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25/100 = 1/4
25/500 = 1/20","writing":" Wallace was excited. It wasn't often that he got to try something new. Granted, the Pizza Ring he was setting on the baking sheet could be considered variation on a theme, he felt it was different enough to be treated as new.\n He was a little disappointed when he opened the box. Somehow, he thought the Pizza Ring would be bigger. It was almost like he forgot that it was ring shape, with a gaping hole in the middle. It was thick, but first impression was that there was some missing.\n The oven had been preheated to 375 degrees fahrenheit. According to the instructions, which he knew could be hit-or-miss, he had forty minutes to wait, forty long minutes to try to stay out of trouble. He began to write.\n\n Sheena was dead on the floor. Likely for real this time. Causality had been restored and she had her gore fucked as she was bleeding out. Everyone knew exactly how this happened and how it came to be. Charles's penis was dripping blood and semen. Though he didn't feel anything over murdering Sheena (he had already experienced it before causality was restored), he was beginning to feel disgust at using the hole in her abdoment to get off.\n \"Mind putting that [i]thing[/i] away?\"\n \"I don't see the difference between my penis and your pink strap-on.\"\n \"My strap on is cute. And not a living, pulsating thing. Let me compare. It's the difference between drawing a headstone that says 'RIP' on it and the gory used up corpse at your feet.\"\n Emily had a point, at least about the dead body. They'd all have to do something about the deeryeena. Probably something wholesome and cub-friendly.\n \"Well, I reckon we could just feed 'er to th' hogs,\" Jefferson chimed in.\n The sheepdyke blinked. She didn't feel a sickening urge to point out Jefferson's presence, perhaps because she knew he was there, or she expected him to still be there. It didn't matter, something inside her seemed to reassure. She took note of it, there was always something else to have to remember. She couldn't count on Charles for any of it.\n \"But Jefferson, I thought you wanted us to all be friends and shit,\" Emily was confused.\n \"You know I does, but Sheena ain't there no more. That's just a body. An' them hogs is hungry.\"\n For having just fucked a mutilated female until she died, Charles looked mortified.\n \"So, uh, what would happen if, Emily or I died?\"\n \"Them hogs sure is hungry.\"\n Charles's penis fell, flaccid.\n \"So, there's no difference?\"\n \"But y'all ain't gonna die. Even if ya did you wouldn't stay dead. Shoot dern, even if ya did, you'd just come back in a shiiiiiny new body.\"\n \"Fucking hell, Jefferson is a religious nut. Best part of hicks. Godsucking religion.\"\n Jefferson just grinned his redneck grin. His eyes were hollow like he was an old bat trying to remember the glory days of youth. \n \"Maybe we can just move her across the room?\"\n \"Yeah and when Jefferson leaves to play with himself on the farm he can drag her with him.\"\n \"We could [i]all[/i] go to my farm!\"\n \"Fucking sorry, Jefferson. I'm not going to your farm. Though it probably smells better than rotting deeryeena. And nasty doe pussy. I've got shit to do. [i]Some[/i]one has to be a genius and get us out of here.\"\n \"But if'n we go to the farm, we'll be out of here.\"\n Emily sighed. Charles sympathized. Emily was talking about the nightmare. Jefferson was talking about the room that smelled like nasty doe pussy and death, but mostly like nasty doe pussy. Charles just wanted to feel clean again, physically or morally.\n Emily broke the awkward silence. \n \"Charles, you and Jefferson carry Sheena to the farm. You can clean up with a gay shower. The nasty doe pussy smell is rough but there's also vomit and piss. So go get clean and dirty and clean again, I'll.....have some alone time.\"\n Charles frowned, \"What if the door doesn't lead outside?\"\n \"Just keep pressing onward. Maybe you'll find another door or something. I mean is it that damn hard? What the fuck are you standing on? Don't look down. Or do. You won't be able to perceive anything beyond your understanding.\"\n Jefferson grabbed Sheena's lifeless arms. Charles grabbed her by the legs and hoped she wouldn't let out a raucous postmortem queef. The fox backed out of the door, carrying his part of the load. Sheena's body bore part of Charles's load that hadn't bled out. \n Emily called out to Jefferson, \"Be careful with him, he doesn't have an anus!\"\n She closed the door behind them, certain they'd make their way to the farm.\n She smirked to herself, \"Now it's just us. What will you reveal next?\"\n\n Wallace knew better than to trust the pictures of frozen items. He was still taken aback by the end result. The Pizza Ring somehow came out of the oven looking sadder than when it went in. It almost looked like it was melting or deflating. Instead of cheese oozing out of it, like what happens to pizza pockets, it was grease and sausage bubbling forth. It was nauseating and he hadn't even taken a bite.\n The calico moved the Pizza Ring onto his plate with some difficulty. It was hot, as it should have been. It kept not cooling off, which was annoying. However, being ring shape, once it cooled off, it was easy to eat as it was basically a large pizza-flavor doughnut.\n Halfway through, he entertained himself by pretending it was a phone. He held it up to his face so that one part of the curve pointed to his ear and one pointed to his mouth.\n \"Hello? Is this pizza?\"\n He waited a moment and pretended to hear a response.\n \"Yes, I'll hold.\"\n He waited a moment and pretended to hear bland music.\n \"Oh, yes, hello. Is this pizza?\"\n He waited a moment and pretended to hear a response.\n \"It's Wallace, you're my best friend. I like you a lot!\"\n He then continued to eat the Pizza Ring and pretended he wasn't really that dumb. He was thankful he lived alone and no one witnessed him making a fool of himself for his own moderate enjoyment.","writing_bbcode_parsed":" Wallace was excited. It wasn't often that he got to try something new. Granted, the Pizza Ring he was setting on the baking sheet could be considered variation on a theme, he felt it was different enough to be treated as new.
He was a little disappointed when he opened the box. Somehow, he thought the Pizza Ring would be bigger. It was almost like he forgot that it was ring shape, with a gaping hole in the middle. It was thick, but first impression was that there was some missing.
The oven had been preheated to 375 degrees fahrenheit. According to the instructions, which he knew could be hit-or-miss, he had forty minutes to wait, forty long minutes to try to stay out of trouble. He began to write.
Sheena was dead on the floor. Likely for real this time. Causality had been restored and she had her gore fucked as she was bleeding out. Everyone knew exactly how this happened and how it came to be. Charles's penis was dripping blood and semen. Though he didn't feel anything over murdering Sheena (he had already experienced it before causality was restored), he was beginning to feel disgust at using the hole in her abdoment to get off.
"Mind putting that thing away?"
"I don't see the difference between my penis and your pink strap-on."
"My strap on is cute. And not a living, pulsating thing. Let me compare. It's the difference between drawing a headstone that says 'RIP' on it and the gory used up corpse at your feet."
Emily had a point, at least about the dead body. They'd all have to do something about the deeryeena. Probably something wholesome and cub-friendly.
"Well, I reckon we could just feed 'er to th' hogs," Jefferson chimed in.
The sheepdyke blinked. She didn't feel a sickening urge to point out Jefferson's presence, perhaps because she knew he was there, or she expected him to still be there. It didn't matter, something inside her seemed to reassure. She took note of it, there was always something else to have to remember. She couldn't count on Charles for any of it.
"But Jefferson, I thought you wanted us to all be friends and shit," Emily was confused.
"You know I does, but Sheena ain't there no more. That's just a body. An' them hogs is hungry."
For having just fucked a mutilated female until she died, Charles looked mortified.
"So, uh, what would happen if, Emily or I died?"
"Them hogs sure is hungry."
Charles's penis fell, flaccid.
"So, there's no difference?"
"But y'all ain't gonna die. Even if ya did you wouldn't stay dead. Shoot dern, even if ya did, you'd just come back in a shiiiiiny new body."
"Fucking hell, Jefferson is a religious nut. Best part of hicks. Godsucking religion."
Jefferson just grinned his redneck grin. His eyes were hollow like he was an old bat trying to remember the glory days of youth.
"Maybe we can just move her across the room?"
"Yeah and when Jefferson leaves to play with himself on the farm he can drag her with him."
"We could all go to my farm!"
"Fucking sorry, Jefferson. I'm not going to your farm. Though it probably smells better than rotting deeryeena. And nasty doe pussy. I've got shit to do. Someone has to be a genius and get us out of here."
"But if'n we go to the farm, we'll be out of here."
Emily sighed. Charles sympathized. Emily was talking about the nightmare. Jefferson was talking about the room that smelled like nasty doe pussy and death, but mostly like nasty doe pussy. Charles just wanted to feel clean again, physically or morally.
Emily broke the awkward silence.
"Charles, you and Jefferson carry Sheena to the farm. You can clean up with a gay shower. The nasty doe pussy smell is rough but there's also vomit and piss. So go get clean and dirty and clean again, I'll.....have some alone time."
Charles frowned, "What if the door doesn't lead outside?"
"Just keep pressing onward. Maybe you'll find another door or something. I mean is it that damn hard? What the fuck are you standing on? Don't look down. Or do. You won't be able to perceive anything beyond your understanding."
Jefferson grabbed Sheena's lifeless arms. Charles grabbed her by the legs and hoped she wouldn't let out a raucous postmortem queef. The fox backed out of the door, carrying his part of the load. Sheena's body bore part of Charles's load that hadn't bled out.
Emily called out to Jefferson, "Be careful with him, he doesn't have an anus!"
She closed the door behind them, certain they'd make their way to the farm.
She smirked to herself, "Now it's just us. What will you reveal next?"
Wallace knew better than to trust the pictures of frozen items. He was still taken aback by the end result. The Pizza Ring somehow came out of the oven looking sadder than when it went in. It almost looked like it was melting or deflating. Instead of cheese oozing out of it, like what happens to pizza pockets, it was grease and sausage bubbling forth. It was nauseating and he hadn't even taken a bite.
The calico moved the Pizza Ring onto his plate with some difficulty. It was hot, as it should have been. It kept not cooling off, which was annoying. However, being ring shape, once it cooled off, it was easy to eat as it was basically a large pizza-flavor doughnut.
Halfway through, he entertained himself by pretending it was a phone. He held it up to his face so that one part of the curve pointed to his ear and one pointed to his mouth.
"Hello? Is this pizza?"
He waited a moment and pretended to hear a response.
"Yes, I'll hold."
He waited a moment and pretended to hear bland music.
"Oh, yes, hello. Is this pizza?"
He waited a moment and pretended to hear a response.
"It's Wallace, you're my best friend. I like you a lot!"
He then continued to eat the Pizza Ring and pretended he wasn't really that dumb. He was thankful he lived alone and no one witnessed him making a fool of himself for his own moderate enjoyment.","pools_count":1,"title":"Idle Hands, pt. 5","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"text/rtf","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"2","rating_name":"Adult","ratings":[{"content_tag_id":"4","name":"Sexual Themes","description":"Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal","rating_id":"2"},{"content_tag_id":"5","name":"Strong Violence","description":"Strong violence, blood, serious injury or death","rating_id":"2"}],"submission_type_id":"12","type_name":"Writing - Document","guest_block":"t","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"0","views":"8","sales_description":null,"forsale":"f","digitalsales":"f","printsales":"f","digital_price":""}