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Yeah expect at least one more out of this. Sorry in advance to all who read this, in more ways than one. I'm putting it into 'adult', but not for sex or violence. Just trust me on this.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Part 3 of what should have been a 2 parter, and still going. Yeah expect at least one more out of this. Sorry in advance to all who read this, in more ways than one. I'm putting it into 'adult', but not for sex or violence. Just trust me on this.", "writing": "Anguish\n\nBy TerraMGP\n\n\tIt wasn't like the park. Not quiet. Even after she'd shut just about everything off. The lights were off. All of her devices. She even went out and shut things off in the rest of the house. Going so far as to detach the holo from the power and dig though for the maintenance switch for the printer. It didn't help.\n\n\tThe one sound Brinna permitted herself was the small thud of her sock foot as she thumped and tapped it against the wall. It was something she felt as much as heard. A firm even tempoed pattern. Too steady and flat to even be called a rhythm. Just something to focus on. Something to help her mind go blank. Trying to relax it and empty it. It didn't help. The scream of power though cables made sure of that. The rush of water and scream of distant sirens. People fighting or fucking in the other apartments. Just a flood of endless droning noises that refused to be banished by her best efforts. Sounds that she desperately tried to drown out with the thumping.\n\n\tThe pace matched the new message light blinking away from the smaller holoprojector in her own room. A bright orange blinking at a slow steady pace. Part of her wanted to turn it off. It would probably make most of this easier. It was just far too hard. It would mean answering. It would mean facing him and explaining. It would mean asking questions. How could she possibly do any of that now?\n\n\tHer parents tried to get something out of her the first night. It had been hell. The two already exhausted dormice spent at least an hour berating her. Angry, scared, confused. Her father checking her twice. First for proof she'd made him `happy', the second to ensure she hadn't been harmed in any serious way.\n\n\tEventually they simply let her go into her room. She hadn't eaten. Barely slept. Probably let go of Puff for about a total of twenty minutes. Hadn't even bothered to change her cloths. Other than sending out a couple of messages the young woman hadn't really moved. One to the school. The typical boiler plate notification to use up sick days. It was almost sad. She'd managed to go most of the past six years without more than a partial for medical reasons. Perfect attendance all though high school. Now here she was in the home stretch, blowing it.\n\n\tThe other message was to him. Just two words. ``I'm ok''. Her inbox exploded. At least a dozen messages the first hour alone. Over a hundred by now. She hadn't opened a one of them yet. Yesterday she herd a couple officers come to her door. When her parents were home, thankfully. They talked for a while. It seemed that her `Owner-in-consideration' had filed an order to check on her and examine her safety. Her mom talked with the officer about how Brinna was doing, assurances that she'd be fine and contact her future Master soon. Brinna also heard the hushed whispers of concern. With mention of a psychiatrist brought up.\n\n\tLike it or not it was probably logical.\n\n\tStill Brinna hadn't sat easy with the officer there. She hadn't been easy since. Part of her was still waiting for someone to come `check' on her again. Maybe this time with a better excuse. Maybe someone who could shut her up or hurt her for scaring them off\n\n\tNo. It wasn't what she did. It was who `he' was. Granted messing with someone's property was probably pretty bad legally speaking. Brinna had spent the first few hours telling herself that was it. Just dirty cops scared off by trouble. But then corpsec got away with plenty. Even she knew that. They could bury things deeply and cover for their own if they really wanted to. They could, would, hide what they did from just about anyone.\n\n\tRight?\n\n\tShe was right. She'd seen the alt news feeds. Heard about Oversight looking into cases cropping up in Class II locations. Part of her was sure that they wouldn't just run away if he was only `someone.\n\n\t``Says the girl hiding in her room.''\n\n\tIt really had been a couple of days. The normally soft and papery voice she was used to felt raspy and sore. It came as a bit of a shock since she'd cried herself out the first day. It seemed like her vocal chords should be better by now. Like maybe, she hoped at least, she'd feel a bit less wounded.\n\n\tGods she wanted her Sir. More than anything. She wanted to feel his steady breath, his strong hand, his warmth. His smell. Oh gods his smell. That oddly simple, natural musk she always caught when pressed up against him. She'd barely noticed it the first time they were together. Yet already she felt almost addicted to the idea of it. Of everything about him really. If only...\n\n\tBrinna pulled one of the rough blankets up from the foot of her bed, then another. She lay there for a long moment struggling to shift herself around on the tiny meter-wide mattress. Her breath started to grow faster and more shallow as she felt a warmth something like his. Scared, calm, nervous, excited, confused. She hovered there like that for an instantaneous half-hour. Once again shocked by the seeming rapid movement of the clock display in her HUD. It took another ten to make her body move. Before her growing feelings of crushing worry and the thrumming of her heart let her dart up to sitting in one jerky motion, grab the tip of the third blanket and pull it over her again.\n\n\tIt didn't help. It might have made things worse. She was uncomfortably hot on top of the bad bed and storming nervousness. Yet a part of her was satisfied by that. Some little kernel of her masochistic self reveled in the hurt. Of the discomfort, of the longing. How bad she felt deep inside. How badly she felt she needed him. How much she feared him. It left her all but paralyzed to the heat and thudding emotions. Only able to keep thumping her foot on the wall. The motion soon evolving to a sort of leg sweep as she pushed herself back up against the wall and pressed her left leg up against the cool prefab composite. Her right leg hooking so that the sole of her foot was pressed against it as well. The whole movement was set at a glacial pace. Not that it mattered. Time seemed to lose much of its meaning. All she wanted was comfort, a way to feel better. At the same time, she didn't.\n\n\tBrinna sighed and shivered as she slid her leg up and down the wall with the same basic rhythm as before. If only she could relax. Maybe sleep a bit. Sleep was scary. The last time didn't' end well. But by that same token, what could she do? All she wanted was an escape. Yet deep down the poor girl knew there would be none.\n\n\tNot without him.\n\n--------------------\n\n\t\n\n\t``Oh Gods it stinks in here.''\n\n\tBrinna looked up and perked an ear. Her mother letting a sliver of light hit the poor girls bloodshot eyes though the partially opened door. Karri was about as old as her father. Like most Slummers both were of a very mixed background, though whereas her dad somehow came out looking every inch the hunched Irishman of their distant ancestors, her mother showed a broader map of old Terra. Laotian was most notable, especially with her hair and muzzle. Irish in the copper flecked green-brown eyes and the ears. She liked to claim a more Latin figure as well. It showed up in old pics up to a point. Unfortunately anyone doing the kind of work that needed doing this far down the station was bound to end up the same sooner or later. Hunched, broken, stooped masses of worn muscle and misplaced fatty tissue designed to perform one set of movements for hours on end. \n\n\tBrinna could recall mapping out the family and how her mother went on about their ancestors at least five generations back. She recalled her mother extolling stories from every relative brought up and going on about their brave pioneer ancestors who took to the stars. It really started to make her wonder just how many of the ethnic or species differences they taught in biology were really the same broad absolutes they claimed.\n\n\t \n\n\tBy the time she'd snapped herself out of her tangential thought spiral Brinna was looking up to see her mother sitting on a corner of the bed. There was a plate of food laid out. Cheese rolls, the good ones that always seemed to take forever to print. A small bar of white chocolate and a can of root beer.\n\n\t``You need to eat something.'' the older woman said softly. ``I'm not leaving here until you do.''\n\n\t``I'm not hungry.'' Brinna sighed\n\n\t``You're depressed'' her mother corrected ``Depression doesn't magically make you full. You're the smart one in the family, you should know that already.''\n\n\t``I'll eat in a minute'' Brinna whined softly\n\n\t``Then I'll sit here a minute.'' Karri chimed without missing a beat ``Or five, or ten. Whatever.\n\n\t``You have to go to work some time.'' Brinna whimpered as she curled up into herself a bit more.\n\n\t``Yeah. Question is can you wait that long. I got no problem taking a couple hexes from the drug store and doing my shift with no sleep. Wouldn't be the first time.''\n\n\tBrinna turned a moment to look at her mother before slumping back and curling into a ball once more. She twitched and thrashed her tail in mild frustration before letting it settle against her thigh. She just wished it had something else to wrap around. She stayed curled like this for the longest time. Gazing at the small streak of blinding light that came in though the doorway.\n\n\t``He called, you know.'' Kerri noted.\n\n\t``When?'' Brinna sighed.\n\n\t``About an hour ago. He didn't ask to talk to you. Just to make sure you were ok. Seemed worried he was pestering us.'' Karri could barely hold back a small laugh as she said the words. Hand moving to stroke at her child's hair. ``The least you could do is tell him you're safe.''\n\n\t``I can't.'' Brinna sighed\n\n\t``Why not? If he did something to you, I can't imagine he'd-''\n\n\t``It wasn't him. It, it wasn't him, mom. But I can't face him. Not now. Not like this. Not after... not after what happened to me. I just can't!'' Brinna hugged the plush toy in her arms as tight as she could and pushed her cheek into the soft fabric of its shell. She could feel a few tears starting up again. Sorrow joined by pain as her dehydration started to get to her once more.\n\n\t``I still wish you'd talk about it with one of us sweetie.'' Kerri sighed ``Or eat something. Maybe take a shower a some point. You really need it.''\n\n\tBrinna nodded and turned her face to look at her mother a moment. A half-smile forming on her lips. Not much. Barely a tug. But it was there.\n\n\t``Just let me know when, ok? And when you want to talk. But I do think you should send him a message too.''\n\n\t``Mom.'' Brinna whined\n\n\t``I'm not saying you go running back to him. But, look. It is you're future we're talking about. More to the point you're making him worry. I'm not saying you need to go crawling back to your Master on hands and knees begging his forgiveness. Which is, oddly apt now that I think about it.''\n\n\t``Mom!'' Brinna whined, her voice getting a bit scratchier.\n\n\t``Teasing. Look all I'm saying is that if it were your father and I didn't hear from him in three days I'd be going out of my mind. I know you haven't known him for more than a few months. But at the very least you could let him know you're alive. Let him know something. Torture yourself all you want, but don't make others suffer with you.''\n\n\tBrinna nodded. Still she only curled tighter and shut her eyes.\n\n\t``I'll go get you some water.'' Kerri nodded ``I expect to see at least a bit of that food gone before I get back though. I mean it.'' the older woman scooped up the water bottle from by the head of the bed. Some old pink and purple thing with Rati on the side. Try as she might to deny it Brenna always seemed to prefer it. \n\n\tAs her mother left Brinna felt something thud on the bed. She reached over with a trembling hand to scoop it up. It was a small bit of metal only a couple Centimeters in width. She brought the thing into view. It was a small cross. Shaped out of four tapered hunks of slag iron and joined with each arm offset to the other. The whole thing done up with a bit of brass car paint.\n\n\tBrigids charm. Brinna hugged the little trinket to her chest a moment. Slipping it between the plush toy and her chest as she hugged Puff tight and felt the metal. As if something soothing, something comforting and safe could seep out of the simple bit of scrap and into her.\n\n\tShe shifted a bit and reached back to nab one of the little cheese balls. Popping the mixture of synthetic dough and cheddar into her mouth. It tasted a bit like ash. Bitter and wrong. But the real flavor seeped though ha bit. Just enough.\n\n\tHer eyes slipped shut as a thought willed the bright up her HUD. The same one she had from her projector. The background image made her wince. Some over stylized yaoi romantic model of Sigard and Yin from Oroboros Principal. It had been cute a few days ago. A lot of things had been cute a few days ago.\n\n\tShe quickly moved away from the image and opened the `branches' program. She could see Gene was on. The little icon glowing even as the location tracker was obfuscated simply showing the station map with a big question mark over it.\n\n\tThat much wasn't a shock. Nobody kept the tracking on. Why would they?\n\n\tShe opened the tab, then paused. Her hand reaching out to pick up a bright green length of cable she had snaked down between the mattress and the wall, running back to the data hardline. Part of her said it was to make sure she couldn't just cut the connection and escape if she chickened out. Part of her said it was just a stall tactic. She knew damn well which was true.\n\n\t``Hello, Sir'' The message sent even as she slowly plugged the tip of the cable into the port of her old jack. The small hit of added sensory input nearly caused her to yank it again. Instead she just hugged Puff harder and tried to steady her breathing.\n\n\t``Are you ok?'' the response came back in seconds.\n\n\tIt took almost ten minutes before she could respond again. The time once again seeming to just drain from around her as she gazed blankly at the image.\n\n\t``It's complicated'' she replied in the little text window. ``If it's fine, I'd like to just keep it to text for now.''\n\n\t``It's fine. Are you hurt?''\n\n\t``It's complicated'' she replied again\n\n\t``Do you need a doctor? I don't want to push you, but if something happened and you need a doctor.''\n\n\tAgain with the doctors. Everyone wanted her to see a doctor. She wasn't hurt. She knew she wasn't hurt. That woman had barely touched her. There was nothing for a doctor to fix.\n\n\t``I don't need a doctor. I just need to sleep a while. I'm really tired.'' She sent the message, then sighed to herself. ``I know I haven't been talking for a while. I know that's not fair. We need to talk soon, I know that. I just can't right now. Please.''\n\n\t``When you need to, pet.'' It came back too fast. Too accepting. It felt wrong somehow. He shouldn't be this accepting of her saying these things. What did he know?\n\n\t``Can I get a bio pulse? Just to be sure?''\n\n\tIt was an odd request, but an understandable one. Just about anyone with a Datajack could send a basic signal to confirm that they were speaking with the person they expected on the other end. One of those things used by overly neurotic parents to make sure their kids were safe while home alone or to avoid scams. As far as Brinna knew there was no way to fake it. There was also no way to tell if someone was hurt from it. It was just colors randomly generated from biometric factors after all. She complied though, she owed him that much.\n\n\t``Thank you.'' he replied. \n\n\tIt felt so odd to read. Not `good girl'. No further pressing or outrage. It all felt almost uncomfortably nice. Brinna didn't respond. She just sort of zoned out as she half looked at the odd mix of greens and oranges and yellows that were supposed to make up her physical health. She noticed a lot of black at the center. Gods knew what that meant. The type of thing she could read into quite easily if she were inclined.\n\n\t``Mind if I show you something?'' the next message was a bit of a shock to Brinna. In part because it came up after such a long period of silence, startling her back it reality. She was already a bit overwhelmed, even with this. It was hard to get her head around everything. She felt herself bobbing up out of the anxiety. Able to breath. Yet still oh so aware she could sink back down at any moment. \n\n\t``Sure, sir'' She'd forgotten to capitalize. Just a tiny slip. Unless it wasn't.\n\n\tThe file came. A simple Holo image. Almost flat in her low res contacts. It was the cloak from before. At least for the most part. There seemed to be some knot work piping around the edges of it. Painfully small and intricate. The pattern stopped about half way along the bottom edge and was met with small splotches of what looked to be mud or grime. Travel ware form the looks of it. It was admittedly impressive all things considered.\n\n\t``It's not done yet'' he sent the reply almost right after the image.\n\n\t``It looks good, sir'' she sent back. Again failing to capitalize.\n\n\t``I'm still tinkering with the code some. I figured if I'm not going to play competitive anymore I can get a bit broken. In reason, of course.''\n\n\t``I understand.'' It felt hollow to say. But it was all she could say. It was all she could think. She felt so empty. Hating herself for being this terrified. Yet there she was.\n\n\t``You know if my little gem needs to talk, she can.'' he replied.\n\n\t``I know.'' Again. Too short, too wrong. Gods she hated herself. She hated him. She hated everything. She wanted him. She wanted to rush into his arms. She wanted to scream in his face because she just couldn't feel safe until she was sure who he was, what he was. She just wanted this all to stop somehow. She wanted to breath again.\n\n\t``When you need to talk, let me know.'' \n\n\tShe didn't reply. It was supposed to make her feel better. Maybe it was supposed to make her feel less trapped or helpless. Something. Brinna willed the text box to the side of the blank void it was cased on and started to open up sites. She looked though her meager little library of games. Almost every one of them buggy free to play virus bombs that took a patch to operate safely. The rest cheap antiquated fluff she'd gotten on clearance. She started to sift though the games until she found `Grave blade'. She set it to download, and then quickly shoved that aside next to her text box. \n\n\tThe next was the various sites and nodes she'd saved from the public network that hosted movies and shows. As before she started to listlessly sift though the sea of titles. She stopped at one of her favorites. `Budapest Roses'. A witty, quirky comedy she could never get her parents to watch with her. She opened it up, letting the opening play out. Familiar intro, familiar narration. The main character with the juxtaposition of refined noble Terran-born and unwitting bumbler ill served by his vast knowledge and cultural refinement. \n\n\tIt should have made her laugh. At least smile. Instead as the familiar plot played out she only felt the creeping disquiet in her gut grow and sting though her limbs. After only a few minutes Brinna paused the video and shoved it off to the side with the rest. She did the same with all of her normal comforts. Her music play list, her backlog of cheesy erotica that `he' had wanted to hear. Character generators, gem auctions, the geology report. Every single shred of media she'd normally sink into for comfort streamed in front of her closed eyes one after he other and each time it only served to drive her deeper and harder into the well of despair.\n\n\tBrinna finally grabbed at her eyes and screamed with frustration. She gripped hard at her temples. Twitching and all but clawing at them. She kicked at the wall and started to rock as the twisting dull thrum of wrong swelled from her head and into her chest until it threatened to simply consume her whole. She screamed. Loud and long and frustrated. A loud frustrated noise that shook her whole body. \n\n\tBrinna yanked the jack cable free and tossed it aside. Then, with hands shaking, she started to pull out the contacts, setting them down next to her glasses on the bedside table. She wasn`t gentle. Wasn`t careful. She just wanted them out. Wanted the uncomfortable feelings to stop. \n\n\tHer mother was in a heartbeat later. The stack of blankets pulled in around Brinna and hugged to her body oh so tight.\n\n\tBrinna continued to thrash and buck and sob in frustration even as her mother pushed herself down on the girl and hugged her arms to her body. The excess blankets working like a makeshift net to hold Brinna down and keep her from kicking or swinging wildly. \n\n\tKerri had more than enough strength from her work to keep the slender girl pinned tight in the bed. All the while stroking and petting the slowly forming birds next that was her long black hair. She shhhed and nuzzled into her child. Nosing her cheek and kissing at the stream of tears that started to flood down her fur and into the sheets. \n\n\t\n\n\t``Shh. It's ok. It's going to be ok. I promise you. No matter what happens it's going to be ok.'' Kerri muttered the words as sweetly as she could .Struggling at first to keep her girl in check and stop her from hurting herself. As Brinna calmed she simply hugged her tight. Laying there as she hummed a simple off-tune hymn. Slowly letting up as Brinnas body started to relax.\n\n\t``It's not.'' Brinna muttered ``It's not ok. Nothing's ok. Nothing's going to be ok. I wanna be ok. Just make it stop. Please.'' she sobbed softly as her mother held her again. Tighter this time. Harder. At this point it felt like the only thing keeping her together.\n\n\tThe sobbing continued until Brinnas limbs were too worn and sore to move anymore. Kerri stayed and continued to stroke her daughters hair for a while longer. Propping up the water bottle to let her get a nice long drink. When the older woman was finally sure she'd let Brinna tire out enough she pulled back a bit and ran her fingers though her hair. It was only two hours to shift. She wasn't sleeping tonight, as expected.\n\n\t``You're daddy will be home son, ok sunshine?'' Kerri said more than asked ``Is there anything you need? Anything I can et you?''\n\n\t``Water'' Brinna muttered ``And, can you turn the lights off when you go? They still kinda hurt.'' The words were almost childish,. Brinna barely able to keep her head straight enough to process anything more. She was just so tired, so burned out and weak. She just needed to sleep.\n\n\t``Ok honey. But on one condition. I want you to keep your biopulse on for me and your father, ok? Just for tonight. We're going to try and see about helping you feel better tomorrow. But it'll just make us both feel more at ease if we can know you're safe. Ok?''\n\n\t``Ok.'' Brinna nodded. She knew what her mom meant. She knew what they were worried about. The idea wasn't in her mind. Not really. Not that she could imagine hurting herself with anything in her room anyways. She just wanted to sleep. Wanted it so badly. ``I love you, Mommy.'' Brinna muttered as she yawned loudly.\n\n\t``Love you too angel.'' Kerri looked down at her child and sighed. Almost twenty years old now, almost out of their hands for good. Yet she still looked like the same little girl she tucked in every night.\n\n\tThe older dormouse put a kiss on Brinnas cheek, then on her forehead. Coming her fingers though her hair one more time before walking out and sliding the door shut behind her. The room returned to blackness. Real blackness this time. A dark, comforting, sealed little two by two meter crypt.\n\n---------------------\n\n\tThey were unfamiliar corridors. Maybe they shouldn't be. The young bear felt a knot of apprehension in his gut as he walked though the wood and silver hallways of the lower suites. He made his way towards the back room. A large open area surrounded by windows. Thick plates of clear ceramics keeping the occupant in perfect safety while giving her a view from the spire down to the city below.\n\n\t``Sis'' The brown furred bear nodded as he looked down at the owner of the suite. A wolf girl hovering around her mid teens. The borderline emaciated girl lay near the back window on a fainting couch. Her body draped in an ill fitting silvery replica of a school uniform, complete with a few holographic touches of color to add the plaid. She held a game controller in one hand while the other pet the hair of a preoccupied rat girl sitting at the corner of the couch, toying with another controller and looking up at the large holographic projection in one of the windows.\n\n\t``Big brother'' the wolf looked up and tilted her head. A note of surprise moving past her normally cool tone ``I'm surprised to see you in person like this.''\n\n\t``Well I did say we needed to talk.'' he nodded\n\n\t``Yeah. But I figured that meant I'd be getting a call from you later or something. I didn't think you'd bother moving your considerable butt on down here.'' She teased ``I mean if you want the specs for my latest processor architecture I'd be happy to get a basic write up over to you or something.''\n\n\tHe shook his head and did his best to bite back a growl. The brat was always so snide. Normally he was fine. Not today. Not now. ``Sorry, but I'm really not in the mood.`` he muttered ``When I said I need a favor I meant it. I still do. You owe me plenty.''\n\n\t``I don't owe you anything, big brother. Not really'' The wolf said with an impish giggle. ``Especially not when you come in all serious trying to make demands. But you know I never have a problem hearing you out. Go on, tell me what you need.''\n\n\t\n\n\t``I want a hack to the video feeds. Block 147, Section D. Corner of Whiteoak and Seventh.''\n\n\t``Really? That's it?'' She sighed\n\n\t``Is that a problem?'' he asked\n\n\t``Well I mean it's a bit of a pain to get into the public systems like that.'' A lie, one she found impossible to hide with her smirk ``But It's also pretty trivial. I think your lil sis at least deserves a bit of motivation here. What's so special about that corner?\n\n\t``Not just that corner. That corner, Eighteen twenty last night.''\n\n\t``Why?'' the wolf girl whined a bit ``Come on now this is really kind of pathetic. Why don't you lighten up and tell me what happened? It`s no fun being this out of the loop.''\n\n\t``Look can you do it or not?'' he growled ``if not Ill be happy to take the time and do it myself but we both know you`d be faster. You already have the back doors. Don`t pretend like you don`t.''\n\n\t``I would if you'd just tell me what this is all about.'' the wolf laughed haughtily ``You can't rile me up like this and not give me some idea of what's going on. I mean come on this really isn't like you. Well ok the boring part is. But even for you this is really odd.''\n\n\tThe bear bit back on a growl ``I want to know who attacked a girl there last night, ok? Two officers. I want names.''\n\n\tThe younger sibling sighed and shook her head ``A girl? That's it? What some streetwalker or something? Look I know you've got your whole moral superiority thing or whatever it is, but it's not like you can stop every-''\n\n\t``She is `my' girl, Ilka'' he said firmly.\n\n\tThe wolf sat, dumbfounded, still. Her shoulders squared and back straightened. Ears perking up ever so slightly as she looked at him a long moment.\n\n\t``Go'' She said, firmly\n\n\t``What? But I''\n\n\t``Go. You want it done. Go. See your girl, calm down. Just, just go. I`ll contact you when I know something.''\n\n\tThe bear paused a moment, but quickly turned and complied. Walking back out of the room in a slight huff. Ilka waited until the lift lowered before waving her hand and bringing up a bright blue and gold keypad display into her field of view. Fingers quickly over the keys as she began. ``Mothefuckers.'' She snarled coldly ``Nobody hurts big brother.''\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Anguish

By TerraMGP

\tIt wasn't like the park. Not quiet. Even after she'd shut just about everything off. The lights were off. All of her devices. She even went out and shut things off in the rest of the house. Going so far as to detach the holo from the power and dig though for the maintenance switch for the printer. It didn't help.

\tThe one sound Brinna permitted herself was the small thud of her sock foot as she thumped and tapped it against the wall. It was something she felt as much as heard. A firm even tempoed pattern. Too steady and flat to even be called a rhythm. Just something to focus on. Something to help her mind go blank. Trying to relax it and empty it. It didn't help. The scream of power though cables made sure of that. The rush of water and scream of distant sirens. People fighting or fucking in the other apartments. Just a flood of endless droning noises that refused to be banished by her best efforts. Sounds that she desperately tried to drown out with the thumping.

\tThe pace matched the new message light blinking away from the smaller holoprojector in her own room. A bright orange blinking at a slow steady pace. Part of her wanted to turn it off. It would probably make most of this easier. It was just far too hard. It would mean answering. It would mean facing him and explaining. It would mean asking questions. How could she possibly do any of that now?

\tHer parents tried to get something out of her the first night. It had been hell. The two already exhausted dormice spent at least an hour berating her. Angry, scared, confused. Her father checking her twice. First for proof she'd made him `happy', the second to ensure she hadn't been harmed in any serious way.

\tEventually they simply let her go into her room. She hadn't eaten. Barely slept. Probably let go of Puff for about a total of twenty minutes. Hadn't even bothered to change her cloths. Other than sending out a couple of messages the young woman hadn't really moved. One to the school. The typical boiler plate notification to use up sick days. It was almost sad. She'd managed to go most of the past six years without more than a partial for medical reasons. Perfect attendance all though high school. Now here she was in the home stretch, blowing it.

\tThe other message was to him. Just two words. ``I'm ok''. Her inbox exploded. At least a dozen messages the first hour alone. Over a hundred by now. She hadn't opened a one of them yet. Yesterday she herd a couple officers come to her door. When her parents were home, thankfully. They talked for a while. It seemed that her `Owner-in-consideration' had filed an order to check on her and examine her safety. Her mom talked with the officer about how Brinna was doing, assurances that she'd be fine and contact her future Master soon. Brinna also heard the hushed whispers of concern. With mention of a psychiatrist brought up.

\tLike it or not it was probably logical.

\tStill Brinna hadn't sat easy with the officer there. She hadn't been easy since. Part of her was still waiting for someone to come `check' on her again. Maybe this time with a better excuse. Maybe someone who could shut her up or hurt her for scaring them off

\tNo. It wasn't what she did. It was who `he' was. Granted messing with someone's property was probably pretty bad legally speaking. Brinna had spent the first few hours telling herself that was it. Just dirty cops scared off by trouble. But then corpsec got away with plenty. Even she knew that. They could bury things deeply and cover for their own if they really wanted to. They could, would, hide what they did from just about anyone.

\tRight?

\tShe was right. She'd seen the alt news feeds. Heard about Oversight looking into cases cropping up in Class II locations. Part of her was sure that they wouldn't just run away if he was only `someone.

\t``Says the girl hiding in her room.''

\tIt really had been a couple of days. The normally soft and papery voice she was used to felt raspy and sore. It came as a bit of a shock since she'd cried herself out the first day. It seemed like her vocal chords should be better by now. Like maybe, she hoped at least, she'd feel a bit less wounded.

\tGods she wanted her Sir. More than anything. She wanted to feel his steady breath, his strong hand, his warmth. His smell. Oh gods his smell. That oddly simple, natural musk she always caught when pressed up against him. She'd barely noticed it the first time they were together. Yet already she felt almost addicted to the idea of it. Of everything about him really. If only...

\tBrinna pulled one of the rough  blankets up from the foot of her bed, then another. She lay there for a long moment struggling to shift herself around on the tiny meter-wide mattress. Her breath started to grow faster and more shallow as she felt a warmth something like his. Scared, calm, nervous, excited, confused. She hovered there like that for an instantaneous half-hour. Once again shocked by the seeming rapid movement of the clock display in her HUD. It took another ten to make her body move. Before her growing feelings of crushing worry and the thrumming of her heart let her dart up to sitting in one jerky motion, grab the tip of the third blanket and pull it over her again.

\tIt didn't help. It might have made things worse. She was uncomfortably hot on top of the bad bed and storming nervousness. Yet a part of her was satisfied by that. Some little kernel of her masochistic self reveled in the hurt. Of the discomfort, of the longing. How bad she felt deep inside. How badly she felt she needed him. How much she feared him. It left her all but paralyzed to the heat and thudding emotions. Only able to keep thumping her foot on the wall. The motion soon evolving to a sort of leg sweep as she pushed herself back up against the wall and pressed her left leg up against the cool prefab composite. Her right leg hooking so that the sole of her foot was pressed against it as well. The whole movement was set at a glacial pace. Not that it mattered. Time seemed to lose much of its meaning. All she wanted was comfort, a way to feel better. At the same time, she didn't.

\tBrinna sighed and shivered as she slid her leg up and down the wall with the same basic rhythm as before. If only she could relax. Maybe sleep a bit. Sleep was scary. The last time didn't' end well. But by that same token, what could she do? All she wanted was an escape. Yet deep down the poor girl knew there would be none.

\tNot without him.

--------------------

\t

\t``Oh Gods it stinks in here.''

\tBrinna looked up and perked an ear. Her mother letting a sliver of light hit the poor girls bloodshot eyes though the partially opened door. Karri was about as old as her father. Like most Slummers both were of a very mixed background, though whereas her dad somehow came out looking every inch the hunched Irishman of their distant ancestors, her mother showed a broader map of old Terra. Laotian was most notable, especially with her hair and muzzle. Irish in the copper flecked green-brown eyes and the ears. She liked to claim a more Latin figure as well. It showed up in old pics up to a point. Unfortunately anyone doing the kind of work that needed doing this far down the station was bound to end up the same sooner or later. Hunched, broken, stooped masses of worn muscle and misplaced fatty tissue designed to perform one set of movements for hours on end.

\tBrinna could recall mapping out the family and how her mother went on about their ancestors at least five generations back.  She recalled her mother extolling stories from every relative brought up and going on about their brave pioneer ancestors who took to the stars. It really started to make her wonder just how many of the ethnic or species differences they taught in biology were really the same broad absolutes they claimed.

\t

\tBy the time she'd snapped herself out of her tangential thought spiral Brinna was looking up to see her mother sitting on a corner of the bed. There was a plate of food laid out. Cheese rolls, the good ones that always seemed to take forever to print. A small bar of white chocolate and a can of root beer.

\t``You need to eat something.'' the older woman said softly. ``I'm not leaving here until you do.''

\t``I'm not hungry.'' Brinna sighed

\t``You're depressed'' her mother corrected ``Depression doesn't magically make you full. You're the smart one in the family, you should know that already.''

\t``I'll eat in a minute'' Brinna whined softly

\t``Then I'll sit here a minute.'' Karri chimed without missing a beat ``Or five, or ten. Whatever.

\t``You have to go to work some time.'' Brinna whimpered as she curled up into herself a bit more.

\t``Yeah. Question is can you wait that long. I got no problem taking a couple hexes from the drug store and doing my shift with no sleep. Wouldn't be the first time.''

\tBrinna turned a moment to look at her mother before slumping back and curling into a ball once more. She twitched and thrashed her tail in mild frustration before letting it settle against her thigh. She just wished it had something else to wrap around. She stayed curled like this for the longest time. Gazing at the small streak of blinding light that came in though the doorway.

\t``He called, you know.'' Kerri noted.

\t``When?'' Brinna sighed.

\t``About an hour ago. He didn't ask to talk to you. Just to make sure you were ok. Seemed worried he was pestering us.'' Karri could barely hold back a small laugh as she said the words. Hand moving to stroke at her child's hair. ``The least you could do is tell him you're safe.''

\t``I can't.'' Brinna sighed

\t``Why not? If he did something to you, I can't imagine he'd-''

\t``It wasn't him. It, it wasn't him, mom. But I can't face him. Not now. Not like this. Not after... not after what happened to me. I just can't!'' Brinna hugged the plush toy in her arms as tight as she could and pushed her cheek into the soft fabric of its shell. She could feel a few tears starting up again. Sorrow joined by pain as her dehydration started to get to her once more.

\t``I still wish you'd talk about it with one of us sweetie.'' Kerri sighed ``Or eat something. Maybe take a shower a some point. You really need it.''

\tBrinna nodded and turned her face to look at her mother a moment. A half-smile forming on her lips. Not much. Barely a tug. But it was there.

\t``Just let me know when, ok? And when you want to talk. But I do think you should send him a message too.''

\t``Mom.'' Brinna whined

\t``I'm not saying you go running back to him. But, look. It is you're future we're talking about. More to the point you're making him worry. I'm not saying you need to go crawling back to your Master on hands and knees begging his forgiveness. Which is, oddly apt now that I think about it.''

\t``Mom!'' Brinna whined, her voice getting a bit scratchier.

\t``Teasing. Look all I'm saying is that if it were your father and I didn't hear from him in three days I'd be going out of my mind. I know you haven't known him for more than a few months. But at the very least you could let him know you're alive. Let him know something. Torture yourself all you want, but don't make others suffer with you.''

\tBrinna nodded. Still she only curled tighter and shut her eyes.

\t``I'll go get you some water.'' Kerri nodded ``I expect to see at least a bit of that food gone before I get back though. I mean it.'' the older woman scooped up the water bottle from by the head of the bed. Some old pink and purple thing with Rati on the side. Try as she might to deny it Brenna always seemed to prefer it.

\tAs her mother left Brinna felt something thud on the bed. She reached over with a trembling hand to scoop it up. It was a small bit of metal only a couple Centimeters in width. She brought the thing into view. It was a small cross. Shaped out of four tapered hunks of slag iron and joined with each arm offset to the other. The whole thing done up with a bit of brass car paint.

\tBrigids charm. Brinna hugged the little trinket to her  chest a moment. Slipping it between the plush toy and her chest as she hugged Puff tight and felt the metal. As if something soothing, something comforting and safe could seep out of the simple bit of scrap and into her.

\tShe shifted a bit and reached back to nab one of the little cheese balls. Popping the mixture of synthetic dough and cheddar into her mouth. It tasted a bit like ash. Bitter and wrong. But the real flavor seeped though ha bit. Just enough.

\tHer eyes slipped shut as a thought willed the bright up her HUD. The same one she had from her projector. The background image made her wince. Some over stylized yaoi romantic model of Sigard and Yin from Oroboros Principal. It had been cute a few days ago. A lot of things had been cute a few days ago.

\tShe quickly moved away from the image and opened the `branches' program. She could see Gene was on. The little icon glowing even as the location tracker was obfuscated simply showing the station map with a big question mark over it.

\tThat much wasn't a shock. Nobody kept the tracking on. Why would they?

\tShe opened the tab, then paused. Her hand reaching out to pick up a bright green length of cable she had snaked down between the mattress and the wall, running back to the data hardline. Part of her said it was to make sure she couldn't just cut the connection and escape if she chickened out. Part of her said it was just a stall tactic. She knew damn well which was true.

\t``Hello, Sir'' The message sent even as she slowly plugged the tip of the cable into the port of her old jack. The small hit of added sensory input nearly caused her to yank it again. Instead she just hugged Puff harder and tried to steady her breathing.

\t``Are you ok?'' the response came back in  seconds.

\tIt took almost ten minutes before she could respond again. The time once again seeming to just drain from around her as she gazed blankly at the image.

\t``It's complicated'' she replied in the little text window. ``If it's fine, I'd like to just keep it to text for now.''

\t``It's fine. Are you hurt?''

\t``It's complicated'' she replied again

\t``Do you need a doctor? I don't want to push you, but if something happened and you need a doctor.''

\tAgain with the doctors. Everyone wanted her to see a doctor. She wasn't hurt. She knew she wasn't hurt. That woman had barely touched her. There was nothing for a doctor to fix.

\t``I don't need a doctor. I just need to sleep a while. I'm really tired.'' She sent the message, then sighed to herself. ``I know I haven't been talking for a while. I know that's not fair. We need to talk soon, I know that. I just can't right now. Please.''

\t``When you need to, pet.'' It came back too fast. Too accepting. It felt wrong somehow. He shouldn't be this accepting of her saying these things. What did he know?

\t``Can I get a bio pulse? Just to be sure?''

\tIt was an odd request, but an understandable one. Just about anyone with a Datajack could send a basic signal to confirm that they were speaking with the person they expected on the other end. One of those things used by overly neurotic parents to make sure their kids were safe while home alone or to avoid scams. As far as Brinna knew there was no way to fake it. There was also no way to tell if someone was hurt from it. It was just colors randomly generated from biometric factors after all. She complied though, she owed him that much.

\t``Thank you.'' he replied.

\tIt felt so odd to read. Not `good girl'. No further pressing or outrage. It all felt almost uncomfortably nice. Brinna didn't respond. She just sort of zoned out as she half looked at the odd mix of greens and oranges and yellows that were supposed to make up her physical health. She noticed a lot of black at the center. Gods knew what that meant. The type of thing she could read into quite easily if she were inclined.

\t``Mind if I show you something?'' the next message was a bit of a shock to Brinna. In part because it came up after such a long period of silence, startling her back it reality. She was already a bit overwhelmed, even with this. It was hard to get her head around everything. She felt herself bobbing up out of the anxiety. Able to breath. Yet still oh so aware she could sink back down at any moment.

\t``Sure, sir'' She'd forgotten to capitalize. Just a tiny slip. Unless it wasn't.

\tThe file came. A simple Holo image. Almost flat in her low res contacts. It was the cloak from before. At least for the most part. There seemed to be some knot work piping around the edges of it. Painfully small and intricate. The pattern stopped about half way along the bottom edge and was met with small splotches of what looked to be mud or grime. Travel ware form the looks of it. It was admittedly impressive all things considered.

\t``It's not done yet'' he sent the reply almost right after the image.

\t``It looks good, sir'' she sent back. Again failing to capitalize.

\t``I'm still tinkering with the code some. I figured if I'm not going to play competitive anymore I can get a bit broken. In reason, of course.''

\t``I understand.'' It felt hollow to say. But it was all she could say. It was all she could think. She felt so empty. Hating herself for being this terrified. Yet there she was.

\t``You know if my little gem needs to talk, she can.'' he replied.

\t``I know.'' Again. Too short, too wrong. Gods she hated herself. She hated him. She hated everything. She wanted him. She wanted to rush into his arms. She wanted to scream in his face because she just couldn't feel safe until she was sure who he was, what he was. She just wanted this all to stop somehow. She wanted to breath again.

\t``When you need to talk, let me know.''

\tShe didn't reply. It was supposed to make her feel better. Maybe it was supposed to make her feel less trapped or helpless. Something. Brinna willed the text box to the side of the blank void it was cased on and started to open up sites. She looked though her meager little library of games. Almost every one of them buggy free to play virus bombs that took a patch to operate safely. The rest cheap antiquated fluff she'd gotten on clearance. She started to sift though the games until she found `Grave blade'. She set it to download, and then quickly shoved that aside next to her text box.

\tThe next was the various sites and nodes she'd saved from the public network that hosted movies and shows. As before she started to listlessly sift though the sea of titles. She stopped at one of her favorites. `Budapest Roses'. A witty, quirky comedy she could never get her parents to watch with her. She opened it up, letting the opening play out. Familiar intro, familiar narration. The main character with the juxtaposition of refined noble Terran-born and unwitting bumbler ill served by his vast knowledge and cultural refinement.

\tIt should have made her laugh. At least smile. Instead as the familiar plot played out she only felt the creeping disquiet in her gut grow and sting though her limbs. After only a few minutes Brinna paused the video and shoved it off to the side with the rest. She did the same with all of her normal comforts. Her music play list, her backlog of cheesy erotica that `he' had wanted to hear. Character generators, gem auctions, the geology report. Every single shred of media she'd normally sink into for comfort streamed in front of her closed eyes one after he other and each time it only served to drive her deeper and harder into the well of despair.

\tBrinna finally grabbed at her eyes and screamed with frustration. She gripped hard at her temples. Twitching and all but clawing at them. She kicked at the wall and started to rock as the twisting dull thrum of wrong swelled from her head and into her chest until it threatened to simply consume her whole. She screamed. Loud and long and frustrated. A loud frustrated noise that shook her whole body.

\tBrinna yanked the jack cable free and tossed it aside. Then, with hands shaking, she started to pull out the contacts, setting them down next to her glasses on the bedside table. She wasn`t gentle. Wasn`t careful. She just wanted them out. Wanted the uncomfortable feelings to stop.

\tHer mother was in a heartbeat later. The stack of blankets pulled in around Brinna and hugged to her body oh so tight.

\tBrinna continued to thrash and buck and sob in frustration even as her mother pushed herself down on the girl and hugged her arms to her body. The excess blankets working like a makeshift net to hold Brinna down and keep her from kicking or swinging wildly.

\tKerri had more than enough strength from her work to keep the slender girl pinned tight in the bed. All the while stroking and petting the slowly forming birds next that was her long black hair. She shhhed and nuzzled into her child. Nosing her cheek and kissing at the stream of tears that started to flood down her fur and into the sheets.

\t

\t``Shh. It's ok. It's going to be ok. I promise you. No matter what happens it's going to be ok.'' Kerri muttered the words as sweetly as she could .Struggling at first to keep her girl in check and stop her from hurting herself. As Brinna calmed she simply hugged her tight. Laying there as she hummed a simple off-tune hymn. Slowly letting up as Brinnas body started to relax.

\t``It's not.'' Brinna muttered ``It's not ok. Nothing's ok. Nothing's going to be ok. I wanna be ok. Just make it stop. Please.'' she sobbed softly as her mother held her again. Tighter this time. Harder. At this point it felt like the only thing keeping her together.

\tThe sobbing continued until Brinnas limbs were too worn and sore to move anymore. Kerri stayed and continued to stroke her daughters hair for a while longer. Propping up the water bottle to let her get a nice long drink. When the older woman was finally sure she'd let Brinna tire out enough she pulled back a bit and ran her fingers though her hair. It was only two hours to shift. She wasn't sleeping tonight, as expected.

\t``You're daddy will be home son, ok sunshine?'' Kerri said more than asked ``Is there anything you need? Anything I can et you?''

\t``Water'' Brinna muttered ``And, can you turn the lights off when you go? They still kinda hurt.'' The words were almost childish,. Brinna barely able to keep her head straight enough to process anything more. She was just so tired, so burned out and weak. She just needed to sleep.

\t``Ok honey. But on one condition. I want you to keep your biopulse on for me and your father, ok? Just for tonight. We're going to try and see about helping you feel better tomorrow. But it'll just make us both feel more at ease if we can know you're safe. Ok?''

\t``Ok.'' Brinna nodded. She knew what her mom meant. She knew what they were worried about. The idea wasn't in her mind. Not really. Not that she could imagine hurting herself with anything in her room anyways. She just wanted to sleep. Wanted it so badly. ``I love you, Mommy.'' Brinna muttered as she yawned loudly.

\t``Love you too angel.'' Kerri looked down at her child and sighed. Almost twenty years old now, almost out of their hands for good. Yet she still looked like the same little girl she tucked in every night.

\tThe older dormouse put a kiss on Brinnas cheek, then on her forehead. Coming her fingers though her hair one more time before walking out and sliding the door shut behind her. The room returned to blackness. Real blackness this time. A dark, comforting, sealed little two by two meter crypt.

---------------------

\tThey were unfamiliar corridors. Maybe they shouldn't be. The young bear felt a knot of apprehension in his gut as he walked though the wood and silver hallways of the lower suites. He made his way towards the back room. A large open area surrounded by windows. Thick plates of clear ceramics keeping the occupant in perfect safety while giving her a view from the spire down to the city below.

\t``Sis'' The brown furred bear nodded as he looked down at the owner of the suite. A wolf girl hovering around her mid teens. The borderline emaciated girl lay near the back window on a fainting couch. Her body draped in an ill fitting silvery replica of a school uniform, complete with a few holographic touches of color to add the plaid. She held a game controller in one hand while the other pet the hair of a preoccupied rat girl sitting at the corner of the couch, toying with another controller and looking up at the large holographic projection in one of the windows.

\t``Big brother'' the wolf looked up and tilted her head. A note of surprise moving past her normally cool tone ``I'm surprised to see you in person like this.''

\t``Well I did say we needed to talk.'' he nodded

\t``Yeah. But I figured that meant I'd be getting a call from you later or something. I didn't think you'd bother moving your considerable butt on down here.'' She teased ``I mean if you want the specs for my latest processor architecture I'd be happy to get a basic write up over to you or something.''

\tHe shook his head and did his best to bite back a growl. The brat was always so snide. Normally he was fine. Not today. Not now. ``Sorry, but I'm really not in the mood.`` he muttered ``When I said I need a favor I meant it. I still do. You owe me plenty.''

\t``I don't owe you anything, big brother. Not really'' The wolf said with an impish giggle. ``Especially not when you come in all serious trying to make demands. But you know I never have a problem hearing you out. Go on, tell me what you need.''

\t

\t``I want a hack to the video feeds. Block 147, Section D. Corner of Whiteoak and Seventh.''

\t``Really? That's it?'' She sighed

\t``Is that a problem?'' he asked

\t``Well I mean it's a bit of a pain to get into the public systems like that.'' A lie, one she found impossible to hide with her smirk ``But It's also pretty trivial. I think your lil sis at least deserves a bit of motivation here. What's so special about that corner?

\t``Not just that corner. That corner, Eighteen twenty last night.''

\t``Why?'' the wolf girl whined a bit ``Come on now this is really kind of pathetic. Why don't you lighten up and tell me what happened? It`s no fun being this out of the loop.''

\t``Look can you do it or not?'' he growled ``if not Ill be happy to take the time and do it myself but we both know you`d be faster. You already have the back doors. Don`t pretend like you don`t.''

\t``I would if you'd just tell me what this is all about.'' the wolf laughed haughtily ``You can't rile me up like this and not give me some idea of what's going on. I mean come on this really isn't like you. Well ok the boring part is. But even for you this is really odd.''

\tThe bear bit back on a growl ``I want to know who attacked a girl there last night, ok? Two officers. I want names.''

\tThe younger sibling sighed and shook her head ``A girl? That's it? What some streetwalker or something? Look I know you've got your whole moral superiority thing or whatever it is, but it's not like you can stop every-''

\t``She is `my' girl, Ilka'' he said firmly.

\tThe wolf sat, dumbfounded, still. Her shoulders squared and back straightened. Ears perking up ever so slightly as she looked at him a long moment.

\t``Go'' She said, firmly

\t``What? But I''

\t``Go. You want it done. Go. See your girl, calm down. Just, just go. I`ll contact you when I know something.''

\tThe bear paused a moment, but quickly turned and complied. Walking back out of the room in a slight huff. Ilka waited until the lift lowered before waving her hand and bringing up a bright blue and gold keypad display into her field of view. Fingers quickly over the keys as she began. ``Mothefuckers.'' She snarled coldly ``Nobody hurts big brother.''

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