The Lunch Lady’s Revenge






        Max rolled through the hall bumping a few students along the way. His skateboard made several clicking noises as he rolled down the linoleum of the hallway and into the cafeteria. It was empty for the most part. A few folding tables had been put out and some food had been placed on the salad bar. Zooming and not caring about others, he jumped and did a small grind on the small ledge for the stage and hit a bump. 


        The small divot in the stage sent Max flying to the ground and his skateboard into the salad bar. Meatballs went flying all over the ground. It was chaos as they all landed and made a huge mess. Max landed like most mustelids do, in a noodly mess but uninjured. He looked over to see the mess he had made. “Fuck Tards!” yelled Max as he got up.  He scurried over to try and get his skateboard, but it was too late.


        A large and rather busty lady came out from the kitchen area. “Oh No, I Didn’t Just Hear What I Thought I Heard.” Deloris the lunch lady came strutting out looking for the culprate. She knew there was trouble, and it sounded like that pine marten Max. She stomped her large hyena paws causing the ground to tremble before her. 


        She saw the skateboard and looked at the spilled food. Max had slinked over and was almost to his board. Deloris’s huge hyena hand came down and scruffed Max. Instinctively Max started to fight the tight immovable grip Deloris had on him. “ Let me go Bitch Tits.”


“You need some manners boy, and you’re gonna replace the food you just destroyed.”  Deloris marched Max back into the kitchen, stopping in front of a metal cutting table. She grabbed Max’s pants and pulled them off in one go. Max gasped as he was relieved of his pants. The teens large orange sized balls flopped out, his sheath sagged over them. Deloris dropped the shorts onto the ground and grabbed Max by the balls. They were pulled to the bottom of the sack becoming tight as she held the boy firmly. 


“Hands Off Saggy Tits… ” Max squealed as a good stab of pain came from his balls. Deloris let go of Max’s  nape and let him dangle by the sack. Having a hand free she grabbed a large cleaver and with a quick Whack on the cutting board separated the pine marten from his balls. 
Max let out a yelp as his former meatballs went rolling onto the table. Max flopped to the floor and covered his remaining parts. “Make yourself useful boi and go clean up that mess.  If you don’t I’ll be making sausage too.” Deloris barked at the young marten. Max simply looked up and nodded.  “Yes Mam.” and scurried to his pants and went to go clean up the mess he had made.


Deloris removed the furred sack, exposing the two large oysters,  she took them over to the sink to wash them, the cold water splashed over them rinsing the outer juices from them. Having cleaned them she moved over to some breading and coated the oysters in it, as well as adding some seasoning to the breading.  


It was a few paces to the deep fryer where Deloris placed them into a frying basket and into the oil.  It made a frying hiss as the balls deep fried in the oil. It wasn’t long before they were finished. She fixed them on a plate and came out to see how Max was doing.  


The mess had been cleaned up and the salad bar was just how it should be. Max was putting the last bits in the trash. Deloris put the fried oysters on the salad bar.  They sat there nicely for the next student to eat. “Well looks like you got this cleaned up. Did ya learn your lesson boi?”  Max blushed and looked a bit embarrassed. “Yes mam, sorry mam. It won’t happen again.”


“Good, now get back to class.” Deloris barked and dismissed Max. The marten scurried off to his next class just in time for the next lunch session to come in. A younger student, a fox racoon hybrid, picked up the oysters for his lunch. “Oh I’ve never seen these before. They look a little familiar tho.” said the foon as he went off to eat his lunch, none the wiser. 


The End.