The day could not pass quickly enough for Tavros. His mind wandered far from his body as he went through the menial motions of his daily tasks. At one point (around 3:30, Tavros knew, due to the fact he compulsively scanned the clock on the opposite wall throughout the day), Rufioh asked him, “You okay, bro? You’ve been off in la-la land all day.”

“Oh! O-oh, yeah, I’m good. I’m going to hang out with a friend tonight, I guess I’m distracted,” The younger brother replied sheepishly.

Rufioh grinned, “Don’t tell me; the scrawny pale kid with the crazy hair who’s been here the past few days?”

Tavros looked mortified, “U-um, y-yeah, h-how’d you k-know?”

His brother shrugged his thick shoulders, and turned and walked away, saying, “Just a guess. Have fun, little brother.”

It was 6:05 when Tavros walked out of the building with his brother. Gamzee’s car was already there, idling in a front-row spot. The pale youth opened the driver’s door and clambered out as the latino pair came outside. “Yo! Tav!” 

The hulk grinned and waved. “You ready to motherfuckin’ go?” Gamzee asked.

Rufioh nudged his brother, “Tavros, where’s your gym bag?” 

The muscled giant gasped softly, “Oh no! I’ll be r-right back!!” He turned on his heel and ran headlong back into the building embarrassedly. Gamzee couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the display. Rufioh turned at looked at the wild-haired boy, his look almost appraising. 

“How’re you doing man?” He asked casually.

“Motherfukin’ alright, I guess,” Gamzee shrugged.

Rufioh chuckled, then was quiet for a moment, and said, “You know my brother’s totally head over heels for you, don’t you?”

Gamzee’s face grew hot, and his stomach gave a performance not unlike what he felt in the showers the other day. “I…. I um don’t have a motherfucking clue what you’re talking about.” 

Rufioh chuckled again, “You must be pretty dense, then. I blame the dope. He was smitten with you the moment he met you.” 

“No motherfucking way. That just cannot be true.”

“Ha. Believe what  you want. I hope you two have a good time.” With that the muscular man crossed the parking lot to his beaten up red truck, waving goodbye as he climbed in. A moment later, Tavros rushed out the door, bag in tow, and breathing heavy.

“S-sorry about that!!” He apologized, as he forced his body into the passenger seat of Gamzee’s car. It was a tight fit, his knees were forced up at a slightly awkward angle to allow his legs room, and the top of his head pressed ever so slightly on the ceiling, causing Tavros to have to bend to fit comfortably. 

“It’s totally cool, don’t motherfuckin worry about it,” Gamzee said, waving it off, “Now, let’s get going.”

	Tavros was amazed by the sight of the house in front of him. At his feet, a massive expanse of lawn stretched out, bright green and recently mowed in military-file columns. The sprawling yard was bisected by a paved sidewalk that lead up to the front door, a monolith of wrought iron and frosted glass. The house was built of black and grey bricks, and the façade was punctuated with wide towering windows, the view inside blocked by violet drapes.

	“You.... live here?” The huge youth's voice was incredulous.

	Gamzee seemed taken aback, “Yeah, bro, çourse I do. Whaddya mean?”

	“It's huge!”

	Gamzee laughed, slightly awkwardly. “Well, 'snot like I built the motherfuckin' thing, blame my parents.”

	The pair walked up the sidewalk towards the monstrosity. “What are you talking about? It's really, uh, cool?” 

	Gamzee scratched the back of his head, “Oh, haha. Well honestly it's kind of embarrassing. It's so, I dunno, motherfuckin' oversized and excessive and gaudy. We're a family of three, for chrissake, I dunno why my old man thought this big motherfuckin house was necessary.”

	As the two stepped onto the porch, Gamzee fished his keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the towering front door. The heavy door swung open, and the pair walked through into Gamzee's home. Tavros was impressed by the door frame's height and width; unlike his own front door, this one was an 8-footer, meaning he could walk through it without having to duck his head and he could even walk through without having to awkwardly squeeze or sidle his way through as he was used to due to his insane musculature.

	The inside of the house- mansion, really- was dim. It actually took Tavros' eyes a few seconds to adjust to the sudden change in lighting. The foyer was, like the entire house, enormous. The floor was a dark hardwood, the lacquer polished to a mirror-like sheen, and it gleamed brightly where the light streaming in from the door and windows hit it. Above Tavros' head hung a massive chandelier, which cast soft, hazy light over the deep-purple walls, whose color only emphasized the darkness of the room.

	“Yo!” Gamzee shouted into the house as Tavros gently shut the front door behind them, causing the already low lighting to grow even dimmer. “Mom! I’m home, and I brought a friend!” There was no reply. Cupping his hands around his mouth, Gamzee called louder, “MOOOOOOM!”

“JESUS H CHRIST, Gamzee!!! I’m coming!!” A voice echoed from beyond the doors at the end of the foyer. A second later a tall woman strode into the room, her impressive heels clacking hollowly on the hardwood floor. She wore an elegant and extremely expensive looking purple dress, and as she strode into the room her hands were at her left ear, affixing a huge, baroque earring. “I’m sorry, honey, but I’ve told you not to shout so loud inside. Now, who’s this friend you-” She stopped. As she finished attaching the jewelry, her eyes for the first time met her son and his new friend. Her mouth hung slightly open, her words stuck in her throat. 

The man standing beside her son was nothing short of a giant. Her eyes darted up and down his monstrous frame, gliding over his pumpkin-sized pecs, and bulging cobblestone abs. His arms were so thick and huge that even relaxed they were forced out by the size of his biceps and lats. And holy shit, that bulge! She couldn’t believe her eyes; she didn’t believe a man’s cock could be as big as this one’s was entirely soft and jammed into jeans so tight they looked painted on over the giant bubble bulge of his junk.

Mrs. Makara swallowed and smoothed out her dress. The two boys meanwhile simply watched her, Tavros confused, and Gamzee frustrated (he knew what was happening and was less than okay with it). “Well, hello there young man.” She strode the last couple of feet separating the three. She extended one long, thin arm, “My name is Themis Makara, It is so good to meet you. And what might your name be?”

Tavros reached forward, his massive paw entirely enclosing the woman’s hand, and shook gently. “My name’s Tavros Nitram, ma’am.” 

The older woman’s eyes were trained on Tavros’s bulge as she removed her hand from his. Gamzee rolled his eyes and interrupted, “So what are you all gussied up for, Mom?”

Themis snapped back to attention, her gaze drifting to her son. “Oh! Well Eris is throwing a party tonight, so of course I can’t miss a chance to show that snotty bitch up.” She tittered raucously.  She looked at her watch. “Oh my, speaking of which, I’m going to be late.”

She leaned forward and kissed her son on the cheek, causing him to recoil in exagerrated disgust. Then she turned to Tavros and smiled, eyes subconsciously darting once more to appreciate his body, “It was lovely meeting you.”

She strode away from the boys, and called from the other room as she left, “I’ll leave you boys some money for pizza or whatever. See you!”

A few seconds later the door to the garage slammed shut. “Come on, dude,” Gamzee said, beckoning Tavros on as he walked through the foyer, “Let’s see what she left.” Tavros followed, appreciating the gaudy absurdity of the McMansion. 

After walking from the foyer to a ridiculously well-furnished living room (complete with 64” television) and then into the kitchen, Gamzee picked up a small stack of bills. He flipped through them, counting. “1, 2, 3, 4 20’s. Hahaha, 420.” 
Tavros was aghast, “Your mom left you $80 for pizza??”

Gamzee shrugged, “Tav, my mom doesn’t know the difference between 3 bucks and 300 bucks.” He smiled, “Plus, don’t complain; I’ll let you keep the change.”

By the time the pizza came about 40 minutes later, the pair had ended up in an upstairs room (which Gamzee dubbed the “game room”), sitting side by side on a plush couch, playing Super Smash Brother Melêé. They ate the pizza ravenously, not even halting their game as they tried to play one-handed. Finally Tavros conceded, and paused the fight, freeze-framing on Young Link spiraling through the air to his doom. By the time the pair finished stuffing their faces, Gamzee had eaten 5 slices, and Tavros even had devoured an entire large pie himself.

Gamzee turned to Tavros

“Wanna smoke?”