Final chapter, I'll save comments for the end.
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De-Programmed
Part 10
Part 10
\tLiana awoke to silence, at least as close to silence as she had known. She came from the effluvial numbness beyond slumber to the harsh reality she had grown accustomed to. Curled up in sheets with nary a true covering to hide the invasive designs of the lingerie she had been forced to wear. Her mouth tasted bitter, and her body felt disgusting. She squeezed the sheets, wrapping them around her as her body tensed. She wanted to bathe, to cleanse herself, but it would at best be a formality.
\tA hollowness rang in her chest, she had reached out to appease her ego for but a moment. Now she lay as remains, coiled in layers of thin fabric that only acted as tepid insulation against the pain. She was used, she allowed herself to be used. Surrendered not with a plan, no subversion was intended, she just gave in to assuage the fear, the terror.
\tA night of sobbing to sleep yielded a morning of self-loathing, and regret. She was so sure she would die for her principles and then when presented with the terror she folded so easily before it. Was she a person, Or an animal? She couldn’t face herself, so she just lay alone, slowly feeling the cold seep through the fabric to her. She stayed like this, time passed, she remained slowly curling up further and further while fading between torpor and bitter awareness.
\tHer somber reflections disturbed by the terrors of thumping above, already as small as she could become she simply hid beneath her covers like a child as it grew closer. Flinching as the door opened followed by the sound of jingling keys, footsteps and a thump of something heavy being placed down. She didn’t look, she couldn’t. What now? What today? What torture would be unleashed.
She waited, trembling in tension with each sound that filled the concrete chamber: The clinking of metal, shuffling of feet, scrapping of plastic, stretching of leather. She tensed further with each sound till it felt like her body was about to snap like a rubber band pulled past its limit. Till finally the sounds stilled. She took deep breaths, in and out. The terror subsided leaving only a stinging pit in her chest as she relaxed her body. There was, realistically no escape, and she was not holding together. It was just another day, but another out of how many? How many more could she take?
\tShe wondered if there was a point to it. She looked inward, asking again, moving deeper and deeper. Was there a reason to be what she wanted to be? In the face of such cruelty, of such consequence. Why be anything that would get her hurt? It was a formless answer, at least at first. A stir of passionate desire to be. She breathed in this sensation, letting the heat fill her lungs. It wasn’t fury, but it wasn’t joy either. She held this breath, this sensation. It didn’t Gritting her teeth, Liana opened her eyes, letting the morning light fill her vision.
\tThe cell was as it ever was, cold, dour, austere. Concrete against once side adorned with all the trappings she had come to expect. She shuddered as the thought stabbed through her, this place was becoming familiar in a way she hated. Like a hell of a home. She opened her dry mouth feeling the need for water. The base instinct’s in conflict between a desire to be so small that she might avoid her tormentor's attention, and the body’s need to sustain itself. Eventually she sided with the need to drink.
A deep breath allowed her to fill her body with the energy necessary to combat the anxious tension which had coaxed her torpid mind into placidity. Tensing her teeth she sat up in the knotted sheets, still unable to turn to face him and his machinations behind her, and moved to the sink. If he noticed her activity he made no mention or movement against her. Simply continuing with a mysterious task, making another intimate violation of her very being to further break her barely functioning ego. Another deep breath, she could do this.
She didn’t want to get up, but she didn’t want to simply let the fear rule her. She was so tired from the tension, the anxiety pulling every muscle taut, stretching her. She turned the sink on and began to palm water for a drink. Something that seemed to finally catch her captor's attention.
\t“Would you prefer breakfast before we begin? I have prepared some but was unsure if you would be in a mind to partake.” Of course she flinched at his speech, a voice devoid of humanity scraping against her. Today was awful, she was not just tired but mentally muted by the narcotic cocktail. It was hard to think as it was and his voice, his presence only made every step, every breath harder.
\t“I.. I woul.. Yes. Yes Sir.” With some prodding her mind started to pick up its pace. Heaving herself from the muck to attune a rhythm that would allow for conscious thought. Her conscious crawling through the grasping tar of shame and loathing toward functionality. It took a moment, enough time that the sound of something against the bars seemed to snap her from her meditations. Jumping slightly still, she turned to the cell door to see a tupperware of cheese, eggs and ham along with hashbrowns next to a pair of red plastic cups just on the other side. As she turned to look at the rest of the room he held out his hand.
\t“Put this on.” It was seemingly a piece of padded cloth with an elastic blindfold. She reached for it hesitantly.
\t“Si… Sir?” He nodded as she grasped it for a moment, simply holding it.
\t“Today’s exercise starts with you putting this. Today’s task is nothing like yesterday, it’s a simple one that will have very little sexual or physical activity. However you will wear this.” He pointed to it again as he stood at the gate. Feeding her from here instead of the bed was strange and he seemed to not want to look out of the cage past her peripheral vision. She realized she didn’t want to either. After a moment she sighed, pulling it up to her face holding for a moment as she plunged herself into darkness. After securing it to her head there was a moment of silence before the smell of cheese and meat became intense.
\t“Open.” The intensity of his voice still scared her as again it was a momentary fight against her instincts to obey. Eventually she opened for a moment to find him proffer a spoonful of the breakfast mixture to her. She was surprised to find that she was hungry as well as thirsty beneath all her other emotions. Yet she gladly accepted the offering, as well as a drink, which surprised her at first as it seemed to be orange juice. Beneath all the other sensations there was a moment of delight at the surprise of something more flavorful on offer. It faded as the meal continued till eventually she found herself standing there waiting for more and none came.
\t“Now, stay still.” She heard the familiar tone of jingling keys as the door unlocked. She felt a desire to step back as the door opened. The disgust overruled by the fear, she froze for a moment as he reached for her hands, he clasped them to the sides of her waist using anchor points on her attire. Then moved to unlatch her collar from the chain. She was… confused for a moment till he attached a leash to the collar and started to lead her out into the room. Unable to reach her head any longer with her wrists restrained to her waist she hesitantly followed in darkness with slow probing steps. He seemed patient as they walked the floor of the room till he grabbed her shoulders and positioned her deliberately, then pressed against her.
\t“Lean back, and sit.” A moment of hesitation as she froze against his touch. Finally feeling something against the back of her thighs. She leaned into it the plush sensation finding the seat very comfortable. While slightly chilly against her bare fur it was at least more pleasant than she was expecting from her captors' regular austerity. At least until he followed through, unlatching her arms one at a time, and then placing them into restraints along her wrists and even her forearms. Her legs came after, followed by something that latched her collar into the chair before tightening. Making moving her head around all that more difficult. It continued to latch to her waistband and had another band over her thighs holding her legs in place, ever so slightly apart. By the end of it any significant motion was beyond her capacity to attempt. She could barely even turn her head.
Despite the comfort she still probed in blindness against the restraints. Finding it was also remarkably sturdy as there was no perceptible give to it. A subtle mist of anxiety creeped along the edges of her blindness as she sunk into the chair. All the restraints around her holding her in plush confines was like a devil's bargain. He never seemed to invest in her comfort in the past, unless… it foreshadowed dubious intent.
\t“I would hope it is comfortable as this may take a while. I would hope you appreciate having company in your blindness. Though I am sure you are fully capable of sitting in recusant silence in some way to radiate spite.” He began to place something upon her head, causing her to flinch.
“Hold still.” His monotone command grasped her, her lurking anxiety ringing to a short heartbeat of terror. She sat, still, obedient as he seemed to put something cold, and metallic on her head. A crown? A tiara? What was this? For a moment she was concerned till she felt cords tickle her ears. Electricity? Was he going to shock her head? She felt cold material, metal or plastic against her temples.
\t“W-what.. What is this? S-s.. sir?” The nervous tension of envisioning some archaic neural shocks like from asylum horror stories being used on her now.
“A new exercise, of which, as long as you remain on task there will be no pain. Part of the task is communication. I want to gauge some elements of our interactions of interest to me. So you are required to interact. Your question is appreciated as it helps begin the process. To continue, how are you today compared to yesterday?” Small talk, far from the worst she could be subject to. Yet she was not looking forward to it. Even as meek of a creature as she had become to stymie her caustic instinct would be troublesome She would have to carefully navigate her instincts to not transgress. Though today she did feel slightly less mentally numb, was she getting used to the drugs?
\t“I… well… I t-think that today is not as bad as most days… s-sir.” There was an unspoken tension. She felt like it was more than simply walking a tightrope, there was more. As though there was some barrier, some line she was about to cross. Her instincts telling her something was off as she heard the distinct clatter of fingers on a keyboard near her.
\t“That is actually ideal. Considering what you have been through I would say it is impressive you retain such a demeanor. Another reason for which I chose you.” A prod, already, against her smoldering ego. She tensed, restraining the vitriolic lash of her casual repartee. It slowed her response as she seemed to seek the next appropriate step.
\t“Ah… thank you sir? I do suppose things c-could be w-w-worse.” Soft enough, she hoped.
\t“Hrmmm… Perhaps, idealistic. We will have to see how you feel about what is to come.” a few more rapid clacks of a plastic keyboard. Followed by nothing. Was he taking notes? Was this some kind of… test?
\t“What? What is this sir?” Liana felt the curious tension within her. Cords of anxious desire plucking at the edges of her focus as she tossed through possible iterations of events. Her imagination rapidly outpacing her composure with more and more dire possibilities of events faster than she could counteract them. It seemed he noticed.
\t“Hrm… I suppose you could see. You seem to be panicking over the enigmatic nature of these events.” There was a moment of silence as he paused. She couldn’t even hear him, in the stillness she started to hear subtle noises like the whirr of computer fans, or the soft humm of electricity. What was happening?
\t“Do you really want to know?” She shivered as the phrase seemed to saturate her with an eerie malice. She couldn’t tell if her unease had distorted her perceptions or if he really let such an emotional tone slip out. A frigid sensation coiled around her heart, stinging with the short breaths as she considered. Was it worth knowing what was going to happen?
\t“Y-ye… yes. I-I w-want to know. Sir.” She couldn’t contain her emotions at all anymore. Like a child she was reduced to something so shallow compared to what she was. She was starting to hate herself as much as her captor. So much less than what she was she couldn’t even escape the shadow of her former self, let alone look to it for inspiration. She most likely couldn’t handle whatever he had in store for her, but the ignorance of it was far worse as her terror conjured truly terrible visions.
\t“Fair enough, I won’t deny such an earnest request.” She felt his hands against her head as he reached for the tie of the blindfold and began to undo it. She shifted uncomfortably in her binds, unable to relax as the building tension came over her, till finally she felt it fall from her face, yet she still held her eyes shut.
\tShe took a breath as he seemed to simply set it aside and continue to work on his computer. Slowly she let one eye crack open to find the room simply unadorned with any new tools of torment. At least until she looked down, she found the movement range of her head was restricted slightly, as something had been placed on it. Yet she could move enough to perceive the binds she was in. It was no worse or better than what she had first imagined before her trauma’s creative potential filled the silence with torment.
\tOf course, it couldn’t be simple. Her captor didn’t do simple, at least not so simple. Why the computer, and what was on her head. She tried turning more one direction or another to get a look at it but could only gain glimpses of a kind of circlet. She could feel the sensation of a part of it dragging over her scalp as she moved from side to side.
\tIt was not obvious what it was, she needed to look a bit more but she couldn’t move her head, at least not much. The tension in the binding was almost excessive, more than she was used to as though it was specifically for reducing her capability of movement as much as possible without causing harm. She tilted her eyes down trying to see over her cheeks down past her breasts. Nothing, she could not see or feel anything aside from the bindings and the object on her head.
No clamps on her breasts, no vibrators or other toys. There weren’t even any presents in the half of the room she could see. While it was entirely possible he had put objects just outside her field of vision or had taken the time to hide somewhere it seemed to not match up. With how little time he would have had since blinding her, to putting her in the chair, then immediately to the computer. Unless he went to the extent of faking the sounds of his movement and fingers on the keyboard with a recording then there was no real time for him to purposely hide anything outside her vision.
Which left her to consider… no sexual stimulation? What could that mean? The last time he neglected to torment her with tools of sensual bliss was the day after… the day after he destroyed her.
\tShuddering as she brushed the subject of memory, she shied away to the topic at hand trying to discern the logic of the situation. The little she could move her head before the friction restricted any further action still confirmed the presence of the cords against her scalp, but also a sensation of weight around her temples. Something was around her head, on points that were not known to produce intense sensations of anything aside from touch and of course pain.
\tIt all seemed reminiscent of something that eluded her. A phantom of a tale like old mythology or science which seemed either arcane, proven nonsense, or fantasy. Yet she knew very little about such things honestly, and it didn’t seem like something he wouldn’t do necessarily. The shock collar being used to elicit appropriate behavior was a sign of that as it was. This could be the next step. Yet.. could there be a punishment for guessing? Or guessing incorrectly? As long as she stayed in the rules there should not be based on the history of his tortures. She may however just lack context of this new game he was playing.
\tHer body was mostly unmolested, he was very cordial with her. There was something to this. An air of intent behind this… she wanted a hint. Perhaps she would be more willing to dive into conjecture had she not had the subtle disruption of narcotics in her system that tickled the edges of her thoughts.
\tThe subtle clattering of fingers against the keyboard tugged her focus back to reality and her captor… perhaps she could pry an answer from him?
\t“Could you perhaps explain… s-sir?” Her anxious downward spiral of thought made selecting just one possibility seem impossible as her mind kept conjuring more and more terrible events from every subtle omen.
\t“No. Even as debilitated as you might be I am fairly certain you could discern the potential purpose of my actions. It shouldn’t take long.” A bitter rebuttal which barely conjured a glance from him. His attention focused on the task he had on his laptop. A rising anxiety began to thrumm from the depths. She took a breath, gritting her teeth for a moment before simply biting her lip to attain composure, a focus. Anchoring herself through the mental fog she tried to conjure a reasonable thesis. What could this be?
\tShe was again, lacking any sexually stimulating or humiliating alterations or toys she could see, hear, or feel. This made it apparent that whatever was occurring was not necessarily sexual in nature. This was a bit alien for his regular daily task that was used to erode her spirit, yet not entirely dissimilar. While nothing visibly sexual had been done to her, she was not necessarily in a modest position. Legs spread enough to see but not enough for any pernicious acts. Body bound in several positions, more than normal, not the tightest bonds he had ever applied but certainly durable, reinforced perhaps from what she could see on her arms in her peripherals.
\tWhat event could be occurring that would require her to be held in such a way. Bound in a way that was more to limit movement than to promote other behavior. It was not painful like other times, but was more restrictive than most. The outlier was the headpiece. He was so focused on it, whatever it was it had cables. Cables she assumed went back over her scalp as she could feel them. Then up into his laptop on the wheeled utility cart that it seemed to be set up on with a variety of other electrical equipment. Still it was hard without moving her head to see any more, which was not impossible but very difficult to shift around.
\tWhatever it did was sensitive to movement, that was common for things that are taking in information. It was too small for something like an MRI… unless she was way off base. Still based on where it was located could likely be some form of nerve reading, or taking in some data. Nerves, electricity… scanning, on her head.. The brain. It had to relate to the brain. Setting aside what seemed impossible. It could be some device made to interpret information based on sensory information? At least best guess. His attention on the computer really showed that he was receiving information, at least receiving something from the task. The restraints seemed excessive but it is possible that excessive movement would render the process inconclusive. Not that she would want to, as an obnoxious rebellion could produce a very brutal punishment if he went to this much effort. It was to such an extent that even her tail, which she was more absent minded of till she really focused, was also restrained to the chair. Something she could easily tell had never been a physical threat to him. This had to be to protect some element of the process he was committing.
\tPerhaps it is simply setting up a baseline, then off of that he will apply stimulus and then use the gathered data to make a profile which he could use to predict behavior? It seemed the most plausible at the moment. Very empirical approach to what could vaguely be considered social interaction. The concept also fits his already existing analysis.
\t“Is… sir. Are you trying to uhh… measure my um.. responses. To something you are doing or-or going to do?” There was a pause for a moment as he raised his brow turning his eyes to her.
\t“A measured, and well thought out concept.. However, that is only a segment of the process. Ultimately I never wished to resort to this but you have proven to be too volatile as you vacillate between tepid or passionate extremes. So I have decided upon a different direction.” A sudden crack in her composure as the shelved thoughts rumbled within.
\t“Wh.. what?” The taut muscles of anxiety went slack from the sudden shock as she parsed the statement. Dumbfounded at the response as it hung in the air with her captor simply resuming work on the computer.
\t“I… sir… What do y-you mean?” Her heart started to race, as she went through possible implications of his statement. While she desired for him to somehow be joking, some kind of cruel prank instead of a potential reality she had found herself thrust into. In all her interactions with him, she hadn’t really known him to willfully lie, at least not to such an extent.
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\tThis was it, the point when he had to plant the seed. He couldn’t be too direct as it would sully the readings and potentially make any future attempts impossible. But if he could plant an idea that would cause her to be in a state that would be a functional default. All this work would pay off. He took a moment to consider how to broach this carefully.
\t“I mean, that this device that you have been put in will rectify your negative behavior. There is no point in explaining how it does it as it would take hours to simplify and years to express the effects in detail. All you need to know is that the elements of your personality that I find detrimental will be either limited or purged entirely. You will be a servile companion after this procedure.” He turned to finish his task with a minor flourish. Feeling as though he was appropriately threading the lines of plausibility and fiction as it was not exactly what the device did. However KNOWING what it did before an initial reading could be processed would render it useless. If he could obtain a baseline, it wouldn’t matter if she figured it out later.
\t“Thus solving both our problems. You will no longer have to be with someone you detest, and I won’t have to deal with your protests. It was perhaps idealistic to imagine I could train such an ideal specimen to fit my personal criteria. I will have to settle for this I suppose.”
\tHopefully he placed an appropriate amount of intensity despite his lack of emotional depth. There was a benefit that he was not laden with some anxiety over what to do, nor that she could possibly perceive any at least at the dosage his psychiatrist had mandated. Still if she didn’t believe it… it would be problematic.
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\tLiana was cold as the shock set in, her eyes stretched wide in abject terror at what he was saying. It was insane, impossible, if it existed how did he have it? He… he must be lying to get something out of her. How could he have it?
She desperately scanned his visage for any hint of deception. His face retained the constant emotional placidity that she had only seen him break once. She began to tremble uncontrollably as the implication set in.
\t“Y-You’re going to erase me?” her timbre was stretched to the point of cracking as the chilling sensation began worming its way up from her gut. A cold terror began to pry her from her pedestal as she faced what could possibly be her death, being replaced.
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\tA permissible outcome. Imprecise enough of an idea of what it did to perhaps put her in a state of mind that would be conducive for the process. It was forming in his mind, a method of promoting this idea in order to put her in a mental state that would be nearly perfect for the device's purpose. Once he had a functional control state, he could have it alter the appropriate neural pathways. Just a bit more pressure.
\t“A potential perception of the outcome could be that yes. You will be what I wanted you to be, sadly with less of the edges that I think makes you interesting. However it is evident that without this we are incompatible, and I can’t exactly maintain this game forever with no mistakes. As you have already made clear before.”
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\tHer mouth went dry as the tears welled up in her eyes. His voice still carrying the stoic ennui, eyes empty of all humanity. He was going to destroy her. Sobs came as she collapsed from the pillar of her sanity to that of a pleading child.
\t“N-nNooooo! Please! Noooo! I’m Sorry! I’ll be good! PLEASE!!’ She began to struggle in her seat as a new warm sensation started to coat her scalp. A subtle sensation that stretched from physical to abstract, yet… She wasn’t sure if it was real or not. It felt like her mind was beginning to change. She wanted to run away from it, to scream, beg for her life… so she did.
\t“Ss–siiiiirr! Please! I.,.. I can…” He visibly cringed holding up his hand causing her to stop for a moment.
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\tHer shrill scream clawed into his ears so deeply he winced. He thought that her screams to live were stretching the limits of her vocal capacity. Yet these weeks of quiet healing had seemingly induced a new octave of ear splitting agony.
\t“I never knew you could scream so loud. Your silence, or as close as you can get to it is appreciated. I haven’t even started yet.” He was after all, simply trying to ply her for a mental state that would be induced at his whim. She seemed to be earnest in her pleas but a bit too hysterical.
\t“It’s good to see that you can take instruction when appropriately motivated.” It wasn’t what he was looking for… it might be a good state to pocket for later. It could be useful to induce such hysteria if he needed to.
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\tShe sniffled, taking breaths between sobs as he spoke as he again typed something into the computer next to her. She merely sat dumbfounded.
\t“S-so… you aren’t g-g-going to sir? A-am I good enough?” He sighed as he finished looking at something on the computer looking between the computer and her.
\t“That depends. Are you going to do what I say? Is anything I could subject you to better than the alternative of erasure? Do you think you can compete with it? Look at me.”
His austere expression sharpened as he turned to her, at least she imagined it did. Seeing a stoic analysis of her person. His eyes still caused her heart to bristle with terror when she shared in his gaze. Echoes of malice burned at her perceptions yet were unable to sway her supplicant desire to obey. The idea of herself being stripped away, her body puppeted by soulless programming that this bitter madman had cultivated in his austere isolation like a villain from some horror story weighed on her more than her trauma. Tears welled in her eyes as her vision blurred, yet she still shuddered while trying to hold onto her hope of survival which was all she had left now.
\tIt dragged on for what seemed forever while her acute senses seemed pulled to the point of snapping. Finally ending as another clack of a key on his keyboard made her blink, flinching against like the wounded animal she was.
\t“Impressive, you have improved significantly under such duress.” He looked back to the laptop screen.
\t“It seems that I was correct, however.” A few more taps on keys as she blinked away the tears and tried to control her breathing past the sobs. She had completely stopped breathing when focused on looking at his eyes, into the stygian wells that had haunted her day and night for weeks now. Empty of life… she wondered what her eyes looked like to him.
\t“C-c-can… can I stay sir?” She sniffed as her nose seemed to dribble slightly. Pathetic, she knew it, but it was the best she could do. She wasn’t a warrior, nor some stoic goddess. She was just a person, and she wanted to live even in this state. At least she wanted to know that some perverse homunculus would not steal her body and waltz about in service to her captor like a servile maiden while she was consigned to oblivion. He seemed absorbed in his work, at least enough to not have heard her. She hesitated disturbing him.
\t“W-w-was t-that go-good enough s-s-sir?” Still not seemingly not visibly garner any attention.
\t“You.. y-you don’t w-want to do this? You s-said you… you w-wished you could keep M-ME around sir. I… I can still do-do that. You.. you couldn’t have t-th-that… if you got ri-rid of m-m-me ssir… I’ll d-d-do anything sir. P-Please… you… you don’t have to?” The cold sweat over her body started to make her extremities go numb. She kept unconsciously gritting her teeth between words. She couldn’t even focus on stable breathing as she stammered or sobbed her way through words.
\tHe stilled, looking to her for a moment with a genuine interest.. Reaching across to press a combination of keys he stilled. Silently he closed his eyes as the tension in his body evaporated, the looseness to his presence was the most emotive she had ever seen him aside from the night he lost control. His face was as placid as ever yet… the intensity had diminished.
\t“S..Sir?” Liana was not soothed by his example however, her captor having such a diffused posture caused an acute discomfort. Less a stillness more of a void that insinuated the coming of something… something sinister.
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\tPerfect. That was perfect. Or as close to it as he could attain with the state she was in. If he was perfectly honest with himself there could have been more effective mental states to utilize but after the unfortunate incident that occurred after her attempted escape… This was the best he could hope for.
He barely felt it, but there was certainly a perceptible quiver to his motions. A subtle tremble of excitement and tension as his planning and action had led to this penultimate event. The capture, and analysis of a mental state that would assure he would never be alone again. To be able to retain her faculties, even her biting wit, but with a failsafe to combat her more egregious transgressions and keep her resistance from exceeding a level he could tolerate. Decades of planning, years of prototyping, months of testing… and to think that the department of corrections was going to bury this project just as his team was going to finish.
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\t“I think that is enough Liana. I have enough…” he turned to her, the fringes of his expression curled in her blurred vision to that of some foggy smile. She didn’t know if it was her mind, the teary eyes, or if he really smiled at her. Yet it caused the pit in her stomach to rise to her throat. As she took in a deep sobbing gasp of terror.
\t“Now we see if it works.” His hand moved with finality as he moved to press a key, just one finger, his index finger, gloved in his plaster white fur reaching for something. She knew this was the end as the wailing came out and she disintegrated. Fear crushed her, letting the lungs empty in a scalding cacophony that, in his moment of victory, seemed to barely annoy him.
\t“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! PLEEEAAASSSEE!!!” He stared, distant, removed from the chaos he unleashed as the electrical impulses inside her shifted. Before there was warmth along her brow, it was the perceptive fear of annihilation brushing against her. This, however, was it.
Screaming railed against her throat tearing at the healing chords and bruised flesh. Her body was alien to her as every element of it sought escape from the presence she felt reaching in. Arms straining in defiance against their bonds, legs tensing as they wrestled to kick free. Her head wrestling to snap whatever held it down or itself to escape the sensation.
\tA sensation of warmth whispered in her mind, from the back to the front it slithered with the presence of mercury. She struggled to merely turn her head from side to side a few degrees in desperate attempts to do anything to halt the process. Animalistic fury wreathed in adrenal terror scrambled against the invasive sensasion, turning the focus of her consciousness inward she set the spotlight on the presence trying to will it away. Curling her fists as her roar of terror was that of defiance against the inevitable night. As the presence reached over her whole skull she felt like passing out for but a moment till. All the blood rushed to her head as her blurred vision sparkled and her head went light.
\tIt was strange, like a head rush, the moments after as sound and feeling faded back into the mind of a mortal that felt lost in their own body. Momentarily a moron from blood not reaching her whole brain. She blinked a few times with the lackadaisical confusion of someone waking up from a coma.
\t“Are you alright?” The words reached out like coming from a distant gulf for a moment. Till she started to fall back into her skin. She could see, hear, and feel; most all of her senses were intact. She wasn’t at her best but she was alright.
\t“Y-yes sir. I think so.” She rasped out a response uncomfortably. Right, she was screaming. She blinked as it all seemed to confuse her. He scrutinized her, squinting as he stepped slightly closer.
\t“S-sir…” She coughed as she tried to talk. Wincing as she had harmed her voice. “What.. what happe-” She stopped as he held up a hand.
\t“Don’t speak. You should be quiet.” She nodded as he took another step. She had so many questions, but she didn’t want to speak.She didn’t want to risk anything at this point.
\t“Don’t move for a moment. I am going to release you.” She stilled in her seat as he approached. The usual discomfort seemed to churn in the depths of her being in his presence. Yet the desire to do as he said was ever more so present. Clamp by clamp he moved over the restraints as she was slowly being released.
\tThere was a moment of awe, confused shock at how nonchalant he was about the action as though it was normal. By the time he was finished she still was processing exactly what had happened. Giving him time to stand, and back away two steps.
\t“Stand up.”
\tA deep inhale, taking in the will through trembling breaths while reality set back in past blurred vision. It was natural though to stand, to rise from it. She remembered who she was, or at least she thought she did. The reason for her fear. There were moments of doubt wondering if the personality she had itself was false. She brushed this aside as she rose completely from the chair standing quietly before him. If he wanted her to truly be servile he would have simply erased any memories of the event. Was he bluffing this whole time? Was this all just a ploy to humiliate her? How could she be so stupid to really think he could erase her li…
\t“Now, Liana. I want you to hold still for me.” At first she felt a sense of rigidity. The impulse to freeze in the presence of a threat. An impulse that waned as he approached causing her to want anything else. Shifting to a new desire to shrivel, turn away, hide, anything but wait for him to reach her. Yet as her mind processed the command, the sensation was usurped by a new fear. Yet the terror was different. It wasn’t the same desire to escape or squirm away, it wasn’t the fear of pain… He approached, and she didn’t flinch. There was no natural inclination to slip away or escape. Even when she felt his breath against her neck as he spread his arms out. She could lunge forward and bite into his neck right now, he was so open, vulnerable. If she wanted she could… but she… she didn’t WANT to. More so she did, part of her did. Yet it was a paralyzing all consuming fear. A familiar fear she just had waded through sitting on the chair. The numbing instinctual desire to do anything he asked of her in that moment. Slowly the realization began to slither from the depths.
Silently she screamed as tears again welled in her eyes, but she struggled to think of why. The aberrant sensation warping her ability to process what or why this was happening. She could barely tremble in fear as he embraced her. Unlike anything he had done with her before it was soft, almost compassionate. His austere rigidity warped at the edges as he leaned into the embrace. She could feel his heartbeat against her bosom, the subtle warmth bleeding through the fabric of his dress shirt. His ear gently flicked against the side of her head while he ran his fingers over her back. All revolting sensations due to their source.
\tDespite her conscious desire to resist, she could not do so with the crushing terror of oblivion still whispering from the depths. The more she tried to will herself to action the more violently the despair clawed from below, crippling her. Rendering her more and more like the mewling, pathetic creature she was mere moments ago. She could only muster a silent whine as she screamed within the cage of her mind. Her captor took a deep breath as he squeezed her.
\t“It’s over…”
\tHe stayed there, holding her for a moment. Their roles almost reversed as he allowed a moment of emotive honesty to bleed through while she was trapped inside herself. The confusion fading with the paralyzing despair. Finally, as he released her, the sensation dissipated. He took a step back while she still stood stunned at the series of events.
\t“Return to your cell and attach the leash from the winch.” The new command, reaching through her shock. Letting her find a small fragment of comfort in the idea of being returned to her cage. Despite everything it was the only place that had even a moment of respite, it was the only place she could find the sanctuary of slumber. However as she approached the clasp at the end of the chain to bind herself there was a desire to not restrain herself for him. A disdain, a disgust as though the object was diseased. A nauseating grasp through her gut that wrenched through her. Would this be it? If she did this… would she lose forever? She hesitated staring down at that thing, that metallic hook. Would she give up this easily? Could she even disobey?
\tSuddenly she found her resistance again to be struck with the new fear. The caustic phantom boiled up beneath her skin making her hair stand on end, as a cold sweat began again. A nauseating illness surged within her beyond that of her visceral disgust at submission. It was a primordial thing that gripped her, pulled her, making her whole body tremble as she began to hobble towards the quarry. With every moment she resisted the fathomless depths of the sensation it seemed to pull her deeper. Only momentarily abating with each step towards her submission. Simply standing leeched her consciousness. Breathing became labored as her veins turned to ice. The fear, a fear of death like it was on her shoulder, that same fear that night staring into the eyes of her captor. It was on her shoulder now, weighing her down. She knelt down towards the chain, trembling hand indecisively reaching for it seeking an escape from the feeling, only to pull back as she tried to remain free a bit longer.
Gritting her teeth between sobs as she grasped the chain in trembling hands and struggled to clasp lock around the anchor of her collar. It was too much, as the build up of shame and spite surged forward causing her to lose her grip. Having the chain clatter to the floor. She looked at it for a moment till emotional flagellation arrived. The haunting despair of oblivion coiled around her, wrapping her in a sense of futility. It was useless to resist it, as she reached out again. The moment of supplication dragged on as her meek grasp struggled to find the lock on the back of her neck, fumbling to physically accomplish the task as she struggled to abate the sensation of emotional oblivion which weighed upon her. It only took a few attempts, of which each failure extracted a bitter gasp, yet slowly as the feeling abated, the dexterity to complete it arrived as the lock clicked into place. With the absence of the sensation, it left her to contemplate what she had done. All the while her captor silently walked up and locked the cell. Even now stuck in habit… or paranoia.
\t“You are free to conduct yourself as you wish as long as you don’t act to commit harm to me or yourself. This will be a learning experience for us both. You may also speak as long as you are within the established rule set. I will return with dinner in a few hours and leave you to yourself. If you behave, you may get media of a sort to entertain yourself.” He turned to the door to leave, only looking back for a moment as he closed the door. Liana collapsed to her knees as she slumped against the bars of the cell wall. The magnitude of resistance she attempted left her cold, shivering as she was layered in cold sweat, taking long breaths from the sense of exertion. Letting herself hang there limply seemingly comatose in shock as the chain jingled behind her.
\t“It… it’s over?” a rasped whisper that creaked, bitter sobs winding up in her chest.
\t“I-it d-d-doesn’t feel over…”
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End
Sorry that took so long, always found the last push to be difficult.
Title makes a bit more sense now at least.
Original concept had something like this on the first night, but we ended up extending it to what we have now.
Story is complete, with some room for a follow up series if we go that route. Going to be taking a bit of a break for now at least.
Thanks everyone for reading, and sticking around until the end!