Tail of the Drunkbark Acorn

As Danzaburou arrived on Sado Island, he was immediately welcomed with a parade and feast from his loyal tanukis. They all happily paraded him around the island to celebrate his victories on the battlegrounds of SMITE. He had earned a large number of worshippers thanks to his amusing trickery he pulled on others. After the parade, he would settle all of his tanuki down for one final toast of sake.
“OOH! Tell us what trickery you performed during your latest conquest Danzaburou-sama!” One of his lovely tanukis named Sansaburo eagerly leaned in while wagging his tail.
“Ehehehe~ Oh Sansaburo-mujina I have a lovely story just for you.” Danzaburou would reach down into his pack and pull out an acorn.
A gasp would echo through all of his tanukis. Sansaburo’s eyes would light up. “I know that! That’s an acorn from the Norse Realms!”
“Correct! And who keeps watch over that massive tree in the Norse Realms?”
All of his tanuki would soon begin smiling and cheering even louder.
Danzaburou could only laugh. “Hahaha! That’s right! Danzaburou managed trick the mighty god Ratatoskr!”
Sansaburo would bound to the legendary tanuki and hold his hand. “OOH! How did you do it Danzaburou-sama!?”
He gave the smaller tanuki a smile “Ehehehe~ Oh Sansaburo-mujina,” he then would turn to the rest of his loyal tanukis, “my fellow mujinas! Nestle down and I shall tell you the tale of a Drunkbark Acorn…”

A few days ago…
Things were entering a lull period on the SMITE battleground. Danzaburou’s support had left his lane for the middle lane after the two had a successful series of skirmishes. His enemy carry was much weaker to him and had to retreat to base. He was left completely alone at the time and had nothing better to do but clear his minion wave and then ward his blind side. And that’s what he went to do.
As the legendary tanuki placed the tiny vision giving trinket, he couldn’t stop himself from muttering “Ki o tsukete! They are all around us!” He quickly shook his head in annoyance. “I still don’t know why I start saying that, even when no one is here. I’m trying to hide here why would I feel the need to say that?”
He didn’t waste too much longer pondering and proceeded to return to his lane. Alas, he couldn’t even take another step before voice from above “Look out below!”
He looked up in a panic as a large rodent heavily slammed down into the ground near him. He could only wince in pain as the sheer force of the impact sent him flying. “GAH!” He thankfully was able to right himself enough to meet his adversary. “Nnngh! Who dares attack Danzaburou, The Legendary Tanuki!?”
Standing in front of the tanuki was a squirrel only slightly shorter than him brandishing sharp claws, a bluish aura, and a smug smile. “Heh! Only the strongest and well respected god in the world! Ratatoskr!”
Danzaburou narrowed his eyes and pointed his gun at the squirrel. “I’ve heard of you “squirrel” my allies warned me you may try to stop me!”
The squirrel let out a laugh. “Ohohahaha! It’s nice to hear that my obvious greatness is well known!” He gave himself a bit before calming down. “Well then Danzaburou or whatever your name is, I just thought you should know that no one coming to save you.”
The tanuki raised an eyebrow. “And what makes you think they won’t? You’re standing on a ward!”
Ratatoskr just gave him a smug smirk. “Ahh. Cama told me!”
““Cama”? Who’s Cama?”
“Cama? Camazotz? The big bat with an aggressive temper? He’s your ally right?”
“What would my ally have to say to you?”
“Oh! Nothing much! I do remember seeing him in the jungle and saying “I’m not going to that Danzaburou’s lane! He going to take all my last hits anyways.””
Danzaburou glared at him. “What? I would do no such thing! At least, not always…”
“Heh. So he was right!”
The tanuki raised his gun. “And? So what?”
“So… My carry will love it if you’re eliminated. Would you mind being a good little dog and surrendering yourself to my nuts?”
Danzaburou’s mind thought fast for a solution to his problem. What Ratatoskr said seemed to be right. This whole time, no one was even coming to help him. He was on his own for this one. Thankfully, his trickster mind gave him something to work with.
The Norse god lowered his haunches, preparing dash into him. Danzaburou simply smiled at the sight and prepared his own gun. He taunted the squirrel with one of his favorite quotes, “Ore wa Danzaburou kakatte koi!”
He smiled as Ratatoskr would tilt his head in confusion, just the opening he needed. With a slight wave of his hand, he replaced his original self with a copy made of leaves. He made the clone finish his saying. “What’s wrong squirrel? Are your subtitles not turned on?”
Ratatoskr would briefly pause before gasping in realization. “Ohh! You’re from the Japanese Pantheon huh? That was Japanese I presume?”
His clone would nod confidently. While it did, Danzaburou slowly inched his hand into the squirrel god’s pouch. There he would feel for his target. That was until Ratatoskr grabbed his hand and turned back to the invisible tanuki.
Danzaburou’s eyes widened as the Norse god looked at him smugly and said, “Well then… Ég er Ratatoskr, drottinn sköpunarinnar, skapari allra lífvera og eyðileggjandi örlaganna!”
He couldn’t react at all as the squirrel used his smaller frame as leverage to throw the raccoon dog under him. The sudden impact caused his clone to disappear, leaving only leaves.
“Gah! Nani!? What was that!?”
Ratatoskr placed his paw on his back and let out a playful tone. “Oh that? That was Icelandic. I normally speak Old Norse with the other gods, but the languages of the mortals change constantly. I can even speak Swedish, Danish, and Norwegian if you like~…”
Danzaburou couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “That’s not what I meant at all!” He hurriedly worked his magic on the acorn he still managed to grab and hold on to. “Meant, what was that combat move?”
“Oh that? Just a little something I’ve been practicing by mimicking Thor when he’s wrestling… It’s a Norse thing.”
“Hmph. I can tell…”
“So then, Danzaburou? Eh. Such a long name. Mind if I call you Danza?”
The tanuki looked back in anger. “NO YOU MA-” A forceful pin deeper into the ground stopped his complaints.
“Shut up, big mouth, I’m talking…”
Danza did as he was told, almost complete with his surprise.
“So Danza, any last words before I send you back to your fountain?”
The tanuki waited just a few more seconds before replying. With a sorrowful tone “Well Ratatoskr, I am a merchant at heart… In my final moments, could I propose a trade with you?”
The squirrel could only shake his head. “Heh, alright, humor me. Whatcha wanna trade?” He released Danza from his pin turned him straight towards the god.
Danza would finally reveal his offer. “How about I trade you this acorn I recklessly removed from your bag, all in exchange for my life?”
Ratatoskr’s eyes widened before he burst out laughing. “Hahahaha! Seriously!? There’s no way!”
“Oh! But there is! You take this! Danzaburou walks away freely with his life! Fair trade no?”
The Norse god would calm himself down. “Heheh… You realize I use my acorns to attack right? You would just be making it harder for yourself and your allies to beat me.”
The tanuki simply smiled “Heh. A worthy sacrifice.”
Ratatoskr would return the smile. “Alright. I’ll humor you…” He would hold out his hand. “Acorn first obviously…”
Danzaburou would quickly stand up and brush himself off before holding out the acorn. He did have to admit, it was much bigger than any normal acorn should have been, and it had a strange magic to it. Either way, this was his ticket to victory.
The squirrel god would shake his head and roll his eyes as the tanuki enticed him to step forwards and take it.  
Danza would wait until Ratatoskr was close enough before springing his trap. “Now then, hold on THIS for me!”
Ratatoskr’s eyes would widen in surprise as the tanuki threw his own acorn directly at him. He felt his instincts take over as he opened his mouth and easily caught the projectile with it. His eyes glared with anger as the tanuki began to turn and run. He spat out his acorn and began to give chase, at least until he began to feel slightly dizzy.
Danzaburou would stop his retreat and turned back to see the effects of his magic. What he found was admittedly a cute sight. Ratatoskr stood in a bit of a daze. His cheeks were red and slightly flushed, a big sign that someone was drunk. Laying on the ground near him was the sake-covered acorn he threw at the god. He let out a laugh at the sight.
“Hah! Take that! Danzaburou has beaten you squirrel!” He slung his gun over his body and began to walk back to his lane, he more than likely missed a few minions just from this engagement alone. He still wanted to keep the lead he already had.
Ratatoskr’s eyes would pierce into the back of the tanuki’s head. He smiled and hiccupped before beginning to laugh. “Hahahaha~!”
Danza would narrow his eyes and turn back around to the squirrel. Strangely though, he wouldn’t see any traces of him nor the acorn. “N-Nani?”
An ominous silence would overtake the area before he felt a sudden impact.
“HEY! CATCH!”
The force stunned the tanuki off of his feet again. He would soon feel himself be pinned down again. He would shake his head and clear his vision only to see Ratatoskr once again on top of him. The squirrel’s breath reeked of alcohol.
“Ooh~ Th-That was -hic- very good~… Thanks for the nut Danza.”
The Norse god gave him a smile. “Whatever stuff you put in that nut was miles better than any mead I could have in Valhalla -hic-…”
Danza could only frown. “I-I would thank you for the compliment but that should have been more than enough sake to put you to sleep!”
“Heh. Hehehe. Hohohahaha! You clearly have never had drink with ANY Norse god huh? I’ve had much harder stuff and still -hic- lived to be here. Your sake is good but not that good!”
He could only feel offended at the comment “Grr! That is nonsense! Danzaburou’s sake is some of the best sake in the world! Even better than anything you Norse gods have!”
Ratatoskr only smiled wider. “Well then… Since you’re so -hic- sure about that, how about I give you a taste of your sake huh?”
Danza’s eyes would briefly open in surprise as the squirrel produced the intoxicating acorn again. He gritted his teeth in defiance, but the Norse god was quick to diffuse that in a strange way.
Ratatoskr’s tail would lower itself towards the tanuki’s crotch. He angled it around Danza’s robes and caressed his hidden package.
A moan would escape Danza, one that the squirrel god took advantage of by shoving the acorn into his mouth.
He couldn’t stop the lovely taste of his sake from filling his maw. There seemed to be much for him to swallow, something he quickly tried to do in order to get out of this mess. Alas, he felt mind grow slightly foggy. His cheeks and insides felt tingly. It was strange, Danza was highly resilient to his own sake. He’s had it millions of times before. But this time felt different. Magic was at work here, one that wasn’t his own…
“Mmmph~…”
After a few seconds, the tanuki would spit out the acorn. “Hnngh~ That… -hic- I wasn’t expecting that…”
Ratatoskr would nod. “Y-Yeah… Seems like Yggdrasil mixed with your sake makes a good drink -hic-…“
 Danza would let out a moan as the warmth of Ratatoskr made his cock hard.
The squirrel god was quick to smell the lovely scent under the tanuki’s robes and smiled at the sight. “Hmm~ You seem to have a friend that likes my warmth. Need help getting him out?”
Danza would smile widely as well. “Hehe, Danzaburou always makes his partners remove his clothes…”
“Oh~? Partners? We just met buddy…”
“And? I see a perfect opportunity…”
Ratatoskr would climb over to his crotch and undo his robes. “Well then… I normally like to give my “Partners” a test drive…”
“Heh. Go ahead risu…”
Upon saying that Ratatoskr would finish untying the tanuki’s robe, revealing his cock peaking out of his sheathe and his glorious balls. Immediately, the squirrel’s eyes lit up in lust.
Danzaburou couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Hnahahaeheh~! -hic- Ah~! What’s the matter Ratatoskr? Never seen a gun this big?”
The squirrel god would grab the tanuki’s sensitive shaft, getting a moan out of him again. “Ohh~ I’ve seen bigger Danza. But, I will say, these nuts are something else!” He would bring a hand down to lovingly grope them, merely increasing the tanuki’s erection. The god could only blush. “Even I’m -hic- a little jealous…”
“Heh! Us raccoon dogs have the best balls around! We pride ourselves on our size!”
“Oh~ Well then Mr. “Legendary Tanuki”. I take it you’re holding back?”
“Heh. I have to, we are fighting. My real size would simply get in the way~…”
“Hmph. What a shame…” Ratatoskr would lean down and give his balls a loving series of licks causing the tanuki to pant. “… Because I would love to see the full thing~…”
“Hmmh, maybe if you give Danzaburou a ride, he’ll give you a way to see it.”
“Hahaha! Jokes on you Danza~ I’m a master at giving rides!”
Danza shivered as he felt the squirrel god bring his glorious tongue to the tanuki’s full mast cock. The well-endowed raccoon dog let out another moan at the warm feeling. “Grrnhh~ Ahh. That’s much better than any of my tanukis…”
Ratatoskr merely gave him a smug smile before grabbing the tip of the tanuki’s cock. “Heh. Obviously, they aren’t gods nor are they sexy -hic- like me~”
Danza wasn’t allowed to rebuttal before the squirrel god began kissing and licking the pre from his tip. He couldn’t help but hump into Ratatoskr’s maw.
Ratatoskr gagged at the semi-forced entry, but his drunk self helped him relax. His throat felt loose enough to take more. He moaned, feeling his own erection come up as the tanuki humped into his face.
Danza would begin to sit up, applying more force behind his thrusts. The squirrel gods mouth felt warm and heavenly. He instinctively grabbed Ratatoskr’s ears for slightly more leverage before his orgasm came. “Grrrgh rah~!”
Ratatoskr, let out a muffled moan as he witnessed the tanuki tense up and spill his seed into his maw. It tasted amazing, even for god standards! He prodded at the tanuki’s balls coaxing more and more of his seed out.
It would take a few seconds for the squirrel god to pull himself off of the tanuki’s cock. He licked up a small bit of cum before it could spill on to the ground. “Mmmph~ Tasty nut…”
Danza panted and blushed. “Ahh~ Th-Thank you… Your mouth was -hic- also warm and nice.”
The squirrel god gave him a sensual smile. “-hic-! If you think that’s cool, you should try my ass!”
 “Heh! With pleasure!”
The two would share a warm moment before hearing a loud screeching sound. Danzaburou’s eyes would widen while Ratatoskr’s would remain fixated on the tanuki.
“Argh! Cama is coming!”
The squirrel god remained unmoved. “-hic- Who the Hel cares? Let him walk in on our moment~…”
Danza would frown slightly with regret. “As much as I want to, I’m afraid I can’t let him see us like this…”
Ratatoskr would yelp slightly as the tanuki pushed the Norse god off of him and grabbed his gun.
It would take the squirrel god a second to stand up balance himself again. He still smiled happily. “Mmph~ Can I at least know where to visit you?”
Danza returned the smile. “My home is Sado Island, deep in Nihon. You will need to get past Tsukuyomi-sama if you want to meet me again.”
“Hehe~ Not a difficult order at all~… I may stop by to finish what we -hic- started here and grab some more sake…”
“Heh. I’ll be happy to make some on the house friend…”
The two would blush and smile at each other for a few seconds.
The moment would soon be interrupted by a large bat. “Darkness falls upon you!”
The moment it was said, all that would be heard is Ratatoskr quietly complaining, “Cut down… -hic- in my prime…”
Camazotz would land in the squirrel god’s death spot in confusion. “Hmm!? What happen here!?” He turned in anger to and innocent-looking but clearly drunk Danzaburou.”
“Ah! Camazotz! Nice to see you again! Thank you for ganking my lane!”
“Where’s the enemy Jungler?”
“Uhh. I uh… -hic- killed him?”
The bat god would screech in anger. “I used my ultimate and stopped my jungle rotation for this!?”
The tanuki would give him a smile. “Yes, you did.”
“I’m smelling bullshit! What did you do!?”
“Are you sure it’s not the sake~?”
Cama would give him a deathly expression. “… That’s it… I’m taking your wave.”
Danzaburou immediately pointed his gun at him in anger. “Ohh no you’re not! Leave! Go somewhere else!”
Thankfully, Danzaburou would be spared thanks to a blast of magic piercing through the bat god.
Camazotz would let out a screech of pain as he turned to stone and crumbled.
Danzaburou could only chuckle. “Oops! Heh. I forgot to warn him that I told Ratatoskr to ward there. Ahh well. The enemy Mid laner needed that kill anyways.” He chuckled to himself before heading back to his lane to farm and continue his conquest…

Present time…
“… And that, my dear mujinas, was how I Danzaburou, the Legendary Tanuki, tricked his own ally into getting killed by the god Janus!”
Sansaburo and his fellow tanukis cheered in happiness as he finished his story. Afterwards, Danzaburou ordered them all to return home for the night so that they could be well rested for any future trickery.
Danzaburou, himself, would retire to his grand shrine. Sake bottles lined his hallways as he walked towards his bedroom to sleep. With a yawn, he began disrobing. However, a distant sound of skittering would stop him. His ears became alert, but they soon relax when the footsteps were clearly not a tanukis.
 “So… I take it you’re here for more sake?”
Ratatoskr would saunter into the dim light with a smug smile. “Hey. If you got the sake, I’ve got the acorns… We can make all the Drunkbark Acorns we like~…”
“Oh~ Is that what you’re calling it then huh?”
“Well~ It did get us both drunk despite us having a tolerance. I think it’s a good name.”
“Hehehe. I do like it… But, the question is, can you ride better than my tanukis? Sansaburo is one of my greatest bottoms. How could you ever top that?”
The squirrel god simply reached into his pouch to pull out the same acorn they both used. “Maybe with just a couple of drops of these…”
“Heh. As long as you’re not scared of big things, I will be okay…”