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Things are bad for the nerd. The King of the Chads has slain yet another queer succubus in front of the entire Nation. Neurospicy queer, male nerds are having a tizzy fit as Chad homos stride confidently in a subdued celebration. The nerds are suffocating on toxic jock oppression.
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“Paw inspection?” you ask. You consumed the most recent Fact Check, which informed you that Paw Inspections are part of Project 69420, a list of unkosher demands with chutzpuh like you’ve never seen before.
“Honk, it’s Squonk.” Squonker squeaks deeply & accommodatingly
“Squonk?” You ask, the MK-ULTRA brainwashing hit a glitch, it skipped for a second…
“SQUOOOOOONK” Squonker says, emphasizing his Squonking most Squonkerly.
“SQ-SQ-SQUU-SQUUUU” your MK-ULTRA programming has kicked back in, you resist the urge to chant, “KAM-AL-UH” “KAM-AL-UH” rhythmically and in glassy-eyed unison.
“SQUONK SQUONK SQUONK” SQUONKER SQUONKS LOUDLY!
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“Ok, bucko” Squonk sayz.
“Y-yeah?” Your nervous tail is between ur legz, your glasses slip down your vulnerable, boopable snoot.
“Yup, yer a loser” Squonk sayz.
“O-oh n-no” as a queer, neurospicy nerd, you’re not sure how to respond without first forwarding this conversation to a group of your most gossipy friends.
“Yup. A loser.” Squonk says, tippin’ his unusual hat. “And you’re not gonna be able to resist these big, soft, hefty plomperz.”
*GULP* Squonk said it. The P-word. Plomperz.
“You like it.” Squonker sayz, whistling. “I bet you want me to put these beanz on ur booper.”
“N-no.” You say, most nerdishly, “you’re a nasi.”
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