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Why? Cause it's fucking depressing. I mean...Geebus what was I on? It's sooooo dark and bleak and cut myself down the street write in your livejournal about it.
But I wrote it...and re reading it, seems like I -tried-...but damn it's ugly suck.
XD

Don't read too much into this. I was trying to show off Sparkle's Alcoholism as a problem but...I don't know where I was going.", "writing": "It was snowing quietly. Fat flakes fluttering down in slow, lazy patterns, circling, spiraling, and dancing towards the ground where they would join their thousands and thousands of brothers and sisters. It was Saturday night, the apartment was empty, and Sparkle was lying on her back, listening to the silence that echoed through the room. Margie was out again. School, or maybe she was at the restaurant, working on her degree. Margie was going to be a famous chef, working in her own restaurant one day. She'd sell millions of cook books, meet tons of famous people, and get her own channel on the food network. Sparkle was sure of it. The wolf gazed quietly out her window, peering into the night, past the fluttering soft fluffy flakes and towards the giant, glowing disc hanging in the middle of the sky.\nMargie was going to leave soon...No doubt about that. Far to a place where Sparkle couldn't follow. Her interest, of course, didn't lie in cooking, but simply, in not being alone. The wolf gave a bitter sigh. She swallowed a burble of bitterness that rose up in her throat, and shook her head, slowly sitting up in her bed. The room was still empty. Quietly, the wolf slide down from the bed, slipping into the darkness of her room. It was easy to lose oneself in the darkness. Negativity seemed to be amplified there, which in turn, probably had something to do with the boost of dark magic. Hmmmm magic... She decided to file the stay thought away for later, where it would collect dust and vanished from her brain weeks later. The wolf sighed softly. She was wearing a huge, over sized hoodie, which dwarfed her frame and ended near her thighs. She shivered for a moment and padded over towards the phone, which sat silently on her desk.\n\n\"Hello? \"\n\"Sparky? Is that you?\"\n\"Hey Spice...heh, what's up?\"\n\"Oh, not much, just getting' ready to go on an assignment.\"\n\"You've...got an assignment tonight?\"\n\"Yup! Top secret stuff. I'm goin' to Morocco! Why, what's up?\"\n\"Oh...nothing...just, thought it'd been a while since we hung out...n' all, just...figured-\"\n\"Sorry sis, duty calls! Hey, maybe next weekend! Oops, choppers here, gotta run! Later sis!\"\nThe dial tone sang a quiet lament in Sparkle's ear, like a child piercing the air with a chiding call to another. She sighed, and lashed her fingers about the number pad.\n\n\"Hello, this is the office of Sylvia Shadowpaw, This is April speaking, how may I help you?\"\n\"Ahhh.....yes, this...is Sparkle. I was wondering if-\"\n\"OH! Sparkle Shadowpaw, right? Miss Sylvia has requested an audience with you, at your earliest convince, She is currently in a meeting right now, but if you like I could-\"\n\"No...no that's ok.\"\n\"Are you sure, I could jus-\"\nSpark hung up the phone quietly, rubbing a few choice fingers across the bridge of her nose. She picked up the phone...\n\n\"Hello?\"\n\"Uh....Hi....Strafe...?\"\n\"HEY lil sis! Long time no call! \"\n\"Hi Strafe...d, do you have a minute to talk?\"\n\"Ahh,h Really wish I did Sparky, but me n' the guys are headin' out to see Cloverfield inna coupla minutes here. Canni call yeah back in a few hours?\"\n\"Sure...hey sure go for it.\" Sparkle nodded her head with a sniff, sadly placing the receiver back on the hook. She glared at her phone for a few minutes. It was an old fashion rotary telephone. One she'd gotten from a flea market for six dollars and eighty nine cents. It was so old, and antique and perfect, she had to have it. It was perfect for her...and now it sit, silently on the dresser, mocking her with it's silence. She growled quietly, and reached out, batting it from the stand. It slammed into the ground with a musical cry, and the wolf walked by with a snarl.\n\"Ring, damn it. \"She muttered quietly. It wasn't long before her meandering lead her to the kitchen, as it always did. Straight to the cupboard, where she kept her booze. Alcohol was her friend. It was always there whenever she wanted it to be. She closed her eyes, opening the wooden door to the cabinet and let her fingers trail across the multitude of different shaped bottles. She stopped at the Jack Daniels without even looking and tugged it free from it's siblings.\n\nNext was a glass. She reached to the left, and opened the cupboard there, and pulled free her favorite shot glass. It was part of a set, Spice had gotten her for Christmas. It was a smallish glass with an Ace of Spade's card printed on the surface. The others in the set included the ace of clubs, hearts and diamonds. Quietly, Sparkle poured herself a drink, and downed it in one gulp, wincing the moment the liquor slid across her tongue. She poured herself another drink, closing her eyes this time. She swallowed it quietly, and in the midst of her third drink, she paused, and listened. There was a sound outside... MARGIE WAS BACK! The wolf, beamed quietly, her tail giving a flicker and she rushed towards the door, happily throwing it open. Outside, a Beaver, and a Chipmunk were opening the door across the hall, slipping into the apartment and closing the door, with a loud roaring laughter. It looked like they were the first friends to arrive to a growing party. Sparkle sighed quietly, closing the door, and returned to the kitchen quietly, looking at the half filled shot glass in her paw. This is what she'd been reduced to? There was a shatter of glass, dark alcohol splashing across the tiled floor of the kitchen where she'd thrown her realization.\n\"OH...oh...oh shit! Shit!\" She squeaked, the wolf instantly kneeling down, meekly trying to pick up the shards of glad that had crashed to the floor. She whimpered quietly, trying to piece the parts back together, but it was no use. \n\"T, they...they don't fit...oh.....they don't fit...\"She whimpered quietly, shaking her head. She tumbled back onto her rump, leaning against the lower cabinet doors, while hot tears began to trickle down her face.\n\"It was part of a set....I'll never...my favorite glass...\"She sobbed quietly. She looked down at the tile floor, a puddle of alcohol oozing across the floor. She knelt down, and extended her tongue, eagerly hoping to collect the last few droplets of booze that remained and paused in the midst of the first lap. She was an alcoholic- she knew that...but since when did she sink to the level of licking alcohol off the floor? She sat up and rubbed her tongue on the back of her sleeve and whimpered.\n\"I have to go now...\"She squeaked quietly, standing up, making sure not to tread across the broken glass. The wolf hurriedly padded into her room, and threw on the first pair of pants she stumbled across. This was followed by her favorite jacket, and a purple scarf- Christmas presents from Sugar and Strike.\n\nIt was still snowing when she got outside...The cool winds whipping around her body, and she turned her collar to the cold. She had to get outside. Away from the daunting task of remaining alone in the apartment...and now she was alone outside. The streets were empty, no one was out in the weather they were having. It wasn't a blizzard, it wasn't even that cold out! It was Saturday and her street was empty. New York of all places, and it was empty!!\n\"...Wha...where is....\" She called out. Her voice bounced off the few buildings around her and she gave a quiet whimper, starting to walk. She didn't know where she was going, but it didn't matter. Anywhere was better then where she was, but after a few paces, she turned and watched her paw prints disappear in the falling snow. It was still silent.\n\"...I...I'm cold...\" Spark whimpered quietly, glancing around. She tugged her jacket tighter against her body and continued a few more feet. She stopped, and perked her ears. There was no one there.\n\"...Anybody.....please...come and get me\" She sniffled. The winter's response was cold, and uncaring, fluffy flakes of snow slowly caressing her hair, as she walked.\n\"I'm tired of being alone. \"She sighed softly. She walked until she was tired of walking, tired of treading the cold frost eaten earth, and ducked inside of a small coffee shop on the corner.\nIt was warm inside, the scents of multiple types of beans assaulting her nose the moment she set foot into the shop, and the attendant offered her a slim smile. One of those smiles people offer when a costumer walks in, ten minutes before closing. The place was clean, and dead. There wasn't another soul in sight, and the jaguar, standing behind the counter, flashed that smile again.\n\"Hi.\" He said through gritt teeth. Spark sighed quietly, and glanced a the menu. There was nothing she wanted in the slightest, but it was cold outside. Finally, she reached into her pocket, and tossed a crumpled dollar bill into his tip jar. The feline tilted his head curiously, staring at her in awe, but she simply turned around and left without a word. Back on the streets, the storm had gotten considerably worse. The winds swept around her wildly, blasting at her body with all Jack Frost had to muster. She was fighting a losing battle. She couldn't even feel her nose anymore, but her legs kept moving, even though she couldn't feel those either. She didn't want to go home. That place wasn't home. She never had a home. She walked on, one foot in front of the other, left right, left right, left right, left right. She couldn't feel her arms anymore. Left right, left, right, left right, left right. Her ears her lost to her senses. Left, right, left right, left right. A voice trickled into her ear...\n\"You're dying...\"\n\"Who asked you?\" Her teeth chattered. The voice was calm, and decidedly quiet. She could barely hear it over howling winds that threatened to over take her. She knew that voice all to well. She hated that voice. The was the same voice she heard every time her heart had stopped, or she'd been shot, or she'd drowned...She hated that voice...\n\"You should go inside. \"\n\"Don't wanna.\"\n\"You're dying.\"\n\"Don't care.\"\n\"You're dying.\"\n\"Stop talking to me.\"\n\"You shouldn't be out here.\"\n\"I can't go home. I can't...I...I just...I'm so cold...\"\n\"Where are you going?\"\n\"Don't know...\"\n\"Turn around.\"\n\"...it's...it's so cold...how did it get so cold?\"\n\"Do you want to come inside?\"\n\"Yes please.\"\n\"It's a few more blocks. \"\n\"I'm...pretty sleepy.\"\n\"I know a place. Very warm...It's a chruch\"\n\"My legs are tired now.\"\n\"It's only a few more blocks.\"\n\"Shaddap.\"\nSparkle groaned. Left, right, left right, left right. She paused when she saw a staircase, buried half way in the deep snow that was almost up to her knees now. A church. Just like the voice said. She slowly clambered up the steps towards the building, and gave the door a tug. Locked. Of course it was locked. It was night. Churches weren't open at night. So she sat down on the steps quietly and pulled her scarf tighter around her neck and sighed. What a stupid way to die. She was to tired to concentrate, and far to tired to teleport herself anywhere. But if she didn't do something soon, she was going to freeze to death. She stood up again, and closed her eyes. A quick cast took much more energy then a regularly chanted spell. She let a few syllables of magic float from her lips, and suddenly, the world changed. She was standing inside of the church!\nThe wolf staggered a few steps towards the main pew, the room was dark, the lights tuned off, and the heat turned off. Still, it was warmer inside then it was out. She took another few steps towards the pew, and looked up over it, were a huge picture of God was hanging on the wall. She sighed quietly, and collapses to the floor, sitting with her back against the preacher's podium.\n\"I get it, alright? I get it. I'm not your favorite, you don't love me, you even locked me out of your house. I grew up in a home, where my mom tried to kill my sisters, and my dad tried to kill me. \"She sniffled.\n\"I GET it, alright! ...I just wanna know why? Why do you hate me so much? Is it the magic? The sex club? The booze? Or was I just a mistake that you've been trying to fix and I'm just to stubborn to know when to quit? Why me? Why...I don't bug you for nothing. I don't even pray. I don't ask for money, or a new car, or....or anything. Is that it? Is it because I don't pray? I'm praying now, aren't I? I just want....I...\"She trailed off, rubbing her eyes slowly, but the tears wouldn't stop.\n\"I don't know. I just want somebody to love me. Oh, geez, what's wrong with me, I'm talking to a picture...\"She sniffled quietly, rubbing her shoulders. By now, her legs had warmed up a little bit, and the wolf found the strength to stand. She glanced over her shoulder at the image again and she sighed. She wondered if she had the energy to make it back to her apartment...", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "It was snowing quietly. Fat flakes fluttering down in slow, lazy patterns, circling, spiraling, and dancing towards the ground where they would join their thousands and thousands of brothers and sisters. It was Saturday night, the apartment was empty, and Sparkle was lying on her back, listening to the silence that echoed through the room. Margie was out again. School, or maybe she was at the restaurant, working on her degree. Margie was going to be a famous chef, working in her own restaurant one day. She'd sell millions of cook books, meet tons of famous people, and get her own channel on the food network. Sparkle was sure of it. The wolf gazed quietly out her window, peering into the night, past the fluttering soft fluffy flakes and towards the giant, glowing disc hanging in the middle of the sky.
Margie was going to leave soon...No doubt about that. Far to a place where Sparkle couldn't follow. Her interest, of course, didn't lie in cooking, but simply, in not being alone. The wolf gave a bitter sigh. She swallowed a burble of bitterness that rose up in her throat, and shook her head, slowly sitting up in her bed. The room was still empty. Quietly, the wolf slide down from the bed, slipping into the darkness of her room. It was easy to lose oneself in the darkness. Negativity seemed to be amplified there, which in turn, probably had something to do with the boost of dark magic. Hmmmm magic... She decided to file the stay thought away for later, where it would collect dust and vanished from her brain weeks later. The wolf sighed softly. She was wearing a huge, over sized hoodie, which dwarfed her frame and ended near her thighs. She shivered for a moment and padded over towards the phone, which sat silently on her desk.

"Hello? "
"Sparky? Is that you?"
"Hey Spice...heh, what's up?"
"Oh, not much, just getting' ready to go on an assignment."
"You've...got an assignment tonight?"
"Yup! Top secret stuff. I'm goin' to Morocco! Why, what's up?"
"Oh...nothing...just, thought it'd been a while since we hung out...n' all, just...figured-"
"Sorry sis, duty calls! Hey, maybe next weekend! Oops, choppers here, gotta run! Later sis!"
The dial tone sang a quiet lament in Sparkle's ear, like a child piercing the air with a chiding call to another. She sighed, and lashed her fingers about the number pad.

"Hello, this is the office of Sylvia Shadowpaw, This is April speaking, how may I help you?"
"Ahhh.....yes, this...is Sparkle. I was wondering if-"
"OH! Sparkle Shadowpaw, right? Miss Sylvia has requested an audience with you, at your earliest convince, She is currently in a meeting right now, but if you like I could-"
"No...no that's ok."
"Are you sure, I could jus-"
Spark hung up the phone quietly, rubbing a few choice fingers across the bridge of her nose. She picked up the phone...

"Hello?"
"Uh....Hi....Strafe...?"
"HEY lil sis! Long time no call! "
"Hi Strafe...d, do you have a minute to talk?"
"Ahh,h Really wish I did Sparky, but me n' the guys are headin' out to see Cloverfield inna coupla minutes here. Canni call yeah back in a few hours?"
"Sure...hey sure go for it." Sparkle nodded her head with a sniff, sadly placing the receiver back on the hook. She glared at her phone for a few minutes. It was an old fashion rotary telephone. One she'd gotten from a flea market for six dollars and eighty nine cents. It was so old, and antique and perfect, she had to have it. It was perfect for her...and now it sit, silently on the dresser, mocking her with it's silence. She growled quietly, and reached out, batting it from the stand. It slammed into the ground with a musical cry, and the wolf walked by with a snarl.
"Ring, damn it. "She muttered quietly. It wasn't long before her meandering lead her to the kitchen, as it always did. Straight to the cupboard, where she kept her booze. Alcohol was her friend. It was always there whenever she wanted it to be. She closed her eyes, opening the wooden door to the cabinet and let her fingers trail across the multitude of different shaped bottles. She stopped at the Jack Daniels without even looking and tugged it free from it's siblings.

Next was a glass. She reached to the left, and opened the cupboard there, and pulled free her favorite shot glass. It was part of a set, Spice had gotten her for Christmas. It was a smallish glass with an Ace of Spade's card printed on the surface. The others in the set included the ace of clubs, hearts and diamonds. Quietly, Sparkle poured herself a drink, and downed it in one gulp, wincing the moment the liquor slid across her tongue. She poured herself another drink, closing her eyes this time. She swallowed it quietly, and in the midst of her third drink, she paused, and listened. There was a sound outside... MARGIE WAS BACK! The wolf, beamed quietly, her tail giving a flicker and she rushed towards the door, happily throwing it open. Outside, a Beaver, and a Chipmunk were opening the door across the hall, slipping into the apartment and closing the door, with a loud roaring laughter. It looked like they were the first friends to arrive to a growing party. Sparkle sighed quietly, closing the door, and returned to the kitchen quietly, looking at the half filled shot glass in her paw. This is what she'd been reduced to? There was a shatter of glass, dark alcohol splashing across the tiled floor of the kitchen where she'd thrown her realization.
"OH...oh...oh shit! Shit!" She squeaked, the wolf instantly kneeling down, meekly trying to pick up the shards of glad that had crashed to the floor. She whimpered quietly, trying to piece the parts back together, but it was no use.  
"T, they...they don't fit...oh.....they don't fit..."She whimpered quietly, shaking her head. She tumbled back onto her rump, leaning against the lower cabinet doors, while hot tears began to trickle down her face.
"It was part of a set....I'll never...my favorite glass..."She sobbed quietly. She looked down at the tile floor, a puddle of alcohol oozing across the floor. She knelt down, and extended her tongue, eagerly hoping to collect the last few droplets of booze that remained and paused in the midst of the first lap. She was an alcoholic- she knew that...but since when did she sink to the level of licking alcohol off the floor? She sat up and rubbed her tongue on the back of her sleeve and whimpered.
"I have to go now..."She squeaked quietly, standing up, making sure not to tread across the broken glass. The wolf hurriedly padded into her room, and threw on the first pair of pants she stumbled across. This was followed by her favorite jacket, and a purple scarf- Christmas presents from Sugar and Strike.

It was still snowing when she got outside...The cool winds whipping around her body, and she turned her collar to the cold. She had to get outside. Away from the daunting task of remaining alone in the apartment...and now she was alone outside. The streets were empty, no one was out in the weather they were having. It wasn't a blizzard, it wasn't even that cold out! It was Saturday and her street was empty. New York of all places, and it was empty!!
"...Wha...where is...." She called out. Her voice bounced off the few buildings around her and she gave a quiet whimper, starting to walk. She didn't know where she was going, but it didn't matter. Anywhere was better then where she was, but after a few paces, she turned and watched her paw prints disappear in the falling snow. It was still silent.
"...I...I'm cold..." Spark whimpered quietly, glancing around. She tugged her jacket tighter against her body and continued a few more feet. She stopped, and perked her ears. There was no one there.
"...Anybody.....please...come and get me" She sniffled. The winter's response was cold, and uncaring, fluffy flakes of snow slowly caressing her hair, as she walked.
"I'm tired of being alone. "She sighed softly. She walked until she was tired of walking, tired of treading the cold frost eaten earth, and ducked inside of a small coffee shop on the corner.
It was warm inside, the scents of multiple types of beans assaulting her nose the moment she set foot into the shop, and the attendant offered her a slim smile. One of those smiles people offer when a costumer walks in, ten minutes before closing. The place was clean, and dead. There wasn't another soul in sight, and the jaguar, standing behind the counter, flashed that smile again.
"Hi." He said through gritt teeth. Spark sighed quietly, and glanced a the menu. There was nothing she wanted in the slightest, but it was cold outside. Finally, she reached into her pocket, and tossed a crumpled dollar bill into his tip jar. The feline tilted his head curiously, staring at her in awe, but she simply turned around and left without a word. Back on the streets, the storm had gotten considerably worse. The winds swept around her wildly, blasting at her body with all Jack Frost had to muster. She was fighting a losing battle. She couldn't even feel her nose anymore, but her legs kept moving, even though she couldn't feel those either. She didn't want to go home. That place wasn't home. She never had a home. She walked on, one foot in front of the other, left right, left right, left right, left right. She couldn't feel her arms anymore. Left right, left, right, left right, left right. Her ears her lost to her senses. Left, right, left right, left right. A voice trickled into her ear...
"You're dying..."
"Who asked you?" Her teeth chattered. The voice was calm, and decidedly quiet. She could barely hear it over howling winds that threatened to over take her. She knew that voice all to well. She hated that voice. The was the same voice she heard every time her heart had stopped, or she'd been shot, or she'd drowned...She hated that voice...
"You should go inside. "
"Don't wanna."
"You're dying."
"Don't care."
"You're dying."
"Stop talking to me."
"You shouldn't be out here."
"I can't go home. I can't...I...I just...I'm so cold..."
"Where are you going?"
"Don't know..."
"Turn around."
"...it's...it's so cold...how did it get so cold?"
"Do you want to come inside?"
"Yes please."
"It's a few more blocks. "
"I'm...pretty sleepy."
"I know a place. Very warm...It's a chruch"
"My legs are tired now."
"It's only a few more blocks."
"Shaddap."
Sparkle groaned. Left, right, left right, left right. She paused when she saw a staircase, buried half way in the deep snow that was almost up to her knees now. A church. Just like the voice said. She slowly clambered up the steps towards the building, and gave the door a tug. Locked. Of course it was locked. It was night. Churches weren't open at night. So she sat down on the steps quietly and pulled her scarf tighter around her neck and sighed. What a stupid way to die. She was to tired to concentrate, and far to tired to teleport herself anywhere. But if she didn't do something soon, she was going to freeze to death. She stood up again, and closed her eyes. A quick cast took much more energy then a regularly chanted spell. She let a few syllables of magic float from her lips, and suddenly, the world changed. She was standing inside of the church!
The wolf staggered a few steps towards the main pew, the room was dark, the lights tuned off, and the heat turned off. Still, it was warmer inside then it was out. She took another few steps towards the pew, and looked up over it, were a huge picture of God was hanging on the wall. She sighed quietly, and collapses to the floor, sitting with her back against the preacher's podium.
"I get it, alright? I get it. I'm not your favorite, you don't love me, you even locked me out of your house. I grew up in a home, where my mom tried to kill my sisters, and my dad tried to kill me. "She sniffled.
"I GET it, alright! ...I just wanna know why? Why do you hate me so much? Is it the magic? The sex club? The booze? Or was I just a mistake that you've been trying to fix and I'm just to stubborn to know when to quit? Why me? Why...I don't bug you for nothing. I don't even pray. I don't ask for money, or a new car, or....or anything. Is that it? Is it because I don't pray? I'm praying now, aren't I? I just want....I..."She trailed off, rubbing her eyes slowly, but the tears wouldn't stop.
"I don't know. I just want somebody to love me. Oh, geez, what's wrong with me, I'm talking to a picture..."She sniffled quietly, rubbing her shoulders. By now, her legs had warmed up a little bit, and the wolf found the strength to stand. She glanced over her shoulder at the image again and she sighed. She wondered if she had the energy to make it back to her apartment...", "pools_count": 0, "title": "Lonely Snowfall", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "text/plain", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" }, { "content_tag_id": "5", "name": "Strong Violence", "description": "Strong violence, blood, serious injury or death", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "f", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "0", "views": "59" }