{ "submission_id": "1570593", "keywords": [ { "keyword_id": "457", "keyword_name": "lyrics", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "364" }, { "keyword_id": "13177", "keyword_name": "poetry", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "863" }, { "keyword_id": "12567", "keyword_name": "rap", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "160" }, { "keyword_id": "408266", "keyword_name": "slam poetry", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "1" }, { "keyword_id": "7782", "keyword_name": "trust", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "355" } ], "hidden": "f", "scraps": "t", "favorite": "f", "favorites_count": "1", "create_datetime": "2018-03-23 16:51:30.346843+00", "create_datetime_usertime": "23 Mar 2018 17:51 CET", "last_file_update_datetime": "2018-03-23 16:47:07.928651+00", "last_file_update_datetime_usertime": "23 Mar 2018 17:47 CET", "username": "Serrano", "user_id": "461579", "user_icon_file_name": "136516_Serrano_serrano--profile-01.jpg", "user_icon_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/large/136/136516_Serrano_serrano--profile-01.jpg", "user_icon_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/medium/136/136516_Serrano_serrano--profile-01.jpg", "user_icon_url_small": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/small/136/136516_Serrano_serrano--profile-01.jpg", "file_name": "2231658_Serrano_trust_me.rtf", "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/2231/2231658_Serrano_trust_me.rtf", "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/2231/2231658_Serrano_trust_me.rtf", "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/2231/2231658_Serrano_trust_me.rtf", "files": [ { "file_id": "2231658", "file_name": "2231658_Serrano_trust_me.rtf", "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/2231/2231658_Serrano_trust_me.rtf", "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/2231/2231658_Serrano_trust_me.rtf", "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/2231/2231658_Serrano_trust_me.rtf", "mimetype": "text/rtf", "submission_id": "1570593", "user_id": "461579", "submission_file_order": "0", "full_size_x": null, "full_size_y": null, "screen_size_x": null, "screen_size_y": null, "preview_size_x": null, "preview_size_y": null, "initial_file_md5": "4472e4b23a387c755f0f305b92ae1c4c", "full_file_md5": "4472e4b23a387c755f0f305b92ae1c4c", "large_file_md5": "", "small_file_md5": "", "thumbnail_md5": "", "deleted": "f", "create_datetime": "2018-03-23 16:47:07.928651+00", "create_datetime_usertime": "23 Mar 2018 17:47 CET" } ], "pools": [], "description": "Not sure if I'm going to finish this some day, but this is pretty much the most heartful thing I've written in months. I thought maybe it could one day manifest itself as a rap executed in a way similar to Joyner Lucas' I'm Not Racist thing, and if not then maybe at least some kind of slam poetry piece. Either way, I'm done with it for now, and I can't really think of anything more to add.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Not sure if I'm going to finish this some day, but this is pretty much the most heartful thing I've written in months. I thought maybe it could one day manifest itself as a rap executed in a way similar to Joyner Lucas' I'm Not Racist thing, and if not then maybe at least some kind of slam poetry piece. Either way, I'm done with it for now, and I can't really think of anything more to add.", "writing": "It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve felt a certain way,\nand it’s been so long since I’ve known what path to take\nI used to know what kind of job I wanted,\nwhether to turn left or right at the crossroads of my educational degree\nI’m lost like holy shit, the world is so humongous,\nand this emptiness and hollowness is eating my inner spirit like a fungus\nEvery single day it gets better, but inside I know it’s only getting worse, and it doesn’t help at all that my existence is run by the politics of my own creators,\nMy overseers, my caretakers, my closest peers\nWhy can’t you just trust me for once?\nEvery single fucking day I live my life like it’s all okay - I play the game like there’s never been a cause to make me feel this way\nBut the truth is that inside I’ve lost myself and there’s no light left inside to illuminate my day\nSo what else, it’s always night, and it makes so little sense to me that you might be right\nYou know what’s best for me, what will work for me, where to go, what to say, what to do with all of my money\nIt honestly confuses me to think that any one person, or any one group, or any one source has the answer to everything\nYet you still pedal the narrative that listening to everything you tell me is imperative\nI’ve got news for you, you worms of restriction, purveyors of contradiction,\nI rest within your jurisdiction ‘cause you think I have an addiction\nBut the matter of fact is that I HAVE the power to take control and release all of this friction, but I’ll never do that truly.\nNo, there will come a time.\nAnd in the end you’re gonna see that I was right. Whether I exist forever a subsidiary,\nA tired old fuck that can no longer stand because I was driven to insanity and made to eat, sleep and shit the unitary existence you so desperately want to force upon my conscience\nThere’s never been a moment stronger than right now, where I felt so pushed back, so hurt, so exposed, so open and sad that it feels like you’re just going along with the crowd to make yourself look a little more proud\nWhy can’t you just trust me for once?", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve felt a certain way,
and it’s been so long since I’ve known what path to take
I used to know what kind of job I wanted,
whether to turn left or right at the crossroads of my educational degree
I’m lost like holy shit, the world is so humongous,
and this emptiness and hollowness is eating my inner spirit like a fungus
Every single day it gets better, but inside I know it’s only getting worse, and it doesn’t help at all that my existence is run by the politics of my own creators,
My overseers, my caretakers, my closest peers
Why can’t you just trust me for once?
Every single fucking day I live my life like it’s all okay - I play the game like there’s never been a cause to make me feel this way
But the truth is that inside I’ve lost myself and there’s no light left inside to illuminate my day
So what else, it’s always night, and it makes so little sense to me that you might be right
You know what’s best for me, what will work for me, where to go, what to say, what to do with all of my money
It honestly confuses me to think that any one person, or any one group, or any one source has the answer to everything
Yet you still pedal the narrative that listening to everything you tell me is imperative
I’ve got news for you, you worms of restriction, purveyors of contradiction,
I rest within your jurisdiction ‘cause you think I have an addiction
But the matter of fact is that I HAVE the power to take control and release all of this friction, but I’ll never do that truly.
No, there will come a time.
And in the end you’re gonna see that I was right. Whether I exist forever a subsidiary,
A tired old fuck that can no longer stand because I was driven to insanity and made to eat, sleep and shit the unitary existence you so desperately want to force upon my conscience
There’s never been a moment stronger than right now, where I felt so pushed back, so hurt, so exposed, so open and sad that it feels like you’re just going along with the crowd to make yourself look a little more proud
Why can’t you just trust me for once?", "pools_count": 0, "title": "Trust Me", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "text/rtf", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "0", "rating_name": "General", "ratings": [], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "f", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "0", "views": "32" }