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"https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/3566/3566645_RedTales_too-hard-to-sleep.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/3566/3566645_RedTales_too-hard-to-sleep.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/3566/3566645_RedTales_too-hard-to-sleep.jpg", "submission_right_thumb_huge_x": "300", "submission_right_thumb_huge_y": "300", "submission_right_thumb_large_x": "200", "submission_right_thumb_large_y": "200", "submission_right_thumb_medium_x": "120", "submission_right_thumb_medium_y": "120" } ], "description": "When I first came up with this story, it involved my original characters instead of the Watterson family. However, I got into Gumball pretty early after its premiere and back then I thought it would be fun to adapt the story as a fanfic. Like my other stories, I kept it in my head for years and never wrote it down until now. I'm not as heavily into Gumball as a cartoon any more, but I still think the little blue cat boy is cute.\n\n---\n\nOriginally, the story involved Nick (age 10 at the time) getting caught in the same situation. Everything mostly played out the same way, but with less jokeyness overall, especially the ending. Instead the story ended with Nick's mom being relieved, but also realizing that he's not getting any younger and he'll probably start doing that kind of stuff soon. This lead to Nick and Jake getting their own bedroom separate from their sisters. But I did some retconning before I started writing my stories out, and now Nick would already have his own bedroom before Melissa was adopted, so the aftermath of the story wouldn't make much sense any more.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "When I first came up with this story, it involved my original characters instead of the Watterson family. However, I got into Gumball pretty early after its premiere and back then I thought it would be fun to adapt the story as a fanfic. Like my other stories, I kept it in my head for years and never wrote it down until now. I'm not as heavily into Gumball as a cartoon any more, but I still think the little blue cat boy is cute.

---

Originally, the story involved Nick (age 10 at the time) getting caught in the same situation. Everything mostly played out the same way, but with less jokeyness overall, especially the ending. Instead the story ended with Nick's mom being relieved, but also realizing that he's not getting any younger and he'll probably start doing that kind of stuff soon. This lead to Nick and Jake getting their own bedroom separate from their sisters. But I did some retconning before I started writing my stories out, and now Nick would already have his own bedroom before Melissa was adopted, so the aftermath of the story wouldn't make much sense any more.", "writing": "\"Ah, there! That's the last of it.\" Nicole said after she finished folding all of the laundry. Wiping her forehead, she took a look at the overflowing clothes basket, \"I don't know how a family of five ends up with so much laundry, especially since Darwin doesn't even wear clothes...\" She picked it up and walked around the house to put everything away. But when she finally approached the boys' room, she heard some strange noises coming from inside. Short grunts, moaning, and panting... was something wrong? \"Gumball?\" she called through the door as she turned the knob and let herself in. \"Is everything okay in he-\"\n\nBut she froze when she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, pants around his ankles, and a hand wrapped around his privates. After turning his head, his pupils shrunk. \"AAH! MOM!\" he screamed, freaking out as he tugged his shirt down over his crotch. \"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?\"\n\nShe panicked and dropped the clothes basket, \"S-Sorry!\" She tried to turn around and leave, but slammed face first into the door frame before correcting herself, running out, and pulling the door shut behind her.\n\n\"Can't I get some privacy in my own room!?\" she heard him yell. \"Knock next time!\"\n\n\"Sorry!\" Nicole leaned against the door, panting and trying to process what she just saw. \"Was he just- No, he couldn't be! He's not old enough to do that yet... is he?\"\n\nShe headed back downstairs, sat down on the couch, and thought more about what just happened. \"Could my Gummypuss really be doing something so... adult? I mean, he's always been my sweet little baby! Little boys aren't supposed to play with themselves like that! That's for lonely teenagers and losers!\" She didn't want to believe it, she just wanted him to be her little baby forever. \"Then again, he is getting older... I suppose he's at that age...\"\n\nAround that time, she heard a door open upstairs. Peeking up the stairs, she saw him heading to the bathroom, carrying some kind of toothpaste tube. Once he went in and closed the door, she headed back up and took a look around his room. As she entered, the first thing she noticed was a strange odor in the air. It wasn't unusual for Gumball's room to stink given how rarely he cleans it, but this was a different, funky kind of scent. She walked over to his bed and looked around where he was sitting earlier. There was a long white streak running down the blanket, one that she had never noticed before. It looked like it was freshly made, still wet to the touch and also giving off the same funky smell that was permeating the rest of the room. She looked over in the trash can next to the bed, only to see two crumpled up tissues wads sitting at the bottom. It felt a little gross to check them, but she needed to know. Picking up one of them, she slowly started to open it.\n\n\"Mom?\" Gumball had suddenly appeared behind her.\n\n\"Ah!\" Nicole tensed up and quickly slammed the tissue back in the trash, then turned around to face him. \"Gumball! Uh, hi sweetie!\"\n\n\"What are you doing?\"\n\n\"Uh, well, uh...\" Scanning the room for an excuse, she finally noticed the clothes basket she dropped earlier. \"I just came back and get the clothes basket, that's all!\"\n\n\"Uhh, okay?\" Gumball raised an eyebrow at his mom's odd behavior.\n\nShe grabbed the basket and bolted out the door, desperately wanting to avoid any more awkward confrontations with her son. But there was one last thing she was still wondering about: what was he carrying with him back to the bathroom? She sat the basket on the floor and walked down the hall to check things out. The medicine cabinet seemed like the obvious place to look. There was toothpaste, rash cream, and... lube. Her heart sank now that everything was adding up. It was looking more and more like her little Gummypuss wasn't so little any more.\n\nShe hurried downstairs to the kitchen, where her husband was rummaging through the refrigerator. \"Richard, we need to talk about Gumball. I think he's been... um... 'choking on the chicken,' if you know what I mean.\"\n\n\"Oh, I've had that problem before.\" he replied as he continued searching the fridge. \"I know it's hard to slow down, but he just needs to chew more before he swallows.\"\n\n\"No, I mean he's... you know...\" she hesitated, then whispered, \"...masturbating.\"\n\nHe closed the door and stood back up, munching on a chunk of meat. \"Well what do you want me to do about it?\"\n\n\"Well, you're his father; I think it's about time you give him 'the talk'. You know, teach him about the birds and the bees, that sort of stuff.\"\n\nAfter swallowing his food, he whined, \"Awww, it's gonna be so weird though!\"\n\n\"I know, but if we don't teach him, someone else will. And I don't want Gumball learning about sex from a bunch of perverts on the internet.\" \n\n\"Can't I just give him a tub of Crisco and let him figure it out himself? That's what my parents did, and I turned out fine!\"\n\n\"Please honey, this is important.\" She paused, then muttered, \"And that really explains a lot...\"\n\nRichard took a deep breath, \"Alright Nicole, if that's what our boy needs, I'll do it!\"\n\n\"Aww, thanks sweetie.\" She smiled and gave him a hug, \"I really appreciate it.\"\n\nRichard marched out of the kitchen and headed upstairs to Gumball's room. He stopped outside of the door, making sure to knock. \"Gumball, can I come in?\"\n\n\"Yeah, come in!\" Gumball was sitting at the computer, but he turned the chair around to face his dad as he entered. \"Hey dad, what's up?\"\n\n\"Uhh...\" he was beginning to get nervous, \"Your mother wanted me to talk to you about something...\"\n\n\"About what?\"\n\n\"Well, uh... You see Gumball, when a boy your age gets to be about... uh... your age... well, there are birds, and there's also bees, and... to be honest I'm not sure what birds or bees have to do with any of this.\"\n\n\"Uhh... dad? What are you talking about?\"\n\nRichard sighed, \"Look, son, your mom told me about what you were doing earlier. And I just want you to know, you don't need to be ashamed of it. Lots of guys do it. Heck, even I did it before I met your mother.\"\n\n\"Huh? Lots of guys put rash cream on their inner thighs?\"\n\n\"Wait, what? Rash cream?\"\n\n...\n\nEarlier that day, Gumball and Darwin were walking down the sidewalk on their way home from the park.\n\n\"Boy that was a fun day at the park!\" Darwin cheered as he skipped along the sidewalk on his way home. \"Wouldn't you agree, Gumball?\"\n\nBut Gumball was slowly limping along behind him. \"Fun? FUN!? First, I almost got stepped on by a fourty-foot tall giant! Then I got chased around the park and almost eaten by a t-rex! Then half of the playground got blown up by lasers and rockets! And as if all of that wasn't bad enough, somehow I got sand in my pants!\" He shook his leg, causing a stream of sand to pour out of his leg hole and make a small hill on the sidewalk. \"I think it's giving me a rash, dude.\"\n\n\"Huh, I wonder why that didn't happen to me?\" Darwin asked.\n\nGumball folded his arms, \"Probably because you don't wear pants.\"\n\nDarwin looked down at his legs, \"Oh yeah. I forgot!\" He quickly cheered up and continued skipping home. Gumball sighed, then continued limping after him.\n\nIt wasn't much longer until the two of them made it home. Gumball immediately headed upstairs to the bathroom and looked through the medicine cabinet. \"Let's see... Toothpaste, lubricant... Ah! Rash cream!\" He grabbed the tube and took it with him back to his room, closing the door behind him. After dropping his pants and underwear, he sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to squirt some cream into his hand. However, nothing was coming out. He took a look inside the nozzle and noticed it was clogged by a dried up bit. Picking at it with his finger, he eventually got the opening cleared, sending a string of cream shooting out the tip. It flew through the air and landed on his sheets, leaving a long white mark running down the length of his bed. He grabbed a few tissues and started wiping it up, but he couldn't help but scrunch his nose at the smell. \"Ugh, this junk reeks!\"\n\nWith the bed cleaned up, Gumball could finally focus on treating his rash. After squirting some cream into his hand, he reached between his legs and started rubbing it in. \"Ooh!\" His face contorted into an agonizing expression. \"Agh!\" The sting of the cream against his rash was hard to endure. \"Oww that burns!\" Tears were welling up in his eyes. He bit his lips and tried to bear the pain, but he couldn't stop himself from grunting and moaning as he continued rubbing.\n\n\"Gumball?\" he heard his mom's voice call from outside. But before he could even respond, the door was already opening. \"Is everything okay in he-\"\n\nHe looked up and saw her standing in the doorway, looking directly back at him while his pants were still down. \"AAH! MOM!\" he screamed as he tugged his shirt down over his crotch. \"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?\"\n\n...\n\n\"...Oh. So that's what happened?\" Richard reacted after hearing the events from his son's point of view. \"You weren't... uhh... spanking the monkey?\"\n\n\"Spanking the monkey?\" The only thing Gumball could picture was slapping Ms. Simian's big red baboon butt. The mere thought was causing him to wretch. \"Eww dad! Why would I want to do that!?\"\n\n\"Uhh... Nevermind! Good talk, son!\"\n\nRichard turned around and left the room before his son could ask any more questions. Right after closing the door, he bumped into Nicole in the hallway.\n\n\"Well? How did it go?\"\n\n\"Didn't have it.\" He cheerfully replied. \"Turns out he was just putting on rash cream. So I'm off the hook now, right?\"\n\n\"Rash cream? Wait, Richard-\"\n\nBut he was already walking away, \"Thanks, love you!\"\n\nWhile she sighed at her husband, she still felt some relief. \"Well, at least I rest easy knowing that Gumball is still my baby, at least for a little while longer. I hope he doesn't grow up too fast.\" Looking down at the floor, she noticed the clothes basket. \"Oh, I almost forgot to bring him his clean clothes.\"\n\nAfter picking it up, she opened the door and went back into his room. But the first thing that caught her eyes were the many pictures of nude catgirls that were scattered around the computer screen. And sitting at the computer was her son, with his pants around his ankles.\n\nTurning his head, his eyes got wide once again. \"AAH! MOM!\"\n\nTHE END", "writing_bbcode_parsed": ""Ah, there! That's the last of it." Nicole said after she finished folding all of the laundry. Wiping her forehead, she took a look at the overflowing clothes basket, "I don't know how a family of five ends up with so much laundry, especially since Darwin doesn't even wear clothes..." She picked it up and walked around the house to put everything away. But when she finally approached the boys' room, she heard some strange noises coming from inside. Short grunts, moaning, and panting... was something wrong? "Gumball?" she called through the door as she turned the knob and let herself in. "Is everything okay in he-"

But she froze when she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, pants around his ankles, and a hand wrapped around his privates. After turning his head, his pupils shrunk. "AAH! MOM!" he screamed, freaking out as he tugged his shirt down over his crotch. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

She panicked and dropped the clothes basket, "S-Sorry!" She tried to turn around and leave, but slammed face first into the door frame before correcting herself, running out, and pulling the door shut behind her.

"Can't I get some privacy in my own room!?" she heard him yell. "Knock next time!"

"Sorry!" Nicole leaned against the door, panting and trying to process what she just saw. "Was he just- No, he couldn't be! He's not old enough to do that yet... is he?"

She headed back downstairs, sat down on the couch, and thought more about what just happened. "Could my Gummypuss really be doing something so... adult? I mean, he's always been my sweet little baby! Little boys aren't supposed to play with themselves like that! That's for lonely teenagers and losers!" She didn't want to believe it, she just wanted him to be her little baby forever. "Then again, he is getting older... I suppose he's at that age..."

Around that time, she heard a door open upstairs. Peeking up the stairs, she saw him heading to the bathroom, carrying some kind of toothpaste tube. Once he went in and closed the door, she headed back up and took a look around his room. As she entered, the first thing she noticed was a strange odor in the air. It wasn't unusual for Gumball's room to stink given how rarely he cleans it, but this was a different, funky kind of scent. She walked over to his bed and looked around where he was sitting earlier. There was a long white streak running down the blanket, one that she had never noticed before. It looked like it was freshly made, still wet to the touch and also giving off the same funky smell that was permeating the rest of the room. She looked over in the trash can next to the bed, only to see two crumpled up tissues wads sitting at the bottom. It felt a little gross to check them, but she needed to know. Picking up one of them, she slowly started to open it.

"Mom?" Gumball had suddenly appeared behind her.

"Ah!" Nicole tensed up and quickly slammed the tissue back in the trash, then turned around to face him. "Gumball! Uh, hi sweetie!"

"What are you doing?"

"Uh, well, uh..." Scanning the room for an excuse, she finally noticed the clothes basket she dropped earlier. "I just came back and get the clothes basket, that's all!"

"Uhh, okay?" Gumball raised an eyebrow at his mom's odd behavior.

She grabbed the basket and bolted out the door, desperately wanting to avoid any more awkward confrontations with her son. But there was one last thing she was still wondering about: what was he carrying with him back to the bathroom? She sat the basket on the floor and walked down the hall to check things out. The medicine cabinet seemed like the obvious place to look. There was toothpaste, rash cream, and... lube. Her heart sank now that everything was adding up. It was looking more and more like her little Gummypuss wasn't so little any more.

She hurried downstairs to the kitchen, where her husband was rummaging through the refrigerator. "Richard, we need to talk about Gumball. I think he's been... um... 'choking on the chicken,' if you know what I mean."

"Oh, I've had that problem before." he replied as he continued searching the fridge. "I know it's hard to slow down, but he just needs to chew more before he swallows."

"No, I mean he's... you know..." she hesitated, then whispered, "...masturbating."

He closed the door and stood back up, munching on a chunk of meat. "Well what do you want me to do about it?"

"Well, you're his father; I think it's about time you give him 'the talk'. You know, teach him about the birds and the bees, that sort of stuff."

After swallowing his food, he whined, "Awww, it's gonna be so weird though!"

"I know, but if we don't teach him, someone else will. And I don't want Gumball learning about sex from a bunch of perverts on the internet."

"Can't I just give him a tub of Crisco and let him figure it out himself? That's what my parents did, and I turned out fine!"

"Please honey, this is important." She paused, then muttered, "And that really explains a lot..."

Richard took a deep breath, "Alright Nicole, if that's what our boy needs, I'll do it!"

"Aww, thanks sweetie." She smiled and gave him a hug, "I really appreciate it."

Richard marched out of the kitchen and headed upstairs to Gumball's room. He stopped outside of the door, making sure to knock. "Gumball, can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in!" Gumball was sitting at the computer, but he turned the chair around to face his dad as he entered. "Hey dad, what's up?"

"Uhh..." he was beginning to get nervous, "Your mother wanted me to talk to you about something..."

"About what?"

"Well, uh... You see Gumball, when a boy your age gets to be about... uh... your age... well, there are birds, and there's also bees, and... to be honest I'm not sure what birds or bees have to do with any of this."

"Uhh... dad? What are you talking about?"

Richard sighed, "Look, son, your mom told me about what you were doing earlier. And I just want you to know, you don't need to be ashamed of it. Lots of guys do it. Heck, even I did it before I met your mother."

"Huh? Lots of guys put rash cream on their inner thighs?"

"Wait, what? Rash cream?"

...

Earlier that day, Gumball and Darwin were walking down the sidewalk on their way home from the park.

"Boy that was a fun day at the park!" Darwin cheered as he skipped along the sidewalk on his way home. "Wouldn't you agree, Gumball?"

But Gumball was slowly limping along behind him. "Fun? FUN!? First, I almost got stepped on by a fourty-foot tall giant! Then I got chased around the park and almost eaten by a t-rex! Then half of the playground got blown up by lasers and rockets! And as if all of that wasn't bad enough, somehow I got sand in my pants!" He shook his leg, causing a stream of sand to pour out of his leg hole and make a small hill on the sidewalk. "I think it's giving me a rash, dude."

"Huh, I wonder why that didn't happen to me?" Darwin asked.

Gumball folded his arms, "Probably because you don't wear pants."

Darwin looked down at his legs, "Oh yeah. I forgot!" He quickly cheered up and continued skipping home. Gumball sighed, then continued limping after him.

It wasn't much longer until the two of them made it home. Gumball immediately headed upstairs to the bathroom and looked through the medicine cabinet. "Let's see... Toothpaste, lubricant... Ah! Rash cream!" He grabbed the tube and took it with him back to his room, closing the door behind him. After dropping his pants and underwear, he sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to squirt some cream into his hand. However, nothing was coming out. He took a look inside the nozzle and noticed it was clogged by a dried up bit. Picking at it with his finger, he eventually got the opening cleared, sending a string of cream shooting out the tip. It flew through the air and landed on his sheets, leaving a long white mark running down the length of his bed. He grabbed a few tissues and started wiping it up, but he couldn't help but scrunch his nose at the smell. "Ugh, this junk reeks!"

With the bed cleaned up, Gumball could finally focus on treating his rash. After squirting some cream into his hand, he reached between his legs and started rubbing it in. "Ooh!" His face contorted into an agonizing expression. "Agh!" The sting of the cream against his rash was hard to endure. "Oww that burns!" Tears were welling up in his eyes. He bit his lips and tried to bear the pain, but he couldn't stop himself from grunting and moaning as he continued rubbing.

"Gumball?" he heard his mom's voice call from outside. But before he could even respond, the door was already opening. "Is everything okay in he-"

He looked up and saw her standing in the doorway, looking directly back at him while his pants were still down. "AAH! MOM!" he screamed as he tugged his shirt down over his crotch. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

...

"...Oh. So that's what happened?" Richard reacted after hearing the events from his son's point of view. "You weren't... uhh... spanking the monkey?"

"Spanking the monkey?" The only thing Gumball could picture was slapping Ms. Simian's big red baboon butt. The mere thought was causing him to wretch. "Eww dad! Why would I want to do that!?"

"Uhh... Nevermind! Good talk, son!"

Richard turned around and left the room before his son could ask any more questions. Right after closing the door, he bumped into Nicole in the hallway.

"Well? How did it go?"

"Didn't have it." He cheerfully replied. "Turns out he was just putting on rash cream. So I'm off the hook now, right?"

"Rash cream? Wait, Richard-"

But he was already walking away, "Thanks, love you!"

While she sighed at her husband, she still felt some relief. "Well, at least I rest easy knowing that Gumball is still my baby, at least for a little while longer. I hope he doesn't grow up too fast." Looking down at the floor, she noticed the clothes basket. "Oh, I almost forgot to bring him his clean clothes."

After picking it up, she opened the door and went back into his room. But the first thing that caught her eyes were the many pictures of nude catgirls that were scattered around the computer screen. And sitting at the computer was her son, with his pants around his ankles.

Turning his head, his eyes got wide once again. "AAH! MOM!"

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