{
  "submission_id": "3531390",
  "keywords": [
    {
      "keyword_id": "1911",
      "keyword_name": "badger",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "7343"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "1209",
      "keyword_name": "bdsm",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "24003"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "199",
      "keyword_name": "bear",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "50338"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "21442",
      "keyword_name": "character development",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "1343"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "9101",
      "keyword_name": "d/s",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "380"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "123",
      "keyword_name": "female",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "1102759"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "41492",
      "keyword_name": "kangaroo mouse",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "286"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "165",
      "keyword_name": "male",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "1212792"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "473",
      "keyword_name": "otter",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "36526"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "157",
      "keyword_name": "red panda",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "15179"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "4530",
      "keyword_name": "slice of life",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "1810"
    },
    {
      "keyword_id": "10144",
      "keyword_name": "story progression",
      "contributed": "f",
      "submissions_count": "2041"
    }
  ],
  "hidden": "f",
  "scraps": "f",
  "favorite": "f",
  "favorites_count": "4",
  "create_datetime": "2025-01-22 21:06:54.744157+00",
  "create_datetime_usertime": "22 Jan 2025 22:06 CET",
  "last_file_update_datetime": "2025-01-22 21:05:00.927699+00",
  "last_file_update_datetime_usertime": "22 Jan 2025 22:05 CET",
  "username": "TerraMGP",
  "user_id": "46355",
  "user_icon_file_name": "60251_TerraMGP_terramg.gif",
  "user_icon_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/large/60/60251_TerraMGP_terramg.gif",
  "user_icon_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/medium/60/60251_TerraMGP_terramg.gif",
  "user_icon_url_small": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/small/60/60251_TerraMGP_terramg.gif",
  "file_name": "5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.doc",
  "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.doc",
  "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.doc",
  "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.doc",
  "thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.jpg",
  "thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.jpg",
  "thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.jpg",
  "thumb_huge_x": "194",
  "thumb_huge_y": "300",
  "thumb_large_x": "129",
  "thumb_large_y": "200",
  "thumb_medium_x": "78",
  "thumb_medium_y": "120",
  "files": [
    {
      "file_id": "5402217",
      "file_name": "5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.doc",
      "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.doc",
      "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.doc",
      "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.doc",
      "mimetype": "application/msword",
      "submission_id": "3531390",
      "user_id": "46355",
      "submission_file_order": "0",
      "full_size_x": null,
      "full_size_y": null,
      "screen_size_x": null,
      "screen_size_y": null,
      "preview_size_x": null,
      "preview_size_y": null,
      "initial_file_md5": "3b348b1693dda08047145faeef0c3178",
      "full_file_md5": "3b348b1693dda08047145faeef0c3178",
      "large_file_md5": "",
      "small_file_md5": "",
      "thumbnail_md5": "22eb1f7343fcdc560d52385234809aea",
      "deleted": "f",
      "create_datetime": "2025-01-22 21:05:00.927699+00",
      "create_datetime_usertime": "22 Jan 2025 22:05 CET",
      "thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.jpg",
      "thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.jpg",
      "thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5402/5402217_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_46_not_so_thankful.jpg",
      "thumb_huge_x": "194",
      "thumb_huge_y": "300",
      "thumb_large_x": "129",
      "thumb_large_y": "200",
      "thumb_medium_x": "78",
      "thumb_medium_y": "120"
    }
  ],
  "pools": [
    {
      "pool_id": "82354",
      "name": "Collared",
      "description": "A young woman seeks to find her way during her first year of College.",
      "count": "52",
      "submission_left_submission_id": "3531388",
      "submission_left_file_name": "5402215_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_45_re_friend.doc",
      "submission_left_thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5402/5402215_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_45_re_friend.jpg",
      "submission_left_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5402/5402215_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_45_re_friend.jpg",
      "submission_left_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5402/5402215_TerraMGP_collared_chapter_45_re_friend.jpg",
      "submission_left_thumb_huge_x": "194",
      "submission_left_thumb_huge_y": "300",
      "submission_left_thumb_large_x": "129",
      "submission_left_thumb_large_y": "200",
      "submission_left_thumb_medium_x": "78",
      "submission_left_thumb_medium_y": "120",
      "submission_right_submission_id": "3536656",
      "submission_right_file_name": "5412291_TerraMGP_genie_wish.doc",
      "submission_right_thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/5412/5412291_TerraMGP_genie_wish.jpg",
      "submission_right_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/5412/5412291_TerraMGP_genie_wish.jpg",
      "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5412/5412291_TerraMGP_genie_wish.jpg",
      "submission_right_thumb_huge_x": "194",
      "submission_right_thumb_huge_y": "300",
      "submission_right_thumb_large_x": "129",
      "submission_right_thumb_large_y": "200",
      "submission_right_thumb_medium_x": "78",
      "submission_right_thumb_medium_y": "120"
    }
  ],
  "description": "Justin still isn't doing ok. That's really bad news when it's time to go see the family for Thanksgiving. Hopefully he can keep himself together though it.",
  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Justin still isn&#039;t doing ok. That&#039;s really bad news when it&#039;s time to go see the family for Thanksgiving. Hopefully he can keep himself together though it.</span>",
  "writing": "Collared Chapter 46: Not So Thankful\n\nBy TerraMGP\n\n\tThere was that song lyric. Something about a `Smokey room' with the `smell of wine and cheap perfume'. One of the more insufferable songs to come on the oldies station. That's how the club felt when it was closed. It was an odd thing about Ms. Dubois. The `Madame' of the club was never one to put on airs. What would be pageantry for most was natural for her. Or if it wasn't, she did a damn good job of making it look that way. \n\n\tThe African dog wore her usual attire. A rubber evening gown with opera gloves. Thick stout dreads were locked in golden clasps at the tip and a long spindly cigarette holder clutched between two fingers as the smoke wafted up from it. One affectation Justin had, perhaps unwisely, taken up when he played the dominant role here.\n\n\tShe did not `play' though. There was no role. This club was hers and she was every inch it's Mistress. She looked her wayward employee over for a few long moments. A glass of something Justin didn't recognize but presumed to be alcohol slipped effortlessly down her throat in one quick gulp. She then set her steely green eyes on him.\n\n\t``Look.'' The otter sighed. ``I'm really sorry about-''\n\n\tA finger held up. The boy silenced instantly. She took a long, hard drag on the cigarette and blew the smoke into the air. Justin could feel a small tremble in the act Pent up frustration released like steam. ``I'm not so stupid as to throw a fit when one of my workers is legitimately hospitalized. Even if it's simply for observation.''\n\n\tJustin looked down at the note from his doctor. So much of that day was still missing. He knew Ozzy had driven him to the doctor because, well because there was no way he was paying for an ambulance. And because he was genuinely catatonic from the sounds of it. Or something. The cospay and premium increase from this were all he could think about when the doctor released him, and he'd been made to schedule an appointment with his psych three weeks early on top of it all. That was the only way they'd let him leave on his own recognizance. ``Still.'' He sighed ``I really am sorry. I know you said that the client was important.''\n\n\t``He is.'' Ms. Dubois noted ``And next time you'll be giving him a particularly good show, if you catch my meaning. That is if you want to keep working here. But again I am not stupid enough to think a boy at the cusp of a mental collapse is magically going to produce the kind of refined sissitrix I was expecting to offer up to our guest. No service is better than bad service for people like us, Justine.'' Her words cool, almost cold. The words of a teacher with thinning patience. ``I trust that's something you will remember.''\n\n\t``Yeah. I got it.'' He whimpered, slipping a bit into his girl voice on instinct from the name.\n\n\t``Good.'' She nodded ``In the meantime, I expect you to re-evaluate a few things. You don't have to worry about the weekend. I'd hardly take any client desperate enough to come to us on Thanks Giving, and I've found the day after is a headache almost as bad. For now simply get yourself sorted. Understand?''\n\n\tHe nodded wordlessly and did his best not to sigh. It felt wrong to leave without saying anything else. But what could he do? Justin had gone and fucked things up yet again.\n\n--------------------\n\n\t``You ok sweetie?''\n\n\tJustin blinked and gazed at his mother, quirking his brow a bit as he looked at the familiar smiling face with her near permanent expression of concern. He caused that. He inflicted that on her. Even if nobody said it, he knew it. Justin sighed and shook his head. ``Just thinking about things still, mom.'' the young man said with his best attempt at a nonchalant smirk. Not his usual one. Not one that was ever going to be convincing. It was just the best he had.\n\n\tMuch of the family was gathered. His parents, naturally. Cousins both first and second were mixed between those playing on the floor or in other rooms, or those that had decided to brave the horrific chill of early snow. Aunts and uncles, both great and regular, were divided between the living room and kitchen. `Regressive' as it was the women did tend to do most of the work for thanks givings among the Lockhart clan. This being Naqi's house, she was the one that should in theory set the tone. In truth it was probably his great aunts all squabbling. Which was also why his grandmother was out in the living room right now with them. As invested as the rest of the family with the football game going on before them.\n\n\tHis mother was there, too. Understandable for a woman who'd just given birth for the second time less than a month ago. She was just finishing up with feeding Molly while with one foot she helped Hui and Tootie by kicking Tootie's little plastic ball full of shaped blocks out for her to crawl after and grab.\n\n\tIt was busy. Frankly a part of Justin wanted to find some place to hide from it. After what he'd been though, after what he'd done. It was especially hard looking his parents in the face. It would be one thing if they were mad at him. But for some reason the subject had yet to come up even once.\n\n\t``Your girl is gonna be a good mom someday.'' Grandma Lockhart snickered. The elderly ursine woman at the back end of her 60s offered a warm smile down to the chipper red panda girl. She'd always liked Hui. Always approved of her. For her the romance that the young woman shared with her grandson was probably something straight out of some cheesy 70s love song.\n\n\tYeah, Gramma didn't need to know about Gretchen. Or anything else the three of them got up to.\n\n\t``Kid's already a few steps up on me.'' Justin's father snickered. ``Both of em really. Don't get me wrong I agree with you, Ma. But I'm hoping lil Molly will at least be in school by the time she has a baby niece or nephew running around.''\n\n\t``Well if she's anything like her mother, good luck getting her to go. Meredith was always fighting to stay home with me when she was in Kindergarten. Always felt like some of the kids were picking on her. Especially some of the boys.''\n\n\tJohn threw up his hands and leaned back into the couch in as passive a state as he could muster. ``Hey now don't look at me. I was always super nice to your daughter.''\n\n\t``Yuh huh. Like when you and your little friends pelted her with water balloons while she was gardening for me'' the grandmother's eyes narrowing to sharp, playful slits.\n\n\t``Come on that's not fair. We did that to everyone. My dad got us a whole bunch of cheap balloons. It was summer. What were we supposed to do? Stay inside and play Pokemon?''\n\n\t``You would have if your parents let you.'' Meredith chimed in. ``Then you turn around and complain at Justin for never going outside. Did you know this man used to sit up bragging about how he'd stay up all night watching Space Ghost, Coast to Coast? In Third Grade! Then he'd pass out on his desk and end up in the principals office.''\n\n\t``It's not my fault we had cable'' John huffed ``You're the one who kept making her friends watch that sea of VHS tapes.''\n\n\tMeredith rolled her eyes and glanced down at Hui. An exaggerated look of exhaustion spreading over her face. ``You sure you still wanna go through with this, dear? Nobody is forcing you to get hitched, you know.''\n\n\t``And what's that supposed to mean?'' Justin snapped. He meant it to be playful. His mother at least seemed to take it that way based on her expression. But it didn't feel that way. Both mother and son let it drop as he sank back into the couch and watched his girlfriend trying not to laugh at her future mother-in-law.\n\n\t``Come here Tootie. Come to Jeijei!'' Hui held out her arms and waggled her fingers. All the while the tiny bundle of bounce-mouse simply rocked forwards and backwards precariously close to the bookshelf. Her fuzzy-tipped tail whipping around uncontrollably and her little paws smacking the hard wood floor now and then.\n\n\tIt quickly became too much to take. With the family looking on and laughing Hui swooped in and scoped the girl up into her arms. The rubberized white pads of Tootie's red footie Pjs flailed in excitement the way only a kangaroo mouse girl's could. The little cub rocked and flailed in her babysitter's arms while the bulk of the Lockhart family looked on. \n\n\t``She really is good with her, huh?'' Grandma Lockhart snickered. ``A bit too cautious, though. Reminds me of how Meredith was with Justin.''\n\n\t``Justin kept getting himself hurt, mother.'' Meredith sighed. Her gaze turned to her now-adult son and she let an oddly nostalgic smile cut her mask of concern. ``Do you remember how often the poor boy would get his finger slammed in the car door? He doesn't have the same sensation other people do. What if Tootie is the same way?''\n\n\tThe ursine matron sighed and shrugged. ``He turned out just fine by my estimation. My number one Grandson is a tough guy. Right, Justin?'' \n\n\t``Right, Grandma'' Justin nodded a bit and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Before he could say more Justin felt his mother slipping Molly's twitchy sleeping form into his arms. The little otter baby had already started sporting some fluffy golden headfur. The poor thing twitched and flailed a bit. Justin had to stop her pacifier from slipping out of her mouth a few times. Or maybe he was just worried it would. A look down at Hui and he could see the same concern. She scooted herself against the couch right in front of him while bouncing the bounce-mouse and letting little Tootie jump on those still unsteady legs.\n\n\tThe term made him a bit uncomfortable. `Number One Grandson'. Their family was a bit wonky after all. His grandmother was Becky and Sherry's aunt. Ryan's dad was the oldest of these siblings but his own Grandma had been the only one to have a child in her teens whereas the others all waited until later. With the less said about his bio-grandpa the better. Hence Grandma using the name even after remarrying.\n\n\tIt was exhausting, and confusing to anyone outside of the family. But the worst part of that dynamic was one that would have thrilled him even a year ago. Great Grandma Lockhart always called Ryan her number one Grandson. He `was' the first one after all. Also probably the only one of her grandsons to keep close by and in contact since so many of them were scattered now. He was her baby in a lot of ways. She'd helped raise him the way she had many of them. She doted on him. He'd gotten the farmhouse for a reason after all. \n\n\tLook how that had made him turn out.\n\n\t``You ok, sweetie?'' His grandmother's voice snapped him back to reality. The otter's ears flicked and his rudder tail thumped into the groove in the couch before he could consciously say anything. Not that he knew what to say. \n\n\t``He's probably just a little on edge.'' His father chimed in, reaching over to give his son a shoulder-hug. ``Living on your own is a lot to deal with. Especially when you're just starting out.'' The pride on his father's face stung. It wasn't a mask. It'd be so much fucking easier if it had been. If his dad had been ashamed. If he was struggling to hide how bad Justin had already fucked up. He could have, and should have, mentioned the breakdown. Mentioned how `he' didn't collapse under the weight of fatherhood at 17, so why is Justin struggling with fucking shopping and work shit at 19? Why is this ungrateful little waterdog pup squandering the chance his parents gave him to get more than they had? He was botching it, and his dad refused to call him out on it!\n\n\t``Well, Great Gramma Lockhart is upstairs napping in the guest room, sweetie.'' His grandma smiled. ``But if you need to lay down I'm sure we could ask Ryan or Naqi if you can use their room. I know you're going though a lot right now. It's ok.''\n\n\t``I'm fine, Grandma.'' He sighed as he glanced down at his little sister. The sleeping little bundle of one-month-old who should have been the focus of his parents lives. The one who not only deserved but `needed' their attention. She was so helpless and small. She had a life ahead of her and he was eating up resources that should go to her. God knew that their premiums would probably go up due to his little mental snap. 24 hours of observation couldn't be cheap.\n\n\t``I'm fine, Gramma' he sighed. ``Besides I don't wanna move Molly. I'm not sure what I'd do with her if she woke up.''\n\n\t``Same thing you're doing now.'' His uncle Great Doug chimed in. The scrawny and somewhat nerdy looking badger man with his graying red hair, the Patagonia fleece and Apple watch, looked up from his place on the far end of the long couch and offered a confident smile. ``Babies really aren't that hard. Once you get over the worry that you'll hurt them if you move too much their needs are all pretty simple. Bottle of milk, burp, change, hold, sleep. Granted it's pretty exhausting having to remote call at work at two AM when you have to be in to the office at nine and you can't set the little thing down because she's just fallen asleep and won't sleep soundly in her crib.''\n\n\tHe was trying to be snaky. Uncle Doug wasn't good at snaky. Becky had absolutely gotten it from her mom. His heart was in the right place, though. It was almost enough to help Justin forget how nervous he was holding his baby sis in his arms. How fragile she felt and how utterly unequipped for any of this he was.\n\n\tThe fact that Hui had been playing caretaker to Tootie since summer ended just spoke volumes to how utterly amazing his woman was.\n\n\tEventually, mercifully, he let himself slip back into his seat and zone out while everyone else watched the sports ball people slam into each other in a sports ball kind of way. It wasn't any less inane now that he was an `adult'. Now that he'd passed so many of the tenuous rites of passage society had set out for people like him. He tried to focus on it anyways, though. Just to have something to dull the pain and stress.\n\n\tThat kept up for a while. Though the hustle and bustle of people in the kitchen arguing. His mother and great aunts who had all forced themselves into the more traditional role of working on dinner bickering with each other amid a sea of what was probably food they had mostly made at home anyways. The sound of those in the living room talking about the people on the screen, who he didn't know, and their stats with all of the fervor of him talking about his 40K army. It all eventually reached the point of white noise. Reached a point where he didn't notice any individual thing around him. Not until a heavy paw gripped his shoulder from behind.\n\n\t``Hey kid.'' The voice familiar. One that brought him a moment of reflexive joy, then agonized rejection. ``Oh, sorry I didn't see you had Molly. Listen, I hate to ask but you mind helping me out a bit? I was trying to move some stuff around so the kids could do Legos in the big room.''\n\n\t``I mean I would'' Justin muttered bitterly ``But, well''\n\n\t``It's ok, son.'' His father carefully and gently pulled the little bundle of fuzz into his own arms. Somehow, remarkably, managing to avoid waking her in the process. ``I know you're not exactly thrilled to watch us have a shot at winning this game anyways. Probably good to stretch your legs some.''\n\n\tIt wasn't right to be pissed at his dad. He knew this. The old man was smiling a big beaming smile as he gestured for Justin to go on ahead. It shouldn't piss him off. But Justin simply couldn't help it. He felt that surge of `teenage rage' as he pulled himself up. It was all he could do to hide it as he slipped around Hui and over towards the stairwell. The young otter clenching his body as if to lid off the molten roil of simmering anger deep in his gut.\n\n--------------------\n\n\t``I thought I had all your Legos.'' Justin muttered to himself while his feet hammered the stairs. He'd fallen down them a few times in the past. One misplaced heel causing him to slide down them on his back when he was younger. It was enough to get him to hold the railing. Not enough for him to slow down. Not now.\n\n\t``All my old Lego sets, sure.'' Ryan snickered ``You seem to forget you can still buy more of them as an adult.''\n\n\t``I guess I wouldn't know.'' Justin's foot hit the cold cement at the bottom of the stairs and he looked deeper into the basement. He paused. He wasn't quite sure why. Taking in the differences? Preparing to run? His mind and body were both screaming from the stress of simply being down here and yet neither one seemed to know how to properly react. The end result put his nervous system at loggerheads and left him struggling to avoid any trembling or other signs of weakness.\n\n\t``Looks better, right?'' Ryan blew past him. The well toned ursine man with the scraggly, bottle black goth-metal hair showed no signs of acknowledging Justin's distress. Instead he made his way though what were once simple stone walls leading in to a pair of coal-turned-storage rooms. It was all dry walled off now. Painted a sickeningly simple white with the barn doors leading to the storage rooms having been cleanly refinished and oiled to keep the character of the wood. \n\n\tIt was the big room at the end which shocked him most, though. Gone were all the trappings of some sinister home Dungeon. The throne, the hand made bondage furniture, the racks of switches and leather gear and other things who's purpose he'd only be able to guess at. Instead there were tables. A smattering of cheap folding tables set up in one corner. Each of them set with a foam block, carved and cut and painted into some semblance of a landscape. Two of them were unfinished. One a quarter-full of city scape scaled up for 40K. Another a desert with trees that Justin instantly realized were scaled more for Battletech. Nearby a small hip-height wall had been built and a set of dividers made of metal dowel dividers with a trio of untouched foam planks slotted into them, waiting to be pulled out and worked into a new battlefield.\n\n\t``So what's wrong? You decide playing against your Imperial Knights was more punishment than anything else?'' The joke was shit, but Justin snorted at it anyways. Not proud of himself persay. He'd just be damned if he gave Ryan any satisfaction.\n\n\tUnfortunately Ryan didn't seem phased. He gestured over to the other end of the first table. When Justin was in place he grabbed one end of the table and smiled that insufferable smile. ``ok then, one. Two. Three''\n\n\tUp went the tabletop, and without a word the two men got the light but fragile thing slotted into place next to the others. It wasn't heavy. Even Hui likely could have moved it by herself. But probably not without causing damage to the thing. Much as Justin hated his big cousin, he respected the hobby too much to let that happen.\n\n\t``You already saw us switching it over before, kid. This is just the end result.''\n\n\t``So, what?'' Justin scoffed ``Giving up on the lifestyle?''\n\n\tRyan shook his head and waved a paw ``Nah. We got something set up somewhere. Not that I imagine you'd ever want to see it. But Tootie has to take priority.''\n\n\t``Yuh huh. And what, you think her wandering down into a dungeon is gonna maybe cause her a few emotional scars?'' Justin knocked one of the tables down and began to aggressively work the familiar process to push its legs in. Once it was folded up he hauled it over next to the tabletops and began marching towards the next one.\n\n\tRyan huffed and rolled his eyes. ``Look, kid. I get it. I fucked up. I want to apologize. But I can't exactly do that if I don't know what's wrong.''\n\n\t``You don't know what's wrong?'' Justin snapped ``Really? With what you pulled you can't... you can't take a fucking guess?'' He hissed now. Realizing he was being too loud. Much as he really hated Ryan at this point the last thing anyone needed was the rest of the family to get involved.\n\n\tRyan seemed to pick up on this. The normally towering and overly aggressive ball of fur, fat and muscle seemed to even deflate a bit. An odd sight Justin wasn't sure how to deal with. ``Look. I have `some' idea. But only from asking Hui. You're not Hui. If you were then all this shit would have been fine with you, because I cleared it with her and she seemed to think you'd love it.''\n\n\t``With all due respect to my fiance'' Justin grumbled ``She's a porn-brained coomer who really should not be ok with as much as she is. You realize one of her favorite things is when I call her slurs during a session, right? She told you `conquered by a eurofur' is right up there with total power exchange and rape play on her list of shit she `really' likes?''\n\n\tThe bear man nodded his head slowly ``We went over a comprehensive list of kinks and limits, yeah.''\n\n\t``Ok so you know `she' likes borderline non-con. But you didn't ask me.'' Justin's voice drew an edge. He began pacing towards the other side of the room, then stopped. He didn't know why he was going there. He didn't know what he was doing, really. It felt more like his brain was short-circuiting. \n\n\t``It's not like I forced you down on your knees and made you join her.'' Ryan scoffed.\n\n\t``Yeah but `that' I wouldn't have minded!'' The otter boy saw the confused shock growing on his older cousin's face and rolled his eyes. ``Oh please. I know I didn't tell you this but I've been working as a sissy dominatrix for months now. How else am I supposed to at least finish my degree at Western?''\n\n\t``Yeah, but I'm your cousin.'' Ryan blinked\n\n\t``And I've fucked Hui and her brother, well sibling, at the same time. Quite a few times, in fact. Made em make out and everything. Probably the closest that spoiled brat has gotten to getting along with Hui in months. I know what it's like to sub, Ryan. I can switch when I need to. None of that is what I have a problem with. I thought you'd know that.''\n\n\tFor the first time in his life, Justin's image of Ryan as all knowing and unflappable cracked. The stunned expression really said it all. The shock, the confusion. At any other point in his life he'd probably feel bad about it. Apologetic and nervous. Now? Well it'd be a lie to say he didn't revel in it.\n\n\t``But fine, I'll tell you part of the problem right now. You seem to think I `need' some pop quiz. That you need to check and make sure I'm really going to stop it if it looks like someone else is freaking out or uncomfortable or being flat out raped?''\n\n\t``Yes!'' Ryan whisper growled ``Obviously.''\n\n\tJustin rolled his eyes and grumbled as he began kicking down another table ``Oh, well thanks for letting me know how much faith you have in me.'' He sighed.\n\n\t``No, I. I don't. Not like that.'' Ryan's growl faded a bit now. The small rumble of anger dimming. ``I know you're a good kid, Justin. I know you're a better person than me. A way better person than you give yourself credit for. I just figured if Gretchen and Hui were ok with it then it'd be better to make sure you know about the importance of limits. Most of what you know if from reading after all. Reading isn't experience. Plus, well, the temptation is always there. It's really easy as a sadist to just lose yourself in what you want. You need self discipline as much as anything.''\n\n\t``So you figured violating my consent was a good way to teach that.'' Justin spat. ``You figured I `needed' to remember...'' Suddenly it all hit him, and the poor otter boy found himself looking away. The anger had felt good, honestly. The rage. Part of him missed it. The irrational wild beast. The dumb kid with the hero complex jumping in and trying to beat down anyone who hurt his girl or his friend. It was comfortable, like an old shoe. Like his coat. Familiar and sheltering.\n\n\tIt left him unprepared for the feelings he had now. For what was there when all of that was stripped bare. He should have been over this. It should be ok. It wasn't a violent rape. Hell he'd made an `arrangement' with all of it. He'd ultimately benefited. So why was it he felt this way now? What was it he couldn't shake off?\n\n\t``Look.'' Ryan sighed. ``I'm not a good guy. I sure as fuck was never a good big cousin for you. I was some shitty, oblivious edge lord and I tried to use that to make you think I was cool. For god's sake I let you watch Berserk when you were seven. You have every right to be utterly pissed at me.''\n\n\t``And I am.'' Justin snapped. \n\n\t``I know you are.'' The bear sighed. I just hope some day you wont' be. Maybe I don't deserve that. But I'd like it. Maybe.''\n\n\tJustin didn't say anything else. He simply turned and began walking towards the stairs, then stopped. ``So where are the Legos?'' He called back\n\n\t``Three big totes. Door right to your right'' Ryan called back. Hope and morose regret blended in his voice.\n\n\tJustin nodded. No reason his bad mood should make anyone else suffer. At least the younger cousins could have a bit of fun today.\n\n",
  "writing_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Collared Chapter 46: Not So Thankful<br /><br />By TerraMGP<br /><br />\tThere was that song lyric. Something about a `Smokey room&#039; with the `smell of wine and cheap perfume&#039;. One of the more insufferable songs to come on the oldies station. That&#039;s how the club felt when it was closed. It was an odd thing about Ms. Dubois. The `Madame&#039; of the club was never one to put on airs. What would be pageantry for most was natural for her. Or if it wasn&#039;t, she did a damn good job of making it look that way. <br /><br />\tThe African dog wore her usual attire. A rubber evening gown with opera gloves. Thick stout dreads were locked in golden clasps at the tip and a long spindly cigarette holder clutched between two fingers as the smoke wafted up from it. One affectation Justin had, perhaps unwisely, taken up when he played the dominant role here.<br /><br />\tShe did not `play&#039; though. There was no role. This club was hers and she was every inch it&#039;s Mistress. She looked her wayward employee over for a few long moments. A glass of something Justin didn&#039;t recognize but presumed to be alcohol slipped effortlessly down her throat in one quick gulp. She then set her steely green eyes on him.<br /><br />\t``Look.&#039;&#039; The otter sighed. ``I&#039;m really sorry about-&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tA finger held up. The boy silenced instantly. She took a long, hard drag on the cigarette and blew the smoke into the air. Justin could feel a small tremble in the act Pent up frustration released like steam. ``I&#039;m not so stupid as to throw a fit when one of my workers is legitimately hospitalized. Even if it&#039;s simply for observation.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tJustin looked down at the note from his doctor. So much of that day was still missing. He knew Ozzy had driven him to the doctor because, well because there was no way he was paying for an ambulance. And because he was genuinely catatonic from the sounds of it. Or something. The cospay and premium increase from this were all he could think about when the doctor released him, and he&#039;d been made to schedule an appointment with his psych three weeks early on top of it all. That was the only way they&#039;d let him leave on his own recognizance. ``Still.&#039;&#039; He sighed ``I really am sorry. I know you said that the client was important.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``He is.&#039;&#039; Ms. Dubois noted ``And next time you&#039;ll be giving him a particularly good show, if you catch my meaning. That is if you want to keep working here. But again I am not stupid enough to think a boy at the cusp of a mental collapse is magically going to produce the kind of refined sissitrix I was expecting to offer up to our guest. No service is better than bad service for people like us, Justine.&#039;&#039; Her words cool, almost cold. The words of a teacher with thinning patience. ``I trust that&#039;s something you will remember.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Yeah. I got it.&#039;&#039; He whimpered, slipping a bit into his girl voice on instinct from the name.<br /><br />\t``Good.&#039;&#039; She nodded ``In the meantime, I expect you to re-evaluate a few things. You don&#039;t have to worry about the weekend. I&#039;d hardly take any client desperate enough to come to us on Thanks Giving, and I&#039;ve found the day after is a headache almost as bad. For now simply get yourself sorted. Understand?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tHe nodded wordlessly and did his best not to sigh. It felt wrong to leave without saying anything else. But what could he do? Justin had gone and fucked things up yet again.<br /><br />--------------------<br /><br />\t``You ok sweetie?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tJustin blinked and gazed at his mother, quirking his brow a bit as he looked at the familiar smiling face with her near permanent expression of concern. He caused that. He inflicted that on her. Even if nobody said it, he knew it. Justin sighed and shook his head. ``Just thinking about things still, mom.&#039;&#039; the young man said with his best attempt at a nonchalant smirk. Not his usual one. Not one that was ever going to be convincing. It was just the best he had.<br /><br />\tMuch of the family was gathered. His parents, naturally. Cousins both first and second were mixed between those playing on the floor or in other rooms, or those that had decided to brave the horrific chill of early snow. Aunts and uncles, both great and regular, were divided between the living room and kitchen. `Regressive&#039; as it was the women did tend to do most of the work for thanks givings among the Lockhart clan. This being Naqi&#039;s house, she was the one that should in theory set the tone. In truth it was probably his great aunts all squabbling. Which was also why his grandmother was out in the living room right now with them. As invested as the rest of the family with the football game going on before them.<br /><br />\tHis mother was there, too. Understandable for a woman who&#039;d just given birth for the second time less than a month ago. She was just finishing up with feeding Molly while with one foot she helped Hui and Tootie by kicking Tootie&#039;s little plastic ball full of shaped blocks out for her to crawl after and grab.<br /><br />\tIt was busy. Frankly a part of Justin wanted to find some place to hide from it. After what he&#039;d been though, after what he&#039;d done. It was especially hard looking his parents in the face. It would be one thing if they were mad at him. But for some reason the subject had yet to come up even once.<br /><br />\t``Your girl is gonna be a good mom someday.&#039;&#039; Grandma Lockhart snickered. The elderly ursine woman at the back end of her 60s offered a warm smile down to the chipper red panda girl. She&#039;d always liked Hui. Always approved of her. For her the romance that the young woman shared with her grandson was probably something straight out of some cheesy 70s love song.<br /><br />\tYeah, Gramma didn&#039;t need to know about Gretchen. Or anything else the three of them got up to.<br /><br />\t``Kid&#039;s already a few steps up on me.&#039;&#039; Justin&#039;s father snickered. ``Both of em really. Don&#039;t get me wrong I agree with you, Ma. But I&#039;m hoping lil Molly will at least be in school by the time she has a baby niece or nephew running around.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Well if she&#039;s anything like her mother, good luck getting her to go. Meredith was always fighting to stay home with me when she was in Kindergarten. Always felt like some of the kids were picking on her. Especially some of the boys.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tJohn threw up his hands and leaned back into the couch in as passive a state as he could muster. ``Hey now don&#039;t look at me. I was always super nice to your daughter.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Yuh huh. Like when you and your little friends pelted her with water balloons while she was gardening for me&#039;&#039; the grandmother&#039;s eyes narrowing to sharp, playful slits.<br /><br />\t``Come on that&#039;s not fair. We did that to everyone. My dad got us a whole bunch of cheap balloons. It was summer. What were we supposed to do? Stay inside and play Pokemon?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``You would have if your parents let you.&#039;&#039; Meredith chimed in. ``Then you turn around and complain at Justin for never going outside. Did you know this man used to sit up bragging about how he&#039;d stay up all night watching Space Ghost, Coast to Coast? In Third Grade! Then he&#039;d pass out on his desk and end up in the principals office.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``It&#039;s not my fault we had cable&#039;&#039; John huffed ``You&#039;re the one who kept making her friends watch that sea of VHS tapes.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tMeredith rolled her eyes and glanced down at Hui. An exaggerated look of exhaustion spreading over her face. ``You sure you still wanna go through with this, dear? Nobody is forcing you to get hitched, you know.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``And what&#039;s that supposed to mean?&#039;&#039; Justin snapped. He meant it to be playful. His mother at least seemed to take it that way based on her expression. But it didn&#039;t feel that way. Both mother and son let it drop as he sank back into the couch and watched his girlfriend trying not to laugh at her future mother-in-law.<br /><br />\t``Come here Tootie. Come to Jeijei!&#039;&#039; Hui held out her arms and waggled her fingers. All the while the tiny bundle of bounce-mouse simply rocked forwards and backwards precariously close to the bookshelf. Her fuzzy-tipped tail whipping around uncontrollably and her little paws smacking the hard wood floor now and then.<br /><br />\tIt quickly became too much to take. With the family looking on and laughing Hui swooped in and scoped the girl up into her arms. The rubberized white pads of Tootie&#039;s red footie Pjs flailed in excitement the way only a kangaroo mouse girl&#039;s could. The little cub rocked and flailed in her babysitter&#039;s arms while the bulk of the Lockhart family looked on. <br /><br />\t``She really is good with her, huh?&#039;&#039; Grandma Lockhart snickered. ``A bit too cautious, though. Reminds me of how Meredith was with Justin.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Justin kept getting himself hurt, mother.&#039;&#039; Meredith sighed. Her gaze turned to her now-adult son and she let an oddly nostalgic smile cut her mask of concern. ``Do you remember how often the poor boy would get his finger slammed in the car door? He doesn&#039;t have the same sensation other people do. What if Tootie is the same way?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tThe ursine matron sighed and shrugged. ``He turned out just fine by my estimation. My number one Grandson is a tough guy. Right, Justin?&#039;&#039; <br /><br />\t``Right, Grandma&#039;&#039; Justin nodded a bit and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Before he could say more Justin felt his mother slipping Molly&#039;s twitchy sleeping form into his arms. The little otter baby had already started sporting some fluffy golden headfur. The poor thing twitched and flailed a bit. Justin had to stop her pacifier from slipping out of her mouth a few times. Or maybe he was just worried it would. A look down at Hui and he could see the same concern. She scooted herself against the couch right in front of him while bouncing the bounce-mouse and letting little Tootie jump on those still unsteady legs.<br /><br />\tThe term made him a bit uncomfortable. `Number One Grandson&#039;. Their family was a bit wonky after all. His grandmother was Becky and Sherry&#039;s aunt. Ryan&#039;s dad was the oldest of these siblings but his own Grandma had been the only one to have a child in her teens whereas the others all waited until later. With the less said about his bio-grandpa the better. Hence Grandma using the name even after remarrying.<br /><br />\tIt was exhausting, and confusing to anyone outside of the family. But the worst part of that dynamic was one that would have thrilled him even a year ago. Great Grandma Lockhart always called Ryan her number one Grandson. He `was&#039; the first one after all. Also probably the only one of her grandsons to keep close by and in contact since so many of them were scattered now. He was her baby in a lot of ways. She&#039;d helped raise him the way she had many of them. She doted on him. He&#039;d gotten the farmhouse for a reason after all. <br /><br />\tLook how that had made him turn out.<br /><br />\t``You ok, sweetie?&#039;&#039; His grandmother&#039;s voice snapped him back to reality. The otter&#039;s ears flicked and his rudder tail thumped into the groove in the couch before he could consciously say anything. Not that he knew what to say. <br /><br />\t``He&#039;s probably just a little on edge.&#039;&#039; His father chimed in, reaching over to give his son a shoulder-hug. ``Living on your own is a lot to deal with. Especially when you&#039;re just starting out.&#039;&#039; The pride on his father&#039;s face stung. It wasn&#039;t a mask. It&#039;d be so much fucking easier if it had been. If his dad had been ashamed. If he was struggling to hide how bad Justin had already fucked up. He could have, and should have, mentioned the breakdown. Mentioned how `he&#039; didn&#039;t collapse under the weight of fatherhood at 17, so why is Justin struggling with fucking shopping and work shit at 19? Why is this ungrateful little waterdog pup squandering the chance his parents gave him to get more than they had? He was botching it, and his dad refused to call him out on it!<br /><br />\t``Well, Great Gramma Lockhart is upstairs napping in the guest room, sweetie.&#039;&#039; His grandma smiled. ``But if you need to lay down I&#039;m sure we could ask Ryan or Naqi if you can use their room. I know you&#039;re going though a lot right now. It&#039;s ok.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I&#039;m fine, Grandma.&#039;&#039; He sighed as he glanced down at his little sister. The sleeping little bundle of one-month-old who should have been the focus of his parents lives. The one who not only deserved but `needed&#039; their attention. She was so helpless and small. She had a life ahead of her and he was eating up resources that should go to her. God knew that their premiums would probably go up due to his little mental snap. 24 hours of observation couldn&#039;t be cheap.<br /><br />\t``I&#039;m fine, Gramma&#039; he sighed. ``Besides I don&#039;t wanna move Molly. I&#039;m not sure what I&#039;d do with her if she woke up.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Same thing you&#039;re doing now.&#039;&#039; His uncle Great Doug chimed in. The scrawny and somewhat nerdy looking badger man with his graying red hair, the Patagonia fleece and Apple watch, looked up from his place on the far end of the long couch and offered a confident smile. ``Babies really aren&#039;t that hard. Once you get over the worry that you&#039;ll hurt them if you move too much their needs are all pretty simple. Bottle of milk, burp, change, hold, sleep. Granted it&#039;s pretty exhausting having to remote call at work at two AM when you have to be in to the office at nine and you can&#039;t set the little thing down because she&#039;s just fallen asleep and won&#039;t sleep soundly in her crib.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tHe was trying to be snaky. Uncle Doug wasn&#039;t good at snaky. Becky had absolutely gotten it from her mom. His heart was in the right place, though. It was almost enough to help Justin forget how nervous he was holding his baby sis in his arms. How fragile she felt and how utterly unequipped for any of this he was.<br /><br />\tThe fact that Hui had been playing caretaker to Tootie since summer ended just spoke volumes to how utterly amazing his woman was.<br /><br />\tEventually, mercifully, he let himself slip back into his seat and zone out while everyone else watched the sports ball people slam into each other in a sports ball kind of way. It wasn&#039;t any less inane now that he was an `adult&#039;. Now that he&#039;d passed so many of the tenuous rites of passage society had set out for people like him. He tried to focus on it anyways, though. Just to have something to dull the pain and stress.<br /><br />\tThat kept up for a while. Though the hustle and bustle of people in the kitchen arguing. His mother and great aunts who had all forced themselves into the more traditional role of working on dinner bickering with each other amid a sea of what was probably food they had mostly made at home anyways. The sound of those in the living room talking about the people on the screen, who he didn&#039;t know, and their stats with all of the fervor of him talking about his 40K army. It all eventually reached the point of white noise. Reached a point where he didn&#039;t notice any individual thing around him. Not until a heavy paw gripped his shoulder from behind.<br /><br />\t``Hey kid.&#039;&#039; The voice familiar. One that brought him a moment of reflexive joy, then agonized rejection. ``Oh, sorry I didn&#039;t see you had Molly. Listen, I hate to ask but you mind helping me out a bit? I was trying to move some stuff around so the kids could do Legos in the big room.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I mean I would&#039;&#039; Justin muttered bitterly ``But, well&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``It&#039;s ok, son.&#039;&#039; His father carefully and gently pulled the little bundle of fuzz into his own arms. Somehow, remarkably, managing to avoid waking her in the process. ``I know you&#039;re not exactly thrilled to watch us have a shot at winning this game anyways. Probably good to stretch your legs some.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tIt wasn&#039;t right to be pissed at his dad. He knew this. The old man was smiling a big beaming smile as he gestured for Justin to go on ahead. It shouldn&#039;t piss him off. But Justin simply couldn&#039;t help it. He felt that surge of `teenage rage&#039; as he pulled himself up. It was all he could do to hide it as he slipped around Hui and over towards the stairwell. The young otter clenching his body as if to lid off the molten roil of simmering anger deep in his gut.<br /><br />--------------------<br /><br />\t``I thought I had all your Legos.&#039;&#039; Justin muttered to himself while his feet hammered the stairs. He&#039;d fallen down them a few times in the past. One misplaced heel causing him to slide down them on his back when he was younger. It was enough to get him to hold the railing. Not enough for him to slow down. Not now.<br /><br />\t``All my old Lego sets, sure.&#039;&#039; Ryan snickered ``You seem to forget you can still buy more of them as an adult.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``I guess I wouldn&#039;t know.&#039;&#039; Justin&#039;s foot hit the cold cement at the bottom of the stairs and he looked deeper into the basement. He paused. He wasn&#039;t quite sure why. Taking in the differences? Preparing to run? His mind and body were both screaming from the stress of simply being down here and yet neither one seemed to know how to properly react. The end result put his nervous system at loggerheads and left him struggling to avoid any trembling or other signs of weakness.<br /><br />\t``Looks better, right?&#039;&#039; Ryan blew past him. The well toned ursine man with the scraggly, bottle black goth-metal hair showed no signs of acknowledging Justin&#039;s distress. Instead he made his way though what were once simple stone walls leading in to a pair of coal-turned-storage rooms. It was all dry walled off now. Painted a sickeningly simple white with the barn doors leading to the storage rooms having been cleanly refinished and oiled to keep the character of the wood. <br /><br />\tIt was the big room at the end which shocked him most, though. Gone were all the trappings of some sinister home Dungeon. The throne, the hand made bondage furniture, the racks of switches and leather gear and other things who&#039;s purpose he&#039;d only be able to guess at. Instead there were tables. A smattering of cheap folding tables set up in one corner. Each of them set with a foam block, carved and cut and painted into some semblance of a landscape. Two of them were unfinished. One a quarter-full of city scape scaled up for 40K. Another a desert with trees that Justin instantly realized were scaled more for Battletech. Nearby a small hip-height wall had been built and a set of dividers made of metal dowel dividers with a trio of untouched foam planks slotted into them, waiting to be pulled out and worked into a new battlefield.<br /><br />\t``So what&#039;s wrong? You decide playing against your Imperial Knights was more punishment than anything else?&#039;&#039; The joke was shit, but Justin snorted at it anyways. Not proud of himself persay. He&#039;d just be damned if he gave Ryan any satisfaction.<br /><br />\tUnfortunately Ryan didn&#039;t seem phased. He gestured over to the other end of the first table. When Justin was in place he grabbed one end of the table and smiled that insufferable smile. ``ok then, one. Two. Three&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tUp went the tabletop, and without a word the two men got the light but fragile thing slotted into place next to the others. It wasn&#039;t heavy. Even Hui likely could have moved it by herself. But probably not without causing damage to the thing. Much as Justin hated his big cousin, he respected the hobby too much to let that happen.<br /><br />\t``You already saw us switching it over before, kid. This is just the end result.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``So, what?&#039;&#039; Justin scoffed ``Giving up on the lifestyle?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tRyan shook his head and waved a paw ``Nah. We got something set up somewhere. Not that I imagine you&#039;d ever want to see it. But Tootie has to take priority.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Yuh huh. And what, you think her wandering down into a dungeon is gonna maybe cause her a few emotional scars?&#039;&#039; Justin knocked one of the tables down and began to aggressively work the familiar process to push its legs in. Once it was folded up he hauled it over next to the tabletops and began marching towards the next one.<br /><br />\tRyan huffed and rolled his eyes. ``Look, kid. I get it. I fucked up. I want to apologize. But I can&#039;t exactly do that if I don&#039;t know what&#039;s wrong.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``You don&#039;t know what&#039;s wrong?&#039;&#039; Justin snapped ``Really? With what you pulled you can&#039;t... you can&#039;t take a fucking guess?&#039;&#039; He hissed now. Realizing he was being too loud. Much as he really hated Ryan at this point the last thing anyone needed was the rest of the family to get involved.<br /><br />\tRyan seemed to pick up on this. The normally towering and overly aggressive ball of fur, fat and muscle seemed to even deflate a bit. An odd sight Justin wasn&#039;t sure how to deal with. ``Look. I have `some&#039; idea. But only from asking Hui. You&#039;re not Hui. If you were then all this shit would have been fine with you, because I cleared it with her and she seemed to think you&#039;d love it.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``With all due respect to my fiance&#039;&#039; Justin grumbled ``She&#039;s a porn-brained coomer who really should not be ok with as much as she is. You realize one of her favorite things is when I call her slurs during a session, right? She told you `conquered by a eurofur&#039; is right up there with total power exchange and rape play on her list of shit she `really&#039; likes?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tThe bear man nodded his head slowly ``We went over a comprehensive list of kinks and limits, yeah.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Ok so you know `she&#039; likes borderline non-con. But you didn&#039;t ask me.&#039;&#039; Justin&#039;s voice drew an edge. He began pacing towards the other side of the room, then stopped. He didn&#039;t know why he was going there. He didn&#039;t know what he was doing, really. It felt more like his brain was short-circuiting. <br /><br />\t``It&#039;s not like I forced you down on your knees and made you join her.&#039;&#039; Ryan scoffed.<br /><br />\t``Yeah but `that&#039; I wouldn&#039;t have minded!&#039;&#039; The otter boy saw the confused shock growing on his older cousin&#039;s face and rolled his eyes. ``Oh please. I know I didn&#039;t tell you this but I&#039;ve been working as a sissy dominatrix for months now. How else am I supposed to at least finish my degree at Western?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Yeah, but I&#039;m your cousin.&#039;&#039; Ryan blinked<br /><br />\t``And I&#039;ve fucked Hui and her brother, well sibling, at the same time. Quite a few times, in fact. Made em make out and everything. Probably the closest that spoiled brat has gotten to getting along with Hui in months. I know what it&#039;s like to sub, Ryan. I can switch when I need to. None of that is what I have a problem with. I thought you&#039;d know that.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tFor the first time in his life, Justin&#039;s image of Ryan as all knowing and unflappable cracked. The stunned expression really said it all. The shock, the confusion. At any other point in his life he&#039;d probably feel bad about it. Apologetic and nervous. Now? Well it&#039;d be a lie to say he didn&#039;t revel in it.<br /><br />\t``But fine, I&#039;ll tell you part of the problem right now. You seem to think I `need&#039; some pop quiz. That you need to check and make sure I&#039;m really going to stop it if it looks like someone else is freaking out or uncomfortable or being flat out raped?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``Yes!&#039;&#039; Ryan whisper growled ``Obviously.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tJustin rolled his eyes and grumbled as he began kicking down another table ``Oh, well thanks for letting me know how much faith you have in me.&#039;&#039; He sighed.<br /><br />\t``No, I. I don&#039;t. Not like that.&#039;&#039; Ryan&#039;s growl faded a bit now. The small rumble of anger dimming. ``I know you&#039;re a good kid, Justin. I know you&#039;re a better person than me. A way better person than you give yourself credit for. I just figured if Gretchen and Hui were ok with it then it&#039;d be better to make sure you know about the importance of limits. Most of what you know if from reading after all. Reading isn&#039;t experience. Plus, well, the temptation is always there. It&#039;s really easy as a sadist to just lose yourself in what you want. You need self discipline as much as anything.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``So you figured violating my consent was a good way to teach that.&#039;&#039; Justin spat. ``You figured I `needed&#039; to remember...&#039;&#039; Suddenly it all hit him, and the poor otter boy found himself looking away. The anger had felt good, honestly. The rage. Part of him missed it. The irrational wild beast. The dumb kid with the hero complex jumping in and trying to beat down anyone who hurt his girl or his friend. It was comfortable, like an old shoe. Like his coat. Familiar and sheltering.<br /><br />\tIt left him unprepared for the feelings he had now. For what was there when all of that was stripped bare. He should have been over this. It should be ok. It wasn&#039;t a violent rape. Hell he&#039;d made an `arrangement&#039; with all of it. He&#039;d ultimately benefited. So why was it he felt this way now? What was it he couldn&#039;t shake off?<br /><br />\t``Look.&#039;&#039; Ryan sighed. ``I&#039;m not a good guy. I sure as fuck was never a good big cousin for you. I was some shitty, oblivious edge lord and I tried to use that to make you think I was cool. For god&#039;s sake I let you watch Berserk when you were seven. You have every right to be utterly pissed at me.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\t``And I am.&#039;&#039; Justin snapped. <br /><br />\t``I know you are.&#039;&#039; The bear sighed. I just hope some day you wont&#039; be. Maybe I don&#039;t deserve that. But I&#039;d like it. Maybe.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />\tJustin didn&#039;t say anything else. He simply turned and began walking towards the stairs, then stopped. ``So where are the Legos?&#039;&#039; He called back<br /><br />\t``Three big totes. Door right to your right&#039;&#039; Ryan called back. Hope and morose regret blended in his voice.<br /><br />\tJustin nodded. No reason his bad mood should make anyone else suffer. At least the younger cousins could have a bit of fun today.<br /><br /></span>",
  "pools_count": 1,
  "title": "Collared Chapter 46: Not So Thankful",
  "deleted": "f",
  "public": "t",
  "mimetype": "application/msword",
  "pagecount": "1",
  "rating_id": "2",
  "rating_name": "Adult",
  "ratings": [
    {
      "content_tag_id": "4",
      "name": "Sexual Themes",
      "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal",
      "rating_id": "2"
    }
  ],
  "submission_type_id": "12",
  "type_name": "Writing - Document",
  "guest_block": "t",
  "friends_only": "f",
  "comments_count": "0",
  "views": "77"
}