Raph had his dark side. Everyone does, of course, no matter what they tell themselves or those around them. Raph's darkness was been a little more...prominent, sometimes.
Sometimes he let his anger get away from him, and didn't really feel sorry afterwards. Sometimes he had bad thoughts, ugly thoughts, that came back whenever he tries to push them away. Sometimes, he couldn't control himself and wasn't sure if he wanted to.
That's what Leo was for, he thought. Leo was the leader even before Splinter announced it, the one unofficially charged with bringing Raph to heel. Raph listened to Splinter's barked orders, sure, but it was Leo who spent hours wearing him into compliance with seemingly meaningless fights. He pushed and pushed, and Leo pushed back.
Raph helped keep Leo's dark side in control, too. He stopped the fact that Leo was quietly Daddy's favorite from going to his head, injecting just enough self-doubt into his natural arrogance to make his big brother tolerable to be around. Raph kept him off-balance, just a little, enough so he wouldn't push himself and his brothers too hard in his determination to please Splinter.
They were yin and yang, keeping each other in balance, although who was yin and who was yang was constantly in flux. Raph thinks that Splinter understands this dynamic in some way, which is why he never really seemed bothered by how much time they spent fighting as children.
It wasn't a perfect system; far from it. Donnie and Mikey were probably fucking traumatized from all the nonstop battles they'd had to sit through, not to mention that being in constant war with someone you live with takes a toll on the nerves. Leo had grown up into a semi-neurotic control freak and Raph was...well, Raph.
But still, they'd had kept each under control, and had kept doing so after heading topside. Leo had kept Raph on just a tight enough leash that he was safe for human interaction, to the point that he'd been able to strike up a sort-of friendship with Casey Jones.
Whenever Raph went too far, Leo could bring him back into line.
So it was a very strange situation that Raph found himself in as he looked at Leo in the tub, dead to the world and in no condition to bring anybody back into anything.
They'd been up there for almost a month now, Leo in the tub and Raph constantly by his side. He fed Leo with the tubes Donnie had made, cleaned him with gritted teeth. And then he just...waited, only coming down for the few meals that someone had forgotten to bring up, or the occasional training session.
Sitting here had given him a lot of time to think, and it had dawned on him that there were three reasons he was sitting up here.
One: He loved his brother, maybe more than he loved the rest of his family, and he loved them all very much.
Seeing Leo thrown through that window had been a shock he could never completely recover from, a permanent shifting of the world. Raph would twiddle his sais as he sat in the bathroom and imagine all the creative things he would do to Shredhead when he got his hands on him.
Leo was his family, his counterpart, his best friend, his hero. When (not if, when) he woke up he would need to see the face of someone he loved, who loved him in return. Raph was determined to be that face.
April and Casey thought that was the only reason he was up here. Mikey and Donnie might have thought so, too, although you could never tell with them.
It was not the only reason.
Two: If he went downstairs, without Leo to watch over him, he would be tempted to hurt them. Raph knew this in his bones.
He would slap Mikey around worse than ever, harangue Donnie to the point of cruelty for his inability to fix Leo, leer at April even though he didn't find her particularly attractive. He would pick fights with Casey that would end with broken bones, internal bleeding, things that they wouldn't be able to fix without crippling hospital bills and too many questions.
It was a strange place he was in, where he didn't really want to do those things, but knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself if given the opportunity.
So he thought it was best to stay in the bathroom.
Three: There was something deeply, breathtakingly intoxicating about seeing his brother laid out like this.
It took ages to admit it himself, but it was true. No more endless yammering from Fearless Leader, no more watching Leo master katas first (only because he had fucking OCD about practice and everyone knew it). No more swift blows that always felt so much more elegant and precise than Raph's, no more worrying about falling or looking stupid while Leo skipped across the New York skyline like a faggy little butterfly.
He was devoid of judgement. Uncomplaining. Helpless.
Beautiful.
Why did I think that? Raph asked himself. Leo wasn't beautiful, he was ugly. He had a stupid, hideous face that only looked good when Raph had just punched it.
But the thought didn't go away. And neither did the compulsion, growing each day, to touch. To see what it was like to hold Leo without worrying about it escalating into a fight.
So he did just that, because there was no one there to stop him.
He began at Leo's shoulders, prodding and poking at the muscles. He let his hands linger in a way that never would have been allowed if Leo was conscious, just feeling, connecting.
Bonding, even.
There were no consequences for touching the arms, so after a little while he decided to move to the torso. He gingerly stroked his brother's carapace and plastron, fascinated by how similar they were from his own--and how different.
Raph touched the crack in his own plastron, the one Splinter said he had gotten while they were running from evil robots. But sometimes Raph wondered...Leo was Splinter's favorite, after all, and it would be just like the rat to cover for him.
Maybe Leo had decided to do something when they were younger, to establish dominance. Maybe Raph could take that dominance back now.
He ran his hands over Leo's scalp, across his cheekbones, pausing to caress his jaw before descending to his throat. He could feel his big brother's pulse under his thumb, slow and steady. He squeezed, ever so slightly, and was a little disappointed when it didn't jump as a result.
"You like that, Fearless?" Raph asked, keeping his voice low. It was night, but he still couldn't risk anyone hearing. "Like having your dumbass little brother in charge for once?" He moved Leo's head a little, making him nod.
A sudden impulse struck him and he leaned forward, pressing his lips to his brother's. Out of curiosity, really, just to see what it tasted like. It tasted...different. Nice, almost.
"You like that?" Raph whispered, his voice a breath in his brother's ear. "You want me to do it again? Of course you do, Leo. That's what you are, isn't it? Tell me what you are."
He cleared his throat and tried out his best Leo impression. "I'm a sissy little fag, Raphie, and all I want is to be some big tough manly man's little bitch. That's why I'm so fucking obsessed with Space Heroes, 'cause I jack off to Captain Ryan, I want his big human cock in my--"
Stop.
Maybe it was the Leo impression that summoned it, but the impulse caused his fingers to spring open. How hard had he been holding on to Leo's throat? He couldn't remember.
Raph leaned forward, carefully examining Leo for bruises, and breathed a sigh of relief when he found one. He didn't want to get in trouble when Donnie gave Leo his next checkup and, more importantly, he didn't want to hurt his brother. He loved Leo, even if they had their differences.
He wouldn't touch Leo's throat, wouldn't risk hurting his brother again. He avoided touching his brother at all for over a week.
When the temptation finally became too strong to resist again, he didn't even look at the neck.
Instead, he focused on Leo's legs.
They were longer and more slender than Raph's legs, even if they were also covered in taut muscle. Now that Raph could get a better look at them, he thought they were kind of girlish. Which made sense, for a bitch as prissy as his brother.
He briefly considered making Leo do a high kick like a Rockette, but decided against it, worried about the splashing it would cause. Still, he found himself ruminating on the idea of having Leo dance for him on those beautiful long legs.
There was that word again. Beautiful. Raph growled and pushed it away.
For a while he was content with simply groping and rubbing his brother's limbs and torso, occasionally sticking his tongue down Leo's throat. He was careful to keep away from Leo's damaged knee, but the rest of him was fair game.
When the desire to reach between Leo's legs appeared, as it inevitably would, he obeyed it on instinct.
He dug a quivering finger into Leo's slit, veins buzzing from the rush of breaking taboo. His own cock twitched at the contact and Raph placed a hand on his crotch, caressing it gently.
Curious, he slid his finger rather down and was met with an interesting surprise: Leo's tail, which was usually clenched up nice and tight against his body, had relaxed from the months underwater.
So when Raph reached where it was supposed to be, his finger slid neatly into his brother's asshole instead.
He froze, breath catching. He'd touched his brother's intimate parts while cleaning him, of course (a memory that still made him sneer). But the idea of being so far inside Leo was insane to the point of terrifying. And Raph hated acknowledging his fear, so he gritted his teeth and drove his finger in deeper. He pushed his thumb into Leo's slit, running it up Leo's curled-up cock.
His brother's face remained completely slack, and Raph knew he should be relieved. He was, of course, but he was also almost...disappointed.
So he closed his eyes and pretended that Leo was awake, his arms and legs firmly lashed to the frame of Raph's bed. Bruised, bleeding, blushing, his face turned up in an expression of worshipful obedience. Broken.
Leo was just the kind of person who looked breakable, Raph decided. His big blue eyes, his dorky smile, the way he twirled through fights like a goddamn performer...
It wasn't like Raph was the only one who had noticed it, either. Shredder had decided to break Leo, in his own way. Raph growled at the thought.
Karai, too...Raph had hated her from the start, not just from how Leo looked at her, but from how she looked at Leo when his back was turned. Like she not only wanted to break him, but knew how, maybe had some experience in the matter. Raph had wanted to gut her just for that, but Leo wouldn't let him.
Enough. Shredder was back in the city, soon to die a slow death at Raph's hands, and Karai was a hideous snake monster now. Leo was his, completely his, pliant and willing in a way he'd never been before and might never be again.
He moved his fingers faster, but he was still startled when Leo's cock spilled into the open. Of course--there was no impulse control to keep it hidden, now. Raph dropped down at the sight, and had a sudden urge to move the trash can beneath himself.
Raph took a moment to compare their two lengths. He was bigger than Leo, he decided, if only very slightly. The thought made him smile, and he pinched Leo's cock viciously.
In his imagination, Leo moaned in pain and pleasure, throwing his head back.
You like that? Fantasy-Raph whispered, looming over him. You like that, you little whore?
Yes, Leo hissed, a tear trickling down his perfect cheek. Yes, please, Master...more. Please.
So Raph gave him more. He touched Leo with one hand while touching himself with the other, pouring deep churrs into his brother's mouth. Leo's cock emerged from the water, rigid and proud as a ship's mast, and Raph found himself leaning forward to take between his lips.
Oh! Leo cried out as real-Raph licked and suckled, writhing futilely against his restraints. Oh, Master, it feels so good...
Leo came first, and Raph came as his brother's sweet, sticky cum poured down his throat. He drank it all down, every lovely drop, while pretending that Leo was sputtering gratitude.
When they were both done, Raph grabbed some tissues and tossed them on top of the white mess inside the trash can, covering it up. He leaned back, head buzzing pleasantly. A tiny seed of guilt appeared in his gut, but there was no Leo or Splinter to nourish it and it died quickly.
They did it again. And again. And again.
And eventually, it wasn't enough.
The fantasies just kept coming, encouraged by Raph's midnight activities instead of being quenched by them. The fantasies of what he wanted to do to Leo, dreams of collars and whips and spurting blood, weren't nearly as frightening as the fantasies of what he could do. If he planned well. If he was careful. If he wasn't a pussy.
So that was how he found himself sitting awkwardly against the bathroom wall, legs braced on the sides of the tub, cock already out. He'd done enough workout routines in this bathroom to keep in good shape, but even so his calves were trembling slightly. He felt faintly ridiculous.
But then he pulled Leo's head between his thighs, and he didn't care what he looked like at all.
He churred, softly, as the head of his cock vanished between Leo' soft lips. He imagined Leo on his knees before him, hands shackled behind his back, gently sucking on Raph's head like it was a tasty treat.
Raph carefully fed more of his cock down Leo's throat; he had enough experience with feeding tubes to keep Leo from choking, to know that the soft noises he made were nothing to worry about. In Raph's mind, those noises turned into high, happy churrs as Leo desperately ground his own length against the bedroom floor.
He couldn't make Leo lick, but he could make his head waggle and bob, sending glorious vibrations up Raph's length. He held Leo's scalp gently, petting him tenderly. Leo was a good slave, and Raph wanted him to know it.
Raph came quickly the first time. Later, he was able to hold on longer, drawing out the exquisite sensations.
Still, their little get-togethers left faint bruises on Raph's rear and the bottom of his feet. They faded quickly, before anyone had a chance to notice, but Raph didn't like the look or feel of them.
That was when the idea of taking Leo out of the tub first made its appearance.
At first, he pushed it away fiercely. Moving Leo might make his injuries worse--more importantly, there would be nothing left to protect him from Raph's darkest impulses. He loved Leo with all his heart; he'd never hurt him, not in a million years.
But...if he was careful. If he was discreet. If he was gentle, in a way he never was when Leo was awake.
Who knew, maybe all this...stimulation was actually good for him? Maybe it was helping him heal?
Still, Raph resisted. He even tried to distract himself with a training session, only to nearly choke Mikey unconscious. Donnie and April had to pull him off, punching and screaming. Raph had stared down at his gasping little brother in a daze, vaguely wondering why he hadn't kicked Raph between the legs and flipped him the way Leo did when he lost control.
No one mentioned the incident, but Raph still knew to shut himself away in the bathroom with Leo again. He was left alone with his thoughts and his brother's limp, perfect form. No one looked in on them, no one seemed willing to approach the door. There was no one to make him stop.
It was really a miracle he lasted as long as he did.
One night he lay all the bathroom towels down the floor, forming a makeshift. Then, ears pricked for the slightest sign that anyone was awake, he slowly lifted Leo from the tub. The water sloshed gently as it was disturbed, although it was drowned by Raph's own pounding heart. He could feel Leo's heartbeat, too, slow and sure. It soothed him.
Raph lay Leo down, gently arranging his limbs like a doll. For a moment he just knelt there and looked, fighting the urge to toss Leo back in the tub and forget this ever happened.
He pictured Leo looking up at him through half-lidded eyes. Well, Master, he asked, licking his lips, What are you going to do now?
Raph glowered, the way he always did when Leo offered him a challenge, and lowered himself between his brother's thighs. With one hand he drew out his own cock, getting hard just from seeing Leo so vulnerable, so open.
With his other hand he reached between his brother's legs, a space that now felt as familiar as his own. He paused to tug at Leo's tail, picturing how he would squeal at the sensation. Then he inserted one finger inside his brother, followed by another, scissoring the way he'd read about in porn books snatched from trash cans.
Leo was already slick from so much time in warm water. It wasn't long enough before Raph felt confident enough to line himself up with his entrance before slowly, carefully pushing his way inside.
He had to bite his lip bloody to keep from letting out an unmanly shriek at the sensation. It felt good. It felt great. Leo may have been limp and cool on the outside, but his insides were blazing hot and so tight. It felt like he was sucking Raph in, swallowing him up.
He wants this, Raph told himself as he held still, letting Leo adjust. His body wants this, even if his mind doesn't know it. He imagined how Leo would sigh and moan like a girl, pushing up to meet his stronger, bigger, superior brother.
Raph rocked back and forth, muscles straining as he fought not to cum too early. He kept one hand on Leo's chest, keeping him from being shifted around by Raph's actions. The other hand tugged at Leo's slit, coaxing out his cock--Raph wanted him to enjoy this, too. He began planting delicate kisses on Leo's lips and neck, enjoying how soft his brother's skin felt.
Leo was so smooth, so calm, so accepting, so..."Beautiful," Raph rasped, no longer feeling intimidated by the word. He sped up, sinking his teeth into the crevice of his brother's shoulder where no one would see. "So fucking beautiful."
Too beautiful for this, whispered an ugly voice in the back of his head. Raph shoved it away, letting it disappear under the building waves of pleasure.
Leo came first, splattering them both, and Raph came at the sight, pumping the other turtle fully of milky goodness. Leo was his now, bound to him by something stronger than DNA, and no one could ever take that away from them.
He collapsed, panting, at his brother's side, pulling him into a protective embrace. Cum squelched beneath them both--cum and something else: blood. Raph had made his brother bleed, and the thought intoxicated and sickened him in equal measure.
He tugged Leo's head onto his shoulder, stroking his neck. Thank you, Master, fantasy-Leo murmured sleepily. Anytime, pet, Raph thought back.
Raph wanted to look down at Leo, curled so neatly by his side, but he couldn't see him through a haze of something hot and wet. Tears. He was coming down from his high, maybe for the first time in a long while, and now he was trembling under a rush of emotion.
Leo didn't deserve this. His sweet, smart, pretty brother should have lost his virginity on a bed of soft cotton and rose petals, with someone who deserved him--not Raph, not even Karai. Instead, it had been stolen from him in his sleep on a cold tiled floor, taken by a lunatic who needed to have impulse control beaten into him.
Raph pulled his brother closer to him and wept quietly. His tears dropped onto Leo's head, running down his face so it looked like he was crying, too.
Afterwards, he cleaned Leo off and lowered him back into the tub. He rinsed all the blood and cum off the towels, tossing the wettest into the hamper before hanging the rest up to dry. Leo had a few bruises, although they were small and well hidden.
If Donnie ever suspected anything during Leo's check-ups, he didn't dare say it aloud.
Raph fucked his brother several more times over the course of his coma, trying to stretch it out so he wouldn't risk damaging Leo. In between he sustained himself with kissing and touching; he occasionally had to fish Leo's semen out of the water with a cup so it wouldn't float around and attract attention.
It had been over a week since the last time they had sex, and Raph was just thinking about doing it again, when Leo finally woke up.
Raph waited with bated breath for Leo to mention something, to find out whether he retained any memories from the coma. He knew he should be afraid, but part of him hoped that Leo would not only remember their encounters, but slip into Raph's bed at night, desperate to repeat them.
Or maybe...he had fantasies about Leo confronting him in secret, all swords and self-righteousness, only for Raph to defeat him, beat him senseless, tie him up and fuck him until he begged to come. He'd masturbate to the idea while his hands shook with fear, simultaneously aroused and terrified at the idea of upending their lives like that.
But Leo didn't seem to remember anything. If he noticed any stickiness or soreness, he must have chalked it up to the effects of the coma. If he had any memories, he must have passed them off as strange dreams and buried them in his subconscious.
Things went back to normal--as normal as their lives ever were, anyway. Leo recovered, with Raph a faithful and steady presence at his side. They resumed their fights soon enough, with Leo keeping Raph under control as best he could and Raph doing the same for him.
Raph stored his memories and fantasies of those months at the back of his mind, only bringing them out at night, when he was alone in bed. Sometimes the thoughts of what he'd done made him cry, but they always made him cum.
With Leo's guidance, and later Splinter's, he kept his dark side firmly leashed and under control.
For now.