The door to the town hall swung open, and a familiar, smiling face stepped inside.


“Hi, welcome to—“ Isabelle began in her always delightful manner, though she appeared even happier when she realized who it was that dropped in to say hi. “—Rover?! RO-VER!” She jumped from her seat and ran to him, tail wagging and eyes bright as the sky outside.


“Hey, Isabelle! Long time no see!” The kind cat opened his arms to welcome her incoming hug.


She was so happy to finally get to catch up with him. “What’re you doing here? I thought you were living the island life now!”


“Heheh, well, even on vacation, I can use a little vacation.” Rover giggled and stepped back from the hug. “And by that, I mean seeing some old friends and lending a helping paw where I can.”


“Oh…really? Well, I don’t mean to cut our reunion too short, but you actually came at the perfect time to help out!”


Rover had to admit to himself that he didn’t want to jump right into working, but Isabelle looked so relieved from his offer that he decided the coffee and chatting could wait ’till the end of the day. “Hey, wherever you need me, I’m your cat!”


“Thank you thank you thank you!!! We’re really short on helpers; I’ve actually got two shops that could use your help, but you can’t be in two places at once, so we’ll have to choose,” she explained. “It’s either you help out Blathers at the museum, or Kicks in his shoe shop.”


Rover knew very well what the more exciting option sounded like. Blathers would often…well, blather on about boring fossil facts, if he wasn’t sleeping instead, that is. It would either be really boring or really annoying, though he did still love the book-smart bird. So, he’d be crazy not to choose Kicks! His was another face in town that Rover really wanted to check in on. Sometimes his paws’d get worn out from his walking around, and the sweet-mannered skunk would always have the perfect pair of shoes to alleviate that stress.


“Oh, could I go to help Kicks?”


“Yes, of course!” she replied, her tail wagging again. After a moment, however, she appeared a bit worried. “Oh right! Our town policy states that I need to tell you this beforehand. I’m sure you’re aware that certain animals have certain…’qualities’ about them that may make them more difficult to work with. And skunks are no exception. (especially Kicks…)”


“Errm… are you talking about…” If Rover was being honest, he just wanted to see the look on Isabelle’s face having to explain something like this.


“His…odor, yes. A couple of canines who’ve volunteered before had some complaints about consistent…” she blushed and broke eye contact, “‘emissions.”


“Mya-hahahahowr! I take it they’ve never spent quality time with a skunk before, huh? No need to worry about that, Kicks and I have been pals for a while. I know he’s got a, uh, ‘talkative’ rear, but I’ve got a talkative mouth, so it’s not really something I can hold against him,” Rover assured her, though her anxiety was replaced by bashfulness thanks to his description.


“Heh, r-right! Alright then, this should work out just fine! He’s already opened up for the day and waiting for a helper, so just make your way over as soon as you can.”


“Can do! It was great to see you again, Isabelle.” He leaned forward for another hug, and she happily obliged. “Let’s meet up after we’re done with work, hm? I wanna tell you about my day after I’m done with it.”


“Oh, sure! I think I’ve got a little time to spare if I can get these villager requests all sorted out. Bones asked that we add a fire hydrant and I’m starting to think it might not be a bad idea…”


Rover popped out of the town hall and made his way up to main street where his black-and-white-furred friend was awaiting his help. Upon reaching the shop, he could see the skunk of the hour polishing off some of the merchandise he had on display. Rover pushed the door open and the bell rang.


“Welcome in! How can I help ya to—Rover! Is that you?” Kicks appeared delighted to see his old feline friend walk into the shop. “Are ya here to help out? Or just buy some shoes? I’ve been havin’ a heck of a mornin’ tryna get the shop set up. I overslept a fair bit…”


“Is that so? Well, yeah, I’m your helper buddy for the day! I thought I’d drop into town to volunteer and when Isabelle said that you needed some assistance, I was more than happy to pitch in,” smiled Rover.


“Aww, you’re the best, chum! Very much obliged,” Kicks smiled back. Though, Rover was picking up a little something else in his expression. That look in his eyes, was it…discomfort? He didn’t want to ask the skunk right away and muck up the good vibes they had going. Deciding it’d be best to avoid it for now, Rover moved on to talk about the day ahead of them.


“So! What can I help with here? That table’s looking a little bare if you want me to get some shoes set up on it,” Rover offered.


“Oh, sure! That’s a good idea, let me show you some o’ the inventory so you can choose what to put up. I trust your eye, chum.” Kicks motioned for Rover to follow him behind the checkout area. There, he opened a cupboard and showed his helper what he had available. “Here, squat down and take a look-see.”


Oh, boy! Here was Rover’s opportunity to get his nose more acquainted with his skunk pal’s scent. He did as Kicks said and bent his knees to bring his haunches to the floor. Now at eye level with the skunk’s hindquarters (and making sure to be quick about it), Rover lightly but purposefully breathed in through his nose. And boy, what a breath it was.


His fur and clothing had an intoxicatingly clean aura about them. The detergent and the shampoo worked in perfect harmony to give not something overwhelming, but instead a fresh and innocent presence. What wasn’t as innocent, however, was the underlying and unmistakable smell of skunk butt. Rover’s sensitive nose flared a little at the hint of Kicks’ intimate stench. 


There wasn’t much time for dawdling, though! Kicks would get suspicious if he just stayed there doing nothing, so Rover got himself back on task and grabbed two pairs of shoes from the cupboard, one green suede and the other brown leather. “How about these?” Rover proposed.


“Yeah, those are great! I think I also had a pair o’ boots stashed away in there somewhere. Can ya see ‘em?” asked the skunk.


Yes, he could see them, but a brilliant idea popped into Rover’s head. “Uhh…I don’t think so,” he said. “Could you pull them out for me? My arms are kinda sore from, uh…exercising yesterday…” Please work, please work…


“Oh, why didn’t ya just say so? No dramas, mate, I’ve gotcha.” Kicks motioned for Rover to step out of the way and got down on his knees in front of the cupboard. Rover took the opportunity to snack on the fruits of his devious ploy. Namely, the fresh peach below the fluffy black-and-white branch flagged above. Silently, he stepped over to situate himself directly behind the skunk to better take in the view. His tan slacks had perfectly formed themselves around his cute, squishy-looking bottom, even dipping slightly in the center where his bulbous cheeks met. Just this view would’ve been fun enough for Rover to enjoy, but what happened next only made things more exciting.


DING! The bell at the front rang yet again, this time for the first real customer of the day, and Kicks was fully startled by how suddenly it happened. So startled that he yipped and—


“ffFRRBT!”


—farted. Right in front of Rover. “Gah—w-welcome in!” Kicks did his best to maintain his professional demeanor as he pulled his head out from the cabinet—and right into the cloud of stink he’d just created. Before he could turn to see his customer, his eyes met Rover’s, and the cat was giving him a knowing gaze with a slight grin. Kicks’ face turned bright red.


“Hey Kicks! Sorry if I came in at a bad time,” said Tangy, who turned out to be the mystery guest. “Just needed some socks for Bones’ birthday.”


Hoping she wouldn’t notice his very obvious blush, Kicks set the boots he retrieved on the table, smiled and slowly ambled over to her so as not to bring the air he tainted with him. “Yeah, no biggie! They’re all hanging on the wall to your left there.”


Rover had a hard time containing his giggles. He thought Kicks was so cute trying to move right past his embarrassing outburst and run his shop like the professional, working skunk he was. 


“Oh, Rover’s here too?” Tangy noticed and waved to the cat. “Hi, Rover!”


“Yeah, I’m helping out today,” he said. “Not that Kicks needs it. He’s very efficient and polite.” Rover saw that Kicks blushed again at the remark he made, possibly having recognized the hint of playful sarcasm.


“Do you see a pair you like, Tangy?” the skunk asked.


“Hmmm…well…oh! Those look great, the orange ones on the top left!”


“Oh! O-Okay!” If Kicks was being honest with himself, he was reeeeally hoping that she didn’t choose any on the top two rows. His stepladder was currently broken and he had been jumping up to pull them off for the past week. Normally, this wouldn’t have been a huge problem for a nimble, young skunk like Kicks, but today was a little…different from most days, and not just because of Rover.


The reason that Kicks requested help from a volunteer was that he had overslept, which had a number of negative consequences suddenly forced onto the poor memphetid. Firstly, he couldn’t set up his store in time for opening, even though he ran straight there after throwing his clothes on. Secondly, he didn’t have the time to shine his own shoes. What were his customers going to think now? Finally, there was the biggest of his problems: he didn’t have any time to sit down for his morning bathroom trip, and nature was calling. And it wasn’t just some whisper he could ignore. No, nature was shouting.


He didn’t have time to think about that now, though. It was time to jump, and clench. The spry skunk squatted his haunches before suddenly leaping into the air.


PFFBT!


Of course. Of course he had to fart when he did that. Right in front of Tangy, too! And to add insult to injury, he missed the socks as well.


“Oh,” Tangy reeled back after being hit by the stench.


“S-Sorry, Tangy! I—“ Kicks nervously fumbled his words, his chest starting to feel heavier from the embarrassment.


“—i-it’s okay! I..uh…” she really had no idea what to say to make him feel better. Rover decided that now would be a good time to chime in.


“That’s an interesting way of giving yourself a little boost there, buddy! I had no idea skunks could fly with their farts,” he joked.


“Woah! That was…on purpose?” Tangy seemed shocked and amazed. She always was a little gullible…


“Uh—YES! Y-Yeah! Just a little, uh, ‘skunk trick, y’know? Just have to mind the smell, that’s all,” Kicks tried to appear as natural as he could about it.


“Wow!! It’s great to have an animal who uses their unique talents to provide good customer service. I can always count on you, Kicks. Or at least, I can always count on your butt,” she laughed.


Ugh, she did not have to say that last part. With a newly burning blush under his cheek fur, Kicks accepted Tangy’s bells and sent her on her merry way. And now, all he could think about was that ever-increasing weight in his lower abdomen.


It was always part of his daily morning routine to take care of his solid business at home before heading to work. Kicks took such great comfort in it that he would intentionally wake up a little earlier than he’d need to in order to get some extra time to himself on the porcelain throne. These weren’t little drop-offs, either. Despite his compact size, Kicks certainly ate his fill of the town’s famous peaches, as well as various dishes cooked and made for him by the grateful customers he had living in the village. Not to mention, the previous night there had been a celebration for the town’s fifth anniversary, and the villagers put together a potluck of delicious foods and snacks. Kicks blamed his food coma that caused him to oversleep on all of the enticing things the other villagers had brought the night before. And now, here he was with nagging gas, fully-packed bowels, and a store he had to keep watch over. It’s not like he could’ve left the place unattended while he went to the outhouse and…wait! Rover was there to help!


“ROV—“ Too much! He’s onto you! “uh…hey, Rover?” He had to at least give the impression he wasn’t about to pull down his pants and pop a squat right there.


“Ye-es?” the cat sang.


“I’ve gotta, uh…”


“—Hey, don’t worry.” Rover suddenly cut in. “I had a feeling you needed to take a bathroom break. I’m here to help, remember?”


“I—! I don’t need a…’bathroom break’, chum. I-I’ve just gotta—“


“—Easy, easy, it’s okay. We all gotta do it sometime, right? In fact, I missed the first train to the village because I was stuck at home on the ol’ litter box. At the rate I was going, I was worried I’d miss the second train as well, myahahowr!” Rover was now actively trying to get Kicks’ cheeks burning bright red, and so far he was very successful. “Sorry, was that kinda TMI?”


Kicks was a little speechless, but he gathered his words. “What?! Don’t say that, chum!” He nervously laughed and flopped his paw toward Rover in a feigned playfulness meant to hide the urgency boiling just beneath. “It’s nothin’, really, j-just a sign outside the shop I’ve gotta check.”


“Oh, a sign, huh?” Rover toyed with Kicks even more. “Y’know, I’ll go out there and check it with ya.”


“Huh? Uh, um, no…can’t do that,” the skunk stuttered. “We, erm…it’s the regulations. They say th-that there needs to be someone inside the bathroom at all times.”


“Inside…the bathroom?” Rover held back a giggle.


“—the STORE! Inside the store.” Kicks’ blush persisted as he kicked himself for that little slip. “Just…wait there chum, I’ll only be a minute…or five…”


He slipped out the front door with visible stiffness in his legs and his tail glued down over his hind end.


Curiously, Kicks walked directly past the signs in front of the shop and picked up his pace toward an entirely different destination.


Right on the other side of Main Street was a (recently installed) outhouse waiting just for him to finally sit down and do his thing. Up until now, he would only rush out to it for pee breaks, but he supposed there was a first time for everything. Maybe the wooden seat would feel nice on his—


“—OUT OF ORDER?!” This was a terrible roadblock for Kicks to encounter. He was so sure that he’d get to let loose that he could feel his bowels aching for release more aggressively now.


Pfffrrbt…


“Didn’t we put this dunny in like, a week ago?” He whined. “What happened?! It’s just a hole in the ground; how did it break?”


“I CAN TELL YOU WHY!” Kicks hears a familiarly grating voice from behind the door.


“R-Resetti? Is that you in there?”


The mole swung open the door. “Who do you think it is, HUH?! They wouldn’t make anyone else fix the town outhouse where everyone goes to drop ABSOLUTE STINK BOMBS. It’s always gotta be cranky ol’ Resetti who fixes the gross stuff,” he ranted. “And speaking of stink bombs, I’ll bet that’s what you came here to do, isn’t it?!”


“Uh…I—“


“—WELL TOO BAD! Somebody’s tail was SO BIG that they knocked out the wood paneling on the back! If you try to go, anyone on the other side’s gonna get a good look at yer unmentionables. Not to MENTION the breeze. Eeuugh, the breeze!” Resetti shivered. “Y’know, personally, I don’t mind a little of nature’s gentle kiss when I’m standing to drain the ol’ lizard. But when I’m dropping the kids off at the pool? NO WAY! Those kids aren’t leaving the car with that kinda cold wind outside.”


Kicks couldn’t get a single word in.


“Although, now that I think about it, didn’t all of us animals just go outside at some point? I can’t imagine that, can you? I mean, now, we’ve got toilets and outhouses and—“


“OKAY, okay!! Thank you, chum!” Kicks said firmly. He was normally willing to smile and nod through Resetti’s ramblings, but his situation was beginning to look dire. He placed a paw on his right butt cheek to keep things held in a little better, not concerned that the mole could probably see.


“Hey, I wasn’t finished! I figured you if all animals would know about stinky stuff like this! And…he’s gone. Way to go, Resetti. You always do this!”


With the poor mole stuck mumbling to himself in Kicks’ only hope for a private pooping place, the desperate skunk suddenly realized that Rover was probably getting suspicious about where he’d been. Maybe he already popped his head out and saw that his working partner was at the other end of the street, tail between his legs and hopping from paw to paw in front of the outhouse. However this turned out, he’d need to do his best to avoid an accident and save at least some face.


So, he hurried back in a quick shuffle and arrived at the door to his shop. Still determined to hide his “condition”, he straightened his posture out as best he could and entered his shop once more.


“Wow, that was fast!” Rover immediately commented loud and clear.


“Huh? What do you mean? I was just checking the windows—“


“—signs?”


“—SIGNS! I was just checking the signs. What’s the big deal?” He knows. He has to know. But just in case he doesn’t, he can still play dumb.


“Oh, nothing,” Rover grinned, “it’s just that I’m trying to figure out what could be bothering you. Judging from your movements, at least.”


“M-My movements…?” Kicks worryingly inquired.


“Yeah, you’re totally wound up, dude! You can say whatever you want, but I think I’ve figured out what’s going on from all the hopping around and tail-gluing,” Rover continued to tease the poor skunk.


“No! No no nononono you’ve got it all wrong, chum! I took care o’ that this morning, honest! Just like you and the, uh…th-the litter box…”


Before Rover could continue testing the boundaries of Kicks’ blushing capabilities, another customer opened the door.


“Welcome-!” the increasingly desperate skunk started to sound more strained in his voice.


“How can we help you today?” Rover also greeted the entrant, an avian (and freshly moved-in) villager named Jay.


“Hey there! Name’s Jay,” the bird smiled. “Everyone in the village was saying I needed to hit this place and get a shoeshine….and some shoes.”


“Nice to meet you, Jay!” Kicks did his best to maintain his upbeat air of hospitality, but it was getting incredibly hard to take his mind off of the aching and swelling in his rectum, even for just a moment. “I think I have some shoes around here made for birds. Rover, could you get that last pair on the end of the display? I’m gonna get the shoe shinin’ kit ready.”


“Sure thing, boss!” Rover complied and picked up the shoes to bring over to Jay. The kind avian stepped into his new kicks and hopped around, not too differently from how Kicks had been hopping that morning.


“They feel nice and comfy! I kinda get why other animals like these,” he quickly grew accustomed to the cushiony sensation. “And now you’re gonna make ‘em all shiny?”


“Right-o!” Kicks replied, though he was starting to get nervous about this next part. He knew that in order to get these shoes to his usual standard of shininess, he’d have to squat down low and really put his back into it. There was, of course, the option to ask Rover for his assistance. The problem was that Kicks didn’t want to give Rover the satisfaction of him pretty much admitting that he needed to go in order to pass the buck. That, and he was a little worried Rover would mess it up and jeopardize his shop’s reputation. “Okay then, make yourself comfortable on the chair beside the table.”


Jay did just this and Kicks bent his back very cautiously to set his kit on the ground. He was usually careful to squat his haunches down instead of getting on his knees; the floor of his shop was always a bit dirty with leftover polish and other oils he could never manage to get out of his clothes. Lost in thought, the skunk debated whether to act natural and test the strength of his sphincter or to try to find a towel or something. But, he didn’t know if he had a towel or a rag or a…


“Kicks?...…KICKS!” Rover snapped his friend back out of his head. “You okay?”


“H-Huh?! Yeah! I’m all good, chum!” Anyone who knew Kicks well could see the desperation in his eyes. They had a look one could really only associate with the number two. “Just about to get started here.”


Forgoing his towel plan, he focused to feel the loaves he’d been baking and how best to keep the steam from escaping the pressure cooker. There was certainly a lot of solid stuff hiding in there, and some gas bubbles sneaking around the warm, brown formations of skunk-dung. If he kept the exit tightly locked up, he should be able to leave his customer with shiny shoes and an unoffended nose, he thought.


“This should only take a minute,” he said and prayed he was right.


Things started off pretty well with the polishing. Kicks had gotten into his usual rhythm, though that’s not to say it wasn’t being threatened by all of the knocking at his back door. Making sure to keep his pink pooter as puckered up as he could, he hit all of the points he needed to on Jay’s new shoes to make them shine. He was so in the flow, in fact, that he didn’t even notice he had knocked the little jar of shoe polish onto its side. Rover saw this, but decided not to mention it, just to see where things would go. Maybe a little irresponsible of him, but he was having a lot of fun being irresponsible with Kicks today.


“Wow, they’re looking good! I could go to a fancy dinner or something with these on,” Jay remarked.


“H-Heh, thanks!” Kicks loved getting praised for his hard work. It almost took his mind off of the happenings in his butt! Even though that problem still persisted, he was happy that he could keep things held in as he made his finishing touches. “Awright, just about finished up! For the shoes and the shoeshine, your total comes to 1200 bells.”


“Sounds good! I just sold a bunch of fish, so I’m kinda swimming in it right now,” Jay laughed. He fished out his bell bag and counted out his payment for Kicks before handing it over.


“Thank you kindly! I’ll get the receipt for you,” said Kicks. Okay, just do this, then you’ll have a moment to figure out what the heck to do. Crikey, it’s gettin’ real bad down there…


Lost in his head, he didn’t notice that his very first step landed smack dab in the middle of his freshly-made shoe polish puddle.


Sswip!!


And just like a cartoon, Kicks slipped, flew forward, and landed on his belly. He managed to catch his upper body with his paws, but as for his lower half…


FLLLRRBBBBBRrrt!!!


An enormous fart ripped from Kicks’ vulnerable hole, echoing through the shop as if it were a concert amphitheater. The skunk’s face went bright red as he lay frozen on the floor.


“…”


“…”


Rover felt that the best way to make Kicks burn redder than a tomato would be to remain totally silent with Jay, at least for a few seconds.


“Did someone step on a duck or something?” He offered.


“Hey!!” said Jay the avian, a little offended. “Seriously though, that was loud.” He couldn’t help but giggle after that comment. Although, his and Rover’s smiles turned to frowns shortly after they caught the stench.


“Aw, there’s no mistaking that smell. That was definitely from a skunk,” Rover said.


“I don’t think there was any question about that,” Jay said, his wings over his beak making him sound nasally. “Uh, you need us to help you up, Kicks?”


“N-no…” the skunk replied meekly. He pushed himself up with his paws and clenched his exit to avoid further embarrassment. Rover could tell Kicks was humiliated, and although it was cute, he didn’t want the skunk to be feeling like that all day.


“Don’t worry Kicks, you’re being a good sport, especially after something like…that. We won’t tell anyone, right Jay?”


“—huh?” Jay quickly stopped tapping on his phone and shoved it in his pocket. “Y-Yeah! Of course not…”


Oh no… was all Kicks could think.


“You know what, I’m all good without a receipt. Save a tree, right? Heheh…” Jay awkwardly stepped to the door. “Uhhhh… see you around!” The bell rang and just like that, he was gone.


“Aw, crikey…” the day had been falling apart before Kicks’ (and unfortunately also Rover’s) very eyes.


“Still sure that you already took a bathroom break this morning?” asked Rover with a grin.


If Kicks had a mean bone in his body, he’d have glared daggers at Rover after saying that. Since he was so good-natured, though, he could only concede his secret.


“AWRIGHT, FINE! I’ve…got to go…”


“…?”


“…to the dunny.”


“Y’know, if you’d told me earlier, I would’ve been able to warn you about the outhouse,” said Rover.


“How’d you know—?!”


“First, you’re a terrible liar.”


Kicks looked at the ground; he knew it was true.


“Second, I happen to know the villager who broke it, but I won’t say their name ‘cause I’m a cool cat. Kinda like how I won’t tell anyone you spent the whole morning pretending you didn’t need to poop and ended up gassing your customers in the shop.” Kicks remained silent, stewing in his embarrassment. “And lastly, about that first thing, it would’ve been reeeeally good if you had let me know earlier, because other than that outhouse, I’m stumped on where you would be able to find a toilet.”


Kicks knew that his toilet options were exhausted, but he secretly hoped Rover had a trick up his sleeve or knew about some hidden bathroom Blathers had in the back of the museum or something. Now that it was confirmed the outhouse was the only place, he got more worried. His load was only getting heavier by the minute. That familiar, urgent fullness in his rectum had him whining softly and shuffling his thighs. “Really? Are you sure there isn’t any other place I could…?”


“Not that I can think of,” Rover put his paw on his chin and pondered. What felt like yet another bubble of gas poked at Kicks’ tender exit, though something was a little different this time. Feeling it push more urgently against his puckered, pink star, he was met with an overwhelming dose of reality: that was a log nearly poking out down there.


“Mmmph!” Kicks whined much louder than he would’ve liked. “Ohhhh crikey! Seriously, there’s no place?! I-It’s an emergency now!!!”


“I mean…” Rover had an idea, but he really wasn’t sure about it. Kicks looked like he was about to burst, though, so he figured giving shoddy information to the skunk would’ve been better than none. “You know the Happy Home Showcase, right?”


“The Happy Ho…ROVER! That’s a great idea, chum! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!” Kicks, his right paw tightly against the center of the crevice of his rear, scurried to the front door of the shop. “I need you to stay in here while I’m gone. Is that okay?”


“Uhhh…I don’t know if I know how to—“


“Thanks, chum! I’ll only be a minute, I swear!”


Finally, he’d get to drop this heavy burden off where it belongs! That feeling of relief upon hearing he’d be able to poop soon, however, sent his bowels into “impending evacuation” mode. The log that had previously made itself known to Kicks poked out yet again, and the skunk had to physically slow down in order to clench and keep the mudslide behind the pink gates.


In the shop, Rover thought for a moment about holding down the fort like he was asked, though it wasn’t long before he decided against it and went into stealth-mode to see where this embarrassing predicament would lead his skunky friend. Being careful not to let the door’s bell sound out, he switched the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed’ and stayed a safe distance behind his mark.


Just ahead of Rover, each shop Kicks passed was occupied by the familiar owners he’d see every day. Unlike any other day, however, he did not want them to stop him for tea time. Finally past the last of the shops, he met his first obstacle: Digby.


“Hey there, Kicks!” the pup cheerfully greeted the skunk.


“Sorry chum, c-can’t stop to chat right now!”


Digby, one finger up and his mouth hanging open, was shocked by this abnormal behavior. What could he have been in such a rush for? The poor canine couldn’t even say “no worries” before Kicks started to hop up the steps behind him. The skunk was focused and quick in his ascent, though not without some embarrassing emissions creeping past the giant, compacted loaf in his rectum.


PRRbt!


Pfroopt!


Fttpt…


Each step forced out little poots from his rear, and he knew there was no way Digby couldn’t hear them. Without so much as a glance back in the dog’s direction, Kicks tried his best to save himself from the humiliation and continued on his desperate escape towards a private bathroom.


Rover followed a few seconds later, and as he approached Digby, he held a finger up to his lips and winked. Digby took the hint and didn’t say anything out loud as Rover passed by and ascended the stairs, though he was now extra confused about what the heck was happening. So, he followed just behind Rover up the stairs, and although Rover could hear him stepping up behind him, he figured that rather than addressing him, he’d just let the dog tag along for the surely entertaining ride.


Right ahead of them, Kicks was met with rows upon rows of immaculate model homes. Jackpot! he thought to himself. One of these must have a toilet or something I can use! With that many homes at his disposal, it was a reasonable assumption to make that one would have a place for him to do his business, though the Happy Home Showcase was anything but reasonable.


He rushed over to the first front door he could see, but upon entering, he was shocked to see that not only was there just a single room filled with frilly furniture, but that it also lacked the single thing he needed the most.


“Seriously?” he whined, knees bent and thighs pressed together. Abandoning his first potential respite, he hoped that the next home he entered wouldn’t be so under-equipped. He waddled over next-door, now even closer to dropping his pants and dropping one on the floor, and worriedly turned the doorknob. “Are you KIDDING ME?!”


In this home was a gold-plated bathtub, shower, and sink, but absolutely no sign of a toilet. “Isn’t that the most important part of a bathroom?! What the heck is going on here?!?!”


_____________


As poor Kicks checked in the houses for his seemingly non-existent salvation, something else was happening in the Happy Home Showcase. The director of the program, Lyle the otter, had been showing a famous town couple around the displays. They’d been considering building a new house, and today was their only free day to check together.


“So, I take it nothing so far has been to your liking?” Lyle inquired.


“Well…they’re all very nice, really! It’s just, they all seem a bit…” the pink alpaca trailed off, unable to find the word she was looking for.


“Predictable,” Cyrus chimed in. “We need something that we’ve never seen before, y’know? I build things for a living, so it’ll take something rather exotic to impress us.”


“Exotic, huh?” Lyle thought for a moment and soon came up with a place that they might fall in love with. “Y’know, I think I’ve got an idea! It’s at the other end of the showcase near the entrance, but it will be worth the walk, I assure you.”


_____________


From the entrance of the showcase, both Rover and now Digby could spot Kicks running frantically between the homes. Kicks had already checked another two models, and both of them were as much failures as the first two were. Things were getting bad. 


“Ohhhh, mpph...” the skunk’s whines and groans were only surpassed in frequency by the rumbling in his abdomen and the short plumes of gas sputtering out from under his tail. It was official: he was getting dangerously close to pooping himself. “If this next place doesn’t have one…I really don’t know what I’ll do,” he worried out loud.


The final place he’d be entering had an immaculately-trimmed, Japanese-style garden out front, and the architecture certainly complemented the land-of-the-rising-sun aesthetic well. “Pleasepleasepleaseplease,” Kicks opened the sliding-screen front door, turned on the light, and urged the universe to throw him a bone, and throw him a bone it did! Although, this bone was shaped a little weird…


“WHAT in the great barrier reef is THIS THING?!?!?” 


Built into the floor in the center of the room in front of him was some kind of strange porcelain receptacle facing the back wall. Thankfully for the desperate skunk, it didn’t take long for him to realize that this was indeed a toilet, just…not the kind we was used to. He closed the door behind him and approached the toilet.


“How are you supposed to…?” Kicks barely had enough time to think; he could already feel his body committing to dropping this load within the next thirty seconds. Quickly, he fumbled with his button and zipper and dropped both his pants and underwear to his ankles, checking over his shoulder to make sure he didn’t leave the door open. He already felt extremely vulnerable with both garments around his ankles, but after trying to step forward and realizing that keeping them there would likely cause some major issues, he pulled his shoes through the pant legs, stepped out of them, and kicked them to the side.


___________


“We’re just about there,” Lyle assured his clients following behind him.


“This’d better be something special, Lyle. I want only the best for my wife, nothing less,” Cyrus reminded the otter.


“Hey, honey, is that…Rover? Over there with Digby?” Reese suddenly noticed.


“Why yes, I think it is! Y’know, maybe he could give us some advice with this as well,” Cyrus suggested. So long as he keeps his paws to himself.


Just across the way, both Rover and Digby noticed the alpacas and the otter looking in their direction. Figuring it might be fun to get more animals in his group, Rover lightly jogged over to them, Digby still following closely behind.


“Hey guys,” Rover made sure not to speak too loudly. His nose and surely Digby’s as well picked up a little skunky scent nearby and he didn’t want said skunk to know he was on his trail.


“Hey Rover, good to see you!” Reese greeted him.


“We need a little help if you’ve got a minute. Just your two cents on what kinda place we should build,” Cyrus got straight to the point.


Rover, the devious cat he was that day, realized that this would be a perfect opportunity to lead a group of unsuspecting villagers right into an overwhelmingly embarrassing scenario. All he had to do was follow his nose, which Kicks had made pretty easy for him to do. “Well, that place right over there looks pretty cool, doesn’t it?” Rover pointed over to the Japanese-style home where he sensed Kicks must’ve been scoping out and possibly already using as a private bathroom. It must’ve been his lucky day, because Lyle smiled and agreed.


“Yes! I was just about to take them to see it! Let’s check it out together, you, me the alpacas, and the dog. Bang!” he suggested in his fast-talking real estate voice. So, all five animals started to walk towards the perfectly manicured front lawn just as Kicks was still figuring out the squat toilet in front of him.


With his pants and underwear fully off and resting on the ground next to him, the soon-to-be-relieved skunk awkwardly straddled the white porcelain built into the floor. Fully removing his pants had made him nervous, and just before he squatted down, he noticed that his rear end would be facing the front door, so that nervousness only escalated further. At this point, however, there was no turning back. He was already turtle-heading, after all.


“Please, for the love of all that’s good…” Kicks looked back to the door before finally squatting down, “no one come in here.”


Carefully grabbing onto the metal bar situated at the front of the toilet, the desperate skunk lifted his tail up high and finally relaxed the muscles he’d been clenching for so long… right when both of the front doors slid open and an audience of five innocent onlookers arrived at the scene. Well, four innocents and one very devious feline.


Kicks’ ears perked up before he turned his head over his shoulder and was met with his absolute worst nightmare. And the poor (or lucky) animals standing in the door were met with a sight they’d surely never forget.


“NonoNONONO!” Kicks locked eyes with his audience and begged them not to look in a blabbering fit of panic. Why were so many of them suddenly here? And why right this moment? And…was that Rover?! What was he doing here?!? The newly arrived animals could only collectively gasp before the show started, and there was no way they were gonna take their eyes off of this, be it from simple shock or morbid curiosity.


Without so much as a fart to sound its arrival, Kicks’ long-baking first log crowned from his fully exposed tailhole. The silence that the tension in the room brought about made it easy for everyone to hear the light pops and other embarrassing noises escaping around the less uniform parts of the head of his turd. Said head was a densely compacted collection of what looked like brown pebbles, and although it was slow to get its start leaving Kicks’ tender opening, it gradually became softer as it inched outward.


“Kicks, what are you DOING?!?!?” Lyle shouted in concern for his once-clean Japanese centerpiece of the model home.


“S-Stop watching!!! I didn’t have any ch-choice!” Kicks defended himself, though with how vulnerable he looked squatting with half a log poking from his pink exit, it was hard not to find the whole thing a little funny.


“Oh…gosh,” was the only thing Reese the alpaca could say, having never seen anything like this before. And while the sight itself was absolutely shocking, the smell truly almost knocked out everyone who was watching. Some of their paws went to cover their noses as Kicks continued to endure what was perhaps the most humiliating thing to ever happen to him in his young life. His waste continued its way out from between his black and white-furred cheeks. 


Pffffss…ppppp…


At about a whopping nine inches in length, Kicks’ log, which had started out so hard and compacted, tapered to a soft, lighter-brown tip and plopped onto the dry porcelain below his rear with a damp, dense plop.


“Kicks, seriously—” Lyle tried to get his attention as he heard a slight sigh of relief from the squatting skunk, though he was suddenly interrupted by…


—FffffFRRRRBPPT!


A plume of hot, putrid gas burst free from under Kicks’ tail after the blockade had been forced out, and boy was it a sight and smell to behold. The faces on the animals in the audience only turned redder seeing Kicks’ exposed, poop-stained butthole vibrate from the air being forced out of its tight opening. 


Although Kicks wanted nothing more than for this all to end and for him to get some privacy, a groan from the lower part of his abdomen told him that he wouldn’t be finished with his embarrassing display yet. Not unless he was willing to let a log slide out as he was running away. He whined and prepared himself to honor his body’s insistence of forcing out more waste.


But it was right at the moment when the skunk’s pink exit slowly started to spread around the tip of his next stink bomb that Lyle got to finish saying what he wanted to earlier.


“There’s no plumbing!!! It’s not a real toilet!” Lyle frantically explained. Kicks’ stomach had already dropped to the bottom of his chest, but this revelation made it practically sink to the floor.


“WHAT?!” Poor Kicks felt like even more of an absolute buffoon than he had up until that point, and this feeling was only heightened by the strange sensation of performing one of his most private and personal acts in front of five different animals who he knew personally, and who now knew him more personally than he ever wanted them to.


Another groan, and Kicks could only push harder in the hope it would speed this incredibly humiliating fiasco up and grant him a sense of salvation. His soft log crackled and almost appeared as if it was steaming on its way down from his rear. And this second one was no slouch in length, either; it was just about as long as the first one, only smellier and a lot more messy. After this one also tapered to a less defined but still pointed tip, his rear got talkative yet again.


PFFT! Ppppp…


At that point, Cyrus, Reese, Lyle and Digby had absolutely no idea what to say. They just stood there in a complete stupor, eyes glued to the disaster before them. Rover, however, thought it might be nice to give his friend some words of encouragement.


“Keep pushing, Kicks! You’re a squat toilet pro!” he joked.


“YOU’RE supposed to be at the shop!” Kicks shot back at the funny feline, obviously still very frustrated by his predicament. Simply wanting this to be over very soon, Kicks pushed and strained again, the muscles under his butt fur shifting and anus pronouncing outward once more. “Are you all seriously still watching?!”


“Uhhh…” Digby vocalized but realized he had nothing to say. He could only watch Kicks’ next loaf as it slowly left the oven, warm and fresh.


Kicks shifted his weight a little, feeling fatigued in his thighs. “Turn around and cover your eyes or something!” he begged. This next turd appeared to be a little thinner than those before it, and the smell only got worse. Puffs and pops accompanied Kicks’ soft whines; he had about a million anxious thoughts running through his head at that moment. Kicks’ tailhole was so tired from all the pushing that after most of the log had emerged, he pinched it off near the end. Of course, this left his exit much dirtier than before, which is when the poor skunk noticed that the display roll of toilet paper situated nearby was made of plastic.


He could still feel a little nugget left in his rectum, but he honestly couldn’t handle any more embarrassment than he’d endured until that point. He tried to cover his dirty rear end with his big, poofy skunk tail, but the damage had already been done. Standing up from his squatting position, the mess covering his once pink butthole smushed around and made his already cherry-red face burn even redder.


“Wow. Uhh…” Rover spoke up. Yes, he had been pushing Kicks to the point where he’d have to admit that he had to poop, but he wasn’t expecting a full-view pooping performance with fellow audience members at his side. 


Barely able to make eye contact with any of the animals who just watched him take a massive dump, Kicks could only muster two words, “M-My bad,” before he bent over, grabbed his pants off the floor, and ran straight past the onlookers as he held his garments in a ball over his privates. They watched his fluffy cheeks bounce lightly away out of the showcase, absolutely speechless for at least a few moments.


“...Well…I’m not cleanin’ that up,” Rover eyed the pile of skunk dung sitting there and stinking up the room.


“Uhhhmm… Lyle, it was a nice place but…I think we need some more time to decide,” Reese said. “Come on honey, we should be heading back to the shop.”


“R-Right,” Cyrus agreed and took his wife’s arm before walking her back to the town.


Digby took that opportunity to excuse himself as well. “Hey, I’ve gotta get back to my post. Uh…see you around, Lyle!” Which left the somehow speechless, fast-talking otter standing in the doorway with a heck of a mess on his paws.


“Ohhhh crap…”