The sun rose high above the pridelands, blanketing the grassy hills with light. Today was a very special day for the lion guard, as they had nothing to look after. The five friends needed a day off after working to defend the pridelands from evil forces every day. Their work was tiring, and no one was more excited to relax than Kion was. Leading the lion guard was no easy task, and a day off was just what the lion cub needed.


Kion woke up to a honey badger hovering over him.


“RISE AND SHINE, KION!” yelled Bunga relentlessly. “Don’t wanna be late for your day off, do ya!?”


Kion rolled over to face down and covered his head with his paws. “Bunga, this is the one day we have where it’s okay to be late,” the lion cub muttered, sounding annoyed.


“Oh yeah...well, no use wasting your time being asleep now. Let’s explore!” proposed Bunga.


“Well, I guess I’ve already woken up…” said Kion grumpily. The lion cub stood up slowly and reluctantly followed Bunga outside. He squinted at the bright light from the sun shining in his eyes, but he soon adjusted. One would assume that Kion had been upset because he was woken up early, but in reality, it was because he didn’t get to take his nightly trip to the little cub’s room the night before. The lion guard had been on a late mission and by the time they had gotten back, Kion was ready to sleep.


“Boy, it sure is hot out this morning…” said Kion, panting slightly. 


“This morning? Kion, it’s already lunchtime!” said Bunga.


“What?! It is?” asked Kion. He looked up at the sky to confirm that the sun was indeed at the peak of its arc. “Aw man, there goes some of my day off already…”

“Hey, it’s okay!” said Bunga, comforting his friend. Bunga looked around and saw Kiara’s friends talking to each other a few yards away. “Tiifu and Zuri are over there, why don’t we see what they’re doing today?”


A smile covered Kion’s muzzle. “Yeah, that should be fun!” he said enthusiastically.


The two buddies approached the lioness cubs and saw that they were giggling.


“Hey, Kion!” they both said together.


“Hey, girls, nice to see you again,” responded Kion.


“What? Why don’t I get any love here?” asked Bunga.


“Sorry,” said Tiifu, “Hey, Bunga.”


“Much better,” said Bunga, now smiling.


“Well, today’s my day off and I was wondering if you two were doing anything today?” asked Kion.


“Well,” said Zuri, “we were about to head over to the watering hole for a quick dip. Care to join us?”


“Sure,” said Kion, “that sounds super refreshing on a hot day like this. C’mon Bunga.”


The four of them began walking over to the watering hole, but Kion was having some issues. His stomach was acting up, and was beginning to rumble. Not only that, but the feeling of needing to poop was coming over him. He lowered his tail and clenched his furry cheeks slightly, and Bunga took notice. 


“Hey, Kion, what’s the matter?” asked Bunga. The girls heard this and turned their heads a little to listen in.


“It’s nothing, Bunga, just still a little cranky is all,” responded Kion.


“If you say so, Kion,” said Bunga, “but I think it kinda looks like you--”


“--I’m fine, Bunga! Just let it go,” said Kion, blushing at the fact that the girls were listening in. He was pretty sure they didn’t know what was going on, but was still embarrassed nonetheless. 


The group eventually arrived at the watering hole, where it was bustling with animals. It was to be expected, as today was especially hot. There was an open spot close to the shore where the girls ran to jump in, and Kion and Bunga followed suit. They all swam around a bit to cool off and eventually settled down to a point where they were sitting in groups of two, opposite with each other (Kion with Bunga and Zuri with Tiifu).


“So, Kion,” asked Tiifu, “What’s it like fighting bad guys in the lion guard?”


“Well, it’s certainly a lot of hard work,” said Kion, grinning a little. “The pridelands certainly don’t protect themselves.”


“Pretty impressive, huh?” added Bunga, causing Zuri and Tiifu to giggle. “There was even this one time where Kion did a backflip to dodge Janja when he was closing in on an attack.”


“Wow, Kion!” praised Zuri.


“Can you do the backflip for us?” asked Tiifu.


“Ummm…” said Kion, looking at Bunga, then back at the girls, “I can try, I guess, heh heh.”


Kion firmly planted his paws in the shallow water by the shore and bent all of his limbs. He closed his eyes and sprang up, but he didn’t have any traction underwater and ended up landing on his back with his hind legs spread open. He splashed Bunga and himself in the eyes with water, and Tiifu and Zuri got a very personal look at Kion down below. They stared and giggled at each other, and Kion stood up and wiped the water from his eyes.


“Hey, what’s so funny?” he asked.


“Oh, nothing…” Zuri said innocently.


He was about to ask her again, but the urge to go to the bathroom washed over Kion once again. The cub looked rather uncomfortable and shifted around a little. Bunga saw that the girls were engaged in their own conversation apart from Kion and himself, so, after noticing Kion’s discomfort, he whispered to him about it.


“Pssst, Kion,” whispered Bunga, “what’s going on with you?”


Kion had already tried hiding the fact that he needs to poop from Bunga, but he was beginning to believe that Bunga already knew what was going on.


“Okay…” whispered Kion. “You know how I always like to go potty when we get back from our missions?”


“Do I?” whispered Bunga, “I walk past the tree you like to poop behind every night before I go to bed. The smell really gives it away, you know…”


Kion blushed at what Bunga said to him. “Well, we got back kinda late last night, and I didn’t get a chance to go…”


“...and now you have to go bad?” finished Bunga. Kion nodded and closed his hind legs together underwater with a nervous look on his face.


“I need to go now, but I can’t let the girls find out,” Kion whispered, “they’ll laugh at me forever and tell all of their friends about it too. Do you see anywhere around here I can sneak off to do my business?”


Bunga scanned the environment until he saw a collection of bushes behind them on the shoreline. “There are some bushes back there,” Bunga whispered.


“Yeah, but they’re straight ahead of the girls,” said Kion.


“But it’s the only private place around here,” argued Bunga, “unless if you think you can make it back to pride rock…”


Kion’s bowels shifted heavily, causing him to say, “no way, I think I have to go here…can you keep the girls’ attention towards you while I go? I have an idea…”


“Hey, what were you guys talking about?” asked Tiifu.


“Oh, nothing,” said Bunga.


“Hey, Bunga, I think I saw something rustling in those bushes over there,” said Kion, “I think I’m gonna go check it out. Do you girls mind if I leave for a second?”


“Go ahead, Kion!” said Zuri.


“Yeah, see if it’s a baddie trying to eat animals in the pridelands!” said Tiifu.


“Alright, I’ll be back in a bit,” said Kion nervously, his tail stuffed between his legs as he waddled out of the water and over to the bush.


The lion cub made sure he was concealed so that the girls wouldn’t see him in his very private moment. He was a bit nervous because the bushes allowed the girls to see his upper half, but his private parts would be covered. Satisfied with how well-concealed his lower half was, Kion squatted low and raised his tail, letting nature take its course. Just as he squatted however, he felt a sharp pain on his behind! He had sat directly on a burr and it poked right into his tailhole.


“AHH!!” yelled Kion, jumping up from the pain. 


“Are you okay, Kion?!” shouted Zuri.


Kion knew he couldn’t tell them what had happened. “Uh...yeah! Just got scared by this thing I found. I’m trying to catch it now, haha!”


Phew, that was a close one, Kion thought to himself. He brushed it off and decided he needed to begin his potty trip quickly.


Kion started by farting loudly into the ground, which he did not originally intend to do. He was worried the girls heard the noise, so he looked up but was relieved to see that his friend Bunga was distracting them from the show he was putting on under his tail.


“Phew...thanks Bunga,” Kion whispered to himself.


Once the gas was out of the way, Kion pushed a little harder and out came the tip of his first log. It slid out slowly and Kion grunted as he heard it crackle and slide out of his butt. It eventually landed with a soft plop on the dirt underneath his haunches, and Kion let out a hefty sigh.


“Have you found anything yet, Kion?!” yelled Tiifu over to the pooping lion cub.


Kion almost jumped, as he did not expect to have to talk to the girls while he was doing his duty.


“Ummm...yeah! I’m wrestling with it under my paws right now actually!” lied Kion.


He was worried their attention would still be focused on him but Bunga succeeded in drawing it away again. Kion relaxed again and grunted, pushing out the tip of another log, sighing as it slithered out slowly with audible crackles. This log was softer, and it curled up on the ground after leaving Kion’s butthole. It was followed up by a silent fart that Kion felt blow from his behind, smiling as it released pressure.


Meanwhile, Thurston the zebra had gotten separated from his herd and was looking for a place to get some water. He stumbled upon the very popular watering hole and approached an empty spot where he believed no one to be. Just past the trees and bushes were gallons of water, just waiting to be sipped. Thurston moved through the vegetation swiftly, but when he got to the bushes, he stumbled upon a rather unpleasant sight. 


“Oh my goodness, Kion! What on earth are you doing?!” yelled Thurston. Zuri and Tiifu looked over to Kion, who they saw look at the zebra with a nervous smile. 


The zebra had caught the lion cub in perhaps the most embarrassing position possible, with his derriere facing the zebra and his tail raised with a log halfway out, which Kion pinched off out of fear. The lion cub turned around with a blush and a sheepish smile, looking down at the pile that had already accumulated.


Bunga knew his friend was in trouble and that he needed to distract the girls again. 


“Hey! Zuri! Tiifu! How much water do you think I can drink in twenty seconds?” asked Bunga.


“I dunno,” said Tiifu.


“Are you gonna drink some right now?” asked Zuri.


“Sure!” yelled Bunga as he began to chug water, Now Kion had the opportunity to talk to Thurston.


“Don’t look, Thurston! What are you doing here anyway?!” Kion said in an agitated whisper.


“Well, I…” Thurston began loudly, drawing more attention to Kion.


“Look, Thurston, I need you to be quiet about this right now…” whispered Kion, signalling to the girls in the water.


“Well at least explain to me what you’re doing making a number two over here? Someone might see you out here! We zebras always find a private, secluded place to drop our feces,” said the zebra, now sniffing the air, “Oof! And ours certainly doesn’t reek of rotten meat.”


“I didn’t have anywhere else to go, okay?” argued Kion, now blushing, “and I’m a lion, I can’t really help the smell…”


“Well, I’ll go now, but I wanted to let you know that you’re dirty,” said Thurston.


“Don’t call me dirty, Thurston!” said Kion.


“No, I meant under your tail...on your....you know…’exit’,” said Thurston reluctantly, now galloping off.


Kion’s eyes widened as he lifted his leg to see that his butthole was indeed now dirty. He was hoping to be able to go without having to wipe, but now that certainly wouldn’t be an option. He was upset, but he soon felt his poop pushing at his entrance again, so he squatted over his pile of lion business and grunted again. First came the other half of the log that Kion was pushing out before Thurston came. It took some time to slide out, but eventually tapered off and landed with a plop on the pile of poop already below it. Kion sniffed the air and scrunched his nose, reacting to the smell.


“Blech, I guess Thurston was right...it kinda smells like the antelope I had a couple nights ago,” admitted Kion to himself.


The lion cub still felt he had to poop just a little bit more, so he squatted again and raised his tail high. His butthole began to open around his last log and it slowly moved its way out of Kion’s rear. This one took some extra grunting and pushing from Kion, but he eventually got it to exit and plop on top of his pile.


“Haaaaahhhhhhh,” sighed Kion, “felt good to get that out of my system…”


The lion cub thought he was finished, but he soon felt his bladder twinge after his last log, making him instinctively squat and start tinkling. The piddling sound continued for a good twenty seconds.


“Wow, I didn’t know I had to go this much,” said Kion. 


Kion was eventually finished with his bathroom break, and was about to hop back in the water when he realized that his butthole was still dirty. He would normally rub it on the ground underwater in the watering hole, but with how many animals were swimming (including Zuri and Tiifu), Kion realized that it would not be an option. He couldn’t reach down and wipe himself very well without drawing attention (he wasn’t very coordinated when it came to these things). He also couldn’t just go back with a dirty rump, as the girls would surely notice the smell. Bunga had already done enough for Kion that day, but the lion cub had one more favor to ask him.


“Hey, Bunga?” shouted Kion over to his friend.


The honey badger was finishing up his water-drinking challenge. “Yeah?” he responded, Zuri and Tiifu now listening in.


“This mouse is, uh, kinda hard to catch, and it, uh, ummmmm...can you come over here and help me,” said Kion, trying his best to give Bunga a legitimate excuse.


“Um...sure?” said Bunga, moving through the water to the shore and closer to the bushes where Kion was.


“Do you want us to help too, Kion?” asked Zuri.


“NO!” shouted Kion, now blushing, “I mean, no thanks, I think Bunga and I can take care of it. You two just wait in the water and pretty pretty please don’t come over here.”


“Ummm….alright?” responded Tiifu. The girls went back to their own conversation (probably about Kion) and Bunga made his way behind the bush where Kion was. He stepped forward to his friend and saw him sitting with a nervous smile on his face, but reared back quickly as he almost stepped in Kion’s business.


“Woah, Kion!” said Bunga, “watch where you poop!” The honey badger then caught a whiff of the pile of poop Kion made. “Phew,” he said, waving his claws past his nose, “and they call me the stinky one. That smells like rotten eggs!”


“Shh,” said Kion, blushing, “quiet, Bunga. I need your help with something.”


“What? Making this smell go away?” asked Bunga.


“Well, sorta…” said Kion.


“What do ya mean?” asked Bunga.


“Well, I accidentally pinched a log off early, so my butt’s kinda dirty…” admitted Kion.


“No way, Kion. I’m not wiping your royal heinie. Do it yourself,” declared Bunga.


“That’s the problem! Normally I clean it in the watering hole but someone is bound to see me doing it today. Look, it’ll just be this one time,” said Kion. “Please help me out here.”


Bunga thought for a few seconds. “Well...okay, fine. But just this once,” he said, “and you owe me.”


“Yes! Thank you so much, Bunga,” said Kion happily.


Bunga moved behind Kion and looked down at his rear end, which Kion was covering tightly with his tail.


“Kion, you need to lift your tail if you want me to clean you up back there,” said Bunga, sounding annoyed.


“Can you shut your eyes?” asked Kion sheepishly.


“How can I see where I’m wiping if my eyes are closed?” Bunga asked Kion.


“Good point...okay, but don’t laugh or anything,” said Kion.


The lion cub raised his rump up to Bunga’s eye level and lifted his tail up, presenting his nethers to the honey badger. His tailhole was covered with leftover poop and smelled just like what he had left below him.


“Blech,” said Bunga, recoiling and plugging his nose, “how could one hole end up being so stinky? Do you have a leaf nearby?”


“No, I couldn’t find any,” said Kion, “but you can pull a leaf or two from the bush…”


“Okay,” said Bunga, looking over to the bush, “wait, those leaves are too small!”


“What are you talking about?” said Kion, “they’re fine!”


“These leaves are smaller than your butthole, Kion,” said Bunga, “and with how dirty yours is, I don’t think I can clean up with these.”


“Well, they’re all we have right now, so please find a way to make them work,” said Kion, now blushing even more.


Bunga held the tiny leaf in his claws and approached Kion’s dirty tailhole. He slowly held the leaf up to it and just as it touched the layer of poop coating Kion’s hole, the lion cub farted in Bunga’s face.


“Aw, gross, Kion,” said Bunga backing away.


“Sorry, Bunga,” said Kion with a sheepish grin, “I can’t control my butt if someone goes and touches it like that.”


“Could you at least have given a warning?” aske Bunga.


“Well, now you know how it feels to be the one who’s farted on,” argued Kion.


“I guess,” said Bunga, “but it was still gross.”


“Look, can you try again? We’re running out of time before the girls stop talking and asking questions,” said Kion, “I promise I won’t fart this time.”


“If you say so,” said Bunga, reaching towards Kion’s hole with a leaf again. Using his claws to delicately maneuver it, Bunga scooped up some of the leftover lion droppings on Kion’s hind end. “Yuck, what did you eat, Kion?” Bunga joked. He plucked another leaf from the bush and approached Kion’s butthole again, but as he was wiping the poop off, his claw slipped into some of the leftover gunk near the center of his hole.


“Woah, Bunga,” said Kion, feeling the claw up against his really sensitive part, “what happened?”


“Aw, yuck! I got some on my claw!” shouted Bunga.


The girls heard this and giggled, but were confused.


“What’s going on over there, Kion?” asked Zuri.


“Nothing! Just still trying to catch this mouse!” yelled Kion nervously.


“What did Bunga get on his claw?” asked Tiifu.


“Oh, um....some mouse blood. Yeah! Really sticky stuff!” responded Bunga.


“Alrighty then,” Tiifu said, giggling to her friend.


“Look, I’m sorry you got my...on your claw, but I need you to finish quickly,” said Kion, “I think the girls are onto something.”


“Fine,” said Bunga, plucking one more leaf. The rest was easy to scrape up and eventually, Kion’s anus was clean as a whistle. “Oh boy, when Beshte and Ono hear about this…”


“Bunga, if you tell anyone about what happened here ever, I will roar you out of existence,” Kion threatened.


“Okay okay, sheesh. Wait...anyone?” asked Bunga, now blushing a little.


“Yes, anyone! Just keep your lips sealed,” said Kion.


The two friends hopped out of the bushes and back into the water with the lioness cubs. They had moved closer to the shore and now were about ten feet away from where Kion was.


“Aw man, sorry gals, looks like the mouse escaped before we could catch it,” said Kion.


“Oh really?” said Zuri.


“That mouse sure did smell strange,” added Tiifu.


“Yeah totally,” agreed Kion, not really listening, “wait, what?”


“Yeah it was almost like an antelope smell…” said Zuri.


“But it certainly smelled stinky,” said Tiifu, now giggling with Zuri.


“Wait a sec, what’s going on here?” asked Kion, who was now blushing. 


“Bunga was telling us about your potty routine,” said Zuri.


Kion shot a glare at Bunga, who was now the one smiling nervously.


“And he told us about how you didn’t get to go last night, so you had to go pretty bad while you were here, he he,” giggled Tiifu.


“Those noises you made while you were going were so cute!” said Zuri.


All this time that Kion thought Bunga was distracting the girls for him, he was just telling them what was really happening. Kion looked over to Bunga, who was already running as fast as he could away from Kion.


“BUUUUNNNGAAAA!!!” Yelled Kion, running after him. He was running from the shore when he tripped on a rock and fell headfirst into the bush. It would’ve just been a small hiccup, but Kion soon heard the girls giggling behind him. “it’s so cute...he he” “it looks way pinker than before”


The lion cub jumped out of the bush and faced the girls, who were still giggling. He gave them a sheepish smile, turned around with his tail between his legs, and ran off again.


Kion thought to himself: at least it was clean...