His head stung. He knew he was bleeding. His leg was throbbing. He knew it was broken. But... that was not important right now...

"One, two, three, four, five-" Leo's voice was ragged as he felt not only his pain but also the eminent tiredness of sore muscles seep in. "Twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty." He leaned down, covering his limp brother's nostrils with one hand as he blew air into his lungs once, then twice. "Come on, don't do this to me..." He waited for signs of breathing, but the plastron still refused to move. Grunting, he resumed his chest compressions, tears starting to swell up in his eyes. 

"Leo... It's not working, Leo..." Michelangelo whimpered, clenching to his other brother's arm as his baby-blue eyes fluttered helplessly over the grim scene. 

"Shut up, Mikey!... Ten, eleven, twelve-" He knew that. He knew what had become obvious to the others, but he refused to acknowledge it out loud. Not yet.

"Leo, stop! He's gone! Just stop it!" A pair of three-fingered hands tried to pry the clan leader from the lifeless body on the blood stained ground, sending the eldest of the bunch into an even deeper despair. 

"Let me go! Let me go!!! I'm not done! I can't stop! He's.... He's.... He can't!!!! That idiot!!!! He can't!!!!" Hazel eyes looked up to meet chocolate brown ones; looking for any sign of hope, but in exchange poor Leonardo only found anguish. Donatello had made it clear before, their brother was gone. 

Unable to hold back his tears for any longer, Leonardo's face dropped to his fallen brother's plastron, sobbing breathlessly. "Leo..." Donatello's voice sounded like a mumble to him. How could he have let this happen? It was his sole duty to keep everyone safe, to think ahead, to be the leader he had trained for so many years to be. But with poor Raphael's mangled, bloody corpse lying on the cold concrete, his failure was screaming in his face. 

"Hey, Leo. Whatcha doing, bro? Ya've been really quiet for a while," Raphael's husky voice resonated through the dojo.

"Hey, Raph... Just thinking about tonight's mission," Leo whispered as he diligently wrapped his hands in preparation for the battle to come.

"What's there ta think 'bout? We go in, we kick ass, we disarm the bomb and walk out. That's all there is ta it, no?" Raphael chuckled, trying to ease the burden on his older brother's shoulders. Leonardo's unwavering eyes coming up to meet those unique golden orbs, made the larger mutant cut his chuckle short and bring down a thick gulp.

"It's no laughing matter. Your safety is my priority. All of yours; Don and Mike's too." Raphael rolled his eyes at his goody-two-shoe, fearless leader's words, but he was suddenly drawn back when he felt a hand grip the top of his plastron, bringing his stature down in a haste to be stopped half way by the feeling of soft, warm lips meet his mouth in a delicate kiss. Raphael gave a low groan as he closed his eyes and let himself go in the moment. "Please, promise me you won't be rash. I need you safe," whispered Leonardo. 

"Whateva' ya say, Fearless..." Raphael pulled his lover back, deepening the kiss as his hands explored the length of his beloved's body. 

They had loved each other since they were teens. Now, a few years passed, their ferocious, clashing personalities had managed to feed and nourish the most passionate relationship anyone could imagine. Their resolve unbreakable, they had gained the blessing of their beloved father and master. And it was that night, after they would come back from another successful mission to save the city of New York, that Leonardo would tell Raphael he wanted them to move out together, just as Raph had asked him to so many times. A place of their own where they could bask in each other's warmth to their heart's desire... But that bliss would never come.

Michelangelo's whimpers brought Leo back to the present moment. Donatello was beside him cradling Raphael's head on his knees. Leo looked to the side at the bastard who had taken his beloved's life. Bishop's evil grin for ever drawn on his lifeless face, blood drying up as it trickled down from where Raph had managed to embed his sai through the mastermind's temple. With shaky hands, Leonardo pulled his fallen mate's body up. "Let's go," he ordered. Donnie's and Mikey's blood-shot eyes metting each others before going to their leader's. "Home. He needs to come home." Without arguing, they stood up in silence, helping carry Raphael's heavy body, the three mutant's made their way to their secret lair. 

"Leo, your leg..." Donnie pointed out to the obviously swollen extremity. He knew by looking at his older brother's pale face that he was enduring excruciating pain from a broken bone, and as a medic he knew the importance of taking care of such injury before infection could seep in and threaten to take his life. 

Leonardo gently placed a pillow under Raphael's head, ignoring his brainy sibling's comment. At the moment he could not care less about his physical pain, he could perish, for all he cared. "Leo..." It was Michelangelo's soft voice, full of tremor, that snapped his attention back to reality. 

"I'm sorry, Mikey... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't be a better leader. I'm sorry that we lost him today..." He started to sob. "If I could trade places with him I would. I swear I would. I would do anything to bring him back..." The once stoic leader had reached his breaking point. His younger brothers watched his meltdown with knots in their throats. "He told me he had a bad feeling about that room, and I didn't listen... I killed him, not Bishop but me! I'm his murderer!!!" At this last sentence, the younger ones jumped up and tackled their weeping brother with comforting hugs. 

"You did all you could, Leo," Donatello spoke softly. "Some things are just out of our control..."

"Raph would follow you anywhere Leo," Michelangelo said. "What he did was for his love for you."

Leonardo's mind was pummeled back to the moment his world ended...

"This way!" The leader in blue followed his sharp instincts towards the beeping noise which was becoming louder with every turn he took. Raphael close behind as always. 

"Leo! Slow down!" The red-banded brother had been asking the same of him since they separated from the other two. 

"We have to make it in time, Raph! The clock is ticking on that bomb. Bishop is not one to bluff." Instead of slowing his pace, Leo's feet seemed to be moving even faster. 

"Leo! We need a plan B. What's plan B?!" Raphael pleaded, sensing in his gut that something was wrong. Suddenly Leo came to a halt in front of a door, they could see some kind of red light shinning from beneath it. As Leo readied to open it, Raphael's broad body stood in front of him, golden eyes glaring with the heat of the summer sun. "Leonardo! I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but STOP! Just stop and think for a moment! This is obviously a trap! I say wait for Donnie." 

Leo gave a low growl. He knew what was behind that door. One of their most feared foes, the evil, always conniving, Agent Bishop. And with him the battle was always dangerous. "It can already be too late, Raphael. Stand guard here, cover my back. I'm going in." Leo dodged under Raph's arm and pummeled through the door. Raphael's golden orbs were wide with fear as he saw his mate disappear into the red lit room. 

"Leo... We really have to take care of your leg... And your head definitely needs stitches..." Donatello's voice snapped Leo back once more, making him wince as his olive hand was laid on his leg injury. 

"I deserve this pain..." he muttered. He passed his hand over Raphael's now cold face, his strong jaw was slightly opened. Leonardo stared at his emerald green lips, those lips that would never be warm again, those lips that would never kiss him again, those lips... those lips that would never draw another smile for him. Leonardo cried, leaning down he pressed his trembling lips to Raphael's, flinching slightly at the coldness he received, he kissed him gently, then holding his head with one hand and hugging his chest with the other he submerged his face into the once strong turtle's neck. "Raphie... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." 

Donnie stood up, giving Michelangelo a gentle pull, he guided them out from the room, leaving Leo to say his last goodbyes. 

Once alone, Leonardo climbed atop the bed next to Raphael's body, hugging it gently, he started to sob, mumbling a thousand 'I'm sorry's' into his now deaf ears. He let his pain envelope him until his eyes were so swollen tears couldn't come out anymore... Then he allowed himself to sleep, with the throbbing desire to dream of his beloved, just to see him smile one more time...