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"description": "We have a special interview for you today, last weekend, I had the opportunity to sit down with the owner of Hanz’s Exotic and Fine Meats and had a very nice discussion with him at his very fine establishment. \n\nJill: “ Thank you for taking the time to sit down with us today, by all regards, you are one very busy bull.”\n \nHanz: “My pleasure Jill, I always do my best to support my local news and other surrounding businesses. And how can I turn down such a pretty leopard coming into my humble establishment?”\n \nJill: “ Oh Hanz you sweet talker, you know flattery and free samples will get you everywhere.”\n \nHanz: “ Free samples are always available for buyers or those that want to come in and just window shop or get some private time with a selection of our live meats.“\n\nJill: “Free samples are such a rare treat, I really enjoyed that slice of liver and was that a bit of gazelle uterus I picked up?\n\nHanz: “You like many of our customers have a very refined palate and you called it that sample was actually a bit of liver and uterus just butchered from the one of our front window specials this morning” \n\nJill: “ Truly tender and delicious, I see you’ve already sold one. Just some of our readers or viewers will ask how does a bull get into the meat selling market?” \n\nHanz: “ Thank you for asking, I get that question often the answer is quite simple. I got in to this particular line of work a number of years ago, now I have over half a dozen stores in three states. The main reason being is serving my community.” \n\nJill: “Serving your community, serving your community by selling fellow herbivores to predators?”\n\nHanz: “ Well yes that is part of it, but let’s face it, that’s going to happen one way or another. The Citizens Cooperative Reclamation Peoples Intake Centers do great work when it comes to bums, homeless, road kill and or the sick and elderly.” \n\nJill: “My family received meat from the CCRPIC for many years when I was growing up. My parents made it a little game for us to figure out if they came from the hospital, old folks home or accident.”\n\nHanz: \"How interesting, I don't think I ever heard of that, which was your favorite?\"\n\nJill: \"Oh the accidents by far, always the freshest and often came with extras, I remember when I was maybe 15 the CCRPIC coming by with a young doe maybe only a few years older than me and my sisters that had a horrible traffic accident. Both legs broken and a bad head injury, it just mumbled nonsense, as dad carried her in both my sisters noticed the most lovely earrings. I still have those to this day so it's not like the CCRPIC doesn't do good work?\"\n\nHanz: “Yes, yes, without question they help our society stay balanced, our herbivore herds stay healthy and offer financial incentives.”\n\nJill: “Just no free samples from them?”\n\nHanz laughs and nods “ Nope no free samples, mostly only prepackaged, frozen mixed meat from the CCRPIP with exceptions such as accidents of course.\"\n\nJill: “ Which does help keep crime near zero and herbivore homeless and debt is near unheard of, is it not?\"\n\nHanz: “ All true but where I come in is the financial incentives for families receive from those services are very small, especially if you’re not talking about grandma or grandpa that’s been sitting in the home or even a fawn that’s in the cancer ward.\"\n\nJill: “How interesting, I haven’t thought of that. Please tell me more.” \n\nHanz: “ Very simply put, how the CCRPIC keeps prices low or even subsidized for most families is they largely rely on the old, sick, accidents and to a lesser degree voluntary cullings.” \n\nJill: “ Like last month when we were having that meat shortage and that traveling herbivore soccer team had that horrible bus accident. As we reported so very sad yet fortune it was so near one of the main CCRPIC processing plants.” \n\nHanz: “Umm yes very sad, just very strange how a bus suddenly loses control like that with every last member being killed?” \nJill: “We should remind all of our viewers and readers to never drink and drive,\"\n\nHanz: “And always wear your seatbelt, either way that’s one spot the CCRPIC excels. Yet what happens when you have a healthy family member or you’re a less common breed an exotic as some might say in my business?”\n\nJill: “Such as a black leopard ?” raising a eyebrow \n\nHanz bows his head slightly “Don’t worry we don’t deal in fur here but yes our front window specials are a great example.”\n\nJill: “Looks like you have a delicious selection coming up for the Yule holiday?”\n \nHanz: “ Yule is one of our busiest times of year for live meat. Just last week, we had the parents of these three beautiful selections come in. One of the daughters had an unlicensed pregnancy with the father being the mate.”\n\nJill: “ Oh my heavens, that would be heavy fines and a huge hit to the families social credit score!” \n\nHanz nods “ That assumes they could even get the breeding license with father and daughter exception and let me tell you mother wasn't happy.”\n\nJill: “Very expensive and really what would the neighbors think?\"\n\nHanz: “ Hugely expensive, the 2nd daughter that just started her heat was caught smoking marijuana and had multiple piercings done without paying the corporate permits” \n\nJill: “I thought I smelled prey in heat I was wondering if you had a trick for that, its such a mouth watering scent.\" \n\nHanz: “Unfortunately I have yet to find an air freshener that can trick the nose, that said especially for our canine customers we change out the meats tampon every few hours. And package those 3 for 12.99 while supplies last, we have a few customers that always buy those out. The third daughter was constantly trying to run away, getting in trouble with the law so they were really backed into a corner. Now if they went to the CCRPIC and did a voluntary culling it would eliminate all those fines and definitely give them a bump to their social credit score. Otherwise they would walk away with pennies on the dollar.” \n\nJill: “They would be saving a lot on school, tuition, and food?” \n\nHanz: “ True and that’s what the CCRPIC relies on, the families saving money from the culling.” \n\nJill: “ Seems a shame that they don’t walk away with more financial incentive”\n\nHanz: “ Ah yes but that’s where I come in and how I serve my community… My herbivore community. This family having three daughters all at or near the perfect culling age, all three between 15 and 16. One pregnant which is perfect for Yule the celebration of rebirth and the horned hunter. Roasting a horned pregnant doe, ewe or cow is a special luxury not many families get to enjoy.”\n\nJill: “One, which, from looking at the front window, demands quite the premium”\n\nHanz: “It does come with quite the premium price tag, that said with the calf roasted inside the mothers womb the juices and fats will make for the most tender meal of the year by far. I'm told when you make that first cut out of the oven is just heavenly plus the juices are great for gravy or just by themselves. I was also able to forward that money along to the family that raised the animal. Far far above and beyond what they would have received from one of those other places.” \n\nJill: “ As for the other two, they don’t require such a high price?” \n\nHanz: “ I try to keep my prices as reasonable as possible, I don’t want only the super wealthy predators and carnivores to be able to shop here. The one in heat that was smoking marijuana, will be very good for flavor, we can pull her uterus if you want a fresh lunch, no need to bolt it for that. The other was getting a little old and certainly had a little too much kick so we put her on special and sold her quickly. The buyer didn’t want the guts, they must be on a diet. So we have those on special for pup lunches or after work snacks.” \n\nJill: “ I’ve noticed, you seem to have price points for all kinds of shoppers. Now I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one thing that your most vocal critics seem to bring up” \n\nHanz nods and smiles “ Yes yes I have a feeling I know what you’re going to ask.” \n\nJill: “ You offer a service unlike any other meat market in the district or even region.”\n\nHanz: “ I hope you’re referring to our unbeatable quality and pricing?” \n\nJill smiles and gives a sight nod before continuing. “ You certainly have points there in those regards. But more to the point your service allowing predators to inspect live meat, most often pretty young anthros some long before their first heat in a private setting, away from praying eyes.” \n\nHanz: “ Yes we offer that service for a small fee and we… I stand by that.” \n\nJill: “And to your critics saying that you are essentially running a brothel as a side business to your meat market? Your critics claim that this flagrantly goes in the face of laws designed to protect herbivores. Specifically the Prey-Anthro Rights and Dignity act of 1968?” \n\nHanz leans forward large hoofed hands together in front of him. “ As a herbivore owned and operated business, myself as well as all of my employees take the Prey-Anthro Rights and Dignity act of 1968 very seriously. We maintain an A++ rating rating with the a number of herbivore business watch groups that watch for abuse or violations of the act. In two of this organizations I'm personally a major sponsor and board member. And I personally will not accept any abuse of live meat products before or after intake and processing. This would go against our core company values and could very seriously undermine the quality of our products.” \n\nJill: “To the fact that this private rooms come with bottles of lube, condoms in various sizes and warm towels?\"\n\nHanz: “ Ummm well umm, first off who doesn’t like a warm towel, secondly not lube per se. These private rooms are for predators to closely examine products. They might be interested in purchasing for numerous reasons, more specifically to feed their family. While we pride ourselves on only bringing the highest quality clean meat to market. Some of our more discerning customers like to check the heath and fitness of their prey. This can lead to dry cracked paws, to which we provide moisturizing lotion. I say this here we in no way encourage sexual relations with any of our products live or otherwise” \n\nJill: “ That does make sense, keeping my paws from getting dried and cracked is a big concern, especially when I’m out shopping.” \n\nHanz: “ We pride ourselves on offering the most comfortable shopping experience possible.”\n\nJill: “Unlike with some of your other options in the area I’m told you offer full custom ordering?” \n\nHanz: “ Yes very true, when you buy from Hanz’s Exotic and Fine Meats you are in charge. If you’d like to pick one of our live products, we can have it tied up and brought to your vehicle just as you see it. If you prefer it bolted on the spot, no extra charge. For a minor up charge you can bolt your own prey in one of our private rooms for a authentic hunting feel without having to leave the city” \n\nJill: “ Such as for us large felines holding the prey down, classic neck bite?”\n\nHanz: “ Exactly, hold the neck as the prey finishes kicking we just recommend not wearing your Sunday best. Even using the bolt gun things can get messy and if a predator does wish to use their own claws and fangs we charge a mandatory cleaning fee. Sometimes with larger orders, such as with zebras, we can get one of our larger areas and make it a family event, very popular with birthday parties.” \n\nJill: “ I know what my boys are going to be asking for next fall” \n\nHanz: “Give me a call, and we will make sure to get you the friends and family price. Also if you prefer you can just pick cuts from our meat counter or pick out your live prey and let us do all the work. Within 24 hours your custom meat will be packaged, stamped and ready to toss on the grill.”\n\nJill: “ This all sounds so delicious”\n\nHanz: “ Well my lovely spotted guest would you like a full tour?” \n\nJill: “I’d love to see how you make these lovely products. Viewers check back at 5pm for our follow up after this and please check out Hanz’s Exotic and fine Meats now with 7 convenient locations near you.” \n\nPart 2: https://inkbunny.net/s/3074003\n\nAs always if you enjoyed any part of this art or story, Please leave a comment below I really appreciate those \n\nThe Art was done by my good friend the very very talented https://www.furaffinity.net/user/maziurek\n\n\nThis piece (art) was heavily inspired by this particular picture https://inkbunny.net/s/2890887",
"description_bbcode_parsed": "We have a special interview for you today, last weekend, I had the opportunity to sit down with the owner of Hanz’s Exotic and Fine Meats and had a very nice discussion with him at his very fine establishment.
Jill: “ Thank you for taking the time to sit down with us today, by all regards, you are one very busy bull.”
Hanz: “My pleasure Jill, I always do my best to support my local news and other surrounding businesses. And how can I turn down such a pretty leopard coming into my humble establishment?”
Jill: “ Oh Hanz you sweet talker, you know flattery and free samples will get you everywhere.”
Hanz: “ Free samples are always available for buyers or those that want to come in and just window shop or get some private time with a selection of our live meats.“
Jill: “Free samples are such a rare treat, I really enjoyed that slice of liver and was that a bit of gazelle uterus I picked up?
Hanz: “You like many of our customers have a very refined palate and you called it that sample was actually a bit of liver and uterus just butchered from the one of our front window specials this morning”
Jill: “ Truly tender and delicious, I see you’ve already sold one. Just some of our readers or viewers will ask how does a bull get into the meat selling market?”
Hanz: “ Thank you for asking, I get that question often the answer is quite simple. I got in to this particular line of work a number of years ago, now I have over half a dozen stores in three states. The main reason being is serving my community.”
Jill: “Serving your community, serving your community by selling fellow herbivores to predators?”
Hanz: “ Well yes that is part of it, but let’s face it, that’s going to happen one way or another. The Citizens Cooperative Reclamation Peoples Intake Centers do great work when it comes to bums, homeless, road kill and or the sick and elderly.”
Jill: “My family received meat from the CCRPIC for many years when I was growing up. My parents made it a little game for us to figure out if they came from the hospital, old folks home or accident.”
Hanz: "How interesting, I don't think I ever heard of that, which was your favorite?"
Jill: "Oh the accidents by far, always the freshest and often came with extras, I remember when I was maybe 15 the CCRPIC coming by with a young doe maybe only a few years older than me and my sisters that had a horrible traffic accident. Both legs broken and a bad head injury, it just mumbled nonsense, as dad carried her in both my sisters noticed the most lovely earrings. I still have those to this day so it's not like the CCRPIC doesn't do good work?"
Hanz: “Yes, yes, without question they help our society stay balanced, our herbivore herds stay healthy and offer financial incentives.”
Jill: “Just no free samples from them?”
Hanz laughs and nods “ Nope no free samples, mostly only prepackaged, frozen mixed meat from the CCRPIP with exceptions such as accidents of course."
Jill: “ Which does help keep crime near zero and herbivore homeless and debt is near unheard of, is it not?"
Hanz: “ All true but where I come in is the financial incentives for families receive from those services are very small, especially if you’re not talking about grandma or grandpa that’s been sitting in the home or even a fawn that’s in the cancer ward."
Jill: “How interesting, I haven’t thought of that. Please tell me more.”
Hanz: “ Very simply put, how the CCRPIC keeps prices low or even subsidized for most families is they largely rely on the old, sick, accidents and to a lesser degree voluntary cullings.”
Jill: “ Like last month when we were having that meat shortage and that traveling herbivore soccer team had that horrible bus accident. As we reported so very sad yet fortune it was so near one of the main CCRPIC processing plants.”
Hanz: “Umm yes very sad, just very strange how a bus suddenly loses control like that with every last member being killed?”
Jill: “We should remind all of our viewers and readers to never drink and drive,"
Hanz: “And always wear your seatbelt, either way that’s one spot the CCRPIC excels. Yet what happens when you have a healthy family member or you’re a less common breed an exotic as some might say in my business?”
Jill: “Such as a black leopard ?” raising a eyebrow
Hanz bows his head slightly “Don’t worry we don’t deal in fur here but yes our front window specials are a great example.”
Jill: “Looks like you have a delicious selection coming up for the Yule holiday?”
Hanz: “ Yule is one of our busiest times of year for live meat. Just last week, we had the parents of these three beautiful selections come in. One of the daughters had an unlicensed pregnancy with the father being the mate.”
Jill: “ Oh my heavens, that would be heavy fines and a huge hit to the families social credit score!”
Hanz nods “ That assumes they could even get the breeding license with father and daughter exception and let me tell you mother wasn't happy.”
Jill: “Very expensive and really what would the neighbors think?"
Hanz: “ Hugely expensive, the 2nd daughter that just started her heat was caught smoking marijuana and had multiple piercings done without paying the corporate permits”
Jill: “I thought I smelled prey in heat I was wondering if you had a trick for that, its such a mouth watering scent."
Hanz: “Unfortunately I have yet to find an air freshener that can trick the nose, that said especially for our canine customers we change out the meats tampon every few hours. And package those 3 for 12.99 while supplies last, we have a few customers that always buy those out. The third daughter was constantly trying to run away, getting in trouble with the law so they were really backed into a corner. Now if they went to the CCRPIC and did a voluntary culling it would eliminate all those fines and definitely give them a bump to their social credit score. Otherwise they would walk away with pennies on the dollar.”
Jill: “They would be saving a lot on school, tuition, and food?”
Hanz: “ True and that’s what the CCRPIC relies on, the families saving money from the culling.”
Jill: “ Seems a shame that they don’t walk away with more financial incentive”
Hanz: “ Ah yes but that’s where I come in and how I serve my community… My herbivore community. This family having three daughters all at or near the perfect culling age, all three between 15 and 16. One pregnant which is perfect for Yule the celebration of rebirth and the horned hunter. Roasting a horned pregnant doe, ewe or cow is a special luxury not many families get to enjoy.”
Jill: “One, which, from looking at the front window, demands quite the premium”
Hanz: “It does come with quite the premium price tag, that said with the calf roasted inside the mothers womb the juices and fats will make for the most tender meal of the year by far. I'm told when you make that first cut out of the oven is just heavenly plus the juices are great for gravy or just by themselves. I was also able to forward that money along to the family that raised the animal. Far far above and beyond what they would have received from one of those other places.”
Jill: “ As for the other two, they don’t require such a high price?”
Hanz: “ I try to keep my prices as reasonable as possible, I don’t want only the super wealthy predators and carnivores to be able to shop here. The one in heat that was smoking marijuana, will be very good for flavor, we can pull her uterus if you want a fresh lunch, no need to bolt it for that. The other was getting a little old and certainly had a little too much kick so we put her on special and sold her quickly. The buyer didn’t want the guts, they must be on a diet. So we have those on special for pup lunches or after work snacks.”
Jill: “ I’ve noticed, you seem to have price points for all kinds of shoppers. Now I would be remiss if I didn’t mention one thing that your most vocal critics seem to bring up”
Hanz nods and smiles “ Yes yes I have a feeling I know what you’re going to ask.”
Jill: “ You offer a service unlike any other meat market in the district or even region.”
Hanz: “ I hope you’re referring to our unbeatable quality and pricing?”
Jill smiles and gives a sight nod before continuing. “ You certainly have points there in those regards. But more to the point your service allowing predators to inspect live meat, most often pretty young anthros some long before their first heat in a private setting, away from praying eyes.”
Hanz: “ Yes we offer that service for a small fee and we… I stand by that.”
Jill: “And to your critics saying that you are essentially running a brothel as a side business to your meat market? Your critics claim that this flagrantly goes in the face of laws designed to protect herbivores. Specifically the Prey-Anthro Rights and Dignity act of 1968?”
Hanz leans forward large hoofed hands together in front of him. “ As a herbivore owned and operated business, myself as well as all of my employees take the Prey-Anthro Rights and Dignity act of 1968 very seriously. We maintain an A++ rating rating with the a number of herbivore business watch groups that watch for abuse or violations of the act. In two of this organizations I'm personally a major sponsor and board member. And I personally will not accept any abuse of live meat products before or after intake and processing. This would go against our core company values and could very seriously undermine the quality of our products.”
Jill: “To the fact that this private rooms come with bottles of lube, condoms in various sizes and warm towels?"
Hanz: “ Ummm well umm, first off who doesn’t like a warm towel, secondly not lube per se. These private rooms are for predators to closely examine products. They might be interested in purchasing for numerous reasons, more specifically to feed their family. While we pride ourselves on only bringing the highest quality clean meat to market. Some of our more discerning customers like to check the heath and fitness of their prey. This can lead to dry cracked paws, to which we provide moisturizing lotion. I say this here we in no way encourage sexual relations with any of our products live or otherwise”
Jill: “ That does make sense, keeping my paws from getting dried and cracked is a big concern, especially when I’m out shopping.”
Hanz: “ We pride ourselves on offering the most comfortable shopping experience possible.”
Jill: “Unlike with some of your other options in the area I’m told you offer full custom ordering?”
Hanz: “ Yes very true, when you buy from Hanz’s Exotic and Fine Meats you are in charge. If you’d like to pick one of our live products, we can have it tied up and brought to your vehicle just as you see it. If you prefer it bolted on the spot, no extra charge. For a minor up charge you can bolt your own prey in one of our private rooms for a authentic hunting feel without having to leave the city”
Jill: “ Such as for us large felines holding the prey down, classic neck bite?”
Hanz: “ Exactly, hold the neck as the prey finishes kicking we just recommend not wearing your Sunday best. Even using the bolt gun things can get messy and if a predator does wish to use their own claws and fangs we charge a mandatory cleaning fee. Sometimes with larger orders, such as with zebras, we can get one of our larger areas and make it a family event, very popular with birthday parties.”
Jill: “ I know what my boys are going to be asking for next fall”
Hanz: “Give me a call, and we will make sure to get you the friends and family price. Also if you prefer you can just pick cuts from our meat counter or pick out your live prey and let us do all the work. Within 24 hours your custom meat will be packaged, stamped and ready to toss on the grill.”
Jill: “ This all sounds so delicious”
Hanz: “ Well my lovely spotted guest would you like a full tour?”
Jill: “I’d love to see how you make these lovely products. Viewers check back at 5pm for our follow up after this and please check out Hanz’s Exotic and fine Meats now with 7 convenient locations near you.”
Part 2: https://inkbunny.net/s/3074003
As always if you enjoyed any part of this art or story, Please leave a comment below I really appreciate those
The Art was done by my good friend the very very talented https://www.furaffinity.net/user/maziurek
This piece (art) was heavily inspired by this particular picture https://inkbunny.net/s/2890887",
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