Hollywoo. A dazzling city, full of magic and enchantment and where there were opportunities everywhere for all the young men and women who look for the excitement of the life of actors, and who could make any and all their dreams come true... Yeah, okay, I don’t buy it either. That place was a giant scam. It was dirty, prostitution was out on the streets, and everyone was not even ashamed of being either an alcoholic, a drug addict or a pervert. People came there full of dreams only to see them shattered, and they ended up living the rest of their days in dead-end jobs on that fucking city or went back home with their heads low and ready to give up on everything. And those who managed to make it big would eventually become people different from who they were when they first arrived, turning into arrogant shitheads who thought that others were beneath them and that they could step on them as much as they liked. They would live lives of appearances and scandals, doing whatever they could for a role and not caring for anyone other than themselves as they kept their lives going, only worried about what other people saw them as, instead of what they were. This was a city were looks and perceived notions were all that mattered for most of the people, especially the ones on the entertainment industry, and screw everything else. This was how you made big on that city. This was a sad and pathetic reality, and very few of them managed to break that mold and remain themselves after reaching the fame and fortune offered by the allures of the accursed honeytrap that was Hollywoo, which would suck them dry until there was nothing left and then spit out their bones. Like it did to a certain Horseman. “You fucking jerk!” Said a woman as she adjusted her clothes, which were revealing and flashy, as expected of her profession. “You are as much of an asshole as everyone says! I’m never taking a job from you again! Fry in Hell!” The girl slammed the door on her way out, leaving the man she was with just a few minutes ago to look at the door after she left. Bojack was wearing only a pair of boxers, and he still had some of her lipstick on his face, as they did made out pretty roughly before they went to business. The horse sighed. That was one hooker who would never answer to his calls again. Well, plenty more of them around. He just wished he could have finished before she got mad at him and stormed off. Only one thing to do now: drown his sorrows in bourbon. All the while he reflected about how that whole thing went. It was going nicely until a certain point. They were making out sloppily, before Bojack took her to bed and started raw-dogging her into the mattress. He may have been rougher than he needed to, but he was the one paying her, after all. However, it all went downhill when he got excited enough to start calling someone’s name. It was not her name. He didn’t bother to ask it. She told it when she arrived, but he didn’t care enough to memorize it. Instead, he called someone else’s name. However, it was not the kind of name that he would want to call in a moment like that. It was a name that he hoped to never even think about calling while he was having sex. He called Peanut Butter’s name. He called the name of that stupid, annoying dog who made his skin crawl just by being on his mind. And the dog was on his mind a lot lately. Ever since that kiss. That fucking kiss they were forced to make by a member of the audience of that stupid talk show who was probably some faggot who just wanted to see them kiss so he could jack off to it later. It didn’t seem that big of a deal at first. Bojack could easily chalk it as just another thing of his life that he would be able to forget about after just a few days. I mean, everyone forgot about it after a week. Then why didn’t he!? Why the hell did he still go back to that stupid kiss whenever he allowed his mind to wander too much!? Why the hell he saw himself back on that fucking auditorium kissing that stupid dog on the mouth while everyone watched them and wooed as if they were seeing a saucy scene of a corny porn!? Why the hell the thoughts of that kiss remained on his mind so much that they were all he could think about while he was kissing that hooker!? Why the thoughts of that stupid dog crawled their way into his brain so much that it was HIS name he yelled when he was fucking that whore, causing Bojack himself to have a freak out and end up pushing the girl so hard off the bed that she fell and landed on her head!? Why... why he could not take off his mind how [i]nice[/i] it felt to kiss that dog? “Fuck!” Bojack said, walking back to the living room of his house with a whole bottle of bourbon on his hand. “Fuck, fuck fuck! Fucking Hell! Fucking shit! Seven shades of fuck! Fucking fuck! FUCK!” Bojack dropped himself on the couch, laying in there as if he was already drunk and ready to pass out, even though he had clearly not drunk enough, since he could still think clearly enough that he was still a mess. More of a mess than usual. Bojack took another, long swing of that bourbon, going nearly one quarter of the bottle in one go, and then continuing to look at the ceiling. He was still there. That stupid dog was still on his head. The kiss was still on his head. He wondered if he had enough bottles of bourbon at home... Well, he would find out as soon as he was done with the one on his hand. [i]Fuck you, Peanut, you stupid happy dog.[/i] Bojack thought as he took a swing of the bottle on his hand. [i]Fuck you and myself...[/i] Yeah, the “myself” was nearly mandatory to Bojack, considering how fucked up his life was, and how he ended up fucking everyone else’s life by association. This was something he deserved. Once more, Bojack pondered if he should just get himself truly drunk and jump on the pool. He was never the best swimmer, and could never swim when he was drunk, he would not take too long to drown, it would certainly work. If only this time he could manage to keep himself from passing out before arriving at the pool... Suddenly, a familiar sound pierced through the air, as well as to Bojack’s nightly suicidal thoughts. It was the doorbell ringing. Bojack blinked, and he just laid there, taking another swing of the bourbon as he decided to let whoever it was knocking on his door at such an ungodly hour just think there was no one home. He as not forced to answer the door if he didn’t want, after all. He just went back to the thoughts of drinking bourbon just on the right amount that he would lose all ability to swim but would still be steady enough on his feet to walk all the way to the pool. The doorbell came again. This time it was longer, as whoever it was pressing the bell rather insistently. They were even knocking. [i]Who the fuck is it!?[/i] Bojack thought to himself, as he got up from his sofa and walked to the door. [i]Did that hooker (what was her name again?) came back to ask for the full payment? She better finish what she started if she wants the money...[/i] However, as Bojack turned in the video that was connected to the camera on the front door to see who it was, he saw that it was not the hooker. In fact, it was one of the last people he was ever expecting to see. Perhaps the last of them all. [i]What the fuck is that stupid dog doing here!?[/i] Bojack thought as he saw the image of the familiar blonde dog standing there, with black shirt and jeans pants, socks and flipflops, and looking like he was really awkward to be in there, nearly as if he was a child going to the dentist. The dog rang the doorbell and then knocked again. “Bojack?” Peanut said, his voice being heard by the dog both through the door and through the video-feed. “Bojack, are you there? Are you sleeping?” Bojack was getting annoyed with the dog, his hand gripping the bottle harder while his other hand pressed a button. “I am awake now, you dumb dog!” Bojack said on microphone and seeing as the dog looked in surprise as the horse’s voice came to him through the speaker. “Do you know what time it is!?” Peanut, while surprised, recovered and looked at the camera once he noticed it. The next time he spoke was directly to it. “Yeah, kinda late, no?” “It’s three a.m.” Bojack said to him. “At this hour, I think even the ghosts have clocked out and went back to their graves to call it a night. What the fuck are you doing ringing my doorbell?” Peanut looked at the camera, and then he took a minute, nearly as he if was thinking of the answer. Bojack, however, was never known for being the most patient guy. “Well?” Bojack asked through the speaker. “Are you going to answer, or do you plan to just stand in front of my door like some ugly dog-faced decoration?” This seemed to make Peanut snapt out of it, and then he said: “Bojack, I need to talk to you. Can I come in?” Bojack was the one who took a moment, before answering: “No.” “Wha- why not!?” Peanut asking. Bojack had an answer to that: “Because it is three in the morning, because I am tired and drinking after a bad night and, most important than anything else, I don’t want to fucking talk to you! Now leave before [i]I [/i]call the police on you, for a change!” “Bojack, I [i]really[/i] need to talk to you!” Peanut insisted, but Bojack was not interested. No way he wanted to face that dog after what happened tonight. After he moaned [i]his name[/i] while being with a hooker, and after he had just been thinking of their kiss. Bojack just wanted to shut him out and go back to his self-hatred and self-loathing in peace. “Just go away!” Bojack said to him, “Go back to your wife!” Bojack was about to end this and go back to the living room, but what Peanut said next made him stop on his tracks: “Diane and I are divorcing!” Bojack blinked, and then he went back to the camera and microphone. “For real?” Bojack asked, and that was when he saw Peanut’s face through the camera. The dog looked miserable, a great contrast with the usual happy self that he showed nearly all the time. “Bojack...” Peanut said, looking straight at the camera. “I [i]really[/i] need to talk to you. Please...” Bojack didn’t wanted to talk to him, to be fully honest. He didn’t want to be anywhere within three-hundred meters of that dog most of the time, [i]especially[/i] after that fucking kiss. However, seeing his miserable expression, and his swollen and bloodshot eyes, something moved inside of the horse’s asshole heart. Something that made him want to, on a rare occasion, not be an asshole. That was how Bojack decided to open the door and allow Peanut Butter to come inside his house so they could have a talk. He had no idea of how much that decision would impact his life. How it would change his life and his destiny forever... [center]******************************************************[/center] “Feeling better now?” Bojack asked as he saw Peanut down his second glass of bourbon all in one go. “If you are not, just keep drinking. I have a lot of booze on the house and can get you another bottle if you want.” Peanut sighed as he allowed the alcohol to take effect on his system, calming his nerves and helping him collect his thoughts as he was able to feel a little better. He had never been much of a drinker, but even he acknowledged that some alcohol on the right situation could really make a man feel better about his life going to crap. He told Bojack that he was okay and thanked him for sharing some of his bourbon. “So, you and Diane are really divorcing? For real?” Bojack asked. “Gotta say, didn’t expected the nice and loved-by-everyone Mr. Peanut Butter to have such a short-lived marriage.” Peanut looked at the horse, and then he looked down. At that moment, Bojack had a feeling that was rare for him: He felt bad for having hurt someone else with his words. [i]Why the fuck am I feeling bad!? I insult people all the time and I never feel bad for it! And I never even liked this stupid dog! Why the fuck would I feel bad for saying something to hurt his delicate princess feelings!? Seriously, what’s happening to me!?[/i] “Yeah, I didn’t expect it to end this quickly either...” peanut said, looking down at his empty glass. “I thought that, after the show a few months ago, things had settled down and Diane and I could go back to our marriage and be happy together but... we couldn’t...” Bojack looked at him. He had a few commentaries about it. Most of it mocking Peanut, who ever loved and adored and who was considered “the goodest boy of the national television”, having failed so bad at a husband that he was on his third divorce. And everyone said that Bojack was the one who would never be able to hold a girl for long. Bojack really wanted to rub on the dog’s face how he was the one who could not hold a marriage. That would certainly make him feel better about a lot of things. However, once more in an extremely un-Bojack like fashion, the horse instead held his tongue and, instead of saying something toxic and filled with bile and lash, he just made a polite commentary: “I’m sorry to hear that... so, I guess you guys could not move on about her having cheated on you with me.” Now, that could seem like it was harsh, but it was still better than most of the other things that Bojack thought about saying to him just a moment ago, all of which would most likely make the dog have stormed out of his house in tears. However, much to his surprise, Peanut said: “No, it was not that. I... I forgave her for that, and we agreed to leave it behind. It was...” The dog paused, and then he sighed. “It was me.” Now [i]that[/i] caught Bojack’s attention. Was Peanut just admitting that his marriage failed because of him? Was it one of those cases where the guy blames himself for not having done better? Or had he actually done something? “It seemed okay on the first week after the episode. We were okay, and everything seemed nice. We were talking about going to her parents to let them know we were okay...” Peanut said. “But, as time passed, things got... awkward. We didn’t talk as much as before. I wasn’t as keen as being near her or doing things with her as I did before. I forgot the day of our first date one of those days... and then two nights ago I...” Bojack was looking intently at the dog, as he paused and looked away. Seriously? Was he going to stop talking now!? For fuck’s sake! He needed to know what this stupid dog had done to deserve having his wife divorcing him! “What?” Bojack asked, “What is it? What did you do?” He sounded pretty impatient as he asked this, and Peanut flinched a bit. He once more felt bad for it, but he could not bring himself to feel too bad because he [i]really[/i] wanted to know what was it that Peanut did for Diane to decide to leave him. “We were having a romantic night.” Peanut said. “We had been having trouble to be intimate, and she wanted to make it special. She really went all out. Fine wine. Rose petals on the bed. Candle light. New sexy lingerie. And I liked it.” “We started it off, and I was getting aroused. I was kissing her, and we were just about to start. We broke our kiss and she said my name. And then I said...” Peanut once more paused, before saying. “Yours.” Bojack blinked. He just blinked and kept staring at the dog. “What.” Bojack said, and Peanut looked at the horse. “When I was about to have sex to my wife. When I was kissing her and getting aroused for what we were about to do...” Peanut spoke. “I moaned [i]your name[/i], Bojack.” Bojack said nothing in return to this. He just kept staring at the dog. Was... was he being serious? “As you can imagine...” Peanut said, looking away. “That put a dampen on the evening.” “You... moaned my name?” Bojack said, his mind still trying to grips with what he heard. “Yeah, I did.” Peanut confirmed. “Things were already weird between me and Diane, but after that...” He sighed. “We had a talk on the following morning and, I kind of just opened myself to her. She didn’t say anything, and just left. And, tonight, I came back home to find a letter saying that she was going back to her parents’ house and signed divorce papers... that was when I came to see you.” “You moaned... my name?” Bojack asked once again, his mind fixating into this one particular detail above all others, to the point where everything else the dog was saying was only barely registering. “You were about to have sex with your wife. You were eating up her face as you hit base two out of four and on your way to the third one, your dick probably as hard as a diamond inside your trousers, and you were thinking about [i]me[/i]!?” “I-I can’t help it...” Peanut said to him. “I am always thinking about you. Ever since our kiss I... I cannot stop thinking about it.” Bojack’s left eye twitched. “I only did it because that guy on the audience dared us to... and to tease you.” Peanut admitted. “But since we kissed I... I couldn’t stop thinking about it... and about you.” Bojack looked at the dog, his mind trying quite hard to process everything that he was hearing, before he laid back, taking a huge swing of the cup of bourbon on his hand, which he was quickly refueling. “So, in the end, I really did ruin your marriage.” Bojack said to the dog. “But, instead of doing it by sleeping with your wife and making her ditch you to stay with me, I did it by kissing you and turning you gay.” Bojack could not believe those words were coming out of his mouth, but they were, and saying them made him feel funny. So much that he let out a chuckle. “All it took was a kiss... fuck, I must be the sexiest man alive.” Bojack said to the dog. “I... guess so...” peanut said, sounding awkward, and Bojack looked at him. “And, what about you? Do you... do you think about our kiss too?” “No.” Bojack said a bit too quickly. That was a blatant lie, but no different from all the other lies that the horse told during the course of his life, from the minor one to the biggest ones. This was just another lie that he told. “Oh...” Peanut said, looking down. “You... really don’t?” “No, I don’t.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure.” “Not even a little?” “No.” “Not even once in a while?” “No.” “Not even once when you see my show’s episodes?” “I don’t watch your stupid show and I already said no.” Bojack said to him harshly, and he was starting to lose his cool with the dog. He hoped that the tone he used would be enough to convince him. However, the dog, once more showing that he was mostly oblivious to how Bojack felt about him, started to press. “Like, you don’t think about it [i]at all[/i]?” Peanut asked. “I mean, it was a nice kiss. I mean, at least I thought it was nice back then. That’s why I have been thinking back about it a lot on the past weeks and ended up growing distant from Diane. Seriously, I was surprise at how nice our kiss felt. It was kind of... electric? Seriously, I never felt like that when kissing a woman in my whole life! It was just... I don’t know how to describe. Magical? I guess so. I mean, I could not forget that kiss and I just thought that maybe you were thinking about it too...” Bojack was trembling. He was trembling out of frustration. His hand was tightening around the cup he was holding on his hand, threatening to break it glass container. This was something Peanut noticed. “Bojack?” he asked, and that was when the dog snapped, letting out a groan that turned into an outright scream. “You fucking stupid dog!” Bojack yelled as he threw the cup, causing it to shatter on the wall. “You want to know if I still think about that fucking kiss!? Do you!? Well, fine then! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since it happened!” Peanut flinched and recoiled as Bojack continued his tirade: “I have been thinking about it nearly non-stop! I feel it sneak into my head like a little worm crawling around my brain! It is the last thing I think about before I pass out drunk on my bed, and it is the first thing that comes to my head when I wake up with it pounding from a hangover! I have caught myself thinking about it and about that stupid smug smirk on your cute little face right before you kissed me!” Peanut blinked. “Cute...?” “I thought about it when I was in the shower!” Bojack said. “I thought about it when I was masturbating! And tonight, when I was with a hooker and we were in the middle of sex, I yelled out your name when I was about to come!” “That’s right, I went through the same thing you did with your wife, but with a hooker! All because of that stupid kiss you gave me! It is like you infected me with your gayness! Like you crawled your way into my head like a fucking parasite and are now living in there rent-free!” “And, all because I yelled your name while having sex, the hooker got upset and left! I mean, I kind of panicked and pushed her away and she slammed her head on the ground when she fell out of the bed, but that doesn’t change the fact it was all because of you! And she didn’t even let me finish! You are the reason my balls are blue now! You wanna see!?” Before Peanut could even think of answering, Bojack lowered his bottoms all the way to his ankles and stepped out of them. “B-Bojack!?” Peanut blurted out, blushing as the horse now stood before him with his dick out in the open, swinging it nearly into the dog’s nose as he walked so he was standing before the sitting canine. “Take a good look!” Bojack yelled at the dog, pointing at his dick, which was still stained with the marks of the hooker’s lipstick. “Take a look at my balls! They are as blue as those of a corpse! And it is all because of you! You did this to me, and you better take responsibility now! Suck my dick!” “Wait, what!?” Peanut said, looking up at the horse. “You came to my door, annoyed me with your talking and drank from my booze! The least you can do right now is make up for the orgasm I lost with that whore by finishing what she started!” Bojack said to the dog, once more pointing at his dick, which swung with each movement he made. Peanut could not help but stare at it. He never knew Bojack was so... hung. Well, that should have been expected, considering he is a horse and all. No wonder Diane could not resist him... “What are you waiting for!?” Bojack demanded of the dog, making him look up at him. “Go ahead and start sucking my dick! Or you can get your ass out of my couch and leave my house right now, you fucking pooch!” Bojack was not on his right mind right now. He was pissed off and drunk, what is a bad combination for most people, and for that horse in particular. He swung his dick before the dog’s face, even making it smack right across his snout. Peanut blushed madly as he was confronted with the choice of either sucking Bojack’s dick or leaving at that very moment. However, Bojack himself never expected, not in a million years, that he would choose the former. He didn’t expect Peanut to reach out for his dick with his hands and grasp it. He didn’t expect him to rub his dick with his hands, and then lean forward and give the head a tentative lick. He didn’t expect Peanut to then open his mouth and close it around the head of his penis and start sucking gently. Bojack was so surprise that he didn’t had it in him to scream a cuss as the dog did exactly what he told him to do. He only stared down at Peanut with wide eyes as the dog continued to suck his dick as he blushed vividly. However, he did snap out of it when he heard a moan escape from Peanut’s dick-filled mouth. “W-what the fuck, Peanut!?” The dog pulled out in surprise, and he looked up at Bojack with wide eyes and some saliva dribbling down his lips. It was as if he suddenly got aware of exactly what he was doing. The next thing he knew, he was profusely apologizing to the horse, and saying that he would be seeing himself out. However, as the embarrassed-looking dog was trying to get up and leave the house, Bojack stopped him with a single hand to his shoulder, which squeezed it before forcing the dog back into the couch. “Bojack?” Peanut asked as he looked up at the horse, who was looking back at him with an expression that one could think was a pissed expression. He did sound pissed as he spoke next: “I got blue-balled once tonight. I am not having it happen two times in a row.” He then straightened himself and presented his dick to the horse once more. It was slightly covered in saliva, glistening as it stood at half-mast before the canine’s muzzle. “Get back at it, you faggot bitch.” Peanut shivered slightly as Bojack talked to him like that. And then, without wasting time, he did exactly as the horse said to him, and he opened his mouth and took the half-hard dick back on his mouth and started sucking. “That’s right.” Bojack growled. “That’s a good little bitch. An obedient little faggot who sucks dick in command, and I don’t even need to pay you. Man, I wish hookers were all like that.” Peanut had a very vivid blush on his face as he sucked Bojack’s dick while the horse continued to talk down to him. He even moaned as he started dragging his lips over that dick as he started to bob his head over it, making wet slurping sounds on it as he sucked like it was candy. This made Bojack snorted and moan in pleasure as he threw his head back. “Fuck!” Bojack said, as he reached out for Peanut’s head and gripped on the fur in it. He would have gripped the dog’s ears had he thought about doing it, but only the fur of his head was enough. It was what he needed so he could force the dog to take more of his dick as he sucked him. Peanut gagged and choked around that dick, as it was forced into his mouth by the horse currently using it like a toy. Bojack would drag his head back and forth into his dick, telling him to “keep sucking, you fucking fag”, and even sending his dick so deep into his mouth that Peanut had to fight back his gag-reflex so he would not vomit right over Bojack’s dick. The horse seemed not to care but, as the dog started to really choke and retch around his dick, he would pull out so just the tip was resting on Peanut’s lips, allowing the dog to breathe and recover, before he started forcing his dick in once more. They kept at it for several minutes, during which Bojack didn’t held back on the colorful language to the dog, calling him all manners of things, from “fucking bitch” to “pansy cock-hungry faggot”. And Peanut did not fight it. He only rolled his eyes and moaned as Bojack did as he wanted with him. He didn’t even react on the times Bojack gave him a slap to the cheek while telling him to “suck harder” or to “watch the teeth”. If anything, Peanut moaned a tad bit harder when the horse smacked his face like that. Nearly as if he liked it. Bojack, however, couldn’t give a shit about it. He was too busy enjoying the feeling of having his dick sucked. When was it the last time when he last felt so good while being sucked off? The horse honestly could not remember, and he was digging into that feeling very much. So much, in fact, that, by the twenty-minute mark, the horse couldn’t hold himself back anymore. His grip on Peanut’s fur tightened and he started to thrust his hips in earnest, sending his dick in and out of the horse’s throat so hard that Peanut convulsed a bit, choking around that dick and tearing up from the feeling of having his throat ravaged. But none of that made Bojack stop, as the horse only continued fucking his throat hard, making the dog’s snout collide with his pubic fur roughly as he used Peanut’s throat like a fleshlight. The horse continued speeding up his fucking. Grunting and snorting as he continued to fuck the dog’s throat, who chocked with wet, gurgling noises around the dick a bit punished his throat hard. His eyes starting to roll as stars danced on the corners of his vision. All the while a weak moan continued to force itself from the depths of his throat were that dick was lodged. He even continued moaning as the dick inside of his mouth convulsed while buried deep within his gullet, unloading the churning contents of those furry balls as the horse held him in place. By the time he finally pulled him out, Peanut had been a hair width’s away from fainting from lack of oxygen. However, in no occasion he tried to fight the horse. All he did was gasp as he breathed deeply and coughed a mixture of saliva and cum, which leaked from his lips and dripped on his shirt and on the ground beneath. For a long moment, the only sounds heard on the house were Peanut’s coughing and the heavy breathing of the horse responsible for that coughing. Then, after nearly two minutes, a voice is heard saying: “Fuck... fuck!” Peanut, recovered from the coughing, but still feeling his throat hurting a little from such a rough fucking, looked up at the horse, only to see that Bojack was talking to himself. “Fuck... fuck... fuck, fucking shit. Fucking steamy shitpies... that’s the best blowjob I had in decades...” And the horse continued to whisper to himself, nearly as if he had forgotten that Peanut was in there. Until the dog talked to him: “Bojack?” The horse blinks and focuses his eyes on Peanut, with an expression that was nearly one of surprise. Almost as if the horse had completely forgotten that he was in there. They looked at each other for a long moment, before the horse said: “You’re tenting.” It was Peanut’s turn to blink, and then he looked down, and saw that he, indeed, had a tent on his pants. “You got hard from having my dick jabbing at your throat?” Bojack asked him. “You fucking faggot slut.” Peanut blushed, and he covered his tent with his hands, what only seemed to annoy the horse. “Seriously? We are way past the awkward embarrassment stage!” The horse then grabbed the horse by the collar of his shirt and forced him to his feet. The dog was now looking in the eyes of the taller horse, as Bojack said: “Drop them.” “What?” Was all that Peanut could say in answer to the sudden command. “Your pants.” Bojack clarified. “Drop them. Your trousers too. Let me see it.” Peanut was still blushing. His hands were shaking slightly as he reached for his pants, unbuckling his belt and opening the fly, and letting his pants fall down to his ankles, revealing his pure white briefs. “Of course...” Bojack said as he looked at the underwear that Peanut was using as he stepped out of his pants, before grabbing his tenting underwear and lowering it down to his ankles as well, and now standing before the horse bottomless, with his hard dick still standing at attention. Just like Bojack’s own dick, which was still hard even after cumming, covered in a combination of his own and Peanut’s fluids, as it was so close to Peanut’s dick that they could feel the heat emanating from each other’s members as the horse stepped closer. Peanut stiffened as he felt Bojack grab his dick with his hand, and then press it against his own member, holding them both into the same hand, with his fingers tightly wrapped around them both. For a moment, Peanut though that Bojack was going to start rubbing their dicks with his hand, like a two-person handjob. However, he soon realized that Bojack was merely comparing their sizes. “I am bigger. Like I always suspected.” Bojack said, and it was truth. His dick was not only nearly two inches longer than Peanut’s, but he was also thicker than him. “This means you are the bitch.” “Wait, what?” “I have the bigger dick.” Bojack said, “This makes me the alpha, the stud. What means you are the mall-dicked loser, the little bitch faggot that I will be fucking in the ass. That’s the gay law.” Peanut looked at the horse for a few moments. “That’s not a thing.” He said, to what Bojack said: “Well it is now! Any protests?” Peanut opened his mouth, and it seemed that he was going to protest. However, after a few seconds of his mouth open, he closed it and looked down, the blush clearly visible on his face. “As I thought.” Bojack said and, before Peanut could protest, Bojack grabbed him by the legs and holstered him, carrying him over his shoulder to the bedroom like a caveman would carry a fresh kill back to his cave to have a feast. Once more, Peanut didn’t voice a single protest. He didn’t seem to mind being handled so aggressively by his partner. In fact, as he was handled like that by Bojack, he felt his dick throbbing even harder and leaking pre. Even as the horse carried him all the way to the bedroom, and practically slammed him down into the mattress so hard that it left the dog winded. “W-wait!” Peanut said. “Bojack, wait!” “What!?” Bojack snapped at him. And the dog said: “Bojack, are we really doing it?” “Why wouldn’t we? You just sucked my dick!” Bojack said back. “Besides, I need to get you off somehow, and I am not a cock-hungry fag like you. No way I am taking your dick in my mouth.” “Yeah, but... you are so BIG! I-I don’t think I can take it...” “Well, I didn’t think you could take my dick down that slutty throat of yours, but you proved to be an excellent cock-sucker.” Bojack said to him. “Of course you can take my dick up your ass! Just power through it like you did to suck me off while I was raw-dogging your throat, and you should be fine.” “B-but...” “No buts!” Bojack said to him, cutting him off. “The only ‘butt’ I am interested in now is this yellow one of yours that I will be shoving my dick into!” With that said, Bojack spat, a slimy glob of saliva landing into Peanut’s ass. He then started rubbing his dick over it, smearing it into the slicky substance, before he started to force it against the dog’s tailhole. “Mmm!” Peanut whimpered as he bit his lip. “Will you stop clenching?” Bojack said to him, “This will only make it worse! Relax your ass!” Peanut hesitated, but he did as Bojack instructed and tried to relax, although it was not easy with how nervous he was feeling at the prospect of having a dick up his tailhole. He eventually managed to calm himself enough for his asshole to unclench, and this allows Bojack to finally start forcing his dick inside. Naturally, it was not a painless experience, considering how big Bojack was. Peanut whimpered and whined as that dick forced its way into his ass. “Want me to stop?” Bojack asked, surprising the dog who already had the first two inches of Bojack’s dick into his asshole. “I mean, I can stop if you want...” Bojack was looking away as he said that. Peanut looked at him, and then he said: “J-just give me some time... you know, to adjust.” And Bojack did. He waited for a few minutes for Peanut to get used to the dick stretching his ass. Only when the dog gave him the signal, Bojack continued. He continued to force more of his dick inside, causing Peanut to whine and shiver, until he had a little over half of the horse’s dick up his butt. He panted and breathed through his mouth as Bojack remained inside of him. Then, the horse pulled out slowly, until only the tip was inside. Then, with the same slowness, he forced his dick back in. Then he repeated the motion a second time, and then a third. By the fourth time he did this, Peanut let out a loud moan as he shivered, his dick throbbing and spurting pre from the feeling of penetration. “Feeling good now?” Bojack asked, and Peanut could only nod and say a meek “yes”. “Good. This means I can start fucking you for real. Get ready, bitch! Here comes the horse pound!” This was all the warning that Peanut had before Bojack started going all caveman-ape-shit on his ass, breeding him hard and causing those moans to turn into gasps and then into howls as the dog was subjected to a pleasure of the likes he never felt before. Bojack showed no mercy to Peanut. He bred him hard, holding onto his legs and practically lifting Peanut’s feet above his head as he pressed him against the bed and bred him hard. “B-Bojack!” Peanut gasped as he moaned hard from being fucked. His voice rising to a very squeakily tone, making him sound like a woman as Bojack continued to fuck him hard. “Bojack! Bo! Bojack! Ohhh! Bojack!” “What!?” Bojack snapped at the dog as he hilted his dick inside of him. The dog panted and whimpered, as he let out a single word: “H-harder...” Bojack snorted. “Well, I was about to get to it, bitch! Now shut up and let me work!” And that was the end of the small talk during sex. Peanut’s vocalizations were not limited to moaning and howling in pleasure as Bojack raw-dogged him with hard, powerful movements of his hips, sending his dick in and out of Peanut’s golden-furred ass in earnest, in some occasions spearing right into Peanut’s prostate and making him howl even louder. He was panting and moaning as he looked up, seeing Bojack’s face looking down at him. His features twisted in a frown due to pleasure and sweat dripping from his forehead and landing right into the dog’s face. “B-Bojack!” Peanut said, as he looked up at the horse. He lifted a hand, looking like he was looking for placing it on Bojack’s cheek. The horse was faster and shifted positions. They were both now laying on their side on the bed, with Bojack driving his dick in and out of Peanut as he held his leg up. The moans of pleasure on that room became even louder at this point, with Peanut howling like a bitch in heat as Bojack drove his home with the enthusiasm of a sex addict. “That’s it!” Bojack growled. “You enjoy this, don’t you!? You fucking slut! You fucking [i]bitch[/i]! You love my dick in your ass, just like you loved kissing me on live television! You fucking whore! You filthy faggot tramp! I will breed you like the bitch you are! I will fuck you so hard that you won’t be able to sit for days! I will fuck you until I get you pregnant! You will be giving birth to my babies, you fucking bitch! I will make you pregnant, and then you will belong to me! I will make you my bitch! After tonight you will be mine! You hear it, Peanut!? MINE!” With those words, Bojack once mote changed positions. Now Peanut was with his chest and stomach on the bed, with Bojack on top of him, pinning him down as he fucked him hard against the bed. The whole bed creaked under them, and even rocked slightly with how hard the horse was fucking the dog in it. Their hips slapped together, Bojack’s hips colliding with Peanut’s buttocks, and even their ballsacs were firmly colliding with each other with each thrust the horse made. [i]Our balls are touching. Fuck, this is so gay...[/i] Was all that Bojack could bring himself to think as he proceeded to fuck the dog hard, with Peanut still howling loudly in pleasure as he was bred by the horse. He moaned the horse’s name loudly, turning that into a howl as his whole body shivered and convulsed as he came, spilling his load all over the bed and ruining the mattress. His ass clamped hard on Bojack’s dick, causing the horse to snort as he doubled down his fucking of the dog beneath him for several more minutes before, with a mighty neigh, he too came, filling Peanut’s tailhole with his fertile horse seed. They both lasted for a while, before their orgasms subsided, and they were both left where they were, panting and heavying after the most intense orgasm that both having experienced in a long time. Then, as the bliss of afterglow subsided, the famous “post-nut clarity” settled in for them. “Fuck... FUCK!” Bojack said, and Peanut flinched. He rose his head and looked over his shoulder to see the horse behind him. His muscles were tense, and his face was frowning deeply. He seemed so angry... Then, all the tension alleviated from his body as he sighed. The frown was gone from his face, instead replaced by resigned indifference. The type that was like “meh, we fucked, whatever”. He then locked eyes with the dog whose ass his dick was still inside of. “Wanna smoke?” the horse asked, and Peanut could do nothing more than to nod. Soon, the two naked men were laying on the bed, as Bojack pulled tow of those expensive cigars from the box, giving one for Peanut. He lighted one of the cigars on his mouth with a lighter. Peanut thought he was doing the same for his’, but instead Bojack lighted it with the tip of his own burning cigar, putting his own face very close to Peanut’s in the process. The dog blushed as they locked eyes, puffing on the cigar as the embers on Bojack’s own lighted it. From there, they both just laid on the bed while smoking their cigars for several minutes. None of them said anything to the other, and it seemed that they would only remain in silence for the right of the night. Bojack was fine with it. Peanut, however... “Those cigars are really good.” Peanut said, “I don’t usually smoke, but those are really nice. Where did you got them?” “They were a gift.” Bojack said with a “whatever” expression and tone. “Don’t remember who gave to me.” And that was all. The horse seemed not interested in talking anymore. However, Peanut seemed not to like silence after sex. “Do you remember the first time we met?” The dog asked, looking at the horse laying on the bed on his side. “That time when you were visiting the studio when I was making my debut as an actor? How you came and talked to me after seeing me shoot a scene?” Bojack wanted to groan. Why was it so hard for the dog to just shut up!? However, instead of snapping at him to “shut up”, like was his first instinct, Bojack only said: “Not really.” Peanut continued to look at him. “Oh... I see... I mean, it was back on the 90s...” Peanut said, “But, I do remember.” He then said: “You told me that I was a really good actor. That I was talented and that I would make it big if I put my heart and soul to it. And, you were right...” Bojack looked at him. Had he say something like that? That doesn’t sound like him. But then, on the nineties he was still not as much of an asshole as he was today... “I had the impression that you wanted to say something else. Something harsher.” Peanut said, as he and the horse looked at each other. “But... instead you told me something that you thought I needed to hear. It was probably not much, just a dime-a-dozen general advice you give to anyone who has dreams of being an actor, but, coming from a guy like you, who starred one of the most famous shows on Hollywoo, it really meant a lot for a rookie like me.” The dog then shrugged. “So... thank you for being supportive back then. I don’t think I would have ever made it was not for that talk.” Bojack looked at him for a moment, before scoffing. “So, you basically owe your entire career to me.” The horse said, looking again and taking another drag of his cigar and blowing out the smoke. “That does explain why you were always trying to cling to me like you wanted to hump my leg.” Then he chuckled. “How ironic that I was the one who humped your doggy-butt instead.” Peanut looked away too, and he looked a bit down from how dismissive Bojack was. The horse, however, then said: “I did mean it when I said those words.” Peanut looked at him with surprise. “You did have a lot of potential back when you started, and everyone saw it.” Bojack continued. “You became more and more famous, gained more prominent roles while I slowly faded into the background of Hollywoo. I would have fallen completely into obscurity was not for that fucking cheesy sitcom that now seems to be the only thing I will ever be famous for in my life even though I cannot possible watch one of those stupid episodes without cringing. That is one of the reasons why I always acted the way I did with you. I was jealous of you being such a rising star, with one great role and production after the other, while I only had ‘Horse-shitting Around’ on my fucking cap.” “You say as if it was a bad thing.” Peanut said to him. “I loved that show, and your character was my favorite. I cried when he died at the end of the series.” “You and half of the pansies who watched that garbage.” Bojack said, “Now can we just drop this sad attempt at pillow talk?” With this, silence only more reigned on that bedroom. For forty-five seconds. “I really liked it.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” “Seriously, I did...” Peanut said, looking at the horse. “I... I’d like to do it again... if you want to...” Bojack looked at the dog, who was looking at him with those puppy-like eyes. “I’ll get the Viagra.” Bojack said, and he was about to get up from the bed, when Peanut stopped him. “Not right now! I mean... we could... do it again some other time. Maybe one of those nights...” He said, “I mean... I don’t think that me and Jeanne will be having much sex in the future... so...” “So, you want to get your rocks off with me, huh?” Bojack asked, looking at the blushing dog. Then the horse shrugged. “Fine, I’m game.” This caused Peanut to look at him with surprise. “Wait, really?” “Yeah, sure.” Bojack said nonchalantly. “You have a nice mouth and ass. Totally fuckable. And I didn’t have to pay a cent for it. Beats calling a hooker. Yeah, I certainly want to have you as my booty call for when I’m horny. As long as no one knows, of course. Don’t want people to go around saying I’m a fag.” Peanut looked at him in surprise. For a moment, he was speechless. Then, Bojack sat on the bed, and he talked to him. “But make no mistake.” Bojack said looking at him, as Peanut sat on the bed as well. “This does not mean we are dating. Don’t expect me to buy you flowers or pay you dinner or take you to a vacation on LA on first class. This whole ‘relationship’ will basically be you coming to my house whenever I call you, getting on your knees with my dick in your mouth and then lifting your tail for me like a good little faggot. We are not ‘boyfriends’ or ‘lovers’ or any of that crap. If anything, you are my [i]bitch[/i]. And don’t expect it to ever be anything more than that, got it?” Peanut looked at Bojack. For a moment, Bojack was sure that he had just blew everything up, and now Peanut was going to put his clothes and run away from his house in tears and probably never talk to him again. However, Peanut surprised him by nodding and saying that he agreed to those terms, looking down and dejectedly as if the horse had just told him off for chewing on the carpet. “As long as I can be with you again...” Peanut said, still looking down. After a little of stunned silence from Bojack’s part, the horse recovered, and said he was glad they were understood. All the while, still reeling from the dog’s readiness to accept his terms, he thought to himself. [i]It is just sex. Just me using that stupid dog as a sex toy. Nothing more.[/i] [i]It will never be more than this.[/i] [center]******************************************************[/center] It became more than that. Much more. And now, as Bojack thought about it while looking somberly at his own reflection in the mirror, he thought of everything that happened. If he knew it was going to lead to this, he would never have opened the door to that stupid dog. What was supposed to be only Peanut Butter being a booty call, just a furry boytoy for Bojack to use whenever he was horny, ended up turning into him talking to the dog nearly every night after they had sex. Darn that stupid dog for actually shutting his mouth and being such a good listener! Before he knew it, Bojack was spilling things to that dog that he never even thought about telling anyone. He told him about his regrets. About his problems with both his mother and father. About his frustrations with how his career never moved beyond Horsing Around. He told him about Sarah Lynn... And the dog, unlike any other person, heard all of that and stayed. He stayed when most people would have left. He stayed and patted his shoulder when many would have recoiled in disgust. He told him it was okay and even hugged him when others would have told him he was sick and disgusting. The stupid dog made Bojack fall in love with him. From being just fuck buddies, they became lovers. Bojack didn’t even realized that change, until the moment when, as they were sharing an ice cream in a secluded park on the corners of Hollywoo while holding hands, he suddenly realized they were on a date. And, for his own utter astonishment, he didn’t have a single problem with it! And, as it was normal in Hollywoo, their private affairs would eventually become common knowledge. All because Bojack thought it would be a good idea to make out sloppily with Peanut when they were resting on his own pool. One of those darn paparazzi was following one of them (most likely Peanut) and caught a very juicy shot of them swapping spit while wearing those snug speedos he only agreed to wear because Peanut insisted him to as he gave it to him as a gift. “[b]THE CROSSOVER CONTINUES: MR. PEANUTBUTTER IS HORSING AROUND![/b]” Ugh, could they have picked a cornier headline? Soon, their speedo kiss was plastered all over the newspapers and gossip magazines, not to mention the internet. People were going ballistic with the news that America’s favorite good boy, who just ended recently ended his third marriage, was now having a romance with the very same guy with whom his ex-wife cheated on him. The buzz died down, eventually. But not before Bojack, for the first time in years, saw himself at the center of the attention when he never actually did anything wrong. He could hardly get out with the house with the amount of people who were around it. And, of course, he received a lot of calls. Some from people congratulating him for coming out of the closet and being in a healthy relationship with a stand-up guy like Peanut. Others calling him names for having “corrupted the pure Mr. Peanutbutter”. And, of course, one from his mother, which is better not to be discussed... “I am glad we don’t have to do it in secret anymore.” Peanut said to him one day, as they walked down the street while holding hands. He seemed very happy, with the smile on his face and the way his tail wagged behind him. Such a stupid smile. So cute... And now, there he was, three years after that one night they fucked for the first time. Standing in front of a mirror, dressed all in black, ready to go to the church, all because he decided to allow a crying dog to get into his house in the middle of the night. “Bojack?” Said a voice that made the horse look over his shoulder, at the person standing on the door of his bedroom. Diane, much like him, was dressed for the occasion, and she was looking at him with expectantly. “It is time.” She said, and Bojack looked at her for a moment before nodding. One car ride before, and they arrived at the church, where everyone was already waiting. Bojack hated those ceremonies. He would not be here if he had the choice. However, he had to. For Peanut. He owned him that much. He was the one who asked for his hand, after all. “Peanut Alexander Butter...” Said the priest, as the dog wearing a white tuxedo held the hands of the horse on the black one, while the whole chapel looked at them expectantly. “Do you vow to take Bojack Horseman as your lawfully wedded spouse, to cherish and to hold, in sickness and health, in richness and destitution, until death do you apart?” “I do.” Peanut said, without a second of hesitation. “Are you sure?” The priest asked, looking at him. Bojack could only roll his eyes. “Yes.” Peanut said, without a shred of doubt. “Alright...” The priest said, the way he spoke it was nearly as if he wanted to say to Peanut what a big mistake he was making but was holding his tongue out of respect for the dog. “And, you, Bojack Horseman-” “Okay, let me stop you right there.” Bojack said, and the whole chapel tensed at this. “I came all the way here to a chapel on the edge of Hollywoo, facing nearly an hour of traffic to stand before a whole crowd of people while wearing a rented tuxedo that reeks of the sweat of all the men who ever wore it, especially around the crotch. Seriously, you won’t believe how uncomfortable I feel wearing this.” Bojack squirmed, still swearing that he could feel the stickiness of the sweat and maybe even of the cum of the last guy who had a dry-humping session with that same tuxedo on whatever party it was used on. “I wouldn’t be here if I was not going to say yes, believe me.” Bojack said. “So, can we just cut the crap and get this over with so I can suck this dog’s face?” Some people were shocked at his bluntness, even the people who knew Bojack. The priest, on his end, looked at the horse for a moment, before once more turning at Peanut and asking: “Are you [i]really[/i] sure you want to marry him?” Peanut, once more showing to be sure, said that he did. “Then, by the power invested upon me by the state of California, I now declare you Mister and Mister Horseman-Butter! You two may kiss, and God have mercy on your souls!” “Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.” Bojack said, picking the bouquet Peanut was holding and practically shoving it on the priest’s chest and then taking the dog into a kiss. Which was soon becoming so heated that someone had to pull the two of them apart. [center]******************************************************[/center] Then came the after party and, despite the little incident on the chapel, everyone was certainly enjoying the dinner and dance. The two grooms were being congratulated by everyone. Bojack’s mother was... well, she was there, but she did not look on the happy couple’s direction not once during the entire party. Bojack knew she was only there so she could tell people she came. Captain, Peanut’s older brother, was in there with his family, all of them congratulating Peanut for his new marriage, and Cap even told his little brother how he hoped that this one would work. Mrs. Butter, however, was glaring at Bojack as their eyes met. She clearly still remembered the Thanksgiving incident of the previous year when Peanut brought him to their house as a guest. Should Bojack bring it up now? Maybe he should. Maybe this time she would jump on him and start smacking him before her husband could hold her back. Now that would be a scene for the paparazzi to make clicks about. Of course, there were other ways that Bojack could ruin the party and his new marriage right now. Maybe sneak up to the broom closet and make out with one of Peanut’s “groom’s maids”. Or maybe pick slices of their big wedding cake and toss it on everyone’s face? Now that would be a memorable wedding story. Either of them would certainly make Peanut realize the mistake he had made by wanting to ever get involved with a rotten guy like Bojack. “Bo?” Peanut said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You okay, honey?” Fuck, that question was annoying! He heard it so many times on the last three years that he was honestly sick of hearing it! It annoyed him to the point where Bojack forgot everything he had just been thinking of doing as he told to Peanut that “I am okay, hun”, and he just went back to looking at all the happy people on the party while feeling bored. And yet, strangely jubilating. After Peanut’s speech, and of them both feeding each other cake like idiots, Bojack could nearly breathe a sigh of relief. And he made his way out of there with Peanut linking arms with him, the dog’s tail still wagging behind him as he walked out of the party with his new husband. And, as they did, who was looking at them if not Peanut’s ex, wearing that indigo-colored party dress as she watched them go while standing on a small group. “I bet two months.” Said another woman on the group. “That’s about how long Bojack’s last two relationships lasted.” “I bet one.” Said a man. “No way that guy can actually make a marriage work.” “I am with two as well.” Said the other man. Diane, on her end, turned to the group, who were making bets on how long the marriage would actually last, and told them to cut it out. “Seriously?” Said the woman. “Are you seriously wanting those two to be happy after what they both put you through?” “They are my friends.” Diane said, knowing full well how that sounds when one was a husband with whom she had a mostly one-sided marriage, and the other being the guy with whom she slept with once and who basically ghosted her after this. “Besides, I can tell that both really want to make it work. Especially Bojack.” The group reflected on what she said. “Yeah, you are right.” The man said, “I don’t think I ever saw Bojack so invested in a relationship. I think he might actually be willing to put on the works to make it work out...” Then, after a pause, he said: “I change my bet. They won’t be divorcing before six months.” [center]******************************************************[/center] “A new show?” Bojack said as he and Peanut were both on the limo that was leading them back to their home. “What, is it some reality like Peanut Butter & Jelly? Because that was a real fiasco for everyone involved...” “No, it is not a reality.” Peanut said, “It is a sitcom.” Hearing that made Bojack frown, but the dog then told him that it was a tasteful one, with good jokes and good family fun, but also with some adult jokes on the mix. Bojack heard about it, and he was starting to ease into the idea, as it did not seem to bad. “And they want both of us on this new show?” “Yeah.” Peanut said to him. “We will be two of them main characters. You will be this old bachelor horse who lives alone in a mansion, and I will be this guy who convinces you to marry him so it will be easier for me to adopt those three orphans I know.” Bojack paused as he heard that. Bachelor horse? Three orphans? “What show is it?” Bojack asked. “Well, it is a show about family, more than anything.” Peanut said. “it is really nice! It is about how you don’t have to be related by blood to be a family and-” “Peanut, you know I hate it when you dance around my questions!” Bojack said to the dog. “What. Show. Is it?” Peanut looked at Bojack’s face for a while, before he finally said: “Is an LGBTQ+ reboot of Horsing Around.” There was silence in between the two of them. The kind of unnerving silence that usually persisted when Bojack was trying to keep himself from doing or saying anything he would regret later. “I will tell them we are not interested.” Peanut said, and he was already reaching for his phone, when Bojack said: “Will you be there as well?” Peanut looked at him, and then said that he would, since they wanted the two of them, specifically, to make this show. “Then I will do it.” Bojack said, shocking the dog. “It will be tolerable if you are there. If I get too pissed at anything, I can just drag your tail to our dressing room and fuck your brains out until I’m feeling better.” Peanut looked at him. Once more, he was not sure if the horse was being serious or just pulling his leg. However, Bojack did looked serious when Bojack told him that he could call Princess Caroline and tell her that they would be doing it. “Now, let’s not talk about this tonight.” Bojack said, “It is our honeymoon, and I want to drag your tail back to our bedroom and fuck it raw. And then keep doing it every night for the rest of our lives.” Peanut looked at Bojack. To most people, something like that could sound wrong. However, after three years in a relationship with Bojack, Peanut now knew that this was Bojack’s own way of telling him that he intended to stay with him forever. And this was enough for Peanut to lean over to him, resting his head on his shoulder as he said: “I love you, Bojack.” After nearly a minute of silence, Peanut was surprised when Bojack said: “I love you too, Peanut Horseman-fucking-Butter...”