Talia needed a job, and she hoped today was the day she nailed one down. She was confident that getting a position at Mickey’s Subs would be easy, or at the very least, easier than all of the other jobs she had applied for. She spent her entire Saturday afternoon at the strip mall, going place to place asking if anyone was hiring. She got either a curt but polite ‘no’, or a noncommittal ‘here, fill this out’ as she was handed an application form.

Mickey’s Subs was different. The manager, a tall, lanky cheetah who introduced himself as Steve, seemed downright jovial when she asked if they were hiring. He stood behind the counter and shook her paw. He explained that there had been an opening for a while. He gave her the application form, and before she even started on it, asked when she could sit down and have an interview. Pleasantly surprised by what felt like a breach in protocol, she said tomorrow would be best, when she didn’t have school. Steve told her that would work and to show up around 3 o’clock, when the lunch rush was over. She agreed, then filled out her paperwork and gave it to him.

“See you then!” Steve told her, just before ringing someone up behind the cash register. Talia left, greatly relieved to finally have a place to make money. Of course, that wasn’t guaranteed just yet, but Steve’s amiable personality and charm gave her the first glimmer of hope she had experienced since her job search had begun.

Talia, a beagle, hadn’t worked since high school. Going to college on a four-year basketball scholarship helped ease the burden of financial stress. That was until she planned on moving into her own apartment by the end of her junior year, and needed money to accomplish that. So she began the dreadful hunt for a job, not garnering much success until she stepped foot into Mickey’s, a place she’d visited only a handful of times in the past.

That Sunday she pulled into the parking lot just in front of Mickey’s. She got out of her car wearing an outfit she admittedly put together after looking up online what was appropriate to wear in an interview. Though seemingly casual, she made sure to keep everything crisp and well-adjusted. Her clothes were impeccably ironed. Her hair was brushed to the nines. Already self-conscious about her floppy beagle ears, she kept them hidden under her long auburn hair as best she could. She took a deep breath and strode to the door, shoving aside any worries and jitters she had. When she opened the door, Steve and another employee, a short grey rabbit, were behind the counter. Steve saw her and beamed brightly.

“Hey! Mrssssss….” He snapped his finger and bounced it at her, pursing his lips as he searched his memory for her name.

“Talia.” she said, smiling patiently.

“Talia! That’s it.” He bopped his forehead with the ball of his palm, almost knocking off the visor he wore on his head. “I’m sorry. My memory sucks.”

“It’s OK.” She liked him already. She felt herself relaxing a little.

“Jake, you got this?” Steve asked the rabbit.

“You got it,” Jake said with a thumbs up.

The place seems friendly enough, Talia noted.

“Alright. I’ll be right with you Talia.” Steve hustled into the backroom, taking off his visor and untying his apron. He came back and walked out from behind the counter, dressed in khakis and a blue polo shirt. His exceptionally long legs carried him over to her as he extended a skinny, spotted arm. “Thanks for coming, again!”

Talia took his paw and shook it firmly. “You’re wel-”

Her attention was snatched away. She saw it just on the bottom cusp of her vision, like a poltergeist sneaking in and out of her peripheral. She would've missed it if her face was tilted just one degree higher. But it wasn’t, and that one shake of the paw, so perfunctory and cordial, jostled into her perception something that sucked in her gaze like a vortex.

Sitting snugly under the not-so-subtly stretched fabric of Steve’s khaki pants was his Herculean scrotum. Shoved so rudely against his zipper, Talia could make out the vague form of his jovian testicles and the stub of his sheath. So bold and voluminous, it held an audacious presence totally separate from that of Steve's. Talia’s face went flush and her throat grew tight.

“-come…” She swallowed her spit, eyes inexorably drawn to his penile paunch.

“Alright! Wanna do things outside or in here?” he asked, chipper attitude intact.

Talia looked up at him, petrified. “Do… things?” she half-squeaked.

“Yeah, the interview. We can do it in here or out on the patio next door. Whatever’s more comfortable for you!”

A nauseating wave of relief almost knocked Talia out cold. Oh, sweet Jesus, what was I thinking? “Y-yeah. Let’s go outside.”

“Cool! It’s a pretty day for it.” Steve went to the door and opened it for her, holding it with one arm. Seeing him in profile gave her an better estimate of his size: still really fucking big. His boisterous bulge jutted from him, distinguishing itself proudly from the rest of his body.

How the hell does he walk around with that? For God's sake, can’t he tuck it just a little? Judging by how broad his scandalous scrotum was, she realized that wasn’t something he could physically do. She walked past him, head and shoulders hunched down as she sensed his package’s presence leer next to her like a teacher prowling for cheating students.

“Take a seat at any table,” he said. 

In front of the cafe next door was a patio with a dozen green metal tables. Sprouting from each one was a nylon umbrella. Around them were four crescent shaped seats of similar design. Talia hustled for the nearest one, eager to sit down. She took a deep breath. Relax. Stop being a creep. At least I don’t have to look at it anymore.

“Ok!” Steve said, sitting down at the table. Talia watched in horror as Steve sat down in the seat next to her, faced his whole body towards her, and man-spread his legs out, fully displaying his magnum man-fruit to her. Her jaw clenched. She wrenched her paws on her pants. Why? WHY does he have to sit like that? She was faced fully towards the umbrella, too anxious to turn herself an inch in his direction. As badly as she wanted to look away, she knew it was rude not to look at him. She forced her head to face him, but kept her body facing the umbrella.

Steve could see the unease on her face. Her posture was stiff. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes!” she blurted with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. She couldn’t stop her eyes from making quick jabs towards his junk, which looked like a coconut lodged between the crevice of two conjoined trees.

“Relax! I don’t bite.” he said with his characteristic kindness as his cock and balls seemed ready to tear through his pants and with it the fabric of reality. 

“I know sir. Sorry sir.”

“No need to call me sir, or mister, or any of that crap. Just Steve. We keep things casual around here.”

“Yeah…” Talia said flatly, once again stealing a quick look at his barbaric balls. “I can tell.”

“So! Tell me about yourself. Tell me who Talia is. What makes you, you?” He clasped his fingers together relaxedly. He leaned his elbow on the table and lolled his head to the side, looking both care-free and attentive. The way he adjusted his legs made it seem as though his cock was listening too.

Talia gulped and took a quick breath. Look at his eyes. Look at how pretty they are. She focused on his plasma-yellow irises and the black streaks that fell below them down to his jowls. She noticed for the first time how sleek his nose looked on his gaunt face. There we go. He’s pretty handsome. Whatever you do, do NOT imagine him in his underwear.

“Well, I was born and raised in Cleveland. I graduated from Daniel Boone High school in 2018. I’ve been into computers my whole life, playing video games and programming. Now I’m a junior at Ohio State-”

“Go Buckeyes,” Steve said with a quick rise of a power fist.

She giggled. “Go Buckeyes. I’m majoring in computer science and I plan on having a career in web developing.”

“Awesome. You know, my cousin lives in Cleveland. He graduated from Daniel Boone.”

Is his dick as big as yours?

Talia clenched her fist over her pants, scraping her claws against the fabric. No! Stop it! 

“Cool!” she chirped, voice almost cracking. “What year did he graduate?”

“2004, I think.”

“Oh. Then I guess I wouldn’t know him.” I’d remember someone carrying around something like that voluptuous viper you’ve got.

She grinded her feet together. Stooooooooooooooooooop!

“Nah, we’re old. It’s good to hear you’ve got a plan for the future! Do you have any specific jobs in mind? Like a specific place you want to work? When will you apply?”

Talia knew the meaning behind this question. Do you plan on working with us forever? How long do you plan on being our wage slave?

She gave it to him straight, betting correctly that he already knew the answer. “Nothing specific for now. I plan on applying as soon as I graduate, which will be next year.”

Steve nodded. He figured as much. “It’s good that you have a plan. So many college students fail to think things out like you have. It’s refreshing to hear. What are some of your strengths? What do you think will help you out if you end up working here?”

If you’d put away your fucking mesozoic meat, that would help. “I’m able to focus on a task very well, and if necessary, multitask. I know you hear all of the time that there is no such thing as multitasking, but I usually can juggle two or three things at once. That doesn’t mean I text and drive or anything, I just work well when I’m being told to do multiple things at once. I’ve sat behind computers for hours on end programming without a break, so I know how to focus on tasks when they’re presented to me.” Like how you’re presenting right now. Please God, don’t be doing this on purpose.

“Good to hear. Things can get hectic in there, and it helps a lot to be able to focus and juggle a bunch of stuff at once. You won’t be alone, obviously, but there will be times when you might feel overwhelmed.”

Kinda feeling that right now, buddy.

“Now let’s talk about weaknesses. What do you think’s gonna get in the way, sometimes?”

Don’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyourdickdon’tsayyour-

“I can lose my patience sometimes,” she admitted. “When people don’t listen to me or do what they need to, I can get frustrated. I get bothered by slow walkers in the hall, or people in traffic.”

Steve chuckled. His balls bounced, as if they were laughing with him. “I’m like that too. If you can’t drive fast enough, get the hell out of the left lane.”

Talia managed her own uneasy laugh. “Yeah, exactly.” She wanted to make a cheetah joke, but left it alone. Although I doubt he can run fast with that anvil between his legs.

“When and what was your last job?” he asked. “Why did you leave?”

“I bussed tables at a Red Lobsters when I got my license. I worked there part time until I graduated. I left a hostess. I haven’t had a job since.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

As much as I would any other job taking people’s orders. “I did.”

“Being a hostess is a pretty good gig for a high schooler. If I’m going to be honest, this is a bit of a step down from that. What brings you here?”

This is the only place that gave me an iota of attention. Kinda starting to wish it wasn’t. “I’ve been a fan of Mickey’s for a while now,” said the girl who couldn’t recall the last time she had ever visited one. “I’ve had birthdays here, both mine and friends. I love sub places like Subway and Jersey Mike’s, but this place is my favorite.”

“Awesome. It’s always good when longtime fans come in to work here. I worked at one in Trumbull. One of my first jobs out of-”

Talia hardly heard a word he was saying. Going into his story, he had leaned back and adjusted himself upright. Her gaze once again fell victim to the gravitation of his masculine mound. She couldn’t leave it this time, her vision strapped to it like a thrillseeker on a rollercoaster. She was just along for the ride. Her imagination cruelly began its work, materializing his genitals in her mind. Now she did imagine him in his underwear. She saw him in tighty-whities. They were woefully undersized, fit only for his waist size and not the godly scrotum hanging off of him. They bowed forward under the terrible stress imposed on them. The waistband was pulled off of him, unveiling the wiry jungle of pubes growing above his sheathe.

That got Talia thinking. She had no idea how big his dick was, only his sack. Naturally she imagined it as a tremendously tall column of bloody pink, striated by pulsing veins climbing the entirety of his fat shaft. She remembered how cats have barbs. God, they must be like thorns on a rosebush. But what if it wasn’t big? What if it failed to meet the expectations set so astronomically high by his balls? She pictured his penis poking its way out of his fuzzy white sheath, looking like one of those teeny garden eels she had seen on TV peeking from the sea floor.

“Snrk!”

Talia’s paw went over her maw. Her snort of laughter went unheard by Steve, but he did catch her clamping her mouth shut and shaking as she fought back the giggles.

“Hey, are you OK?” he asked, thinking something was wrong.

Talia inhaled sharply and sighed. She blinked away tears of laughter. “I’m fine! I’m fine!” she wheezed. Fuck! Stop laughing!

“Are you sure? Want some water?”

“Yes, please…” She thought for a second. “Better yet, can we continue this inside? I think I’m allergic to something out here.”

“Absolutely.” The two of them left the patio. Talia marched ahead, head bowed as she tried to hide her scrunched face. She sat at a booth, grateful to have a place where a table would separate her from Steve’s cryptid crotch. He sat down across from her and handed her a small plastic cup of water. She drained it in a couple gulps.

“Better?” he asked.

She set the cup down and noticed that his lower body was totally obscured. “Better,” she said decisively.

“Good! Now, where were we? Oh yeah, I was talking about how we work here.”

“Yeah, do you mind repeating that? I was kind of distracted by my allergies.” Among other things.

“No problem. I was just saying that we try really hard to create a customer friendly atmosphere here. We greet everyone with a smile and act happy. You were a hostess, so I’m sure that comes naturally for you. We like to-”

Talia was gone again, her mind wandering back into the no-man’s land of Steve’s groin. All she saw was the flat wooden plain of the table in front of her, but like a recently removed cast, she still felt that lingering presence. Morbid curiosity tempted her to steal another glance under the table. It was like encountering an extraordinary relic at a museum. It deserved every bit of attention and admiration it got. With one final titanic effort, she whipped her focus back on Steve, the man, not the penis.

“-think you’re gonna do great here. You’re experienced and you sound like you’re a quick learner. We’ll be glad to have you around.” Steve said, beaming.

Talia smiled back, uncertain what his last few sentences were. Whatever they were, they sounded good. “Soooo…”

“So, welcome aboard!” he said gaily, flashing his feline fangs. 

Talia lurched back in the booth with a dramatic groan. “Oh, thank God.” She wasn’t sure what brought more relief: her getting the job or him never noticing her immodest ogling.

Steve chuckled. “You didn’t need to be that worried about it. Someone as experienced as you had it in the bag. In fact, you’re almost overqualified.”

Talia shook his paw. “Thank you so much, Steve. I appreciate it and look forward to working here.” Well, might as well get used to being around that monstrosity.

“And I look forward to working with you.”

“Welcome to the team,” chimed in Jake from behind the counter. Talia jolted at his voice. She forgot he was there.

The two briefly discussed her schedule. She told him what times worked for her, and he came up with her first day. With one final pawshake and sincere thanks, Talia turned tail and skedaddled.

Steve rubbed his chin thoughtfully. What a weird girl. Shrugging it off, he went back behind the counter and put on his visor and apron.

“So, how was she?” asked Jake.

“I think she’ll be fine here. She’s done hostess work before, so she’s got experience. Thing is, she seemed really… off, that whole interview.”

“Really?” Jake said, smirking.

“Yeah. She acted really jittery and distant, like she had a thousand yard stare going on. It’s like her mind was on a whole other planet.”

Jake’s lips contorted as he fought back a grin. His eyes darted down at Steve’s crotch, and then back up. “Huh, I wonder why.”

THE END