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  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>redchibi has to go back to neurologist today...so mades this so tries to cope with redchibi scares...hopes can get at least a few hours of sleeps before has to go...;&#039;c<br /><br />fears and phobias are not things only children can suffer from, some things your can learn to not be so afraid of with age, but some things you can&#039;t not be so afraid of.<br /><br />I am deathly afraid of needles (even though i&#039;m 21... ;c), the mention of one can make me panic, seeing one can send me into a fight or flight mode, I&#039;ll scream, I&#039;ll cry, i&#039;ll try to run or to hide, i&#039;ve tried to lunge at or even attack people just so I could get away.<br /><br />i&#039;ve even contemplated shattering a window just to try jump out and get outside (this was at least one floor up) i&#039;ve had to be held down or even sedated for a shot. <br /><br />A simple shot. <br /><br />redchibi nu wants to be afraid, but she is, and the fear is very real, i&#039;ve had people tell me things like &#039;grow up&#039; or &#039;you&#039;re overreacting&#039; because of this fear, so not only am I terrified but now i&#039;m feeling guilty, and hating myself even more for not being able to do what a lot of people, adults and kids alike, think is no big deal...<br /><br />it hurts, it hurts a lot...I can&#039;t control the fact i&#039;m so afraid, and to get mocked or even laughed at? or even cry because of how awful they&#039;re making me feel as if I&#039;m choosing to be afraid?<br /><br />don&#039;t make fun of peoples fears, it&#039;s hard enough having to cope with them, being forced tears because people can&#039;t understand that makes them feel worse...</span>",
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