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Is it too much to request for? I just want some security in my life that I'm not slowly overworking myself to death. It sucks to always worry, man! Every day I feel like I have a freaking arrow askew through my breast up to the shoulder blade. Honestly, I would prefer if the arrow was actually stuck there because at least I would know why does it have to sting a lot!!!\n\nIt is messing with my head and since 23rd October 2020 I have led a hollow, tedious and just filling my days lifestyle. I rewatched some of my most favourite videos on Youtube and linger on them all and all and all over again, not moving forward much. FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I WANT TO FORGET EVERYTHING AND START ALL OVER! WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME ME AND I WANT TO IMPROVE AND SUPPORT, CRIPPLE MYSELF WITH A HAMMER AND PATCH EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY I WRONGED IN THAT SCRATCHED STATE!!! It sure sounds terrible but I am absolutely certain that I'll do a better job than I've achieved in these 2 slow frigging years...\n\nIf only I wasn't in the near-death territory, I would have done so much for the outside of my house... Right now, I'm probably going to take a break from posting and actively living in the virtual world. I'm just really confused. I was asked to look after some plants while my family is away on vacation, so I'm gonna lose myself in gardening. Definitely need to treat my blood-red eyes, a couple of therapy sessions in the garden should recover something.\n\nHave a wonderful day and be well :-)\n\n(And yeah, there is a couple of references in this text from GTA V, I'm so laaame... and some in the illustration but nobody will get those references, unless you're me xD)","description_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Is being normal so bad? Is it too much to request for? I just want some security in my life that I&#039;m not slowly overworking myself to death. It sucks to always worry, man! Every day I feel like I have a freaking arrow askew through my breast up to the shoulder blade. Honestly, I would prefer if the arrow was actually stuck there because at least I would know why does it have to sting a lot!!!<br /><br />It is messing with my head and since 23rd October 2020 I have led a hollow, tedious and just filling my days lifestyle. I rewatched some of my most favourite videos on Youtube and linger on them all and all and all over again, not moving forward much. FOR FUCK&#039;S SAKE, I WANT TO FORGET EVERYTHING AND START ALL OVER! WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME ME AND I WANT TO IMPROVE AND SUPPORT, CRIPPLE MYSELF WITH A HAMMER AND PATCH EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY I WRONGED IN THAT SCRATCHED STATE!!! It sure sounds terrible but I am absolutely certain that I&#039;ll do a better job than I&#039;ve achieved in these 2 slow frigging years...<br /><br />If only I wasn&#039;t in the near-death territory, I would have done so much for the outside of my house... Right now, I&#039;m probably going to take a break from posting and actively living in the virtual world. I&#039;m just really confused. I was asked to look after some plants while my family is away on vacation, so I&#039;m gonna lose myself in gardening. Definitely need to treat my blood-red eyes, a couple of therapy sessions in the garden should recover something.<br /><br />Have a wonderful day and be well :-)<br /><br />(And yeah, there is a couple of references in this text from GTA V, I&#039;m so laaame... and some in the illustration but nobody will get those references, unless you&#039;re me xD)</span>","writing":"","writing_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'></span>","pools_count":0,"title":"2 Years Later, Still Fucked Up","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"image/png","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"1","rating_name":"Mature","ratings":[{"content_tag_id":"3","name":"Violence","description":"Mild violence","rating_id":"1"}],"submission_type_id":"1","type_name":"Picture/Pinup","guest_block":"f","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"0","views":"2"}