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This photo is licensed under a Creative Commons 2.0 License.","description_bbcode_parsed":"I decided to come back early from my break from social media to upload this story I was working on these past few days.
Content warning: R-rated language and mature themes.
photo is NYC Taxi Ford Crown Victoria by Flickr user Jason Lawrence. This photo is licensed under a Creative Commons 2.0 License.","writing":"Yellow Cab Drivin'\n\n\tI'm a taxi driver. My name is Lavelle. I'm based outta Buffalo New York and I work for the yellow cab union local no. 44. Believe it or not, us yellow cab guys are still out here making a buck.\n\n\tLet me tell you about an average day on the job for me. Needless to say, it's pretty hectic. If I bust my butt off all day for like maybe 9-10 hours, then I can make 400 bucks a day. Now, I'm not living like a fat cat or anything, but I think that's pretty good. In case you wanted to know about what it's really like, being the fastest taxi driver in Buffalo, New York, I thought I'd tell you about what my day was like yesterday when I was on the clock.\n\n\tI had pulled up in front of a local big name supermarket and this gal had a few bags with her, wanted me to take her home she said. I had just finished dropping off somebody else...you see, that's how it always works in the yellow cab business, we just go where we're needed and they hail us just like they do in the movies you love to watch. Just a wave is all it takes. I tell them the fare rates, and we go.\n\n\tThis lady seemed a bit nervous. White lady, much older than me probably in her late 50s or so, wearing a cheapo purple dress and white sneakers. She hopped in the back of my cab. She had a lot of bags and it looked like she had some items stuffed into her purse as well. I didn't wanna look at her for too long, though, because I noticed her eyebrows were really off... I mean REALLY off. Not a great look. Could be she's on drugs, but I don't wanna assume she's a shoplifter. Not all drug abusers are shoplifters.\n\n\t``Workin' for the rat race, you know you're wasting your time! Workin' for the rat race! You're no friend of mine!'' the radio blurted out my choice of tunes while I came off a stop light, headed left on LaCeinaga Ave. I struggled not to sing one of my favorite songs by The Specials while I took her wherever my GPS unit told me to go. I love my job, we get to listen to tunes, drive people wherever, get paid big bucks! Way better than those app-based taxi services, where you have to beg people to write positive reviews, beg people not to smoke in your car! Or have to check your phone all the time for fares! I hope I never have to do that.\n\n\tI decided to look in the rear view mirror at the gal. But only through the side where I can't see her half-buzzed off eyebrow and her thin, long eyebrow both at the same time. She was looking pretty fidget-y and ansty. Her bags were chock full of an ungodly amount of what appeared to be cosmetics. I was starting to become a bit disgusted with myself. I almost hit a pedestrian because I spent too much time looking at her in my mirror. I hate it when I do that. The guy who was in the road gave me the bird, but not just any bird, I'm talking, slam your right forearm against your left elbow and unleash that actual fucker as high in the air as he could. If only he knew how hard it was to make $400 bucks a day taxi driving, he'd be leaving me roses by the stairs of my apartment. Turn the lights off, carry me home.\n\n\tThis was it, Bordeain Ave. The gal in the back with the messed up eyebrows had been shaking and tweaking out so much that her items had started to fall out onto the seats and the carpeting. She was reaching down, trying to gather all over her stuff in her overflowing bags. She tried to zip up the stuff she had in her purse too but she had too much stuff in there. I really hope she didn't steal all that crap from that big named supermarket. It was all in officially branded bags, though, which I don't think they just give those out to thieves. But you never know with people these days.\n\n\tI told the lady the fare, she paid it and she got out real quick, walked up to the steps of her apartment building and disappeared in there. I sat there waiting for a minute, got a drink of water, looked out and enjoyed the scenery a bit. Her apartment building was in downtown Buffalo near the city hall, right next to a beautiful little park. I thought about getting out of the car and sitting on one of the benches there, having a lemonade while I sit out in the springtime sunshine. But I knew I'd better not do that, because if I did, I might be down to $300 or $350 bucks that day. Maybe when I have my day off I'll come back.\n\nAnd just like that, my daydream came to an abrupt conclusion when a pedestrian came and knocked on my front passenger side window, waiving at me, irritated and trying to get my attention.\n\n\t``What's going on man? You need a ride?'' I told him. The guy said ``Yeah dude, I really need to get going, or I'm gonna be late for my date.'' ``That'll be $3 per mile'' I informed him. ``Holy shit, you guys are a ripoff. But it's fine, I'll pay whatever you want, let's just go!'' ``Alright man,'' I replied, but with the caveat ``don't blame me for the prices though, my man, because I don't set them, the union does, alright?'' ``Fine, fine!'' He agrees and I unlock the right rear passenger door for him. He's got a box of chocolates and a love letter in his hands. Tall skinny white dude, with short, curly hair that was all frizzy, wearing a black leather jacket, khaki shorts and black and white sneakers. Guy couldn't have been more than about 22 or 23 years old. I've gotten good at remembering looks. Sometimes the cops interview us about people that we give taxi rides to so I try to make a habit of remembering little details like that, at least in the short term.\n\n\tHe wants me to take him to meet this girl at the Lady Liberty bar near the edge of town, where all the big bougie houses are at. Some gal she must be, I thought. And the box of chocolates and love letter? I just had to chime in on that old trope.\n\n\tHe was anxiously texting the girl, quickly typing away. I told him ``a box of chocolates and a love letter? You might be setting yourself up for disappointment with that move, man. That's old school.''\n\n\t``Hold on, hold on man!'' He was typing, typing away still. We were stopped at the light on N. Brunswick St., and finally he responds to me, asking me to repeat what I said because he wasn't paying attention. I repeated myself, asking him why he was going with old worn out tropes to try to impress this girl. This girl who lives on the outskirts of town, where all the wealthy families live! And didn't he know that girls like that are hard to please?\n\n\tHe became so enraged by that, screamed at me ``WHAT? What do you mean it's a TROPE? DUDE, I LOVE THIS GIRL. Have you ever been in love?! HAVE YOU?!''\n\n\tSure I have, I said.\n\n\t``No dude, not like this'' he said to me. ``Your experience is nothing like mine. I want to show her that I care about her and want to impress her.''\n\n\t``Why not comb your hair, then?'' I told him. ``That would probably impress her a lot more if you didn't go see her with bed head. If she doesn't notice it, the other guys at the bar sure will. Not that it matters, but...'' I continued.\n\n\t``I don't care what anyone thinks! Just drive dude! Jesus christ.'' He said. Wouldn't be the first time I heard that one.\n\n\tI merged onto the highway, probably a little bit too fast but I didn't see a speed camera! Sometimes I don't pay much attention to the speedometer on the highway...Got in trouble a few times for that. Anyways, I decided to roll down the windows a bit because it's been nice weather out all day and despite the fact that I'm out all day driving I don't get to spend much time out in the open, it's all locked up in this car. With my GPS and fare calculator and my phone I never get a chance to check because I'm so busy.\n\n\tThat kid was looking out the window at the passing scenery, the monument valleys in the distance. After a few more exits, we pulled off the highway and that moment was over, and the kid started to look around nervously, almost trying to find inspiration and courage around him and absorb it, so it won't hurt when he gets dumped to the curb by this rich gal he's so in love with. Or maybe it will just hurt less, lessen the blow, I don't know, I can't get in his head.\n\n\tI was banking a right and about to go until the light went green for the folks coming through the same direction I was trying to go. I stomped on my brakes because I was already in the intersection just a bit too much. The kid shouted at me ``watch out, man!'' I apologized, and asked him if we were gonna make it on time to see his girlfriend. He said, begrudgingly, ``yeah...''\n\n\tOnce the gaggle of cars passed from the left, I swung out onto the road and I sped up to about 45 miles an hour. This time more exact on the speed - the main roads have way more speed cameras, cops, you name it, so I don't risk it there. The sign says 45, I go 45. I already know where we are going at this point so I just ignore the GPS by now. Another great song pops up, this time it's a tune by Bloc Party. Little Thoughts. That drummer guy really kicked ass in that song.\n\n\tMy thoughts went back for a moment to the kid in the back seat. He was still looking so unsure, and checking his phone every few seconds to see if this girl had texted him back. I reached out of my center console and gave him a comb. I lifted it over my shoulder back towards him and told him ``hey, here kid. Take this. If you comb your hair, no matter what happens you can at least you can say you tried and did the best you could.'' He sheepishly grasped at the comb with a half tucked arm and didn't say anything. ``Don't worry, kid'' I said, ``What happens today doesn't have to define the rest of your life. Maybe you'll marry this girl, or maybe you'll only meet her today and she'll be gone tomorrow. You gotta learn to live with that, kid. Be happy with who you are. Learn to soothe yourself and quiet that voice inside that makes you feel insecure about yourself.''\n\n\tThe big lanky awkward teen went to the camera app on his phone and used his front facing camera as a mirror while he quickly combed back his big frizzy curls into something approaching a presentable look. ``Hurry kid, we're just a couple blocks away'' I told him. He kicked it into overdrive and started combing very rapidly. Breathlessly.\n\n\tWe pulled up in front of the bar and I told him the fare. He paid me a good sized tip on top of that and shook my hand when he gave me the money. He thanked me for helping him out, gave me back my comb and scurried along with that awkward gait of his into the Lady Liberty bar with his box of chocolates and his little envelope sealed with a heart shaped sticker. I hope things work out for him with that gal.\n\n\t``No day but tooooodayyyyyyyy'' the singers on my stereo flourished just as I was about to drive out of the lot. The song was sung by the cast of the Broadway musical, Rent, which I loved. I reached down in the netting below the front passenger seat and grabbed my water tumbler. I unscrewed the cap and took a few large gulps, wiped off the drops of water off of my peach fuzzy face and headed out back onto Grand Ave, the main cross street of the bar. I wanted to head back to the center of downtown again, because these ritzy folks on the outskirts of town rarely need a ride - they already own several, as I'm sure you know.\n\n\tThe next 15 minutes I spent driving back into the center of town alone. I was speeding on the highway to be honest...otherwise I'm just losing money by the minute, not picking up any fares. There are no fares on the side of the highway. The whole time I had my music blasting. The music helps me stay awake and feel a sense of purpose in my day. Helps me feel like a part of the big enchilada. I'm the olives in the enchilada, the ones that the picky eaters complain to the waitress about. Little do they know that their whole dish is seasoned with olive oil anyway, so they're crying for nothing. I pulled off the highway and darted my eyes around searching for another fare.\n\n\tIt didn't take me long before I found another fare, this time before I even made it back to the main downtown area. I was in midtown on Cosgrove Ln., cross street Horton Ln., when I saw an older black man wave me down. I pulled over promptly, turning down my often salacious music so as not to offend the man and also so I could speak to him about the fare before he hopped in. ``Hey there old timer. 3 dollars a mile okay with you?'' Promptly he said yeah, and I unlocked the back door for him to hop on in. ``I want to go to the pet store, need to get some food for my cats and maybe even buy some leashes to put on my ornery grand-kids.'' The last part was a joke obviously. We laughed so hard at that I didn't even start driving yet, we sat there for like 30 seconds cracking up. Some jerk off in a big pickup truck behind me swooped around me and honked at me while I was stopped but I was having such a good time I didn't even think about it. I laughed until I went into a coughing fit and he did the same, until both of us were sounding like we're coughing up a lung.\n\n\t``Pet store it is, old timer. You don't gotta give me all that back story...'' I cackled a bit as I pulled back onto Cosgrove Ln, headed south towards the pet shop. ``Oh, is this don't ask, don't tell?'' The old black dude said, facetiously. He was a hip looking grandpa, which a skull cap, black hoodie, black jeans and some name brand cross trainer type shoes that looked very orthopedic. He was around about mid to late 60s. He had a gray goatee with a long beard that hung down to his Adam's apple. He picked his smart phone out of his front hoodie pocket, lifted the phone above his head and took a selfie. He started texting back and forth with someone. He said ``my family always gets so worried when I go out by myself. But they don't wanna drive me, either, so what the hell am I supposed to do? Call my congressman? Or congress woman, whatever. You know you gotta say all the above now or else you're a bad bad man! Right?'' I chuckled a bit at that as I was coming off a stop sign and into a slow 25mph road in the constantly congested inner city, quickly approaching the shop which was not that far from where he waived me down at. The numbers on the fare calculator kept going up pretty fast, a lot faster than they did in the old days. ``Yeah old man, I know what you're talking about. Don't talk about injustice, but just signal your virtue by saying `congress man and congress woman,' like those folks aren't the reason we're pinching pennies in the first place!'' The old man snapped back ``Ch...oh yeah, don't talk about accountability for leaders, just make sure to mention both genders and you're good man! I marched with all kinda people back in the day with the Panther Party, didn't have nothing to do with what gender you were or even if you were gay. If you were fighting for liberation, you were a comrade.''\n\n\tThe next couple of minutes were very quiet. I thought a lot about what the old timer said. Identity politics as a subterfuge to keep the people down so `the man' can rob us blind. I liked talking with that old timer. I thanked him for his business, told him his fare, he speechlessly handed me the cash, and about now I was ready to take a little break. Get some coffee or something.\n\n\tI drove a bit uptown to the Chateau, a very hoity-toity little coffee shop next to the concert hall. The kind of cafe where shy hipsters read poetry and everyone is made to sit during the performances so as not to intimidate the artists, and you are supposed to snap your fingers instead of clap to signal your approval of them. Well, there was none of that today since it's a Tuesday afternoon, so I just went right up to the counter and asked for an oatmilk latte with a bunch of sugar. I don't like to taste my coffee, I like to taste the sugar. To each their own, though.\n\n\tI took a couple of careful gulps of the latte which was still boiling hot...I've been sleepy lately. I work too much. Anyway, I sat down at a little bench outside the cafe for a few minutes, sipped my coffee, and checked my phone which didn't really have much notifications on it except for an advertisement for shoes. I need to get out more, I don't have a lot of notifications because I don't have a lot of connections. It's hard to make connections when you need to work 10-12 hours a day 5 days a week. I spend some of my weekends in this part of town, by the cafe and the concert hall. But a lot of the people around here are younger than me, I'm 40 years old and a lot of the kids over here are college students. I just want to find connections but it would feel weird talking to youngsters like that. Anyway, I'm not making excuses, I'm just tired and I don't have time for tons of fun in the sun.\n\n\tIt took me about 10 minutes to drink my coffee and while I was sitting there I sent texts to my cousin and my nephew. They're about the only ones I have much contact with. My folks are real far away, decided to join the catholic church and have been incommunicado for some time. That's part of what they make you do when you get into those convents and work for the catholic church, you're not allowed to really go contacting a bunch of people in the outside world, because a lot of the things they do they are supposed to take a vow of silence on. Whatever, I'm sure its just rosary beads and praying and confessions and all that good stuff. I don't worry about them, even if they are getting to be in their early 70s. They will contact me when they get a chance, I'm sure of it. \n\n\tI didn't get any texts back really, but I went ahead and finished my coffee and threw away the cup right next to the front door of the coffee shop. I just wanna get my shift over with, I've been out here seven and a half hours already, since eight A.M. I've got two more hours to go if I can keep getting just as many customers as I have been. \n\n\tI hopped back into the taxi. I just wanna finish my shift. I was still feeling warm inside from chugging down all that hot coffee so fast. It's starting to get a bit cold now that the sun is coming down bit by bit. I turned my tunes back on the radio so I could re-orient myself a bit. It's not natural to drive this many hours per day, but if I don't get my bills paid like for my apartment, light, heating, air, water, food, whatever man! You all know what I'm talking about. If you don't work your butt off in America, you must suffer. That's just how it is. 2 more hours or so and then I get to go home and sleep. I don't have time for much else during the week because I'm always moving, always helping another person get where they wanna go while I might also be neglecting that same path for myself, for want of time. What job can possibly I get that pays more than $400 bucks a day without going to school for another 4 years? Sometimes I have to take a step back and realized I am privileged. Our cab company does have a union, after all. They'd pay for my schooling, that's not the problem. But I don't know what I'd study, hell, not many other than the big tech companies are able to make much money these days.\n\n\tWhile I was pulling out of the big main vein of Buffalo, Grand Ave., to find something else to do with my time, I saw a woman dart our between parked cars on the left side of the road. She had her right hand raised and she was holding her kid's hand with her left. ``Can you take me home? I missed my bus and I don't feel like waiting with my kid for the next one'' she told me. She had a big tan wool coat on with a very highfalutin heather gray blouse and a matching pencil-type skirt, and some pricey black high heels which no doubt must have been painful to walk in. Possibly some kind of office policy at her job. The kid had jeans and a big snowboarder type jacket with huge fluffy boots to match. Kid must've been in kindergarten possibly, or maybe even younger. The mom was around her late 20s early 30s, and her brown hair was very curly, she might have had it permed. I'm telling you guys, I have really strong short term memory. I have to remember who I'm dealing with in case someone goes missing, or commits a crime that day that they get a cab ride from me. Speaking of which, hopefully I don't get a call from the police about that old bag lady from before. The mother buckled in her little girl and then went ahead and buckled herself. She let the girl have her phone, which she had zipped up in her purse. The girl went and started tapping away at the screen. The mom grabbed her own phone, and she was about to check it however she looked pensive, as if she wanted to ask me a question.\n\n\t``Everything okay back there you two?'' I politely inquired. ``Yeah, everything's fine...Hey, looks like you dropped your, um, eyeliner back here?'' the mother told me. ``What? I don't wear eyeliner, not that I'm saying it's bad for guys to wear eyeliner or anything but...'' I excitedly responded to her. She laughed and said ``no, it's fine. I won't tell anyone your secret.'' ``You tryin' to blackmail me, lady?'' ``No not at all... what's got you so worked up?'' she asked. I said ``Nothing, I just work too much that's all. Did you and your kid have a good day?'' to which she replied ``Yeah, I just came to get her from school but I don't have a car myself, so I usually take the bus to get here. But I'm sure glad you showed up just on time.''\n\n\t``I'm no hero, dear.'' I let her know, honestly and truthfully. But she didn't wanna let go of the `jobbing' topic, she was asking ``isn't it hard working for a yellow cab company now? Why not work for one of those Rideshare App companies?'' Oh god, another nose-y one we've got here, I thought. ``I've been doing this for 15 years, since way before people were using those ride share apps. The pay with the union is good. Union work is something to be proud of.''\n\n\t``Hmm, well, didn't you just say you were overworked?''\n\n\tShe just didn't wanna let it go.\n\n\t``No job is perfect, dear. You know that as well as I do.''\n\n\t``That's fine. As long as you're happy.'' She replied.\n\n\tIt was like she said that just because she knows I was just thinking about my unhappiness-levels. But how would she know anyway? I'm sure I give off that vibe of unhappiness involuntarily somehow. I try to spread light, but sometimes I feel a lot of darkness.\n\n\tI was driving on autopilot. This lady had thoroughly distracted me. I wasn't even looking at her in the back either, I just was thinking about our conversation. Wondering if the happiness she was talking about was truly attainable, at least in my current predicament. We had already made it from downtown to midtown, with all the nice quaint family owned shops, not far from the suburbs she wanted me to drop her off at.\n\n\tThe daughter made the decision to click the button to bring her window down. Now why that is, I'm not sure, because like I said it was already starting to get pretty chilly outside for the end of March, and I was getting concerned but didn't want to intervene. The mother, also said nothing. But that window is right behind my head, and...yeah, it was a chill on the back of your neck type moment, literally. Made me wish I brought an Ushanka or something! Jeez.\n\n\tI've experienced much worse. Besides, in a few minutes I'm just gonna close it anyway. The woman was looking at her phone again. The daughter, still glued to the phone. Me, focused on the road, sitting at a stop light at one of those busy intersections that takes freaking forever to turn green. It was at that moment I decided I'm gonna head home early. One or two more customers, and I'm gonna go home. Maybe I will make $350 or $375 bucks instead of $400 today because of it, but I want to make myself a nice dinner. Sit and watch one of those god awful slop TV shows where morons duke it out in small claims court, and maybe even a bit of the local news. Just something to quiet my mind. Ease the annoyance and discontent I'm feeling now in my life. Yep, an extra hour or an hour and a half where I can just `be' for a while.\n\n\tAfter Many many lengthy stop lights and lefts and rights and roundabouts, we pulled into the mom's neighborhood and the kid starts asking typical kid stuff, like what's for dinner, can I have some cookies after, etc. The mom clearly knew how to handle the situation, and asked the little girl what she wanted her to make her for dinner. The girl said spaghetti. ``That's easy! I'll get you 20 bowls of spaghetti. We can go and sell spaghetti on the street corner for 10 bucks a bowl and call ourselves an Italian restaurant. C'mon! Lets do it!'' ``YEAH! Spaghetti connoisseurs!'' the kid exclaimed to her mom. ``We're the spaghetti connoisseurs, that's right.'' ``Spaghetti and COOKIE connoisseurs, mommy'' the little girl replied. The mom giggled. And my deed was done. We pulled up to the curb by her house, I told her the fare, she got out and raced inside with the kid, suddenly realizing ``it sure is cold out here!'' I was thinking, yeah! It sure is cold. So why open the window? But at least she takes care of her kid. What more can you ask of her?\n\n\tAs soon as I saw them get into their house safely, I rolled up the window and turned up the heater real fast. That's another thing, if you turn on the heat when the customer opens the window, it can piss them off, so you have to train yourself not to. It goes against human nature, but it's just part of the job.\n\n Right now my feeling? I'm gonna feel a lot better when I can be home, make myself something to eat, and watch some crappy TV show and fall asleep on my recliner with a warm electric blanket. That's what I'm looking forward to now. You can't make friends in this job, it doesn't work, people come and go way too quickly for that. So it's either go out on the weekends, or maybe I'll meet a nice gal at the grocery store one day. But other than that, not much room for error in my day to day regimen.\n\n\t\tI was headed out of the suburbs, just past their local middle school which was already closed for the day. I wanted to get back to heart of downtown again, because the farther I get from there the harder it is to find a rider. Everyone in the suburbs just uses those damn ride share apps. I hope I'll be able to keep my job for a long while - I've been doing this for 15 years, I don't wanna go job hunting in my 40s, that's definitely an uphill battle if there ever was one. If I can get just one more solid fare today, I'll be happy. If not, I'm just gonna have to keep driving around looking for another fare and I won't be able to vegetate in front of the TV with my homemade mushroom pesto and garlic bread. I'll just have to stop by one of those crappy fast food places, scarf it down and hit the sack if I gotta keep driving around all day. God forbid.\n\n\tI made my way back downtown, again. Really, all those mainstream places that people like to visit in the central vein of the city are the best places to pick up fares. It's an inescapable truth. City planning at it's finest. Haves and have-nots. I see a big, tall chubby man in work slacks with his blazer jacket flapped over his shoulder start waiving me down in the financial district. He's got a dress shirt and tie, well-pleated navy blue slacks and some shiny brown penny loafers. Pale white skin. Freshly polished shoes. Well kept appearance, though the big guy was sweating up a storm, no doubt from all that walking and all those cheeseburgers he chooses to consume. I've seen this guy before but I forget his name. He works at some big tech company in the financial district of Buffalo and he's only about 4-5 years older than me. \n\n\tHe knows it all. I prefer to keep quiet when I have him in the cab, he is a real nuisance to me. ``Hey, Lavelle,'' he wheezed a bit, no doubt from all that physical exertion ``...good seeing you again.'' ``Yeah, definitely chief. You just wanna go to your place off of Holly and Madison right? You still live there?'' I wanted to make sure I had the location right. ``Yeah, I still live there. Just moved in about a year ago. We'll be here for a while. My wife just had another baby.'' ``ah, I see'' I told him. He was generally rude to me in the past, I didn't want to congratulate him for creating more facsimiles of his not-so-winning personality. No, I didn't wanna congratulate him for polluting the gene pool.\n\n\t``So, you still work for the yellow cab people? Even though they make you work such long hours?'' Not this again. This is why I hope this guy doesn't create any more children. But the evil people run the roost. The little devils run amok, the good people work themselves to death so that those people can pat themselves on the back and talk down to everyone else. ``You know I'm right, man. Just knock it off. Come work for ZZZ Best Enterprises, we have all your IT solutions in one place. I'll show you how to code self driving cab AI. You'll be the king of this town.'' I'd rather not be king of the gentiles, I thought to myself. I'd rather die than be that. \n\n\tThe sun had just started to set. Daylight savings time hasn't kicked in yet, so it's still been getting dark around 4:30-5pm around here, especially with all the big high rises and street lamps blocking out the natural light. The sunset was nice, gave me a bit of a distraction from captain smarty pants, there, no doubt a guy who didn't do well in his studies but still managed to get a high paying job at some snobby tech firm. Talked his way into it. As for me I worked my way into my job. I found out how to make it work for me. I didn't have to pull any tricks. I just work hard. Is that so evil to this guy?\n\n\t``You wanna see pictures of my new baby?'' He asked me.\n\n``What was your name again, chief?'' I wanted to know who I was gonna be tearing a new one for this evening. \n\n``Thom. It's Thom. Why come you don't remember my name? And why come you didn't come to my Christmas party I invited you to last year?''\n\n``Because you think you're better than me, Thom. You think you're better than everyone in this town.''\n\n``Hey man, what the fuck?'' He replied throatily.\n\n``You think you're better than everyone! Did you not notice that the first thing you did when you walked into my cab is criticize me? 3 dollars a mile by the way, the rates have changed--''\n\n``Rate change again? You're fucking killing me man. I just had a kid. I should've called a Rideshare company instead. My buddy is the CFO for one.''\n\n``Maybe you should try that. I'll still be getting a paycheck regardless of if your fat fucking ass gets in this car ever again or not.''\n\n``What the fuck? Hey, STOP!''\n\nI just realized in all that rage I started going at a stoplight before the guy in front of me started pulling off from it. I slammed my brakes mere millimeters behind the hybrid SUV in front of me. Those hybrid SUVs really know how to blend in the scenery. My tires didn't screech, on account of the fact that I just had the cab serviced.\n\nHe just didn't wanna shut up--``You know what your problem is, buddy? You don't get with the times. You gotta follow market forces. Follow the stock market. Don't just spend all your free time on leisure. Do you wanna be making that same salary for the rest of your life, or do you wanna move up?''\n\n``I don't care about moving up if it means I have to keep someone else down to do it.'' I was still shaking from the psychological effects of almost crashing into someone, and furious that this fat fuck was still yelling at me while I'm just taking him back home from work like the good little boy that I am. I didn't do anything to this fucking guy, but he just doesn't know when to quit. He's a rigid conformist that doesn't allow people to have their own outlook on life. It's all about his perspective. He's rich, therefore he knows it all. He's rich, therefore he must be a good man. Bull-fucking-shit.\n\n\tThom pulled out his nicotine gum and put a few pieces in his mouth. He's been wanting to quit smoking, he's told me that before. Good, I don't like the guy but I don't want him to die some slow cancerous death either. I just thought I'd let the whole thing slide, let him calm down. I deal with cranky customers every single day, I usually don't let it affect me, but he really got on my nerves.\n\n\t``I'm sorry, man.'' He said with his nicotine gum tucked into his lip. ``I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. All I'm saying is I don't know how long the yellow cab industry is gonna keep going. I worry about you. That's all.''\n\n``Well don't, you're not my dad. And I'm sure as shit not in the mood to be talked down to right now.'' I told the man firmly. He didn't say anything back, not wanting to argue the point any further either.\n\nI turned my tunes back up on the radio. The current song playing was There Is A Light That Never Goes out by the Smiths. I like the Smiths. They ``get'' me.\n\n\tWe pulled up in front of his house. I told him the fare. He paid it quickly. He walked about halfway to his front door when his wife opened the door to let him in, with the newborn baby in her arms. Thom looked back at me for a moment.\n\n\t``Hey wait, buddy!'' He shouted at me. He ran his jiggly plus-sized body back to my car. ``Here man, this is for you.'' He put his hand out like he wanted me to shake his hand, so I did. I opened up my hand and I saw a $100 bill and a $50. That would bring my total for the day from $350 to $500.\n\n``You don't have to do that, man.'' I said, dismissively.\n\n``Oh, but I do.'' He said, trying not to laugh.\n\n``Why come?'' I asked.\n\n``Because I was being a jerk earlier man. Keep your job, there's no shame in that. I don't know what I'm saying sometimes. My wife says I have a big mouth.''\n\n``You do have a big mouth.'' I said. He laughed and laughed.\n\n\tAnd that was that. I more than made my self-imposed quota for the day. And I already decided I was gonna go home early. I quietly made my way into the cabby parking zone for Buffalo Yellow Cab Services. There were still plenty of open spots because a lot of people were still out on their evening shifts. Matt and Kim's ``I'll Take Us Home'' playing on my radio. A perfect way to end the day.\n\n\tI parked, took my jacket and water bottle out of the front passenger seat, closed the door firmly and pressed the door locking button on my key fob until I heard the car horn honk back at me. Company policy.\n\n\tI went into the office and hung my key up on its designated key box, cab number #413. I put my jacket on and went through the building to the front parking lot, getting into my own car, a sporty model to be sure, definitely not an SUV and not even close to being a crossover. I had left the sunroof open by accident and the car was very cold inside. \n\n\tWhen I hopped in the car, quickly turned the knob for the heater, shut my sunroof, and hugged myself until the chill factor started to subside. Then I synced up my phone once again. Black Eyed Peas came on. I miss those guys.\n\n\tThe rest of the ride home was boring, but once I made it there I kept my promise to myself. To take care of myself. Considering no one else is here to do it for me, that's what I gotta do. I rinsed my hands and then rinsed some precut mushrooms, which I then transferred over to a sauce pan to let them sautee. Then I added my pesto sauce to the mix to let it thicken for a few minutes. I went ahead and started boiling my pasta in the meantime. Fettuccine, my favorite kind.\n\n\tI went and turned on the ``boob-tube'' real fast because I didn't wanna let my pesto sauce get too thick. I looked through the channels for a few brief moments and settled on one. Sure enough, when I came back to the kitchen my pesto was starting to get real thick so I took it off the heat and turned off the burner. I knew my pasta would take a few minutes to boil, so I went and sat down in front of the TV.\n\n\tThe newscaster woman, with her mood rings on her fingers and her Chakra crystal necklace, said ``We're all fractals of life experiencing itself subjectively, as one. We have nothing to fear because it's all just a ride. Just a cab drive. A few short moments, and it's all over. Leave a good impression, because this is it. There's nothing else. Here's Tom with the weather.'' I like this station. Always such accurate forecasts.\n\n\tThey told of the weather. Next week, `Rainy Dayz.' Another day, another dollar. Makes no difference to me. I'm just glad to be home relaxing and making myself something tasty to eat. The timer for my pasta went off, and I went and extracted the noodles from the water with tongs, letting the excess fluids drip back into the big pot, which was still boiling hot. I didn't feel like using a colander. I piled the 16 or so ounces of noodles into a big bowl. Then I started chopping the noodles with scissors, and scooped myself a human-sized serving of noodles onto a little plate, and a big ladle of the mushroom pesto sauce on top.\n\n\tI went and set my mushroom pesto pasta on the coffee table so I could go grab my heating blanket from the hall closet. I plugged it in behind my recliner, set it on my lap and it unfurled down past my shins. I lurched forward to grab my pasta, almost too far and felt like I was gonna lose my balance for a second, but luckily I didn't. Otherwise I'd spill my pesto and have to remake it. That'd piss me off. Risk getting in trouble with my boss at work just to have to remake my mushroom pesto and lose all that time!\n\n\tI gobbled down my pasta gleefully while a straight laced young man continued the forecast, speaking for all those places that are real real far from the broadcast towers. Places I've never been before. It made me feel small. But we all are. The sooner we realize it, the better. That's what I think.\n\n\tI finished my plate of pasta and then came back for seconds. By then, the hippy astrologist and the young, straight-laced astronomer had finished their local newscast and Judgemental was on. Small claims court whining at it's finest. Cracks me up to see people that are that petty. Today's episode, a woman sues her ex-roomate because she never wanted to empty the dishwasher - even worse, girlfriend ate a bunch of the plaintiff's Chinese Food she had catered to her house for her birthday. Hilarious. It took me a while to finish my second plate of food, because I just kept on laughing and laughing at these buffoons. Don't they realize that life is too short for all those petty squabbles?\n\n\tBy the time I finished my second plate, I got so sleepy. I grabbed my water thermos and chugged the rest of what I had in it. It was a huge bottle, and I still had like 20 ounces of water left in there. I set down my plate on the coffee table, being sure not to let the heating blanket fall off of me while doing so. I reclined back in the seat and lost track of time, closing my eyes and turning down the TV a bit.\n\n\tNext thing I knew, about 9 hours later, My alarm woke me up from a deep sleep. It was time to do it all over again.\n\n","writing_bbcode_parsed":"Yellow Cab Drivin'
\tI'm a taxi driver. My name is Lavelle. I'm based outta Buffalo New York and I work for the yellow cab union local no. 44. Believe it or not, us yellow cab guys are still out here making a buck.
\tLet me tell you about an average day on the job for me. Needless to say, it's pretty hectic. If I bust my butt off all day for like maybe 9-10 hours, then I can make 400 bucks a day. Now, I'm not living like a fat cat or anything, but I think that's pretty good. In case you wanted to know about what it's really like, being the fastest taxi driver in Buffalo, New York, I thought I'd tell you about what my day was like yesterday when I was on the clock.
\tI had pulled up in front of a local big name supermarket and this gal had a few bags with her, wanted me to take her home she said. I had just finished dropping off somebody else...you see, that's how it always works in the yellow cab business, we just go where we're needed and they hail us just like they do in the movies you love to watch. Just a wave is all it takes. I tell them the fare rates, and we go.
\tThis lady seemed a bit nervous. White lady, much older than me probably in her late 50s or so, wearing a cheapo purple dress and white sneakers. She hopped in the back of my cab. She had a lot of bags and it looked like she had some items stuffed into her purse as well. I didn't wanna look at her for too long, though, because I noticed her eyebrows were really off... I mean REALLY off. Not a great look. Could be she's on drugs, but I don't wanna assume she's a shoplifter. Not all drug abusers are shoplifters.
\t``Workin' for the rat race, you know you're wasting your time! Workin' for the rat race! You're no friend of mine!'' the radio blurted out my choice of tunes while I came off a stop light, headed left on LaCeinaga Ave. I struggled not to sing one of my favorite songs by The Specials while I took her wherever my GPS unit told me to go. I love my job, we get to listen to tunes, drive people wherever, get paid big bucks! Way better than those app-based taxi services, where you have to beg people to write positive reviews, beg people not to smoke in your car! Or have to check your phone all the time for fares! I hope I never have to do that.
\tI decided to look in the rear view mirror at the gal. But only through the side where I can't see her half-buzzed off eyebrow and her thin, long eyebrow both at the same time. She was looking pretty fidget-y and ansty. Her bags were chock full of an ungodly amount of what appeared to be cosmetics. I was starting to become a bit disgusted with myself. I almost hit a pedestrian because I spent too much time looking at her in my mirror. I hate it when I do that. The guy who was in the road gave me the bird, but not just any bird, I'm talking, slam your right forearm against your left elbow and unleash that actual fucker as high in the air as he could. If only he knew how hard it was to make $400 bucks a day taxi driving, he'd be leaving me roses by the stairs of my apartment. Turn the lights off, carry me home.
\tThis was it, Bordeain Ave. The gal in the back with the messed up eyebrows had been shaking and tweaking out so much that her items had started to fall out onto the seats and the carpeting. She was reaching down, trying to gather all over her stuff in her overflowing bags. She tried to zip up the stuff she had in her purse too but she had too much stuff in there. I really hope she didn't steal all that crap from that big named supermarket. It was all in officially branded bags, though, which I don't think they just give those out to thieves. But you never know with people these days.
\tI told the lady the fare, she paid it and she got out real quick, walked up to the steps of her apartment building and disappeared in there. I sat there waiting for a minute, got a drink of water, looked out and enjoyed the scenery a bit. Her apartment building was in downtown Buffalo near the city hall, right next to a beautiful little park. I thought about getting out of the car and sitting on one of the benches there, having a lemonade while I sit out in the springtime sunshine. But I knew I'd better not do that, because if I did, I might be down to $300 or $350 bucks that day. Maybe when I have my day off I'll come back.
And just like that, my daydream came to an abrupt conclusion when a pedestrian came and knocked on my front passenger side window, waiving at me, irritated and trying to get my attention.
\t``What's going on man? You need a ride?'' I told him. The guy said ``Yeah dude, I really need to get going, or I'm gonna be late for my date.'' ``That'll be $3 per mile'' I informed him. ``Holy shit, you guys are a ripoff. But it's fine, I'll pay whatever you want, let's just go!'' ``Alright man,'' I replied, but with the caveat ``don't blame me for the prices though, my man, because I don't set them, the union does, alright?'' ``Fine, fine!'' He agrees and I unlock the right rear passenger door for him. He's got a box of chocolates and a love letter in his hands. Tall skinny white dude, with short, curly hair that was all frizzy, wearing a black leather jacket, khaki shorts and black and white sneakers. Guy couldn't have been more than about 22 or 23 years old. I've gotten good at remembering looks. Sometimes the cops interview us about people that we give taxi rides to so I try to make a habit of remembering little details like that, at least in the short term.
\tHe wants me to take him to meet this girl at the Lady Liberty bar near the edge of town, where all the big bougie houses are at. Some gal she must be, I thought. And the box of chocolates and love letter? I just had to chime in on that old trope.
\tHe was anxiously texting the girl, quickly typing away. I told him ``a box of chocolates and a love letter? You might be setting yourself up for disappointment with that move, man. That's old school.''
\t``Hold on, hold on man!'' He was typing, typing away still. We were stopped at the light on N. Brunswick St., and finally he responds to me, asking me to repeat what I said because he wasn't paying attention. I repeated myself, asking him why he was going with old worn out tropes to try to impress this girl. This girl who lives on the outskirts of town, where all the wealthy families live! And didn't he know that girls like that are hard to please?
\tHe became so enraged by that, screamed at me ``WHAT? What do you mean it's a TROPE? DUDE, I LOVE THIS GIRL. Have you ever been in love?! HAVE YOU?!''
\tSure I have, I said.
\t``No dude, not like this'' he said to me. ``Your experience is nothing like mine. I want to show her that I care about her and want to impress her.''
\t``Why not comb your hair, then?'' I told him. ``That would probably impress her a lot more if you didn't go see her with bed head. If she doesn't notice it, the other guys at the bar sure will. Not that it matters, but...'' I continued.
\t``I don't care what anyone thinks! Just drive dude! Jesus christ.'' He said. Wouldn't be the first time I heard that one.
\tI merged onto the highway, probably a little bit too fast but I didn't see a speed camera! Sometimes I don't pay much attention to the speedometer on the highway...Got in trouble a few times for that. Anyways, I decided to roll down the windows a bit because it's been nice weather out all day and despite the fact that I'm out all day driving I don't get to spend much time out in the open, it's all locked up in this car. With my GPS and fare calculator and my phone I never get a chance to check because I'm so busy.
\tThat kid was looking out the window at the passing scenery, the monument valleys in the distance. After a few more exits, we pulled off the highway and that moment was over, and the kid started to look around nervously, almost trying to find inspiration and courage around him and absorb it, so it won't hurt when he gets dumped to the curb by this rich gal he's so in love with. Or maybe it will just hurt less, lessen the blow, I don't know, I can't get in his head.
\tI was banking a right and about to go until the light went green for the folks coming through the same direction I was trying to go. I stomped on my brakes because I was already in the intersection just a bit too much. The kid shouted at me ``watch out, man!'' I apologized, and asked him if we were gonna make it on time to see his girlfriend. He said, begrudgingly, ``yeah...''
\tOnce the gaggle of cars passed from the left, I swung out onto the road and I sped up to about 45 miles an hour. This time more exact on the speed - the main roads have way more speed cameras, cops, you name it, so I don't risk it there. The sign says 45, I go 45. I already know where we are going at this point so I just ignore the GPS by now. Another great song pops up, this time it's a tune by Bloc Party. Little Thoughts. That drummer guy really kicked ass in that song.
\tMy thoughts went back for a moment to the kid in the back seat. He was still looking so unsure, and checking his phone every few seconds to see if this girl had texted him back. I reached out of my center console and gave him a comb. I lifted it over my shoulder back towards him and told him ``hey, here kid. Take this. If you comb your hair, no matter what happens you can at least you can say you tried and did the best you could.'' He sheepishly grasped at the comb with a half tucked arm and didn't say anything. ``Don't worry, kid'' I said, ``What happens today doesn't have to define the rest of your life. Maybe you'll marry this girl, or maybe you'll only meet her today and she'll be gone tomorrow. You gotta learn to live with that, kid. Be happy with who you are. Learn to soothe yourself and quiet that voice inside that makes you feel insecure about yourself.''
\tThe big lanky awkward teen went to the camera app on his phone and used his front facing camera as a mirror while he quickly combed back his big frizzy curls into something approaching a presentable look. ``Hurry kid, we're just a couple blocks away'' I told him. He kicked it into overdrive and started combing very rapidly. Breathlessly.
\tWe pulled up in front of the bar and I told him the fare. He paid me a good sized tip on top of that and shook my hand when he gave me the money. He thanked me for helping him out, gave me back my comb and scurried along with that awkward gait of his into the Lady Liberty bar with his box of chocolates and his little envelope sealed with a heart shaped sticker. I hope things work out for him with that gal.
\t``No day but tooooodayyyyyyyy'' the singers on my stereo flourished just as I was about to drive out of the lot. The song was sung by the cast of the Broadway musical, Rent, which I loved. I reached down in the netting below the front passenger seat and grabbed my water tumbler. I unscrewed the cap and took a few large gulps, wiped off the drops of water off of my peach fuzzy face and headed out back onto Grand Ave, the main cross street of the bar. I wanted to head back to the center of downtown again, because these ritzy folks on the outskirts of town rarely need a ride - they already own several, as I'm sure you know.
\tThe next 15 minutes I spent driving back into the center of town alone. I was speeding on the highway to be honest...otherwise I'm just losing money by the minute, not picking up any fares. There are no fares on the side of the highway. The whole time I had my music blasting. The music helps me stay awake and feel a sense of purpose in my day. Helps me feel like a part of the big enchilada. I'm the olives in the enchilada, the ones that the picky eaters complain to the waitress about. Little do they know that their whole dish is seasoned with olive oil anyway, so they're crying for nothing. I pulled off the highway and darted my eyes around searching for another fare.
\tIt didn't take me long before I found another fare, this time before I even made it back to the main downtown area. I was in midtown on Cosgrove Ln., cross street Horton Ln., when I saw an older black man wave me down. I pulled over promptly, turning down my often salacious music so as not to offend the man and also so I could speak to him about the fare before he hopped in. ``Hey there old timer. 3 dollars a mile okay with you?'' Promptly he said yeah, and I unlocked the back door for him to hop on in. ``I want to go to the pet store, need to get some food for my cats and maybe even buy some leashes to put on my ornery grand-kids.'' The last part was a joke obviously. We laughed so hard at that I didn't even start driving yet, we sat there for like 30 seconds cracking up. Some jerk off in a big pickup truck behind me swooped around me and honked at me while I was stopped but I was having such a good time I didn't even think about it. I laughed until I went into a coughing fit and he did the same, until both of us were sounding like we're coughing up a lung.
\t``Pet store it is, old timer. You don't gotta give me all that back story...'' I cackled a bit as I pulled back onto Cosgrove Ln, headed south towards the pet shop. ``Oh, is this don't ask, don't tell?'' The old black dude said, facetiously. He was a hip looking grandpa, which a skull cap, black hoodie, black jeans and some name brand cross trainer type shoes that looked very orthopedic. He was around about mid to late 60s. He had a gray goatee with a long beard that hung down to his Adam's apple. He picked his smart phone out of his front hoodie pocket, lifted the phone above his head and took a selfie. He started texting back and forth with someone. He said ``my family always gets so worried when I go out by myself. But they don't wanna drive me, either, so what the hell am I supposed to do? Call my congressman? Or congress woman, whatever. You know you gotta say all the above now or else you're a bad bad man! Right?'' I chuckled a bit at that as I was coming off a stop sign and into a slow 25mph road in the constantly congested inner city, quickly approaching the shop which was not that far from where he waived me down at. The numbers on the fare calculator kept going up pretty fast, a lot faster than they did in the old days. ``Yeah old man, I know what you're talking about. Don't talk about injustice, but just signal your virtue by saying `congress man and congress woman,' like those folks aren't the reason we're pinching pennies in the first place!'' The old man snapped back ``Ch...oh yeah, don't talk about accountability for leaders, just make sure to mention both genders and you're good man! I marched with all kinda people back in the day with the Panther Party, didn't have nothing to do with what gender you were or even if you were gay. If you were fighting for liberation, you were a comrade.''
\tThe next couple of minutes were very quiet. I thought a lot about what the old timer said. Identity politics as a subterfuge to keep the people down so `the man' can rob us blind. I liked talking with that old timer. I thanked him for his business, told him his fare, he speechlessly handed me the cash, and about now I was ready to take a little break. Get some coffee or something.
\tI drove a bit uptown to the Chateau, a very hoity-toity little coffee shop next to the concert hall. The kind of cafe where shy hipsters read poetry and everyone is made to sit during the performances so as not to intimidate the artists, and you are supposed to snap your fingers instead of clap to signal your approval of them. Well, there was none of that today since it's a Tuesday afternoon, so I just went right up to the counter and asked for an oatmilk latte with a bunch of sugar. I don't like to taste my coffee, I like to taste the sugar. To each their own, though.
\tI took a couple of careful gulps of the latte which was still boiling hot...I've been sleepy lately. I work too much. Anyway, I sat down at a little bench outside the cafe for a few minutes, sipped my coffee, and checked my phone which didn't really have much notifications on it except for an advertisement for shoes. I need to get out more, I don't have a lot of notifications because I don't have a lot of connections. It's hard to make connections when you need to work 10-12 hours a day 5 days a week. I spend some of my weekends in this part of town, by the cafe and the concert hall. But a lot of the people around here are younger than me, I'm 40 years old and a lot of the kids over here are college students. I just want to find connections but it would feel weird talking to youngsters like that. Anyway, I'm not making excuses, I'm just tired and I don't have time for tons of fun in the sun.
\tIt took me about 10 minutes to drink my coffee and while I was sitting there I sent texts to my cousin and my nephew. They're about the only ones I have much contact with. My folks are real far away, decided to join the catholic church and have been incommunicado for some time. That's part of what they make you do when you get into those convents and work for the catholic church, you're not allowed to really go contacting a bunch of people in the outside world, because a lot of the things they do they are supposed to take a vow of silence on. Whatever, I'm sure its just rosary beads and praying and confessions and all that good stuff. I don't worry about them, even if they are getting to be in their early 70s. They will contact me when they get a chance, I'm sure of it.
\tI didn't get any texts back really, but I went ahead and finished my coffee and threw away the cup right next to the front door of the coffee shop. I just wanna get my shift over with, I've been out here seven and a half hours already, since eight A.M. I've got two more hours to go if I can keep getting just as many customers as I have been.
\tI hopped back into the taxi. I just wanna finish my shift. I was still feeling warm inside from chugging down all that hot coffee so fast. It's starting to get a bit cold now that the sun is coming down bit by bit. I turned my tunes back on the radio so I could re-orient myself a bit. It's not natural to drive this many hours per day, but if I don't get my bills paid like for my apartment, light, heating, air, water, food, whatever man! You all know what I'm talking about. If you don't work your butt off in America, you must suffer. That's just how it is. 2 more hours or so and then I get to go home and sleep. I don't have time for much else during the week because I'm always moving, always helping another person get where they wanna go while I might also be neglecting that same path for myself, for want of time. What job can possibly I get that pays more than $400 bucks a day without going to school for another 4 years? Sometimes I have to take a step back and realized I am privileged. Our cab company does have a union, after all. They'd pay for my schooling, that's not the problem. But I don't know what I'd study, hell, not many other than the big tech companies are able to make much money these days.
\tWhile I was pulling out of the big main vein of Buffalo, Grand Ave., to find something else to do with my time, I saw a woman dart our between parked cars on the left side of the road. She had her right hand raised and she was holding her kid's hand with her left. ``Can you take me home? I missed my bus and I don't feel like waiting with my kid for the next one'' she told me. She had a big tan wool coat on with a very highfalutin heather gray blouse and a matching pencil-type skirt, and some pricey black high heels which no doubt must have been painful to walk in. Possibly some kind of office policy at her job. The kid had jeans and a big snowboarder type jacket with huge fluffy boots to match. Kid must've been in kindergarten possibly, or maybe even younger. The mom was around her late 20s early 30s, and her brown hair was very curly, she might have had it permed. I'm telling you guys, I have really strong short term memory. I have to remember who I'm dealing with in case someone goes missing, or commits a crime that day that they get a cab ride from me. Speaking of which, hopefully I don't get a call from the police about that old bag lady from before. The mother buckled in her little girl and then went ahead and buckled herself. She let the girl have her phone, which she had zipped up in her purse. The girl went and started tapping away at the screen. The mom grabbed her own phone, and she was about to check it however she looked pensive, as if she wanted to ask me a question.
\t``Everything okay back there you two?'' I politely inquired. ``Yeah, everything's fine...Hey, looks like you dropped your, um, eyeliner back here?'' the mother told me. ``What? I don't wear eyeliner, not that I'm saying it's bad for guys to wear eyeliner or anything but...'' I excitedly responded to her. She laughed and said ``no, it's fine. I won't tell anyone your secret.'' ``You tryin' to blackmail me, lady?'' ``No not at all... what's got you so worked up?'' she asked. I said ``Nothing, I just work too much that's all. Did you and your kid have a good day?'' to which she replied ``Yeah, I just came to get her from school but I don't have a car myself, so I usually take the bus to get here. But I'm sure glad you showed up just on time.''
\t``I'm no hero, dear.'' I let her know, honestly and truthfully. But she didn't wanna let go of the `jobbing' topic, she was asking ``isn't it hard working for a yellow cab company now? Why not work for one of those Rideshare App companies?'' Oh god, another nose-y one we've got here, I thought. ``I've been doing this for 15 years, since way before people were using those ride share apps. The pay with the union is good. Union work is something to be proud of.''
\t``Hmm, well, didn't you just say you were overworked?''
\tShe just didn't wanna let it go.
\t``No job is perfect, dear. You know that as well as I do.''
\t``That's fine. As long as you're happy.'' She replied.
\tIt was like she said that just because she knows I was just thinking about my unhappiness-levels. But how would she know anyway? I'm sure I give off that vibe of unhappiness involuntarily somehow. I try to spread light, but sometimes I feel a lot of darkness.
\tI was driving on autopilot. This lady had thoroughly distracted me. I wasn't even looking at her in the back either, I just was thinking about our conversation. Wondering if the happiness she was talking about was truly attainable, at least in my current predicament. We had already made it from downtown to midtown, with all the nice quaint family owned shops, not far from the suburbs she wanted me to drop her off at.
\tThe daughter made the decision to click the button to bring her window down. Now why that is, I'm not sure, because like I said it was already starting to get pretty chilly outside for the end of March, and I was getting concerned but didn't want to intervene. The mother, also said nothing. But that window is right behind my head, and...yeah, it was a chill on the back of your neck type moment, literally. Made me wish I brought an Ushanka or something! Jeez.
\tI've experienced much worse. Besides, in a few minutes I'm just gonna close it anyway. The woman was looking at her phone again. The daughter, still glued to the phone. Me, focused on the road, sitting at a stop light at one of those busy intersections that takes freaking forever to turn green. It was at that moment I decided I'm gonna head home early. One or two more customers, and I'm gonna go home. Maybe I will make $350 or $375 bucks instead of $400 today because of it, but I want to make myself a nice dinner. Sit and watch one of those god awful slop TV shows where morons duke it out in small claims court, and maybe even a bit of the local news. Just something to quiet my mind. Ease the annoyance and discontent I'm feeling now in my life. Yep, an extra hour or an hour and a half where I can just `be' for a while.
\tAfter Many many lengthy stop lights and lefts and rights and roundabouts, we pulled into the mom's neighborhood and the kid starts asking typical kid stuff, like what's for dinner, can I have some cookies after, etc. The mom clearly knew how to handle the situation, and asked the little girl what she wanted her to make her for dinner. The girl said spaghetti. ``That's easy! I'll get you 20 bowls of spaghetti. We can go and sell spaghetti on the street corner for 10 bucks a bowl and call ourselves an Italian restaurant. C'mon! Lets do it!'' ``YEAH! Spaghetti connoisseurs!'' the kid exclaimed to her mom. ``We're the spaghetti connoisseurs, that's right.'' ``Spaghetti and COOKIE connoisseurs, mommy'' the little girl replied. The mom giggled. And my deed was done. We pulled up to the curb by her house, I told her the fare, she got out and raced inside with the kid, suddenly realizing ``it sure is cold out here!'' I was thinking, yeah! It sure is cold. So why open the window? But at least she takes care of her kid. What more can you ask of her?
\tAs soon as I saw them get into their house safely, I rolled up the window and turned up the heater real fast. That's another thing, if you turn on the heat when the customer opens the window, it can piss them off, so you have to train yourself not to. It goes against human nature, but it's just part of the job.
Right now my feeling? I'm gonna feel a lot better when I can be home, make myself something to eat, and watch some crappy TV show and fall asleep on my recliner with a warm electric blanket. That's what I'm looking forward to now. You can't make friends in this job, it doesn't work, people come and go way too quickly for that. So it's either go out on the weekends, or maybe I'll meet a nice gal at the grocery store one day. But other than that, not much room for error in my day to day regimen.
\t\tI was headed out of the suburbs, just past their local middle school which was already closed for the day. I wanted to get back to heart of downtown again, because the farther I get from there the harder it is to find a rider. Everyone in the suburbs just uses those damn ride share apps. I hope I'll be able to keep my job for a long while - I've been doing this for 15 years, I don't wanna go job hunting in my 40s, that's definitely an uphill battle if there ever was one. If I can get just one more solid fare today, I'll be happy. If not, I'm just gonna have to keep driving around looking for another fare and I won't be able to vegetate in front of the TV with my homemade mushroom pesto and garlic bread. I'll just have to stop by one of those crappy fast food places, scarf it down and hit the sack if I gotta keep driving around all day. God forbid.
\tI made my way back downtown, again. Really, all those mainstream places that people like to visit in the central vein of the city are the best places to pick up fares. It's an inescapable truth. City planning at it's finest. Haves and have-nots. I see a big, tall chubby man in work slacks with his blazer jacket flapped over his shoulder start waiving me down in the financial district. He's got a dress shirt and tie, well-pleated navy blue slacks and some shiny brown penny loafers. Pale white skin. Freshly polished shoes. Well kept appearance, though the big guy was sweating up a storm, no doubt from all that walking and all those cheeseburgers he chooses to consume. I've seen this guy before but I forget his name. He works at some big tech company in the financial district of Buffalo and he's only about 4-5 years older than me.
\tHe knows it all. I prefer to keep quiet when I have him in the cab, he is a real nuisance to me. ``Hey, Lavelle,'' he wheezed a bit, no doubt from all that physical exertion ``...good seeing you again.'' ``Yeah, definitely chief. You just wanna go to your place off of Holly and Madison right? You still live there?'' I wanted to make sure I had the location right. ``Yeah, I still live there. Just moved in about a year ago. We'll be here for a while. My wife just had another baby.'' ``ah, I see'' I told him. He was generally rude to me in the past, I didn't want to congratulate him for creating more facsimiles of his not-so-winning personality. No, I didn't wanna congratulate him for polluting the gene pool.
\t``So, you still work for the yellow cab people? Even though they make you work such long hours?'' Not this again. This is why I hope this guy doesn't create any more children. But the evil people run the roost. The little devils run amok, the good people work themselves to death so that those people can pat themselves on the back and talk down to everyone else. ``You know I'm right, man. Just knock it off. Come work for ZZZ Best Enterprises, we have all your IT solutions in one place. I'll show you how to code self driving cab AI. You'll be the king of this town.'' I'd rather not be king of the gentiles, I thought to myself. I'd rather die than be that.
\tThe sun had just started to set. Daylight savings time hasn't kicked in yet, so it's still been getting dark around 4:30-5pm around here, especially with all the big high rises and street lamps blocking out the natural light. The sunset was nice, gave me a bit of a distraction from captain smarty pants, there, no doubt a guy who didn't do well in his studies but still managed to get a high paying job at some snobby tech firm. Talked his way into it. As for me I worked my way into my job. I found out how to make it work for me. I didn't have to pull any tricks. I just work hard. Is that so evil to this guy?
\t``You wanna see pictures of my new baby?'' He asked me.
``What was your name again, chief?'' I wanted to know who I was gonna be tearing a new one for this evening.
``Thom. It's Thom. Why come you don't remember my name? And why come you didn't come to my Christmas party I invited you to last year?''
``Because you think you're better than me, Thom. You think you're better than everyone in this town.''
``Hey man, what the fuck?'' He replied throatily.
``You think you're better than everyone! Did you not notice that the first thing you did when you walked into my cab is criticize me? 3 dollars a mile by the way, the rates have changed--''
``Rate change again? You're fucking killing me man. I just had a kid. I should've called a Rideshare company instead. My buddy is the CFO for one.''
``Maybe you should try that. I'll still be getting a paycheck regardless of if your fat fucking ass gets in this car ever again or not.''
``What the fuck? Hey, STOP!''
I just realized in all that rage I started going at a stoplight before the guy in front of me started pulling off from it. I slammed my brakes mere millimeters behind the hybrid SUV in front of me. Those hybrid SUVs really know how to blend in the scenery. My tires didn't screech, on account of the fact that I just had the cab serviced.
He just didn't wanna shut up--``You know what your problem is, buddy? You don't get with the times. You gotta follow market forces. Follow the stock market. Don't just spend all your free time on leisure. Do you wanna be making that same salary for the rest of your life, or do you wanna move up?''
``I don't care about moving up if it means I have to keep someone else down to do it.'' I was still shaking from the psychological effects of almost crashing into someone, and furious that this fat fuck was still yelling at me while I'm just taking him back home from work like the good little boy that I am. I didn't do anything to this fucking guy, but he just doesn't know when to quit. He's a rigid conformist that doesn't allow people to have their own outlook on life. It's all about his perspective. He's rich, therefore he knows it all. He's rich, therefore he must be a good man. Bull-fucking-shit.
\tThom pulled out his nicotine gum and put a few pieces in his mouth. He's been wanting to quit smoking, he's told me that before. Good, I don't like the guy but I don't want him to die some slow cancerous death either. I just thought I'd let the whole thing slide, let him calm down. I deal with cranky customers every single day, I usually don't let it affect me, but he really got on my nerves.
\t``I'm sorry, man.'' He said with his nicotine gum tucked into his lip. ``I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. All I'm saying is I don't know how long the yellow cab industry is gonna keep going. I worry about you. That's all.''
``Well don't, you're not my dad. And I'm sure as shit not in the mood to be talked down to right now.'' I told the man firmly. He didn't say anything back, not wanting to argue the point any further either.
I turned my tunes back up on the radio. The current song playing was There Is A Light That Never Goes out by the Smiths. I like the Smiths. They ``get'' me.
\tWe pulled up in front of his house. I told him the fare. He paid it quickly. He walked about halfway to his front door when his wife opened the door to let him in, with the newborn baby in her arms. Thom looked back at me for a moment.
\t``Hey wait, buddy!'' He shouted at me. He ran his jiggly plus-sized body back to my car. ``Here man, this is for you.'' He put his hand out like he wanted me to shake his hand, so I did. I opened up my hand and I saw a $100 bill and a $50. That would bring my total for the day from $350 to $500.
``You don't have to do that, man.'' I said, dismissively.
``Oh, but I do.'' He said, trying not to laugh.
``Why come?'' I asked.
``Because I was being a jerk earlier man. Keep your job, there's no shame in that. I don't know what I'm saying sometimes. My wife says I have a big mouth.''
``You do have a big mouth.'' I said. He laughed and laughed.
\tAnd that was that. I more than made my self-imposed quota for the day. And I already decided I was gonna go home early. I quietly made my way into the cabby parking zone for Buffalo Yellow Cab Services. There were still plenty of open spots because a lot of people were still out on their evening shifts. Matt and Kim's ``I'll Take Us Home'' playing on my radio. A perfect way to end the day.
\tI parked, took my jacket and water bottle out of the front passenger seat, closed the door firmly and pressed the door locking button on my key fob until I heard the car horn honk back at me. Company policy.
\tI went into the office and hung my key up on its designated key box, cab number #413. I put my jacket on and went through the building to the front parking lot, getting into my own car, a sporty model to be sure, definitely not an SUV and not even close to being a crossover. I had left the sunroof open by accident and the car was very cold inside.
\tWhen I hopped in the car, quickly turned the knob for the heater, shut my sunroof, and hugged myself until the chill factor started to subside. Then I synced up my phone once again. Black Eyed Peas came on. I miss those guys.
\tThe rest of the ride home was boring, but once I made it there I kept my promise to myself. To take care of myself. Considering no one else is here to do it for me, that's what I gotta do. I rinsed my hands and then rinsed some precut mushrooms, which I then transferred over to a sauce pan to let them sautee. Then I added my pesto sauce to the mix to let it thicken for a few minutes. I went ahead and started boiling my pasta in the meantime. Fettuccine, my favorite kind.
\tI went and turned on the ``boob-tube'' real fast because I didn't wanna let my pesto sauce get too thick. I looked through the channels for a few brief moments and settled on one. Sure enough, when I came back to the kitchen my pesto was starting to get real thick so I took it off the heat and turned off the burner. I knew my pasta would take a few minutes to boil, so I went and sat down in front of the TV.
\tThe newscaster woman, with her mood rings on her fingers and her Chakra crystal necklace, said ``We're all fractals of life experiencing itself subjectively, as one. We have nothing to fear because it's all just a ride. Just a cab drive. A few short moments, and it's all over. Leave a good impression, because this is it. There's nothing else. Here's Tom with the weather.'' I like this station. Always such accurate forecasts.
\tThey told of the weather. Next week, `Rainy Dayz.' Another day, another dollar. Makes no difference to me. I'm just glad to be home relaxing and making myself something tasty to eat. The timer for my pasta went off, and I went and extracted the noodles from the water with tongs, letting the excess fluids drip back into the big pot, which was still boiling hot. I didn't feel like using a colander. I piled the 16 or so ounces of noodles into a big bowl. Then I started chopping the noodles with scissors, and scooped myself a human-sized serving of noodles onto a little plate, and a big ladle of the mushroom pesto sauce on top.
\tI went and set my mushroom pesto pasta on the coffee table so I could go grab my heating blanket from the hall closet. I plugged it in behind my recliner, set it on my lap and it unfurled down past my shins. I lurched forward to grab my pasta, almost too far and felt like I was gonna lose my balance for a second, but luckily I didn't. Otherwise I'd spill my pesto and have to remake it. That'd piss me off. Risk getting in trouble with my boss at work just to have to remake my mushroom pesto and lose all that time!
\tI gobbled down my pasta gleefully while a straight laced young man continued the forecast, speaking for all those places that are real real far from the broadcast towers. Places I've never been before. It made me feel small. But we all are. The sooner we realize it, the better. That's what I think.
\tI finished my plate of pasta and then came back for seconds. By then, the hippy astrologist and the young, straight-laced astronomer had finished their local newscast and Judgemental was on. Small claims court whining at it's finest. Cracks me up to see people that are that petty. Today's episode, a woman sues her ex-roomate because she never wanted to empty the dishwasher - even worse, girlfriend ate a bunch of the plaintiff's Chinese Food she had catered to her house for her birthday. Hilarious. It took me a while to finish my second plate of food, because I just kept on laughing and laughing at these buffoons. Don't they realize that life is too short for all those petty squabbles?
\tBy the time I finished my second plate, I got so sleepy. I grabbed my water thermos and chugged the rest of what I had in it. It was a huge bottle, and I still had like 20 ounces of water left in there. I set down my plate on the coffee table, being sure not to let the heating blanket fall off of me while doing so. I reclined back in the seat and lost track of time, closing my eyes and turning down the TV a bit.
\tNext thing I knew, about 9 hours later, My alarm woke me up from a deep sleep. It was time to do it all over again.
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