\n\t\t\t\t\tUkent who nailed it perfectly. Second version contains bling. The below excerpt is written by me. Tell me you don't hear it in their voices =P---------
"Oh yea, always knew Cooper bro wanted to get jiggy with the reptile with style."
I rolled my eyes. Sure, Dimitri's, ah, unique choice of words were as strange as ever, but I hadn't been laid in weeks and the urge was getting to me. A raccoon can only take so much work without a little play, right? And our newest member to the gang had always been pretty open with, well, just about everything. "I just asked if you wanted to have sex, Dimitri."
"Just sex?" The tall iguana only grew more spirited, bending over with a long curving grin as the obscene number of gold trinkets around his neck clattered together. "My main man Sly, it's never just sex with the fabulous Dimitri. No, no, no. It's about minds warping, bombs dropping, and groove cats getting the funky juices flowing, you dig?!"
I really didn't want to try and imagine whatever mental image he'd just painted, but I'd be lying if I said the proposition of a wild night wasn't getting my own... funky juices flowing.
Yea, I'm glad I hadn't said that out loud.
"Okay, okay. If that's what you want to call it. But I think you'd be better off showing me." I knew stroking his ego was the fastest way to get things moving along - this was Dimitri, after all. Hopefully, I'd be stroking something else pretty soon.
"Okay, bro. Your place or Dimitri's?"
Since the lean lizard was still bent in my direction, I whispered an idea into his ear. The devious smile it plastered onto his purple snout told me he was -in Dimitri terms- 'down with it, for sure'. Murray had dragged Bentley off to a movie, anyway; they'd be gone long enough.
"Oh, crackerbox, you're really living up to that greasy sweet name of yours. Come on. Dimitri's gonna show you his fave number, and it's right smack dab in the middle of sixty-eight and seventy."
I smiled, letting the confident reptile lead me by the wrist in the direction of the van. Carmelita would kill me if she found out about this. Or maybe she'd managed to bug our car again and was about to get an earful. Maybe she'd already listened in on the last few guys I'd been with - now that's a thought. Either way, my mouth was craving something big, thick, and purple, and Dimitri was already unzipping. I guess it was about time to show him how a thief makes some things disappear.