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Partially based on true events, and I wanted to give it a happy ending. Really hope you enjoy it! ", "description_bbcode_parsed": "This is one of my older series of stories. Partially based on true events, and I wanted to give it a happy ending. Really hope you enjoy it! ", "writing": "Class let out at the usual time, 3:15. Audie congratulated himself at telling Kevin to be there at 3:00, just in case Kevin thought that that was the time he was supposed to leave the house. Now that would be a cushion in case Kevin couldn’t find the bus.\n\nAlmost sick with apprehension, Audie made his way to the bus stop. Miracle of miracles, Kevin was there talking with Greg, and he was dressed in his good clothes. All was well! Audie’s heart slowed down. Well, all was almost well. Kevin’s hair was a mess. The boy had put on a clean T-shirt after taking off the old one and hadn’t looked in the mirror at the result. Audie was so glad that that was all that was wrong, he pulled out his own comb, intending to fix the problem at once. However, as soon as Greg saw Audie coming he led Kevin onto the bus and got them a seat. Audie had to follow and find them. When he had, he pulled Kevin out to the isle and sat down on the edge of the seat. Pulling his brother closer, he applied the comb. Kevin fussed at that, but lucked out. None of the other kids said anything to embarrass Kevin further. Not until Audie undid Kevin’s pants to tuck in his shirt a little neater than Kevin had done for himself. Even then, the snide remarks were kept to a minimum.\n\nThe bus ride was something new for Kevin and Audie, but neither boy thought much of it. It was noisy - they couldn’t even hear themselves talk- it smelled of diesel, and the seats were uncomfortable. Fortunately it didn’t take too long. Greg got them out at the correct stop and they walked the two blocks home. Audie was impressed at the size of the house (not an apartment), but said nothing. Kevin was being uncharacteristically quiet. Greg opened the front door and ushered his friends in. \"Mom! We’re home.\" he yelled.\n\n\"I’m in the kitchen,\" his mother responded. Greg led the way there. As soon as they entered, they were greeted by the most wonderful smell. Audie thought it smelled like chocolate and almost asked. Fortunately, Greg spoke up first.\n\n\"Mom,\" he said formally, \"this is my friend Audie.\" Audie looked up at the strange woman. \"Well, this is it,\" he said to himself, remembered to look her in the eye, stood up straight and held out his hand.\n\n\"Pleased to meet you, Ma’am,\" he said. He still didn’t know their last name. Greg’s mother gave her son’s new friend the once over. She saw a nice looking boy dressed neatly and with such good manners, she thought to herself. To Audie she returned the pleasantry. \"And I’m pleased to meet you,\" she replied shaking the hand gently.\n\n\"And this is his brother, Kevin,\" Greg continued.\n\n\"This is really it,\" Audie thought to himself and watched as his little brother took his turn. Kevin stepped forward and held out his hand.\n\n\"Pleased to meet you Ma’am,\" he said in a clear tone, mimicking his brother. Impressed, the woman shook Kevin’s hand.\n\n\"Pleased to meet you, too, Kevin,\" she said. \"How old are you?\" she then asked , impressed with the little boy’s manners.\n\n\"I’m six years old, Ma’am,\" Kevin replied, not at all ruffled at the question. Everybody asked him that. That was just the way it was.\n\n\"Well!\" said Greg’s mother with a pause. \"How would you three like some cookies?\"\n\n\"MMMMmmmmmmm!\" said all three at once.\n\n\"Yes, Ma’am,\" Audie remembered to say. Kevin, however, didn’t pick up on that and said nothing. Well, nobody’s perfect. Greg’s mother got started to get out some dishes.\n\n\"Greg, get your friends some milk,\" she said.\n\n\"Right!\" Greg replied and went to the fridge for it. The lady set out a plate for each boy and a glass. Going to the kitchen counter she grabbed from a stack of cookies laying out. Audie wondered at that. How come the cookies weren’t in a box or a jar or something? Why were they laying out in the open like that? She put three cookies on each plate.\n\n\"Fresh from the oven,\" she said, explaining why they were out on the counter. Cooling, thought Audie.\n\n\"You made these yourself?\" Kevin asked, amazed.\n\n\"Yes,\" she replied, amused at the boy’s reaction. \"Chocolate chip. I hope you like them.\"\n\n\"Mmmm. Thank you, Ma’am,\" Kevin responded, this time beating his brother to the punch.\n\n\"Yes,\" Audie was forced to say, \"thank you, Ma’am.\" Greg poured out the milk into the glasses and the three boys became quiet as they ate the cookies and drank the milk. Didn’t take long to polish off three cookies.\n\n\"More?\" Greg’s mother asked upon seeing the empty plates.\n\nShe got three \"yes, pleases\" and gave each boy two more. \"That’s all for now,\" she said, \"you have to save room for dinner!\"\n\n\"These are sure good, Ma’am,\" Kevin exclaimed and then gave his big brother a pointed stare. Audie made a mental note to ask for the recipe and instructions. Kevin was sure to pester him for these at home. He hoped they weren’t hard to make.\n\n\"I’m glad you like them,\" she replied as she watched the cookies being washed down with the milk.\n\nPlates and glasses empty, Greg stood up. \"Wanna see my room?\" he asked and headed for the door. Audie and Kevin, however, stood up and brought their dishes to the sink. This was so routine for them that they just didn’t think about it. Piling them neatly on the sink, both boys turned to their hostess.\n\n\"Thank you for the cookies, Ma’am,\" they both said. Only then did they turn to follow Greg out the door.\n\nThe woman looked after the departing boys. \"What nice young men,\" she thought to herself. \"So polite.\" She looked at the plate and glass her own son had left on the table. \"Their mother must be better than me!\" she thought.\n\nWhen Greg had both boys in his room he showed off his treasures, chief of which was an X-box game setup. \"Wanna play a game?\" he asked. Audie wanted to, but he knew Kevin couldn’t. He glanced at his brother, then at Greg.\n\n\"Yeah,\" he said softly, \"but do you have something for Kevin to do? I’m sorry to be a bother.\"\n\nKevin blinked his eyes at that. He was a bother. \"I’m OK,\" he said, trying not to put a quaver in his voice. \"I’ll just watch you.\"\n\nKevin may have tried not to, but Audie caught the quaver and realized why. \"Damn,\" he swore at himself. \"Why can’t I control my mouth?\" He went over to the bed where Kevin was sitting and sat down next to his brother. Putting his arm around the younger boy he gave him a hug. \"You don’t have to do that,\" he said softly. \"Greg do you have a story book Kevin could read?\"\n\nGreg gave it a thought. \"Yeah,\" he finally said, \"he can read my grandpa’s old Dr. Seuss books! Come on, they’re in the front room.\" The boys trooped out there and Greg pointed to a shelf of several thin children’s books. \"These were my grandpa’s books when he was a kid. When he died I got ’em. I liked them.\" he withdrew one and handed it to Kevin.\n\n\"Thank you,\" Kevin replied, took the book and went to sit in a chair next to a lamp. Greg went to turn on the lamp.\n\n\"You be careful with them now,\" Audie said, \"they’re really old. Turn the pages slowly, hear?\"\n\n\"Yesum\" Kevin said and opened his book to the first page. Audie and Greg went back to Greg’s room and fired up the X-box.\n\nA short time later, Greg’s mom finished up with the cookies, putting them in a jar. She made her way to the front room and caught sight of Kevin seated in the big chair with his feet sticking straight out as if it was a recliner instead of just too big for the little tyke to bend his knees. She didn’t spend too much time amused at that because she saw the look on intense concentration on the boy’s face. Kevin was moving his lips as he struggled to sound out the strange words on the page as his brother had taught him to do. After a few seconds he closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked at the page again and mouthed the words again, much faster this time, nodding his head rhythmically. Then he giggled. Turning the page very carefully like his brother told him, he repeated the process.\n\n\"How old did he say he was?\" the lady asked herself as she watched the little boy enjoying himself with a book. She went over to the chair and kneeled down, noticing that Kevin was reading _Bartholomew and the Ooblec_. She smiled. She remembered her father reading that to her when she was Kevin’s age. The very same book, but Kevin looked like he was reading it himself! \"Do you like that book?\" she asked.\n\nStartled, Kevin jerked his head up and squeaked. He had been so absorbed in the book that he hadn’t heard the lady approach.\n\nShe put out her hand and cupped the back of the little boy’s head with a mother’s instinct. \"Oh, I’m sorry,\" she apologized, \"I didn’t mean to scare you!\"\n\n\"It’s OK,\" Kevin replied. \"Yes, I like this book. It’s funny!\"\n\n\"You mean the pictures?\" she asked.\n\n\"No,\" Kevin replied turning up his nose. \"They’re dumb. But I like the words. They rhyme.\"\n\n\"What grade are you in,\" she asked on hearing that.\"\n\n\"Kinnygarden,\" Kevin replied, totally ignoring his brother’s weird way of saying the word.\n\n\"And you can read?\" she asked, amazed.\n\nMistaking the amazement in her tone for disapproval, Kevin started. \"It’s OK, isn’t it?\" he asked alarmed. \"Greg said I could.\"\n\n\"No, no, no, its perfectly all right,\" she reassured the boy. \"It’s just that most kindergartners...\" She pronounced it even weirder than his brother, Kevin noticed. \"...can’t read yet.\"\n\n\"They can’t?\" Kevin asked. He’d never given it a thought\n\n\"No, they can’t. Read me a page,\" she asked. To Kevin it sounded like a challenge. Not the dare-you kind, the or-else kind. Not wanting to flub it up and have the book taken away he turned the page back to one he had already sounded out. Remembering the words perfectly he read them out, managing to catch the rhythm and everything. Well, almost everything. Kevin pronounced Bart’s name as \"Bart-holo-mew\".\n\n\"Amazing,\" the woman said under her breath, not correcting the mispronouncement for fear she would discourage the boy with gratuitous admonition while at the same time noting that he was certainly reading it on his own. \"Very good,\" she said aloud and cupped his head again.\n\n\"Thank you Ma’am,\" Kevin replied, relieved at the approval.\n\n\"You go right on and read, Kevin,\" she replied. \"There are some more on the bookshelf if you finish that one.\"\n\n\"Yesum,\" Kevin said this time, now that it seemed he was going to be allowed to read and wanting to get on with it.\n\nSmiling to herself as she recognized the intent of the reply. She stood up and noticed the time. \"Drat,\" she said to herself. She went into Greg’s room.\n\n\"Greg,\" she said loudly over the two older boys’ loud entertainment.\n\n\"Just a minute, Mom,\" Greg replied. \"Let us get to a point where we can stop. His mother waited patiently for a couple of seconds until her son stopped the game and looked up at her.\n\n\"Greg,\" she repeated, \"It’s 4:30. Time to pick up your father from work. Do you think you will be all right home alone for a half hour. Kevin is so enjoying _Bartholomew and the Ooblec_ that I hate to disturb him.\"\n\n\"Sure, Mom, we’ll be OK,\" Greg immediately replied, more concerned that he could go on with the game than anything Kevin might be doing.\n\n\"OK, then,\" she said. \"I’ll be back in a half hour. Don’t leave the house.\"\n\nGreg waved his hand at the game screen. \"Like we would,\" he exclaimed and activated the game. Neither he nor Audie even heard he car start up.\n\nThe game finally ended, with Audie hopelessly behind. But, as Audie didn’t seem to mind, Greg allowed himself to feel good at winning by such a wide margin. That feeling lasted only until he glanced at the clock. \"Uh-oh,\" he said, alarmed. \"It’s ten after six. Mom’s late.\"\n\n\"You think something happened to her?\" Audie asked alarmed at just one more thing gone wrong.\n\n\"Nah,\" Greg replied, but his tone said otherwise. They wandered out into the front room. Kevin was still reading away, with two books piled on the table beside him. He was reading _Horton Hears a Who_. He looked up.\n\n\"I like these books, Greg,\" he said with a big grin. The grin disappeared. \"What?\"\n\n\"Mom and Dad aren’t back yet,\" Greg said, worry now apparent in his tone. Kevin remembered what he felt like when Audie was late. The feeling returned. He closed the book. Fortunately, the phone rang. Greg ran to answer it.\n\n\"Hello,\" he said into the mouthpiece. \"Oh, no. How long? Crap. Yah, yah, we’ll be alright. No we won’t leave. Get home as soon as you can. Love ya. Bye.\" Greg turned to Audie. \"That was my mom. The car broke down. She and Dad are taking it to a garage, but they’re all closed now. They don’t know when they’re going to be home. Ain’t that the pits?\"\n\n\"Stuff happens,\" Audie said philosophically.\n\n\"Don’t know what we’re going to do about supper,\" Greg moaned. \"I forgot to ask. We can’t leave to get anything. Mom said to stay put. Sounded like she meant it.\"\n\nAudie looked up, alert. \"What was your mother going to cook?\" he asked.\n\n\"Dunno,\" Greg replied, \"something good.\"\n\nUnaccustomed to being in another’s house, but fully familiar with domestic disasters, Audie took charge. \"Let’s see,\" he started out and led Greg into the kitchen. Kevin tagged along. On the counter were several suggestive items Greg’s mom had left there ready to use immediately upon returning from picking up her husband. Heedless of the impropriety of taking over somebody else’s house, and without so much as a by-your-leave, Audie opened the refrigerator and browsed around.\n\n\"Looks like she was planning a roast with baked potatoes and string beans and a salad. Nothing fancy. Easy. What say you? Let’s us cook it and surprise her when she gets home!\"\n\nGreg dropped his jaw. \"What?\" he gasped. \"Us cook dinner? I wouldn’t know where to start.\"\n\n\"Bah!\" Audie exclaimed. \"Piece of cake... uh, pardon the pun. I’ve cooked the same for Kevie and me lots of times. Not with a roast quite that big and fancy, I’ll admit, but that’s no biggie. Lets!\"\n\n\"I dunno, Audie. What if we get in trouble?\"\n\n\"For what?\" Kevin spoke up. \"Cooking dinner? Somebody’s got to do it. Audie’s a good cook... when he isn’t cooking peas.\"\n\n\"But I’m not allowed in the kitchen alone. Mom’s afraid I’ll blow up the place or something. I don’t know, Audie.\"\n\nAudie considered for a second. \"Look,\" he finally pointed out, \"this is an emergency. By the time your mom and dad get home it will be too late to cook anything and all this food may go to waste.\" That wasn’t likely, only delayed a day, but Audie couldn’t be sure he’d be allowed back the next day, once Greg’s folks learned he and Kevin were bastards. It was selfish of him, to be sure, but he’d seen the standing rib roast in the refrigerator and just couldn’t let Murphy snatch that away from him and his brother.\n\n\"Well, I dunno...\" Greg temporized again, full of trepidation.\n\n\"You said that already,\" Audie pouted. \"Twice. What’s the worst that can happen? We ruin dinner. That isn’t in the cards, Greg, I know what I’m doing, but if it does, so what. Uncooked, dinner is ruined anyway. Your mom won’t kill us for trying to help in an emergency. Cummon!\"\n\nGreg was none to sure about this, but gave in to his friend’s insistence. \"OK,\" he said without a trace of enthusiasm. \"What do we do?\"\n\nPermission granted, Audie took over. \"Get the roast out of the refrigerator and unwrap it. Kevin, you scrub the potatoes...\" Like a cordon bleu chef with his two assistants, Audie issued orders, found spices, made decisions and dinner was on the way.\n\n\"What if mom and dad don’t get home until really late?\" Greg had asked after Audie had set the oven for 2 hours.\n\n\"Then we eat while it’s hot and they have leftovers. Can’t be helped,\" Audie answered. It was the only logical response and Audie didn’t pause. \"Kevie, set the table. Greg, show him where the plates and stuff are.\"\n\nAn hour later and the house was filled with the mouth-watering smells of prime rib cooking. Greg stopped worrying. It smelled just like when his mom was doing it. Maybe it would be all right after all. Audie stabbed the potatoes with a knife and added them to the oven, then started frying bacon and onions to add to the string beans. He figured if it worked for peas it should work for string beans, too, although he never bothered at home because Kevin liked beans and didn’t need then disguised, but Audie felt like showing off. Greg was full of questions as they went along and Audie played teacher. The table was set. Audie knew there were rules about which side of the plate the spoon was supposed to be on, but couldn’t remember. If Kevin had done it wrong, it would just have to be taken as it came.\n\nFifteen minutes before the roast was supposed to be done, there was a rattle at the front door and Greg’s parents all but stumbled in.\n\n\"Great timing!\" Audie exclaimed.\n\n\"Mom! Dad!\" Greg rushed to them, relieved that they were finally home.\n\n\"Gad what a day!\" his mother said, throwing her purse on the couch. She caught a whiff from the kitchen. Fear broke out on her face. \"What’s that smell?\" she asked, fully alarmed.\n\n\"We’re cooking dinner,\" Greg answered, his enthusiasm evaporating upon seeing his mother’s worried face.\n\n\"You?\" she asked.\n\n\"Me and Audie,\" Greg replied. His teacher would have downgraded him twice for that answer; once for the bad English and another for not giving Audie star billing. His mom rushed into the kitchen to find Audie slicing tomatoes for the salad.\n\n\"Hi, Ma’am,\" Audie greeted her.\n\n\"What are you cooking?\" she asked without returning the greeting.\n\n\"The stuff you had planned for dinner, I hope,\" Audie replied. \"Roast, potatoes, string beans, salad...\"\n\n\"Roast!?\" she shot back. \"What roast?\"\n\nUh-oh, Audie thought to himself. It never occurred to him until just then: What if the expensive roast was not meant for him and his brother? What if she planned meatloaf or something? Oh, well, too late now. \"The roast you had in the refrigerator,\" he explained.\n\nShe rushed to the oven and opened it, hitting the light as she did. The roast was, indeed, planned for tonight, but a kid cooking it? On his own? Without instructions? Was it ruined? \"What have you done?\" she asked breathlessly.\n\nAudie hoped she didn’t mean that like it sounded. Fearing the worst he just explained exactly what he had done. \"I dusted it with seasoned salt, garlic powder and a dash of savory from your spice rack and put it in at 350 for two hours. Is that OK?\"\n\nWell, it was a bit hotter than she would have done, and she didn’t know about the spices, but it didn’t *sound* like disaster. It looked just fine and smelled divine. She allowed the mother in her to take over. \"Yes,\" she said and smiled, \"that’s just fine. What a surprise!\" That was an understatement!\n\n\"What’s all this?\" a new voice asked.\n\n\"We’re cooking dinner, Dad,\" exclaimed Greg, having picked up on his mom’s \"just fine\" pronouncement and deciding that they weren’t going to get in trouble over this. At least not bad trouble. \"Dad, I want you to meet my friend, Audie and his brother, Kevin!\"\n\n\"Uh-oh,\" whispered Audie to himself. Of all the contingencies he and Kevin had rehearsed, this one wasn’t among them; being introduced both at once and with Audie’s hands full of tomato guts. Sure enough, Kevin made his move first. He stepped up to the man and extended his hand.\n\n\"Pleased to meet you, Sir,\" he said clearly and with meaning. \"I’m Kevin.\"\n\n\"Whew!\" Audie thought to himself. Perfect. Unrehearsed, but perfect.\n\n\"Well!\" the man said before taking the little hand thrust his way. \"I’m pleased to meet you, too, Kevin.\" He turned to Audie.\n\n\"Oh, jeeze,\" Audie thought to himself, \"what’s the protocol for this one?\" He tore a paper towel off the roll and wiped his hands. Whatever was called for, he was sure it was not to shake hands when one set was smeared with goop. Having cleaned them somewhat (it would have been better to have washed them, but that would have taken forever) he extended his right. \"Pleased to meet you, Sir,\" he said as clearly as Kevin and taking a cue from his little brother for a change, added, \"I’m Audie.\"\n\n\"Pleased to meet you, Audie,\" the man answered and shook firmly, taking no notice of any wetness or anything else. He shot a questioning glance to his wife.\n\n\"They have cooked dinner,\" she explained, waving her hands around the kitchen. The two of them took in the table in the dining room all set and ready. The man smiled at his son, a look that said everything was OK. Greg was happy he had let his friend talk him into this. Despite his initial fears, it had come out alright. What a relief.\n\n\"Let’s us clean up, then,\" he said to his wife, then, turning to Audie, \"How much time do we have before dinner’s ready?\"\n\nAudie looked at the timer on the oven. It said ten minutes, but there was still more to do. \"Fifteen, twenty minutes,\" he answered.\n\n\"Plenty of time,\" the man said. \"Come, Honey.\" The two of them headed to the bathroom. Audie could hear them talking all the way.\n\nGreg’s mom returned to the kitchen after a few minutes. She had \"powdered her nose\", although Audie would never have thought of calling it that, and put on a new dress. She breezed into the kitchen and committed a bald faced faux pas. It was just fortunate that Audie wasn’t as territorial as most chefs are. \"Let me help,\" she offered, but asked with a tone that made it a command rather than an offer. It was her kitchen, after all, and it was supposed to be her meal. Audie, however, was... well, he didn’t care.\n\n\"Sure,\" he said. \"Check the meat. See if it’s done.\" She opened the oven and peeked in. The potatoes caught her eye first off.\n\n\"Oh, my God,\" she exclaimed. \"Audie, did you pierce the skins before you put the potatoes in here?\"\n\n\"Yes, Ma’am,\" Audie answered. \"I know how to bake potatoes,\" he added. As soon as he said it he realized that that had sounded sassy. To recover he tried a diversion. He wanted to know the answer, anyway. \"Why do you have to stab potatoes before you bake them?\" he asked as seriously as he could.\n\nThe diversion worked. Greg’s mom closed the oven door and answered the boy’s question. \"Because potato skins seal the inside of the potato and there’s water inside. When you bake them the water boils. If you don’t pierce the skin and provide an outlet for the steam, it builds up pressure until the skin rips and the spud explodes.\"\n\n\"Ah,\" Audie replied with a smile, \"I get it. Thanks.\" He would have to explain that to Kevin the next time the potato murder mystery theatre dialogue came up. That would put an end to that little tradition. Audie hoped Kevin wouldn’t be too disappointed at that.\n\nGreg’s mom opened the oven again and slid out the rack to check on the meat like she was asked to, but Audie had not inserted the thermometer in the roast, mainly because he didn’t know such things existed. He just went by Ms. Pace’s catch-all rule of a half hour per pound @ 350. Greg’s mom clicked her tongue at that. She couldn’t tell diddly by looking at the roast and didn’t want to stick a knife in, so she just gave up and slid the rack back in and closed the door.\n\n\"Looks OK to me,\" she said, not having a clue what else to say. Audie put her to work getting out the salad dressing and she took that opportunity to get out some carrots and radishes and cut them up to put in the salad, to Audie’s shocked horror. Kevin would never go for that - either one - in a salad and Audie had forgotten to tell Kevin to eat what he was offered and not make a stink because that was just what you did when you were invited to eat at somebody else’s house. Audie couldn’t chance a scene.\n\n\"I’ll be right back,\" he said and went looking for Kevin to pass the word. Audie considered a compromise would do - push the radishes to one side but eat the carrots. He cornered his little brother and laid down the law. Kevin wrinkled his nose, but agreed. When Audie got back to the kitchen, Greg’s mother was getting out the equipment to make au jus (as she called it, although she clearly intended to enhance the natural juices quite a bit). Audie decided to let her gradually take over. Discretion, you know.\n\nGreg’s father made it back a bit later. He had had a shower to get off the grease and gunk he had acquired trying to fix the car before he decided it needed professional help. By then his wife had taken over completely with the meat. She had removed it from the oven when the timer dinged and shut down the burner. A stab at a potato seemed to indicate it was done. The meat, well it would remain to be seen. She slipped the meat onto a serving platter and used the pan drippings to make the gravy, as Audie called it. Audie was glad she had made it back in time to do this. Audie didn’t know how to make gravy. He hoped Kevin wouldn’t pick up on it and start demanding it every time they had a roast at home. It looked hard. That and she added what looked like booze (it was sherry) and Audie knew he would never be able to buy that, so gravy looked to be out of the question.\n\nThe zero hour finally arrived. The boys were called to the table, reminded to wash their hands (they had to retreat to the bathroom, having neglected that chore) and they sat down. Greg’s father picked up the carving knife and made to do the honors with the roast. Audie was glad of that, too. Big knives scared him. He and Kevin just attacked a roast piecemeal at home. Audie was not the least bit concerned about anything. He trusted Ms. Pace. Not so Greg’s parents, who had never heard of that venerable lady and were most concerned that a kid might have ruined it.\n\nNot to worry. Ms. Pace won the day. The roast was pronounced perfect, the seasoning was complemented. The beans went over big, too. Audie didn’t care about the food quality, however, it being more important to him that he and his brother made a good impression before their pedigree was discovered, so he almost ignored the food and kept an eye on Kevin.\n\nKevin didn’t fail to notice the scrutiny and, wanting so much to please his brother, did his best to remember everything, asking to \"Please pass the salt,\" and chewing with his mouth closed and keeping his elbows off the table and eating the hated carrots. Both he and Audie pushed the radishes to one side, though, the only slight flaw in an otherwise perfect performance. The meal could only be counted as an unqualified success. Until Audie leaned over to pass the beans and put some weight on his left buttock. It was still sore. He winced and almost dropped the bowl. Kevin saw that, realized that for what it was and let out a giggle.\n\n\"You OK?\" Greg’s mother asked.\n\n\"Yeah, I’m OK,\" Audie replied and allowed a trace of disgust to creep into the answer.\n\nKevin just couldn’t keep it to himself. \"Audie got a spankin’ last night,\" be blurted out. \"Must still be sore!\"\n\n\"Kevin!\" Audie snapped. Greg’s parents just smiled.\n\n\"What’d you do?\" Greg asked at once.\n\n\"Nothin’\" Audie returned with some heat, then explained the sorry episode.\n\n\"Yeah,\" Greg commented after Audie was through. \"I once got it for something I didn’t do, too.\"\n\n\"Greg,\" his father warned him off the subject by stretching out the name.\n\nUndaunted, Greg changed the subject. \"What’d you get it with? I get it with a big ol’ strap.\"\n\nAudie hung his head. \"I got it with a belt. Hard.\"\n\n\"And with his pants pulled down, too,\" Kevin made sure nothing was left out.\n\nThat earned him another \"Kevin!\" from his brother - two non-Kevie’s in a row. Kevin decided that was enough and left off.\n\nAudie looked up at Greg, clearly embarrassed. Greg’s face turned red, too. \"Yeah, I get it bare, too. Hurts, doesn’t it?\"\n\n\"Heck yes!\" Audie replied, then got back at his bratty brother. \"Doesn’t it, Kevie?\"\n\nNow it was Kevin’s turn to blush. \"Yeah,\" he whispered and that ended that topic of conversation.\n\nWhen they were all done both Greg’s parents thanked Audie and the other two boys for a job well done. Audie remembered to return the thanks for the food and Kevin took that as a cue to do the same. Taking that as a signal, both Audie and Kevin got up with their plates in hand and carried them to the sink and then returned to bus the table. Actually, this was not a carefully thought out plan in any way. It was just habit. They had to clean up after themselves after dinner at home lest an Uncle Jack be turned off by seeing a sink full of dirty dishes, so they didn’t give it a second thought here.\n\n\"Here, here,\" Greg’s mother scolded them when she realized that her two young guests were cleaning up like that. Audie had a moment’s panic that they had something wrong until she continued. \"Let me do the washing up, after all, you cooked!\"\n\nKevin wondered at that. A mother actually washing his dinner dishes for him. What luxury! Thanking her profusely, he boys retreated. Audie and Kevin returned to the video game and Kevin to his Dr. Seuss. Greg’s dad sat down across from Kevin and started to read the paper. After a second or two, however, he put the paper down and marveled at a 6-year old being so quiet. He wished his son would learn something.\n\nA half-hour later Audie came out of the bedroom and announced that it was time for him and his brother to be getting home and could they be driven, or was there no car and they would have to walk.\n\n\"Oh, good heavens, no\" Greg’s dad exclaimed. \"We rented a car from the garage. Come, let’s go.\" He and the boys piled into the car and Audie gave directions. Sort of. Audie didn’t have much experience at navigating (actually none at all) but he knew the name of his street and that was enough.\n\nThey pulled up in front of Audie’s apartment house and Kevin and Audie thanked the other two for the dinner again and said good by. After seeing the boys safely inside their apartment, Greg’s father started up the car. \"Not a very impressive place, is it?\" he asked his son.\n\n\"Who cares?\" Greg answered. Who, indeed?\n\nAudie and Kevin locked the door carefully behind them. Audie noticed that the note was still on the table where Kevin had left it, so their mother hadn’t been home to see it. Good - no explanations would be necessary. Audie tore up the note and threw it in the trash. A glance at the clock told him that it was quite a bit past bedtime, and he weighted the choice of delaying sack time even farther or skipping that night’s bath. His adrenalin had started to decline now that the ordeal was over and that made him tired enough that the bath was given up. He took his brother into the bedroom and they stripped and climbed in under the covers.\n\n\"Audie,\" Kevin asked when the light was turned off, \"that was sure a nice visit. I wish we had a mom and dad.\"\n\nAudie caught his breath at that statement. \"Just be glad for what you got, Kevin,\" he replied.\n\n\"I am, Audie,\" Kevin replied. \"I got you.\" He snuggled under Audie’s chin and they fell asleep.", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Class let out at the usual time, 3:15. Audie congratulated himself at telling Kevin to be there at 3:00, just in case Kevin thought that that was the time he was supposed to leave the house. Now that would be a cushion in case Kevin couldn’t find the bus.

Almost sick with apprehension, Audie made his way to the bus stop. Miracle of miracles, Kevin was there talking with Greg, and he was dressed in his good clothes. All was well! Audie’s heart slowed down. Well, all was almost well. Kevin’s hair was a mess. The boy had put on a clean T-shirt after taking off the old one and hadn’t looked in the mirror at the result. Audie was so glad that that was all that was wrong, he pulled out his own comb, intending to fix the problem at once. However, as soon as Greg saw Audie coming he led Kevin onto the bus and got them a seat. Audie had to follow and find them. When he had, he pulled Kevin out to the isle and sat down on the edge of the seat. Pulling his brother closer, he applied the comb. Kevin fussed at that, but lucked out. None of the other kids said anything to embarrass Kevin further. Not until Audie undid Kevin’s pants to tuck in his shirt a little neater than Kevin had done for himself. Even then, the snide remarks were kept to a minimum.

The bus ride was something new for Kevin and Audie, but neither boy thought much of it. It was noisy - they couldn’t even hear themselves talk- it smelled of diesel, and the seats were uncomfortable. Fortunately it didn’t take too long. Greg got them out at the correct stop and they walked the two blocks home. Audie was impressed at the size of the house (not an apartment), but said nothing. Kevin was being uncharacteristically quiet. Greg opened the front door and ushered his friends in. "Mom! We’re home." he yelled.

"I’m in the kitchen," his mother responded. Greg led the way there. As soon as they entered, they were greeted by the most wonderful smell. Audie thought it smelled like chocolate and almost asked. Fortunately, Greg spoke up first.

"Mom," he said formally, "this is my friend Audie." Audie looked up at the strange woman. "Well, this is it," he said to himself, remembered to look her in the eye, stood up straight and held out his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, Ma’am," he said. He still didn’t know their last name. Greg’s mother gave her son’s new friend the once over. She saw a nice looking boy dressed neatly and with such good manners, she thought to herself. To Audie she returned the pleasantry. "And I’m pleased to meet you," she replied shaking the hand gently.

"And this is his brother, Kevin," Greg continued.

"This is really it," Audie thought to himself and watched as his little brother took his turn. Kevin stepped forward and held out his hand.

"Pleased to meet you Ma’am," he said in a clear tone, mimicking his brother. Impressed, the woman shook Kevin’s hand.

"Pleased to meet you, too, Kevin," she said. "How old are you?" she then asked , impressed with the little boy’s manners.

"I’m six years old, Ma’am," Kevin replied, not at all ruffled at the question. Everybody asked him that. That was just the way it was.

"Well!" said Greg’s mother with a pause. "How would you three like some cookies?"

"MMMMmmmmmmm!" said all three at once.

"Yes, Ma’am," Audie remembered to say. Kevin, however, didn’t pick up on that and said nothing. Well, nobody’s perfect. Greg’s mother got started to get out some dishes.

"Greg, get your friends some milk," she said.

"Right!" Greg replied and went to the fridge for it. The lady set out a plate for each boy and a glass. Going to the kitchen counter she grabbed from a stack of cookies laying out. Audie wondered at that. How come the cookies weren’t in a box or a jar or something? Why were they laying out in the open like that? She put three cookies on each plate.

"Fresh from the oven," she said, explaining why they were out on the counter. Cooling, thought Audie.

"You made these yourself?" Kevin asked, amazed.

"Yes," she replied, amused at the boy’s reaction. "Chocolate chip. I hope you like them."

"Mmmm. Thank you, Ma’am," Kevin responded, this time beating his brother to the punch.

"Yes," Audie was forced to say, "thank you, Ma’am." Greg poured out the milk into the glasses and the three boys became quiet as they ate the cookies and drank the milk. Didn’t take long to polish off three cookies.

"More?" Greg’s mother asked upon seeing the empty plates.

She got three "yes, pleases" and gave each boy two more. "That’s all for now," she said, "you have to save room for dinner!"

"These are sure good, Ma’am," Kevin exclaimed and then gave his big brother a pointed stare. Audie made a mental note to ask for the recipe and instructions. Kevin was sure to pester him for these at home. He hoped they weren’t hard to make.

"I’m glad you like them," she replied as she watched the cookies being washed down with the milk.

Plates and glasses empty, Greg stood up. "Wanna see my room?" he asked and headed for the door. Audie and Kevin, however, stood up and brought their dishes to the sink. This was so routine for them that they just didn’t think about it. Piling them neatly on the sink, both boys turned to their hostess.

"Thank you for the cookies, Ma’am," they both said. Only then did they turn to follow Greg out the door.

The woman looked after the departing boys. "What nice young men," she thought to herself. "So polite." She looked at the plate and glass her own son had left on the table. "Their mother must be better than me!" she thought.

When Greg had both boys in his room he showed off his treasures, chief of which was an X-box game setup. "Wanna play a game?" he asked. Audie wanted to, but he knew Kevin couldn’t. He glanced at his brother, then at Greg.

"Yeah," he said softly, "but do you have something for Kevin to do? I’m sorry to be a bother."

Kevin blinked his eyes at that. He was a bother. "I’m OK," he said, trying not to put a quaver in his voice. "I’ll just watch you."

Kevin may have tried not to, but Audie caught the quaver and realized why. "Damn," he swore at himself. "Why can’t I control my mouth?" He went over to the bed where Kevin was sitting and sat down next to his brother. Putting his arm around the younger boy he gave him a hug. "You don’t have to do that," he said softly. "Greg do you have a story book Kevin could read?"

Greg gave it a thought. "Yeah," he finally said, "he can read my grandpa’s old Dr. Seuss books! Come on, they’re in the front room." The boys trooped out there and Greg pointed to a shelf of several thin children’s books. "These were my grandpa’s books when he was a kid. When he died I got ’em. I liked them." he withdrew one and handed it to Kevin.

"Thank you," Kevin replied, took the book and went to sit in a chair next to a lamp. Greg went to turn on the lamp.

"You be careful with them now," Audie said, "they’re really old. Turn the pages slowly, hear?"

"Yesum" Kevin said and opened his book to the first page. Audie and Greg went back to Greg’s room and fired up the X-box.

A short time later, Greg’s mom finished up with the cookies, putting them in a jar. She made her way to the front room and caught sight of Kevin seated in the big chair with his feet sticking straight out as if it was a recliner instead of just too big for the little tyke to bend his knees. She didn’t spend too much time amused at that because she saw the look on intense concentration on the boy’s face. Kevin was moving his lips as he struggled to sound out the strange words on the page as his brother had taught him to do. After a few seconds he closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked at the page again and mouthed the words again, much faster this time, nodding his head rhythmically. Then he giggled. Turning the page very carefully like his brother told him, he repeated the process.

"How old did he say he was?" the lady asked herself as she watched the little boy enjoying himself with a book. She went over to the chair and kneeled down, noticing that Kevin was reading _Bartholomew and the Ooblec_. She smiled. She remembered her father reading that to her when she was Kevin’s age. The very same book, but Kevin looked like he was reading it himself! "Do you like that book?" she asked.

Startled, Kevin jerked his head up and squeaked. He had been so absorbed in the book that he hadn’t heard the lady approach.

She put out her hand and cupped the back of the little boy’s head with a mother’s instinct. "Oh, I’m sorry," she apologized, "I didn’t mean to scare you!"

"It’s OK," Kevin replied. "Yes, I like this book. It’s funny!"

"You mean the pictures?" she asked.

"No," Kevin replied turning up his nose. "They’re dumb. But I like the words. They rhyme."

"What grade are you in," she asked on hearing that."

"Kinnygarden," Kevin replied, totally ignoring his brother’s weird way of saying the word.

"And you can read?" she asked, amazed.

Mistaking the amazement in her tone for disapproval, Kevin started. "It’s OK, isn’t it?" he asked alarmed. "Greg said I could."

"No, no, no, its perfectly all right," she reassured the boy. "It’s just that most kindergartners..." She pronounced it even weirder than his brother, Kevin noticed. "...can’t read yet."

"They can’t?" Kevin asked. He’d never given it a thought

"No, they can’t. Read me a page," she asked. To Kevin it sounded like a challenge. Not the dare-you kind, the or-else kind. Not wanting to flub it up and have the book taken away he turned the page back to one he had already sounded out. Remembering the words perfectly he read them out, managing to catch the rhythm and everything. Well, almost everything. Kevin pronounced Bart’s name as "Bart-holo-mew".

"Amazing," the woman said under her breath, not correcting the mispronouncement for fear she would discourage the boy with gratuitous admonition while at the same time noting that he was certainly reading it on his own. "Very good," she said aloud and cupped his head again.

"Thank you Ma’am," Kevin replied, relieved at the approval.

"You go right on and read, Kevin," she replied. "There are some more on the bookshelf if you finish that one."

"Yesum," Kevin said this time, now that it seemed he was going to be allowed to read and wanting to get on with it.

Smiling to herself as she recognized the intent of the reply. She stood up and noticed the time. "Drat," she said to herself. She went into Greg’s room.

"Greg," she said loudly over the two older boys’ loud entertainment.

"Just a minute, Mom," Greg replied. "Let us get to a point where we can stop. His mother waited patiently for a couple of seconds until her son stopped the game and looked up at her.

"Greg," she repeated, "It’s 4:30. Time to pick up your father from work. Do you think you will be all right home alone for a half hour. Kevin is so enjoying _Bartholomew and the Ooblec_ that I hate to disturb him."

"Sure, Mom, we’ll be OK," Greg immediately replied, more concerned that he could go on with the game than anything Kevin might be doing.

"OK, then," she said. "I’ll be back in a half hour. Don’t leave the house."

Greg waved his hand at the game screen. "Like we would," he exclaimed and activated the game. Neither he nor Audie even heard he car start up.

The game finally ended, with Audie hopelessly behind. But, as Audie didn’t seem to mind, Greg allowed himself to feel good at winning by such a wide margin. That feeling lasted only until he glanced at the clock. "Uh-oh," he said, alarmed. "It’s ten after six. Mom’s late."

"You think something happened to her?" Audie asked alarmed at just one more thing gone wrong.

"Nah," Greg replied, but his tone said otherwise. They wandered out into the front room. Kevin was still reading away, with two books piled on the table beside him. He was reading _Horton Hears a Who_. He looked up.

"I like these books, Greg," he said with a big grin. The grin disappeared. "What?"

"Mom and Dad aren’t back yet," Greg said, worry now apparent in his tone. Kevin remembered what he felt like when Audie was late. The feeling returned. He closed the book. Fortunately, the phone rang. Greg ran to answer it.

"Hello," he said into the mouthpiece. "Oh, no. How long? Crap. Yah, yah, we’ll be alright. No we won’t leave. Get home as soon as you can. Love ya. Bye." Greg turned to Audie. "That was my mom. The car broke down. She and Dad are taking it to a garage, but they’re all closed now. They don’t know when they’re going to be home. Ain’t that the pits?"

"Stuff happens," Audie said philosophically.

"Don’t know what we’re going to do about supper," Greg moaned. "I forgot to ask. We can’t leave to get anything. Mom said to stay put. Sounded like she meant it."

Audie looked up, alert. "What was your mother going to cook?" he asked.

"Dunno," Greg replied, "something good."

Unaccustomed to being in another’s house, but fully familiar with domestic disasters, Audie took charge. "Let’s see," he started out and led Greg into the kitchen. Kevin tagged along. On the counter were several suggestive items Greg’s mom had left there ready to use immediately upon returning from picking up her husband. Heedless of the impropriety of taking over somebody else’s house, and without so much as a by-your-leave, Audie opened the refrigerator and browsed around.

"Looks like she was planning a roast with baked potatoes and string beans and a salad. Nothing fancy. Easy. What say you? Let’s us cook it and surprise her when she gets home!"

Greg dropped his jaw. "What?" he gasped. "Us cook dinner? I wouldn’t know where to start."

"Bah!" Audie exclaimed. "Piece of cake... uh, pardon the pun. I’ve cooked the same for Kevie and me lots of times. Not with a roast quite that big and fancy, I’ll admit, but that’s no biggie. Lets!"

"I dunno, Audie. What if we get in trouble?"

"For what?" Kevin spoke up. "Cooking dinner? Somebody’s got to do it. Audie’s a good cook... when he isn’t cooking peas."

"But I’m not allowed in the kitchen alone. Mom’s afraid I’ll blow up the place or something. I don’t know, Audie."

Audie considered for a second. "Look," he finally pointed out, "this is an emergency. By the time your mom and dad get home it will be too late to cook anything and all this food may go to waste." That wasn’t likely, only delayed a day, but Audie couldn’t be sure he’d be allowed back the next day, once Greg’s folks learned he and Kevin were bastards. It was selfish of him, to be sure, but he’d seen the standing rib roast in the refrigerator and just couldn’t let Murphy snatch that away from him and his brother.

"Well, I dunno..." Greg temporized again, full of trepidation.

"You said that already," Audie pouted. "Twice. What’s the worst that can happen? We ruin dinner. That isn’t in the cards, Greg, I know what I’m doing, but if it does, so what. Uncooked, dinner is ruined anyway. Your mom won’t kill us for trying to help in an emergency. Cummon!"

Greg was none to sure about this, but gave in to his friend’s insistence. "OK," he said without a trace of enthusiasm. "What do we do?"

Permission granted, Audie took over. "Get the roast out of the refrigerator and unwrap it. Kevin, you scrub the potatoes..." Like a cordon bleu chef with his two assistants, Audie issued orders, found spices, made decisions and dinner was on the way.

"What if mom and dad don’t get home until really late?" Greg had asked after Audie had set the oven for 2 hours.

"Then we eat while it’s hot and they have leftovers. Can’t be helped," Audie answered. It was the only logical response and Audie didn’t pause. "Kevie, set the table. Greg, show him where the plates and stuff are."

An hour later and the house was filled with the mouth-watering smells of prime rib cooking. Greg stopped worrying. It smelled just like when his mom was doing it. Maybe it would be all right after all. Audie stabbed the potatoes with a knife and added them to the oven, then started frying bacon and onions to add to the string beans. He figured if it worked for peas it should work for string beans, too, although he never bothered at home because Kevin liked beans and didn’t need then disguised, but Audie felt like showing off. Greg was full of questions as they went along and Audie played teacher. The table was set. Audie knew there were rules about which side of the plate the spoon was supposed to be on, but couldn’t remember. If Kevin had done it wrong, it would just have to be taken as it came.

Fifteen minutes before the roast was supposed to be done, there was a rattle at the front door and Greg’s parents all but stumbled in.

"Great timing!" Audie exclaimed.

"Mom! Dad!" Greg rushed to them, relieved that they were finally home.

"Gad what a day!" his mother said, throwing her purse on the couch. She caught a whiff from the kitchen. Fear broke out on her face. "What’s that smell?" she asked, fully alarmed.

"We’re cooking dinner," Greg answered, his enthusiasm evaporating upon seeing his mother’s worried face.

"You?" she asked.

"Me and Audie," Greg replied. His teacher would have downgraded him twice for that answer; once for the bad English and another for not giving Audie star billing. His mom rushed into the kitchen to find Audie slicing tomatoes for the salad.

"Hi, Ma’am," Audie greeted her.

"What are you cooking?" she asked without returning the greeting.

"The stuff you had planned for dinner, I hope," Audie replied. "Roast, potatoes, string beans, salad..."

"Roast!?" she shot back. "What roast?"

Uh-oh, Audie thought to himself. It never occurred to him until just then: What if the expensive roast was not meant for him and his brother? What if she planned meatloaf or something? Oh, well, too late now. "The roast you had in the refrigerator," he explained.

She rushed to the oven and opened it, hitting the light as she did. The roast was, indeed, planned for tonight, but a kid cooking it? On his own? Without instructions? Was it ruined? "What have you done?" she asked breathlessly.

Audie hoped she didn’t mean that like it sounded. Fearing the worst he just explained exactly what he had done. "I dusted it with seasoned salt, garlic powder and a dash of savory from your spice rack and put it in at 350 for two hours. Is that OK?"

Well, it was a bit hotter than she would have done, and she didn’t know about the spices, but it didn’t *sound* like disaster. It looked just fine and smelled divine. She allowed the mother in her to take over. "Yes," she said and smiled, "that’s just fine. What a surprise!" That was an understatement!

"What’s all this?" a new voice asked.

"We’re cooking dinner, Dad," exclaimed Greg, having picked up on his mom’s "just fine" pronouncement and deciding that they weren’t going to get in trouble over this. At least not bad trouble. "Dad, I want you to meet my friend, Audie and his brother, Kevin!"

"Uh-oh," whispered Audie to himself. Of all the contingencies he and Kevin had rehearsed, this one wasn’t among them; being introduced both at once and with Audie’s hands full of tomato guts. Sure enough, Kevin made his move first. He stepped up to the man and extended his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, Sir," he said clearly and with meaning. "I’m Kevin."

"Whew!" Audie thought to himself. Perfect. Unrehearsed, but perfect.

"Well!" the man said before taking the little hand thrust his way. "I’m pleased to meet you, too, Kevin." He turned to Audie.

"Oh, jeeze," Audie thought to himself, "what’s the protocol for this one?" He tore a paper towel off the roll and wiped his hands. Whatever was called for, he was sure it was not to shake hands when one set was smeared with goop. Having cleaned them somewhat (it would have been better to have washed them, but that would have taken forever) he extended his right. "Pleased to meet you, Sir," he said as clearly as Kevin and taking a cue from his little brother for a change, added, "I’m Audie."

"Pleased to meet you, Audie," the man answered and shook firmly, taking no notice of any wetness or anything else. He shot a questioning glance to his wife.

"They have cooked dinner," she explained, waving her hands around the kitchen. The two of them took in the table in the dining room all set and ready. The man smiled at his son, a look that said everything was OK. Greg was happy he had let his friend talk him into this. Despite his initial fears, it had come out alright. What a relief.

"Let’s us clean up, then," he said to his wife, then, turning to Audie, "How much time do we have before dinner’s ready?"

Audie looked at the timer on the oven. It said ten minutes, but there was still more to do. "Fifteen, twenty minutes," he answered.

"Plenty of time," the man said. "Come, Honey." The two of them headed to the bathroom. Audie could hear them talking all the way.

Greg’s mom returned to the kitchen after a few minutes. She had "powdered her nose", although Audie would never have thought of calling it that, and put on a new dress. She breezed into the kitchen and committed a bald faced faux pas. It was just fortunate that Audie wasn’t as territorial as most chefs are. "Let me help," she offered, but asked with a tone that made it a command rather than an offer. It was her kitchen, after all, and it was supposed to be her meal. Audie, however, was... well, he didn’t care.

"Sure," he said. "Check the meat. See if it’s done." She opened the oven and peeked in. The potatoes caught her eye first off.

"Oh, my God," she exclaimed. "Audie, did you pierce the skins before you put the potatoes in here?"

"Yes, Ma’am," Audie answered. "I know how to bake potatoes," he added. As soon as he said it he realized that that had sounded sassy. To recover he tried a diversion. He wanted to know the answer, anyway. "Why do you have to stab potatoes before you bake them?" he asked as seriously as he could.

The diversion worked. Greg’s mom closed the oven door and answered the boy’s question. "Because potato skins seal the inside of the potato and there’s water inside. When you bake them the water boils. If you don’t pierce the skin and provide an outlet for the steam, it builds up pressure until the skin rips and the spud explodes."

"Ah," Audie replied with a smile, "I get it. Thanks." He would have to explain that to Kevin the next time the potato murder mystery theatre dialogue came up. That would put an end to that little tradition. Audie hoped Kevin wouldn’t be too disappointed at that.

Greg’s mom opened the oven again and slid out the rack to check on the meat like she was asked to, but Audie had not inserted the thermometer in the roast, mainly because he didn’t know such things existed. He just went by Ms. Pace’s catch-all rule of a half hour per pound @ 350. Greg’s mom clicked her tongue at that. She couldn’t tell diddly by looking at the roast and didn’t want to stick a knife in, so she just gave up and slid the rack back in and closed the door.

"Looks OK to me," she said, not having a clue what else to say. Audie put her to work getting out the salad dressing and she took that opportunity to get out some carrots and radishes and cut them up to put in the salad, to Audie’s shocked horror. Kevin would never go for that - either one - in a salad and Audie had forgotten to tell Kevin to eat what he was offered and not make a stink because that was just what you did when you were invited to eat at somebody else’s house. Audie couldn’t chance a scene.

"I’ll be right back," he said and went looking for Kevin to pass the word. Audie considered a compromise would do - push the radishes to one side but eat the carrots. He cornered his little brother and laid down the law. Kevin wrinkled his nose, but agreed. When Audie got back to the kitchen, Greg’s mother was getting out the equipment to make au jus (as she called it, although she clearly intended to enhance the natural juices quite a bit). Audie decided to let her gradually take over. Discretion, you know.

Greg’s father made it back a bit later. He had had a shower to get off the grease and gunk he had acquired trying to fix the car before he decided it needed professional help. By then his wife had taken over completely with the meat. She had removed it from the oven when the timer dinged and shut down the burner. A stab at a potato seemed to indicate it was done. The meat, well it would remain to be seen. She slipped the meat onto a serving platter and used the pan drippings to make the gravy, as Audie called it. Audie was glad she had made it back in time to do this. Audie didn’t know how to make gravy. He hoped Kevin wouldn’t pick up on it and start demanding it every time they had a roast at home. It looked hard. That and she added what looked like booze (it was sherry) and Audie knew he would never be able to buy that, so gravy looked to be out of the question.

The zero hour finally arrived. The boys were called to the table, reminded to wash their hands (they had to retreat to the bathroom, having neglected that chore) and they sat down. Greg’s father picked up the carving knife and made to do the honors with the roast. Audie was glad of that, too. Big knives scared him. He and Kevin just attacked a roast piecemeal at home. Audie was not the least bit concerned about anything. He trusted Ms. Pace. Not so Greg’s parents, who had never heard of that venerable lady and were most concerned that a kid might have ruined it.

Not to worry. Ms. Pace won the day. The roast was pronounced perfect, the seasoning was complemented. The beans went over big, too. Audie didn’t care about the food quality, however, it being more important to him that he and his brother made a good impression before their pedigree was discovered, so he almost ignored the food and kept an eye on Kevin.

Kevin didn’t fail to notice the scrutiny and, wanting so much to please his brother, did his best to remember everything, asking to "Please pass the salt," and chewing with his mouth closed and keeping his elbows off the table and eating the hated carrots. Both he and Audie pushed the radishes to one side, though, the only slight flaw in an otherwise perfect performance. The meal could only be counted as an unqualified success. Until Audie leaned over to pass the beans and put some weight on his left buttock. It was still sore. He winced and almost dropped the bowl. Kevin saw that, realized that for what it was and let out a giggle.

"You OK?" Greg’s mother asked.

"Yeah, I’m OK," Audie replied and allowed a trace of disgust to creep into the answer.

Kevin just couldn’t keep it to himself. "Audie got a spankin’ last night," be blurted out. "Must still be sore!"

"Kevin!" Audie snapped. Greg’s parents just smiled.

"What’d you do?" Greg asked at once.

"Nothin’" Audie returned with some heat, then explained the sorry episode.

"Yeah," Greg commented after Audie was through. "I once got it for something I didn’t do, too."

"Greg," his father warned him off the subject by stretching out the name.

Undaunted, Greg changed the subject. "What’d you get it with? I get it with a big ol’ strap."

Audie hung his head. "I got it with a belt. Hard."

"And with his pants pulled down, too," Kevin made sure nothing was left out.

That earned him another "Kevin!" from his brother - two non-Kevie’s in a row. Kevin decided that was enough and left off.

Audie looked up at Greg, clearly embarrassed. Greg’s face turned red, too. "Yeah, I get it bare, too. Hurts, doesn’t it?"

"Heck yes!" Audie replied, then got back at his bratty brother. "Doesn’t it, Kevie?"

Now it was Kevin’s turn to blush. "Yeah," he whispered and that ended that topic of conversation.

When they were all done both Greg’s parents thanked Audie and the other two boys for a job well done. Audie remembered to return the thanks for the food and Kevin took that as a cue to do the same. Taking that as a signal, both Audie and Kevin got up with their plates in hand and carried them to the sink and then returned to bus the table. Actually, this was not a carefully thought out plan in any way. It was just habit. They had to clean up after themselves after dinner at home lest an Uncle Jack be turned off by seeing a sink full of dirty dishes, so they didn’t give it a second thought here.

"Here, here," Greg’s mother scolded them when she realized that her two young guests were cleaning up like that. Audie had a moment’s panic that they had something wrong until she continued. "Let me do the washing up, after all, you cooked!"

Kevin wondered at that. A mother actually washing his dinner dishes for him. What luxury! Thanking her profusely, he boys retreated. Audie and Kevin returned to the video game and Kevin to his Dr. Seuss. Greg’s dad sat down across from Kevin and started to read the paper. After a second or two, however, he put the paper down and marveled at a 6-year old being so quiet. He wished his son would learn something.

A half-hour later Audie came out of the bedroom and announced that it was time for him and his brother to be getting home and could they be driven, or was there no car and they would have to walk.

"Oh, good heavens, no" Greg’s dad exclaimed. "We rented a car from the garage. Come, let’s go." He and the boys piled into the car and Audie gave directions. Sort of. Audie didn’t have much experience at navigating (actually none at all) but he knew the name of his street and that was enough.

They pulled up in front of Audie’s apartment house and Kevin and Audie thanked the other two for the dinner again and said good by. After seeing the boys safely inside their apartment, Greg’s father started up the car. "Not a very impressive place, is it?" he asked his son.

"Who cares?" Greg answered. Who, indeed?

Audie and Kevin locked the door carefully behind them. Audie noticed that the note was still on the table where Kevin had left it, so their mother hadn’t been home to see it. Good - no explanations would be necessary. Audie tore up the note and threw it in the trash. A glance at the clock told him that it was quite a bit past bedtime, and he weighted the choice of delaying sack time even farther or skipping that night’s bath. His adrenalin had started to decline now that the ordeal was over and that made him tired enough that the bath was given up. He took his brother into the bedroom and they stripped and climbed in under the covers.

"Audie," Kevin asked when the light was turned off, "that was sure a nice visit. I wish we had a mom and dad."

Audie caught his breath at that statement. "Just be glad for what you got, Kevin," he replied.

"I am, Audie," Kevin replied. "I got you." He snuggled under Audie’s chin and they fell asleep.", "pools_count": 1, "title": "The Tale of Two Little Bastards - Chapter 4", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "text/plain", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "3", "name": "Violence", "description": "Mild violence", "rating_id": "1" }, { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "f", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "1", "views": "168" }