This story takes place ~3 months after the end of Charlie. It features mentions of non sexual child abuse, both verbal and physical. It deals with depression, anxiety, and self doubt. It is very emotionally heavy. This chapter contains no sex. If you cannot handle or do not like these topics, please leave now or use your blacklist.

Christmas

Chapter 1

Dexter woke up to a deep vibration rumbling through him, his eyes slowly fluttering open as he felt a hand slowly and gently petting up and down his back. He'd fallen asleep in his favorite position again, curled into a little ball holding his big fluffy tail with his face nuzzled into Charlie's chest, the young cheetah's arms wrapped around him and hugging him close, gently petting him until they both fell asleep. Dexter let go of his tail and wrapped his free arm around Charlie, pulling him closer and gently rubbing his face into the soft fur of the boy's chest before slowly lifting his head to look at the older boy holding him. He leaned his face up to meet Charlie's and placed a gentle kiss on the purring cheetah's lips, the young cheetah smiling ear to ear as he squeezed the young gray squirrel in his arms.
“Good morning, Dex. How'd you sleep?” he asked, placing a quick kiss on Dexter's forehead. “Good. I always sleep good with you.” he said with a light blush and a smile before rolling over and sitting up. “It's winter break, finally. Are you excited for Christmas?” the young squirrel asked, turning to look down at the cheetah still laying comfortably on his bed. “Oh. Uh, I don't know. I haven't really thought about Christmas in a couple years. It was never uh…it wasn't really a big thing for me growing up. Even less so after the divorce. It's nice to have time away from school, though. More time with you.” he said, an unmistakable sadness in his eyes that Dexter noticed immediately despite the slight smile on the feline's face.
Dexter reached for Charlie's hand on the bed and gave it a gentle squeeze before leaning down to kiss the boy on his cheek, the young cheetah unable to stop himself from smiling and blushing lightly. “You're cute when you blush.” Dexter said with a smile, placing another quick kiss on his cheek for emphasis before sitting up again. “Is it weird that it's been three months and it still feels strange to be called cute?” Charlie asked as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up. “Do you want me to stop?” Dexter asked, a slight sadness in his voice. Charlie leaned towards the squirrel on the edge of the bed and gently hugged him from behind. “Don't you dare.” he said, giving the boy a light squeeze. “Want to go see if there's anything for breakfast?” Dexter asked as he stood and picked his shirt up off the floor, quickly pulling it on and walking towards the bedroom door.
Dexter sat and chewed a mouthful of waffles, his spirits high from sleeping well and waking up so comfortably. He looked over to the cheetah next to him and felt a hint of concern as he watched the boy stare off into the distance, idly picking at his scrambled eggs as he rested his head on one hand. Dexter knew that look, as he'd seen it plenty of times before over the few months they'd been living together. The boy was visibly stressed about something, and had been for several days, seemingly even more so this morning. Dexter didn't like to push or pry for information, he knew Charlie would talk to him when he was ready, but he couldn't help but feel bad for being unable to help. It was a feeling Dexter knew well, having troubles but not being ready to open up. Charlie watched as Dexter stood and took their plates to the sink, his mind racing as he worked up the courage to speak. “Hey, Dexter? Can...can we go for a walk?”
Dexter struggled to keep up with Charlie as they walked towards the park, the young teen huffing and panting, nearly out of breath from the long walk as he followed his anxious companion. They went on walks together frequently, but never this far. Dexter felt an anxious pit forming in his stomach as Charlie rounded the corner and walked into the park, watching as the young feline headed straight towards a familiar set of bleachers. Dexter followed Charlie as he crouched between the support beams of the bench to sit underneath it, picking up a splintered plywood sheet from the dirt and propping it up against the bars to act as a wall. Charlie slipped his backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it, pulling out a small tattered blanket and laying it out flat on the ground before sitting on it and motioning to Dexter to sit across from him while he pulled their snacks and drinks out.
Charlie anxiously nibbled on a chip as he tried to work up the nerve to speak, feeling awful as he noticed the effect his mood was having on his friend. “I-I lied about how much time I spent here. It wasn't just an occasional thing. I spent more time here than I spent at home over the last year before school started. This was my home. Unless I needed to charge my phone or change my clothes, I was here, alone, avoiding my mom. This was where I felt safe. It's far enough away that she never would have bothered even trying to look for me here, but it's close enough that I could go home and do what I needed when she was passed out. I haven't been here since my panic attack a while back.” he said, his eyes visibly watering as he tried to hold back tears.
The boys sat in silence for a moment before Dexter scooted forward and reached out to take Charlie's hand, the young feline looking up to meet his eyes as he felt the younger boy touch him. Dexter felt a pain in his heart seeing the boy's face as he fought off his tears. He didn't know what to say, and he didn't want to say anything until he knew Charlie was done talking. Charlie trembled slightly as he forced himself to continue. “I’ve been t-thinking about this place a lot lately. I-is it bad that I miss it sometimes? L-like, I don't feel like I d-deserve any better. S-sometimes I just feel like...i still belong here, sleeping in the dirt. Like I'm not worth...not worth what you all have done for me.” he couldn't hold back his tears anymore as he stuttered out his words, Dexter sniffling lightly as he felt his own eyes beginning to well up. 
Dexter squeezed the young cheetah's hand lightly, placing his other hand over top of it to rub reassuringly. “I-I know it's stupid, a-and it's not true. I love you s-so much, and your parents. You guys have made me feel so loved and welcome, and I'm m-more grateful for you than I could ever express. I'm s-sorry if my mood has been stressing you out. It's n-not fair for me to keep quiet when I know you want to help.” he said with a light sniffle. “I d-don't know why I brought you here. I needed to c-come back, but I didn't want to be alone. I don't like being alone a-anymore. Not since I met you.” he said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
Dexter watched as tears dripped down from Charlie's face onto the blanket below, quickly crawling over to sit next to the boy and hugging him tightly from the side. They sat in silence and cried until Dexter could bring himself to speak. “I don't think it's stupid. S-sometimes we just don't feel like we deserve what we have, especially the nice things. W-when you're used to feeling like garbage, sometimes you don't know how to handle feeling good. I feel like that sometimes, too. You're not alone.” he ended his sentence by squeezing the boy tightly and gently kissing his cheek. “Thank you for telling me. I know it's hard to talk about your problems. It's hard for me, too. I love you too, Charlie.” 
Charlie leaned into the hug, tears flowing freely down his cheeks as he sniffled and sobbed lightly while his boyfriend comforted him. “I need to see my mom. I-I need to see if she's any better. I need her to see that I'm doing better. W-will you come with me? Next time my dad comes over I'm going to ask him to take me to see her. E-even Jimmy called me to apologize for how he treated me, I feel like I have to at least give her a chance. They gave her three years, and the prison isn't far. I should at least see her once.” Dexter squeezed tighter and nodded his head. “Of course I'll go with you. Anything you need, I'm there. You know that.” 
Dexter sat and held Charlie until his sniffling stopped, slowly replaced with a comforting rumble as he started purring from the attention. Dexter couldn't help but smile when he felt the boy's vibrations, letting out a small chuckle as he squeezed him gently once more before letting go. He turned so they sat side by side and leaned his head against the taller boy's shoulder and grabbed a chip from the bag in front of them. They enjoyed their snack in silence, enjoying each other's company until the bag was empty and Charlie turned to speak. “Since we're already out this far, do you want to come meet someone very special to me?” Dexter nodded and watched as Charlie gathered up their garbage and rolled his blanket up to put back into his bag, standing up to follow as he crouched back out from under the bleachers.
Dexter felt his heart racing slightly as he stood in front of an unfamiliar door. Charlie knocked and squeezed the young squirrel's hand as they both waited for an answer. Dexter didn't know why he was nervous. He knew he had no real reason to be, but the thought of meeting someone from Charlie's life filled him with an anxiety he couldn't explain. He worried they would think he wasn't good enough for the boy, or try to take him away. The thought of someone taking Charlie away scared him more than anything in the world.
Dexter felt his heart skip a beat when he heard the lock on the door click open. An unexpected sense of calm washed over him when he watched the door slowly swing open and saw the elderly kangaroo in the doorway with a large happy smile across her face and a surprised sparkle in her eye when she recognized the young feline on her porch. “Hello M-!” Charlie was cut off before he could continue his greeting as the woman quickly jolted forward and took him into a strong embrace. 
Charlie hugged the woman back as soon as the initial sense of surprise wore off, the two of them squeezing each other tightly. Dexter couldn't help but smile at the display as he stood and watched from off to the side as the two began to separate, faint trails of happy tears visible on both their faces as they smiled at each other. “H-hello, Mrs. Blythe. It's good to see you again.” Charlie said as he wiped his eyes. The kangaroo smiled warmly as she took a step back to take a look at the young feline before her. “You look good, Charlie. You've been eating well since I saw you last. Come in, please. Both of you.” she said as she turned and walked back inside.
The three of them sat at a small rectangular table in the dining room, playing cards laid about from a game of solitaire the boys had interrupted. The smell of warm, freshly baked bread wafted through the air as the kangaroo gathered her cards and placed them back into their box, chuckling quietly to herself as she eyed the two boys sitting across from her awkwardly. “Are you going to introduce us, dear?” she asked with a smile as she set the cards down and headed into the kitchen towards the fridge. The boys watched as she pulled out a few cans of soda and a bag of sliced deli meat, Charlie quickly getting up to help bring things to the table as she headed for the loaf of bread sitting on the counter. 
Dexter smiled as he eyed the snacks on the table, taking a slice of bread onto his small plate and buttering it before taking a bite as Charlie sat down. “Mrs. Blythe, this is Dexter. H-he's, uhm, well...h-he's m-my boyfriend.” the cheetah stammered out with a deep crimson blush burning across his face. Dexter briefly choked on his bread in surprise at the introduction, not expecting the boy to be so immediately open about their relationship given their general shy secretiveness about it around others. Mrs. Blythe smiled wide and laughed briefly at the young squirrel's struggle as she reached over and opened his soda can for him, pushing it closer. “Take a drink, dear. You'll hear no judgements from me.” she said as she watched him pick up the can and take a drink to wash down the crumbs in his throat. 
Dexter took a second to catch his breath after he finished drinking, his own cheeks visibly red through his light gray fur as he spoke. “H-hello, Mrs. Blythe. Sorry, I uh, he's never just told anybody about us like that. It caught me off guard.” The kangaroo smiled warmly. “Charlie knows he doesn't have to keep things from me. I've been watching him since he was a baby. Though he still should have asked you if it was okay, first.” she said, briefly glaring at the blushing cheetah, causing him to look straight down at the table with an apologetic look as he avoided eye contact. “S-sorry.” he squeaked out quietly as his face burned bright with shame and embarrassment from the scolding.
The kangaroo sipped her own drink before setting it down and continuing. “It's good to see Charlie's made a friend since he left. The last I saw him was the day his mom got picked up. Last I heard about him was from his father the next day saying he was staying with a new friend from school.” she said as she reached for a slice of bread. “It's nice to meet you, Dexter. You can call me Agnis. I was happy to hear Charlie had made a friend, but to see one in person fills me with pride. Are you who he's been staying with?” she asked with a warm smile. Dexter nodded and reached out to grab Charlie's hand on the table, gently squeezing it. “Yes, and he's the best friend I could ever ask for.” he said with a blush and a slight smile.
Agnis smiled and felt herself starting to tear up as she heard Charlie starting to purr while Dexter gently rubbed and squeezed his hand as they talked. Seeing the boy she'd helped raise finally be happy was a welcome change, and one she hoped would last forever. “So what brought you here today, Charlie? Did you just want to say hi and introduce us?” she asked with a quick glance to the young squirrel across from her. Charlie took a moment to sip his drink before he spoke. “I uh, I've been having a bit of a rough time lately. I needed to come by. I took Dexter to the park because I needed to just...be home again, I guess. But I didn't want to be alone. We were already nearby and I felt bad for not coming to see you since that day, and I thought it would be nice if you two met. I missed you a lot, but I was always scared to come back. I'm sorry.” 
Agnis stood from her chair and walked around the table to hug Charlie as she noticed his eyes starting to well up again. “Don't be sorry, dear. You found a new place to call home, and I'm happy for you. I'm beyond thrilled that you've made a friend, and a very special one at that. I've never seen you so happy. I can't even feel your ribs anymore!” she said with a chuckle as she released him and playfully poked at his chest. Charlie smiled and blushed, giving a soft chuckle as Agnis poked him. “Yeah, I haven't had a day without food since I met him. Even the day you drove me to school he shared his lunch with me. H-he's really special. I-I love him. I love him a lot.” he said, cheeks burning bright as he struggled to hold back tears of joy. Dexter couldn't help but blush as Charlie talked about him, a comforting warmth fluttering through him as he sat and listened.
The three of them sat and talked for a while as Charlie caught his old neighbor up on how life and school had been since he left while Dexter happily listened, smiling and nodding along as they traded stories. The mood changed quickly when Charlie brought up his mother, Dexter feeling a chill up his spine as the old kangaroo across from him took on a look of anger he'd never seen on anyone before. She sat quietly while Charlie spoke, but Dexter could feel the hatred radiating from the sweet woman across the table. Charlie didn't notice her shift in demeanor, though he felt a sense of anger and disappointment of his own as he spoke of his mother. “I want to go see her soon.” he said, Agnis' eyes going wide immediately as she choked on her drink and dropped the can, the rest of her soda spilling onto the floor as the can rolled off the table. Charlie and Dexter both quickly shot out of their chairs to help as she caught her breath, Charlie grabbing the roll of paper towels off the counter to soak up the sticky mess from the floor.
“Charlie, why? Why would you do that to yourself?” she finally said when she caught her breath. “I-I don't know. I just...I need to see her. I need to see if she's changed. I need her to see that I'm doing better. I need to give her a chance. I don't know. It scares me, I just need to see her once. Maybe being locked up will actually help.” he said sadly, unconvinced by his own words. Agnis' heart ached from seeing the boy look so defeated. “Charlie, I love you dearly. I love you like you're my own, and you practically are. You're growing up, and I won't tell you what you can or can't do. It's not my place. But I'm giving you this warning now anyways. She hasn't changed, and she won't change. I've always hated your mother, and for good reason. I've hated her since long before she cheated on your father. She's always been a spiteful, angry woman. She's always treated you like dirt, since well before she started drinking. Do you know why you spent so much time here as a child, Charlie? It's because she couldn't stand being near you. You were too rambunctious, she couldn't handle it. She took every opportunity possible to pass you off to someone else. When you were six, she dropped you off at my door with no notice because she came home and saw that you'd drawn on the wall with chalk. Instead of cleaning you up and telling you not to draw on the walls, she drove you here and left you on my porch in the middle of the night with nothing but the shirt and shorts you fell asleep in. I was still awake and I heard her angrily mumbling to herself about having a quote 'broken retard for a kid' before she ran back to her car and drove off. If I wasn't awake to bring you in right away you would have probably ended up sick in the hospital, and she didn't care.” 
Charlie sat wide eyed, his mouth agape as he listened to Agnis' story, flinching in surprise as the crying squirrel next to him gently grabbed his hand again for comfort as they both listened in shock. “When I saw her the next day after dropping you off, I told her I'd kill her in her sleep if she ever pulled that again, and oh boy did she believe it. I never told your father about that, and I feel guilty for it every day. But my threat seemed to get through to her very clearly. She got better at hiding her sheer disdain for your existence. It helped that you started to calm down a little as you got older, and she got better at ignoring you. That's all she ever did, Charlie. All she did for your entire life was ignore you and then pass you off to me when she couldn't anymore. It's partly my fault, I know. I take responsibility for letting it continue, but your father loved her and I didn't want to break his heart. He worked so hard to make things work with her, and I was more than happy to take care of you when needed. I should have stepped in and said something, but I justified staying silent in my head because she stopped short of ever getting physical with you, and I didn't want to ruin your father so I stayed quiet and continued to take care of you.” 
Agnis took a moment to breathe when she felt herself starting to cry as anger and sadness swirled together through her while she spoke. Dexter's heart hurt, a profound sadness swirling around his chest as he listened to the abuse his lover had to endure growing up. He squeezed Charlie's hand tighter as he sniffled and cried, the young cheetah's face stuck in a state of shock as he processed what he was hearing. “Charlie the only reason I helped your mom buy the trailer next to mine is so I could take care of you when your father left. She got so much worse, and when you showed up to my door crying and covered in blood, that was it. I have no good will left to give her. If I ever see her again in my life I will break the bitch's nose without hesitation.” Charlie gasped and flinched at the woman's words. He'd never heard her swear before in his life, and he knew she was serious. “You're setting yourself up for nothing but disappointment and sadness if you go see her, I promise you. I've said what I have to say about it, but I respect you and I respect your decision regardless of my feelings for her.”
Charlie sat in stunned silence for a moment as he processed what he'd been told. He felt cold, both inside and out. An immense sense of sadness weighed heavy on his heart as he sat and cried, his tears slowly dripping off his face and splattering against the table he sat hunched over. He knew she was right. He knew before she said anything that he would be disappointed if he went to see his mother again, but he held out hope that it would be different. “T-thank you. F-for everything. For helping take care of me, for being patient with me, for not giving up on me. Uhm, I-I know I'm setting myself up here, but I have to see her. I w-won't feel right if I don't do this. I'm sorry.” he stuttered out between sniffles.
Agnis reached across the table and gently grabbed Charlie's free hand, looking him in the eyes. “Don't ever be sorry for being you, Charlie. You've always been a sweet and caring boy, I understand what you mean. I just don't want to see you hurt again.” she said with a gentle squeeze of his hand. Charlie opened his mouth to speak only to be interrupted by a muffled tone from Dexter's pocket, the young squirrel quickly pulling out his phone. “My mom wants to know where we are, she said dinner's almost ready. S-sorry.” he said with an apologetic look. Agnis smiled warmly at the boy. “Come, let me drive you home at least.” she said as she stood from her chair and walked towards the pair of keys dangling from a small hook on the wall. 
Charlie and Dexter sat in the back seat as Agnis drove them home. Dexter gently held Charlie's hand as it lay on the middle seat between them, squeezing gently and lightly rubbing his thumb across the small amount of fur it made contact with. Agnis briefly glanced in the rear view mirror and smiled at the sight, a warmth spreading through her at the thought of the lonely, troubled boy she helped raise finally having some level of stability and happiness in his life after so long. “Which house, dear?” she asked as she turned the corner onto Dexter's street. “This next one.” Dexter said as he looked up and watched the houses slowly pass by as the kangaroo slowed her car and stopped in front of his house. “Oh, I didn't know your father was in town.” she said, causing Charlie's head to jolt up and look around briefly in confusion until he saw the tall man standing in the doorway.
Charlie quickly unbuckled himself and opened the door, Agnis quickly getting his attention before he could run up to greet his surprise visitor. “Charlie, dear, could you send him down here for me, please? I think it's about time he learned a few things, as well.” she asked, Charlie giving a quick nod before running up the driveway to hug his dad. Dexter sat and smiled at the sight of the pair smiling as they greeted each other before he unbuckled himself. “Thank you for the ride, and the snacks. It- it was nice to meet someone from Charlie's life. He hasn't talked about it much, and I understand why, but still. I'm happy he had you to watch over him.” he said, feeling himself start to tear up again but stopping himself from crying. “No, Dexter. Thank you. He's always been such a sweet kid, but he's always had bad luck with finding good people. I used to watch his father, and once he had Charlie I was more than happy to watch him as well. They both struggled in a lot of the same ways but Charlie had it so much worse in his earlier years. I don't suppose you've been struggling to think of a Christmas present for him?” she asked, Dexter lightly blushing in embarrassment, looking down and nodding as she eyed him in the rear view mirror. “I think I have an idea.” she said with a warm smile as Dexter's head perked back up.
Dexter sat on his bedroom floor, quietly flipping through his game collection trying to decide on something to play. He looked over to Charlie sitting next to him, staring at the floor with an empty look on his face and felt a pang of sadness in his heart. “Charlie? Do you want to play with me for a little bit?” Dexter asked, turning to look at the young cheetah who sat silently. “Ch-charlie?” he asked again, slowly reaching a hand out and gently placing it on the boy's shoulder to get his attention. Charlie jolted slightly in surprise, head bolting up to look around until he saw the squirrel next to him and took a deep breath to calm himself. “Huh? What's up?” he asked quietly. “Do you want to play anything with me tonight?” he asked again. Charlie slowly shook his head. “No, not tonight. I uh, I think I'm just going to go to bed, actually. I'm sorry.” he said, quickly leaning over to hug Dexter and give him a quick kiss on the cheek before standing and walking over to the bed, dropping his jeans to the floor and kicking them off to the side before pulling on a pair of pajama pants and flopping down onto the mattress, rolling over to face the wall.
Dexter sat in silence for a moment as he watched his friend lay on his bed, perfectly still until he heard the faint but unmistakable sound of light sniffles coming from him. Dexter quickly turned off the TV and stood, walking to the bed and laying down. The squirrel wrapped an arm around Charlie and pulled him close, squeezing tightly as the young cheetah's sniffles intensified into sobs. “W-why d-didn't she want me? What did-” he was cut off by his words catching in his throat as his body started to tremble. “W-what did I do wrong? W-why does she hate me? I don't understand. I just- I was just born a-and she c-couldn't stand me. W-why am I so broken?” he asked between deep, sorrowful sobs that made Dexter's heart ache far deeper down than he'd ever felt before. “w-why can't i- why can't I just be loved? I just want to feel loved. I just want people to like me. I w-want to feel okay inside, I don't want to f-f-feel so f-fucking stupid and broken and dumb all the time. I just want to be normal. I just want m-my mom to treat me like a s-son. I don't-” his words caught in his throat and refused to come out as he choked and hiccuped on his sobs.
Dexter felt like a hot knife was twisting through his heart as he held his lover, this tall, sweet, loving boy he held so dear that now seemed so incredibly small and vulnerable as he poured his pain out into the air. Dexter squeezed as tightly as he could, holding the cheetah as close as possible as they cried together. “Why am I so broken? What did I do? I'm sorry. I'm sorry…” he sobbed out before he stopped talking and just let himself cry, his tears streaming hard down his face and soaking into his pillow. “You're not broken. You're you, and I love you. You didn't do anything wrong, Charlie. Please don't blame yourself for how she treated you. That's all her, that's not you. You have nothing to be sorry for. I promise.” Dexter said as he felt his own tears soaking into his fur.
Dexter pulled away slightly and moved his hand onto Charlie's shoulder, gently pulling on it. “Hey, c-come here. Turn around for me, Charlie. Come here.” he said softly, the cheetah slowly rolling onto his back before pointlessly wiping his arm across his face to soak up his still running tears. He turned to face Dexter and looked him in the eye as the young squirrel slowly set his hand on the boy's face, gently rubbing his thumb up and down on his damp cheek. “Charlie I promise you never did anything wrong. You're not broken, you're not stupid. You're not any of the fucked up things she called you or made you feel like, okay? You're sweet and funny and you're an amazing person. You're my best friend, and you're my boyfriend, and I love you so fucking much. This isn't your fault. None of this is or ever was your fault, okay? She's not like this because of you. It was never because of you. It's just her, okay?” he said, trying his hardest not to stutter or stop and sniffle. Charlie sobbed hard and gently nodded his head before reaching out and wrapping his arm around Dexter, pulling himself closer to the boy and nuzzling his face into the smaller boy's chest. “I-I'm s-s-sorry. T-thank you.” the cheetah stuttered out as he squeezed the boy tightly, his tears soaking into the squirrel's shirt.
Dexter hugged tightly and laid his hand on Charlie's head, holding him and gently petting him. “Shhhh, it's okay, Charlie. It's okay. You're okay.” he whispered softly, placing a gentle kiss on top of his head as they held each other. Dexter pet his head softly until his trembling and sobbing stopped, slowly replaced by a calm and gentle rumble as the young feline started purring. Dexter smiled at the feeling as his own tears finally stopped flowing, feeling his companions grip around him loosen slightly as they both fell asleep.