Part one


Never again
I vowed never again will this happen to me as I laid in the mud under the heavy rain, blood dripping from my nose and mouth. Beaten until bones cracked and I could no longer move. I had to get up, this was my chance i thought. 
I should start from the beginning. 
I'm Evelyn Williams. I was the daughter of the pack's bitch, the punching bag and the whore. The lowest of the low. Even lower than the pack slut which made no sense. Thought everything about this dumb pack made no sense. Why were the pack bitch? They claim it was because my mother cheated on her mate before he was killed by rogues, which according to the pack my mother let happen. 
By my mother’s words, her then mate had not been her choice, but her backward thinking aunt. She told me that wolf used to beat her, and hurt her, that it was he that sold her for a night to some stranger. And the day he was killed, he had been in the process of beating her half to death out in the woods while she had gone to pick berries, when a rogue came across them and saved her. The rogue stayed and had taken care of my mother before having to leave. He offered her a place by his side, to take her away from her pack but she declined, she never named the reason why.
When the pack found out what happened, they didn't believe her. Called her a whore and invented their own story of what had happened. There were many that said she should have been killed, or kicked out of the pack. Nothing was proven so she was allowed to live in the pack but as the pack’s bitch. And her unborn pup was to be the same. Branded before it was born, to serve like her mother one day on her 18th birthday. I think it would have been better if she was kicked out and turned rogue. Or better had taken the rogue’s offer and went with him.
  As it turned out, that rogue was apparently my father and I was the pup that was branded a bastard. To be the pack’s bitch and soon to be whore. For the supposed sins of my mother towards her previous mate. Of this pack that refuse to help one of their own. It never made sense why this pack had let my mother be treated so badly. They saw the bruises, they knew what a horrible man that wolf was. But they didn't care and so then we were treated like dirt... 
Called names, bullied and had our things destroyed and taken from us. The pack never looked after us, they didn't care for us. We would almost starve and freeze to death during the brutal winters, and summers were no better. Oftentimes almost dying from the heat and lack of water. I remember my mother having to cave to the mateless men of this pack just to get some food for us. They didn't allow her to take a normal job, they forced her into her role. It was sick. Even as a child, I knew that it wasn't right. To protect me, my mother would hide me in the woods in a den that she had built whenever the men came. She was afraid they would try something on me. With how some of them had watched and looked at me whenever we went out, I wouldn't put it past them to try something.
It was horrible, but I had my mother, and she did everything for me. She did everything to protect me, kept me fed anyway she could. She was a beautiful soul and person. Long brown hair, golden eyes and a wonderful smile. Her wolf was the same, I remember the night where she took me out and ran under the moonlight. No matter how hard life was, she always protected me. She taught me to fight, to hold my own, and to always stay strong. She would tell me that as soon as we were stronger, we would run away together. 
We tried once, it was when I turned 16 and shifted for the first time into my wolf. That night, we ran into the woods. She told me my father had been told once to follow the wolf’s tail, and a group of stars that would lay over the mountain in the west that looked like a wolf’s tail. We didn't even make it pass the borders of our own territory. The pack tracked us down and dragged us back and the alpha passed the judge. My mother was forced to wear a thick silver chain. It weakened her, she wasn’t able to shift. I was saved by this judgement, when my mother claimed it was all her plan and I refused at first to go with her. It wasn't true, I begged her to run, begged to leave. But she said it again to protect me.
 She died this past year. It hurt watching her waste away, the collar left ugly marks and wounds on her neck, towards the end she wasn't able to move at all. I pleaded with the alpha, i promised him anything to help my mother, to allow her to see a doctor. Something, anything. He refused me, over and over again. Told me, that's what she deserved. That it’ll happen to me if i didn't listen and do what I was told. How i hated him, how i wanted to rip his tongue out his mouth. I simply left and tended to my mother. I held her hand as she passed, then I buried her in that old den in the woods, she used to hide me in. I miss her so much. 
Since her passing, I was taking beatings more often, it was harder to get food. I was made to cook and clean after everyone in the pack house. I’m often kicked whenever I have to crawl on the floor to scrub the grease stains out or whatever mess they made. Sometimes, I was pinned to the wall and told how men would use me once I turned 18. They thankfully never made a move further than that. They just love toying with me. Even the females would be cruel to me. Often pulling my long braided hair. One time a group of girls had poured bleach into my hair. It ruined and burned me. I had to cut most of it off. I was also made to drop out of highschool after I had tried to run away with my mother. I was called stupid, worhtless, and ugly. 
I refused to let it get to me. I refuse to let it break me. My mother didn't raise no roll over bitch. I just girt and bare it. I had a plan after all. There was no way I was gonna stay here, and I would rather die than continue their game.
That was all the mountain pack was, a big fat game. No one took anything serious, no worked out, no one trained. It was usually a big party. They celebrated almost every weekend. Something, it didn't matter what. If there was a war, they would be in a bad spot. They didn't care, they thought because we live on a mountain, it would be harder for anyone to try and attack us. That they were safe from most packs, because at one point they were the biggest and baddest pack in the northern americas. Which they were the biggest slobs I'm sure. Baddest? Yes I mean they're all shit brains and just plain awful people. Well.. at least to me. 
Anyways, I was 17 years old, gonna be 18 in less than a day. Big age for many wolves, it's when we finally get to find our mates. Either our choice mate, second chance mate or our true mate. Everyone wants their true mate but things tend to happen and well no one ever wants to be alone. My wolf was sure excited about it. She thinks that once we find our mate, he will take care of us. Protect us, keep us safe and the pack would start treating us differently. I couldn't care less. For one reason, chances were the pack would bully him into rejecting me. Or flat out kill him. Not to mention, I didn't want a mate from this pack. I hated everyone, especially the Alpha and his family.         
The Alpha, Judo Black, was a cruel wolf. He once was a good looking and strong man. Now he seemed more like a drunken fat fool. He had greasy black mess of what he called hair, hazel eyes that were always rim red, he’d lost most of the muscle he had, beer gut now and was lazy.. He wasn’t fit to be Alpha. I don't understand how he was kept in power for so long. Someone should have challenged him already, but no one ever did. I guess he must have been well loved. I wonder what kind of man he was with the rest of the pack. Did the pack even know this side of him? Whenever I saw him, he was angry and shouting about something. And drunk. Very very drunk. He usually took his irrigation out on me, he’d yell and scream in my face, then if he was really angry, he would throw me against the walls, once through the door. When my mother was around, he sometimes kept her all night. When she would come home, she would be bruised, an eye swollen, bitten all over, clawed up. She never told me what exactly happened. Not that I couldn't guess. 
What did his Luna think of this? My mother was neither his choice mate or second chance mate (which only happens if you lost your true mate), how could she let her mate use another woman? I almost never saw the Luna. She was a small, quiet, mousy woman. Red hair, freckles all over, and large purple eyes. She never spoke out of turn or back to her husband. When I saw her, she was usually doting on her kids. She never could look me in the eye, much less in my direction. I must be an eye swore to her, I hated her for never doing anything, for letting it happen. When I was thrown through the door, I had all but landed at her feet. She simply stepped around me, never looked at me, and walked away as I was dragged back and beaten some more. I was 13 at the time. 
Their kids were no different. Their two youngest kids, Jacob and Alice were snobs, always they always had to have the latest things. Brand new cars, the best clothes, shoes. Whatever they wanted. They never looked at me either. Sometimes they would push me, or kick me whenever they could. Mock me for my old clothes that never fit me right. Or tell me I stink, that I should close my legs or whatever. They were brats. There was something off about them, I never could figure out what. Not that I spent too much time on them. They weren’t worth my thoughts and time.
Now the one that I hated most was the eldest and soon to be the next Alpha. Emmett Black. I don't know what his deal is honestly. He would watch his father abuse me and my mother. He would just stand there blank faced. Then he goats the younger pack members into using me as a punching bag, to take their frustrations on me. His father would be watching and look so proud of his son. Emmett was one of the males that would pin me up against a wall, and tell me how he can’t wait for me to turn 18 already, then tell me somes his ideas about what we could do. He usually did this when there was no one around. I couldn't tell if he was just doing it to disgust me or if he really thought that girls liked to be treated like that. Or just me. Sometimes he would feel me up, which disgusted me further. Stupid snobby rich soon to be Alpha Emmet Black. There were days where he was in a foul mood, and he was just looking for a fight or someone to beat up. I, of course, was the uaul target. Afterwards he would just stare at me, almost like he was seeing me for the first time, then he would get up and leave me where I laid to deal with the pain. 
He had everything he could want, wealth, family, friends, and even personal punching bags that couldn’t fight back. But I guess karma is a bitch, and that bitch is my friend because the only thing he is lacking is a mate and now at 20 soon to be 21, there were rumors starting about the Goddess leaving him mateless and how it was the end of his royal bloodline. Which is great, no more disgusting assholes. He'll take over the pack at 21, again soon, but without a mate that crown could be taken from him. You know how unstable these Alphas are without their other half. He can't seem to focus, he isn't aware of anything, too lost watching all the mateless females in the pack like the horny bastard he was.
        Not to mention that his father seemed pretty pissed about the fact that his eldest was mateless so far. They would argue a lot, yelling and almost roaring at each other. Everyone steer cleared from the packhouse thoses days. At one point his father had threatened to keep the Alpha possession, and wait until either Emmett or Jacob to take a mate. Emmett threatened him back by telling his father that he would take the Alpha position on his 21st birthday, one way or another. They would fight like that all day. It was ridiculous. Too much Alpha power emitted from the both of them that it chokes everyone else around them. But give it a day or so and they were sitting together, having a beer. His father made jokes about what they did the other day. I tried to stay away these days because Emmett was always in a foul mood afterwards for some reason. Guess he hated being teased.
 Oh how I would love to see that empire fall into chaos. And how it would be Emmet’s fault for never taking a mate, or forcing his father to submit. The look that would be on his face as it comes down, how his precious pack would dispruse. Sadly there is a way for him to change that, his choice mate. Not that he has taken one. And no one knows why. I like to think it because he has a tiny dick, that may shrink away further once it's been seen under a microscope. What? A girl gotta take a jab every now and again. Even if it was in my own head.
As much as I want to see all this chaos, I had planned to be long gone before then. He was taking over the pack at 21, which was less than a few hours from now, and I plan on leaving when I turn 18, also a few hours from now. It sucks that we share a birthday. But it'll be the perfect time to make a run for it. I plan on cutting my ties to my pack during the transition and turning rogue with hope of finding my true home somewhere else. Or die trying. I might die if I stay here so it's not a big risk.
Everyone would be too busy breaking their bond to the current Alpha Judo and transferring it to the new one, Emmett, to notice me cutting my ties and just running. Besides the fact I'm not actually allowed to attend the transition, which worked in my favor. I am to stay home and accept my new role as pack whore that night. To accept whoever comes to me that night after the transition, and let them do what they want to me. Fuck them. Fuck him. I know who they want me for, and it's just to keep his mind clear until he could find his true mate. Well I refuse to whore myself to Emmett, just so he keeps himself in control. I don't plan on being his plaything until he either finds one of his mates or whatever. Just the thought of him using me that way makes me wanna barf. Why couldn't he use any of the other girls that are dying to be used by him? 
Though, if it was up to my wolf, she’d use him. He was handsome enough and to her taste. I suppose she was right, he was tall, muscular, jet black hair, jade colored eyes, tan skin. Oh yes, it was easy to understand why she wanted him, why any girl would want him. But me. Even to use him wasn’t worth sticking around here. Yes i could use the alpha as protection, ask him to make his choice mate. Convince him I wanted him and only him. To be his personal whore, hell if I played it right and convinced him, I could be Luna. what a power trip that would be, maybe even get back at everyone that abused me. It just meant I had to accept Emmett as my mate.  Fuck that.
I'm not staying, I already have my path set, bags packed and hidden in the woods. All I had to do was wait until everyone started breaking the ties. It's 10PM now.... two more hours. Two more hours of this hell hole. I had done all the cleaning for the day, helped with the feast after the transition, a feast I wouldn't be attending. I made sure to over salt any and all dishes I got my hands on. It was the last small thing that I could do to ruin their night. Then I was dismissed, so everyone else could get ready. 
With nothing else to do I walked to the small cabin that I had shared with my mother. It wasn’t very big, it had only three rooms but one leaked so we never really used it. It was empty save for two beds and a table and one chair. There was nothing else. Yet it was my whole world. I was never allowed to go anywhere, but here, the pack house, school when I attended, and the little bit of woods they let our wolves walk around in. We had a hot plate to cook our meals, but someone trashed one day while we were out. We never were able to replace it. Had to cook on the fire pit out back, where our one pot and spoon was. There was mold growing all around, smelled of rotten wood, stale bodies, and faint traces of blood. Moss grew where it can, there were even some mushrooms growing in the room that leaked. 
 I gently touched the door frame of our room, at the marking of my height as I grew. I sigh heavily. Memories had flooded my mind. Me standing here as my mother marked how much taller I had gotten since last year. It was always on my birthdays, she would have a small cupcake just for me afterwards.
“Congratulations my love, you are a whole year taller, wiser, and older... make a wish” I could hear her say. I smile with a tear rolling down my face.
 I looked at the chair, where she would sit me down, and brush out my very long hair, then she would braid it. Once she had been able to get these cute little butterfly clips for my hair. I was so happy. It was one of the very few things she was able to get me. Not that I'm complaining, I love them, I still had them, packed carefully away in one of my bags hidden in the woods. Walking into our bedroom, we always used one of the mattresses to sleep on, the other was used for when men showed up. I remember once she had gotten hold of a flashlight and told me stories using shadow puppets. I remember giggling at her own version of a little red riding hood. Little red was a male, who had tried tricking the fabulous she wolf. She tried so hard to give me little joys. I felt my eyes sting more, but refused to let any more tears fall. She wouldn't want me to cry.
My heart was aching. I missed her so much. She didn't deserve the life she was given. How I wished we could be together, how I wished our lives were different. It wasn't fair, she was so lovely, and such a caring person, sure she was mischievous too. She tried to find the fun in anything. You can see it in her eyes and give you a smile before doing something out of the blue. She was a free spirit. I hurt so much thinking of her last days. How different she was, blank face, and so broken. I held onto the crystal pendant hanging around my neck as I walked back into the leaky room. It was hers. That only thing of value. She claimed, was from my father.         
I sighed with longing, I had always wanted to know my father and prayed he wasn't dead somewhere in the ditch. What if he was out there and didn't even know about me? Probably didn’t. What would life have been like had my mother gone with him, wherever he went? Rogues were considered dangerous, but would we have been able to have a happier life than the one I have? I used to dream of all three of us out in the wild. Holding both my father’s hand and my mother’s as we watch the moon above us. We would be smiling, happy.
I sighed again then I heard banging on the front door that sent it crashing to the floor. It had been broken for years so I wasn't surprised that it fell. Just annoyed that someone dared come here, I had a feeling I knew who. I turned to look at the comers.
Soon to be Alpha Emmett and his soon to be ranked wolves I'm sure. I suppressed a growl and bared my neck to him. Only because I have to, and I don't want to be beaten tonight. I need my strength to run from these bastards. He smirks and looks me up and down. The others circled me, with stupid grins on their faces. I swear I saw one of them lick his lips. Monster. I didn’t bother looking at them and focused on soon to be Alpha Emmett. Stupid twilight name. Adding his younger sibling names were Alice and Jacob, I swear his mother must have been a fan in her younger days. I bet good money on it.
I watched as his eye went over me again, I felt sick.
I knew that he was waiting until I turned 18 to make me the official whore. Without his Luna, he sex drive must be driving him crazy. And who better to please him. Gag. 
"Why are you looking like you're going somewhere? Shouldn't you be wearing something more... sexy?" His rough voice rolls over me. There was a twitch just under his eye as he casually stepped towards me. What was that about?
I looked down at myself, I had gotten dressed in combat boots, thick black pants, and black tank top and a black jacket. Easier to blend with the shadows that way. I look at him and shrug. Did I mention I don't talk? Not that i'm a mute or anything but i don't want to talk to these asses.
He growls and narrows his eyes at me, "Listen sweetheart... I’ma make good use of you and you are gonna play your new role tonight after the transition. You should be flattered, I could use any bitch in the pack but decided to use you... Just wait until you hear what I have planned for you."
I raise an eyebrow at that. Why does he want me if all I am to him is a waste of space? I don't get it. All the unmated and some mated females would throw themselves for a piece of him. He had his picks, so why me? Besides that, he is gonna be an Alpha. He would need someone that would submit to him, and do whatever he says. I will fight him tooth and nail. Even if I wasn't the pack’s bitch, I refuse to submit to anyone. If my mate ever wanted me to, well he's gonna have to fight me anyways.
He rakes his eyes over me once more, his eyes stopping on certain spots on my body. I know what he saw, skinny, hollowed face, but had an ass and a chest, long dark almost black brown hair that falls in waves over my back that reaches to my waist. Deep brown eyes that appear red a lot of the time, the demon in me, my mother used to tell me, and tanned toned skin. I wasn't bad looking, even starved as I was. If I eat right, I would fill out, probably be cuvier and be pretty damn hot. Others have tried to tell me how ugly I was, I knew I really wasn’t. Though I'm sure that's not why he wants me. There were prettier girls afterall. And I was, after all, the pack bitch still. I'm a walking punching bag. One he used quite often. And soon a cum rag for the pack. 
He took a step closer and took a deep breath and smiled again. He snaps his finger and one of his cronies hands him a bag, which he holds out to me. “A gift... thought I should make sure you were ready for me tonight...”
I narrow my eyes at him, and slowly take the bag from him and look inside of it. Oh the asshole. It was lingerie. A pile of pretty ribbon I refused to touch. I felt the anger building inside me. How badly I wish I could release it on him and his cronies.i wasn’t one of the gifted ones... bummer.  I felt my face burn, no doubt he thought it was from embarrassment. How I wanted to yell, scream, hit ,punch... I was so close to erupting, how I wanted to at least take one swing at him before leaving.... I couldn’t, not tonight, I had to be able to run like hell... breath in, breath out. Calm. It won't matter soon.
“ I want you to go to the pack house, get cleaned up and put this on. And wait for me in your new room, the third floor, second on the right. If I am to have you, I don't want to be doing it... here in this disgusting hole you call home.” he moved closer to me. And whispered to me so quietly that I'm sure no one else had heard “You’ll be only mine... i will not let anyone else touch you... And I take care of what’s mine... I’ll be able to treat you right... my father won't be able to stand between us after tonight... he’ll be gone... and i can tell you everything you didn’t know and why it had been this way....” What was he talking about? He probably was drunk and thought I was someone else. Had to be. His words meant nothing to me that's for sure. His eyes were pitch black, his wolf very close to taking control. He also seemed to be wound up, tense, I felt like he might start throwing punches soon. “ I’ll make you my mate... my Luna if you want....You’d like that wont you?” I hate being teased. He wouldn’t make me Luna. My anger slipped.
I growl at him, baring my teeth at him, letting my wolf out just for a second, next thing I know I'm slammed into the ground and soon the punches come from all of them but him surprisingly. There were five and I couldn't fight them all off. They drag me outside and rip at my clothes. They yell at me, how dare I bare my teeth at the Alpha. Pull my hair. Kick punch and laugh at my pain. They don't care that I broke some ribs, broke my jaw. Open eyes are swollen shut now. Goddess I hate them all.
After tonight never again.
"Come on Emmett we gotta go... it's almost midnight, your father will be waiting... you can take care of her later..." one guy says. Emmett was just standing back and watching me get beat up. There was a strange look that almost looked to be remorse, but then it wasn't there. I couldn't really see well, so I may have dreamed it.
"One second....." Emmett rumbles and I feel a sharp pain as someone, him, pulls me up by my hair and looks me in the eyes. "Clean up.... You’ll be healed enough for tonight. I will be coming for you tonight... and you will submit to me." He lets go and I fall onto the ground, my bones broken, I couldn't move. “Let this be a reminder what will happen if you refuse me...” he walked away with his buddies. Leaving me in the mud and in my own blood. Rage fills me. It builds inside, almost if I let it out, it’d burn everything to the ground. If only I could. I lay there for a long time.
Never again. I refuse this life and pull myself up from the ground after some of my bones healed and look up to the cloudy sky and growl in pain and anger.
" Goddess... I leave tonight from this hell hole and never look back... may the day come and they realize their sins to their own kind... or krama punish them for what they have done to me and mine... your creations!” The goddess must have heard me as moonlight peeked out of the rain clouds and found me. I grin, feeling my bones mend and feeling stronger.  It gave me more strength to stand finally. 
I started to feel the pack’s ties breaking from Alpha Judo. "... I break these bonds and ties and become rouge til I find a better home. Give me strength to run and never come back!” I felt the bond snap, I was free from this pack, smiling, I started to run. Not giving a damn about my ripped up clothes, I grabbed my packed bags from their hiding spot, sling them onto my back and shifted to my wolf form, never slowing down and just kept on running. Never looking back.
And I don't ever look back for three years.