But I wanted to start with these two Pics, because they're very dear to me. Both of these pics are gifts, give to me by my Utterly Amazing Friend \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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Now that alone makes these Pics Special. But what made these Pics Extra Special, is that they arrived at points in my life when I was at my lowest. When I was feeling run down, beat up, pushed to the brink of insanity and beyond every limit I have. I literally just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I thought about harming myself and others, about just saying "Fuck it" and just swing at the next person that pissed me off...Then the first picture came.
It's a simple Pic, some would even call it crude, with a simple subject matter. Two friends shearing a warm embrace, nothing around them, just the world tuned out for a few simple moments. It's a simple picture, yes, but with a simple message to convey. "I'm here. I care. I give a damn."
Y'all...I broke that day...something inside me snapped and I just broke down crying. I cried for what felt like an hour, at least...when I was done, I felt better then I had in a damn long time. After I pulled myself back together, I'm promptly thanked Megan for the wonderful gift n_n <3 . There aren't enough words in the world to express my thanks though for the real gift Megan gave me that day, and quite possibly saving me n_n <3 ...
Now, things got better, for awhile anyway. Until about two weeks ago. Some of you reading this have seen me ranting and raving about this, but lately, my jobs become a Hell to work at -_- . Increased work days with fewer days off, Overworked with no Significant Pay Increase, no Benefits of any kind, rapid changes in store policy with threats of being fired for noncompliance and customers so Brainless you wonder how the hell then even got up that morning -_- .I'm starting to feel like the Beaches of Normandy at this point -_- .
But I digress. What really set me off was what happened two weeks ago. One of my coworkers, a woman I absolutely Loved working with because such a bubbly personality that could just light up a room, suddenly passed away -_- . How sudden you ask? I worked with her on Wednesday, had Thursday off, came in Friday morning, found out she had died Wednesday Night sometime -_- ...Since then, the mood around work has been very Somber, and Management is of course scrambling to reassign her hours and trying to fill her spot.
Loosing my friend was bad enough, but her death also got me thinking. She died stuck at this job. a Job we all hate and despise, and she wasn't much older then I am...13 years now...I've wasted 13 years of my life so far as a retail worker, making money for other people and making they're dreams come true, while mine just sit on the sidelines and I struggle to figure out how I'm gonna make it to next week and my next pay check...
Needless to say, that feeling of wanting to crawl into a Hole came back...not quite as bad as the last time, but still there. A few days later, so did the second pic that Megan gifted me.I don't know how she knew, maby she's part Angle, or maby it's the ears XD n_n . Either way, she just knew I needed a pick me up.
The Pic this time was a lovely sketch of my Cat/Wolf Hybrid Witch Girl Vikie. It made me smile, because it reminded me of my friend n_n . Much like her, Vikie is a Character full of Life,Bubbly Energy, with an easy smile and a desire to just help people and make em happy. It made me stop and think, are the people you care about really ever truly gone as long as they're memory lives on in your heart? No,indeed they are not n_n . My friend is gone, yes, but her spirit lives on n_n .
Out of these events, I've learned a couple of things. Life is too short to live the way everyone else wants you to. To that end, I've started practicing more in SAI and Gimp, slowly relearning things I'd forgotten and learning new things. In about August, they're going to be offering a Graphic Design class at the local college. I'm gonna do my best to get in and get a degree, so I can finally start doing something i want to do, and do something meaningful.
The other thing I've learned is that Friends. True, Honest to God Friends are worth more then any Treasure on this planet. They listen to your problems, offer wise advice, and when all else fails, they give you a Big Hug and reassure you that things are going to be all alright n_n <3 .
Lastly, no matter how small of insignificant it might seem, a small gesture can mean the world to someone, even to the point of turning and beating back the encroaching Darkness that we all face at some point. Be as kind as you can to people, because you never know what a kind gesture might accomplish n_n .
Ok, that's all I wanted to say, so I guess i better wrap this up. If you've read this far. God Bless you and have an amazing day n_n . And remember. No matter what your going through, there are peopl ot there who care and give a damn. Talk to them n_n <3 !
Otlan and Vikie belong to me, \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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Megan Bryar belongs to the wonderful \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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Pic 1 was drawn by the awesome \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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Pic 2 was drawn by the amazing
\n\t\t\t\t\tmorgdl n_n ! Go give them some Love too n_n .But especially make sure you give a Lot of Love to Megan for being just the the wonderful person she is n_n <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 !!