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"description": "I kind of... mmm. I'm not sure how long this will be. It's really important and I want to make sure I get it right.\n\nAs backstory, a friend of mine posted [url=https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29074353/]a picture[/url] a few years back of a busty badge they'd gotten from an artist called Onnanoko. I like hyper stuff, and the year before I'd even gotten [url=https://inkbunny.net/s/1390873]this badge[/url] from Gideon, but in general I hadn't given much thought to getting something that was actually hyper-sized. I don't think it had occurred to me that I even could. But when I saw that upload it [i]really[/i] made me jealous. I said to myself that if I ever got the chance it would be really nice to get something like that from them.\n\nI'd almost forgotten about that (even after seeing Snao and Jaeh both do even more explicitly busty badge type stuff, and even getting something from... well, that'll come later...) but when I attended FWA 2022 I was extremely surprised to find Onnanoko manning a booth in the dealer's den. And so I immediately threw out my original plans and splurged on a badge from them. I gave them the link above, briefly explained that I would love something similarly busty, and left for the day, full of excitement to see what they would do.\n\nThe next morning I got a message saying my badge was almost ready and just needed my approval before lamination. So I hurried down, and Onnanoko pulled out... this.\n\nI was expecting something nice and horny. It's kind of hard for me to talk about, because even now, more than a year and a half onward, even just remembering the moment feels emotionally overwhelming. You might think it's... silly or strange... but...\n\n\n...\n\nI instantly thought, [b]\"I'm pretty!\"[/b]\n\nLike, that's it. That's all it was, right?\n\nI thought, \"I'm pretty,\" and it was like I got hit by lightning. I almost started crying because it made me so happy. I held it together, but I was probably trembling, and I took this picture, then I told Onnanoko to go ahead and laminate it while I immediately rushed back to my room and had to lay on the bed for ten minutes to compose myself.\n\n\nI dunno what else there is to say. I spent the next two days at the con on an absolute cloud. I actually felt more connected to Rykela wearing that badge than I can ever remember. I hated that I couldn't wear it the whole time because it was technically inappropriate. I wish I could wear it every day, even...\n\n\n\nI don't think I had realized until that moment that I'd grown distant from my own fursona. I know when most furries start out they tend to like... really empathize with their own fursona and view themselves through that imagined perspective, but Rykela had gradually turned into a secondary focus for me, fading into the background as just one object of porn to get off to among others. I kind of blame the intense stress of daily life... in its entirety...\n\nand on top of that, you know... I don't actually give much consideration to my RL self. I'm ambivalent about my own appearance and don't give any thought to whether I'm actually happy about it or whether I'm dissatisfied or not. Gender dysphoria was never really a consideration because I just never really thought about me, you know?\n\nAnd then I got this badge and I thought \"I'm pretty\" and I kind of...\n\nI kind of realized that I'd never actually thought that about myself before you know and I think maybe for the time being I'm gonna break it off here honestly\n\nI'll finish this and do some rewriting later, sorry",
"description_bbcode_parsed": "I kind of... mmm. I'm not sure how long this will be. It's really important and I want to make sure I get it right.
As backstory, a friend of mine posted a picture a few years back of a busty badge they'd gotten from an artist called Onnanoko. I like hyper stuff, and the year before I'd even gotten this badge from Gideon, but in general I hadn't given much thought to getting something that was actually hyper-sized. I don't think it had occurred to me that I even could. But when I saw that upload it really made me jealous. I said to myself that if I ever got the chance it would be really nice to get something like that from them.
I'd almost forgotten about that (even after seeing Snao and Jaeh both do even more explicitly busty badge type stuff, and even getting something from... well, that'll come later...) but when I attended FWA 2022 I was extremely surprised to find Onnanoko manning a booth in the dealer's den. And so I immediately threw out my original plans and splurged on a badge from them. I gave them the link above, briefly explained that I would love something similarly busty, and left for the day, full of excitement to see what they would do.
The next morning I got a message saying my badge was almost ready and just needed my approval before lamination. So I hurried down, and Onnanoko pulled out... this.
I was expecting something nice and horny. It's kind of hard for me to talk about, because even now, more than a year and a half onward, even just remembering the moment feels emotionally overwhelming. You might think it's... silly or strange... but...
...
I instantly thought, "I'm pretty!"
Like, that's it. That's all it was, right?
I thought, "I'm pretty," and it was like I got hit by lightning. I almost started crying because it made me so happy. I held it together, but I was probably trembling, and I took this picture, then I told Onnanoko to go ahead and laminate it while I immediately rushed back to my room and had to lay on the bed for ten minutes to compose myself.
I dunno what else there is to say. I spent the next two days at the con on an absolute cloud. I actually felt more connected to Rykela wearing that badge than I can ever remember. I hated that I couldn't wear it the whole time because it was technically inappropriate. I wish I could wear it every day, even...
I don't think I had realized until that moment that I'd grown distant from my own fursona. I know when most furries start out they tend to like... really empathize with their own fursona and view themselves through that imagined perspective, but Rykela had gradually turned into a secondary focus for me, fading into the background as just one object of porn to get off to among others. I kind of blame the intense stress of daily life... in its entirety...
and on top of that, you know... I don't actually give much consideration to my RL self. I'm ambivalent about my own appearance and don't give any thought to whether I'm actually happy about it or whether I'm dissatisfied or not. Gender dysphoria was never really a consideration because I just never really thought about me, you know?
And then I got this badge and I thought "I'm pretty" and I kind of...
I kind of realized that I'd never actually thought that about myself before you know and I think maybe for the time being I'm gonna break it off here honestly
I'll finish this and do some rewriting later, sorry",
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