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So sorry if this ends up feeling like 'filler'. I do like it though", "description_bbcode_parsed": "A little bit of date time, and probably not how you would expect it.

I know how this series will probably end but right now I'm just letting the character actions guide me. So sorry if this ends up feeling like 'filler'. I do like it though", "writing": "Collared Chapter 25: Changes\nBy TerraMGP\n\n\tKalamazoo wasn’t that far from home for Becky. Hell, Justin had been making trips back home for a while now and he actually had to worry about gas money.\n\n\tIt made the young badger girl wonder just what had taken her so long in doing this. Except she knew why. She also knew why she was going up now. \n\n\tCollin.\n\n\tBeky had attempted to use Xiulan more. It was best to get used to the name after all. Except it was hard. She’d known Collin. She’d grown up with Collin. The dorky older borther of her best friend. The annoying crybaby she ended up protecting more than he seemed to realize, especially when it came to going out in the woods. That cute, shy, awkard boy that nobody noticed unless they were shoving him around. Even then they would notice her idiot cousin more because he always had to come in and try to save the day.\n\n\tIn the end, though, Collin wasn’t the wrong name to use. At least not when they were in boy mode. It was a gender fluid thing, and apparently part of Collin or Xiulan figuring out if they were indeed trans, or cis, or fluid full on.\n\n\tRegardless, they were something special, and Becky was realizing she couldn’t simply ignore that for now and come back when she was ready. Because someone else realized that too. Someone who would do anything to abuse poor Collin and use that cute wimp before tossing them to the curb.\n\n\t“Jesus fucking Christ.” Becky sighed “I sound like Justin.”\n\n\tThree days, or at least most of three days. That was how long she had. Justin was letting her crash at his place, and he had promised her parents she’d be as safe as possible. Which, aside from that Willa girl talking her ear off and invading her personal space, was probably true.\n\n\tShe hadn’t told her parents the reason for coming up, though. The reason she was currently sitting there in front of an unfamiliar box of dorm rooms with her eyes glued to the door. \n\n\tThe figure who eventually marched out was the real reason. A cutely androgynous red panda in a heavy looking fall sweater and jeans. Ok. Boy mode. Collin. That made things just a tiny bit easeir. Becky reached over and struggled her way over, popping open the passenger side door and shoving it part way open with every inch her fingeritps would give her.\n\n\tCollin smirked and slipped in. Instantly the boy wrapped around Becky’s neck in a massive hug. The smell of Cinnamon Apple and something else she could not quite place all blended together in her sinuses while Becky hugged him back and gave a few nerous back pats back.\n\n\tThe hug broke, and then Collin smiled wide. Out from a pocket came an elasti hair band with a pair of big plastic balls resembling cherries at either end. In one quick motion the red panda had bunched up a tuft of hair and wrapped the ornamentation around it. Just like that, things had changed.\n\n\t“Oh… So, Xiulan.” Becky muttered. Already she felt guilty about how bad she made it sound.\n\n\t“You got it.” Xi nodded\n\n\t“Well ok then.” Becky nodded “Let’s get this date started.”\n\n--------------------\n\n\tA surprise. That was what Xiulan had called it.\n\n\tIt wasn’t some boxed up gift as Becky had expected. It wasn’t even a resteraunt. That’s what she’d thought at first when Xi had put the address in and let her phone guide them. Now they were here. Sitting in a half-dirt parking lot behind a tattoo parlor.\n\n\tWas Xi looking to get a tattoo? Was that supposed to be the ‘surprise’? They weren’t to that point in a relationship yet. Not even close. Even if they were she wasn’t quite sure she’d want her to get something like some ‘mark’ or the like. Or worse, was she expecting Becky to get one? Maybe even matching ones? Becky was over thinking so hard she didn’t even notice Xiulan pulling herself out of the car and making her way towards the back of the store. Or rather, making her way towards a cement stiarway leading under the store.\n\n\t“Hey, wait!” The shortish badger spilled out of the car and fumbled the door closed behind her. Xiulan was standing there with an impish smile looking back at Becky, tail waving side to side. The most painful, childish faux-innocence one could imagine. Enough brat that Becky was half way to smacking her before realizing that might be what Xi wanted. So instead she straightned up. She wasn’t going to do that. She was better than that. At least, she was pretty sure.\n\n\t“Sorry. I thought you were right there behind me.” Xiulan lilted.\n\n\t“No you didn’t.” Becky snapped. “\n\n\t“Sure I did.” Xi cooed. She didn’t miss a step making her way down the stairs. She had far more confidence than Bekcy. The image of a younger Collin flashed though Becky’s mind. OF a scrawny, wimpy, whiny Red Panda boy cowering and nearly crying at the sight of pricker bushes grown up around the path to the creek. A poor boy ready to burst into tears as Justin and Hui alternately teased and comforted him as they tried to coax him past the mundane obstical.\n\n\tShe remembered her own snickering. Back then Collin was little more than an occasional tag-along. At least where she and Hui were concerned. Had Becky really always found his cowardace so god damn cute? Was he feeling the same way looking at her?\n\n\tShe answered herself the only way she could while saving face. Becky pushed herself past Collin and grabbed the door, yanking hard with the full intention of flinging it wide open. Instead it stuck. Xiulan moved up beside her and knocked. Only then was there movement behind the door. A small hatch sliding open, and the blue eyes behind it flicking between them.\n\n\t“Oh, it’s you” An unfamiliar French accent laiden with contempt. The hatch slammed shut, and then the door flung open. The girl behind it matched the voice to a comedic degree. A light furred pine marten in a maid unfiorm with bottle black hair. She didn’t say a word. Instead she just began to march her way down the foreboding brick hallway. Her tail thwishing with a barely contained aggression that made Becky feel almost like apologizing each time.\n\n\tThe girl didn’t give her a chance, though. Instead she simply led the two though to a set of heavy looking metal doors spaced out evenly on either end of a hallway. The whole thing looked like a prison setup. Or\n\n\t“A dungeon.”\n\n\tNo sooner had Becky siad the words than Xiulan shoved into her and grinned the biggest, most wicked, most self satisfied grin one could imagine.\n\n\t“Surprise!” Xi cooed\n\n\t“A dungeon. You brought me to a dungeon. Xi… how on earth did you even find a dungeon?” Becky begged her brain to stop saying dungeon. She then cast her eyes to the even more unimpressed looking maid woman. \n\n\t They moved past her and into the room. A mix of bondage furniture and racks of sex toys, most of which were of the type that thankfully didn’t require that much cleaning and sterilization. Assuming someone was acutally going to do such a thing.\n\n\tThe door slammed shut behind them and Xiulan was quick to scamper her way over to a wardrobe set up in the corner. She opened it, revealing a plethora of cheap outfits only a step up from Spirit Halloween fare. \n\n\t“So, what exactly are you doing?” Becky sighed\n\n\t“I want you to pick out what I should wear for our session, Miss.” Xiulan’s tone shifted to something resembling dutiful. She smiled and offered up a nice little bow\n\n\t“No, dumbass. I mean this. All of this. Why the hell are we here? Doesn’t this shit cost money? And how did you even find it?”\n\n\t“This is where Justin works, Miss.” The dutiful tone not breaking for a second. Xi had seemingly gone from haughty to servile with no regonition of how fucking creepy it was. “As for rates, they really aren’t that bad. It took a bit of saving up but it’s a special gift. So it’s worth splurging a little bit.”\n\n\tThis all seemed like more than a little bit. This felt a lot more like ‘new Playstation’ money. But it was money already spent so who was she to complain? Instead she stepped forwards and picked out a trashy fetish maid outfit which looked like it’d fit right in with any anime out there. \n\n\t“Good choi-oof” Xi winced with the clotehs shoved against her.\n\n\t“There, go change.” Becky huffed the words angrily. \n\n\tThe bratty smile returned to Xi’s lips a moment. Her ears twitched a touch and she swayed her hips every so slightly “Don’t you want to get comfortable first, Miss?” Xiulan cooed\n\n\t“Get comfy?” Becky stiffened up even as she asked the question. She knew what Xi was saking. Xi wanted her to watch. She wanted Bekcy to see her change. The blush from a short while ago came back and grew until she was positive she’d pass out. It was taking all she had to keep her composure and truth be told she was failry sure she was losing it fast.\n\n\tShe should have argued. Hell it may have even helped her aassert herself. But no. Instead Becky Parker did what she felt she had to do. Instead she was doing the only thing she could think to do. She made her way to the throne. The most obvious landmark bit of furniture in the room. A boxy unpainted chair made of wood, heavy slats lined up to joint in with each other in a way that looked old and brutal. The only thing to make it look at all inviting was a simple black boxy cushion.\n\n\tExcept it wasn’t a cushion. It was too rigid and clearly not made of cloth. She picked up the box and looked it over a moment. It was a clothing box. That much was obvious. Even with all of her attempts to dismiss her ‘rich kid’ roots Becky knew what these sorts of thigns were. It was also big, and heavy. She turned to Xi who wasn’t even trying to feign ignorance or innocence.\n\n\t“Well” The girl squealed “Open it.”\n\n\tOpen it. As if it was the most obvious thing in the world. As if she should have expected this. The idea that Xi had gotten her a’ gift’ like this was already enough to push Becky to the edge of walking out. It felt akward. It felt wrong. It felt like she was somehow taking advantage. Whatever was in this box? Xi would just have to take it back.\n\n\t“Oh, fuck.” The box opened, and every thought she had shattered. Becky looked in awe at the object before her. A corset. An actual, legit corset. Molded of leather, dyed in deep forest greens and earthy red-browns. She felt the object drop from her fingertips. Was barely aware of her body picking it up. Some other her did the actual movement. She was barely a passanger at this point. She scanned over the shiny silvery buckles. The exquisite carving and engraving. Would something like this even fit her? Would she even know how to wear it?\n\n\tIt only got worse from there. Becky noticed more. A set of gloves, and under that a set of boots. The gloves elbow length and boots easily long enough to reach up her thighs. How much did this cost? How much could this cost? How could Xiulan even know?\n\n\t“Hui told me.” Xi chirped the answer before Becky could even ask. “I didn’t tell her what I was getting you but I said it was something, and she does have all of our measurements on file.”\n\n\t“I am just now realizing how creepy that is.” Becky sighed. It was also flattering. Thoguhtful, even. To think that her… whatever they were… would be though tful enough to ask about all of this. The question To a point where the two blended and she wasn’t quite sure how she should feel.\n\n\t“You can’t return these, I’m guessing.” Becky’s finger drawing along some of the taught leather.\n\n\t“No Miss” Xi’s tone was horribly even. “The lady at the Renfaire had a very strict no returns policy.”\n\n\t“Figures. And I’m guessing you’re hoping I’ll wear this, then?”\n\n\t“Well you did pick out mine, Miss.” Xiulan cooed a sing song and swayed again. She was still hugging the maid outfit to her chest. \n\n\tThe leather was so different than anything she was used to. Stiff and supple at the same time. The inside lined with soft velvety faux fur… or peraps it was real fur. It was it had a shine more dull than the latex and rubber she’d been looking at lately. The weight, though. It was the wight that really sold it for her.\n\n\tThere was no ceremony in Bekcy’s undressing. She didn’t even particularly bother to check back and see if Xiulan was looking. Off came her tee shirt and then her belt with a rough almost painful yank. That aggressive part of her. The part of her that was pissed, all of her anger came out when she kicked her jeans away and followed it quickly by shoving down her panties nad tripping out of them.\n\n\tWhen Becky Parker finally thudded into the throne she felt anything but a dominant. No queen. No goddess. She just felt like hitting something, or someone, and didn’t care who. Anything to help make these unfamiliar feelings go away.\n\n\tIt was a while after that before she calmed down. Her chest heaved as she began. First came the boots. Stiff and sturdy yet supple at the same time. Her legs, chunky and boxy as they were, felt elegant for perhaps the first time. Fur and fat and muscle all squeezed into a long and almost luxurious shape. It hurt like a bitch, especially with the pressure needed for each buckle to clasp. It was also uncomfortably stiff and strong. So much that the mere act of bending her leg was something of a chore. But it was worth it. Vain as it was, Becky loved the way it all looked.\n\n\tThe gloves came next. A much bigger fuss. She’d seen how rubber worked. She’d even looked up how that was supposed to go on. This wasn’t rubber. This didn’t go on the same way. No powder to help her. The fur lining made little static crackles with her own fur. It squeezed in the same way with only a single buckle strap just below each shoulder to keep the min place. \n\n\tThose, naturally, were the prelude.\n\n\tThis wasn’t as soft a corset. Once again straps and the cloth she would have expected was in short supply. At the same time it wasn’t the kind of thing designed to give a girl a wasp waste from the looks of it. A good thing for someone who always felt she looked more like a potato made of brick. She pulled the corest, or perhaps bodace, or whatever the nomenclature might be, up against her chest . Only at that point did she realize her bra was still on. Anotehr obstical which now required her to fumble though the tiny plastic straps using the new gloves.. When it was free she instead felt the leadtehr seat properly just under her chest. It wasn’t a perfect fit. Far from it. Some things felt almost as if they poked. Some things somehow felt loose. It was hard to say exactly where since every time she moved those aspects seemed to shift just a touch.\n\n\tShe wasn’t able to fasten all of the buckles by herself. However the ones she could manage did keep the thing on. A lewd bit of clothing doing little to hide her not-so-modest chest. If anything it made her breasts more pronounced. Not really something the teen looked for herself. But in the moment it felt as right as the tight stiff grip of the leatehr on her limbs or the way her body stood at near attention, stood in a position of ‘authority’.\n\n\tOne last peace remained. A thong. An open crotch thong clearly made to match the outfit. There was a temptation to put it on. But not now. Not yet.\n\n\t“Ok. I need your help now.” The words took every shred of breath the badger had. The saner part of her worried about how much worse it was about to get.the rest of her tingled with the excitement.\n\n\tNo sooner had she made the demand than Xiulan was there. Kneeling down like a delicate little handmaidne, she began to fasten and tug on the buckles. Each one took away a bit more of the free space. It also drew a surprised moan. Her whole body now held, trapped in that leather shell. A sexy, beautiful woman having taken her plain boring place.\n\n\t“Is that satisfactory, ma’am?” Xiulan knelt at those botos now. She leaned down and kissed the top of each one. Her tail bristled up and ass remained in the air but the rest of her looked every bit the perfect picture of dimure obedient submission.\n\n\t“I suppose it will do.” Becky’s tone had become more harsh and forwards. She paced to one of the toy racks and reached a trembling paw towards a stout riding crop. The rod cut the air pleasingly. It felt right twisting it down into the leather pad wrapped about her paw. It did feel like she should do more. As if there should be some more reverence or gravity to the tool while she inspected it. Or maybe she simply wanted to ride the high of being someone else. Someone stronger. Someone better able to guide her cute pet. To make Xiulan into her cute pet.\n\n\t“Enough stalling.” Becky muttered to herself, though it could have easily been mistaken for a comment to Xi. Becky paced her way over towards the throne and slipped down into it. One stubby yet somehow supple leg crossed the other. Her body leaned back to leave her womanhood on full display for the scheming wah.\n\n\t“Well then, I’m dressed.” Becky huffed “It’s about time you do the same.”\n\n\tThere was an argument to be made for the strip tease being sensual. If someone was going to judge that it wasn’t Becky Parker. She was more nervous than anything while watching the femmy red panda slowly wriggling and writhing out of a long sleeve shirt. It might have been the kind of thing a person saw at a strip show, maybe. The way Xi puffed up her cute flat chest as if a pair of huge bolt-on tits rested there. The way she wriggled her hips out of her unflattering jeans. \n\n\tThe movements by themselves looked dumb. Over wrought and silly. But the sight of that cute little butt and Bevky’s first real look at that tiny little cock.\n\n\tShe’d seen it before, naturally. Seen it sometimes in those shows Xi would put on. A swollen little coinpurse for balls and a cutely semi-limp cock. Now here they were. For her. Hovering and swaying and swishing before her eyes. Xi got a bit harder every few moments but never seemed to get properly erect.\n\n\tBecky found herself biting the orner of her lip while ust watching it sway under that sexy abuse target of a butt. She felt the crop grinding into her palm. Her body wanted something. It craved something. She simply didn’t know what yet. Not fully.\n\n\tBefore long some panties went on. Cheap white cotton things that left nothing to the imagination. Stockings followed, probably from the same cheap set. Xi was sure to put that package on display. She bent down and pulled up slowly ust the way anyone might see a stripper do. Her hair wans’t long enough to have the effect such movements might be going for, yet the way that now nestled and cage free cock twitched was enough to make Becky groan ust a little. \n\n\tOn went a pair of clearly too-big Mary Janes followed the lacey elbow gloves. When Xiulan bent down to grab the dress and it on, that was when Becky’s body decided to move. A nice sharp smack, a swat right down over those balls. The tip drew a tear-filled yelp and just like that Xiulan was down on her face on the floor trying to reach back and hug the poor orbs.\n\n\t“You’re taking too long.” Becky muttered. The words did little to hide how she huffed and groaned. The way she sucked at the air to draw in Snoot-fulls of somehow-feminine musk wafting into the air. The crop hefted up that little package and shifted it this way and that. “Awww did that hurt you dorky little dyke?” She paused and whimpred. It felt so wrong to say. Yet the way she said itThe way Xi bit back an awkward little moan. The way she wriggled and writhed and even seemed to make a bit of a mess…\n\n\t“Y-you can call me fag too, Miss. If you want.” Xi whined “I mean if it’s in a play context, then”\n\n\t“Shut it.” Anotehr swat between the legs “Did I ask you what you wanted to be called, Queergirl? Be glad I don’t just kick you right between your legs for mouthing off to me like that.” Normal Becky probably would have felt like that was a mistake. Normal Becky had been reading up on all of this. She knew the ins and outs on at least a theoretical level. This wasn’t Normal Becky. In truth Becky had no idea who she was at that moment.\n\n\tWhoever it was, that woman reached over and grabbed a tuft of Xiulan’s hair. She yanked it back and forced the poor red panda to arch painfully on her knees. Soon Xi was bent backwards and looking up, gazing into Becky’s cold blue eyes.\n\n\t“If I want to call you a fag, I’ll do that. If I prefer dyke then that’s what I’ll use. You aren’t a person right now, Xi. You’re just here to get me off. Right?”\n\n\tXiulan nodded frantically. It was a comical sight considering how she was being held. The down-and-up motion brought a few tears to her eyes while she struggled and strained to get herself comfortable.\n\n\t“I still want a safe word though, if it’s needed. No getting stupid on me, girl.” With that said Becky twisted her arm around and pushed Xi down. The poor panda girl pressed up against the floor with her eyes forced to fixate on one of those boots.\n\n\t“Get licking.” Becky murred, leaning back again “Slowly. I want to see what my new gift looks like all polished up.”\n\n\tThis wasn’t at all what Xiulan had planned, and it showed. It took a few moments for her body to react. A few more for her to do so in the right way. Arms crossed around behind back, one hand gripping the other wrist. Her legs were spread apart enough to leave her exposed but also to help balance. She kept her face just off of the floor and slowly began to trace her tongue along the side of the boot sole. It was bitter and acrid. The displeasure of tasting it smeared all over her face while she continued the degrading task. Her talented tongue twisted this way and that over the leather and rubber. It curled and crooked into every crevace. Phantom dirt wicked away with each dainty lick while all Xiulan could do was whine and squirm.\n\n\tBecky could do more, though. Becky could listen to those whines. She could moan. She could feel her fingers dance over her fur along her pelvis while the crop rolled and stroked circles on Xi’s ass. Every once in a while there’d be a strike. Some of them a bit too close to the balls. Sometimes that was even intentional. There was something, something wonderful about the feeling. That she was getting some satisfaction,e ven silly satisfaction, while Xiulan was not. It was a stupid task. Thankless, pointless and unpleasant. It sure as hell wasn’t something that turned Xi on. Not on its own. Every once in a while the submissive girl would seek to lick and kiss a bit higher. Her nose would inch up towards the ankle only for her face to get a soft sharp swat and the other boot to push her down snoot fist against the leather.\n\n\t“No you don’t, bitch.” the words oozed from Becky’s mouth “Not yet. You have a whole other boot to clean after the first one.” As if to make the point clear Becky shifted the boot being worshiped up and rested it on Xiulan’s back just beside her tail. The other one was then shoved and smooshed into her face forcing her to start the process all over again, and perhaps even lose her place for the first boot.\n\n\tThis continued on for longer than either of them were really paying attention Becky got more overt in enjoying herself. Her paw occasionally dipping to those folds or moving up to her breast. She was gentle with herself. Timid, even. Her whole body was trembling and not a fiber of it knew what to do when this worked up. Any time Xiulan would look up she’d slowly spread her folds open and call Xiulan some variant of lesbian slur. ‘Muff diver’, ‘Field hocky rape bait’, pussymouth’. She quickly lost track of them all and most of them probably sounded stupid. But it felt so good letting those words sting Xi, and she really hoped some of them really hurt.\n\n\tMercifully Xiulan was allowed ot move up, bit by bit. She tried to offer praise and thanks every now and then. Becky quick to silence her before the cosplay maid could pick any honorifics. Finally though Xi had reached the end of the boots and was looking, wide eyed, into Becky’s folds.\n\n\tIf the badger gir laws able to keep her composure before it all evaporated now. Once again she curled her hand into that headfur and looked down into Xiulan’s face. Once again she watched as the girl between her legs blushed and writhed in shock.\n\n\t“I want to make something clear.” Becky’s voice was low, it was also deadly serious. She didn’t let Xi look away for even a split second. “This is my first time.”\n\n\t“I, we uh, we don’t have to.” Xi started to say something, but a leather finger pushed against her lips\n\n\t“I don’t plan on going ‘all the way’. Not even close. But we both know what you’re about to do. I know you’ve done it before. I know you’ve done a lot of things I haven’t. I don’t think we should go ‘all the way’ until we know what we are to each other. But this… this is the first time I’ve done anything like this. I’m giving it to you. Do you understand that?”\n\n\tXiulan nodded. It wasn’t a frantic nod. It was slow, it was nervous. For once the bratty girl looked genuinely perturbed in all of this. For once, Becky had rendered Xi speechless.\n\n\tThe nod was enough, though. Enough for Becky to pull the girl in. Enough for her as she felt, for the first time, Xiulan’s soft tongue tenderly tracing its way up between the otherwise untouched folds of her maidenhood.\n\n\tThe leather-wrapped dommie melted at that moment. For a split seond she was ust a girl. Just a teenager. Gone were the stresses of graduation and ‘real life’ after next semester. Gone were the fears of making mistakes and scewing up her paths in life with someone she cared for. Gone too was the strength and composure she’d been holding for the ageless minutes since their session started. What remained was raw, undiluted and simple. Becky wriggled and writhed while feeling that tongue starting to dart up and down her virgin nerves this way and that. Slow, reverent half-circles from bottom to top. Teases that lapped up every drop of her feminine juice that they could. \n\n\tIt was so different from her fingers, or even a toy. There was an unreal lack of control to it. Yet at the same time she was in control. Utterly. Completely. She kept Xi pinned by gripping her hair. She rolled her hips up and down, sensitive spots seeking to be ‘scratched’ forced their way into the path of htat little pink muscle. \n\n\tSome lingering little knot in Becky’s mind wondered if Xiulan was doing it right. Her body, though, didn’t care. Her body was drowning in this pleasure. She rode each little whimper and whine. Any noises shot straight up into her soul. She flexed her legs and shifted this way and that while slowly wrapping the dutiful pet more and more in their embrace. Each time that tongue would get a bit deeper, or lick a bit harder, Becky found it impossible to stop herself. She wanted it to go deeper. She wanted to feel that cute red panda nose bumping against the aching litle nub above her folds. She wanted Xiulan to be more needy, more addicted, to like it less.\n\n\tNo warning came as Becky wrapped her legs around Xiulan’s head. The lack of resistance didn’t matter. She pinned the poor panda firmly between her folds, nose and much of her muzzle buried into the warm wetness while Xiulan was forced to gasp and struggle for what air she could get.\n\n\t“Don’t you dare.” Becky huffed “Don’t. Just keep licing. Keep that tongue working. You wanna breathe, th-then you need to make me cum.” It was wrong, and it was hot. Fear, panic, confusion. She could feel Xi pushing herself in and licking harder. She could feel that tongue seeking out places even Beky herself had not truly explored. All the while there was struggle. Real struggle. She may have been wet before but the way Xiulan wriggled and writhed made Becky gush. She was as careful as her needy brain would allow her to be in making sure Xiulan got moments to catch air. But it was the discomfort. The panic. The true and honest sadistic thrill that helped push Becky higher and higher. Further and futher. Quivering while she now did most of the work riding that smeared face all the way into a convuslion of absolute and udder sadistic bliss.\n\n\tThen, just like that, it was over. The newly minted sadist lay shaking and shivering in the throne while a panting Xiulan curled up at the foot of the chair like some beaten house pet.\n\n\t“Thank you, Miss” was all Xi could muster The two lay spent and shiering in abject bliss.\n\n\tThe door opening shattered that bliss, a familiar and detached tone filling the room. \n\n\t“Oh, I guess you guys need a few more minutes to clean up”\n\n\tAnd with that, the door slammed shut.\n\n--------------------\n\n\tShe had to remind herself that Justin was trying to help. Everything about this setup was wrong. Ring lights crammed up next to where a camera would go. The cables weren’t well organized in the least. Oh, they were wrapped with zip ties, but without any reason to what went where and sero attempt to label them. It was the product of someone who had no idea what the fuck the where doing and it showed. \n\n\t“You sure this is better than how it was when you set it up initially?” The question came along with a small grumble as she worked to get the angle just right on the multi-jointed arm she’d brought for the camera itself.\n\n\t“I think so.” Collin was doing nothing at this point. Eaclty what Becky had wanted. He, and he was in boy mode right now, had done more than enough to mess up when trying to help in the first place. Mmainly standing there holding a few chords that didn’t need to be held and asking questions she was not in the headspace to answer.\n\n\tTo be fair, the audio before Justin had gotten to things sounded like old Cinema Snob episodes Ryan used to show them when they were kids. Tinny and overly-quiet in a way she was sure should be impossible with modern equipment. Except that Collin was somehow trying to use a Yeti as a boom mic, however that was supposed to work.\n\n\t“I should just bring up some of my old stuff sometime.” She huffed “It would probably make this whole process easier. Maybe I could take over some of the directing and managing too.” A wry half smile crossed her muzzle. The blue shimmering eyes glanced up towards Collin with a look that lingered at the edge of predatory.\n\n\tCollin himself swallowed hard and huggled his knees up to his chestin a gesture that was uncharacteristically shy. “I, uh… well I mean I don’t mind that. But are you sure? After all it’s not like you have a lot of free time anyways.”\n\n\t“Fewer shows with better production is always better overall. Quality over quantity and all that.” She held up a single finger to pause any argument. “Besides, I don’t trust some of those creeps in your chat. Especially when you let them dono to make you do kinky shit.”\n\n\t“Oh come on.” he huffed “It’s not that bad. If they’re gonna pay for all the fantasy creature monster type toys and sexy outfits it’s only right they get to ‘make’ me use em how they want, right?”\n\n\tBecky’s smile faded just as quicky as it had appeared. Cables thrashed about in front of her as she picked though the nest of disjointed and unlabeled thigns which had knotted themselves up behind the dresser. “’I’d love to see you in hell, eternally raped crosseyed by tentacles like that’? ‘Bet a gym full of horse cock would ruin you real good. We could get you a horse shoe tattoo lil size queen’? oh, or how about ‘I love the black lipstick. It will be so beautiful when you worship my cock, little one’?” An angry snort followed each quote. Becky’s paw trembled now and she threw the cable bundle away in frustration. It was all she could do to drag her laptop into her lap and aimlessly fiddle though the streaming programs she’d selected for Collin to use when he was streaming.\n\n\t“They’re just being cute.” The red panda sitting on the bed cooed the words while swaying side to side.\n\n\t“So, what. That’s how incels flirt now?” Becky’s tone growing a bit darker. She hated to use the word. But it wasn’t an idle accusation. She’d seen the way these fuckers talked about Collin, and Xiulan too. The homophobic and racist slurs were one thing. She knew they were things that the wah ended up enjoying. A likely result of Ms. Blake’s influence… though to her shame Bekcy had to admit she shared that to somem degree. \n\n\tIt felt different though, imaginging it coming from some ratty house-feral looking 30 something bit-coin miner typing it all with their finger fur coaked in chicken tendie grease. Letting them pay to look was one thing. Maybe even give a few suggestions now and then. But they didn’t own Collin. The poor panda didn’t need to be their fetish object. Plenty of art existed for that. Or they could find their own partner who was into that suff. Or into not being into that stuff.\n\n\tAt some point in her thought process Becky had lost track of Collin. It wasn’t quite clear how considering how small the room was. But the wah had made his way over and was now sat beside her, laying a head on her shoulder. All at once becky’s growing scowl melted and she slumped down in between the wall and the dresser.\n\n\t“It’ll be ok.” Collin nodded “they just want to have a bit of fun. It’s all online. It’s all consensual. It’s all safe.”\n\n\tIt was true. It was all true. So then Becky had to ask herself, why did it upset her so much?\n\n\tShe knew why, and she hated herself for it.\n\n---------------------\n\n\tIt wouldn’t be unfair to call the teens ‘mall rats’. Possibly racist connotations of the name aside, Becky and her little circle of friends probably knew the mall back home better than most anyone around. It was even the reason for her favorite Romaro movie and one of her favorite game franchiess. \n\n\tThe thing was, each mall was different. Unique even. An ecosystem made up of all strata from a community. It was great for people watching. Which was why she had come to a realization.\n\n\tMichigan malls hit different.\n\n\tMaybe not all of them. She hadn’t really seen them all. But there were others. The one in DC she’d been to when they went to visit family living in the area. The Mall of America because for some odd reason her aunt considered that an acceptable place to get married. Even an odd open air mall in Georgia. But the ones in Michigan always felt a bit different to her. A bit more like ‘home’. Crossroads wasn’t any different. Two stories but filled with the same kinds of people and the same kinds of shops. Screaming kids begging mohers for toys even without a proper toy store. Gen Xers and Mellenials looking to relive glory days. Teens waiting around for parents who were searching out bargain deals or drifting in to clothing shops in packs to seek out things they would never themselves buy.\n\n\tShe didn’t know if Collin, who was indeed Collin at that moment, shared her feelings about malls. Probably not. It was a goofy state of mind after all. But he didn’t seem to mind a long walk around the place after their traditional stop at an Orange ulius.\n\n\t“So mom is still talking about what to do with Grandpa Lockhart’s field.” Becky sighed wistfully. “Dad wants to let it just grow wild and try to get a tax write-off for it. See about getting it protected then letting the family do something with it later when someone has a good idea.”\n\n\t“Are you worried about losing a prime filming space, Miss?” \n\n\tBecky wasn’t sure if she should be pissed or pleased. The blush on her cheeks said the latter. It was, though, a very shallow assertion. It was also at least partially correct.\n\n\t“I don’t know how much more ‘wild’ it could be. I mean I guess he’s thinking about putting up protected plants or something there. Which is fine, I suppose. But then what happens if one of the cousins figures out an actual use for it later. Maybe Ryan will go out there and build up some of those tiny houses to sell. Or we could do one of those u-pick fruit things. The place is already half covered in raspberries.”\n\n\t“I’m sure they’ll let you keep filming there, Miss. Even if it ends up overgrown.”\n\n\t“Just ddrink your Julius.” Becky sighed. Here she thought she’d tamed the brat, when suddenly a brand new form of brat evolved phantomlike from the old. Did all dominants have to deal wit this? She imagined Hui wasn’t anything like her older sibling. Which, naturally, led into a pool of thought Becky was quick to board over and utterly disavow for the rest of her god dman life if she could help it.\n\n\tCollin did indeed take a hard sip while the two made their way out into the cold October sunlight “Is this really about the field?” he sighed. “It’s not like the highway isn’t littered with fields.\n\n\t“Corn fields and loud traffic.” Becky corrected “But, no. I guess not. I think I’m ust kind of annoyed is all. It’s been forever and the only thing anyone can think of is ‘let it sit there’. People always act like change is a bad thing and it’s supposed to make you anxious. But what about a lack of change? What about stagnation? Am I the only one who really worries about things staying how they are?”\n\n\t“Well, you and that Bastiel guy.” Collin chuckled. He quickly dived back into the safety of his drink, sipping hard while the two walked along side a risen cement curb used as a planter box.\n\n\tBecky rolled her eyes and bit back a heavy sigh “I’m serious. Everyone I encounter during the week is all weepy and upset about how much they’re going to miss high school and how they’ll all miss each other like they don’t live ten fucking miles away. Half of them don’t even like each other.”\n\n\t“I don’t think it’s about liking each other. I think it’s just what you said. They don’t want change. I mean, that makes a lot of sense, right?” Collin had dropped the ‘miss’. He’d also shifted his tone, though it was possible even he didn’t notice it.\n\n\tIt was more than enough to throw Becky. She sipped down the last of her drink and tossed it in the trash can without even really processing it. Instead she circled around her date a bit as if trying to ascertane some meaning beyond the obvious.\n\n\t“Well I know nostalgia is a thing. But that’s not how life works. It never is. You gotta enjoy things as they come, right?” Even as she said it she could see his mood souring. Every word hitting the exact wrong note. Becky instead smiled slightly and reached out to cup his cheek. “Look, I’m not trying to be mean. I just, I don’t get it. Staying the same can be comfortable. But it’s the kind of comfortable where you’re sitting in a recliner too long. Eventually it just turns bad. It starts to hurt. Everything feels wrong.”\n\n\t“So you just throw everything out?”\n\n\tBecky’s surprise quickly twisted into outright sohck. She sshook her head frantically and took a step back. “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. You don’t just throw the chair away, right? But you have to get up and move. You have to do ‘something’ other than ust sitting there.” The words, naturally, did nothing. If anything it only seemed to make things worse. Everything was a mine field at this point and she wasn’t sure what to say anymore. Instead, she slumped down and sighed with her head slipping into her paw. “This is about something, isn’t it?”\n\n\tCollin’s face only grew more sullen. He tried to offer a smile, but any heart he may have put into it simply evaporated. “a lot of somethings.” He sighed “Though one thing is that you’re graduating Which means you’re gonna move.”\n\n\t“Huh? Well, yeah. Isn’t that what you did?” \n\n\t“To Kalamazoo. So long as the I-94 is clear that’s a nothing of a drive.” The point was emphasized by a quick flick of Collin’s bushy tail towards Becky. “You’re up here for a weekend and stopping for lunch probably doubled your trip time.”\n\n\t“Now you’re just being hyperbolic.” Becky grabbed the tuft of Collin’s tail and gave it a tug, then shoved it away. “I had to plan all this out, and I had to make sure it wasn’t on a week when I had any serious homework. It’s not like I can just drop everything and come up here to see you any time I want.”\n\n\t“You literally could” Collin whined “Any time you wanted. \n\t\n\t“Any time I‘m not swamped. You think that‘s gonna get any easier for me when I hit college?”\n\n\tCollin shrugged “It might. College is pretty easy for me so far. Easy enough that I can work a side gig without any real issues.”\n\n\t“Still not too comfortable with the guys in your chat.” Becky muttered\n\n\t“I know. But my point is that college isn‘t the massive Sisyphean bolder we were always told it is. But if you move away…”((Start))\n\n\t“That‘s just unfair.” Becky snapped “Especially since we both know you’re the smarter one here.“\n\n\t“We don’t know that.“ Collin corrected\n\nBecky ignored the comment and simply continued “Besides, even if we ignore the fact that we aren’t quite positive on what we are yet, the simple fact is that I’d be busy most of the time and so would you. I mean, it’s a silly worry anyways. Most of my choices weren’t really that far away. University of Michigan. Grand Valley. I even put in to Western as a safety school.”\n\n\t“And Cal-arts.” Collin nearly spat the words\n\n\t“Well yeah. The west coast is where you go to get the connections for the industry. I mean I have to take that chance. But you say that like we’d be seeing each other all the time if I got in to most places. I put in at UCLA and Cal-arts. Honestly part of me is pretty curious about directing animation. But I don’t know if I’d want that for sure. I don’t know what I want to make exactly.” Becky pulled her leg up and hooked the arch of her shoe on the solid cement slab. Every position she took and every move she made left her feeling uncomfortable. Each one a bit worse than the last. The smile on her face kept flickering while she tried to find just the right spot to shift her weight and balance out her nerves.\n\n\tWhen Becky began talking again, her voice was masked. A well practiced tone that still cracked and twisted at its edges. Words she‘d clearly practiced thousands of times in the mirror in the hopes that they might end up sounding something akin to authentic. “It’s not like I could see you all the time with most of these schools. Maybe at Western, sure. But a drive from Grand Valley or somewhere further would functionally be just much of a time sink as flying in from Cali. We already talk mostly over the net anyways, right?” \n\n\tHer date said nothing in response. The red panda rocked and swayed back and forth a bit. Every once in a while poking at his inner cheek with his tongue. Rolling it up and down idly “I get what you’re saying.” He finally muttered “But you know it doesn’t work that way. You know only one of us has any idea what the fuck they’re doing.”\n\n\t“I thought you were going to med school.” Becky blinked\n\n\t“I’m doing pre-med because my parents want me to.” Collin corrected “And honeslty I’m not trying all that hard. ‘Oh yes, Miss Jane Q Eurofur. I’ll be happy to help you. Don’t worry, I already know your husband will accuse me of being a communist on the drive back. I’m used to it. So feel free to just sit right there whiel I spend the next half hour of my life slowly trying to convince you that your baby needs their fucking MMR vaccine to avoid dying. I’ll even do it with a smile. Because your kid could fucking die if you get offended and decide to ignore basic medical advice out of petty spite!’” Collin punctuated the little rant with a hard drag on his Orange Julius. The frothy fruity mix gurgling the last of itself up the straw, which only made the wah suck harder out of spite.\n\n\t“You, uh, you thought a lot about this, huh?“ Becky sighed. In a perfect world she would have given an order. She wasn’t sure what it’d be. Just something that would help put Collin into a headspace not full of such rage and hate.\n\n\tCollin’s first response was a hard football-style toss of his drink cup towards the nearby trash can. It bounced off and he grumbled to himself. He tried to settle in, glancing back at Becky while trying to make it seem as if he wasn’t doing just that. When that failed, he picked himself up and walked the two feet needed to thrwo the thing away. All the while his body took on a posture less of submission and more of just general defeat.\n\n\t“I don’t want tht to be my life.” The boy finally sighed. “Not just because I’m worried that it’d end up getting me stuck in one role all the time. Because the one thing I’m sure people around here would love more than a Chinese doctor is a Chinese gender fluid doctor.”\n\n\t“Alternative take, epic idea for the new Dr. Who.” Becky chimed in.\n\n\tCollin wasn’t having it. He’d already began pacing, wandering, not moving too far from his date but not really looking at her either. “I don’t know if I’m Collin, or if I’m Xiulan, or if I’m both. Yet here I am and I’m supposed to be all set on some life path.”\n\n\tBecky smiled warmly and pulled herself up from the cement. “Everyone has to take time and figure those things out though-”\n\n\t“You don’t!” Collin corrected “You have a demo reel and everything. Even if half of it is just Esme and my lil sis dicking around in costumes. That’s better than anything Zack Snyder has done lately. Esme, well, we all know she’s gonna be an actress. Hell even mister shonen protagonist is actually focusing on something other than punching ‘bad guys’ and proving he’s the toughest.”\n\n\tThere wasn’t much of anything Becky could say to that. She wanted to reach out, to wrap her hands around him. She wanted to do something, anything at all. The abject pain of actually seeing Collin like this was something she hadn’t expected. In fact it wasn’t something she’d ever considered before that moment if she were to be totally honest with herself.\n\n\t“I don’t” she sighed “I mean it’s not… it’s not that simple. Right? I mean you know it’s not that simple. Everyone figures things out at a different rate.” One frustration about being short was that stupid little evolutionary niche which made her feel weaker when trying to be the strong and comforting one. Becky’s arm pulled itself firmly around Collin and pulled him down a bit. Instead he slumped down against the cement curb and leaned himself back against it with his tail curled over and rolling against the collection of leaves and twigs occupying the shoddily kept planter.\n\n\t“I always thought this was supposed to be easy.” He sighed. “I thought it was supposed to be so fucking easy. Do what my folks say. Get an education. Get the job they want. Then I win. I get it first while Justin is still trying to figure things out and fucking up. I get it before Hui is old enough. Then the hard work is worth it because I win. But I didn’t win. She… she ‘showed’ me I was holding myself back.” There was no need to specify who he meant. Especially not with Becky tensing up aginst him. That small sliver of hate radiating out from her.\n\n\tThe two sat quiet for a long while. Collin half-retreated into his sweater while he focused on the texture difference between his jeans and the rough stone-shod cement every time he moved. Becky, for her part, simply rocked a bit and flicked at the sidewalk with her heel, not really paying much attention to the cold seeping in though her jeans.\n\n\t“I know you don’t like her.” Collin finally sighed. “It’s ok. I don’t expect you to. It wouldn’t be right for me to ask you to.”\n \n\t“What she did was wrong.” Becky growled\n\n\t“I know that” the boy barked back. “But… But you have to understand that I feel… I don’t know. I don’t feel as trapped now. I feel like I can figure out who I am. That’s scary! I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore!” \n\n\tEverything fell silent again. Becky was suddenly swept up in a wave of guilt. She wasn’t supposed to be hearing this. It all felt like a confession blurted out in the middle of a church by people who did that kind of confessional thing. She looked into his eyes. When he tried to look away she grabbed him. Grabbed his muzzle hard and pulled it back into place. She gazed at him. She let her eyes focus deeply, boring into his soul. The young woman sucked in all that she saw with the voracity of a sin-eater. Her heart ached as she tried to will all of tha pain and doubt and every other confused twisted ‘thing’ in the poor boy to flow out of him and into her. At least that’s what the still rational part of her mind tried to say. That was the objective context she tried so hard to place on this stirring of irrational feelings. \n\n\tIt was all ok. It ‘would’ all be ok. She was here for him. A thousand pat, trite responses flooded her lips and died just as quickly. Words that meant nothing. Feelings that meant nothing. Everything she could possibly do was meaningless. So she did the only thing her body would allow.\n\n\tThey kissed. Her lips touching his. Pressing in forcefully. Chapped, cola-lip-balm stained lips smashed awkwardly into Collin’s Her strong paws grabbed on to him and pulled him close. She drank in his shocked gasp and rolled her tongue on his. Forcing it in. The kind of claiming she felt was as wrong as could be given the cercumstances. Yet it was also the onl thing she could do. It was the only thing her body would allow.\n\n\tShe held him firmly and traced his tongue. Her whole body heaved deep ragged breaths. Her eyes smashed tight and her face blazing with a blush it almost never saw. God help her, she enjoyed feeling him struggle. A few twitches and squirms before he went wonderfully limp in her arms. Sobbing, trembling, and greatfully submitting just to her.\n\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Collared Chapter 25: Changes
By TerraMGP

\tKalamazoo wasn’t that far from home for Becky. Hell, Justin had been making trips back home for a while now and he actually had to worry about gas money.

\tIt made the young badger girl wonder just what had taken her so long in doing this. Except she knew why. She also knew why she was going up now.

\tCollin.

\tBeky had attempted to use Xiulan more. It was best to get used to the name after all. Except it was hard. She’d known Collin. She’d grown up with Collin. The dorky older borther of her best friend. The annoying crybaby she ended up protecting more than he seemed to realize, especially when it came to going out in the woods. That cute, shy, awkard boy that nobody noticed unless they were shoving him around. Even then they would notice her idiot cousin more because he always had to come in and try to save the day.

\tIn the end, though, Collin wasn’t the wrong name to use. At least not when they were in boy mode. It was a gender fluid thing, and apparently part of Collin or Xiulan figuring out if they were indeed trans, or cis, or fluid full on.

\tRegardless, they were something special, and Becky was realizing she couldn’t simply ignore that for now and come back when she was ready. Because someone else realized that too. Someone who would do anything to abuse poor Collin and use that cute wimp before tossing them to the curb.

\t“Jesus fucking Christ.” Becky sighed “I sound like Justin.”

\tThree days, or at least most of three days. That was how long she had. Justin was letting her crash at his place, and he had promised her parents she’d be as safe as possible. Which, aside from that Willa girl talking her ear off and invading her personal space, was probably true.

\tShe hadn’t told her parents the reason for coming up, though. The reason she was currently sitting there in front of an unfamiliar box of dorm rooms with her eyes glued to the door.

\tThe figure who eventually marched out was the real reason. A cutely androgynous red panda in a heavy looking fall sweater and jeans. Ok. Boy mode. Collin. That made things just a tiny bit easeir. Becky reached over and struggled her way over, popping open the passenger side door and shoving it part way open with every inch her fingeritps would give her.

\tCollin smirked and slipped in. Instantly the boy wrapped around Becky’s neck in a massive hug. The smell of Cinnamon Apple and something else she could not quite place all blended together in her sinuses while Becky hugged him back and gave a few nerous back pats back.

\tThe hug broke, and then Collin smiled wide. Out from a pocket came an elasti hair band with a pair of big plastic balls resembling cherries at either end. In one quick motion the red panda had bunched up a tuft of hair and wrapped the ornamentation around it. Just like that, things had changed.

\t“Oh… So, Xiulan.” Becky muttered. Already she felt guilty about how bad she made it sound.

\t“You got it.” Xi nodded

\t“Well ok then.” Becky nodded “Let’s get this date started.”

--------------------

\tA surprise. That was what Xiulan had called it.

\tIt wasn’t some boxed up gift as Becky had expected. It wasn’t even a resteraunt. That’s what she’d thought at first when Xi had put the address in and let her phone guide them. Now they were here. Sitting in a half-dirt parking lot behind a tattoo parlor.

\tWas Xi looking to get a tattoo? Was that supposed to be the ‘surprise’? They weren’t to that point in a relationship yet. Not even close. Even if they were she wasn’t quite sure she’d want her to get something like some ‘mark’ or the like. Or worse, was she expecting Becky to get one? Maybe even matching ones? Becky was over thinking so hard she didn’t even notice Xiulan pulling herself out of the car and making her way towards the back of the store. Or rather, making her way towards a cement stiarway leading under the store.

\t“Hey, wait!” The shortish badger spilled out of the car and fumbled the door closed behind her. Xiulan was standing there with an impish smile looking back at Becky, tail waving side to side. The most painful, childish faux-innocence one could imagine. Enough brat that Becky was half way to smacking her before realizing that might be what Xi wanted. So instead she straightned up. She wasn’t going to do that. She was better than that. At least, she was pretty sure.

\t“Sorry. I thought you were right there behind me.” Xiulan lilted.

\t“No you didn’t.” Becky snapped. “

\t“Sure I did.” Xi cooed.  She didn’t miss a step making her way down the stairs. She had far more confidence than Bekcy. The image of a younger Collin flashed though Becky’s mind. OF a scrawny, wimpy, whiny Red Panda boy cowering and nearly crying at the sight of pricker bushes grown up around the path to the creek. A poor boy ready to burst into tears as Justin and Hui alternately teased and comforted him as they tried to coax him past the mundane obstical.

\tShe remembered her own snickering. Back then Collin was little more than an occasional tag-along. At least where she and Hui were concerned. Had Becky really always found his cowardace so god damn cute? Was he feeling the same way looking at her?

\tShe answered herself the only way she could while saving face. Becky pushed herself past Collin and grabbed the door, yanking hard with the full intention of flinging it wide open. Instead it stuck. Xiulan moved up beside her and knocked. Only then was there movement behind the door. A small hatch sliding open, and the blue eyes behind it flicking between them.

\t“Oh, it’s you” An unfamiliar French accent laiden with contempt. The hatch slammed shut, and then the door flung open. The girl behind it matched the voice to a comedic degree. A light furred pine marten in a maid unfiorm with bottle black hair. She didn’t say a word. Instead she just began to march her way down the foreboding brick hallway. Her tail thwishing with a barely contained aggression that made Becky feel almost like apologizing each time.

\tThe girl didn’t give her a chance, though. Instead she simply led the two though to a set of heavy looking metal doors spaced out evenly on either end of a hallway. The whole thing looked like a prison setup. Or

\t“A dungeon.”

\tNo sooner had Becky siad the words than Xiulan shoved into her and grinned the biggest, most wicked, most self satisfied grin one could imagine.

\t“Surprise!” Xi cooed

\t“A dungeon. You brought me to a dungeon. Xi… how on earth did you even find a dungeon?” Becky begged her brain to stop saying dungeon. She then cast her eyes to the even more unimpressed looking maid woman.

\t They moved past her and into the room. A mix of bondage furniture and racks of sex toys, most of which were of the type that thankfully didn’t require that much cleaning and sterilization. Assuming someone was acutally going to do such a thing.

\tThe door slammed shut behind them and Xiulan was quick to scamper her way over to a wardrobe set up in the corner. She opened it, revealing a plethora of cheap outfits only a step up from Spirit Halloween fare.

\t“So, what exactly are you doing?” Becky sighed

\t“I want you to pick out what I should wear for our session, Miss.” Xiulan’s tone shifted to something resembling dutiful. She smiled and offered up a nice little bow

\t“No, dumbass. I mean this. All of this. Why the hell are we here? Doesn’t this shit cost money? And how did you even find it?”

\t“This is where Justin works, Miss.” The dutiful tone not breaking for a second. Xi had seemingly gone from haughty to servile with no regonition of how fucking creepy it was. “As for rates, they really aren’t that bad. It took a bit of saving up but it’s a special gift. So it’s worth splurging a little bit.”

\tThis all seemed like more than a little bit. This felt a lot more like ‘new Playstation’ money. But it was money already spent so who was she to complain? Instead she stepped forwards and picked out a trashy fetish maid outfit which looked like it’d fit right in with any anime out there.

\t“Good choi-oof” Xi winced with the clotehs shoved against her.

\t“There, go change.” Becky huffed the words angrily.

\tThe bratty smile returned to Xi’s lips a moment. Her ears twitched a touch and she swayed her hips every so slightly “Don’t you want to get comfortable first, Miss?” Xiulan cooed

\t“Get comfy?” Becky stiffened up even as she asked the question. She knew what Xi was saking. Xi wanted her to watch. She wanted Bekcy to see her change. The blush from a short while ago came back and grew until she was positive she’d pass out. It was taking all she had to keep her composure and truth be told she was failry sure she was losing it fast.

\tShe should have argued. Hell it may have even helped her aassert herself. But no. Instead Becky Parker did what she felt she had to do. Instead she was doing the only thing she could think to do. She made her way to the throne. The most obvious landmark bit of furniture in the room. A boxy unpainted chair made of wood, heavy slats lined up to joint in with each other in a way that looked old and brutal. The only thing to make it look at all inviting was a simple black boxy cushion.

\tExcept it wasn’t a cushion. It was too rigid and clearly not made of cloth. She picked up the box and looked it over a moment. It was a clothing box. That much was obvious. Even with all of her attempts to dismiss her ‘rich kid’ roots Becky knew what these sorts of thigns were. It was also big, and heavy. She turned to Xi who wasn’t even trying to feign ignorance or innocence.

\t“Well” The girl squealed “Open it.”

\tOpen it. As if it was the most obvious thing in the world. As if she should have expected this. The idea that Xi had gotten her a’ gift’ like this was already enough to push Becky to the edge of walking out. It felt akward. It felt wrong. It felt like she was somehow taking advantage. Whatever was in this box? Xi would just have to take it back.

\t“Oh, fuck.” The box opened, and every thought she had shattered. Becky looked in awe at the object before her. A corset. An actual, legit corset. Molded of leather, dyed in deep forest greens and earthy red-browns. She felt the object drop from her fingertips. Was barely aware of her body picking it up. Some other her did the actual movement. She was barely a passanger at this point. She scanned over the shiny silvery buckles. The exquisite carving and engraving. Would something like this even fit her? Would she even know how to wear it?

\tIt only got worse from there. Becky noticed more. A set of gloves, and under that a set of boots. The gloves elbow length and boots easily long enough to reach up her thighs. How much did this cost? How much could this cost? How could Xiulan even know?

\t“Hui told me.” Xi chirped the answer before Becky could even ask. “I didn’t tell her what I was getting you but I said it was something, and she does have all of our measurements on file.”

\t“I am just now realizing how creepy that is.” Becky sighed. It was also flattering. Thoguhtful, even. To think that her… whatever they were… would be though tful enough to ask about all of this. The question To a point where the two blended and she wasn’t quite sure how she should feel.

\t“You can’t return these, I’m guessing.” Becky’s finger drawing along some of the taught leather.

\t“No Miss” Xi’s tone was horribly even. “The lady at the Renfaire had a very strict no returns policy.”

\t“Figures. And I’m guessing you’re hoping I’ll wear this, then?”

\t“Well you did pick out mine, Miss.” Xiulan cooed a sing song and swayed again. She was still hugging the maid outfit to her chest.

\tThe leather was so different than anything she was used to. Stiff and supple at the same time. The inside lined with soft velvety faux fur… or peraps it was real fur. It was it had a shine more dull than the latex and rubber she’d been looking at lately. The weight, though. It was the wight that really sold it for her.

\tThere was no  ceremony in Bekcy’s undressing. She didn’t even particularly bother to check back and see if Xiulan was looking. Off came her tee shirt and then her belt with a rough almost painful yank. That aggressive part of her. The part of her that was pissed, all of her anger came out when she kicked her jeans away and followed it quickly by shoving down her panties nad tripping out of them.

\tWhen Becky Parker finally thudded into the throne she felt anything but a dominant. No queen. No goddess. She just felt like hitting something, or someone, and didn’t care who. Anything to help make these unfamiliar feelings go away.

\tIt was a while after that before she calmed down. Her chest heaved as she began. First came the boots. Stiff and sturdy yet supple at the same time. Her legs, chunky and boxy as they were, felt elegant for perhaps the first time. Fur and fat and muscle all squeezed into a long and almost luxurious shape. It hurt like a bitch, especially with the pressure needed for each buckle to clasp. It was also uncomfortably stiff and strong. So much that the mere act of bending her leg was something of a chore. But it was worth it. Vain as it was, Becky loved the way it all looked.

\tThe gloves came next. A much bigger fuss. She’d seen how rubber worked. She’d even looked up how that was supposed to go on. This wasn’t rubber. This didn’t go on the same way. No powder to help her. The fur lining made little static crackles with her own fur. It squeezed in the same way with only a single buckle strap just below each shoulder to keep the min place.

\tThose, naturally, were the prelude.

\tThis wasn’t as soft a corset. Once again straps and the cloth she would have expected was in short supply. At the same time it wasn’t the kind of thing designed to give a girl a wasp waste from the looks of it. A good thing for someone who always felt she looked more like a potato made of brick. She pulled the corest, or perhaps bodace, or whatever the nomenclature might be, up against her chest . Only at that point did she realize her bra was still on. Anotehr obstical which now required her to fumble though the tiny plastic straps using the new gloves.. When it was free she instead felt the leadtehr seat properly just under her chest. It wasn’t a perfect fit. Far from it. Some things felt almost as if they poked. Some things somehow felt loose. It was hard to say exactly where since every time she moved those aspects seemed to shift just a touch.

\tShe wasn’t able to fasten all of the buckles by herself. However the ones she could manage did keep the thing on. A lewd bit of clothing doing little to hide her not-so-modest chest. If anything it made her breasts more pronounced. Not really something the teen looked for herself. But in the moment it felt as right as the tight stiff grip of the leatehr on her limbs or the way her body stood at near attention, stood in a position of ‘authority’.

\tOne last peace remained. A thong. An open crotch thong clearly made to match the outfit. There was a temptation to put it on. But not now. Not yet.

\t“Ok. I need your help now.” The words took every shred of breath the badger had. The saner part of her worried about how much worse it was about to get.the rest of her tingled with the excitement.

\tNo sooner had she made the demand than Xiulan was there. Kneeling down like a delicate little handmaidne, she began to fasten and tug on the buckles. Each one took away a bit more of the free space. It also drew a surprised moan. Her whole body now held, trapped in that leather shell. A sexy, beautiful woman having taken her plain boring place.

\t“Is that satisfactory, ma’am?” Xiulan knelt at those botos now. She leaned down and kissed the top of each one. Her tail bristled up and ass remained in the air but the rest of her looked every bit the perfect picture of dimure obedient submission.

\t“I suppose it will do.” Becky’s tone had become more harsh and forwards. She paced to one of the toy racks and reached a trembling paw towards a stout riding crop. The rod cut the air pleasingly. It felt right twisting it down into the leather pad wrapped about her paw. It did feel like she should do more. As if there should be some more reverence or gravity to the tool while she inspected it. Or maybe she simply wanted to ride the high of being someone else. Someone stronger. Someone better able to guide her cute pet. To make Xiulan into her cute pet.

\t“Enough stalling.” Becky muttered to herself, though it could have easily been mistaken for a comment to Xi. Becky paced her way over towards the throne and slipped down into it. One stubby yet somehow supple leg crossed the other. Her body leaned back to leave her womanhood on full display for the scheming wah.

\t“Well then, I’m dressed.” Becky huffed “It’s about time you do the same.”

\tThere was an argument to be made for the strip tease being sensual. If someone was going to judge that it wasn’t Becky Parker. She was more nervous than anything while watching the femmy red panda slowly wriggling and writhing out of a long sleeve shirt. It might have been the kind of thing a person saw at a strip show, maybe. The way Xi puffed up her cute flat chest as if a pair of huge bolt-on tits rested there. The way she wriggled her hips out of her unflattering jeans.

\tThe movements by themselves looked dumb. Over wrought and silly. But the sight of that cute little butt and Bevky’s first real look at that tiny little cock.

\tShe’d seen it before, naturally. Seen it sometimes in those shows Xi would put on. A swollen little coinpurse for balls and a cutely semi-limp cock. Now here they were. For her. Hovering and swaying and swishing before her eyes. Xi got a bit harder every few moments but never seemed to get properly erect.

\tBecky found herself biting the orner of her lip while ust watching it sway under that sexy abuse target of a butt. She felt the crop grinding into her palm. Her body wanted something. It craved something. She simply didn’t know what yet. Not fully.

\tBefore long some panties went on. Cheap white cotton things that left nothing to the imagination. Stockings followed, probably from the same cheap set. Xi was sure to put that package on display. She bent down and pulled up slowly ust the way anyone might see a stripper do. Her hair wans’t long enough to have the effect such movements might be going for, yet the way that now nestled and cage free cock twitched was enough to make Becky groan ust a little.

\tOn went a pair of clearly too-big Mary Janes followed the lacey elbow gloves. When Xiulan bent down to grab the dress and it on, that was when Becky’s body decided to move. A nice sharp smack, a swat right down over those balls. The tip drew a tear-filled yelp and just like that Xiulan was down on her face on the floor trying to reach back and hug the poor orbs.

\t“You’re taking too long.” Becky muttered. The words did little to hide how she huffed and groaned. The way she sucked at the air to draw in Snoot-fulls of somehow-feminine musk wafting into the air. The crop hefted up that little package and shifted it this way and that. “Awww did that hurt you dorky little dyke?” She paused and whimpred. It felt so wrong to say. Yet the way she said itThe way Xi bit back an awkward little moan. The way she wriggled and writhed and even seemed to make a bit of a mess…

\t“Y-you can call me fag too, Miss. If you want.” Xi whined “I mean if it’s in a play context, then”

\t“Shut it.” Anotehr swat between the legs “Did I ask you what you wanted to be called, Queergirl? Be glad I don’t just kick you right between your legs for mouthing off to me like that.” Normal Becky probably would have felt like that was a mistake. Normal Becky had been reading up on all of this. She knew the ins and outs on at least a theoretical level. This wasn’t Normal Becky. In truth Becky had no idea who she was at that moment.

\tWhoever it was, that woman reached over and grabbed a tuft of Xiulan’s hair. She yanked it back and forced the poor red panda to arch painfully on her knees. Soon Xi was bent backwards and looking up, gazing into Becky’s cold blue eyes.

\t“If I want to call you a fag, I’ll do that. If I prefer dyke then that’s what I’ll use. You aren’t a person right now, Xi. You’re just here to get me off. Right?”

\tXiulan nodded frantically. It was a comical sight considering how she was being held. The down-and-up motion brought a few tears to her eyes while she struggled and strained to get herself comfortable.

\t“I still want a safe word though, if it’s needed. No getting stupid on me, girl.” With that said Becky twisted her arm around and pushed Xi down. The poor panda girl pressed up against the floor with her eyes forced to fixate on one of those boots.

\t“Get licking.” Becky murred, leaning back again “Slowly. I want to see what my new gift looks like all polished up.”

\tThis wasn’t at all what Xiulan had planned, and it showed. It took a few moments for her body to react. A few more for her to do so in the right way. Arms crossed around behind back, one hand gripping the other wrist. Her legs were spread apart enough to leave her exposed but also to help balance. She kept her face just off of the floor and slowly began to trace her tongue along the side of the boot sole. It was bitter and acrid. The displeasure of tasting it smeared all over her face while she continued the degrading task. Her talented tongue twisted this way and that over the leather and rubber. It curled and crooked into every crevace. Phantom dirt wicked away with each dainty lick while all Xiulan could do was whine and squirm.

\tBecky could do more, though. Becky could listen to those whines. She could moan. She could feel her fingers dance over her fur along her pelvis while the crop rolled and stroked circles on Xi’s ass. Every once in a while there’d be a strike. Some of them a bit too close to the balls. Sometimes that was even intentional. There was something, something wonderful about the feeling. That she was getting some satisfaction,e ven silly satisfaction, while Xiulan was not. It was a stupid task. Thankless, pointless and unpleasant. It sure as hell wasn’t something that turned Xi on. Not on its own. Every once in a while the submissive girl would seek to lick and kiss a bit higher. Her nose would inch up towards the ankle only for her face to get a soft sharp swat and the other boot to push her down snoot fist against the leather.

\t“No you don’t, bitch.” the words oozed from Becky’s mouth “Not yet. You have a whole other boot to clean after the first one.” As if to make the point clear Becky shifted the boot being worshiped up and rested it on Xiulan’s back just beside her tail. The other one was then shoved and smooshed into her face forcing her to start the process all over again, and perhaps even lose her place for the first boot.

\tThis continued on for longer than either of them were really paying attention Becky got more overt in enjoying herself. Her paw occasionally dipping to those folds or moving up to her breast. She was gentle with herself. Timid, even. Her whole body was trembling and not a fiber of it knew what to do when this worked up. Any time Xiulan would look up she’d slowly spread her folds open and call Xiulan some variant of lesbian slur. ‘Muff diver’, ‘Field hocky rape bait’, pussymouth’. She quickly lost track of them all and most of them probably sounded stupid. But it felt so good letting those words sting Xi, and she really hoped some of them really hurt.

\tMercifully Xiulan was allowed ot move up, bit by bit. She tried to offer praise and thanks every now and then. Becky quick to silence her before the cosplay maid could pick any honorifics. Finally though Xi had reached the end of the boots and was looking, wide eyed, into Becky’s folds.

\tIf the badger gir laws able to keep her composure before it all evaporated now. Once again she curled her hand into that headfur and looked down into Xiulan’s face. Once again she watched as the girl between her legs blushed and writhed in shock.

\t“I want to make something clear.” Becky’s voice was low, it was also deadly serious. She didn’t let Xi look away for even a split second. “This is my first time.”

\t“I, we uh, we don’t have to.” Xi started to say something, but a leather finger pushed against her lips

\t“I don’t plan on going ‘all the way’. Not even close. But we both know what you’re about to do. I know you’ve done it before. I know you’ve done a lot of things I haven’t. I don’t think we should go ‘all the way’ until we know what we are to each other. But this… this is the first time I’ve done anything like this. I’m giving it to you. Do you understand that?”

\tXiulan nodded. It wasn’t a frantic nod. It was slow, it was nervous. For once the bratty girl looked genuinely perturbed in all of this. For once, Becky had rendered Xi speechless.

\tThe nod was enough, though. Enough for Becky to pull the girl in. Enough for her as she felt, for the first time, Xiulan’s soft tongue tenderly tracing its way up between the otherwise untouched folds of her maidenhood.

\tThe leather-wrapped dommie melted at that moment. For a split seond she was ust a girl. Just a teenager. Gone were the stresses of graduation and ‘real life’ after next semester. Gone were the fears of making mistakes and scewing up her paths in life with someone she cared for. Gone too was the strength and composure she’d been holding for the ageless minutes since their session started. What remained was raw, undiluted and simple. Becky wriggled and writhed while feeling that tongue starting to dart up and down her virgin nerves this way and that. Slow, reverent half-circles from bottom to top. Teases that lapped up every drop of her feminine juice that they could.

\tIt was so different from her fingers, or even a toy. There was an unreal lack of control to it. Yet at the same time she was in control. Utterly. Completely. She kept Xi pinned by gripping her hair. She rolled her hips up and down, sensitive spots seeking to be ‘scratched’ forced their way into the path of htat little pink muscle.

\tSome lingering little knot in Becky’s mind wondered if Xiulan was doing it right. Her body, though, didn’t care. Her body was drowning in this pleasure. She rode each little whimper and whine. Any noises shot straight up into her soul. She flexed her legs and shifted this way and that while slowly wrapping the dutiful pet more and more in their embrace. Each time that tongue would get a bit deeper, or lick a bit harder, Becky found it impossible to stop herself. She wanted it to go deeper. She wanted to feel that cute red panda nose bumping against the aching litle nub above her folds. She wanted Xiulan to be more needy, more addicted, to like it less.

\tNo warning came as Becky wrapped her legs around Xiulan’s head. The lack of resistance didn’t matter. She pinned the poor panda firmly between her folds, nose and much of her muzzle buried into the warm wetness while Xiulan was forced to gasp and struggle for what air she could get.

\t“Don’t you dare.” Becky huffed “Don’t. Just keep licing. Keep that tongue working. You wanna breathe, th-then you need to make me cum.” It was wrong, and it was hot. Fear, panic, confusion. She could feel Xi pushing herself in and licking harder. She could feel that tongue seeking out places even Beky herself had not truly explored. All the while there was struggle. Real struggle. She may have been wet before but the way Xiulan wriggled and writhed made Becky gush. She was as careful as her needy brain would allow her to be in making sure Xiulan got moments to catch air. But it was the discomfort. The panic. The true and honest sadistic thrill that helped push Becky higher and higher. Further and futher. Quivering while she now did most of the work riding that smeared face all the way into a convuslion of absolute and udder sadistic bliss.

\tThen, just like that, it was over. The newly minted sadist lay shaking and shivering in the throne while a panting Xiulan curled up at the foot of the chair like some beaten house pet.

\t“Thank you, Miss” was all Xi could muster  The two lay spent and shiering in abject bliss.

\tThe door opening shattered that bliss, a familiar and detached tone filling the room.

\t“Oh, I guess you guys need a few more minutes to clean up”

\tAnd with that, the door slammed shut.

--------------------

\tShe had to remind herself that Justin was trying to help. Everything about this setup was wrong. Ring lights crammed up next to where a camera would go. The cables weren’t well organized in the least. Oh, they were wrapped with zip ties, but without any reason to what went where and sero attempt to label them. It was the product of someone who had no idea what the fuck the where doing and it showed.

\t“You sure this is better than how it was when you set it up initially?” The question came along with a small grumble as she worked to get the angle just right on the multi-jointed arm she’d brought for the camera itself.

\t“I think so.” Collin was doing nothing at this point. Eaclty what Becky had wanted. He, and he was in boy mode right now, had done more than enough to mess up when trying to help in the first place. Mmainly standing there holding a few chords that didn’t need to be held and asking questions she was not in the headspace to answer.

\tTo be fair, the audio before Justin had gotten to things sounded like old Cinema Snob episodes Ryan used to show them when they were kids. Tinny and overly-quiet in a way she was sure should be impossible with modern equipment. Except that Collin was somehow trying to use a Yeti as a boom mic, however that was supposed to work.

\t“I should just bring up some of my old stuff sometime.” She huffed “It would probably make this whole process easier. Maybe I could take over some of the directing and managing too.” A wry half smile crossed her muzzle. The blue shimmering eyes glanced up towards Collin with a look that lingered at the edge of predatory.

\tCollin himself swallowed hard and huggled his knees up to his chestin a gesture that was uncharacteristically shy. “I, uh… well I mean I don’t mind that. But are you sure? After all it’s not like you have a lot of free time anyways.”

\t“Fewer shows with better production is always better overall. Quality over quantity and all that.” She held up a single finger to pause any argument. “Besides, I don’t trust some of those creeps in your chat. Especially when you let them dono to make you do kinky shit.”

\t“Oh come on.” he huffed “It’s not that bad. If they’re gonna pay for all the fantasy creature monster type toys and sexy outfits it’s only right they get to ‘make’ me use em how they want, right?”

\tBecky’s smile faded just as quicky as it had appeared. Cables thrashed about in front of her as she picked though the nest of disjointed and unlabeled thigns which had knotted themselves up behind the dresser. “’I’d love to see you in hell, eternally raped crosseyed by tentacles like that’? ‘Bet a gym full of horse cock would ruin you real good. We could get you a horse shoe tattoo lil size queen’? oh, or how about ‘I love the black lipstick. It will be so beautiful when you worship my cock, little one’?” An angry snort followed each quote. Becky’s paw trembled now and she threw the cable bundle away in frustration. It was all she could do to drag her laptop into her lap and aimlessly fiddle though the streaming programs she’d selected for Collin to use when he was streaming.

\t“They’re just being cute.” The red panda sitting on the bed cooed the words while swaying side to side.

\t“So, what. That’s how incels flirt now?” Becky’s tone growing a bit darker. She hated to use the word. But it wasn’t an idle accusation. She’d seen the way these fuckers talked about Collin, and Xiulan too. The homophobic and racist slurs were one thing. She knew they were things that the wah ended up enjoying. A likely result of Ms. Blake’s influence… though to her shame Bekcy had to admit she shared that to somem degree.

\tIt felt different though, imaginging it coming from some ratty house-feral looking 30 something bit-coin miner typing it all with their finger fur coaked in chicken tendie grease. Letting them pay to look was one thing. Maybe even give a few suggestions now and then. But they didn’t own Collin. The poor panda didn’t need to be their fetish object. Plenty of art existed for that. Or they could find their own partner who was into that suff. Or into not being into that stuff.

\tAt some point in her thought process Becky had lost track of Collin. It wasn’t quite clear how considering how small the room was. But the wah had made his way over and was now sat beside her, laying a head on her shoulder. All at once becky’s growing scowl melted and she slumped down in between the wall and the dresser.

\t“It’ll be ok.” Collin nodded “they just want to have a bit of fun. It’s all online. It’s all consensual. It’s all safe.”

\tIt was true. It was all true. So then Becky had to ask herself, why did it upset her so much?

\tShe knew why, and she hated herself for it.

---------------------

\tIt wouldn’t be unfair to call the teens ‘mall rats’. Possibly racist connotations of the name aside, Becky and her little circle of friends probably knew the mall back home better than most anyone around. It was even the reason for her favorite Romaro movie and one of her favorite game franchiess.

\tThe thing was, each mall was different. Unique even. An ecosystem made up of all strata from a community. It was great for people watching. Which was why she had come to a realization.

\tMichigan malls hit different.

\tMaybe not all of them. She hadn’t really seen them all. But there were others. The one in DC she’d been to when they went to visit family living in the area. The Mall of America because for some odd reason her aunt considered that an acceptable place to get married. Even an odd open air mall in Georgia. But the ones in Michigan always felt a bit different to her. A bit more like ‘home’. Crossroads wasn’t any different. Two stories but filled with the same kinds of people and the same kinds of shops. Screaming kids begging mohers for toys even without a proper toy store. Gen Xers and Mellenials looking to relive glory days. Teens waiting around for parents who were searching out bargain deals or drifting in to clothing shops in packs to seek out things they would never themselves buy.

\tShe didn’t know if Collin, who was indeed Collin at that moment, shared her feelings about malls. Probably not. It was a goofy state of mind after all. But he didn’t seem to mind a long walk around the place after their traditional stop at an Orange ulius.

\t“So mom is still talking about what to do with Grandpa Lockhart’s field.” Becky sighed wistfully. “Dad wants to let it just grow wild and try to get a tax write-off for it. See about getting it protected then letting the family do something with it later when someone has a good idea.”

\t“Are you worried about losing a prime filming space, Miss?”

\tBecky wasn’t sure if she should be pissed or pleased. The blush on her cheeks said the latter. It was, though, a very shallow assertion. It was also at least partially correct.

\t“I don’t know how much more ‘wild’ it could be. I mean I guess he’s thinking about putting up protected plants or something there. Which is fine, I suppose. But then what happens if one of the cousins figures out an actual use for it later. Maybe Ryan will go out there and build up some of those tiny houses to sell. Or we could do one of those u-pick fruit things. The place is already half covered in raspberries.”

\t“I’m sure they’ll let you keep filming there, Miss. Even if it ends up overgrown.”

\t“Just ddrink your Julius.” Becky sighed. Here she thought she’d tamed the brat, when suddenly a brand new form of brat evolved phantomlike from the old. Did all dominants have to deal wit this? She imagined Hui wasn’t anything like her older sibling. Which, naturally, led into a pool of thought Becky was quick to board over and utterly disavow for the rest of her god dman life if she could help it.

\tCollin did indeed take a hard sip while the two made their way out into the cold October sunlight “Is this really about the field?” he sighed. “It’s not like the highway isn’t littered with fields.

\t“Corn fields and loud traffic.” Becky corrected “But, no. I guess not. I think I’m ust kind of annoyed is all. It’s been forever and the only thing anyone can think of is ‘let it sit there’. People always act like change is a bad thing and it’s supposed to make you anxious. But what about a lack of change? What about stagnation? Am I the only one who really worries about things staying how they are?”

\t“Well, you and that Bastiel guy.” Collin chuckled. He quickly dived back into the safety of his drink, sipping hard while the two walked along side a risen cement curb used as a planter box.

\tBecky rolled her eyes and bit back a heavy sigh “I’m serious. Everyone I encounter during the week is all weepy and upset about how much they’re going to miss high school and how they’ll all miss each other like they don’t live ten fucking miles away. Half of them don’t even like each other.”

\t“I don’t think it’s about liking each other. I think it’s just what you said. They don’t want change. I mean, that makes a lot of sense, right?” Collin had dropped the ‘miss’. He’d also shifted his tone, though it was possible even he didn’t notice it.

\tIt was more than enough to throw Becky. She sipped down the last of her drink and tossed it in the trash can without even really processing it. Instead she circled around her date a bit as if trying to ascertane some meaning beyond the obvious.

\t“Well I know nostalgia is a thing. But that’s not how life works. It never is. You gotta enjoy things as they come, right?” Even as she said it she could see his mood souring. Every word hitting the exact wrong note. Becky instead smiled slightly and reached out to cup his cheek. “Look, I’m not trying to be mean. I just, I don’t get it. Staying the same can be comfortable. But it’s the kind of comfortable where you’re sitting in a recliner too long. Eventually it just turns bad. It starts to hurt. Everything feels wrong.”

\t“So you just throw everything out?”

\tBecky’s surprise quickly twisted into outright sohck. She sshook her head frantically and took a step back. “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. You don’t just throw the chair away, right? But you have to get up and move. You have to do ‘something’ other than ust sitting there.” The words, naturally, did nothing. If anything it only seemed to make things worse. Everything was a mine field at this point and she wasn’t sure what to say anymore. Instead, she slumped down and sighed with her head slipping into her paw. “This is about something, isn’t it?”

\tCollin’s face only grew more sullen. He tried to offer a smile, but any heart he may have put into it simply evaporated. “a lot of somethings.” He sighed “Though one thing is that you’re graduating Which means you’re gonna move.”

\t“Huh? Well, yeah. Isn’t that what you did?”

\t“To Kalamazoo. So long as the I-94 is clear that’s a nothing of a drive.” The point was emphasized by a quick flick of Collin’s bushy tail towards Becky. “You’re up here for a weekend and stopping for lunch probably doubled your trip time.”

\t“Now you’re just being hyperbolic.” Becky grabbed the tuft of Collin’s tail and gave it a tug, then shoved it away. “I had to plan all this out, and I had to make sure it wasn’t on a week when I had any serious homework. It’s not like I can just drop everything and come up here to see you any time I want.”

\t“You literally could” Collin whined “Any time you wanted.
\t
\t“Any time I‘m not swamped. You think that‘s gonna get any easier for me when I hit college?”

\tCollin shrugged “It might. College is pretty easy for me so far. Easy enough that I can work a side gig without any real issues.”

\t“Still not too comfortable with the guys in your chat.” Becky muttered

\t“I know. But my point is that college isn‘t the massive Sisyphean bolder we were always told it is. But if you move away…”((Start))

\t“That‘s just unfair.” Becky snapped “Especially since we both know you’re the smarter one here.“

\t“We don’t know that.“ Collin corrected

Becky ignored the comment and simply continued “Besides, even if we ignore the fact that we aren’t quite positive on what we are yet, the simple fact is that I’d be busy most of the time and so would you. I mean, it’s a silly worry anyways. Most of my choices weren’t really that far away. University of Michigan. Grand Valley. I even put in to Western as a safety school.”

\t“And Cal-arts.” Collin nearly spat the words

\t“Well yeah. The west coast is where you go to get the connections for the industry. I mean I have to take that chance. But you say that like we’d be seeing each other all the time if I got in to most places. I put in at UCLA and Cal-arts. Honestly part of me is pretty curious about directing animation. But I don’t know if I’d want that for sure. I don’t know what I want to make exactly.” Becky pulled her leg up and hooked the arch of her shoe on the solid cement slab. Every position she took and every move she made left her feeling uncomfortable. Each one a bit worse than the last. The smile on her face kept flickering while she tried to find just the right spot to shift her weight and balance out her nerves.

\tWhen Becky began talking again, her voice was masked. A well practiced tone that still cracked and twisted at its edges. Words she‘d clearly practiced thousands of times in the mirror in the hopes that they might end up sounding something akin to authentic. “It’s not like I could see you all the time with most of these schools. Maybe at Western, sure. But a drive from Grand Valley or somewhere further would functionally be just much of a time sink as flying in from Cali. We already talk mostly over the net anyways, right?”

\tHer date said nothing in response. The red panda rocked and swayed back and forth a bit. Every once in a while poking at his inner cheek with his tongue. Rolling it up and down idly “I get what you’re saying.” He finally muttered “But you know it doesn’t work that way. You know only one of us has any idea what the fuck they’re doing.”

\t“I thought you were going to med school.” Becky blinked

\t“I’m doing pre-med because my parents want me to.” Collin corrected “And honeslty I’m not trying all that hard. ‘Oh yes, Miss Jane Q Eurofur. I’ll be happy to help you. Don’t worry, I already know your husband will accuse me of being a communist on the drive back. I’m used to it. So feel free to just sit right there whiel I spend the next half hour of my life slowly trying to convince you that your baby needs their fucking MMR vaccine to avoid dying. I’ll even do it with a smile. Because your kid could fucking die if you get offended and decide to ignore basic medical advice out of petty spite!’” Collin punctuated the little rant with a hard drag on his Orange Julius. The frothy fruity mix gurgling the last of itself up the straw, which only made the wah suck harder out of spite.

\t“You, uh, you thought a lot about this, huh?“ Becky sighed. In a perfect world she would have given an order. She wasn’t sure what it’d be. Just something that would help put Collin into a headspace not full of such rage and hate.

\tCollin’s first response was a hard football-style toss of his drink cup towards the nearby trash can. It bounced off and he grumbled to himself. He tried to settle in, glancing back at Becky while trying to make it seem as if he wasn’t doing just that. When that failed, he picked himself up and walked the two feet needed to thrwo the thing away. All the while his body took on a posture less of submission and more of just general defeat.

\t“I don’t want tht to be my life.” The boy finally sighed. “Not just because I’m worried that it’d end up getting me stuck in one role all the time. Because the one thing I’m sure people around here would love more than a Chinese doctor is a Chinese gender fluid doctor.”

\t“Alternative take, epic idea for the new Dr. Who.” Becky chimed in.

\tCollin wasn’t having it. He’d already began pacing, wandering, not moving too far from his date but not really looking at her either. “I don’t know if I’m Collin, or if I’m Xiulan, or if I’m both. Yet here I am and I’m supposed to be all set on some life path.”

\tBecky smiled warmly and pulled herself up from the cement. “Everyone has to take time and figure those things out though-”

\t“You don’t!” Collin corrected “You have a demo reel and everything. Even if half of it is just Esme and my lil sis dicking around in costumes. That’s better than anything Zack Snyder has done lately. Esme, well, we all know she’s gonna be an actress. Hell even mister shonen protagonist is actually focusing on something other than punching ‘bad guys’ and proving he’s the toughest.”

\tThere wasn’t much of anything Becky could say to that. She wanted to reach out, to wrap her hands around him. She wanted to do something, anything at all. The abject pain of actually seeing Collin like this was something she hadn’t expected. In fact it wasn’t something she’d ever considered before that moment if she were to be totally honest with herself.

\t“I don’t” she sighed “I mean it’s not… it’s not that simple. Right? I mean you know it’s not that simple. Everyone figures things out at a different rate.” One frustration about being short was that stupid little evolutionary niche which made her feel weaker when trying to be the strong and comforting one. Becky’s arm pulled itself firmly around Collin and pulled him down a bit. Instead he slumped down against the cement curb and leaned himself back against it with his tail curled over and rolling against the collection of leaves and twigs occupying the shoddily kept planter.

\t“I always thought this was supposed to be easy.” He sighed. “I thought it was supposed to be so fucking easy. Do what my folks say. Get an education. Get the job they want. Then I win. I get it first while Justin is still trying to figure things out and fucking up. I get it before Hui is old enough. Then the hard work is worth it because I win. But I didn’t win. She… she ‘showed’ me I was holding myself back.” There was no need to specify who he meant. Especially not with Becky tensing up aginst him. That small sliver of hate radiating out from her.

\tThe two sat quiet for a long while. Collin half-retreated into his sweater while he focused on the texture difference between his jeans and the rough stone-shod cement every time he moved. Becky, for her part, simply rocked a bit and flicked at the sidewalk with her heel, not really paying much attention to the cold seeping in though her jeans.

\t“I know you don’t like her.” Collin finally sighed. “It’s ok. I don’t expect you to. It wouldn’t be right for me to ask you to.”
 
\t“What she did was wrong.” Becky growled

\t“I know that” the boy barked back. “But… But you have to understand that I feel… I don’t know. I don’t feel as trapped now. I feel like I can figure out who I am. That’s scary! I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore!”

\tEverything fell silent again. Becky was suddenly swept up in a wave of guilt. She wasn’t supposed to be hearing this. It all felt like a confession blurted out in the middle of a church by people who did that kind of confessional thing. She looked into his eyes. When he tried to look away she grabbed him. Grabbed his muzzle hard and pulled it back into place. She gazed at him. She let her eyes focus deeply, boring into his soul. The young woman sucked in all that she saw with the voracity of a sin-eater. Her heart ached as she tried to will all of tha pain and doubt and every other confused twisted ‘thing’ in the poor boy to flow out of him and into her. At least that’s what the still rational part of her mind tried to say. That was the objective context she tried so hard to place on this stirring of irrational feelings.

\tIt was all ok. It ‘would’ all be ok. She was here for him. A thousand pat, trite responses flooded her lips and died just as quickly. Words that meant nothing. Feelings that meant nothing. Everything she could possibly do was meaningless. So she did the only thing her body would allow.

\tThey kissed. Her lips touching his. Pressing in forcefully. Chapped, cola-lip-balm stained lips smashed awkwardly into Collin’s Her strong paws grabbed on to him and pulled him close. She drank in his shocked gasp and rolled her tongue on his. Forcing it in. The kind of claiming she felt was as wrong as could be given the cercumstances. Yet it was also the onl thing she could do. It was the only thing her body would allow.

\tShe held him firmly and traced his tongue. Her whole body heaved deep ragged breaths. Her eyes smashed tight and her face blazing with a blush it almost never saw. God help her, she enjoyed feeling him struggle. A few twitches and squirms before he went wonderfully limp in her arms. Sobbing, trembling, and greatfully submitting just to her.


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