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"description_bbcode_parsed": "I'm afraid of hugging someone... I used to be called a tease because I wanted to be affectionate.. I forgot how to feel safe in anyone's arms...I'm afraid to kiss because all of a sudden... I've produced a sensual reaction..I..I don't want that..
...I'm afraid of attaching to people because no one has stayed with me long enough to truly feel that safety. They just..g-go away eventually you know..? They stop talking or...or they say I'm just not that fun of a person..to be with.....I'm..eh..scared..
I do my best though..I really do... whether I'm told how good or bad I am, how loved or hated I'll be...I do my best because I want you to be the one..smiling for us today.
When I'm told...I'm loved.. I fidget.. I smile and I begin to shake a little. I nod my head and want to say so truly " I love you too. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it! " but..I just sort of mumble out.. " likewise" ...I've always been a bit timid..guess it got worse..
...When I did those commissions..some people were really nice...encouraging... I don't talk to people often so..I'll tell you something...
..Whenever I did these commission events..I always chose something for each and every one of you..crafted from my emotions, my feelings, my genuine heart....and then...people started to say how terrible it was...how off I was..how they didn't want the masks or the shapes or the colors and...I felt heart broken...I crept away and..did my best...
I felt...like...no one cared again...not about me..not what I saw..not what I felt...
....they just wanted to see themselves................and I felt so alone again........oh..heh..
..I'm crying again...I just need time...like always...I'll be here.
Some may say I'm melodramatic...but I'm just me...heh...just like you're just you...
Hey...don't let anyone ever make you feel like your feelings are invalid...or just nonsense...
Maybe like you...they need more love in their heart...do your best...I know we will together in the end.",
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