Paul Hasyn’s spiritual dilemma – first attempt at narrative – “Broken Heart”
(…) It was the perfect place for it to happen: calm, silent, mentally stimulating – a ride in the car was a great reflection-inducer. Suddenly, while just drifting with the city lights, Paul felt a presence, a special one, different. “Is that really you?” he asked mentally to the astral being, “sure thing” the tender male voice answered telepathically. “Thought you left for real” – Paul kept on without looking at the entity – “long time no see, man.” The spirit caught the subtle harshness in his voice, totally comprehensible in the face of the recent events. “I thought you were ready to go on your own, so I stepped back to give you some space. I had no idea it would collapse like that.” – Paul replied to this last statement with an annoyed and maybe sarcastic “humpf”, and this motivated the being to add – “And about those things I told you back then, about you ungrateful to my help, I take it all back; I got too attached to you and acted as if we were truly mated. I’m sorry, for real.” And with this, the entity put one of his hands over Paul’s, which was lying on the seat all along. Paul reacted to the touch and looked at him: it was a black cat guy, about the same age and size as Paul, but with a fit and handsome feline look, and his yellow eyes touched Paul’s heart like nothing else ever had. Paul’s body couldn’t see, hear and even less feel that being, but his soul could do it flawlessly. This made him wonder dearly with his already broken heart once again “why isn’t he real?” and it remembered him of another question that was bugging him lately: “are you him, that is, my soul guardian?” “You could say that” the cat guy answered. That’s what he feared, that he accidentally had sex with his guardian, it sounded like incest! The spirit felt his reaction and added right away “but not literally though, I’m an extract of his caring essence, taken from him shortly before he became corrupted. Lucky of you to find me.” But Paul was still bugged by that realization: “Still, I became very intimate, and even got a crush, or fell in love, if you can call it that way, with…” – he looked at the cat person beside him and almost said ‘you’, but changed to something else just in time – “…my spirit guider.” The cat gave him a serene, understanding and even loving gaze, straight into his eyes and consequently to his heart. “Maybe it’s not as perverse as you think, what if we were lovers in another life or something? Why can’t you just allow yourself some unconditional love at least once?” this being said in his voice made it tempting – and to think some years ago it would’ve freaked him out, a male voice seducing him… “C’mon, you think too much!” the spirit nudged him in a friendly way, which made him look at it once again: the dark shiny fur, blazing smile and hypnotizing eyes shifting under the multicolored lights of the city were a wonderful sight, which made his heart really soft enough for it to break right away: “I-I can’t take this anymore, i-i-it’s too painful!” his voice was trembling with the upcoming flood of pain and despair. It wasn’t just an average pain, but one carved deep inside his soul, for it felt like that cat was the love of his live; and while his love was right there beside him, he wasn’t there – he couldn’t ever be. This feeling was rolling up since a long time ago, probably since the first time he met that cat, and fell in love right away, or maybe even before that – his love life was a mess since he know himself as a person. By now, he didn’t know what else to think, all was too blurry and confusing. (…)

…TO BE CONTINUED?