{"submission_id":"735786","keywords":[{"keyword_id":"33","keyword_name":"fox","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"135384"},{"keyword_id":"15205","keyword_name":"funeral","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"76"},{"keyword_id":"165","keyword_name":"male","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"639873"},{"keyword_id":"1507","keyword_name":"sad","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"3141"},{"keyword_id":"1508","keyword_name":"sadness","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"973"}],"hidden":"f","scraps":"f","favorite":"f","favorites_count":"0","create_datetime":"2014-11-22 22:13:23.730468+01","create_datetime_usertime":"22 Nov 2014 22:13 CET","last_file_update_datetime":"2014-11-22 21:38:37.342201+01","last_file_update_datetime_usertime":"22 Nov 2014 21:38 CET","username":"Peregrinex","user_id":"163982","user_icon_file_name":null,"user_icon_url_large":null,"user_icon_url_medium":null,"user_icon_url_small":null,"file_name":"990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","file_url_full":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/full/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","file_url_screen":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","file_url_preview":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","thumbnail_url_large_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you_noncustom.jpg","thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you_noncustom.jpg","thumb_medium_noncustom_x":"120","thumb_medium_noncustom_y":"91","thumb_large_noncustom_x":"200","thumb_large_noncustom_y":"152","thumb_huge_noncustom_x":"300","thumb_huge_noncustom_y":"228","files":[{"file_id":"990626","file_name":"990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","file_url_full":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/full/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","file_url_screen":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","file_url_preview":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","mimetype":"image/jpeg","submission_id":"735786","user_id":"163982","submission_file_order":"0","full_size_x":"4096","full_size_y":"3112","screen_size_x":"920","screen_size_y":"699","preview_size_x":"300","preview_size_y":"228","initial_file_md5":"306843e3db53ac46d6007b7b17b56822","full_file_md5":"a98f1e11e0a89b911cfb7c460884fc74","large_file_md5":"b805c8f5e9a99789217e5a508916ecef","small_file_md5":"0dbb25d10c756dd8a6d6c45cd5bae9ff","thumbnail_md5":"1dec13d41a807e1d82a986903a237072","deleted":"f","create_datetime":"2014-11-22 21:38:37.342201+01","create_datetime_usertime":"22 Nov 2014 21:38 CET","thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you.jpg","thumbnail_url_large_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you_noncustom.jpg","thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/990/990626_Peregrinex_leaving_you_noncustom.jpg","thumb_medium_noncustom_x":"120","thumb_medium_noncustom_y":"91","thumb_large_noncustom_x":"200","thumb_large_noncustom_y":"152","thumb_huge_noncustom_x":"300","thumb_huge_noncustom_y":"228"}],"pools":[],"description":"I know, the picture is terrible, but all I want you to do is read this part.\n\nSo today, I went to my great aunt's funeral. She died a few days ago. It was a sad day for me, obviously, but my aunt's funeral per se wasn't what was bothering me. \n\nBack on October 10th, 2009, my mother died herself. I was devastated. She was only 40 when she died of breast cancer (which she had for quite some time), something that has been running in the family. All I had left was my father, and my one little brother. \n\nI remember being woken up that dreadful Saturday morning by my father.\n\nHe said \"Come say goodbye to your mother.\"\n\nI got up and walked into the master bedroom, where she was. She had opted that if she were to die, it would have to be in her own home, on her own bed. We said goodbye to her, and went downstairs to wait.\n\nEveryone was silent.\n\nThen, about 15 minutes later, the nurse, whom had been there treating my mother, came halfway down the stairs, and said \"She's passed.\"\n\nThen, there came the funeral. Everyone was there, from my family to all her friends, and I gotta say, she had a LOT of friends; she was a very nice and outgoing woman. I explicitly remember my uncle speaking next to the coffin, and my other great aunt crying next to me, wiping her tears off her face.\n\nAnd then, the burial. We had gone in limousine to the cemetery, and watched as we all got to do our part in burying the coffin. Then, something unexpected: a girl in my class, who was really annoying and a little mean, had come to the burial.\n\nShe said \"I'm sorry....\"\n\nFrom then on, I had infinite respect for her.\n\nMy life came crashing down afterwards. First, the depression: I was sobbing at school for the rest of the school year, and it didn't get any better after that. I started to get thoughts in my head, saying I should kill myself, and you know what. I believed them.\n\nIt wasn't until a year and a half later until I started acting on it. I had moved to Milan, Italy, because my father was and is Department of Defense. I absolutely, positively, HATED IT there. First off, it was overcast/rainy about 75% of the time there, it's the most polluted city in Europe, and to top that all off, from the stress and anxiety from being there, I got diagnosed with PNES (Pseudo Non-Epileptic Seizures). For me, it was a living hell. Nine months into our two year term there, I sent an email to my best friend back in the States, saying I wanted to kill myself.\n\nWe were back in the US within a week.\n\nBut it wasn't all happy ever after, oh no. Things got even worse.\n\nI went to a special hospital for anger and depression, half a day, every weekday. It helped a little, but not enough. Unfortunately, I was back there within a year, and this time, I was there all day, every day. I eventually got out, feeling better, but, as usual, that didn't last long. A year later, there I was, again, in the same hospital, for the same reason. Then after I got out of that, I went straight to a residential treatment facility, where I stayed for a whopping seven months straight. That helped a lot.\n\nFast forward to today. I still have depression, but it's not as bad as it was. I'm going to an alternative school, and see a therapist once a week. I'm still not completely better, but at least I'm not hurting myself anymore.\n\nSo, I'll leave you with that quote from the title, from a My Chemical Romance song:\n\n\"'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you...\n'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you....\"\n\nRIP: Agnes L. Mumford, 1922-2014\n\nRIP: Lisa S. Frey, 1968-2009\n\nYou will both be missed.\n\n\nIf you have something nice to say down below, please say it. I need some comfort right now...","description_bbcode_parsed":"I know, the picture is terrible, but all I want you to do is read this part.
So today, I went to my great aunt's funeral. She died a few days ago. It was a sad day for me, obviously, but my aunt's funeral per se wasn't what was bothering me.
Back on October 10th, 2009, my mother died herself. I was devastated. She was only 40 when she died of breast cancer (which she had for quite some time), something that has been running in the family. All I had left was my father, and my one little brother.
I remember being woken up that dreadful Saturday morning by my father.
He said "Come say goodbye to your mother."
I got up and walked into the master bedroom, where she was. She had opted that if she were to die, it would have to be in her own home, on her own bed. We said goodbye to her, and went downstairs to wait.
Everyone was silent.
Then, about 15 minutes later, the nurse, whom had been there treating my mother, came halfway down the stairs, and said "She's passed."
Then, there came the funeral. Everyone was there, from my family to all her friends, and I gotta say, she had a LOT of friends; she was a very nice and outgoing woman. I explicitly remember my uncle speaking next to the coffin, and my other great aunt crying next to me, wiping her tears off her face.
And then, the burial. We had gone in limousine to the cemetery, and watched as we all got to do our part in burying the coffin. Then, something unexpected: a girl in my class, who was really annoying and a little mean, had come to the burial.
She said "I'm sorry...."
From then on, I had infinite respect for her.
My life came crashing down afterwards. First, the depression: I was sobbing at school for the rest of the school year, and it didn't get any better after that. I started to get thoughts in my head, saying I should kill myself, and you know what. I believed them.
It wasn't until a year and a half later until I started acting on it. I had moved to Milan, Italy, because my father was and is Department of Defense. I absolutely, positively, HATED IT there. First off, it was overcast/rainy about 75% of the time there, it's the most polluted city in Europe, and to top that all off, from the stress and anxiety from being there, I got diagnosed with PNES (Pseudo Non-Epileptic Seizures). For me, it was a living hell. Nine months into our two year term there, I sent an email to my best friend back in the States, saying I wanted to kill myself.
We were back in the US within a week.
But it wasn't all happy ever after, oh no. Things got even worse.
I went to a special hospital for anger and depression, half a day, every weekday. It helped a little, but not enough. Unfortunately, I was back there within a year, and this time, I was there all day, every day. I eventually got out, feeling better, but, as usual, that didn't last long. A year later, there I was, again, in the same hospital, for the same reason. Then after I got out of that, I went straight to a residential treatment facility, where I stayed for a whopping seven months straight. That helped a lot.
Fast forward to today. I still have depression, but it's not as bad as it was. I'm going to an alternative school, and see a therapist once a week. I'm still not completely better, but at least I'm not hurting myself anymore.
So, I'll leave you with that quote from the title, from a My Chemical Romance song:
"'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you...
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you...."
RIP: Agnes L. Mumford, 1922-2014
RIP: Lisa S. Frey, 1968-2009
You will both be missed.
If you have something nice to say down below, please say it. I need some comfort right now...","writing":"","writing_bbcode_parsed":"","pools_count":0,"title":"'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you... [READ!]","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"image/jpeg","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"0","rating_name":"General","ratings":[],"submission_type_id":"2","type_name":"Sketch","guest_block":"f","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"1","views":"8","sales_description":null,"forsale":"f","digitalsales":"f","printsales":"f","digital_price":""}