 
       
       He was sort of fortunate enough to be right. Felix leapt from the vent the moment he turned his back, landing right on the remnants of the toppled sandwich when he did and sending several slices of ham Reuben’s way. “Hey, cool your heels, crazy! At least give me half-a-second to get this out of the splash zone!” He dusted a stray slice of extra ham off of his perfect sandwich, as well as himself. Then he picked up the hoagie so he could storm off with it properly. He stopped to shoot another glare at the neat freak before leaving, but then he stopped for a bit longer. “Huh, what are you doing now, weirdo?”
       
       Felix had surprised him. Instead of jumping right to cleaning up the ship like his usual crazy routine, the weird little anteater was just rolling in the discarded sandwich and laughing. “Haha! Dirty! Dirty!” His had grabbed his feet and balled himself up for maximum rolling potential, laughing like a little kid while he rubbed grease and mayonnaise all over his back. His little broom-like tail was wagging wildly too knocking bacon and eggshells all over the place. The whole time he bore the giddiest smile. Eventually he was making snow angels in the mess. 
       
       “Well that’s somethin’ you don’t see every day.” Reuben scratched his head. He was smiling a bit himself now, mostly out of surprise. “Hey, ain’t you supposed to be all about cleanin’ up messes?”
       
       “Mmn mmn” Felix shook his head and smiled back at Reuben. The shine in his eye struck the other experiment oddly. “Dirty!” He clapped again. Then, he licked his lips. Something about that made Reuben just a bit nervous, enough to sneak his sandwich behind his back just an inch. 
       
       “Heh, well, pal, it’s a good new look.” Reuben nodded confidently. Then he took a step back. Felix rolled onto his side, and his eyes shined again. It was a look that Reuben remembered from before, right before the lasers started flying at Gantu. He wasn’t really sure what to make of that look now though. So, he did what he did then, and laughed it off. “Ha! What’re you thinkin’ now, pal? Not upset I’m not dirty enough now, are ya’?”
       
       He got his answer right away. With that big sinister smile on his face, Felix casually kicked another slice of ham right at Reuben’s stomach, and at the same time he made a more precise throw with splash of ketchup and mustard that splashed right in Reuben’s face. It wasn’t a hard hit by any means, but it was enough to send Reuben reeling back. Suddenly he was struggling to keep his perfect work from smashing onto the floor.
       
       That made him totally vulnerable when Felix tackled him. Thankfully, he saved the sandwich. Less luckily though, he had less than no idea what was happening besides that and fell right onto his back with Felix’s weight hitting him like a truck. Even when he managed to finally wipe the ketchup from his eyes, it didn’t even help. He could see Felix smiling on top of him for all of a second, but then the scoundrel just laughed and pressed his face against his fur. “Hahaha! Dirty, dirty, dirty!” He practically sang it this time. 
       
       Being pelted with food wasn’t the confusing part of the experience, really. Reuben had pieced the neat-freak’s change of heart together already after all. The really confusing bit was just how much Felix was reveling in Reuben’s fur. His long nose wandered all over, first tickling Reuben’s neck, then wandering around his chest and armpits. The whole time he was cheerfully humming and singing his favorite word. At least, he was right up until he stared running his tongue over Reuben’s belly. 
       
       “H-hey!” Reuben grabbed the scoundrel’s head and pulled him off. It got Felix’s tongue off of him, but the wandering nose kept tickling at his neck while Felix smiled and laughed. Reuben glared at him for a second, but then he just raised an eyebrow. “Uh, should I be insulted? I’m kinda getting mixed signals here.” 
       
       Felix laughed again and rolled his eyes. Then, with another cheerful, sing-song, “Dirty! Dirty!” he slid up Reuben’s body, and the messages he was sending became much less mixed. 
       
       “Oh! H-hey!” Reuben felt something stiff slide against his leg, then his belly. Felix ran his paws up the other experiment’s chest and onto his shoulder, pressing a mess of condiments into Reuben’s fur while he did, and once his paw was steady on Reuben’s shoulder he sat himself up confidently, revealing what he was after with his dick pressed hard against the other experiment’s groin. “Okay, so I should be flattered, I get ya.” He smiled up at the messy experiment above him for a second. Then his eyes wandered. 
       
       His sandwich was still waiting. It was a bit bent out of shape from the fall, but no less perfect in its makeup. He gripped it tightly, suddenly flustered with his mind jumping between hungry and horny of all things. Before he could even try to piece together what to feel though, Felix added in a dose of shock. The green experiment set his paw down on the sandwich right next to Reuben’s, following his eyes. Unlike Reuben though, he wasn’t gentle with the hoagie. Once he had his claws around it, Felix crushed it mercilessly. 
       
       For a second, Reuben was horrified. His soft smile went straight back to a glare when he turned back to the experiment on top of him and he even sat up to escape the pin. However, that didn’t last very long. “Hey, bozo-” was all he managed to get out to scold Felix before he suddenly froze. Felix didn’t stop at crushing his hard work. He also brought the remnants of the sandwich to his mouth and lazily licked them off before wiping his paw on his chest. Reuben watched stunned as the weirdo’s eyes rolled back in his head and he shivered, crumbs and bits of meat rolling down his body while condiments and egg yolk soaked into his fur. Reuben felt his will crumble at the sight as he laid back down. “Okay, wow. There is no way that should be hot...”
       
       Felix shut his eyes and laughed. Reuben felt him more intensely against his groin now. He was wiggling even more giddily as his fellow experiment hardened up underneath him. And now that he knew what could get him going, he was going to take advantage. His threatening eye-shine was back when he opened his eyes again and reached for a second handful of the now ruined hoagie. 
       
       This time it didn’t go straight to his mouth though. Felix instead started tossing it around, making as much of a mess as he had previously, but now, focused as he was on Reuben, most of the mess landed on him. Surprisingly, Reuben let it happen too. With Felix constantly rubbing up against him and occasionally licking his lips, he wasn’t even bothered. At this point, he’d pretty thoroughly moved from hungry to horny. 
       
       So, by the time the hoagie was completely disassembled and Felix was rubbing it into both of their fur with some aggressive cuddling, Reuben was absolutely into it, even when Felix just rolled them around in the mess. Though, was admittedly more into it when the other experiment stared his chipper licking again. “Hah! Good to see someone appreciated my work!” He grabbed Felix tight again and closed his eyes. The freak was vibrating with pleasure while his licked and snorted at the deconstructed breakfast. Sure, it was probably the mess that was getting him going, but Reuben was happy it was a good tasting mess at least. 
       
       “Mmm…” Felix hummed to confirm exactly how much he was enjoying the mess too. His dick pulsed hard against Reuben’s making it even clearer. “Dirty?’ This time it was a question, strangely. His paw wandered downward to make it clear what he was asking. He squeezed Reuben’s dick tightly, squishing it between his condiment covered fingers. 
       
       Reuben groaned, almost immediately overwhelmed. “Ugh! C’mon, you really want more?” He shook grabbing tight to Felix’s back. The other experiment nodded against him rubbing more crumbs into his check and squeezing his dick again. “H-hah! Y-you know, I’ve still got some mayo around somewhere.”
       
       “Mmnmmn.” Felix shook his head and started rubbing up and down on Reuben’s dick. It was sticky and slimy, and way, way more pleasant than Reuben would have expected. “Dirty… dirty….” Felix was squirming now, practically rolling around on top of Reuben while squeezed. He knew what he was after and he was eager to get more mess. 
       
       And Reuben was in no position to deny him. “C-crud…. F-fine, then buddy… n-no promises about the taste though, okay?!” He started to pant. Felix started jerking him more vigorously, and he started licking and suckling on his chest and shoulder again as if to say he wanted the taste of it. So, Reuben gave in without question laying back entirely and letting it happen. All he did was sigh lazily once the feeling finally overcame him. “Ah yeah, there’s that special sauce.”
       
       His grip loosened from a tight hug to a loose sort of petting when he came. A wave of relaxation left his body limp as his dick pulsed. He barely noticed the increased sliminess of it between the muck of condiments already coating his groin, but just by the pulsing he could tell it was a big one. And he rode that wave in total relaxation a Felix pumped him of every drop. 
       
       He probably wouldn’t have even opened his eyes after that if Felix hadn’t surprisingly moved away after that. His tongue dragged off of Reuben’s chest shakily as he sat up, humming his favorite word. “Dirty…. D-dirty…” Reuben looked up at him, surprised to finally see his smile had shaken off, though the shine in his eyes was as prominent as ever when he lifted his now completely soaked paw to his face. 
       
       Then, with his other paw firmly on his dick, Felix smashed his face and tongue into the mess of cum and condiments. He didn’t even lick it so much as press it against his tongue, neck, and nose. And based on the way his hips gyrated and how rapidly he was jerking, he was absolutely savoring the tastes and the slime. Reuben felt another satisfying wave wash over him as he watched, and he laughed a bit at the sight of someone enjoying their meal so much. 
       
       Soon, he was struck by another wave though. Felix stopped shaking for just a moment, squeezing his dick tightly and biting on a cum coated claw. Then he shivered and quaked and finally came. With a long groaning almost howl, he tossed his head back and went right back to stroking his dick just as rapidly, and when he did an absolute torrent burst out from it. Reuben gasped at the suddenness, and for his reward he got a nice clean mouthful of Felix’s sauce before he could shut his eyes and brace for impact. 
       
       He might have complained if it hadn’t tasted surprisingly good. Instead, he would have to complain about the way it ruined his chill because of the sheer force it struck him with. In a matter of seconds he was coated in the stuff, each spurt of cum blasting his face with more force than the last.  To make things worse, that wasn’t even the whole of it. Felix’s nose shot up when he reared back, and with just as much force as he came, be blasted what he’d sucked up right back out, slathering the pair in a rain of sauces and sandwich. 
       
       By the time it was over, Reuben was in shock, stiff and disgusted. Then he opened his eyes and gasped, his hands outspread and his face covered in a mixed of slime. Again though, annoying as the feeling was, he couldn’t complain about the taste. Oddly, mixed and deconstructed as it was, it tasted almost perfect, the best mix of salty, and savory he could imagine. He licked his lips and allowed the relaxing wave to wash over him again. “Heh, tastes almost as good as a sandwich. Could use more chew to it though.” 
       
       He laughed, but only for a second. The breath was knocked out of him before he could get more than that. Felix totally collapsed on top of him, very deliberately too. The moment he was laying back on Reuben he started mashing his face right back into the other experiment’s fur again. Even somewhat worn out, he still hoped to make more of the mess. “Hehehe…. Dirty, dirty….” 
       
       Reuben just let him too. No point in fighting anything at this point after all, right? He managed to laugh again right before he closed his eyes and let the little freak have his way with his cuddling. And he kept them closed when he heard the door opening too. He wasn’t about to bother dealing with the inevitable temper tantrum after all. 
       
       When he heard Gantu’s scream all he did was laugh again, and maybe smack talk him a little. “Hey there, blubber butt. Guess what, found a friend that enjoys my cooking.”