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Sorry", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Guess which one of the Keyholder cast we catch up with next!

Things have changed alot, and it's not clear how much more they may change going forwards.

Also I think I hammered the Stephen King a bit hard in this. Sorry", "writing": "Collared Chapter 4: Song of Xiulan\nBy TerraMGP\n\n\tPublic transit was a strange animal. It was something most people would never really notice. Those who did likely dulled to it quickly. A simple bus rolled along its pre planned route for what was probably the tenth time that day. Beaten-down furs too poor for a car sat and stood scattered about the dingy grey box. It was easy for a person to blend in among them. People in blacks, browns and greys. The few splashes of red or blue came from people going to Meijer or Walmart for work. Nobody looked particularly ‘happy’ to be there. Faces were glued to phones or slumped down in a state of near coma as passengers tried to ignore the ride.\n\n\tOne figure was an exception to this. A red panda girl sat at the back of the bus. Her blue bangs peaking out of a pink beanie. She sported a baggy tee shirt over a mesh top, the pink shirt mostly covering a blue mini skirt which in turn covered black leggings with holes haphazardly gashed into the fabric at various points to show fur.\n\n\tThe girl bobbed her head along with the music blaring in her headphones. Bright blue painted claw tips flicked though the pages of a heavy hard cover book.\n\n\t‘Wolves of the Calla’. The tattered cover showed a faded image of a woman in a wheelchair depicted from behind. A thick sheet of plastic had been fixed over the book cover with a dewy decimal code label imprinted into the plastic at the lower part of the spine. The girl showed little regard for the already stressed condition of the book. She was absorbing the words on the page, humming along to the song in her ears. Shutting out the world like everyone else. Yet in her own mind she stood out. Just like the book, she was far more than what people might see from the cover.\n\n\tSomething about it all put the world into synch. The girl moved with an effortless purpose. A smooth line of pastel pink and blue carelessly slipping to her feet and walking out as the bus hit her stop. She could almost feel the colors feeling as if they streamed and bled off behind her while she strode forwards though the thin crowds of drab every furs. Her soft nut-brown eyes never once looked up from the pages of her book as the song ‘Burn my dread’ themed her movements along the rows of old shops and down the hill towards her destination.\n\n\tThat beat floated the girl all the way into the small medical center. The soundtrack carried the world from beat to beat until a figure in her peripheral vision finally broke it.\n\n\t“Ms. Sang?”\n\n\tThe receptionist hung out the door, looking around at the few people crowded up. \n\n\tWith the intense flood of stimulation going on, the wah was shocked she‘d even heard the name called. Her mind pulled up from the sea of distraction long enough to give an affirming nod and follow the woman down to the office at the end of the hall where her psych resided.\n\n\t“Afternoon.” Doctor Kent nodded and slipped herself down in her usual chair. The bovine woman, a heavyset bison creeping up on the latter half of middle age, smiled brightly all the same as she went though a few things on her work laptop. Most likely checking in her newest patient, Kathoey figured.\n\n\t“So before we start, I just want to verify that Tuesdays aren’t good for you, right?” She asked\n\n\tThe wah nodded and pulled her legs up on to the couch. Knees to chest, something she’d been doing quite a bit more lately.\n\n\t“Ok.” Dr. Kent smiled as she turned back. “I have a couple of new patients and I’m trying to get schedules down. It can be hectic sometimes. So, Ms. Sang. I assume it’s still ok to use Ms. This time?”\n\n\tKathy nodded emphatically to the question as she smiled to the kind woman.\n\n\t“Good. If nothing else you seem far more relaxed than you were at the start of things here. I take it you’re feeling a bit more comfortable?” Dr. Kent pulled a tablet into her lap and fiddled around for her stylus. Never really breaking eye contact from her patient as she did so.\n\n\t“You mean since I moved up here? Or…” Kathy asked\n\n\t“Either.” The doctor shrugged\n\n\tThe young patient smiled from between her knees and rested her muzzle on the edge of them, nodding as best she could in such a position. “Kalamazoo is… different. I mean It’s a lot different living here vs. the occasional trip up from home. It was always just one of those ‘places’. Like when mom would drive us up to see something at the museum in Grand Rapids because Chicago is way too far to drive.”\n\n\tDr. Kent smirked a bit and put the stylus up to her lower lip “I didn’t think it was that far away.” She shrugged “I mean, Chicago is like a couple hours drive isn’t it?”\n\n\t“Maybe to get to the outskirts.” The wah snorted back a laugh. “Traffic can take hours. Though I guess maybe that’s true of GR. I donno. We don’t really go anywhere like that much. But like I said it’s different when you live here. I can get all the way here from my campus from the bus. It’s small but it’s not too bad. Plus I have a friend up here I can hitch a ride from.”\n\n\tKathy turned her attention from the doctor to one of the little toys sitting around on the various tables. One of the little games full of water where air bubbles would knock some rings over a peg. She began to mess with it while her doctor took notes. It was one thing she had noticed compared to her few sessions with her high school therapist in those last months before graduation. Notes. Always recording. Always meticulous. The kind of attention to detail she’d forced herself to endure all though high school. Hell, ever since grade school. \n\n\t“You know it’s funny.” The red panda girl sniffed a bit “I remember when I was little and I was hanging out with a friend of mine at his house. Sometimes his mom would put on that Frasier show. Growing up I guess that was always how I thought therapy worked. You tell people something and they give you some answer and it all works out.”\n\n\t“Pop psychiatry, maybe.” Dr. Kent noted “Actually I remember watching that show quite a bit while working on my degree. It’s a lot funnier now that I’m older and realize how bad the main character was at his job. Well, more I suppose that his job was a bad form of treatment.” She set the pad down a moment and leaned in. Her hands folded into her lap as she offered a nice big smile and scooted a bit closer. “I told you when you started that this was going to be a good deal of work. I am pretty sure Ms. Garcia was quite clear on that when she talked to you about it too. I’m honestly glad that didn’t scare you off. Because I’ve seen that happen before. Especially for people like you dealing with bigger issues.”\n\n\t“Yeah. You did.” Kathy nodded. She looked at the doctor’s big brown eyes though the odd warping prism of plastic and water.\n\n\t“You told me during our first visit that you didn’t think these issues were that big.” The doctor noted\n\n\tKathy wrinkled her nose and huffed a bit. “Collin said that.” She corrected\n\n\t“Right” The doctor nodded “But as we established even in that first session, this isn’t an issue of DID. Which honestly I’m grateful that you recognize. There are more than a few people these days who simply try to feign what the movies tell them DID is in order to seem ‘cool’ or ‘different’.”\n\n\tThe water game fell flat on the couch as Kathy let her legs slump forwards. She leaned in to the doctor now, the grin on her face twisting her face markings almost unnaturally. The darker fur looking almost painted on wrong. “I can be cool however I want now, Dr. Kent. I don’t have my parents breathing down my neck or some creepy little pervert sister flaunting herself around with how she can be a girl all the time.”\n\n\t“I remember you’d mentioned before that your sister is aware of your dysphoria. As is her boyfriend. I can assume neither of them have expressed any real concern with that?” The doctor asked\n\n\tIt wasn’t a question Kathy was prepared for. She offered a bit of a hollow smile and shook her head. “Hui has no room to talk. Neither of them do. But I… I don’t ‘think’ they have any problem with it.”\n\n\tDr. Kent raised an eyebrow “You don’t think?” She asked\n\n\tKathy sighed and held up her book for a moment. “Sis kinda pushed me to start reading these. She got really mad at me one day because I was just reveling in being ‘Kathy’ and dropped the first three into my lap; We were in the library, see. So she basically just demanded I check them out. I’m not really complaining, mind you. Stephen King is a good read.”\n\n\tThe doctor nodded solemnly “That’s not why she had you read it though, I assume?”\n\n\tKathy sighed and smiled bitterly “I can guess why she wanted me to read it, doc. In fact I’m already past the part she was probably thinking of. You don’t mind spoilers, do you?”\n\n\tThere was a small snorted laugh from the bison. Her chair creaked out a scream of protest at the stifled laugh and how it made her body shift. “Sorry.” Dr. Kent sighed. “I just really do not have the time to read doorstops, even fun ones. At least not until I retire. Go ahead, spoil away.”\n\n\t“Well the short story is you have a really nice, kind, helpful civil rights activist who can’t walk. And you have her evil DID side that formed when a bunch of racists assaulted her. Then at one point they kinda fuse into someone who’s a lot more like the normal self but is in the end her own person. I guess.”\n\n\t“Yep!” Dr. Kent snickered “Sounds like when they made us read ‘the stand’ in high school. I am curious what you think your sister was trying to tell you with that, though.”\n\n\t“You don’t think it’s obvious?” Kathy blinked\n\n\t“I never met the woman.” Dr. Kent shrugged.\n\n\tIn spite of herself, Kathy burst out laughing. It started slow at first. A small chuckle, before breaking into a full laugh, and then finally having her doubled over and struggling to stay upright on the couch.\n\n\tDr. Kent looked on with growing confusion and no small amount of concern. “I say something funny?” she muttered awkwardly.\n\n\tIt still took a while for Kathy to right herself. A while still before she’d fully caught her breath. She shook her head, face now plastered with an impossibly broad grin. “Sorry, I just… you called her a Woman. Sis isn’t… I mean ok technically she’s over 18 now. Barely So legally speaking she is a woman. But if you met her.” She bit back another chuckle “Hui Sang is about as far from ‘woman’ as you can get. That girl wouldn’t know maturity or responsibility if you dressed it up as one of her anime character crushes and stuck fake fairy wings on it for good measure.”\n\n\tThe comments seemed to just bounce off of the doctor, save for a few stray notes she put down. She waited patiently for Kathy to right herself before resuming her line of questioning. “I think we may have to have some discussions about your sister at some point.” Dr. Kent noted “But that can be for a later date. For now, why don’t we move on a bit so you can tell me about your week.”\n\n--------------------\n\n\tCollin wasn’t quite sure when he was Collin again. It was an odd thought to have. It made him feel a bit like a freak to really ‘have’ that kind of a thought in the first place. He assumed it was just some artifact. Collin still had his uses after all. Like when the family took two weeks to visit back to China. Mom and dad would be a hard enough sell with Kathy. Grandpa? Considering the way the wah’s father talked about the stubborn ‘traditionalist’ repair man grandpa, Collin was pretty sure he’d never make it back to the states if Kathy showed up during that trip.\n\n\tBut there were other uses to that ‘old’ self beyond avoiding family drama. Kinks, for example. In theory a good little fucktoy should have limits only for an owner to shatter them. That’s what every scrap of media said. Smokey makeup and traumatized whimpers were some of the biggest turn-ons out there for a real sadist. Naturally the red panda wanted to give those real sadists what they wanted. The desire to be the best little masochist dolly imaginable was oh so very strong. Yet some things were more of a turn on than others. Collin, for example, seemed to enjoy being misgendered and having his sexuality called into question. All in the most horrible ways imaginable.\n\n\tThat part was a struggle. For now, Collin was avoiding the cage. It was both a wonderful and horrible feeling to have control of that cute little dick again. It felt unnatural, but it was important. The next person to lock that faggie little fuck stick up needed to be someone he could trust. Someone who understood how important it was. He needed it to be someone who would claim the broken little doll as their own. Maybe someone like Becky.\n\n\t“Ok, later.” Collin muttered to himself. This was all getting off track, and he had a job to do.\n\n\tHe pulled a long plastic crate out from under his bed and began removing worn acoustic tiles from it. They were ratty old things gotten second hand off of the internet. Many of them torn in several places. But they were what he had.\n\n\tThe boy began to stick them up to the walls using a small container of blutack. Once the room was as soundproofed as he was going to get it, he went for his dresser and pulled out a light ring stashed in the bottom drawer. “Show time.” He murred to himself while looking though the simple little tool.\n\n\tIn all it took only half an hour to get the room set exactly how it should be. The camera and light ring were set up on the study desk next to the bed. Foam tiles ensured that nobody could hear him, though ’Hiram Edson bible college’ really didn’t have that many students to actually notice right now. The array of plush toys Collin allowed himself, themselves, to have had all been set up strategically on the bed. This included a life size plush toy of a large feral Doberman. The cloth and stuffing puppo was a good body pillow, but more than that he became quite the pretty prop with a simple strap-on and properly dog-shaped dildo.\n\n\tEventually it was all set. Face mask, cute schoolgirl uniform, phone in a rig with a big ring light. The wah took a cute yet slutty pose, kneeling with his legs spread and doing an ahegao face behind the mask while the stream started up. \n\n\tOnlyfurs. Probably the only real place a college kid like him could stream nudes and sex acts on the regular and make some damn money off of it. \n\n\t‘It’s party time again!’\n\n\t‘There’s my favorite cockhole’\n\n\t‘It’s so romantic when she does this’\n\n\t‘First’\n\n\tAll manner of comments streamed into the chat, and some were repeated into Collin’s earbuds.\n\n\t“Good morning boys and girls. Mmm but let’s be real, mostly boys” the wah cooed while leaning down, letting his bare chest show off though the neck hole of the girly shirt. So many of the names were familiar by now. ‘Sofboylover’, ‘Xx_Dark_Angel_Kadaj_xX’, ‘Totallynotafed’. It was admittedly a bit of a pain to remember them all, but he still tried. After all, they were all so devoted.\n\n\t“So then, for all of you wondering the dragon dildo you guys got me hasn’t arrived yet. But I’ll be checking my PO box later just in case. For now though I think we’ll start with some body writing. Remember it’s 20 bucks a phrase, so let’s see how many nasty things you can all make before my next class!”\n\n\tCollin took a few breaths. If he could switch back to Kathy right now he probably would. It’s what people wanted to see. But he did kind of hope at least someone would want to shame him in boy mode. Even if none of them could possibly understand what that meant. After all, he sure as hell didn’t.\n\n--------------------\n\n\tSome things hadn’t quite changed yet for ‘Kathy’. She stood there outside of her dorm waiting patiently for the familiar sight of an old 80s Corvette. All the while she fiddled with hr phone, bouncing between the various Nintendo property themed mobile games she’d been toying with. It felt kind of good. No longer did she have to struggle with swapping out clothes or carrying a small backpack when Justin was giving her a ride out. At the same time the comfortable familiarity of worn old car seats and the smell of leather-scented car air freshener was wonderfully nostalgic.\n\n\tEven more nostalgic was the sight of Justin. The otter boy had tossed his trademark coat behind the seat and was sitting behind the wheel as a big ball of grease and mussed fur. Different from the edge lord he’d been back home, but still no less grumpy.\n\n\t“Rough day at work?” Kathy snickered\n\n\t“I know I’m the new guy, but when someone asks ‘did you wire the starter’ maybe it should be taken as a genuine reminder and not some kid getting uppity.” Justin sighed. He let his forehead fall into the wheel of his car and groaned in frustration, then turned his gaze back to the wah sitting shotgun. “We were half way done disassembling the thing before the boss man came and checked it. Tony got so pissed he basically ‘let’ me reassemble the whole engine because he thought I was being a smartass.”\n\n\tKathy giggled and nodded. She flicked at her phone a few moments and then nodded to Justin. The otter paused to pull his phone out and then tilted his head when the paypal notification came up.\n\n\t“I’m doing ok right now.” Kathy shrugged “And you are being nice enough to play Uber.”\n\n\tWith that the two were off. Justin’s mood improved a touch, but only a touch. The red panda sat there looking at her best friend sidelong while tapping on her phone. Not too long ago she’d have been thrilled at the sight. At the care free, easy going Justin finally having to ‘work’ for what he had. The idea of pressure starting to take its toll after years of coasting and dealing with overly lenient parents.\n\n\tIt was a very ‘Kathy’ thought. The problem was, the Wah wasn’t thinking it. If anything the sight of the mussed boy winding them along though the mean streets of Kzoo made her want to go up to this ‘Tony’ person and give him a good smack in the mouth for his behavior. Justin was trying his best, right? Plus he had school, which most of the troglodytes giving him shit probably hadn’t finished or even started. How dare someone give this poor water dog so much shit just for asking a valid question. Especially when it turned out he was right.\n\n\t“Fuck.” the wah sighed.\n\n\t“Something wrong?” Justin blinked\n\n\tMuch to her shock, the girl snickered a bit. She slumped down in her seat and racked her brain for a distraction.\n\n\t“Just kind of stressful I guess, trying to juggle the whole Onlyfurs thing with school.”\n\n\tJustin snerked and shook his head. “You mean the school not finding out, I take it?”\n\n\t“Oh like they can afford to kick anyone out.” she scoffed. Though that wasn’t entirely true.\n\n\t“Is that why you didn’t go to Andrews?” Justin snickered\n\n\tThe wah wrinkled her nose and scrunched her face up at the very mention of the notorious university. It didn’t need to be said why she’d avoided the Adventist school Mecca like the Nurglish Rot. The very idea of being mired in a sea of SDA tryhards for her entire post-secondary education was borderline traumatic!\n\n\tIt was clear to the red panda that her friend was all too aware of this when he made the comment. A smug smirk on his face as he let the image of more stuffy boy clothes and bible-thumping teachers reporting back to mom and dad while pushing Millerite doctrine at every god damn turn. Edson may be small and virtually unknown. But it was a way to get undergrad shit done without mom and dad complaining, and they were too understaffed and underfunded to play police with all of their students.\n\n\tJustin ran a greasy paw though his own mop of blonde headfur, then winced in instant regret as he did so. The reflexive action had now put a good deal of motor grease into his hair and probably just caused him more problems for the night. “Ya know, I really am kind of impressed with you pulling this off. I just hope it’s not too much shit for you down the road.”\n\n\t“What?” Kathy blinked “Think I can’t handle a few horny boys?”\n\n\t“It’s not that.” Justin sighed, shaking his head ruefully “I mean not really at least. But that does seem like a perfect breeding ground for just the biggest and deepest parasocial hell.”\n\n\t“So you don’t think I can behave myself?” Kathy cooed, that one at least feeling like a genuine Kathy moment.\n\n\t“Oh you can handle yourself just fine. It’s them I worry about.” Justin huffed\n\n\tKathy paused and put a finger to her lips, glancing up at the car roof. “You don’t think the boys can behave themselves then? Here I thought you got over that knight in shining armor’ complex.”\n\n\t“It was never shining.” Justin snickered “And you know if shit ever gets too bad I have your back, sis. But you know what Channers and Reddit-bros are like. Kinda why I opted to try it in-person instead. Worse comes to worse I can…”\n\n\t“Kick their asses?” Kathy interrupted\n\n\t“Give a proper description to the cops.” Justin finished “Look, I know I’ve been a dumbass most of my life, but I at the very least realize if someone is going to be an obsessive stalker they may have a gun or something. I’m not Goku. I can’t dodge bullets”\n\n\t“But you are tough enough to head butt an NBA draft pick.” The wah giggled.\n\n\tJustin blushed a bit at that. He went very quiet and slumped back into his seat.\n\n\tKathy giggled, but she didn’t press it further. It was a shock to find out that the asshole who’d attacked her sister a year ago was now a draft pick. It seemed like the kind of thing that should come out when investigating that. More shocking, though, was just how chill her friend was being about the fact that he took on some pro athlete. Technically.\n\n\tThe trip fell mostly quiet after that. Most of it due to Justin’s need to focus on the notorious hell road that was Westnedge. It was in that quiet where the thoughts started to creep in again. How so little of this felt like ‘Kathy’. Lately every time she’d gotten into girl mode it had felt harder and harder to be that snaky, superior, uppity little brat princess she was supposed to be. \n\n\tIt had been such a blur since last year. Not that long ago they were just two nerdy boys getting blackmailed into some shit by their gym teacher. Two teens barely past the mark of adulthood in age, half-forced and half diving into a sea of confusing perversions with a guide they had only known as the sadistic bitch making them run laps. Both of them had grown up so much since then. It felt like they should have all of the answers by now. Maybe Justin did. The way the otter boy had gone from a depressed bundle of edge lord into someone willing to work two jobs and go to school just to get a degree. \n\n\tHere Kathy was, not even comfortable in her ‘proper’ gender all the time. All the while her mind drifting back to those books. Her thoughts hovering on what it was her sister was trying to tell her. \n\n\t“You doin ok?” Justin blinked as he pulled them off of the main road and into the mall parking lot.\n\n\tThe girl looked up and nodded dumbly. “Do I not look ok?” She muttered.\n\n\t“You don’t sound it.” Justin noted “Not getting car sick are you?”\n\n\tKathy would have smashed that easy opening at a catty insult. But the wah didn’t. She hadn’t flipped to boy mode. She wasn’t too sick to say anything. She just… didn’t. Didn’t feel the way she thought she should have. She hadn’t been feeling it for a while, if she were honest with herself. Her friend’s concerned face faded into the background as Kathy, or whoever she was at that moment, gazed into the worn old plastic of the dash. Questions continued to run though her mind, and each time they did she almost dared to voice them only to fall silent again and smirk sullenly.\n\n\tThe otter boy was at least polite enough to recognize the consternation and keep quiet. Sadly that only made things worse. Kathy would have mockingly offered him a blowie for being such a ‘noble little prince’. Collin would have given his lifelong best friend and sometimes Sir a sheepish ‘thank you’ and blown it all off. So who the fuck was this girl now? Sitting there in the car. Lost in her own thoughts for the thousandth time. \n\n\t“I guess I have a lot on my mind.” she finally muttered. Understatement of the year. She felt an arm wrap around her shoulders with a brotherly side-hug and offered a timid smile in return. Her eyes quickly sank back to the footwell of the car while she flicked her shoes against each other in some kind of pathetic nervous tic. Something her body had apparently decided was all it could muster to burn off the growing anxiety of thought.\n\n\tFinally she looked up at him. There were thousands of questions swirling in the girl’s mind. Thousands of things she wanted, needed a friend to help her with. The quiet trip though dense traffic had apparently given her subconscious mind far too much time without proper distraction and it was all flooding to the surface.\n\n\tKathy, or whoever she was, pulled her tail back around her from the seat hole and warpped it around herself. She pulled her knees to her chest, sitting silently for what felt like ages. When she finally spoke, it felt a bit distant and filled with a bitter laughter she wasn’t fully feeling. “So, Justin.” She sighed “I’m wondering. What do you think about the name Xiulan?”\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Collared Chapter 4: Song of Xiulan
By TerraMGP

\tPublic transit was a strange animal. It was something most people would never really notice. Those who did likely dulled to it quickly. A simple bus rolled along its pre planned route for what was probably the tenth time that day. Beaten-down furs too poor for a car sat and stood scattered about the dingy grey box. It was easy for a person to blend in among them. People in blacks, browns and greys. The few splashes of red or blue came from people going to Meijer or Walmart for work. Nobody looked particularly ‘happy’ to be there. Faces were glued to phones or slumped down in a state of near coma as passengers tried to ignore the ride.

\tOne figure was an exception to this. A red panda girl sat at the back of the bus. Her blue bangs peaking out of a pink beanie. She sported a baggy tee shirt over a mesh top, the pink shirt mostly covering a blue mini skirt which in turn covered black leggings with holes haphazardly gashed into the fabric at various points to show fur.

\tThe girl bobbed her head along with the music blaring in her headphones. Bright blue painted claw tips flicked though the pages of a heavy hard cover book.

\t‘Wolves of the Calla’. The tattered cover showed a faded image of a woman in a wheelchair depicted from behind. A thick sheet of plastic had been fixed over the book cover with a dewy decimal code label imprinted into the plastic at the lower part of the spine. The girl showed little regard for the already stressed condition of the book. She was absorbing the words on the page, humming along to the song in her ears. Shutting out the world like everyone else. Yet in her own mind she stood out. Just like the book, she was far more than what people might see from the cover.

\tSomething about it all put the world into synch. The girl moved with an effortless purpose. A smooth line of pastel pink and blue carelessly slipping to her feet and walking out as the bus hit her stop. She could almost feel the colors feeling as if they streamed and bled off behind her while she strode forwards though the thin crowds of drab every furs. Her soft nut-brown eyes never once looked up from the pages of her book as the song ‘Burn my dread’ themed her movements along the rows of old shops and down the hill towards her destination.

\tThat beat floated the girl all the way into the small medical center. The soundtrack carried the world from beat to beat until a figure in her peripheral vision finally broke it.

\t“Ms. Sang?”

\tThe receptionist hung out the door, looking around at the few people crowded up.

\tWith the intense flood of stimulation going on, the wah was shocked she‘d even heard the name called. Her mind pulled up from the sea of distraction long enough to give an affirming nod and follow the woman down to the office at the end of the hall where her psych resided.

\t“Afternoon.” Doctor Kent nodded and slipped herself down in her usual chair. The bovine woman, a heavyset bison creeping up on the latter half of middle age, smiled brightly all the same as she went though a few things on her work laptop. Most likely checking in her newest patient, Kathoey figured.

\t“So before we start, I just want to verify that Tuesdays aren’t good for you, right?” She asked

\tThe wah nodded and pulled her legs up on to the couch. Knees to chest, something she’d been doing quite a bit more lately.

\t“Ok.” Dr. Kent smiled as she turned back. “I have a couple of new patients and I’m trying to get schedules down. It can be hectic sometimes. So, Ms. Sang. I assume it’s still ok to use Ms. This time?”

\tKathy nodded emphatically to the question as she smiled to the kind woman.

\t“Good. If nothing else you seem far more relaxed than you were at the start of things here. I take it you’re feeling a bit more comfortable?” Dr. Kent pulled a tablet into her lap and fiddled around for her stylus. Never really breaking eye contact from her patient as she did so.

\t“You mean since I moved up here? Or…” Kathy asked

\t“Either.” The doctor shrugged

\tThe young patient smiled from between her knees and rested her muzzle on the edge of them, nodding as best she could in such a position. “Kalamazoo is… different. I mean It’s a lot different living here vs. the occasional trip up from home. It was always just one of those ‘places’. Like when mom would drive us up to see something at the museum in Grand Rapids because Chicago is way too far to drive.”

\tDr. Kent smirked a bit and put the stylus up to her lower lip “I didn’t think it was that far away.” She shrugged “I mean, Chicago is like a couple hours drive isn’t it?”

\t“Maybe to get to the outskirts.” The wah snorted back a laugh. “Traffic can take hours. Though I guess maybe that’s true of GR. I donno. We don’t really go anywhere like that much. But like I said it’s different when you live here. I can get all the way here from my campus from the bus. It’s small but it’s not too bad. Plus I have a friend up here I can hitch a ride from.”

\tKathy turned her attention from the doctor to one of the little toys sitting around on the various tables. One of the little games full of water where air bubbles would knock some rings over a peg. She began to mess with it while her doctor took notes. It was one thing she had noticed compared to her few sessions with her high school therapist in those last months before graduation. Notes. Always recording. Always meticulous. The kind of attention to detail she’d forced herself to endure all though high school. Hell, ever since grade school.

\t“You know it’s funny.” The red panda girl sniffed a bit “I remember when I was little and I was hanging out with a friend of mine at his house. Sometimes his mom would put on that Frasier show. Growing up I guess that was always how I thought therapy worked. You tell people something and they give you some answer and it all works out.”

\t“Pop psychiatry, maybe.” Dr. Kent noted “Actually I remember watching that show quite a bit while working on my degree. It’s a lot funnier now that I’m older and realize how bad the main character was at his job. Well, more I suppose that his job was a bad form of treatment.” She set the pad down a moment and leaned in. Her hands folded into her lap as she offered a nice big smile and scooted a bit closer. “I told you when you started that this was going to be a good deal of work. I am pretty sure Ms. Garcia was quite clear on that when she talked to you about it too. I’m honestly glad that didn’t scare you off. Because I’ve seen that happen before. Especially for people like you dealing with bigger issues.”

\t“Yeah. You did.” Kathy nodded. She looked at the doctor’s big brown eyes though the odd warping prism of plastic and water.

\t“You told me during our first visit that you didn’t think these issues were that big.” The doctor noted

\tKathy wrinkled her nose and huffed a bit. “Collin said that.” She corrected

\t“Right” The doctor nodded “But as we established even in that first session, this isn’t an issue of DID. Which honestly I’m grateful that you recognize. There are more than a few people these days who simply try to feign what the movies tell them DID is in order to seem ‘cool’ or ‘different’.”

\tThe water game fell flat on the couch as Kathy let her legs slump forwards. She leaned in to the doctor now, the grin on her face twisting her face markings almost unnaturally. The darker fur looking almost painted on wrong. “I can be cool however I want now, Dr. Kent. I don’t have my parents breathing down my neck or some creepy little pervert sister flaunting herself around with how she can be a girl all the time.”

\t“I remember you’d mentioned before that your sister is aware of your dysphoria. As is her boyfriend. I can assume neither of them have expressed any real concern with that?” The doctor asked

\tIt wasn’t a question Kathy was prepared for. She offered a bit of a hollow smile and shook her head. “Hui has no room to talk. Neither of them do. But I… I don’t ‘think’ they have any problem with it.”

\tDr. Kent raised an eyebrow “You don’t think?” She asked

\tKathy sighed and held up her book for a moment. “Sis kinda pushed me to start reading these. She got really mad at me one day because I was just reveling in being ‘Kathy’ and dropped the first three into my lap; We were in the library, see. So she basically just demanded I check them out. I’m not really complaining, mind you. Stephen King is a good read.”

\tThe doctor nodded solemnly “That’s not why she had you read it though, I assume?”

\tKathy sighed and smiled bitterly “I can guess why she wanted me to read it, doc. In fact I’m already past the part she was probably thinking of. You don’t mind spoilers, do you?”

\tThere was a small snorted laugh from the bison. Her chair creaked out a scream of protest at the stifled laugh and how it made her body shift. “Sorry.” Dr. Kent sighed. “I just really do not have the time to read doorstops, even fun ones. At least not until I retire. Go ahead, spoil away.”

\t“Well the short story is you have a really nice, kind, helpful civil rights activist who can’t walk. And you have her evil DID side that formed when a bunch of racists assaulted her. Then at one point they kinda fuse into someone who’s a lot more like the normal self but is in the end her own person. I guess.”

\t“Yep!” Dr. Kent snickered “Sounds like when they made us read ‘the stand’ in high school. I am curious what you think your sister was trying to tell you with that, though.”

\t“You don’t think it’s obvious?” Kathy blinked

\t“I never met the woman.” Dr. Kent shrugged.

\tIn spite of herself, Kathy burst out laughing. It started slow at first. A small chuckle, before breaking into a full laugh, and then finally having her doubled over and struggling to stay upright on the couch.

\tDr. Kent looked on with growing confusion and no small amount of concern. “I say something funny?” she muttered awkwardly.

\tIt still took a while for Kathy to right herself. A while still before she’d fully caught her breath. She shook her head, face now plastered with an impossibly broad grin. “Sorry, I just… you called her a Woman. Sis isn’t… I mean ok technically she’s over 18 now. Barely So legally speaking she is a woman. But if you met her.” She bit back another chuckle “Hui Sang is about as far from ‘woman’ as you can get. That girl wouldn’t know maturity or responsibility if you dressed it up as one of her anime character crushes and stuck fake fairy wings on it for good measure.”

\tThe comments seemed to just bounce off of the doctor, save for a few stray notes she put down. She waited patiently for Kathy to right herself before resuming her line of questioning. “I think we may have to have some discussions about your sister at some point.” Dr. Kent noted “But that can be for a later date. For now, why don’t we move on a bit so you can tell me about your week.”

--------------------

\tCollin wasn’t quite sure when he was Collin again. It was an odd thought to have. It made him feel a bit like a freak to really ‘have’ that kind of a thought in the first place. He assumed it was just some artifact. Collin still had his uses after all. Like when the family took two weeks to visit back to China. Mom and dad would be a hard enough sell with Kathy. Grandpa? Considering the way the wah’s father talked about the stubborn ‘traditionalist’ repair man grandpa, Collin was pretty sure he’d never make it back to the states if Kathy showed up during that trip.

\tBut there were other uses to that ‘old’ self beyond avoiding family drama. Kinks, for example. In theory a good little fucktoy should have limits only for an owner to shatter them. That’s what every scrap of media said. Smokey makeup and traumatized whimpers were some of the biggest turn-ons out there for a real sadist. Naturally the red panda wanted to give those real sadists what they wanted. The desire to be the best little masochist dolly imaginable was oh so very strong. Yet some things were more of a turn on than others. Collin, for example, seemed to enjoy being misgendered and having his sexuality called into question. All in the most horrible ways imaginable.

\tThat part was a struggle. For now, Collin was avoiding the cage. It was both a wonderful and horrible feeling to have control of that cute little dick again. It felt unnatural, but it was important. The next person to lock that faggie little fuck stick up needed to be someone he could trust. Someone who understood how important it was. He needed it to be someone who would claim the broken little doll as their own. Maybe someone like Becky.

\t“Ok, later.” Collin muttered to himself. This was all getting off track, and he had a job to do.

\tHe pulled a long plastic crate out from under his bed and began removing worn acoustic tiles from it. They were ratty old things gotten second hand off of the internet. Many of them torn in several places. But they were what he had.

\tThe boy began to stick them up to the walls using a small container of blutack. Once the room was as soundproofed as he was going to get it, he went for his dresser and pulled out a light ring stashed in the bottom drawer. “Show time.” He murred to himself while looking though the simple little tool.

\tIn all it took only half an hour to get the room set exactly how it should be. The camera and light ring were set up on the study desk next to the bed. Foam tiles ensured that nobody could hear him, though ’Hiram Edson bible college’ really didn’t have that many students to actually notice right now. The array of plush toys Collin allowed himself, themselves, to have had all been set up strategically on the bed. This included a life size plush toy of a large feral Doberman. The cloth and stuffing puppo was a good body pillow, but more than that he became quite the pretty prop with a simple strap-on and properly dog-shaped dildo.

\tEventually it was all set. Face mask, cute schoolgirl uniform, phone in a rig with a big ring light. The wah took a cute yet slutty pose, kneeling with his legs spread and doing an ahegao face behind the mask while the stream started up.

\tOnlyfurs. Probably the only real place a college kid like him could stream nudes and sex acts on the regular and make some damn money off of it.

\t‘It’s party time again!’

\t‘There’s my favorite cockhole’

\t‘It’s so romantic when she does this’

\t‘First’

\tAll manner of comments streamed into the chat, and some were repeated into Collin’s earbuds.

\t“Good morning boys and girls. Mmm but let’s be real, mostly boys” the wah cooed while leaning down, letting his bare chest show off though the neck hole of the girly shirt. So many of the names were familiar by now. ‘Sofboylover’, ‘Xx_Dark_Angel_Kadaj_xX’, ‘Totallynotafed’. It was admittedly a bit of a pain to remember them all, but he still tried. After all, they were all so devoted.

\t“So then, for all of you wondering the dragon dildo you guys got me hasn’t arrived yet. But I’ll be checking my PO box later just in case. For now though I think we’ll start with some body writing. Remember it’s 20 bucks a phrase, so let’s see how many nasty things you can all make before my next class!”

\tCollin took a few breaths. If he could switch back to Kathy right now he probably would. It’s what people wanted to see. But he did kind of hope at least someone would want to shame him in boy mode. Even if none of them could possibly understand what that meant. After all, he sure as hell didn’t.

--------------------

\tSome things hadn’t quite changed yet for ‘Kathy’. She stood there outside of her dorm waiting patiently for the familiar sight of an old 80s Corvette. All the while she fiddled with hr phone, bouncing between the various Nintendo property themed mobile games she’d been toying with. It felt kind of good. No longer did she have to struggle with swapping out clothes or carrying a small backpack when Justin was giving her a ride out. At the same time the comfortable familiarity of worn old car seats and the smell of leather-scented car air freshener was wonderfully nostalgic.

\tEven more nostalgic was the sight of Justin. The otter boy had tossed his trademark coat behind the seat and was sitting behind the wheel as a big ball of grease and mussed fur. Different from the edge lord he’d been back home, but still no less grumpy.

\t“Rough day at work?” Kathy snickered

\t“I know I’m the new guy, but when someone asks ‘did you wire the starter’ maybe it should be taken as a genuine reminder and not some kid getting uppity.” Justin sighed. He let his forehead fall into the wheel of his car and groaned in frustration, then turned his gaze back to the wah sitting shotgun. “We were half way done disassembling the thing before the boss man came and checked it. Tony got so pissed he basically ‘let’ me reassemble the whole engine because he thought I was being a smartass.”

\tKathy giggled and nodded. She flicked at her phone a few moments and then nodded to Justin. The otter paused to pull his phone out and then tilted his head when the paypal notification came up.

\t“I’m doing ok right now.” Kathy shrugged “And you are being nice enough to play Uber.”

\tWith that the two were off. Justin’s mood improved a touch, but only a touch. The red panda sat there looking at her best friend sidelong while tapping on her phone. Not too long ago she’d have been thrilled at the sight. At the care free, easy going Justin finally having to ‘work’ for what he had. The idea of pressure starting to take its toll after years of coasting and dealing with overly lenient parents.

\tIt was a very ‘Kathy’ thought. The problem was, the Wah wasn’t thinking it. If anything the sight of the mussed boy winding them along though the mean streets of Kzoo made her want to go up to this ‘Tony’ person and give him a good smack in the mouth for his behavior. Justin was trying his best, right? Plus he had school, which most of the troglodytes giving him shit probably hadn’t finished or even started. How dare someone give this poor water dog so much shit just for asking a valid question. Especially when it turned out he was right.

\t“Fuck.” the wah sighed.

\t“Something wrong?” Justin blinked

\tMuch to her shock, the girl snickered a bit. She slumped down in her seat and racked her brain for a distraction.

\t“Just kind of stressful I guess, trying to juggle the whole Onlyfurs thing with school.”

\tJustin snerked and shook his head. “You mean the school not finding out, I take it?”

\t“Oh like they can afford to kick anyone out.” she scoffed. Though that wasn’t entirely true.

\t“Is that why you didn’t go to Andrews?” Justin snickered

\tThe wah wrinkled her nose and scrunched her face up at the very mention of the notorious university. It didn’t need to be said why she’d avoided the Adventist school Mecca like the Nurglish Rot. The very idea of being mired in a sea of SDA tryhards for her entire post-secondary education was borderline traumatic!

\tIt was clear to the red panda that her friend was all too aware of this when he made the comment. A smug smirk on his face as he let the image of more stuffy boy clothes and bible-thumping teachers reporting back to mom and dad while pushing Millerite doctrine at every god damn turn. Edson may be small and virtually unknown. But it was a way to get undergrad shit done without mom and dad complaining, and they were too understaffed and underfunded to play police with all of their students.

\tJustin ran a greasy paw though his own mop of blonde headfur, then winced in instant regret as he did so. The reflexive action had now put a good deal of motor grease into his hair and probably just caused him more problems for the night. “Ya know, I really am kind of impressed with you pulling this off. I just hope it’s not too much shit for you down the road.”

\t“What?” Kathy blinked “Think I can’t handle a few horny boys?”

\t“It’s not that.” Justin sighed, shaking his head ruefully “I mean not really at least. But that does seem like a perfect breeding ground for just the biggest and deepest parasocial hell.”

\t“So you don’t think I can behave myself?” Kathy cooed, that one at least feeling like a genuine Kathy moment.

\t“Oh you can handle yourself just fine. It’s them I worry about.” Justin huffed

\tKathy paused and put a finger to her lips, glancing up at the car roof. “You don’t think the boys can behave themselves then? Here I thought you got over that knight in shining armor’ complex.”

\t“It was never shining.” Justin snickered “And you know if shit ever gets too bad I have your back, sis. But you know what Channers and Reddit-bros are like. Kinda why I opted to try it in-person instead. Worse comes to worse I can…”

\t“Kick their asses?” Kathy interrupted

\t“Give a proper description to the cops.” Justin finished “Look, I know I’ve been a dumbass most of my life, but I at the very least realize if someone is going to be an obsessive stalker they may have a gun or something. I’m not Goku. I can’t dodge bullets”

\t“But you are tough enough to head butt an NBA draft pick.” The wah giggled.

\tJustin blushed a bit at that. He went very quiet and slumped back into his seat.

\tKathy giggled, but she didn’t press it further. It was a shock to find out that the asshole who’d attacked her sister a year ago was now a draft pick. It seemed like the kind of thing that should come out when investigating that. More shocking, though, was just how chill her friend was being about the fact that he took on some pro athlete. Technically.

\tThe trip fell mostly quiet after that. Most of it due to Justin’s need to focus on the notorious hell road that was Westnedge. It was in that quiet where the thoughts started to creep in again. How so little of this felt like ‘Kathy’. Lately every time she’d gotten into girl mode it had felt harder and harder to be that snaky, superior, uppity little brat princess she was supposed to be.

\tIt had been such a blur since last year. Not that long ago they were just two nerdy boys getting blackmailed into some shit by their gym teacher. Two teens barely past the mark of adulthood in age, half-forced and half diving into a sea of confusing perversions with a guide they had only known as the sadistic bitch making them run laps. Both of them had grown up so much since then. It felt like they should have all of the answers by now. Maybe Justin did. The way the otter boy had gone from a depressed bundle of edge lord into someone willing to work two jobs and go to school just to get a degree.

\tHere Kathy was, not even comfortable in her ‘proper’ gender all the time. All the while her mind drifting back to those books. Her thoughts hovering on what it was her sister was trying to tell her.

\t“You doin ok?” Justin blinked as he pulled them off of the main road and into the mall parking lot.

\tThe girl looked up and nodded dumbly. “Do I not look ok?” She muttered.

\t“You don’t sound it.” Justin noted  “Not getting car sick are you?”

\tKathy would have smashed that easy opening at a catty insult. But the wah didn’t. She hadn’t flipped to boy mode. She wasn’t too sick to say anything. She just… didn’t. Didn’t feel the way she thought she should have. She hadn’t been feeling it for a while, if she were honest with herself. Her friend’s concerned face faded into the background as Kathy, or whoever she was at that moment, gazed into the worn old plastic of the dash. Questions continued to run though her mind, and each time they did she almost dared to voice them only to fall silent again and smirk sullenly.

\tThe otter boy was at least polite enough to recognize the consternation and keep quiet. Sadly that only made things worse. Kathy would have mockingly offered him a blowie for being such a ‘noble little prince’. Collin would have given his lifelong best friend and sometimes Sir a sheepish ‘thank you’ and blown it all off. So who the fuck was this girl now? Sitting there in the car. Lost in her own thoughts for the thousandth time.

\t“I guess I have a lot on my mind.” she finally muttered. Understatement of the year. She felt an arm wrap around her shoulders with a brotherly side-hug and offered a timid smile in return. Her eyes quickly sank back to the footwell of the car while she flicked her shoes against each other in some kind of pathetic nervous tic. Something her body had apparently decided was all it could muster to burn off the growing anxiety of thought.

\tFinally she looked up at him. There were thousands of questions swirling in the girl’s mind. Thousands of things she wanted, needed a friend to help her with. The quiet trip though dense traffic had apparently given her subconscious mind far too much time without proper distraction and it was all flooding to the surface.

\tKathy, or whoever she was, pulled her tail back around her from the seat hole and warpped it around herself. She pulled her knees to her chest, sitting silently for what felt like ages. When she finally spoke, it felt a bit distant and filled with a bitter laughter she wasn’t fully feeling. “So, Justin.” She sighed “I’m wondering. What do you think about the name Xiulan?”
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