Chapter 1

Raphael never would have admitted that had strong feelings for his brother. At first he had confused those feeling for hate. Leonardo was an annoying, overbearing, pompous, pain in the ass but there was something about him that drew Raph in. 
He knew it wasn’t right to have those kinds of feelings for his brother so he did his best to hide them. Unfortunately, his method of hiding his feelings was through anger and pushing the object of his desire away. It was easier that way. If Leonardo, or worse Master Splinter, ever found out the way he really felt there was no telling what kind of punishment would be dealt. 
He thought that he would eventually get over it but over the years his desires only grew stronger. So much so, that he started to have fantasies about Leo. In an attempt to quell them, Raph started drinking. It didn’t entirely help but that didn’t make him stop.
Unfortunately, getting drunk wasn’t always an option. It wasn’t like they were able to go to the store and pick up some beer. So, when his desires were high and he had nothing to drink, Raph would simply leave and go for a run, in hopes of coming across a crook so that he could beat out his frustrations on their faces. 
One night, when his desires were almost overwhelming, Raph was out for a walk when he happened upon a full twenty-four case of beer. He had no idea how it got there, some drunk probably left it, but he wasn’t about to turn down free beer. Grabbing the case, Raph headed back to the lair. He was going to quell the burning desire with a few cans and maybe get some sleep. 
He returned home to find Fearless Leader waiting up for him. The two brothers glared at each other as soon as their eyes met. Without a word, Raphael turned to head to his room. He didn’t want to deal with his brother’s nagging. It was the same old lecture every time anyway, he knew it by heart.
“Father worries every time you go out alone,” Leo said. Always the same. 
“So you’ve told me,” Raph replied, continuing on his way to his room. 
“What’s that?” Leo asked, following Raph. Why couldn’t he just let things go. Raph was in no condition to be around his brother. 
Trying to cover up his nerves, Raph heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. “Beer.”
“Where did you get it,” Leo persisted. 
“Found it,” Raph answered. He entered his room and turned to close the door but Leo wouldn’t let him. 
“You don’t plan on drinking the whole thing in one night, do you?”
Raph looked down at the case and then back up at Leo in disbelief. Shaking his head, he answered, “No. This will last me the week. I like to drink to get buzzed, take the edge off not… get so shit faced that I might die, drunk.”
“Good,” Leo said, crossing his arms over his plastron. He was such a pompous ass and Raph wanted desperately to kiss him. “Personally, I don’t think you should be drinking more than one, if any at all.”
Raph snorted out a laugh. “One would have no effect on me. You, on the other hand….” Raph grinned at his brother as he placed the case of beer on the ground. “Now, if you don’t mind…,” he gestured towards the door, “I would like to drink a few beers and relax.”
Leo’s eyes narrowed. “What? You think I would be drunk after the first can?”
Raph’s grin widened as he poked Leo in the chest. “You’d be slurring your words after half a can. You’re a light weight.”
“I’m not much smaller than you,” Leo argued. “I would be able to drink as much as you with the same effect.” 
Raph scoffed. “Maybe, but you wouldn’t. You’re too much of a goodie goodie to even try. Too afraid of what Splinter might say. Why don’t you go to bed before daddy catches you up past your bed time.”
Lifting his chin in defiance, Leo looked down at Raph. “I will drink the same number of beers as you and you’ll see that I can handle it.”
“Oh it’s on,” Raph sneered and then turned to open the case. He retrieved two beers and handed Leo one of them. “Drink up, Splinter Jr.” 
Leo looked hesitantly down at the can before he popped the tab and took a sip. His face bunched up as he pulled the can away. “This tastes awful.”
“You get used to it. Besides, you drink it for the effect, not the flavor,” Raph said with a shrug, smiling as he took a sip. Since it had been outside in the frigid temperatures, the beer was cold, making it easier to drink. “You don’t have to drink it.”
“I’ll drink it,” Leo said defiantly, looking down at the can. As he took another sip, he took a seat on the bed. Raph sat down next to him and started to gulp his beer down. Not wanting to be outdone, Leonardo started to do the same. They finished their first can in no time at all. Leo stifled a cough. “You always drink this fast?”
“Yes,” Raph answered. It was a lie. It was only because Leo was there that Raphael was drinking so fast. He wanted Fearless to admit defeat not match him gulp for gulp. What was Leo doing? This wasn’t like him. 
He picked up two more beers and handed one to Leo. “You wanna quit?”
Leo looked at the beer in Raph’s hand and sighed before reaching up to take it. “I’m not gonna quit.”
It struck Raph as odd, the way Leo had said that he wasn’t going to quit. Why was he so determined to continue? He was never one to fall to peer pressure before. One thing was for sure, Raph wasn’t going to be the one to back down. 
By the end of the second beer, Raph was sure Leo was up to something. There was a look of resigned determination in those grey eyes of his. 
Raph’s head was swimming by the time he finished his third beer. From the slight sway in Leo’s movements, Raph could tell that he was feeling the same. “Why did you do this?” Raph asked as he collected the cans. 
“Because,” Leo replied with a shrug, his speech a little slurred. “I had to. I don’t know why but you’re always pushing me away. I keep trying to work things out with you but nothing… works, you’re always mad at me. If I have to drink with you for you to be willing to spend time with me then that’s what I’ll do.”
He looked up and the pain in his eyes made Raph’s heart ache. “I don’t know why you hate me,” Leo said. “You get along with the others. What am I doing wrong? It’s not because I’m the leader. I heard you telling Donny that you now realize that I’m better suited for it. I’m not too bossy. I ask your opinion before making a decision. I don’t get it. I want us to be close. What do I have to do?”
With shaky hands, Raph placed the cans off to the side. His heart hammered in his chest. He didn’t know what to do. Leo being hurt was not something he had intended on doing. “I don’t hate you,” he admitted. 
“Then why do you push me away?” Leo asked. 
“I don’t know,” Raph lied, eyes turned away from his brother. 
Leo looked at him in disbelief. “You don’t know?”
“That’s right,” Raph snapped back. 
Exasperated, Leo sighed. “How can you not know? You’re the one who is inexplicably mad. If there is no reason, then why do you do it? Why are you always giving me a hard time?”
“It… it’s complicated,” Raph replied, feeling flustered. 
“Complicated?” Leo glared at him, his voice rising a little. “What is so complicated?”
“It’s because I love you,” Raph blurted out in frustration, not knowing where the words came from as he said them and wishing he could take them back. He couldn’t look at Leo. Why hadn’t he kicked Leo out in the first place? Why did he drink with him?
When Raph did look up he could see that Leo’s mouth was agape. “What?” Leo choked out. 
Raph’s eyes burned with tears and he had to once again look away from Leo. He figured that he might as well come clean, tell Leo the truth and get it over with, and face whatever punishment would happen next. “All I want is to be close to you. I push you away because I know it’s wrong to feel this way.”
Leo’s breath caught in his throat. He had to take a few quick breaths and swallow hard before he was able to speak. “I….”
Raph interrupted, “You know now that it’s nothing you’ve done wrong. It’s me.” Turning his back to his brother, he tried to hide the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. Maybe if he was lucky, Leo wouldn’t tell anyone and just keep his distance from now on. “Do whatever you want with the information. Just go.”
“I love you too,” Leo said softly as he gently touched Raph’s arm, causing Raph’s heart to flutter. He couldn’t be hearing Leo right. Leo was drunk or misunderstood, he probably thought Raph meant brotherly love. But then, Leo leaned against Raph’s carapace. “That’s why it bothered me so much that you kept pushing me away. All I ever wanted was to be close to you.”
Slowly, Leo’s traced his fingers down Raph’s arm to his hand. Raph struggled to find reason to fight this but he couldn’t. In all honesty, he didn’t want to. This was something he wanted to happen. He turned so that he was once again facing Leo. There was a soft smile on his brother’s lips. Those soft, tempting lips that Raphael wanted to taste.
Leaning in Raph captured Leo’s lips. It was awkward due to the alcohol and the fact that it was their first kiss. Neither of them knew what they were doing. They both chuckled nervously whenever their teeth collided but they kept at it until they figured it out.
It felt amazing to finally be able to kiss but Raphael’s body demanded more. He wanted everything Leo had to offer. Guiding their movements as they shifted positions, Raphael made sure he was on top with Leo lying underneath him. 
Raphael had expected Leo to put up a fight but there was no grappling for position. Leo moved into position, with no complaint at all as Raphael settled on top of him. 
In their new position, Raph was able to rub their lower plastrons together. Leo gasped out in surprise and his hands came up to grip Raph’s biceps. But he didn’t push Raph away, lifting his hips instead to entice Raph to do it again. Raph was more than happy to comply. 
It didn’t take much before the two inexperienced teens were both too aroused to keep their penises tucked away. The slits in their lower plastrons parted and their engorged flesh fell free from their confinement. 
There was a voice in the back of Raph’s mind that told him to slow down. It was drowned out by the screaming need of his body. 
Breaking from the kiss, Raph left a trail of kisses as he made his way down Leo’s plastron. Leo gasped, his fingers clutching the sheets as Raph neared his penis. The heavy musk of his arousal penetrated Raph’s senses, further fanning the flames of his desire. 
Raph ghosted his lips over Leo’s shaft and it twitched in anticipation. When he brushed his tongue over Leo’s tip, Leo reacted by throwing his head back, letting out a deep moan. One more lick had Leo crying out. His penis throbbed as a milky stream shot onto his plastron. 
“I’m sorry,” Leo gasped, looking down at Raph. “I just….”
“It’s okay,” Raph reassured him with an awkward smile. Though he was a little disappointed, Raph wasn’t going to let it show. He didn’t want to upset Leo and risk having this all come to an end. “It’s not like we are limited to one a day.” Lowering his head back down, Raph took Leo’s wilting member into his mouth and started to suck. It didn’t take much to work it back up to a full erection. 
While he sucked, Raph prepared himself, dipping his fingers deep into himself as far as they could go. He wanted to feel Leo inside of him and he wasn’t going to be satisfied until it happened. 
Part of Raph worried that he was taking advantage of Leo in an inebriated state. At the same time, he didn’t want to let the opportunity to fulfill his greatest desire pass. Desire overruled his moral sense. 
Raph sat up, straddling Leo’s hips. He reached down between them, lining Leo’s tip up with his opening. Leo’s eyes widened in surprise when he realized what was going on. Placing his hands on Raph’s thighs, Leo struggled to keep his breathing steady as Raph lowered himself. “Oh wow.”
Raphael paused and their eyes locked for a moment. He could see his own sense of fear, desire, and disbelief reflected back at him in Leo’s eyes. This was really happening. 
Leo watched in amazement as he entered Raph’s body. His breath hitched as he struggled to maintain control. “How are you so wet?”
“Does it matter?” Raph rocked his hips, relishing the feeling of finally having Leo inside of him. “I prepped myself while I sucked your cock.”
“Oh,” Leo gasped. Anything else he wanted to say was choked off by a deep churr. 
Raph watched Leo’s face as he rode him. He wanted to remember the way it looked, just in case it all blew up in his face in the morning. 
Leo bit his bottom lip and shook his head. “I’m not gonna last long.”
“Cum in me, Leo,” Raph gasped. 
“I don’t think I have a choice,” Leo replied, groaning. His fingers dug into Raph’s thighs as his head rolled back. Leo bucked his hips, slamming into Raph. Legs shaking, Leo grunted and churred as his orgasm struck. 
Raph let out a deep moan as a wave of pleasure wash over his body. He could feel the pulsating beat of Leo’s cock against his inner wall as he was filled with warmth and a sense of fulfillment. 
Leo’s movements slowed and then stopped. Looking up, Leo grabbed hold of Raph’s penis. “You haven’t finished yet.”
Raph looked down at himself. He had thoroughly enjoyed himself and had believed he had reached an orgasm so he was a little surprised to see that his penis was still erect. 
Leo moved his hand over the heated flesh and Raph bucked his hips in response, seeking release. As Raph moved up Leo’s torso, Leo’s penis fell free. His expelled juices dripped from Raph’s opening, leaving a trail as Raph moved.
Once Raph was close enough, Leo lifted his head to suck on Raph’s tip. The wet warmth of Leo’s mouth soon had Raph churring. Every swipe of Leo’s tongue brought him closer to completion. Each wave of pleasure more intense than the last until he reached his peak. 
Now that they were both fully satisfied, they settled into bed and curled up around each other, both with goofy grins on their faces. Despite the euphoric high that had come with such a glorious release, Raph still felt a little pang of apprehension. “You’re not gonna regret this in the morning, are you?”
“You’re the one who was pushing me away, remember?” Leo replied, looking Raph in the eyes. “I’m afraid that you’re going to use the alcohol as an excuse and tomorrow morning we will be right back where we were.”
“I’ve wanted to be with you for so long,” Raph said as he lightly traced his fingers down Leo’s cheek. “Now that I’ve got you, there is no way I am pushing you away again.”
A sleepy grin spread across Leo’s face. “Good.”
They shared one last, soft kiss before drifting off to sleep. 
…..
Raphael stretched as he woke and soon noticed that he was not alone. In an instant, the events of the night before all came rushing back to him, causing him to wake all at once. Heart pounding, he slowly sat up to face Leo who was sitting at the foot of the bed, watching Raph sleep.
“You’re still here,” Raph said. 
Leo offered a soft smile. “You’re not screaming at me to get out.”
Feeling himself blush, Raph looked away. “I don’t want you to leave.” For a moment, he allowed himself to be happy but then he turned away from Leo, draping his legs over the side of the bed as he took a hard, long look at the floor. “But you should probably go.”
“Why?” The pain in Leo’s voice cut into Raph causing him to cringe a little.
Raph struggled with the desire to turn back around and pull his brother to him. He decided instead to look at the clock. It was late in the morning by their standards. So late, in fact, that he was surprised that no one had come looking for them yet. “We’re gonna be in trouble for being late. We should probably come up with something to tell the others.” 
“We’re not in trouble,” Leo stated. “And, I’ve already told father.”
Raph sighed and chuckled. Of course. He was not surprised that Leo had gotten up early to tell Splinter. Not sure how he felt about that, Raph grappled with a flood of mixed emotions. After a brief battle, Raph settled on simply resigning himself to the fact. “What did he say?”
“He gave us the morning off,” Leo replied. “He wants us to work this out.”
Raph looked over his shoulder, back at Leo in disbelief. “Is he really okay with this?”
Leo smiled and nodded. “He is. We discussed it at length. At first he wasn’t sure but after a while, he told me that he would be okay with it. He wants us to be happy. He has his concerns, but he’s not going to come between us. There are rules, however.”
Feeling a little more relaxed, Raph flopped back on the bed and looked up at Leo. “Okay…. Let’s work this out.” The knee closest to Leo was bent while the other leg was still draped over the edge of the bed, leaving his legs parted and his tail exposed. 
Leo rested his hand on Raph’s knee and looked him in the eyes. “So… is it safe to assume you are okay with what happened last night?” When Raph nodded his head, Leo smiled. “Me too.”
As an awkward silence fell between them, Raph lazily traced his finger down the center line of Leo’s plastron, stopping short of his slit before moving his finger up again. He could hear Leo’s breath hitch and felt the muscles tighten. 
“We’re supposed to be talking,” Leo said, his fingers dipping down the inside of Raph’s thigh. 
“Then talk,” Raph said as he traced his finger a little lower, causing Leo’s lower plastron to swell. 
With a deep moan, Leo reached down to tease the entrance hidden under Raph’s tail. “Does this mean that the fighting between us is going to end?” 
Raphael chuckled and slid his finger along Leo’s parting slit. “I'm still gonna argue with you. That's my job. Who else is gonna make you question your decisions and challenge you to make better ones? Someone's gotta keep you in check.”
“I can handle the arguing,” Leo said. His chest was heaving as he fought to maintain control. “But I hope that this means things will be better between us.”
The building pressure behind Raph’s plastron was becoming too much to contain. Knowing someone had to go first, Raph let his erection loose. “I no longer have a reason to push you away. So, yeah, things will be better between us.” 
“Good.” Leo dipped his fingers into Raph’s needy hole. “You know that I won't be able to show you favoritism when we're out on patrol.” 
Raph moaned and bit his bottom lip as his body reacted favorably to Leo’s finger. “Is that one of Splinter’s rules?”
“He didn't have to tell me that one,” Leo stated. He was moving his finger in and out of Raph but still managed to keep his own penis tucked way. “It's a given. I cannot let my feelings for you interfere with my abilities to lead.” 
“Fair enough,” Raph grunted out before his inner walls started to pulsate. 
Leo looked down at him in confusion. “You didn't cum. Was that not an orgasm?” 
“I don't know,” Raph panted. “It felt good though.” Pressing hard against Leo’s budge, Raph looked up into his eyes. “D’you know what would feel better than your finger and definitely give me an orgasm?” 
“What could that be?” Leo husked as a smile overtook his face. 
“Your cock,” Raph replied flatly, squeezing Leo’s groin, “in my ass. Let it out and fuck me.” 
“Since you asked so nicely….” Leo moved over Raph and settled between his legs, leaning forward to capture Raph’s lips as he pressed inside. Moaning softly, Leo broke the kiss. “How are you so wet?”
“Must be left over from last night,” Raph answered, looking down between them. He wanted to see Leo inside of him. He wanted to watch it as it slid in and out until Leo finished. Part of him still couldn’t believe that this was happening. 
As Raph lifted up to get a better view, Leo shifted his position to accommodate. Once they were settled, Leo started to thrust. Raph ran his bottom lip through his teeth as he watched Leo move inside of him, the view adding to his arousal. 
Leo churred and increased his pacing, his already solid shaft hardening further. “I’m close. Are you almost there?”
“Cum inside me,” Raph rasped out as he reached up to pump his cock. 
Leo looked up at Raph. “What?”
“I’ll get off when you cum inside me,” Raph said. “I think it’s hot.”
“Okay,” Leo panted, a little unsure and then he let himself go. With a deep grunt and a few staggering thrusts, Leo finished inside of Raph. 
He could feel Leo pulsating inside him and it was enough to tip Raph over the edge. He threw his head back as every muscle tensed and his hot seed shot out over his plastron. 
“Wow,” Leo breathed before flopping down on the bed. “I don't think I will be getting tired of that anytime soon.” 
“Oh yeah,” Raph agreed, carefully tucking himself away. “We can do this anytime you want.” 
The moment Raph turned his head to look at Leo, he was met with a tender kiss. “Part of me is afraid to leave the bed,” Leo admitted. 
“Why's that?” Raph asked. 
Leo nuzzled against Raph. “I don't want this to end.” 
“This ain't ending,” Raph reassured him. “But, yeah, I get what you mean. I'm not looking forward to facing everyone.” 
“We have to tell them,” Leo said. “This would be impossible to keep from them. We don't have any secrets, not for long anyway.” 
“I know,” Raph said. “But they don't need to know the details.”
Leo smiled at his mate. “I wouldn't dream of telling them the details. You're right. It is none of their business.” 
They snuggled in silence for a while, basking in the blissful joy of the moment. It was a moment Raph was in no hurry to end. It was not often that he felt such peace, especially with his brother. 
He would have been content staying in bed all day but it wasn't long before his stomach started to make itself known. One more glance at the clock told him that breakfast was long past and lunch time was quickly approaching. 
“We should get up,” Leo said as if he could hear Raph's hunger. “By the time we’re done showering, lunch should be done.”
“Alright,” Raph said as he reluctantly got out of bed. “I’ll check to make sure the way to the bathroom is clear.” His hand met the sticky remains of their encounter as it slid up his plastron. He stopped mid stride, pulling his hand away in disgust, and looked down between his legs as he felt Leo’s fluid running down his inner thighs. 
With an exasperated sigh, Raph continued on his way to the door. “I don’t want anyone seeing me like this,” he said as he cracked the door open just as Mikey was walking past.
The youngest brother paused mid stride and curled his nose. “You guys reek of sex.” He quickly looked Raph over and then added, “The bathroom is free,” before continuing on his way. “Oh and thank you for being the reason Splinter canceled training this morning. And, just so you know, the rooms aren’t sound proof. I could hear you two going at it. Keep that in mind in the future.”
Raph stood, gripping the knob in stunned silence as Mikey continued to casually walk down the hall. Leo appeared at his side and gently coaxed Raph to release his vice like grip from the knob. “We knew this wasn’t going to be kept a secret.”
“I’m never gonna hear the end of this,” Raph said, his voice tout. 
“Maybe,” Leo said leaning close to Raph. “But you know he only does it to get a reaction out of you. If you don’t react he will stop.”
Throwing open the door Raph pulled away from Leo and headed towards the bathroom. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re always in control. And you weren’t the one with cum dripping between your legs.”
“Raph,” Leo pleaded, following him towards the bathroom. “I’m sorry, Mikey seeing you was upsetting but please, don’t blame me.”
As soon as Raph reached the bathroom he slammed the door behind him, locking Leo out.

Chapter 2
Discovery

 
Per usual, Raphael didn’t stay mad for long. The warmth of the shower seemed to help wash away the anger along with the remanence of his coupling with Leo. When he was done, he toweled himself off and headed down for lunch. 

He passed Splinter on the way to the kitchen. His father was sitting on the sofa, engrossed in the midday news and sipping his tea. In the kitchen, Leo and Donny were already seated at the table with bowls of soup on front of them. Donny was reading something on a tablet while Leo was reading the newspaper. Michelangelo was up, putting his bowl in the sink. A large smile spread across his face as Raph entered. 

Mikey barely had a chance to make any kind of remark, managing a few words before Raph hit him hard on the shoulder, silencing him. 

“Don’t,” Raph warned him.

“Raph!” Leo shouted in frustration. “I had already talked to him.”

Donny hadn’t bothered to look up from what he was reading, sipping his tea while he let the argument pan out. He knew better than to get involved. 

Raph turned on Leo. “What the hell, Leo? I can take care of myself. I don’t need you running interference.”

“Ow,” Mikey whimpered over their argument, grabbing his arm while flexing his hand. “Did you have to hit me so hard? My whole arm went numb.”

“Obviously, I do,” Leo argued, gesturing to Mikey. 

“I’ll do much worse if you make any more smart-ass remarks about me and Leo,” Raph growled as he turned his attention back to Mikey. “It’s none of your fucking business.” He hated that he was resorting to handling the situation this way. Deep down he wished that he could simply talk things out but his anger got the better of him and he lashed out. Once he got started, it was hard to stop.

“You need to lighten up,” Mikey complained as he turned to grab a bowl, his arm obviously stiff. “I wasn’t gonna say anything about it. I was gonna ask you if you were hungry.” He dished out some soup and handed it to Raph. “I’m glad you and Leo are together, by the way, though I can’t for the life of me figure out why. Don’t worry. I won’t say anything more about it.”

Raph took the bowl from Mikey and sat at the table to sulk in silence. Mikey’s words had struck a chord. He had no idea what Leo saw in him either and was expecting him to call the whole thing off at any moment.

The remainder of the day, Mikey kept his distance from Raph. A visible welt had formed where Raph had hit him, causing a wave of regret washed over him. He hadn’t intended on hitting Mikey that hard but he was too prideful to apologies for it. Why did his temper have to get the better of him?

At the dinner table, Mikey sat away from Raph and avoided having any form of conversation with him. It wasn’t like Raph was making any effort either, it was his fault after all. He knew that all he had to do was give it time and Mikey would come around and act like nothing had ever happened. 

Fortunately, his orange banded brother wasn’t one to hold a grudge for long. It would devastate Raph if he ever lost Mikey’s friendship. It was one of his greatest fears that he would one day go too far for even Mikey to forgive him. 

That night, Raph stepped in front of the open doorway of Leo’s room, stopping just short of the threshold. “Can I come in?”

Leonardo was getting ready for bed, meticulously putting his gear away so that it would be ready to be put back on in a moment’s notice. His weapons sat nearby, always accessible even when he slept. Ever vigilant. Raph had no idea how Leo wasn’t dead from stress.  

Leo looked up and nodded. “Yeah.”

Stepping into the room, Raph closed and locked the door. “Can I stay the whole night?”

“Is this how it’s gonna be?” Leo sat down on the bed. “You and I are together in the night only?”

“Isn’t that pretty much how Splinter said it had to be?” Raph argued, making his way across the room. “We’re not allowed to be open with our relationship in front of the others. No P.D.A.”

“That doesn’t mean we have to be distant with each other,” Leo pointed out. Scooting over, Leo patted the bed next to him, inviting Raph to join him. “You’re allowed to spend time with me. We just can’t spend our free time making out on the sofa.”

“Yeah, okay,” Raph mumbled as he sat down. “I’ll do better.” He honestly had no issue with the no personal display of affection rule. Raph’s biggest issue was that when he did spend time with Leo, all the knowing looks he was going to receive from his brothers. There were no secrets in this family and they were going to be watched closely for any slip ups.

“This whole thing will take some getting used to,” Leo said as if he had read Raph’s thoughts. “We will all need time to adjust to the new family dynamic. Once we do, it will be less awkward for all of us.”

“Fair enough.” With a sigh, Raph stripped himself of his gear and threw it into a pile on the floor. Leo sat looking at it for a moment. The disheveled pile struck a nerve but before he had a chance to say anything, Raph pressed in for a kiss. Anything Leo was about to say was forgotten as the two fell to the bed. 

“Fuck me,” Raph mumbled into the kiss as he positioned himself above Leonardo, grinding their lower plastrons together. “I want to feel you inside me.” 

“Gladly,” Leo moaned before a churr erupted from him. “But I don’t have any lube.”

Raph reached between them to rub along Leo’s lower plastron. “I prepped myself before coming here.”

Unable to contain it any longer, Leo let his erection free. His breath hitched as Raph’s hand wrapped around the heated flesh. “What would you have done if I had said no?”

“Gone back to my room, cursed your name, and masturbated while thinking of you,” Raph replied with a cocky grin, lifting up so that he could place Leo’s tip at his entrance. “But I much rather have the real thing.” He lowered himself, gently rocking his hips as he slid down Leo’s shaft. There was only a brief moment of pain as his muscles stretched to accommodate the girth.  

Closing his eyes, Leo bit hard on his bottom lip and rolled his head back against the pillow. Raphael set a rigorous pace in an attempt to bring them both to a quick completion. 

Chest heaving, Leo reached up to grab hold of Raph’s bobbing cock. The pre-cum that flowed from the tip coated Leo’s hand as he feverishly pumped. 

“Oh God,” Raph gasped, his movements staggering. “Fuck, Leo!”

Leo’s grip on Raph’s cock tightened, his movements instinctive as he reached his climax. The warm rush of fluids deep inside of him set Raph off, his eyes squeezing shut as his lower regions pulsated. He loved that feeling. After a few steading breaths, Raph opened his eyes and saw streaks of cum spattered across Leo’s chest. 

“Sex is messy,” Leo said, smiling up at Raph. He ran his fingers through the mess on his plastron. “And sticky,” he added.

“Yeah it is,” Raph said, looking down between them. He lifted up, causing Leo’s spent penis to fall free followed by a flow of secretions that spilled onto Leo’s thighs. “Fortunately, the majority of it is on you this time,” he quipped.

“You’re not getting out of this clean,” Leo stated with a playful grin. Before Raph could say anything, Leo used his cum covered hand to pull Raph down into a kiss and then rolled them both so that he was on top. “We’re not done.”

“I can go all night,” Raph said with a grin.

….

A soft kiss on his cheek pulled Raph from his deep slumber. It had been several weeks since their relationship had started but it was beginning to feel… normal. They spent most of their nights together, only spending nights apart whenever they fought.

For a moment Raph felt joy, there was something fulfilling about waking up next to a lover, but then a sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed him. He bolted from the room in a mad dash for the bathroom, barely making it before his stomach voided itself of its contents. 

“You alright?” Leo asked, standing just outside the doorway. 

Raph shook his head. “I feel like shit.”

As Raph continued to heave, Mikey walked up to stand next to Leo. “Dude, you don’t look too good. You pregnant?”

“Fuck you,” Raph griped, lobbing the first thing he could grab, a roll of toilet paper, at Mikey. It harmlessly bounced off Mikey’s plastron and fell to the floor. 

“Not now, Mikey,” Leo said, ushering the youngest away before he could make matters worse. 

With is arm across the toilet, Raph rested his head against it while he waited for his stomach to stop turning. Leo knelt down next to him and gently rubbed Raph’s carapace. “Once it’s all out of your system, go back to bed and get some rest. Okay?”

“You’re not gonna get any argument out of me,” Raph mumbled into the toilet. 

“Just to make sure it’s nothing serious, have Donny run a few tests later.” Leo kissed the back of Raph’s head and then stood. “I’m gonna head to practice. I’ll let father know that you are not feeling well. If you need anything, let me know.”

“I’ll be fine,” Raph assured him, waving him away. 

“Alright.” Leo gave a stiff nod before reluctantly turning to leave. 

Raph waited with his face in the toilet for a few more minutes to make sure that he was done heaving. When his stomach felt like it had stilled, he stood, waiting near the toilet for a second just in case the movement caused another wave of nausea. Mildly assured that he would not throw up again, Raph flushed and then headed over to the sink to rinse out his mouth and wash his hands before heading back to his room. 

Once he was back in bed, he closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep. He managed to doze, the sounds of his family’s activities manipulating his waking dreams in bizarre ways but he was not able to get back to sleep. It didn’t take long before he could no longer stay in bed. It was against his nature to be lazy, even if he was sick. 

He opened his bedroom door and the aroma of lunch greeted him, causing him to let out a soft groan. Nauseated hunger was not a pleasant state to be in. He decided to head down to see if there was something mild he could eat to test the strength of his stomach. 

He entered the kitchen to find Mikey at the sink, cleaning dishes. The rest of the family must have just finished their lunch. The orange banded ninja turned when he sensed that he was not alone. The smile he gave Raph was soft and caring. “Feeling a little better?”

“A little,” Raph nodded. “Thought I’d try eating something.”

Since his hands were wet, Mikey gestured with his elbow. “There’s some rice in the cooker over there. I went out earlier and got you some ginger ale and some Gatorade. They’re in the fridge.”

“Thanks,” Raph said, giving Mikey an appreciative pat on the back as he made his way past to get a bowl. He opened the rice cooker to find the rice inside untouched, meaning that Mikey had made it specifically for Raph. Mikey might have been a pain in the ass at times but he could also be great when the situation called for it. If Raph wasn’t so in love with Leo, he would definitely have a crush on Mikey. 

After putting a small amount in the bowl, Raph grabbed one of the bottles of ginger ale from the fridge and then sat at the table. He took a small sip of the soda to test his stomach. When there was no adverse reaction, he took a bite of rice. As soon as the rice hit, his stomach demanded more. 

He was hungry and all nausea was forgotten. 

Raph inhaled the bowl of rice and then got up to get some more. “Is there anything else I can eat with this?”

“Uh?” Mikey watched as Raph piled rice into his bowl. “You sure you wanna eat that much?”

“I’m hungry.” Raph set his bowl down and opened the fridge and spotted the container of homemade pickled vegetables. He grabbed the container along with one that had a few boiled eggs that had been soaked in soy sauce. 

He didn’t even bother slicing the eggs. Instead he shoved two into the rice and mashed them in with his fork. Once it was good and mixed he added some of the vegetables and then started to devour the mixture. 

“You sure you’re not pregnant?” Mikey laughed, dodging the roll of paper towels Raph threw at him. 

“Fuck you,” Raph said through a mouth full of food. “I told you that my relationship with Leo is off limits. You’re asking me to beat the shit out of you.”

“It’s just a joke,” Mikey scoffed, brushing Raph’s threat off by turning back to the dishes. “It’s funny because you’re a dude so it’s impossible. I’d be saying it even if you weren’t being screwed by Leo every chance you get. But you really should have Donny look you over. It can’t be normal to up chuck in the morning and then eat so much a few hours later. Better make sure you don’t have some kind of bug.”

“I will,” Raph agreed as he stabbed at his food. “I just wanted to get something to eat first.”

Mikey put the last dish on the drying rack and then turned to face Raph. “You mind washing your own dishes?” It was Mikey’s day to do the dishes and every dish was supposed to be his responsibility, but Raph was feeling generous. 

“Nah.” Raph waved Mikey out of the room. “Go play.” 

“Thanks!” Mikey quickly dried his hands and made a dash for the door. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

Alone, Raph continued to move his food around with his fork. He had been famished a few moments ago, and he knew he was fully capable of eating the amount of food in the bowl a few times over but he was full and feeling a bit nauseous again. There had to have been something wrong with his stomach. 

He hated the idea of wasting food but his concoction was not going to store well and no one else was going to eat it, so he ran the garbage disposal and dumped the food down the drain. Once his dishes were clean, Raph headed to Donny’s lab for a checkup. 

As soon as he opened the door he was met with, “Now’s not a good time,” followed by the sound of a welding tool. 

Raphael knew better than to bother his brother while he was in the middle of something, especially if it involved a welder. So, without a word, Raph backed back out of the lab, closing the door behind him. 

Raph considered not bothering with a checkup but he needed some answers, there was something off and it was best to find out what it was as soon as possible, so he went to the next best place, Leatherhead’s. 

The path between the Turtles’ lair and Leatherhead’s was under heavily surveillance. No one entered those tunnels without the two geniuses knowing about it. So, it was no surprise when Leatherhead was there waiting for Raphael. “What brings you here, my friend?”

“I haven’t been feeling well,” Raph explained as he approached, “and Donny’s busy so I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind giving me a checkup to make sure it’s nothing serious.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Leatherhead stated, steeping aside to invite Raph into his home. “What seems to be the matter?” He gestured for Raph to follow him deeper into his lair. 

“I threw up this morning,” Raph said as they entered Leatherhead’s lab. “It came out of nowhere. Then, after a while, I was starving but then I wasn’t able to eat much before I felt full. And, to be honest, I’ve been short of breath lately.”

“Get up on the table,” Leatherhead instructed and turned to look through his equipment. “I’m going to do a scan of your abdominal region to make sure there isn’t some sort of growth.”

Raphael felt his heart sink into his stomach. “A growth?”

Leatherhead gravely nodded in response. “I hope it is nothing more than a bug that has you out of sorts but it is best to make sure.”

Raphael swallowed hard as he got up on the table. He was starting to feel dizzy so he lay back and looked up at the ceiling. A growth of any kind would not be good, practically a death sentence. There were few options of treatment, every single one of them a risk. It wasn’t like they could simply go to a doctor. 

Leatherhead returned with a refurbished sonogram machine and set it down on a nearby table. “This is the best I have to do an internal scan.”

“Then it will have to do,” Raph said, keeping his eyes on the ceiling. 

After squirting some lubricant onto Raph’s abdomen, Leatherhead turned on the machine and pressed the probe just below Raph’s ribs. Raph kept his eyes fixed on a small crack as he waited for Leatherhead’s findings. 

“That’s odd,” Leatherhead said, moving the probe lower. 

“What?” Raph turned his head, craning his neck to see the monitor but he couldn’t make sense of the black and white image. “Did you find something?”

“You are male. Are you not?” Leatherhead replied with a question of his own. 

“What the hell kind of question is that?” Raph snapped, all of his nervous energy coming out as anger. “Yes, I’m male. If you move that thing any lower, you’ll see my cock. Why would you even ask me that?”

“Because there appears to be a clutch of eggs growing inside of you,” Leatherhead simply answered. 

It took a moment for Leatherhead’s words to sink in. Raphael felt like he was in a daze. “What?” There was no way that he had heard him right. “You’re shitting me. This is your lame ass attempt at a joke, to calm my nerves.”

Leatherhead shook his head. “I am afraid not. I see at least five developing eggs. It also appears that you have both testicles and ovaries.”

Raph felt sick. “How? It’s not possible.”

“Without further tests, I cannot know for sure,” Leatherhead said, turning the machine off and handing Raph a towel. “Based on the internal scans, I can assume that you are intersex and that both are functional.”

“I’m a boy and a girl?” Raph asked, trying to wrap his head around it all as he cleaned off his plastron. “The reason I’ve been sick is because I’m… pregnant?”

“Essentially, yes,” Leatherhead said, his eyes full of concern for his friend. 

“I need to go,” Raph said flatly, jumping down from the exam table. “I need time process all this.”

“If there is anything I can do…,” Leatherhead offered. 

Raph turned to look at him. “Don’t say anything to anyone.”

“Of course,” Leatherhead agreed without hesitation. “It is not my news to tell.”

“No matter what,” Raph added with conviction. “Don’t say anything about it.”

Worry filled Leatherhead’s eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I ain’t having kids,” Raph answered, tears stinging his eyes.

Leatherhead stood and took a few tentative steps forward. “Raph….”

“I ain’t asking you to help me get rid of them,” Raphael interrupted him, “just that you don’t do anything to try and stop me. Just pretend that today never happened.” He was shaking with emotion. Was Leatherhead going to agree or was he going to run off and tell the others in an attempt to stop him?

“Don’t make any hasty decisions,” Leatherhead pleaded. “Take some time to think this trough. Consider what their father would want.”

“The only thing I’m gonna be thinking about is how to end this without anyone finding out,” Raph said through gritted teeth. “Do you know of anything I can take that will abort them?”

Leatherhead shook his head. “I do not think that any of the herbs that humans can take will work on you. Besides,” he fixed Raph with a piercing gaze, “even if I knew of anything you could take, I wouldn’t tell you. I don’t want any part in it.”

“As long as you keep your mouth shut,” Raph said. 

“You have my word,” Leatherhead reluctantly agreed. 

“Good.” Raph turned on his heel and left. 

On his way home Leatherhead’s words echoed through his head. The more he thought about it the more he second guessed his decision. Maybe he would talk about it with Leo first before making any final decisions. 

Chapter 3
Desperation 

As soon as Raph returned home, he headed straight for the dojo. Pounding his fists into his punching bag helped to clear his head. Right now, he needed to think. 

He couldn’t believe what was happening. There he was, a freak among freaks. A girl who didn’t know they were a girl because they also had boy parts and was now carrying their brother’s children with no way of getting rid of them. 

He punched the bag with all of his might, the force of the blow causing prickles of pain up his arm. What were his brothers going to say? How were they going to react? Then there was Splinter. 

Just the thought of his father looking at him in silent disappointment made Raph’s stomach churn. 

“You alright?”

Raph paused, mid punch and turned to see Leo standing behind him. He hadn’t even heard the stealthy bastard come in. Placing his hands on the bag to steady it, Raph shook his head. “I’m alright.”

“Where’ve you been?” Leo asked, stepping closer. There was no accusation in his voice, just a simple curiosity. 

“Don was busy,” Raph answered. “So, I went to see Leatherhead.”

There was a flash of concern in Leo’s eyes. “What’d he say?” Though Leo did his best not to show it, Raph knew that Leo was worried. 

“I’m good.” Raph forced a smile and defensively raised his hands in an attempt to settle Leo’s nerves. “I’m fine.”

Leo nodded his head. “Good.” After a quick glance around the dojo, Leo moved forward and pulled Raph into an embrace. They stood holding each other for as long as they dared before pulling apart. Leo once again scanned the dojo before addressing Raph. “If everything is okay, why did you seem to be so upset?”

Raph shrugged his shoulders as he thought of how to respond. “I… uh… I don’t know. I’m trying to clear my head of ridiculous thoughts, I guess.”

“Like what?” Leo asked, keeping his eyes locked on Raph. 

“Do you ever…?” Raph sighed and turned his gaze to the ground. He had to think of a way to get Leo’s opinion on the situation without revealing anything. “Do you ever wish we could have kids?” He looked back up at Leo to see a wide eye expression. It would have made Raph laugh if he hadn’t been so scared. 

Leo fumbled with his words, something that was a rarity. “I would be lying if I said no,” he eventually managed, shaking his head. “But at the same time, it’s a good thing we can’t.”

“You’d be a great dad,” Raph replied without thinking. “And I know, one day, you would like to be a master with your own students.”

Smiling, Leo nodded but then the smile faded and he started to once again shake his head. “It would be nice but…. Just think about the kind of life we have. It wouldn’t be fair to bring children into this. We have so many enemies and so little freedom. No. It’s a good thing we can’t have kids.”

Taking a deep breath, Raph let it out slowly. “You’re right. Like I said, it was a ridiculous thought.”

“What brought this on?” Leo asked. “Was it because of what Mikey said this morning?”

“Maybe,” Raph shrugged, in an attempt to play it off as nothing. “I don’t know. I was trying to come up with things to do that would make you happy and, for some reason, that’s where my mind went.”

“I like that there is peace between us and that we get to spend so much time together.” Leo moved in closer to Raph. “We’re open and honest with each other. Being with you, like this, makes me happy. I don’t need anything more.”

As Leo moved in for a kiss, Raph couldn’t help but smile despite the pain he was feeling. “We’re gonna get caught.” 

Leo chuckled. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” 

Their lips met in a tender kiss that radiated Leo’s love and broke Raph’s heart. 

In the days that followed, Raph did his best to hide the turbulent thoughts that plagued his mind and the fact that a clutch of eggs was developing inside him. He had to come up with a way to get rid of them without anyone knowing. The biggest problem was Leatherhead. 

Every time the large crocodile came for a visit it made Raphael anxious. It worried him even more any time Leatherhead was alone with Donatello. It took all of Raph’s control not to hover around them. If he had, it would raise suspicion. 

Leatherhead and Donny had been working for the past few hours on some big project. Leo, Mikey, and Raph were sitting in front of the television array, watching the news. They were getting ready to go out on their nightly patrol.

As Leatherhead was leaving, he shot a Raph a glance. The split second that their eyes met had Raphael’s stomach in knots. He was up to something. 

Donatello saw Leatherhead out and closed the door behind his friend before turning towards the rest of the family. “I have realized that it has been a while since your last health screenings. So, tomorrow, after practice, I expect to see each of you in my lab.”

It was a good thing Raph was already sitting because it felt like the world had just dropped from him. That bastard had to have planted the idea in Donny’s head. It was his way of outing Raph without actually breaking his promise not to say anything. 

“Okay,” Leo agreed as he shut off the television. “Gear up. It’s time to go.”

Running across the rooftops was becoming increasingly difficult. Raph’s lungs did not have the room to expand due to the eggs so he tired quickly but he was not about to let his brothers see it. Somehow, he managed to keep up with them. 

If his mind was in turmoil before then the knowledge that, in a few hours, his life was going to turned upside down had him in a near state of panic. It was a weight of dread that nearly crippled him. He wanted desperately for it all to go away. 

Lost in his thoughts, Raph almost missed the signal to stop. It didn’t go unnoticed. Leo placed his hand on Raph’s shoulder. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Raph assured him. “I was looking off to the side when you gave the signal.”

Leo looked back the way they had come. “Did you see something?”

“I thought I did,” Raph lied. “It was just a cat.”

“It’s good to be alert,” Leo said with a nod. Satisfied that they were not in immediate danger, he scanned the streets below. 

They were in Purple Dragon territory. The recent activity of the gang raised suspicion and Leo was convinced that something big was happening tonight. He felt responsible for their rise in power and made it his mission to thwart them whenever possible. Every police officer who died at the hands of a dragon was a personal blow. 

“Look,” Donny said, pointing to an approaching van. He lowered his military grade goggles to have a better look. “There are four men and several large crates in there. Judging by the heat coming off those crates,” Donny lifted the goggles to look at Leo, “I’d bet my shell that it’s Triceriton tech.” 

“We cannot let that tech fall into the wrong hands,” Leo said as he studied the scene below. “Follow that van.”

As they sped off along the roof tops, Mikey pulled up next to Don. “Looks like you’ll be getting a new van and some new toys tonight, Donny-boy.”

“Don’t get over confidant,” Leo warned. “And don’t underestimate our opponent.”

“I know, Leo.” Mikey rolled his eyes. It wasn’t like they haven’t heard the same lecture over and over again. “The Dragons are bad and well-armed and Hun is more dangerous since he’s been mutated. I’ll be careful.”

“A new van would be nice,” Donny whispered to Mikey with a smile. “I can strip it for parts.”

Raph knew better than to participate in the banter. He needed to conserve his breath and if he spoke, they would be able to tell that he was winded. 

They followed the van to an abandoned hotel. It had once been an immaculate hotel but a lightning strike, nearly a decade ago, had caused more damage than the owners could afford to repair. 

“What, we’re not going to a warehouse on the docks?” Mikey scoffed as he watched the van pull into the parking garage. “Don’t these thugs know anything about how this is supposed to be done? That said, I will give them a ‘B’ for not being overly cliché.”

“That’s enough, Mikey.” Leo backhanded Mikey’s arm. “You can joke about it when we’re back, safe in the lair. ”

The building was far from secure, by any definition. Missing walls made entry into the structure easy. Missing floorboards meant that the floor could give out at any moment. 

The room that they were in was two floors up and bare. Anything of value that had been left behind by the owners had been picked clean long ago. Since it was left open to the elements, the room smelled of mildew. Raph’s stomach churned but he managed to keep his composure. 

Fortunately, they were not in the room long. They made their way to the hallway and down the elevator shaft to the lobby where the stench of mildew was replaced by the scent of stale air and dust. From there, it was a short run across the lobby to the parking garage. 

The van sat, idle on the ground level with several Purple Dragons leaning against it as they waited. Hun stood back against a pillar, closer to the entrance, watching for the potential buyers. 

Raph couldn’t help but smile anytime he saw Hun. He was one ugly turtle and Raph took pride in knowing he played a part in his mutation. 

“Buyer must be running late,” Donny whispered.

“Lucky for us,” Mikey replied. 

Leo narrowed his eyes as he surveyed the parking garage. “Something doesn’t feel right.”

“I agree,” Raph whispered. A prickling on the back of Raph’s neck had him turning in time to see two thugs take aim. “It’s a trap!” he warned, rushing to meet the assailants head on. 

Dodging and weaving, Raph was not an easy target and despite how tired he already was, he pushed himself to fight. He threw his sai at the closest gunman, disarming him so that he could move in close for a solid punch. 

“Mikey, help Raph,” Leo ordered. “Don, you’re with me. We still have to make sure there is nothing in that van.” 

As Mikey cut back to take on the second gunman, Leo and Don lunged forward towards the van. 

Movement caught Raph’s eye. There was a third gunman in the shadows and Mikey didn’t see him. 

….

“Raph!”

The way Mikey had called out their brother’s name sent a chill up Leo’s spine. It was not a cry of warning but one of horrifying fear. The fact that the sound of gun fire was also coming from that direction did nothing to ease Leo’s worry. 

Leo sent his blade through the gut of one of the thugs. He stopped caring long ago about trying his best not to kill. These men had committed such horrendous crimes that they did not deserve mercy. The more of them they killed the fewer they would have to deal with later. 

“What’s in the van?” Leo demanded, eager to get this over with so he could find out what was going on with Mikey and Raph. 

“Weapons,” Donny replied from the back of the van as he kicked a Purple Dragon in the face. “And lots of them. This wasn’t a setup, at least not for us.”

Three bright red cars pulled into the garage but immediately backed out and left. Whoever Hun had a deal with didn’t seem to care for a fight. 

“You fucking freaks botched my deal,” Hun roared.

Leo readied himself to face Hun as the mountainous cross between a man and a turtle barreled forward. Hun was a strong opponent before. His mutation made him stronger. This was not going to be an easy fight.

As he charged Leo, Hun glanced up as if some movement had caught his eye. Fear spread across his features as he came to a halt. His eyes remained glued to something behind Leo and he faltered backward before turning tail to run. The remaining Dragons who were able, followed after him. 

Curious to know what had caused the sudden fear, Leo turned to see Silver Sentry hovering behind him. 

“Where is Michelangelo?” Silver Sentry asked as he landed. 

“There.” Leo pointed to the hotel entrance, noting that the gun fire had stopped. “Why are you here?”

“I had given Mikey a way to contact me if he ever got himself in a situation that was over his head,” Silver Sentry explained. “Are you in trouble? I told him that it was only to be used in emergencies.”

Fear washed over Leo as he rushed towards where his brothers should be. “Mikey? Raph?”

“This way,” Silver Sentry said, leading the way. “I can see them over there, just beyond that fallen pillar.”

“Guys? Say something,” Leo called out as he stepped over a body. They guy’s skull was cracked. From the look of it, it was done by a blunt object like a nunchaku. Something was wrong. Leo might have come to terms with killing but Mikey hadn’t. 

When his brothers came into view, Leo feared the worst. There were two other bodies on the ground, one of them looked like it was beaten well past death. Mikey was covered in blood, cradling a prone Raphael.

Mikey’s hand was pressed against Raph’s abdomen and he was muttering something under his breath. When he noticed them approaching, Mikey grabbed his nunchakus, ready to attack. 

Leo paused and held up his hands. “Mikey, it’s me.”

“Leo,” Mikey sobbed in relief. “Raph’s been shot.” His eyes drifted past Leo to Silver Sentry. “I didn’t know what else to do.” The tears that fell from his eyes ran streaks down his blood-stained cheeks. Trembling, Mikey looked around them. “I think I killed these men.”

“It’s okay,” Leo soothed as he kneeled down next to Raph to assess the damage. 

Dark blood seeped from under Mikey’s hand, indicating that Raph’s wound was deep. Leo leaned over to look into Raph’s eyes. “You’re gonna be okay.” He wasn’t sure if he believed his own words. 

“D…don’t… save… mmm,” Raph rasped. “Get… out….”

“What are you talking about?” Leo shook his head. “Don’t worry about us. Okay? We’re gonna save you.”

“D…don’t… want…,” Raph continued. 

“He’s in shock,” Silver Sentry said as he carefully made his way over to them. “And from the looks of it, so is Mikey. I’ll fly Raphael to the Justice Force headquarters for medical treatment. The rest of you can follow in the van.”

Leo moved aside as Silver Sentry knelt down to pick up Raph. Nothing else was said as the leader of the Justice Force flew away with their brother in his arms. 

With a heavy heart, Leo helped Mikey to his feet. Together they walked back to the waiting van and Donny. 

“What happened?” Donny asked, rushing to meet them. “I saw Silver Sentry flying off with Raph.” He looked Mikey over as his features filled with worry. “Mikey? Look at me.” Donny cradled Mikey face with his hands and tried to make eye contact but Mikey’s eyes were unfocused. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I think he’s just in shock,” Leo explained, passing Mikey over to Donny. “He saw Raph shot and then he killed the men responsible. I think that’s taken a toll on him. Get him in the van.” Leo turned and headed for the driver’s seat. “We have to get to the Justice Force headquarters.”

Chapter 4
Disbelief

Hours passed as they waited for news of Raph’s condition in a private room within the Justice Force headquarters. Leonardo had called their father, who now sat in a corner, meditating, no doubt feeling out Raph’s aura. As long as Splinter was calm, Leo knew that Raph was still alive. 

Splinter’s eyes opened and he looked at the door just before it opened. Silver Sentry stepped into the room and gave them a reassuring nod. “Raphael will be fine. The good news is, there was no internal damage. The bad news is…, the bullet pierced one of the eggs. There was no way we could save it but it looks like the others will be alright.”

Relieved, Leo let out a sigh as he rubbed the bridge between his eyes. It took a moment for all of Silver Sentry’s words to take hold. “Wait,” Leo said, looking up as he went over it again in his head. “Eggs?”

“So, you didn’t know,” Silver Sentry stated, nodding his head. “I had a feeling that would be the case.”

“Um.... Raph’s a boy,” Mikey said and looked at Leo. “Isn’t he?”

“He is….” Leo sat down hard as he tried to wrap his mind around it. “I didn’t know. If I had known, I wouldn’t have let him go on the mission.”

“The doctors say that Raphael is intersex, also known as a hermaphrodite,” Silver Sentry explained. “There’s a good chance that he didn’t know and had just assumed that he was under the weather.”

Silver Sentry’s statement triggered the memory of the earlier conversation Leo had with Raph. “Raph knew.” Leo turned his attention to Donny. “He went to see Leatherhead not too long ago, when he was sick and you were busy. Why wouldn’t Leatherhead tell us?”

“I would assume Raph swore him to secrecy,” Donny replied. “But, this would explain why Leatherhead had suggested that I update your medical files. Maybe it was his way of trying to tell me without actually telling me and breaking his promise.”

“Dude, you’re gonna be a dad,” Mikey said to Leo in disbelief. 

“When Raph had asked me about having kids, I had no idea it was even a possibility,” Leo confessed. “He must have been afraid to tell me and was… testing me.”

“What did you say,” Splinter asked, “when he asked about your feelings towards having children?”

Guilt had a knot forming in Leo’s throat. Covering his face with his hands, he took a few steading breaths before answering. “I told him that I was glad that we couldn’t.” He looked at his father, struggling to keep his emotions in check. “I told him that even if it was possible that I wouldn’t want to. I can’t even imagine how much pain my words had caused him.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Donny soothed. “You said it yourself. You had no idea it was even a possibility.”

Leo got to his feet and faced Silver Sentry. “Can I go see him?” He needed to see Raph, to let him know that everything was going to be alright. 

Silver Sentry nodded. “He’s out of surgery but is still sedated. It will take a while for the drugs to wear off.”

“I’d like to be there when he wakes up,” Leo said. 

“This way,” Silver Sentry said, heading towards the door. 

“We’ll wait here,” Splinter said, holding Mikey back but looking at Leo. “You and Raphael have much to discuss.”

“Thank you, father,” Leo said, bowing slightly before turning to follow Silver Sentry. 

Raph was resting in a small, dimly lit room. His midsection was tightly bandaged and he was connected to several machines that monitored his vitals. There was a chair next to the bed but no other furniture. Leo sat, grabbed hold of Raph’s hand and waited. 

His mind rushed with all the things that he wanted to say, the main thing being that he was sorry. Finally able to absorb all that had happened, he allowed himself to cry. 

For an unknown amount of time, Leo sat in the dim light, holding Raph’s hand as the tears freely flowed. He was relieved that his brother was going to live but overwhelmed by the fact that he was going to be a father. He had always wanted children, his own students so that he could pass on his father’s teachings. He wished he had expressed that to Raph. 

“I want them,” Leo whispered as he placed one of his hands, gently on Raph’s stomach. 

With a soft grunt, Raph shifted. 

Worried that he was causing Raph’s pain, Leo retracted his hand and went back to cupping both of his hands around Raph’s. “You’re okay, Raph,” he soothed. “You’re safe now.”

Raph struggled to wake, fighting whatever drug that lingered in his system. “Where?”

“Justice Force headquarters,” Leo said, giving Raph’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Do you remember what happened?”

“Dragon was gonna shoot Mikey,” Raph mumbled and his tongue flicked out to wet his lips.

“You saved Mikey,” Leo said. 

Raph’s breathing was deep and slow. “The bullet hit me.” He opened his eyes and tried to focus on Leo. In them, Leo could see the shimmer of tears forming. “It burned and made my whole body hurt.”

Leo nodded his head. “The bullet hit you in the stomach but there was no internal damage… to you.”

Closing his eyes, Raph turned his head away and pulled his hand from Leo’s grip. 

“It only damaged one egg,” Leo told him. “The others are okay. You only lost one.”

Shaking his head, Raph looked at Leo. “I don’t want any of them. If I had been conscious when they brought me in I would have told them to get the damn things out of me.”

Remembering the words Raph had mumbled to him before Silver Sentry carried him away, Leo felt his heart drop and he fought the new flood of tears that threatened to fall. Raph wasn’t asking Leo to forget about him and save himself. He was telling Leo not to save the eggs. “I am sorry that I made you feel that way.”

Shaking his head, Raph scoffed. “I wanted to get rid of them the moment I found out about them. My conversation with you only strengthened my resolve.”

“Raph….” Leo couldn’t believe what his brother was saying. 

“You were right, Leo,” Raph said. “Having kids would be a bad idea. It would be dangerous and unfair to them.”

“What were you going to do?” Leo asked, unable to hide the accusation in his voice. “You couldn’t hide them.”

Raph shrugged and looked away. “Drop them into the Hudson and no one would know.”

Leo had a hard time believing that his brother could be so cold. “They’re our babies.”

“They’re…,” Raph’s voice choked off and he had to clear his throat. “They’re not babies yet.” Leo reached out for Raph again but Raph pulled away. “Can you ask the doctor to come in here? I wanna ask if they can help me get rid of’em.”

“I don’t want you to,” Leo argued. 

“It’s not your choice,” Raph snapped back. “They’re in me, and I don’t want them.”

“Why?” Leo rasped. 

“I don’t want kids,” Raph replied as his eyes filled with tears. “I shouldn’t be able to have kids. I hate this. I just want it to go away.”

Leo shook his head. “I can’t let you hurt them. Once you lay the eggs, it’s no longer your choice.”

“Then I guess I gotta get the doctors to help me slush them out of my body before they’re ready,” Raph said, glaring at Leo. 

“No one here will help you do that,” Leo said. 

“I don’t want them,” Raph yelled. 

“It isn’t only about you,” Leo yelled back. “I know you’re scared….”

“I’m not scared,” Raph interrupted. 

“They why don’t you want them?” Leo snapped back. 

“Because I don’t want to be a girl,” Raph shouted. “I don’t want everyone to look at them and know what I am.”

There is was, the real reason behind Raph’s actions. He was more worried about how everyone would view him, than anything else. Leo sneered. “That’s a selfish reason not to want them. They’re innocent babies. They deserve a chance at life.”

“Go away,” Raph said in a choked whisper, unable to look Leo in the eyes. 

“I’m not gonna leave you,” Leo insisted. 

Lip trembling, Raph glared up at his brother. “You not leaving me the fuck alone is the reason I’m in this mess. Now, go away.”

“No,” Leo said softly, shaking his head. “I love you.”

“Then make this all go away,” Raph pleaded. 

“We’ll get through this,” Leo soothed. He reached out but, once again, Raph pulled away from him. 

“I don’t want to get through it, I want to get rid of it.” Clinching his fists, Raph brought them down hard on either side of his abdomen. 

Leo was on him in an instant, grabbing both of Raph’s wrists to keep him still. It was a good thing that Raph was still mildly sedated, Leo was able to hold him down with little effort. 

Raph struggled against Leo’s grip, crying out, “Get away from me!”

One of the doctors rushed into the room, followed by another. “What’s going on?” he demanded. “His stress levels are elevated. Get off him or you risk breaking the stiches.”

“He’s trying to hurt himself,” Leo answered, keeping a strong grip on Raph’s wrists. 

Raph gave up on his struggle against Leo and turned his attention to the doctor. “Get these things out of me. I don’t want them.”

“The eggs? There is no point in going through another surgery,” the doctor told them. “The eggs will come out on their own any day now.”

“So, they are already formed, shell and all,” Leo asked the doctor. “There is nothing you can do at this point?”

The doctor nodded his head. “Yes. They are complete and ready to come out. Aside from crushing them, they are going to live with or without Raphael.”

Leo looked down at Raph. “Just a few more days and they will be out, and their fate will no longer be just your decision.”

“I hate you,” Raph said through gritted teeth. “I hate you for doing this to me.”

Chapter 5
Done

Raph’s cries of pain could be heard echoing down the hall. Leonardo and his brothers waited for news while their father and the Justice Force doctors assisted Raph with the delivery. The biggest concern was that Raph had not had adequate time to heal and there was a risk of popping the stiches. 

The whole situation had Leonardo battling conflicting emotions. He was excited about being a father but he worried about what it was doing to Raph psychologically. He did not like being seen as weak. 

Time seemed to creep by and with every passing second Leo prayed that Raph’s physical pain would end so they could get to work healing him emotionally. 

The yelling stopped and Leo held his breath, expecting it to start up again at any minute. It wouldn’t have been the first time there was a lull. When he heard the sound of the door opening, he stood and looked down the long hallway. 

One of the doctors wheeled a cart into another room, followed by another. It was done, but still, Leo waited. It wasn’t until Splinter stepped out of the room and signaled for him, did Leo dare to head towards the room. 

“Is he okay?” Leo asked as he approached his father. 

“He managed to deliver the eggs without issue,” Splinter replied. “However, I would not go so far as to say that he is okay. Your brother’s mind is a torrent of emotions. He will not talk to me. He won’t even look at me and he pulls away when I try to touch him.”

Leo looked past his father, into the room. “Can I go in and talk to him?”

Splinter’s ears flattened as he let out a soft sigh. “You can try. I will leave you two alone.”

“Thank you,” Leo said, keeping his eyes fixed on Raph. 

He waited for his father to leave before slowly making his way into the room. Raph was lying in bed in a slightly elevated position, looking up at nothing. He looked beaten both physically and emotionally. 

Leo inched his way closer to his brother, fighting the urge to reach out to him. “Raph?”

“Go away,” Raph mumbled, without looking over. 

Leo wasn’t ready to give up just yet. “I know this is hard for you….”

Turning his head, Raph glared at Leo. “Go away!”

“Please,” Leonardo said, struggling to fight back tears. “Don’t push me away. I love you.”

“I don’t,” Raph choked out, turning his head to once again look at the ceiling. “Leave me alone.”

Leo’s heart broke. Things were finally starting to work between him and Raph. He didn’t want to lose what they had. “What do I have to do to fix this?”

“Make it all go away,” Raph replied as tears ran down his cheeks. “Make them all forget. Wake me up from this nightmare. I don’t want to be this anymore.”

“I can’t undo what’s happened,” Leo said, taking a few deep breaths to keep his voice steady. “If I could, I would go back in time and prevent this from happening. But, what would you have me do? Break the eggs? End the lives of our children all because you’re ashamed and afraid of what people are gonna think of you? I can’t do that and I know that, despite the way you’re feeling right now, you wouldn’t want that either.”

Raph rolled on his side, turning away from Leo and signaling that their conversation was over. From the way he moved, it was plan to see that he was in a great deal of pain. 

Knowing that he wasn’t going to get any further with Raph, Leo backed out of the room. “Okay. I’ll give you some space. Just… I want you to know that I’m not giving up on us. I love you.”

Raph stayed silent. 

With a heavy heart, Leo walked out of the room and headed down the hall to where the doctors had taken the eggs. Mikey rushed up to him the moment he entered the room. 

“The doctors say that three of the eggs have heartbeats inside and that one is most likely a dud but they are keeping it in the incubator just in case.”

“He was adamant about being the one to tell you all of that,” Donny said as he approached. “I think he’s more excited than you are.”

“What’s not to be excited about?” Mikey said with a huge grin. “I’m gonna have nibbles.”

Pinching the bridge between his eyes, Donny let out a groan. “Niblings, Mikey. The word you are looking for is niblings.”

Despite his breaking heart, Leo laughed at his brothers’ antics. They continued to banter back and forth like an old married couple while Leo made his way to the eggs. They were smaller than he had expected. Tentatively, he reached out to run his fingers along the surface of one. It was warm. 

“This is really happening,” he mumbled to himself. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think that he would have children of his own. He was overwhelmed, unsure how to feel and unable to fully process it. It was all happening so fast. 

“There are things we must consider,” Splinter stated, coming up to stand next to Leo. “I was fortunate when we were mutated because you and your brothers were no longer infants. Babies are considerably more difficult and there are several things we will need to be able to care for them.”

“Not to mention that their immune systems will be weak,” Donny pointed out. “And we live in the sewers.”

“Too bad we can’t stay here,” Mikey said. “They have everything and it’s clean.”

“Why can’t we stay here,” Donny pointed out. “The Justice Force has offered us a spot on the team before. I’m sure that offer still stands. We’ll have medical care for the babies and a protected place to raise them.”

When the Silver Sentry had originally offered for them to join the team, their lives were completely different. They were fine living on their own. But, now? They needed the help. Leonardo turned to his father. “What do you think?”

“I think your brothers make a good argument,” Splinter replied.

Leo nodded his head. “I will discuss it with Silver Sentry.” 

One of the doctors stepped into the room and looked around. “Oh dear.”

“What is the matter?” Splinter asked. 

The doctor’s eyes searched the room one more time before he looked up at Splinter. “I went in to check on Raphael and discovered that he was not in his room. I came in here to see if he might have come to look at the eggs, but now I see… that… he has… not.”

Leo felt a surge of panic but managed to keep his composure. “Raph’s not in his room?”

The doctor shook his head. “No.”

“Do you think he’s run off,” Mikey gave voice to everyone’s fears. 

“Maybe he hasn’t gotten far.” Leo bolted from the room. “Spread out and search.”

Leo started in the room where Raph was supposed to be recovering, scanning for any sign of how Raph had left. The window was solid and unable to open and the ventilation system was too narrow for Raph to crawl through. Just in case, Leo searched the room to make sure Raph wasn’t hiding somewhere inside. Those options were limited due to the fact that the room was sparsely furnished. 

After he was sure Raph was indeed no longer in the room. Leo raced towards the nearest exit. He passed Silver Sentry along the way. “Scan the building,” Leo said, pausing briefly. “Make sure Raph isn’t hiding somewhere inside. I’ll search outside.”

“I will help you in every way that I can,” Silver Sentry promised as Leo continued running down the hall. 

They searched until sun up but, despite his injuries, Raphael had managed to give them the slip. The city was big, and he could have been anywhere. He was lost to them. Physically and emotionally drained, Leonardo dropped to his knees and wept the moment he returned to the Justice Force headquarters. 

Michelangelo was by his side in an instant, offering support by simply holding him. There were no words that could be said that would soothe his pain. 

“I am so sorry,” Silver Sentry said. 

“Help him,” Splinter said to Donny. 

Donatello soon joined Mikey at Leo’s side and together they helped their brother too his feet. They led him to a room and helped him into the bed. Donny offered a reassuring smile before he turned to leave, but Leo could see the sorrow in his eyes. 

Raphael had a tendency to run off when he was upset but he usually made a big announcement of it. This time was different. He slipped away without a sound. There was a sinking feeling in Leo’s gut that told him that Raph wasn’t going to be coming back. 

Chapter 6
Discuss 

They were under strict instructions not to handle the eggs but the doctors told Leonardo that the developing babies inside could hear him. So, every night, Leo would read to them. It was important for them to know the sound of his voice. 

When he wasn’t there, he insisted that classical music was played. Occasionally he would play recordings of Raph’s voice. They didn’t have many, but at least the ones they had Raph spoke in an even tone. Even though Raph hadn’t returned, Leo wanted them to know him as well. He still held out hope that Raph would come back. With each passing day, that hope faded and the pain intensified. 

Every night, Leo would search the city in hopes of running into Raph. He knew his chances were slim but he had to try, he couldn’t sit around and do nothing. Notes had been left in the lair just in case Raph returned home, so he would know that they had joined the Justice Force. When Splinter meditated, he would search for Raphael on a spiritual level. Unable to pinpoint Raph’s location, all Splinter could sense was turmoil and pain. 

Time passed and there was no sign of Raph. Wherever he was, he planned on staying there.

As predicted, one of the eggs collapsed after a few days. If there was ever life in it, it did not last. The other three continued to develop. Small noises could be heard coming from them, ranging from grunts and whimpers to full out crying. 

It wasn’t long before the eggs started to move. 

“Are they going to hatch soon,” Leo asked the doctor who had come in to check on them. 

“It could be a few days or weeks,” the doctor answered. “They will hatch in their own time.” He pointed to one of the eggs. “That one there is going to be the first and it is big. You can see the way the shell is starting to bulge. It’s possible that it will rip its way out soon.” 

Were eggs supposed to be able to bulge like that? Feeling a sudden sense of worry, Leo carefully ran his hand over one of the eggs. He could feel that the shell wasn’t as solid as it had originally been. “Is this normal?”

“Yes,” the doctor replied, putting Leo’s mind at ease. “They absorb everything during their development, including the nutrients from the shell, causing it to weaken. When they start to hatch, we’ll have to play it by ear. The fact that they are mutant turtles makes this a learning experience for all of us.”

After spending a few more minutes with the eggs, Leo turned on some music and started on his way out to search for Raph. As he made his way down the hall, Donny approached him. 

“How long are you going to continue doing this,” he asked, coming up to walk beside him. 

Leo glanced over at his brother and shrugged. “Until I find him.”

“And then what?” Grabbing Leo’s hand, Donny forced him to stop. 

“I don’t know,” Leo admitted, pulling his hand out of his brother’s grip, “but I have to try. Those eggs are going to hatch any day now.”

Donny scoffed. “Raph doesn’t want to be here for that. He doesn’t want anything to do with them. He’s made that perfectly clear.”

“He wasn’t thinking clearly,” Leo argued, struggling to keep his emotions in check. “Everything had happened so fast. He was scared and confused.”

Shaking his head, Donny replied, “He’s had plenty of time to think. You have to come to terms with the fact that he does not want to be found.”

“Maybe he wants to come home but he’s afraid,” Leo said, still not willing to give up. “The more time that passes, the harder it is for him. If I find him and let him know that everything will be okay….”

“You need to stop doing this to yourself,” Donny stated plainly. “When the babies hatch, they are going to need you here. Not out frivolously searching for Raph.”

“I can’t give up,” Leo choked out, turning away in an attempt to hide his tears. It was hard for him to show any sign of weakness. But, he was worn down, making it almost impossible to stop. 

Stepping around Leo, Donny stood in front of him to look him in the eyes. “He’ll come home when he’s ready. Come on. You need to get some sleep.” It was strange hearing those words from Donny, who was notorious for staying up late. 

Physically and emotionally exhausted, Leo gave in and allowed Donny to lead him down the hall. What was one night? He will indulge his brother tonight and set out again tomorrow. 

He was expecting Donny to take him to his room but they passed it and continued to Mikey’s room. Confused, Leo looked at Donny. “Why are we here?”

“To sleep,” Donny answered as a matter of fact, opening the door. “We thought it would be best if you weren’t alone. Physical contact with another, even something as basic as a hug, can greatly help relieve… a great many things.”

Mikey had been pacing the room and ran to them when they entered. “Oh, good. You convinced him to stay!” The look of relief faded into one of sorrow as he pulled Leo into a warm hug. “We’re here for you, Leo.”

It did feel good to be hugged and his pain subsided, just a little. Leo allowed himself to be lost in the moment. 

When they parted, Leo looked around Mikey’s room and noticed a few of Donny’s things scattered around. This included a book on physics sitting on a small table next to the bed. From the looks of it, Donny’s things had been here for a while. “Do you guys usually sleep together?”

“Every night for the past few months,” Donny said. 

“We’re a couple now,” Mikey added and Leo felt his jaw go slack.  

“How…?” Leo had a hard time wrapping his mind around such a thing. “When did you guys decide to get together?”

While Donny helped Leo out of his gear, Mikey turned down the sheets. “When you and Raph started your relationship. I got it into my head that I wanted to be in one too. So, I started pursuing Donny.”

The bed was a large tatami. This was preferable for Mikey since he had a tendency to roll off the bed. If he rolled off a tatami, at least he didn’t fall on his way to the floor. How Donny managed to sleep next to someone who moved so much was beyond Leo’s comprehension. 

“Mikey was horrible at flirting.” Donny chuckled softly while he recalled the memory. “I thought all he wanted was a partner for sex so I turned him down.”

“What changed your mind,” Leo asked, genuinely intrigued. If any two were polar opposites, it was Mikey and Donny.   

Donny shrugged. “He convinced me that he wanted more.”

Mikey flopped down on the bed. “We had to date for a while before anything physical could happen. We just spent time together, doing stuff. I liked it. We found out we liked a lot of the same things.”

Sitting on the bed, Leo thought of his relationship with Raph and he struggled with a new set of tears that threatened to fall. “Maybe that’s all I was for Raph, someone to go to for sex. That’s why it was so easy for him to leave. He never truly loved me.”

“Well then he doesn’t deserve you,” Mikey snapped.

“Mikey,” Donny chided, sitting on the bed. 

“What?” Mikey shot back. 

“It’s okay,” Leo said, before the two of them could start arguing. “I don’t want what’s happened between me and Raph to come between the two of you.” Raw emotions had led Leo to say too much. He had to get out of there before he said more. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not,” Donny insisted. When Leo moved to get up, Donny grabbed hold of him. “We both want you to stay, for as long as you like.”

“We love you, Leo,” Mikey added. “You shouldn’t be alone.”

Unsure if he was reading more into their words than they had intended to say, Leo stumbled over his words. “I’m… uh… not ready.”

Understanding flashed in Donny’s eyes and he shook his head. “All we want is for you to sleep. Nothing more. We’re here for you, Leo.”

“I don’t know if this is appropriate,” Leo argued. 

Lifting an eye ridge, Donny asked, “Why?”

“I’m your leader,” Leo replied. 

“You’re our brother first,” Mikey pointed out. “And, as your brothers, you’re allowed to open up to us. You’re allowed to be vulnerable.”

“Allowing us to care for you now, will not change our ability to follow you later,” Donny stated. 

“Alright,” Leo agreed and the rest of the walls came down. “To be honest, I would appreciate the company.”

They positioned themselves so that Leo was in the middle. Once again Leo thought about how Mikey tended to move in his sleep and began to wonder if he had made the right decision. 

“He was only restless because he was sleeping alone,” Donny whispered as if he could read Leo’s thoughts. “He’s slept peacefully since I’ve started sleeping next to him. Remember how still he used to be when we were kids, huddled together on a pile of tattered blankets?”

“I missed those days,” Mikey wistfully mumbled. 

“He’s also quick to fall asleep,” Donny chuckled. “I find myself sleeping better too. I actually look forward to it now. This relationship is good for us both. Even Splinter has noticed our improvements.”

“I’m happy for you,” Leo said in earnest. Sleep usually didn’t come easy for him but as soon as he settled into a comfortable position, he was out. 

(g)Alba, Savio, Nevio 
Chapter 7
Deliver  

Leonardo has spent the remainder of the week sharing his brothers’ bed. Admittedly, it helped with his anxieties and each morning he woke feeling refreshed. 

It was odd, sleeping between lovers, knowing that, even though they didn’t out right say it, they wanted him to be part of their relationship. It wasn’t that he was opposed to the idea. He simply couldn’t bring himself to do it without Raphael. 

A compromise had been reached with Donatello. The search would continue, just not every night. It helped to know that the whole of the Justice Force was assisting in the search. If they were ever to spot Raphael, they were to contact Leo immediately. 

Leonardo knew that Donny wanted him to let Raph go, but he wasn’t capable of doing that. There was a nagging in the back of his mind that told him that he needed to find him and Splinter agreed. Their father wanted Raph found as much as Leo. 

As Leo readied himself to go out on patrol, one of the doctors rushed up to him. “One of the eggs is hatching!”

Filled with a strange mix of emotions, the world seemed to stop. He had hoped to find Raph before they hatched. Despite everything he held on to the belief that they could be happy together. It pained him that Raph was not here for this joyous moment. 

Leaving his swords, Leo followed the doctor. It felt surreal, knowing that he was on his way to see a child he created. “Which one is hatching,” Leo asked. 

“The big one,” the doctor answered. “We think his movement is what caused the shell to rip.”

The cries of the hatching baby echoed down the corridor. The clarity of them led Leo to believe that, at the very least, the face was exposed. Spurred by desire, Leo’s fast walk turned into a trot. 

Splinter, Mikey, and Don were already in the nursery, watching from a distance. They had all agreed that they would do their best to make sure Leo would be the first person the babies see. 

“Good thing you got here so fast,” another doctor said. “He is making quick work shredding that shell. He wants out.”

A nurse pulled Leo aside before he had the chance to rush over to his son. “Wash your hands,” she instructed. When Leo hesitated, she insisted. “He’s not going anywhere. You don’t want him to get sick, do you?”

Begrudgingly, Leo did as he was instructed. The whole time Leo scrubbed his hands and arms, his heart pounded. When the nurse was satisfied, she handed Leo a towel. “Now go see your baby.”

With his stomach in knots, Leo crossed the room. The shell was almost completely ripped apart, exposing most of the baby within. It cried out in frustration as it fought against the remains. 

Looking down at it, Leo felt himself filled with an intense amount of love. He had no idea that such a feeling was possible. He would gladly give his life for the small creature in front of him while, at the same time, feeling as if he had a renewed desire to live. 

His body moved on its own, carefully picking the rest of the shell off the baby. Terrified and elated, Leo slid his hand under its head and bottom and lifted it up. 

There was a delicate balance to holding a squirming baby. He needed to be firm enough not to drop it but gentle enough not to harm. 

“Hey,” Leo whispered, realizing that he had yet to say anything. 

The baby stilled, its green eyes trying to focus on him, and cooed. Leo wondered if it was simply responding to his voice or it recognized it. 

A doctor appeared at Leo’s side. “Let me give it a look over.” When Leo turned to hand the baby over, the doctor shook his head. “You can still hold it, for now,” he said as he put the stethoscope in his ears. “I’ll take him in a second to weigh him.”

The doctor looked the baby over from head to toe. As he gently pressed on the baby’s belly, the plastron parted. A tiny penis emerged and the doctor managed to cover it with a towel before the baby relieved himself. 

“Well,” the doctor chuckled. “It’s a boy.”

The doctor relieved Leo of the baby so that he could finish his checkup. As soon as he was out of Leo’s hands, the baby started to cry again. Once it was cleaned, weighed, and fitted with a diaper, the doctor handed him back to Leo. 

He had read that skin to skin contact was important for a developing child so Leo held him against his chest and the disgruntled cries once again faded. Kissing his head, Leo took in his son’s scent. 

“Can we come see him now,” Mikey asked. 

Leonardo had been so wrapped up in the moment that he had forgotten about them. “Yeah,” he said and made his way to them. He turned so that they could look at the baby but wasn’t ready to relinquish him to them yet. 

“He’s beautiful,” Splinter said, placing a hand on the small carapace. 

Mikey tilted his head and moved in for a closer look. “I think he looks more like you. His skin seems to match yours. With the arrival of this guy, does that mean you’ll be staying in tonight?”

Leo nodded. “I guess I’ll go tomorrow night.”

“What if one of the other eggs hatches tomorrow night?” Donny pointed out. 

Leo looked back at the other two eggs. “I’m not giving up on Raph.”

“I know you don’t want to,” Donny sighed. “But, it’s been months. We don’t know where he is and, if he hasn’t returned by now….”

“I know he is still close,” Splinter said. “But his mind is too turbulent so I cannot sense where.”

“It’s because he doesn’t wat you to find him,” Donny argued. 

“I will find him,” Leo said, looking Donatello in the eyes. 

“I hope you do,” Donny replied, though his doubts bled into his words. 

…..

Sleep, with a newborn, is an elusive thing. Every noise had Leo alert and ready to get up at a moment’s notice. It was a rough first night. 

It was fortunate for Leonardo that he had help. Donatello offered to watch the baby so he could catch up on his sleep, though his desire to be with his child kept him from it. The best he could manage was a light doze. 

After his unsuccessful nap, Leonardo spent some quality time with his child. Wanting to keep him engaged, Leo continued to speak about anything and everything. He kept his tone level and soft, making sure to speak clearly. 

“I think I’ve come up with a name for you,” Leo said as he changed the baby’s diaper, taking care not to aggravate the yolk sack. “Savio. I have decided to stick with the Italian theme.”

Savio’s green eyes stayed fixed on Leo and he cooed in response.

“You like that name?” Leo smiled down at his son when he cooed again. “Good,” Leo chuckled. 

“I like it too,” Donny said from the doorway, causing Leo to turn. 

“Hey,” Leo greeted his brother. 

“You seem to be taking to fatherhood well,” Donny said with a smile. “I expected as much.”

“Thank you, for… helping me,” Leo said. “I don’t think I would be able to do this alone.”

“I don’t want to just help,” Donny stated. “You don’t have to try to do it yourself and only come to us when you need it. Mikey and I want to be as involved with the children as you are; to care for and love them as if they were our own.”

Donny walked over to stand close to Leo and looked down at Savio. “I never thought love could come so easily.”

“I know what you mean,” Leo said, keeping his eyes fixed on his child. “It’s almost overwhelming.” A wave of sorrow overcame Leo and he had to blink to keep his vision clear. “I wish Raph was here to see him. Maybe he’d feel the same.”

Leaning in, Don nuzzled Leo. “I wish there was something I could do to end your pain. I hate seeing you suffer like this.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” Leo whispered. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Donny promised. 

As Leo turned his head, Donny tilted his so that their lips met. It was brief. It would have been easy to turn it into something more but Leo turned his head away. 

“I’m sorry,” Donny quickly said. 

“It’s alright,” Leo said and picked up Savio. “I would like to explore this more. I’m just… not ready.”

“I know,” Donny said apologetically. “But, when you are, Mikey and I… would be more than happy to share our love with you.”

Leo looked at Donny and lifted an eye ridge. “You’ve really talked to Splinter about this?” When Donny nodded his head, Leo shook his. “How on Earth did you convince him to be okay with it? He gave me strict rules when I talked to him about starting a relationship with Raph.”

“Simple.” A sly smile graced Don’s face. “I’m a genius.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Leo laughed. 

Donny simply shrugged in response.  

Splinter entered the room. There was a look of urgency on his face mixed with worry and Leo knew that his father wasn’t there to inform him that another egg was hatching. “Silver Sentry has news about your brother,” he said and then turned to leave, expecting Leo and Don to follow. 

“Maybe we can finally get you some closure,” Donny said before following Splinter. 

Silver Sentry was waiting for them in a briefing room along with Mikey, who was staring intently at his hero. It was apparent that Silver Sentry was waiting for everyone to show before saying anything and it was driving Mikey crazy. 

“Have a seat,” Silver Sentry said as they entered the room. 

“Father said that you had news about Raph,” Leo said as he sat down in one of the many chars. Savio rested quietly in his lap. 

Silver sentry nodded. “I’m afraid that it is not good.”

“Did you find him,” Mikey asked, unable to stay seated. 

“I am afraid that we do not know where he is,” Silver Sentry replied. “What we do know is that… Hun has him. He’s had him all this time but it was only recently that one of our informants found out.”

Leonardo felt his heart sink into his stomach. The reason Raphael hadn’t come home was because he was being held captive. His mind rushed with all the terrible things that Hun could be doing to him. They all knew that he blamed Raph for his mutation. 

“You don’t know where Hun might be holding him,” Splinter asked. 

Silver Sentry shook his head. “Hun knows how to hide things from even me. My guess is that he has Raphael hidden in one of his many warehouses. It’s possible that he moves him to keep anyone but his most trusted Dragons from knowing where he is.”

“Are you sure he’s still alive?” Mikey choked out. 

“I would know if he was dead,” Splinter insisted.

“According to my informant, he is still alive,” Silver Sentry replied. “Hun wants Raphael alive.”

“To prolong his suffering,” Leo added as he stared blankly at nothing. The idea of Raph being held by that monster left Leo numb. 

Donny dropped to his knees in front of Leo, placing his hands over Leo’s. “I’m so sorry,” he wept. “I’m sorry I ever doubted him. I will redouble my efforts. I will find him.”

Although there was determination in Donny’s words. Leo couldn’t help but lose hope. 

….

Raphael often dreamed about home. He could hear his father’s voice in the distance but he lacked the strength to call back. 

A musky odor invaded his senses. At first his dream interpreted it as his father’s incense but as he started to wake he realized that the smell was marijuana. Hun was there. 

The drug further clouded his already muggy mind. Raphael opened his eyes to see Hun only inches away, blowing smoke in his face. A dark smile spread across Hun’s face. “Found out something interesting today.”

“I don’t care,” Raph mumbled. 

Every time Raph’s brothers disrupt the Purple Dragon’s operations, Hun takes it out on Raph. The worse the beating the greater the loss suffered by the gang. Raph found comfort in that fact and it kept him from falling into despair. 

“My doctors know I want you alive,” Hun said after taking a long drag from his blunt. “After that last beating, they wanted to make sure that I didn’t do any internal damage.”

“That’s so kind of them,” Raph said, sifting against his restraints. “Remind me to thank them later.” He glanced over at Hun. “You have any food. The second hand high you’re giving me has given me the munchies.”

“Do you know what they found?” Hun continued, ignoring Raph’s words.

“That you’re pathetic,” Raph replied with a smile. 

Hun blew more smoke in Raph’s face. “You are a girl.”

“What?” A heavy weight of despair pressed down on Raph. 

“I haven’t been able to be with a woman since you did this to me.” Hun grabbed Raph’s thigh and forced his legs apart. “I think I’ve found a way to finally break you.”

Chapter 8
Determined

The need to find and rescue Raph conflicted with Leonardo’s desire to be there when his children hatched. He wanted his face to be the first thing his children saw but Raph was suffering at the hands of Hun, he needed to be rescued.

The fact that the remaining two eggs began to hatch early in the day helped, since he and his brothers could only search for Raph during the night. Though his bonding time would be cut short, it looked as if Leonardo would be able to do both. 

Donatello held Savio while Leonardo stood, watching the two eggs moving. Splinter and Mikey were also there, lending support and eager to see the babies. 

Cries could be heard coming from the eggs as the babies fought to break free. Savio’s head rested on Donny’s shoulder. He cooed and babbled as if he were encouraging his siblings. Hatching had been easy for him. He was so big that the shell could no longer hold him. His siblings, however, were smaller so it took more work on their part. 

A small tear formed on one of the eggs and it wasn’t long before the baby inside ripped its way out. It was lighter in color than Savio, closer to Leo’s skin tone than Raph’s. Leonardo’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of it.

With a nod from the doctor, Leo cleared the remaining shell off the baby and picked it up. As soon as he nestled his baby against his chest it settled down. After a few sniffles, it calmed completely. 

“Hello, my little one,” he whispered to it. 

Leo was allowed to hold it for a while before one of the doctors came up to take the it to give it a checkup. As Leo waited he turned his attention to the final egg. The shell rippled as the baby moved inside but it held strong, refusing to tear. 

“What if it’s not strong enough,” Leo asked another doctor. 

“We’ll help it,” she answered. 

The baby stilled and its muffled cries could be heard from within. It must have been tired after so much effort with no progress.  

Becoming impatient, Leo looked over at the doctor. “Now?”

“A little more time,” she replied with a reassuring tone. “As we explained to you. We don’t want to risk harming the baby by pushing the shell in towards it. It will be safer if it pushes the shell outwards.”

The first doctor returned with the baby swaddled in a blanket and handed it to Leo. “This one is a girl,” he informed him. “As far as we can tell, she is perfectly healthy.”

Leo held his bundled daughter against his chest and softly kissed the top of her head. She cooed a few times and Leo whispered simple responses. 

Their conversation was short lived. She had drifted off to sleep, the energy expended hatching catching up with her.

Once again, the last egg started to move. This time, the shell gave way and a tiny food pushed through. It was immediately pulled back in, probably surprised by the sudden rush of air, and the egg stilled. 

The cries sounded more like screams and at this point Leo had had enough. He turned and handed his daughter to Mikey and then got to work tearing the egg apart. 

With utmost care, Leo pulled the egg away from the small baby within. It was no wonder it had a hard time breaking free. 

As he removed the shell, Leo was surprised to see emerald green patches covering the baby’s leaf green body. There was even a patch over one of its eyes. 

It had worked itself up into such a fit that its whole body was shaking as it hollered. Unlike its siblings, it did not settle as soon as Leo laid it against his chest. It continued to cry as Leo swayed and bounced in an attempt to soothe it. 

“Its yolk sack is depleted,” one of the doctors said, coming to stand next to Leo. “It’s probably hungry.” She placed a pacifier in the baby’s mouth, but it cried around it. After a few attempts, it started to suckle. “Good,” the doctor said. “It suckles. It won’t be a struggle to get it to eat.”

Though it was still sobbing, it had started to calm down. 

“Let me take the baby,” she said, reaching out. “We’ll do a check up and make sure that it eats something.”

Leo had just got the baby to settle down and feared handing it over would cause it to cry again. Hesitating for a moment, he handed the baby over to the doctor and was relieved that the baby only sobbed a little.  

As the doctors tended to the smallest baby, Leo turned his attentions to Savio and his sister. Savio was awake, perfectly content to be in Donny’s arms. Leo leaned in to kiss his son’s head before turning his attention to his daughter. 

“What are we going to name you,” he said softly as he looked at his sleeping baby. “What do you guys think of the name Alba?”

“The dawn,” Donny said. Leave it to him to know the meaning behind names. Was there anything he did not know?

“It’s pretty,” Mikey said, flashing a toothy grin as he pointed towards the other baby. “What about patches over there?”

“Well, it’s not gonna be Patches,” Leo said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t want to give him a complex.”

“If you’re going with an Italian theme, how about Nevio,” Donny suggested. “If it’s a boy. I have a feeling it’s a boy.”

Leo looked at his brother. “I have a feeling that there is a reason behind that name.”
 
“You know me too well,” Donny said with a smile. “Roughly translated it means ‘mole on the body’.”

“Clever,” Leo replied flatly. “Mikey’s having an influence on you and I haven’t decided if it’s a good thing or a bad thing yet.”

“It’s a cute name,” Donny said in his defense. “And it fits.”

Leo sighed. “It is cute.” Looking back over his shoulder, Leo saw that the doctor was bringing his youngest back to him. “Nevio it is.”

Nevio was sucking away at a bottle, gasping loudly for breath after several gulps. “It’s a boy,” the doctor said, handing Nevio over. “Look at his eyes.”

Leo took hold of his son, taking care to keep the bottle in his mouth and looked at his eyes. The eye with the patch over it was a bright blue while the other was golden, like Raph’s. “Is everything alright with him?”

The doctor nodded. “He’s fine. Just unique.”

It was a moment that should have been one filled with joy for the small family. Instead, Leonardo was filled with sorrow. Nevio’s golden eye and the way he devoured his food, reminded Leo of Raph and that he needed to be rescued. 

Leo looked at each of the doctors. “Will you be able to help our father take care of the babies while my brothers and I search for Raphael. Three newborns will be a little more than one man can handle.”

“We already have everything set up to do just that,” the lead doctor replied with a smile. “We will assist you in the care of these babies for as long as you need.”

“I thank you and your team for all that you are doing for us,” Leo said. “I don’t know how we would have done any of this without you.”

“Our job is to care for the members of the Justice Force,” the doctor replied. “We know all that you and your family have done for this city, for the world. We take great pride in helping you. Take the opportunity to bond with them now. We will take care of them while you are gone.”

“Thank you,” Leo said. It seemed inadequate to say.

True to their words, the doctors helped Splinter tend to the babies’ needs while Leo and his brothers searched. They did this every night. The Turtles would follow leads supplied to them by the Justice Force’s informants but, due to their low rank, the information was usually old. The Turtles would come up short, with little to no evidence that Hun or Raph had ever been at the location. 

Leonardo watched his children grow and tried not to let his despair over Raph bleed into his time with them. He did his best to focus on them but he knew that they could sense his stress. Nevio would often offer Leo his pacifier, happily putting it back in his mouth whenever Leo refused it. He was hardly ever without it. 

Before they knew it, a year had passed since the day Raph had run away. Leonardo was starting to lose hope that they would ever find him but he refused to give up. 

Every night they went out searching. Every day Donny was on his computer, searching for clues but Hun had managed to find himself some skilled hackers that were good enough to block him out. Splinter meditated, trying to find him spiritually but Raph’s mind remained clouded. 

Leo had spent every day with his children. They had grown so much. He was in the process of getting them settled down for the night. He hated leaving them. 

“I think I found him,” Donny announced as he rushed into the nursery. 

“Are you sure,” Leo asked, approaching his brother. “Where?”

“Instead of trying to hack into the Purple Dragon’s systems, I have been monitoring the activity if Hun’s usual buyers,” Donny said, holding his laptop so Leo could see it. “One of the emails mentioned the location of a Purple Dragon warehouse. We know Hun keeps his inventory close by. There is an abandoned hotel within a mile radius that has an underground bar that had been used during the time of prohibition. Someone’s tried to erase the information about it from the city archives. He’s gotta be there.”

“Then we’ll check it out,” Leo said. “Gear up.”

….

Sitting on his knees, Raphael grunted in pain as he pulled against his restraints.

Hun paced the room, smoking his weed. “When will this be over?” the mob boss grumbled. “I was hoping for a little fun tonight.” He glared down at Raph. “You’re not faking to get out of sex, are you?”

“Your own doctor confirmed it,” Raph snapped back. “How high are you?” Even though he was in excruciating pain, Raph hoped for a long delivery. It was preferable to having Hun rutting over him. 

“Just shit them out already,” Hun complained. “I don’t have all night. I’m meeting a buyer later.”

“I don’t care,” Raph hissed. 

He was tired. Not having a decent meal since Hun had captured him and the high from the smoke wasn’t helping but the urge to push had Raph bearing down with what little strength he had. Pain shot through his lower body in every direction then everything felt numb. The first egg fell from him. 

“That’s it?” Hun said as he leaned down to pick it up. “I was expecting something bigger after all that.”

Raph looked back, his eyes falling on the round white egg. He never took the opportunity to look at his first clutch. It looked so small in Hun’s hand. He couldn’t help but wonder what the baby inside was going to look like. Would it look more like Hun? 

The next thing he knew, Hun’s grip on the egg tightened. 

“No!” Raph pleaded, twisting in a feeble attempt to save it. 

With a crack, the shell broke. Thick liquid oozed down Hun’s arm and he flung it off as he dropped the crushed egg to the floor. “How many more of these do you have in you?”

“That was your child,” Raph whimpered. 

Hun took a long drag from his blunt and then blew the smoke in Raph’s face. “I don’t want’em. Now get this done or I’m just gonna fuck you anyway.” 

Closing his eyes against the tears, Raph fought the urge to breakdown. He could hear Hun laughing as he moved away to continue his pacing. Raph hated Hun’s laugh; the gravely chuckle that found humor in the pain of others. Hun was evil in the purest sense of the word. 

The horrid laughter suddenly ended, followed by a heavy thud and the thick scent of blood.

Afraid to look, Raph froze. 

He didn’t dare hope. He had given up on being rescued long ago. Hun would resume laughing soon. The reason he stopped was because someone had entered the room. The sound and smell were from the intruder’s death. 

“Raph!” 

The voice was Leo’s but Raph still could not allow himself to believe it. He knew he was hallucinating again from the drugs. Hun like to lace his weed with other drugs. Raph was having a bad trip. It was just another hallucination. 

“Is he okay?”

That one sounded like Mikey. Raph cringed, dipping his head lower. At any moment, Hun was going to demand that he hurry things along. 

“I think he’s in shock.”

Now he was hearing Donny. 

His restraints were loosened and he opened his eyes but still refused to look up. His eyes stayed locked on his bound hands and he waited for Hun to grab hold of them to move him again. But, the hands that came into view were not Hun’s. 

“We’re gonna get you out of here, Raph,” Leo’s voice reassured him as his hands worked to remove Raph’s bindings. “Why won’t you look at me?”

“Are you really here?” Raph choked out. 

“Yes,” Leo whispered in response. “I’m sorry it took us so long. But, were gonna take you home now, okay.”

Turning his head, relief caused Raph to lose all control the moment Leo came into view. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he reached out for his brother. “You came.”

Leo pulled him into his arms and held him tight. “It’s alright. We’ve got you now.”

“I knew you’d come,” Raph sobbed. “Hun tried to break me. I did my best not to give him the satisfaction.”

A surge of pain lanced across his midsection as the second egg started to move. He cried out, shifting his position in an attempt to lessen the pain. 

“Do you think you can hold on long enough for me to get you home,” Leo asked as he collected Raph in his arms. 

Raph nodded. “I think so.” He buried his face in crook of Leo’s neck. “They’re Hun’s,” he confessed. “He broke one.” Raph’s throat tried to close up on him but he managed to choke out, “I don’t want what’s left to be broken. Please.”

“It’s okay,” Leo said as he carried Raph out through a hidden door. “Hun can’t hurt you anymore.” 

Raph lifted his head enough to look over Leo’s shoulder. He could see Hun’s body lying on the floor in a pool of blood with his head a few feet away. 

Chapter 9
Detox

Leonardo sat with Raphael while he delivered the four remaining eggs. Splinter sat on Raph’s other side, holding on to Raph’s hand while whispering soothing words into his ear. Donny and Mikey stayed in the room but out of sight, concern over their brother keeping them near. 

The eggs were smaller than the ones Raph had delivered before. The last one’s shell was so thin that it was crushed as Raph pushed it out. 

It brought Raph a little comfort when the doctors said that there was no sign of a fetus inside. Only two of the others had a heartbeat. The third one was placed in an incubator, just in case. 

With the eggs delivered, Raph was able to relax a little. “I’m sorry, father,” he said, turning to Splinter. “I just wanted some time to clear my head and think. Before I knew it, the pain meds had worn off. The pain made me sloppy and I got myself caught by Hun’s men.”

Splinter tenderly pulled Raph’s hand to his chest. “I never gave up on you.”  

“I could hear you, calling to me,” Raph said as his eyes drifted closed. “But, I couldn’t focus my mind enough to answer. I tried…, but I couldn’t.”  

“Rest,” Splinter soothed. “You are safe.”

A doctor came in to insert an IV and connected monitors. They also drew a few vials of blood for testing. Exhausted, Raph barely reacted as the needle was inserted into his arm.

The others decided to allow him to sleep.  

One of the doctors later told them that there were trace amounts of THC and opioids in his system. “He will go through withdraws,” she said. “Fortunately, it doesn’t look like he was given enough for his body to build a dependency. As soon as his IV is done he will be well enough to leave. I expect him to have nothing more than minor body aches, tremors, cravings, and irritability.”

“Irritability is nothing new,” Mikey quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

“He… is not our biggest concern,” she said, looking distraught. “While running tests on his blood, the third egg collapsed. So, we opened it up and ran some tests. There was no fetus but the yolk was nutritionally weak and was laced with opioids. We can only assume this is the case for the others as well. If they survive, they will suffer from withdraws as soon as their yolk sacks are depleted.” 

“Maybe it’s better if they don’t make it,” Raph said, opening his eyes. 

“Whatever happens…,” Leo said. “If they survive or not, we will do everything we can for them.”

“Even though they’re Hun’s,” Raph asked, looking Leo in the eyes. 

“Yes,” Leo said, without hesitation.

“I’ll be back later to remove the IV,” the doctor said as she turned to leave, giving them some privacy.

“He didn’t care for them,” Raph said, his voice breaking. “He would have crushed them all.” Tears streamed down his cheeks as he struggled to talk. “When he crushed the first egg, the pain that ripped through me was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I’d rather be shot again.”

“Their safe now,” Splinter assured him. “We’ll give them every chance.”

“I wouldn’t have done it,” Raph sobbed. “I wouldn’t have killed ours. I was just so scared. It was all happening so fast. I didn’t know what to do.”

“I know,” Leo soothed, pressing his forehead against Raph’s while thumbing the tears from his cheek.

With the confession out of his system, Raph managed to take a few calming breaths. “Are they okay?”

Smiling, Leo pulled back enough to look Raph in the eyes. “They’re beautiful. As soon as you’re ready, I’ll take you in to see them.”

“What’d we have,” Raph asked. 

“Two boys and a girl,” Leo answered. 

“That’s gonna be trouble later,” Raph said. 

“We’ll deal with it when the time comes,” Leo said. “For now, you get some rest. Tomorrow’s gonna be a little rough.”

“Stay,” Raph said, holding Leo’s hand a little tighter. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Leo promised. 

“Mikey and I will check in on the kids,” Donny offered, dragging a hesitant Mikey with him. “If you need anything….”

“Thank you,” Leo said as they left. 

Leo and Splinter sat in silence, each holding one of Raph’s hands, waiting for the IV infusion to finish while Raph dozed. They would have time to talk about things later. For now, they would focus on Raph’s recovery. 

The doctor returned after about an hour to remove the IV and then looked Raph over one more time before clearing them to leave. Together, Splinter and Leo helped Raph to stand and then they walked him back to their living quarters. 

“Goodnight,” Splinter said outside of the bedroom and then kissed Raph’s forehead. “I love you.” It wasn’t often that Splinter showed such deep affection. The Turtles knew that their father loved them, but it was at times like this he wanted to make it clear just how much. 

Without even thinking about it, Leo led Raph into the room he had been sharing with Mikey and Don. When they entered, Raph looked at Leo. “I just want to go to bed,” he pleaded. “Can we save the family meeting for later.”

“You shouldn’t sleep alone,” Leo said. “And, I’ve been sleeping in here, every night for several months.”

“Why?” Raph whispered, his voice laced with pain. 

“Comfort,” Leo answered honestly. “I wasn’t sleeping well by myself. I found that sleeping next to them helped.” Before Raph’s imagination could get away with him, Leo added. “I’ve only slept here. Nothing more.”

“We also take turns tending to the children,” Donny added, pointing to a door. “They’re there, in the other room.”

“Would you like to look in on them,” Leo asked, “before we go to sleep?”

Raph’s eyes stayed locked on the door while he considered it but, ultimately, he shook his head. “I’m tired. I just wanna sleep.”

“Sleep next to me,” Mikey said, patting the tatami. “Leo can sleep on the other side of you. It’ll be like old times. I promise, you’ll sleep better than you have in a long time.”

“Sure, Mikey,” Raph said, as he lowered himself onto the mattress.

Raph was asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. Mikey curled up next to him, resting his head on Raph’s shoulder. Leo lay on his side, facing Raph while Donny settled in next to Mikey. 

Even though they had Raph back, Leo had several concerns that made sleep difficult. How much damage was caused by Raph’s year in captivity? Whatever struggles Raph faced, Leo was determined to be there for him. 

….

When Raphael started to wake, at first, he was afraid to open his eyes. He didn’t think he would be able to handle it if the events from last night had been a dream and he opened his eyes to find himself still in Hun’s possession. 

But then, Mikey shifted in his sleep. Relief washed over Raph and he opened his eyes to find that the two of them were alone. Looking around the room, Raph noticed that the door leading to the children’s room was open. 

“They’re probably in the kitchen by now,” Mikey said with a stretch. “I was given the daunting task of staying in here with you until you woke up.”

“Must have been a huge sacrifice on your part,” Raph teased. “I know how much you hate sleeping it.”

“It’s the worst,” Mikey playfully groaned. Sitting up, Mikey stifled a yawn which did nothing to stop its contagious nature, causing Raph to yawn as well. “Donny suggested that you take a warm bath to help ease your aches and pains,” Mikey said as he got to his feet. “Not to mention the fact that you need one because you smell bad.”

“A bath sounds nice,” Raph said. As soon as he started to get up, his body protested. He was already experiencing symptoms of withdraw. He knew them well enough. Hun enjoyed getting him high only to watch him crash. 

Mikey’s hand appeared in front of him. “Let me help.”

Accepting his brother’s offer, Raph leaned on Mikey as they made their way into the bathroom. Raph was impressed with the amenities provided to them by the Justice Force. It left him wondering why Leo had kept rejecting their offer to join them for so long. He fully understood why Leo had accepted the offer now. 

Raph washed himself quickly while Mikey filled the large jacuzzi tub, eager for the chance to take a relaxing bath. 

As Mikey helped him in the tub, Raph let out a deep groan. 

“Just wait ‘til I turn on the jets,” Mikey said, rushing over to the controls. “This will ease those aching muscles.” 

When the jacuzzi hummed to life, one jet blasted right in the center of his carapace. The mild vibrations that traveled his spine, almost tickled. It felt amazing. 

Mikey lowered himself into the tub. “Nice, right? Donny said it would help. Once he finishes helping Leo feed the kids, he said he’ll bring you some breakfast.”

“Good,” Raph sighed. “Cause, I don’t plan on leaving this tub any time soon”

After a few minutes of soaking, the door opened and Donny stepped through with a plate in one hand and a child on his hip. “You ready for something to eat.”

Raph sat up, eyes glued to the child. A wave of emotion overcame him as he looked at his child. The child he didn’t want. He wasn’t ready. 

Noticing the change in Raph, Don looked at the child. “I’m sorry. He didn’t want me to put him down. He can be kind of clingy. I’ve gotten so used to having him with me that I don’t even think about it anymore.” He placed the plate on a stool and started to back out of the room. “I’ll take him out.”

“It’s okay,” Raph said. Now that he was there, he didn’t want them to go. The child kept his head on Don’s shoulder while suckling loudly on a pacifier. He had a series of dark green patches all over his body, including one over his eye. “Is something wrong with him,” Raph asked. 

“Leo asked the same thing when he first saw him,” Mikey said with a smile. 

Donny shook his head. “He’s fine. Just different. His name is Nevio.”

“The others spotted like him,” Raph asked as he got out of the tub. He picked up the plate and his stomach rumbled at the sight of the banana pancakes.  

“Just him,” Donny answered, drawing Raph’s attention away from his food. “Leo’s in the bedroom with the others if you want to go see them. I’ll even let you eat in the bedroom…, just this once.” 

“Sure,” Raph said and started heading for the door. Though he didn’t know if he was up for it yet, he was willing to give it a try. 

Nevio pulled himself tighter against Don’s shoulder as Raph approached. Raph stopped and then took a few steps back. He didn’t want to frighten his child on their first meeting. 

“He’s shy and you’re new. Give him time,” Donny soothed. “Once he gets used to you, he’ll open up.”

“I understand,” Raph said, waving it off even though his heart was breaking. “It’s okay.”

“Come on,” Donny encouraged him as he turned towards the door. “Come meet your kids.” 

Mikey had already started draining the tub and was headed towards the door. “They are so cute.”

Raph had to hold the plate with both hands to keep it from shaking as he hesitantly made his way to the door. Was he ready to accept his children? Would they accept him? What if they didn’t like him? What if the moment he walked through that door they started to cry? 

Pushing down the fear and doubt, Raph placed one foot in front of the other until he was through the door. 

Leo was sitting on the floor with the other two children. Donny was sitting with him, setting Nevio with his siblings. They looked up at him. The biggest one watched him, Nevio crawled back towards Donny, but the middle one started waving. “Hi.” The word was repeated over and over as a pair of blue eyes went wide with excitement. 

Leo patted the spot next to him. “Come sit so you can meet her properly. But, watch your pancakes. Banana pancakes are her favorite.”

“Oh, so it’s the pancakes that’s gotten the little one so excited,” Raph said, doing his best to cover the fact that he was terrified. 

“No. Little Alba’s excited to see you,” Mikey said, taking a seat on the floor. “She’s a bundle of curiosity. Besides, at this angle, she can’t really see the pancakes yet.”

Raph sat down and almost immediately Alba crawled over to him. “Hi,” she kept saying as she made her way into his lap, forcing Raph to set his pancakes aside. This was the last thing he had expected to happen. 

Part of him wanted to hug her while, at the same time, he wanted to lift her off his lap and place her back on the floor. He hated that she reminded him of everything he hated about himself but he couldn’t hate her.

“Hi,” Raph answered as Alba’s chubby hand reached for his face. He didn’t know what to do and feared doing anything that would cause her to cry. 

Overwhelmed by conflicting emotions, Raph’s throat began to close as his eyes filled with tears. 

Leo reached out and grabbed hold of Raph’s hand. “You okay?”

“Take her, please,” Raph requested. 

“I got her,” Mikey said, taking Alba off of Raph’s lap. 

“Eat,” Leo insisted and placed the plate back in Raph’s lap. “You need your strength.”

“So, there’s Nevio and Alba,” Raph said as he picked at his pancake. “What did you name the big one?”

“Savio,” Leo answered. “We stayed with an Italian name theme.”

“They’re good names,” Raph said with a nod and pinched off a piece of pancake to eat. His hand was shaking from both nerves and as a symptom of his withdraws. He was so hungry that he was nauseous and hoped that eating something would help settle his stomach.  

He hadn’t eaten a decent meal in a year. So, after the soft, sweet pancake touched his tongue, Raph’s hunger took over and he devoured the rest.

“Not so fast,” Donny warned. “You don’t want to make yourself sick.”

Holding his shaking hand for Don to see, Raph swallowed what was in his mouth and chuckled. “I’m gonna get sick regardless. I’m already starting to go through withdraws.” 

“You should lie back down,” Leo suggested. “I’ll stay with you, make sure you’re okay.”

“What about the kids,” Raph asked.

“You worry about getting through this.” Donny walked over and collected Raph’s plate. “Mikey and I will care for the kids.”

Mikey picked up Savio and Alba while Donny carried Nevio and the plate. They left Raph and Leo alone for the first time since Raph’s rescue. 

“Will we be sleeping with Mikey and Don every night,” Raph asked as Leo helped him into bed. 

“Only if you want to,” Leo replied. “I think it would be good for us.”

“How so,” Raph wanted to know. 

“We were all pulling away from each other before,” Leo explained. “Donny was getting lost in his projects. I thought I needed to separate myself to be a good leader. You and Mikey went off to do your own things. It was starting to hurt us as a team. We need to be united as a family again.”

“You wanna be with them, like how we were,” Raph asked. 

“I’m not opposed to it,” Leo admitted. “But, only if you are too.”

Raph thought about it for a moment. “What if I can’t? What if I don’t want to be touched like that anymore? After what Hun’s done to me, I don’t know if I’ll ever want to again.”

Leo and Raph lay facing each other with little distance between them. Tilting his head up, Leo softly kissed Raph. “I love you. I’ll wait for you.”

Raph shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to.”

“It’s either both of us, or neither of us,” Leo insisted, leaning in for another kiss. “You will not be left out. We’ll talk more about this when you’re better.”

“Okay,” Raph mumbled in agreement before he was overcome by a full body tremor. 

He wasn’t looking forward to going through withdraws but having Leo with him made the thought of it a little more bearable.  

Chapter 10
Devotion 

Leonardo stayed with Raphael to comfort him through his withdraws. He held his brother while his body shook uncontrollably and tended to his every need. As gloomy as the situation was, Leo was glad to have Raph back in his arms. 

The window was open, allowing in the sun’s rays and a cool breeze. The two combined, made the room comfortable enough that it lulled Leo into a light sleep. 

A soft knock on the door drew Leo from his doze. 

Leonardo carefully pulled away from Raph to see who it was. One of the doctors stood on the other side and he could tell by the look on her face that she was not there for good news. 

“We’ll talk in the hall,” Leo whispered as he started to step out. 

“You’ll talk in here,” Raph said, stopping Leo. “If it has anything to do with my eggs I want to know.”

Opening the door further, Leo stepped aside to allow the doctor to enter. “We’ll talk in here.”

“Of course,” the doctor agreed as she entered the room. “I am sorry to disturb you but one of the eggs didn’t make it. We ran tests on it. It is Huns and, like the other one, the yolk sack was lacking in nutrients and had trace amounts of THC and opioids.”

“Why are you guys testing to see if they’re Hun’s,” Raph asked. “He’s the only one I’d been with for the past year.”

“Yes, well.” The doctor cleared her throat. “Turtles can store sperm for up to two years. We don’t know if this is the case with you or not so we run the tests.”

Sitting up, Raph’s eyes bore into the doctor. “You’re telling me that Hun’s cum is still inside me and even if I don’t have sex, I can lay another set of fertilized eggs that are his?” Raph’s voice broke at the end as he turned his head to hide his tears. 

The doctor walked over to the tatami and sat on the corner, facing Raph. “Once you are stronger, you will be given the option to undergo surgery to remove your female reproductive system with the exception of your ovaries.”

“Why keep the ovaries,” Raph asked unable to look up at the doctor. 

“Both your testicles and your ovaries supply you with hormones,” the doctor explained. “Right now, they are balanced. Remove one, and it throws everything off and potentially leading to several medical issues. So, it’s best to keep them.”

“But I won’t lay anymore eggs,” Raph asked, looking her in the eyes. 

The doctor nodded. “That is correct.”

“Okay,” Raph nodded. “I can live with that.” 

“Good.” The doctor moved closer to Raph to do a quick examination. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been worse,” Raph answered. “At least I’ve stopped shaking.”

“Then the worst is over,” the doctor said with a smile before getting up. “Sleep. Regain your strength. We’ll discuss surgery options later.”

“Thank you,” Raph said as he closed his eyes, “for everything.”

Leo held the door open for the doctor and whispered his thanks as she passed. Closing the door behind her, Leo got back into bed. Raph pushed in close and held Leo tight. The worst was over but he still had far to go before he was fully recovered. 

….

Raph sat sipping his miso soup. It had been several weeks since his brothers had saved him and he was finally starting to regain his strength. 

It was strange, being back with his family in a new place. In a way, it helped. If they had gone back to the sewers then he would have felt more pressure for things to go back to the way they were. Here, at the Justice Force headquarters, everything was already different so it was okay for him to be different too. 

A squeal of joy warned him that the others were approaching with the kids for their afternoon meal. The squeal came from none other than Alba. She was a happy baby and the first one to open up to Raph. 

Savio on the other hand was a grump and definitely Raph’s child. He kept his distance while keeping a wary eye on Raph. Raph though it best to give him his space. 

Nevio was shy and quiet, always suckling on that pacifier. He would let Raph hold him and play with him but whenever Donny entered the room Nevio would go straight for him, whining to be picked up. 

Alba waved ‘hi’ to Raph as soon as they walked into the dining area while Savio glared at him. 

It was funny watching the kids eat and seeing their personalities shine through. Nevio ate quickly, intent on getting his pacifier back as soon as possible. Alba played with her food more than ate it. And, Savio took his time, carefully picking up his food with his fingers, demonstrating the part of him that was Leo. 

“You doing alright,” Leo asked as he did his best to keep Alba under control. 

“The rice and the miso are settling well,” Raph answered. “I think I’m ready to start increasing my exercise routine. The stretching and light weights aren’t cutting it anymore.”

“You don’t want to push yourself too hard and set yourself back,” Donny warned. 

“I know,” Raph replied. “I’m not looking to spar or start bench pressing again. I just wanna start on some basic katas.”

“I can’t think any reason why you shouldn’t be able to,” Leo said. “Master Splinter and I will come up with a regimen for you.”

“Yeah, okay,” Raph conceded. He was perfectly capable of doing it himself but would allow Leo to take care of him for a little while longer. He could see it in Leo’s eyes, how much it meant to him. “Just remember that I’m still recovering. Don’t pick anything too hard.”

Leo smiled. “I promise.”

…..

Every afternoon, Raphael moved through his katas under the watchful eye of Master Splinter and Leonardo. Though he was weaker and out of practice, the motions were like second nature it him and he managed to execute each one flawlessly. 

Each time he proved he was capable of completing all the katas at one level, they allowed him to move up to the next. Pure will and determination helped him recover and rebuild his muscle mass. He was not going to allow what happened to him keep him down for long. 

Each night, Raph slept in between his brothers, comforted by their presence. Mikey always insisted on sleeping in the middle with him. In the morning, Mikey stayed with him while the others tended to the babies. Raph indulged him by sleeping in a little as well.  

Raph felt like an outsider when it came to the children, like he was someone there for a visit. It didn’t help that Savio and Nevio were wary of him. He wanted to do more but he didn’t feel like it was his place. 

“Alba,” Leo called out. 

Raph sat up in time to see the small turtle toddling out of the nursery with a big grin on her face. “Hi!” she waved when she noticed him and changed direction, heading for the bed. She was still wobbly on her feet, learning to walk only a few days ago. 

Leo poked his head through the door. “Good you’re up. Will you tend to her while Don and I take care of the boys?”

Raph glanced down at Mikey, whose eyes were still closed, before answering, “Sure.”

Alba fell on to her hands and knees when she reached the tatami and crawled the rest of the way to Raph. Sitting down, she reached out to him. “Up.”

Raph nudged his brother. “Mikey?”

“She came to you, dude,” Mikey yawned. “Pick her up.”

“Alright,” Raph mumbled, lifting Alba as he got to his feet. “I can do this.”

“No need to panic,” Mikey reassured him. “She’s the easy one. Just take her to the kitchen. Leo and Don will be there in a few to make her breakfast.”

“You comin’,” Raph asked him.

“You need me to,” Mikey asked in return. 

Raph nodded. “Yeah.” He still wasn’t comfortable being alone with them. 

“Okay,” Mikey said, smiling softly as he got to his feet. “I’ll go with you.”

“Thanks,” Raph said as they made their way out of the room. 

Alba babbled up at Raph while they waited in the kitchen. The expressions on her face changed as she spoke, as if she were having a conversation. 

Mikey smiled. “She likes you.”

“I wonder what’s going through her mind,” Raph wondered. 

Alba squealed and smiled at hearing Raph’s voice. When he didn’t say anything more she continued babbling. 

Leo and Don entered the kitchen, carrying Savio and Nevio respectively. Donny instructed Raph on how to put Alba in her highchair and then placed Nevio in his. 

They were about to feed the children when one of the doctors entered the kitchen. “Somethings come up,” he said, looking at Raph and Leo. 

“What’s going on,” Leo asked, staying calm while Raph fought back a surge of panic. 

“We need to make a decision,” the doctor said. “There is reason to believe that the yolk sack in the final egg is depleted. Even though it’s premature, we think it would be best to open the egg now. We need to feed it, if the baby inside is going to be given any chance of survival.”

“What makes you think the yolk sack is depleted,” Donny asked. 

“The egg is trembling,” the doctor answered. “The baby was getting a steady supply of opioids through the yolk. The trembling is a sign of withdraws, telling us that the supply has been depleted.” 

“Can I be there when you open the egg,” Raph asked. 

The doctor nodded. “That’s why I’m here. To get your permission and to see if you would like to be there when we do.”

“If you want to go with Raph, Mikey and I will tend to the children,” Donny offered. “Make sure you check with Splinter. I know he would want to be there. He should be watching the news.”

“Would you be alright if father and I join you,” Leo asked Raph. 

Raph nodded. “I would like that… very much.”

Raph’s heart pounded as they got Splinter and headed to the infirmary. He was lead to where the egg was being kept and instructed where to stand. From where they placed him, he had a clear view of the egg. 

It was visibly shaking and weak cries could be heard, muffled by the shell. His eyes stayed fixed on it as they carefully cracked it open. 

As the doctors gingerly pealed the shell away, more of the baby within could be seen. “It’s so small” Leo whispered. 

Once they had it removed from the egg, the doctors got to work assessing its health. They connected monitors to it and inserted a feeding tube. The baby cried throughout the whole process. 

Leo stood next to Raph and placed a comforting hand on his shell. “Its crying is a good sign. It means that at least its lungs are developed.” 

When they were done, one of the doctors approached Raph. “Would you like to hold it?”

“Would that be okay,” Raph asked. “It won’t hurt it?”

The doctor shook his head. “Holding it will help it. Skin to skin contact is therapeutic.”

Raph nodded and the doctor led him to a chair. He helped to get Raph settled before picking up the baby and placing it on Raph’s chest. “This is the best way to hold it for now, with as much skin contact as possible.

“Its future is still uncertain,” the doctor told them “He’s premature, underweight and has to go through withdraws, but he seems strong. He might just surprise us all.”

‘So, don’t get attached,’ Raph thought to himself as he took in the baby’s scent. Leaning back, Raph settled himself in, intending to stay there as long as they allowed. 

Leonardo and Splinter stood next to Raph to get a better look at the baby. “Do you need me to get you anything,” Leo asked. “I know you didn’t get a chance to eat.”

“Maybe a granola bar or something,” Raph said. “I don’t think I could each much right now.”

Splinter leaned over to look at the baby, placing his hand gently on its shell. “He has a strong spirit.” A soft smile turned up the edges of his mouth. “He looks like Leonardo.”

“You have good intuition,” a doctor said as she walked up. “The baby is a boy and he is Leonardo’s son.”

Raph looked up in disbelief. “He is?”

“Yeah,” the doctor smiled. “Maybe that’s way he’s so strong. It’s in his genes.”

Raph would have accepted the baby even if it had been Hun’s but hearing that it was Leo’s was a monumental relief. He wouldn’t have to see the face of his tormentor whenever he looked at his child. 

With tears in his eyes, Raph kissed the top of the baby’s head. “I want to name him Yoshi.”

“My master would be honored,” Splinter said. 

Leonardo knelt down and leaned in close to the baby. “Stay strong, Yoshi. My son.” Looking up at Raph, he smiled. “I love you.”

Raph’s heart skipped a beat and his cheeks burned at hearing those words. To cover his embarrassment, he gently shoved Leo, knocking him back on his butt. “Just because everyone’s okay with it does not mean I’m gonna start with the PDA.”

Leo chuckled as he pulled himself off the floor. “That’s fine. You don’t have to say it. I know.” He leaned down to kiss the top of Raph’s head. “I’m going to check on the kids and get you something to eat. I’ll be back in a few.”

Raph nodded his understanding. “Alright.”

Before he turned to leave, Leo asked, “Would you mind if Mikey and Don came in to see Yoshi?”

“That’d be fine,” Raph answered. “But it might be best if they don’t bring the kids. If Yoshi doesn’t make it….”

“Good call,” Leo agreed. “We’ll wait until Yoshi’s stronger, just in case.” Raph could see his own mix of emotions looking back at him through Leo’s eyes. They wanted to hope but they both knew that there was a good chance Yoshi wouldn’t make it. 

Chapter 11
Dire

The sound of the monitor alarms going off jolted Raphael awake. He had fallen asleep with Yoshi on his chest. He had been sitting there all day with his family coming in to check on him from time to time and had dozed off. 

He was barely able to process what was happening before the doctors swarmed around him and took Yoshi. Panic gripped Raph’s throat. “What’s going on,” he rasped out. 

“He’s got a fever,” one of the doctors answered as she placed Yoshi in an incubator, “and his breathing has slowed. We need to get his fever down.”

“We’ll do everything we can,” another doctor reassured him and they whisked Yoshi away to the other side of the infirmary before anything else could be said. 

Fear and regret left Raph numb. Everything that was happening was his fault. If he hadn’t run away that day, none of this would be happening. 

The doctors hadn’t gone far so Raphael was able to hear them but he didn’t understand their medical jargon. All he could do was sit and wait for one of them to come tell him what was happening. Not knowing was the worst feeling. 

A few moments later, Leonardo entered the room. His attention was first drawn to the cluster of doctors. Resisting the urge to run over and asks questions, Leo pulled his attention away from them to scan the room. When his eyes fell on Raph, he rushed over. 

“What’s happening?”

“He… has a fever.” Raph’s voice was tight with emotion and he had to swallow the lump in his throat before he could continue talking. “They also said that his breathing had slowed. I don’t know what they’re doing.”

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Raph took a few steadying breaths. Getting back to his old ways, he refused to let his emotions get out of control.

Leo held his hand, squeezing it gently to show his solidarity in the moment. Raph allowed it. They took comfort in one another while they feared the worst, neither of them taking their eyes off the doctors.

Raph was usually not one to pray but he silently bargained with any higher power out there to save Yoshi. 

When one of the doctors started to approach them, Raph’s heart began to hammer in his chest. He was glad that he was sitting down because he was light headed and ready to pass out. Squeezing Leo’s hand, he braced himself for the worst.

“He’s stable,” the doctor told them, attempting a weak smile. “He still has a fever but we’ve got his oxygen levels back up. He’s going to have to stay in the incubator for now.”

Raph let out a sigh of relief and loosened his grip on Leo’s hand. At least Yoshi was still alive. 

“Do you know what happened,” Leo asked. 

“He’s premature,” the doctor said, “and going through withdraws, making him weak. There’s any number of things that could have triggered the fever. It could have been an infection or simply a side effect of the dugs leaving his system.”

Though he felt heavy, Raph pulled himself to his feet. “Can we go see him?” 

The doctor nodded. “You can. You can talk to him and touch him through the holes. Make sure your touch is not too light or it will tickle, but not in a good way.”

There was already a comfortable chair set up next to the incubator. Raph sat down and slipped his hand through one of the holes to touch Yoshi’s. The tiny fingers barely fit around the top of his.

The doctors left the immediate area, allowing some privacy for the small family. 

A stray tear traveled down Raph’s cheek. His time with his son had been all too short. Leaning in close to the hole so Yoshi could hear him, Raph softly sang in his gravelly voice,

“If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you.
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you.”

His throat closed, preventing him from continuing the song. Taking a deep breath, he hoped to catch Yoshi’s scent but it was drowned out by the smell of sterilized medical equipment. 

“I let myself get attached,” Raph confessed. 

“I did too.” Leo leaned in and nuzzled Raph. “He still has a chance.”

“Leo?” Donny walked through the door, looking around. “Did you find out what Raph wanted to eat?” He caught sight of them next to the enclosed incubator and made his way over. “What happened?”

“Fever,” Leo answered. 

Looking at the monitors, Donny nodded his understanding. “It is high. But, he looks to be stable.”

“Donny,” Raph pleaded, looking up at his brother. 

Kneeling next to Raph, Donny looked him in the eyes. “I know you guys see me as some miracle worker but I can’t do anything more for him than what’s already been done. He’s in good hands.”

“Okay,” Raph said, resisting the urge to breakdown in to uncontrollable sobs. Turning his attention back to Yoshi, he mumbled, “I’m gonna stay here with him.”

“I’m gonna stay for a while too,” Leo said. 

“Alright,” Donny said. “I understand. I’ll let Mikey and father know what happened and then come back in to check on you later.”

He gave Raph’s shoulder and reassuring squeeze before leaving. It wasn’t long after that Splinter arrived. He pulled up a chair and sat next to Raph, silently giving him support and love. 

Hours passed and it was just after dawn before Yoshi’s fever broke. Even then, Raph refused to leave. He had been in the medical bay for more than a day and the doctors insisted that he a break. 

It took both Leo and Splinter to get Raph up, and away from Yoshi long enough to go shower and eat something. As soon as he was done, he was back at Yoshi’s side. 

Days passed with Raph refusing to leave Yoshi longer than he had to. Every moment with him felt like it was going to be his last and he didn’t want to miss any of it.

The doctors had set up a cot, close to the incubator so that he could at least get some sleep. He managed a few broken hours at a time but worry had him up and in the chair more often than not. 

Three days later, Raph returned from a meal break to find the doctors had removed Yoshi from the enclosed incubator. He was laying in an open bassinet, eyes covered, under a UV light. 

“The drugs are out of his system,” the doctor informed him as he approached. “He’s just getting a UV treatment for jaundice. You can hold him again, if you’d like.”

“Doesn’t he need his treatment,” Raph asked, looking down at Yoshi. 

“I can turn the light on the two of you,” the doctor answered. “He can get his treatment in your arms. The light would probably do you some good as well.”

Raph nodded. “I would like to hold him then.”

“Have a seat,” the doctor said, indicating the chair. “I’ll hand him to you.”

Yoshi let out a grunt as he was lifted and placed on Raph’s chest. The doctor helped Raph get situated and comfortable before adjusting the light. She checked the monitors after everything was done and smiled. “He’s already improving just by being in your arms.”

“Then I’ll hold him for as long as he needs,” Raph replied and gently kissed the top of Yoshi’s head. 

“You can hold him until we need to take him for tests,” the doctor said with a smile. “He’s not out of the woods yet but things are starting to look up.”

“Thank you,” Raph said. 

“I’ll send someone to let Leonardo know about Yoshi’s improved condition,” the doctor said, making sure to emphasize Yoshi’s improvement. 

“He’d appreciate that,” Raph said. 

Yoshi let out a long grunt, causing Raph to smile. The doctor left and Raph leaned further back into the chair, relieved that Yoshi was back in his arms.

….

Yoshi continued to improve with each passing day. Leonardo wanted to stay next to him with Raph but he had three other children who needed him. They wouldn’t have understood if Leo suddenly wasn’t around. 

Yoshi showed signs of growing stronger by staying awake and alert longer. He started calling out from his bassinet and wouldn’t quiet down until he was held. The best was when he started to eat on his own. The thin, frail baby was starting to fill out.  

The more promising it was that Yoshi would live the more Raph eased up and eventually he was okay with others holding him. He had even allowed Mikey to sit with Yoshi while he took a well needed nap in his own bed. 

Things were going so well that it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when things went wrong. The children were tended to by members of the Justice Force so that the whole family could be present when the doctors presented the news. 

Raph sat with Yoshi in his arms with Splinter in a chair next to him while the others stood. Leo rested his hand on Raph’s shoulder and waited for what the doctor had to say. 

“He’s healthy,” the doctor stated, doing his best to set their minds as ease. “However, while running standard test for newborns, we discovered that he is deaf and blind. His hearing can be corrected with a cochlear implant. But, that will have to wait until we are sure he is strong enough for the surgery.” 

“Surgery,” Raph asked, holding Yoshi a little closer. “Don’t hearing aids just go in the ear?”

“Not with the kind he will need,” the doctor explained. “Hearing aids amplify sounds so they may be detected by damaged ears. That won’t work with Yoshi. Cochlear implants bypass damaged portions of the ear and directly stimulate the auditory nerve.”

Raph looked down at Yoshi. “So, then, whenever he’s put down and no one’s touching him, for all he knows, he’s alone. No wonder why he hates it so much.”

“I do have some good news as well,” the doctor said. 

“Yeah? What’s that,” Mikey asked.

The doctor smiled from ear to ear. “He’s finally heathy enough for you to take him out of here.”

“That is good news,” Leo said as he leaned down to get a closer look. “You ready to meet your brothers and sister?”

With a smile on his face he looked at Raph but he showed no sign of joy. With tears in his eyes, he shifted Yoshi’s position in his arms so that he was resting on his chest. “I am so sorry,” he whispered. 

Chapter 12
Dedicated 

Raph was laying on the bed, nervously waiting to be taken into the operating room. The doctors had deemed him strong enough to undergo the partial hysterectomy and were getting ready for the surgery. 

“You make sure you hold Yoshi,” Raph said as he shifted his position on the bed. “I don’t want him feeling alone while I’m away.”

“I swear to you that there will not be a moment that passes where he thinks he is alone,” Leo promised, holding Raph’s hand. “Right now, father is holding him while he naps.”

Squeezing Leo’s hand, Raph let out a deep breath. “You’ll be there when I wake up?”

“You know I will.” Leo nodded. “Are you okay? You’re fidgeting.”

“I’m eager to get it done but, you know, a little worried about them cutting into me,” Raph admitted. Closing his eyes, he took another deep breath. “I wish they would get this started already.”

“It’s just a couple of small incisions along each side,” Leo said. “Nothing too invasive. You’ll be on your feet by dinner and back in our room tonight.”

“Maybe you and me can sleep in another room tonight,” Raph suggested. “We can give Mikey and Don some alone time.”

“I don’t think Mikey cares if we’re there or not,” Leo said with a laugh. “But, yeah. I think you and I are overdue for some alone time as well.”

“You can join Mikey and Don if you want,” Raph said, keeping his eyes down. “Alone time with me isn’t gonna consists of anything beyond sleeping.”

“We’ve talked about this,” Leo said and bent down to be in Raph’s line of sight. “I’m not going to do anything without you. I don’t care if all we do is sleep. I love you.”

“I don’t want you giving sex up for me,” Raph argued. “You don’t have to be celibate just because I… have hang-ups.”

“If I can’t be with you I don’t want to be with anyone,” Leo insisted. 

“Don’t put that on me,” Raph pleaded as tears filled his eyes. Before anything else could be said, Raph clammed up and hastily wiped the tears from his eyes when he noticed that the doctor was approaching. 

Leo leaned down and kissed his head. “I’ll see you in a few hours. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Raph whispered. 

“Ready,” the doctor asked as he got closer. 

“Let’s get this over with,” Raph replied. 

“Then off we go,” the doctor said and pushed Raph down the hall, towards the operating room. “We’ll call you when he’s done.”

“Thank you.” Leo stood in the hall, watching Raph until he disappeared through the door. Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, he turned and walked the other direction, towards the nursery. 

When he entered the room, Leo saw Splinter dozing in the recliner with Yoshi on his chest, tucked under his kimono. Leo walked over and placed his hand on Yoshi’s back, satisfying the need to see that he was still breathing. 

“He’s fine,” Splinter whispered, opening his eyes. 

“You don’t have to be so quiet,” Leo said. “It’s not like he can hear you.”

“No,” Splinter said, keeping his voice low. “However, he can feel the vibrations of my voice.” He pointed to Yoshi’s hand which was up near his throat. “Look. He placed it there to feel my words as he fell asleep.”

“Wow,” Leo said under his breath. “That’s… kind of… amazing.”

“Helen Keller learned to speak by feeling the vibrations in her teacher’s throat while feeling the movements of her lips,” Splinter stated. “With the right training, Yoshi will also be able to overcome his handicaps.”

“Did you feed him,” Leo asked. He didn’t have to ask if Yoshi had willingly eaten. At the moment, he didn’t have a choice since he was fed through the tube in his nose. 

“I gave him his three ounces,” Splinter said with a nod. “He didn’t have any troubles with it.”

“Good,” Leo said and continued to watch Yoshi sleep. “Before you know it, he’ll be eating on his own.”

“Indeed,” Splinter smiled. “He grows stronger with each passing day.”

“Do you need me to take him,” Leo offered. 

Splinter shook his head and closed his eyes. “We’re fine. Go tend to your other children while he sleeps.”

“Thank you, father,” Leo said, bowing slightly before leaving the room. 

Leo found the others watching television while they played. Donatello, who had appointed himself in charge of their education, made sure that whatever the children watched had some educational value to it. Their current favorite was a show called Team Umizoomi. 

As soon as Nevio noticed Leo, he was on his feet and toddling over to him. “Da,” he squeaked past the pacifier with his arms raised. 

The other two soon joined him in the rush to greet their father. Getting down on his knees, Leo embraced his children. All of his worries seemed to fade away whenever he held them. 

“How’s Raph,” Mikey asked from the couch. 

“Nervous,” Leo answered, “but eager to have the procedure done. The doctors will call me so I can be there when he wakes up.”

“Don and I will take care of the kids while you do,” Mikey stated and smiled. 

“You guys have help me so much,” Leo said, ushering the kids back towards their toys. “I don’t know what I would do without you. I will make it up to you. Somehow.”

“I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me,” Mikey said in a suggestive tone. 

“Mikey,” Donny chided and Mikey’s grin widened. 

“What?”

“Raph isn’t ready,” Leo said. “However, we have agreed to sleep in the other room so you and Don can have some time alone.”

“I guess that will do for now,” Mikey said, feigning a sigh. “It would be nice if we could all be together like we were meant to be.”

“Meant to be,” Leo asked, lifting an eye ridge. 

“Yeah,” Mikey said with a nod of his head. “Don’t act like you don’t remember how we were as kids, before Don was able to connect us to the outside world through television. We all slept in the same bed and openly showed affection. Then we saw that it wasn’t ‘normal’ and you guys started pulling away.”

Leo chuckled, shaking his head, dismissing the notion, but then he paused for a moment to think back to those days in their early teens. Maybe Mikey was right. If they had remained secluded, never being influenced by human standards, things would have been different. 

He remembered the way he felt for his brothers and how human media had changed his way of thinking. 

“I think he gets it now,” Donny said, pulling Leo from his thoughts. “How do you think Mikey convinced me? He reminded me of those days, how natural it felt to be together.”

Leo walked over to Mikey and kissed the top of his head. “When Raph is ready….”

“Okay,” Mikey agreed. 

Leo spent the rest of his time playing with his children. When he got the call from the doctors, he once again left them in the care of Mikey and Don. Before he left, he checked in once more on Yoshi and Splinter, smiling to himself when he saw them both sound asleep.

He was in the hall when they wheeled Raphael out of the operating room and he followed them into the recovery room. Raph was already starting to wake. After the doctors finished situating the bed, Leo took a seat and grabbed Raph’s hand. 

Raph’s eyes were glazed over as he looked up at Leo. “Is it done?”

“You’re all done now, Raph,” Leo said softly, nodding his head. 

“How many more babies,” Raph asked, his words slurring. 

Taken by surprise, Leo chuckled. He had heard that people tend to ramble about nonsensical things when coming out of surgery. He couldn’t pass on the opportunity. “Twenty.”

“That’s a lot,” Raph mumbled. “We’re fucked.” His eyes went wide as something occurred to him. “Do they all have fingers?”

Leo had to stifle a laugh and wondered what was going through Raph drug addled mind, and wished he had a camera to record it. “Everything’s fine,” Leo reassured him.

“I love you,” Raph said. “You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve someone as good as you.”

“I love you too,” Leo said. 

With a serious look, Raph grabbed Leo’s face. “I want you to know that it wasn’t just the sex. But, it was good sex. You did good. Real good.”

“Thank you,” Leo chuckled. “I tried. It wasn’t just sex for me either. I love you. So much.”

Raph’s hand dropped and he closed his eyes. “The eggs are purple. Maybe I ate too many grapes.”

Leo decided that, instead of waking him back up, it would be best to allow him to doze off the rest of the anesthetics and simply watched him sleep. 

Raph’s brow would occasionally furrow, most likely due to absurd dreams but, for the most part, he rested peacefully. When he did wake again, Leo could see in his eyes that he was more aware. 

Raph took a few deep breaths and looked around the room before setting his eyes on Leo. “I guess I’m done?”

Leo nodded. “How do you feel?”

Raph licked his lips. “My mouth is dry.”

“I’ll see if it’s okay for you to drink something,” Leo said as he got to his feet. 

Raph grabbed his hand before he was able to leave. “I love you.”

Leo smiled and bent over to kiss Raph’s lips. “I love you. I’ll be right back.”

Raph released his hand and Leo took a few steps back before turning to leave the room. 

….

Raph would have preferred to stay in bed for a while longer. The thought of walking around so soon after surgery was not something he wanted to do, but the doctors insisted that he was well enough to get up and return to his family. 

Leo had spent a few hours with Raph after the surgery but then left when Splinter called to tell him Yoshi was awake. He was supposed to return so that he could walk with Raph back to their room but he was running late. 

It wasn’t like Leo to say he was going to be somewhere and then not show up. Not unless something unforeseeable had come up. Raph decided not to wait and walked back to their room by himself. 

He passed the main bedroom they shared and stopped in his tracks when he heard a churr. His heart sank to his stomach as he leaned in closer to the door. He could hear the unmistakable sounds of sex. 

Was that what distracted Leo? Raph had insisted that he join them. 

Tears filled his eyes as he thought of Leo with them. Closing his eyes, he tried to rid his mind of the image. It hurt more than he could ever imagine. He didn’t want to be abandoned. 

“Raph?”

His eyes snapped open at the sound of Leo’s voice. Seeing his brother standing in the hall with Yoshi in his arms, brought on an overwhelming sense of relief and it was all he could do to not break down.

“You okay,” Leo asked, rushing towards Raph. 

“Yeah,” Raph answered, his voice cracking a little. “Just a little tired.”

“Why didn’t you wait,” Leo asked and did his best to offer Raph some support. “You shouldn’t be walking by yourself so soon after surgery.” 

“You were late,” Raph said. “I figured you were indisposed. It’s not that far.”

“I was late because Yoshi had a blowout,” Leo said and looked down at the slumbering baby in his arms. “I had to clean it out from under his shell. He didn’t like that. Then it took me a while to get him calm again. I didn’t want to come and get you with a screaming baby.”

He looked up at Raph. “But, you looked more than tired. You seemed upset.”

“I thought you were in there with them,” Raph admitted. 

“I already told you that I wasn’t going to do that without you,” Leo stated as a matter of fact. They made it to the spare room and Leo opened the door. “If you’re not comfortable in that kind of relationship, then we won’t do it.”

“I might have been all for it before I messed everything up,” Raph said as he entered the room. “Now, I’m not sure I want anyone touching me.”

“You’ve got time to work it out,” Leo said. He walked over to the bed and placed Yoshi down in the bassinette and then indicated the spot next to it. “You can sleep here, next to Yoshi. I’ll sleep on the other side of you, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine,” Raph said with a nod. “Even though I’ve slept most of the day away but I’m still tired.”

“The healing process takes a lot of energy,” Leo said as they positioned themselves on the tatami. “You should feel better in the morning.”

Raph stayed sitting for a moment so he could watch Yoshi sleep. “The pain killers only add to the grogginess,” he chuckled and reached down to run his finger along Yoshi’s carapace. “I love you.”

Leo pressed up against Raph to look at Yoshi. The physical contact didn’t bother Raph like he thought it would. In fact, it eased his stress. 

Leaning back, Raph nuzzled Leo, beak to beak, grateful for Leo’s presence. Leo returned the gesture of love. They lay down together, staying locked in an embrace with Leo curled protectively around Raph. 

Feeling relaxed, Raph closed his eyes and allowed exhaustion to take over. 

Chapter 13
Do Not Touch

Raphael woke from a deep sleep and immediately reached out to check if Yoshi was breathing. The steady rise and fall of the tiny chest, eased Raph’s nerves. 

Comforted in knowing Yoshi was alright and sleeping well, Raph leaned back against Leo with the intention of going back to sleep. Leo nuzzled Raph’s neck and pulled him closer. 

At peace with is surroundings, Raph shifted his position so that he could turn his head and kiss Leo’s lips. What he had intended on being a quick gesture of affection, was turned into a deep and fervent kiss. 

Raph had never known Leo to kiss with such passion and it was starting to stir a desire in him that he though had been kill off by Hun’s abuse. 

When they parted Raph looked up and instead of seeing the steely grey eyes of Leo, he was met with Mikey’s bright blue ones. “The fuck?” Raph exclaimed as he pulled away and sat up, the sudden movement causing the stitches to pull. 

“Good morning,” Mikey replied with a grin unaware of Raph pain. 

“What are you doing in here,” Raph demanded, moving carefully to prevent any further aches. 

“I’m always the one who stays next to you in the mornings,” Mikey said as a matter of fact. “Donny dragged me in here when he came to get Leo so they could take care of the kids.”

Raph struck Mikey’s shoulder. “Why did you kiss me?”

Rubbing the spot where Raph had hit him, Mikey sat up. “You kissed me.”

“I was half asleep and had intended it to be a quick kiss on the lips,” Raph argued. “You took advantage of it and turned it into a wrestling match for our tongues.”

Mikey’s smile faded and his merriment was replaced with an apologetic look. “I thought you knew it was me since I’ve been the one waking up next to you for the past few months. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not mad,” Raph mumbled, looking down as he brought his knees up to his chest. “I was just surprised. That’s all.”

“You gotta know that I would never take advantage of you,” Mikey said as he tentatively reached out to touch Raph. “I love you.”

Raph’s heart pounded as he anticipated the touch but he did not shy away from it. When Mikey’s hand reached him, he was pleasantly surprised when it ended up easing his nerves rather than fraying them. 

“I love you too,” Raph admitted, pressing his cheek against Mikey’s hand. “I should have known you weren’t Leo. He’s never kissed like that.”

Mikey chuckled. “I am pretty good at it.”

“Oh good, you guys are awake,” Leo said as he entered the room followed by Alba and Savio. 

Donatello carried Nevio who was sucking away on his pacifier. “Everything okay?”

“Hi,” Alba squealed as she rushed over towards Raph. 

“It’s fine,” Raph said, uncurling himself for Alba. 

“She is always happy to see you,” Mikey said with a smile. 

“At least one of them is,” Raph replied while Alba climbed into his lap. “The boys don’t want me to touch them.”

“They’re still getting used to you,” Leo said and sat down on the bed. “How’s Yoshi?”

Raph looked down at the slumbering baby. “He’s still asleep. I fed him around four so he should be good for another hour.”

Alba lifted her head to see what Raph was looking at and as soon as she saw Yoshi, her eyes lit up. “Baby!” Sitting on Raph’s leg, Alba grabbed the edge of the bassinette and looked at Yoshi. “Awww… cute.”

“Careful,” Donny said, taking a seat close to the bassinette. “Be gentle with the baby.”

Nevio babbled around the pacifier and pointed at Yoshi. He leaned down, causing Donny to lower him so that he could have a closer look. Pointing at the feeding tube in Yoshi’s nose, Nevio looked up at Donny and babbled.

“It’s so we can feed him,” Donny explained. “He’s too weak to eat on his own.”

Savio walked around the tatami to the other side of the bassinette, eyeing Raph while giving him a wide berth. Once he sat down, he pulled his eyes away from Raph to look down at the baby. 

“That boy does not like me,” Raph muttered, shaking his head. 

“He’ll come around,” Leo reassured him. 

Raph wasn’t sure that was true. It was almost as if Savio knew the circumstances around his conception and Raph’s initial feelings about it.   

The children remained fixated on Yoshi as if they were trying to figure him out. It wasn’t the first time they had seen him but they tended to be fascinated by him whenever he was around. 

“Play?” Alba asked, looking up at Raph. 

“He’s too little,” Raph answered and reached down to touch Yoshi’s cheek. “But, you can play with your brothers.”

Savio grunting had Raph looking up to see that there was a strained expression on the small turtle’s face. “You okay,” Raph asked and then glanced at Donny. “He looks like he’s taking a dump.”

“That’s because he is,” Donny replied. 

Leo leaned in close to Savio. “Are you pooping?”

“No,” Savio said forcefully, getting up to move across the room and squat behind a table. 

“Believe it or not, it’s a good sign,” Donny said as Leo got up to go after his son. Leo eyed Donny as he walked passed. Raph chuckled to himself when he realized that it was the exact same look Savio had given to him earlier. Maybe he was more like his father than Raph had initially thought. 

“I fail to see how it’s a good sign,” Leo said while he reached down in an attempt to pick up Savio. The toddler had other ideas and backed way, hiding under the table while screaming ‘no’. “He’s being defiant.”

“His desire for privacy will help with potty training,” Donny said as a matter of fact. “Training Nevio, on the other hand, is going to be a difficult.” Looking down, he smiled at Nevio. “You don’t care about privacy. You’ll poop while I’m holding you and smile when you’re done.”

Mikey moaned. “When did conversations about poop become normal?”

“Get used to it.” Leo managed to grab Savio, who screamed in protest. “It’s gonna be the norm for a while. I’m gonna take him to get him cleaned up.”

“We’ll meet you in the living room,” Donny said and then turned his attention to Raph and Mikey. “There’s French toast in the kitchen.”

“You cooked breakfast this morning,” Mikey said with a smile. “Leo would never make something so sweet.”

“Did the kids eat,” Raph asked. 

Donny nodded. “We fed them before coming to get you so you could sleep a little longer. Leo said you were up several times last night to take care of Yoshi. You know Leo would have helped you if you had let him.”

“I’m okay with doing it myself,” Raph said with a shrug. “Besides, Leo’s up early to take care of the kids.”

Yoshi whimpered and started to move. Raph was quick to reach down and pick him up. He didn’t want a second to go by that Yoshi thought that he was alone. 

Raph placed Yoshi on his chest with his head resting on his shoulder. Immediately, Yoshi’s hand stretched out to rest on Raph’s throat. “I’m ready for some breakfast,” Raph said to Mikey and moved to stand. 

“Not so fast,” Mikey said. “You don’t want to strain your stitches. Let me carry Yoshi.”

“Mikey’s right,” Donny said. “The doctors said that you shouldn’t carry anything heavy.”

“Yoshi’s hardly heavy,” Raph argued.

“He’s heavy enough,” Mikey said, reaching out. “I’ll give him back when you’re able to sit back down.”

“Fine,” Raph said and reluctantly allowed Mikey to take Yoshi. 

When Yoshi whimpered, Raph had to resist the urge to take him back. Mikey adjusted Yoshi in his arms and gently reassured him by patting his back. “I’ve got you, little dude.” Mikey placed Yoshi’s hand on his lips and kissed it. “You know me.”

“Let’s get to the kitchen so I can sit down and you can give him back to me,” Raph said grunting in pain as he got to his feet. 

“I’ll take these two to the living room,” Donny said, taking Alba by the hand. 

“We’ll join you after breakfast,” Mikey said, leading the way out of the room. 

Raph followed him out, staying close so that he could reach out and touch Yoshi. He knew that he was hovering. Fortunately, Mikey was understanding enough not to be bothered by it. Whenever Raph leaned in to check on Yoshi, Mikey would lovingly nuzzle him. Raph couldn’t help but smile, knowing that he didn’t have to fear his brothers’ touch. 

Chapter 14
Developing

As the weeks passed, Yoshi grew stronger. He no longer needed the feeding tube and would stay awake and engaging for longer periods of time. He strong enough to hold up his head, roll over and sit supporting himself with his hands on the ground for a few seconds. 

While guilt still had Raph reluctant to put Yoshi down, he was comfortable leaving him in the care of his brothers or father for a while. He needed to get back on a training schedule and rebuild some of his lost muscle mass. 

Once he was fully healed from his surgery, Raph started a rigorous training schedule with Splinter. Though he remembered how to fight, his body was unable to perform at the level it once was. So, he pushed himself passed his limits. 

He was determined to get back into fighting shape so that he could join his brothers out on patrol again. Staying at home while they were out, was maddening.

It was nearing time for them to leave. Raph had finished training and was showering the sweat from his body when Leo stepped into the shower with him. 

“How are you feeling,” Leo asked as he came up behind Raph to softly kiss him on the shoulder. 

“Sore,” Raph answered. “And, tired.”

Leo chuckled. “I hope you didn’t tire yourself out too much.” When Raph tensed, Leo rubbed his shoulders. “I’m not implying that I’m here for sex. I’m here to warn you that the kids are wound up right now and it doesn’t look like they will be going to sleep any time soon. You can thank Mikey for that. Do you think you will be able to handle them while we’re out on patrol?”

“Splinter will be there,” Raph said with a shrug. “It’s not like I’ll be alone with them.”

“Okay,” Leo said and reached for the brush to scrub Raph’s shell. “It’s passed their bed time so there’s a good chance that they will be cranky. If you find yourself overwhelmed, there are people here who can help.”

“Cranky?” Raph chuckled. “They must get that from you.” With a hum, Raph leaned against the wall. There was something therapeutic about having his shell scrubbed and it had been too long since he had had a good shell scrubbing. 

After a few good passes with the brush, Leo set it aside and began to massage Raph’s arms. His strong hands knew exactly where to press to make the muscles relax. 

“Better,” Leo asked once he was done working out one of the tighter knots. “I don’t want you so sore that you can’t pick up Yoshi.”

Raph let out a sigh and nodded. “I’m good.”

“Good,” Leo replied and kissed Raph as he turned off the water. “Now let’s get out so I can go on patrol.” 

After toweling off, Leo put on his gear while Raph simply put on his mask. There was no point in Raph putting it all on. It was all still a little loose on him anyway. 

Together they walked to their living room where the children were still playing. Mikey was focused on Yoshi, drawing laughter from the baby by kissing his plastron. 

“Hi,” Alba squealed, waving at them. 

When Mikey noticed Raph and Leo, he lifted Yoshi and carried him toward Raph. Yoshi verbally complained while tapping his fingers together in the sign Donny had taught him for ‘more’. 

“Looks like he’s not ready to quit playing,” Raph said as he reached out to take Yoshi. 

Mikey chuckled. “He loves to be tickled and I love to hear him laugh.”

As soon as he realized that he was being handed over, Yoshi settled down and held out his hand so that he could be ‘told’ who he was going to. Holding Yoshi with one arm, Raph positioned Yoshi’s hand so that the fingers were open and his thumb was touching his chin. 

Donny had taught Yoshi different signs to identify each of them and this one was for Raph. Leo’s was an open hand with the thumb touching the forehead. 

Happy that he was in Raph’s arms, Yoshi cooed and placed his head on Raph’s shoulder with his hand on Raph’s neck. 

“They are nowhere near ready to go to sleep,” Donny said as he stood. He had been playing with the children on the floor. Seeing that Donny had gotten up, Alba dropped her toys and got up as well. 

“Up,” she said as soon as she was in front of Raph, lifting her hands up to him. “Up.”

“They will be in bed by the time you return from patrol,” Splinter stated and then tapped Raph on the shoulder. “Sit in the recliner so you can hold both of them.”

“Good luck,” Donny replied with a smile. 

“We’ll see you in a few hours,” Leo said before leaving with Mikey and Don. 

“Stay safe,” Splinter said as they left. 

Raph got himself settled in the recliner and Splinter placed Alba in his lap. She immediately crawled over and kissed Yoshi’s cheek. “Sweet baby.” She then lifted her head to plant a kiss on Raph’s cheek. “Love you.”

“My sweet girl,” Raph said as he nuzzled her. “I love you.”

A tiny hand on his knee and a soft whimper caused Raph to look down to see Nevio looking up at him with his hands outstretched. “Up,” he demanded around his pacifier. 

“You wanna see the baby too,” Raph asked, bending down so Nevio could see Yoshi. “Be careful.”

Nevio shook his head, stomped his feet, and whimpered while he struggled to pull himself up onto Raph’s lap. “Up.”

With a soft chuckle, Splinter assisted Nevio up. “I do not think Yoshi is the reason he wants in your lap.”

To Raph’s surprise, Nevio did not crawl over to look at Yoshi. Instead he curled up on Raph’s left leg and rested his head on Raph’s plastron. As he sucked rhythmically on his pacifier, his eyes started to drift closed. 

Raph looked over to see that Alba had curled up against him and was starting to drift off as well. “I thought Donny said that they were nowhere near ready to sleep.”

“It seems as if he had been mistaken,” Splinter replied with a chuckle. “Are you alright?”

Raph through for a moment, worried that Nevio could fall. “Could you recline the chair for me,” he requested. “I think everyone will be okay if I’m leaning back.”

“Of course,” Splinter said and pulled the leaver on the chair. 

Now that Raph was leaning back, Nevio was a little more secure on his chest. 

Raph had Yoshi up on his left shoulder, Alba tucked under his right arm and Nevio on his left leg and chest. Nevio and Yoshi were already asleep. Savio was still on the floor with the toys but he was looking at them. 

Alba shifted and pat Raph’s unoccupied leg. “Savy, suggle.” 

Savio looked down at the toys and pushed them around. Then, his tiny mouth opened into a wide yawn. His head and eyes started to droop and he looked back over at Raph. 

“Are you sleepy,” Splinter asked him. 

“Yeah.” Savio nodded, rubbing his eyes. 

“Savy, suggle,” Alba said and pat Raph’s leg again. 

Savio thought for a moment and then turned to Splinter and reached his hands out. “Jiji, up.”

“Alright,” Splinter said as he bent down to pick up Savio. 

Raph settled back into the recliner. “Put your head back down,” he said to Alba. “Savio’s gonna snuggle with Jiji.” 

Alba planted her head on Raph’s shoulder and sighed. 

“Since I’m gonna be here a while, would you mind turning on the game?” Raph turned his head to look at Splinter just as he started to set Savio on Raph’s lap. “What are you doing? He’s gonna pitch a fit and wake the others.”

“He wants to be here,” Splinter said. “As soon as I picked him up he pointed at you.”

“He doesn’t like me,” Raph stated.

“I think his brother and sister have helped him to see that he was been wrong,” Splinter said with a smile. 

Savio snuggled against Raph’s leg with his head on his stomach and was almost immediately asleep. Splinter carefully removed the pacifier from Nevio’s mouth before turning the television on. 

Raph looked down at his children and smiled. Having them snuggled up against him made not being able to go out on patrol a little more bearable. 

…..

After patrol, Leo and his brothers took a quick shower to wash the grime from their bodies before bed. As soon as they were done, they toweled off and headed out in search for their family. 

First, they checked the nursery. Seeing that it was empty they headed to the living room. There they saw Raph sleeping in the recliner with all for children piled on top of him. Splinter was sitting in a nearby chair with his finger to his lips. “Don’t wake them,” he whispered. 

“Did they fall asleep like this,” Leo asked. 

Splinter nodded his head. 

Leo lifted an eye ridge. “Even Savio? You didn’t place him there after he had fallen asleep?”

“Even Savio,” Splinter said with a smile. “It looks like he is finally coming around. I could have moved the children to their beds a while ago but I could not bring myself to separate them.”

“I need a picture,” Mikey said, pulling his shell cell out of his belt. “This is too cute.”

“It is,” Leo agreed, glad to see Raph and their children were bonding.