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  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Hey, look at what I finally got off my butt and did! Between Partners and commissions, I managed to get something down for that elusive G2B spank bank. If this seems dangerously not-porn for a while, just sit tough- it&#039;s there.<br /><br />And there&#039;ll be more after I no longer have to set up the story part. :T</span>",
  "writing": "\"You won't pass us, ya doity goils!\" uttered the gravelly voice of a short, demonic rat with glowing yellow eyes, hoisting a spear toward his opponents as at least a dozen identical individuals to him did the same. They, as did their enemies, stood on water, invisible platforms supporting their weight.\n\n\"Demon rats... from Jersey?\" A reddish-pink raccoon/rabbit hybrid laughed as she stepped forward with liesurely insistence, cracking her knuckles. \"Von Zeppelin spared every expense, eh Daz?\"\n\n\"You know it, Razz.\" A light blue chipmunk floated overhead. \"Also, dirty? That's rich coming from you guys, yeesh. Even a little dry cleaning might do you some good.\"\n\n\"Get 'em!\" They cried, and the battle began. Though calling it a 'battle' was being outright charitable; Razzle punched through the entire group in one swing, sending them sprawling like bowling pins; three fell in the lake. The ones that remained, Dazzle pushed overboard with a telekinetic force blast.\n\nOne final rat remained, cowering, which Razz picked up by the collar. \"Where's your boss?\" she asked casually.\n\n\"I ain't tellin' you nuttin'! Go 'head 'n kill me, I ain't afraid!\" he shouted unconvincingly.\n\n\"No need!\" Daz retorted cheerfully, putting a hand on his forehead. \"Let's just get inside those filthy brainmeats of yoooours... ah ha! He's in the pinnacle. Probably doesn't know we're here.\" She looked down at him. \"Oh, and no, Razzle's ass is all-natural.\"\n\n\"Man!\" The strawberry bunnycoon griped, tossing the remaining rat into the lake. \"You're the one with the tits, why am I always getting accused of having implants?\"\n\nThey burst into the keep, the castle becoming visible once they crossed the threshold into a monstrous foyer. A huge slime wearing a roman centurion's helmet called out \"ATTACK!\" and dozens of shambling corpses came forth.\n\n\"Ew! Super gross!\" Razz opened her palm and threw an energy blast into the lot of them, scattering a few and forcing the others to regroup. They quickly swarmed her, forcing Daz to fly up.\n\n\"Are you okay in there??\" asked the psychic.\n\n\"It smells so fucking bad in here! ERAUGH!!\" She punched the stone floor, sending a web of cracks through it. A second later, the entire floor collapsed, falling into a deep dark chasm, and all of the zombies with it.\n\n\"Overkill much?\" snickered Dazzle, who held her partner in crime fighting aloft in a light blue psychic bubble.\n\n\"They were gonna get their dead on my clothes,\" she shrugged. They made their way up the stairs, standing before the immense double doors. \"Alright, time to bust into- ah!\"\n\nA strange four-eared lizardman and a white-clad ninja cat cross-cut against Razz's back, slicing an 'X' in her costume. \"Hah! Didn't see that coming, didja?!\" taunted the knife-wielding bangaa.\n\n\"Are you serious?\" Razz sent a haymaker right for Shiroga's face, but the cat swiftly dodged it. Meanwhile, Carmine threw a rock at Daz to try to clip her metaphorical wings.\n\n\"You will not reach Boss-sama!\" Shiro sliced at Razzle frantically, deftly dodging her pugilistic counterattacks and power-sliding underneath her. She turned and brought the blade down!\n\n\"Hah!\" Razz caught it between her fingers. \"I saw this in an anime! BAM.\" She threw Shiroga across the room, slapping her against the stone wall and sending the sword after.\n\n\"Ugh... s-so much stronger than usual!\" Shiroga noted with a wince. \"Surprise round is over!\" She grabbed the sword, cut into the wall and stepped through a strange dark portal before it closed.\n\nCarmine looked back at the fleeing Shiroga. \"Uh... shit. AH!\" He cried out in surprise when Razzle kicked the back of his legs, bringing him to his knees as she held him there.\n\n\"Now, then, let's see what secrets you hold, hm?\" Dazzle put a hand on his forehead and shut her eyes. \"... Boy, I can read you like a book. A filthy pop-up book. Ah!\" She took her hand off of Carmine's head, which caused him to collapse. \"I know where he is. Also, apparently you're in 'best ass' competition with Blastcannon.\"\n\nRazz rolled her eyes. \"Ugh, like I even-... Blastcannon, really? Isn't she the C-tier who f-... whatever.\" She kicked the door down, running up the stairs. She barreled through another door, which opened up into the pinnacle of the castle, in the middle of which was a giant burbling boiler pot of some kind, and a certain inverse raccoon standing atop a stepladder looking into it. \"It's over, Von Zeppelin!\" she yelled dramatically.\n\n\"... What?\" He looked around cluelessly. \"What's over? What's going on?\"\n\n\"Don't play dumb!\" Daz retorted. \"This is Razzle, and I'm Dazzle! We are The Spectacles! And the League of Sentries sent us to stop you.\"\n\n\"Stop... me from what?\" He stepped down from the stepladder. \"I haven't done anything in a week at least.\"\n\nRazz sneered. \"Yeah. I'm sure that thing is just your lunch. The League told us everything! About how you're plotting to use that to transform innocent people into horrible monsters!\"\n\n\"... What, this?\" He thumbed toward the giant pot. \"No, this is-\"\n\n\"Save it for the judge, Von Zeppelin!\" Razz grinned. \"'Cause your whole scheme's about to get [i]smashed.[/i]\"\n\n=\n|\n=\n\n[A Week Later...]\n\n\"Thanks, Laverne!\" A portly skunk boy cheerily said to the octogenarian at the post office. She returned a low \"Yeah, sure, kid\" or something similar before going back to her electronic pocket poker game as the heavyset male made his way out with a somewhat large box. Locating his moped in the parking lot, he strapped it carefully to the vehicle, put his helmet on and rode away, the headphones in it blasting some variety of upbeat J-pop song.\n\nThe sun was shining, the grass was blowing in the breeze, and Jacob wasn't going to care about a single moment of it. He nearly skipped all the way to his eighth story apartment after locking his vehicle away. \"Hello Sandy!\" he greeted his duck girl neighbor, who returned the greeting with an odd quirk of the brow. \"Everything is a-okay, it's fine with me today~\" he sang, stumbling to remember which key it was to open the door, then coming inside and pushing the door shut with his ample bottom.\n\nHe shut the curtains, turned on all the lights and set the box on the bed of his one-bedroom apartment. \"Careful, now, don't want to accidentally hurt you cuties!\" He notched the boxcutter down to a tiny wedge and carefully opened the cardboard box, removing sheets of bubble wrap with a ridiculous amount of care. \"Ahhhh!\"\n\nWhat he pulled out of the box were two folded squares of shiny material, one a reddish pink, the other a powdery blue. \"Ohhhh, they're so vibrant! I didn't expect that. Well, it's custom work, after all. One of a kind, and they're all mine!\" He giggled, almost deliriously happy as he gently unfolded each of them. They formed vaguely humanoid shapes. \"There you are, girls!\" He grinned from ear to ear. \"My very own Razzle & Dazzle super girl power team love dolls... they look great, even deflated! Oooh.\" He took a closer look at their heads, which featured extremely simplistic inkblot-style eyes and mouths- Razz with a smiling but aggressive face, and Daz with a much more passive, happy one. \"Simplicity and style! I actually like it better. And you put their costumes on them so that I could be surprised. RubberLover241, you are an [u]artist[/u]. I bow to you.\" He laughed softly. \"Well, cuties, how about we get some air in you, huh?\" The skunk boy stepped out of his pants, getting down to just his undies, where a definite noticeable chub was being worked on.\n\nJacob had always loved rubbery things. As a kid, he liked to play with rubber bands, bouncy balls, stretch-arm dolls and all other assorted things. But what he [i]really[/i] liked were balloons. The feel of the material, the way inflation changed the way it behaved- there were so many things that he enjoyed about it. \"Alright, easy... ~Ffffft~\" He used deep, controlled breaths to inflate Razz. \"In through the nose, out through the mouth.\" Amateurs would use every breath they had to try to inflate things, and would inevitably end up gasping from it, but he'd worked out a good rhythm over the years that let him blow things up without trouble.\n\nOnce the strawberry bunnycoon was fully inflated, he took a moment to appreciate her. \"Wooow...\" His fingers played over the material. At first it felt like vinyl- cheap pool toy stuff- but filling the bad girl bruiser's replica with air had done wonderful things for the texture of her rubbery surface, giving it a feel somewhere between a somewhat taut but pliable week-old party balloon and the kind of sensory rubber they put in adult pleasure tools. It was delightful to touch. \"Haha, geez... almost like a traditional sex toy. Oh! Speaking of which, did they include the-\" he patted her fabric-covered crotch twice, feeling a thick, soft mound between her thighs. \"Yep! Love sleeve included.\" He rubbed his hand over its slight bulge a moment, and almost thought he heard air escaping somehow. Odd. Didn't seem to be a leak.\n\n\"Alright, Red.\" He gently placed her in a sitting position among some pillows. \"I'm just gonna touch your girlfriend long enough to blow her up, so don't get mad, okay~?\" He giggled playfully. \"~Pssshhht~ Don't worry though. ~Pssssssht~ Pretty soon ~Psssssht~ we'll all be friends-with- benefits anyway. ~Pssssht~\" He took a moment to un-rumple some of Daz's outfit as he reveled in his extremely self-indulgent fantasy. \"Don't worry, girls. I won't tell anyone that after a long day of fighting crime, sometimes the only way you can get rid of all that tension is to ride a chubby skunk nerd's big, fat dick. <3\"\n\nHe sat Daz up on his other side and hugged them both to his soft form, their curves molding to his bigger middle. \"Mm. Wow.\" He took another moment to admire the craftsmanship. \"Whoever modeled your breasts, Blue, they got it just right. That perfect perk and weightiness. And Red!\nOhhh, your butt is just the biggest, I'm gonna bury my whole face in it!\" He giggled. He couldn't help but wonder if it was a little bit wrong to have such overt sexual fantasies about his friends like this. \"I can't help it, though... plus, they haven't been back from that top secret mission in like a week!\" He genuinely missed them, perverted secret aside. \"Well, girls. I feel the need for some snuggles now. Plus, I want at least a day's worth of stamina build-up before we go all the way!\"\n\nJacob carefully laid the Razz doll down, then nestled Daz in front of it in a spooning position. \"A nap in the middle of the day; how decadent. ... But not as decadent as a pair of hot, awesome superhero lesbians in my bed~!\" He flumped down into it and immediately wrapped his arms around them both, shutting his eyes with a contented sigh.\n\n=\n|\n=\n\n\"Mmh...\" It was dark. Jacob immediately noticed this and grumbled about messing up his schedule. The second thing he noticed, however, was something he'd grown used to until today: his bed was empty. \"Eh??\"\n\nCould it have been a burglar?? Those dolls were worth good money, but no crackhead busting in for a pawnable haul would've known that. Plus, all of his figurines and other collectibles were still there... as was his wallet, on the computer desk. \"Uh... okay...?\" After a few moments of looking under the bed, in the closet and elsewhere in the room, the very confused skunk's ear twitched. There was someone in the kitchen!\n\nHe grabbed his sword off the wall- a replica for display purposes and the only weapon he owned- and slowly made his way into the hallway. He crept with a sense of dread, hearing a furious conversation.\n\n\"Look, I don't know what kind of cop you think you are, but I'm telling you I've been turned into... something! Yes, Razzle. Yes, [i]that [/i]one. Ugh, I don't remember my SupReg number! Come on, just-... he hung up.\"\n\"Oh, geez. I knew we should've memorized those.\"\n\nWhen Jacob looked around the corner into the brightly lit kitchen, he couldn't believe what he was seeing! His toys- his Razzle & Dazzle love dolls- were standing around, talking to each other! The one that resembled Razz hung up his cell phone and put it on the counter.\n\nDaz looked up at him, and Razz followed. \"... Seriously? A keyblade?\" the rubber bunnycoon gave him an 'are you serious' expression.\n\n\"Hi, Jake.\" Daz greeted him.\n\nHis eyes grew wide and he fell backward, his comical cartoon weapon thumping to the floor. \"W-... H-... How are you moving?? What... What are you?!\"\n\nRazz deadpanned. \"You recognized us pretty well when you were side-huggin' us as your brand new rubber bitches.\"\n\n\"I-... I don't understand, you're just dolls! I ordered you off the internet!\"\n\nDaz sighed. \"Jake, we're the real Razzle and Dazzle. You know, Maxine and Dinah? Red and Blue? We sat next to each other on the bus all the time? You're the only one who knows our real names??\"\n\nJacob paused for a few moments. \"Red? Blue? Ohmigod I'm so glad you're okay! I was trying not to think about it but what a relief! W-... Why are you rubber?\"\n\nRed threw up her hands. \"That's the question now, isn't it? There's a bunch of them we don't know, as it turns out! Like: why can't we use our powers?\"\n\"Why don't we remember the past week?\"\n\"Why is the League of Sentries pretending like they don't know who we are?\"\n\"Why does the newspaper report on Doctor Von Zeppelin's involvement in the mission but never mention us?\"\n\"How many times was Jake going to fuck us before he realized we were his actual friends?\"\n\nJake's mouth went dry as his face locked in horror. He'd almost forgotten about that. \"A-... I-... Ahahahahaha! Thaaaat? Ohoho, nooo, that's- I wouldn't- that is not what this... no! I- It was just a joke! A laugh, a funny- I like to play jokes on myself sometimes that's definitely-...yeah!\"\n\nBlue seemed like she wanted to believe it, but Red refused to even play along, according to her annoyed frown.\n\n\"Ohmigod you guys I'm [i]so [/i]sorry. You have to believe I'd never have done this if I knew it was going to be actually you! I'm so embarrassed right now...\"\n\nRed still seemed mad, but Blue sighed. \"Look, I think we're all just a little on edge for obvious reasons. Razz, we've been through a lot, but there's no point punishing our best friend for that. Jake? Ehm... I... think we're all sorry we saw that. Why don't we just pretend we didn't and focus on what's important?\"\n\n\"Yeah. Like nailing the creep that did this to us!\" Razz pounded a fist into her hand. \"Look out VonZeppelin, you're going down! To the streets!\"\n\n\"Uhm.\" Jake stood slowly. \"Not to rain on your parade, but they already arrested him, two days after the incident.\"\n\n\"... Oh.\" Red looked at Blue. \"... To the Internet!\"\n\n=\n|\n=\n\n\"I can't believe I'm helping you guys out with super-stuff,\" Jake noted, getting set up on his computer as they stood to either side of him. \"You guys never let me near your cape work!\"\n\n\"Whaddya mean?\" Razz sniffed. \"We ask you for hacker-help all the time while we're on the job.\"\n\nHe rolled his eyes. \"And about 5% of the time it's actual hacker stuff. Most of the time I'm just using Google. I've just never been, you know, around you when stuff happens! Even if it is just Skyping into a prison cell. By the way, wow. You can Skype into a prison cell now?\"\n\nDaz nodded. \"It's just for supervillains, in case we need to defuse something they set up through their cohorts or need information about other villains. Oh! I think it's working.\"\n\nOn the computer screen, a slightly compressed image of a feminine raccoon boy lying on a bed in a prison jumpsuit appeared. \"Greets and meets! Let me guess, you found me through my bourbon steak recipe on Pinterest.\"\n\n\"Doctor Von Zeppelin...\" Jake took a second to get used to it; he'd never called a supervillain before.\n\n\"In the flesh! And there's so much. But not as much as you, eh loverboy?\" He grinned as a huge hand rested on his hips, which he batted away girlishly. \"Roscoe! You're such a Pushy Pauline; I'm on the face phone thing. So, to what do I owe this pleasure?\"\n\nRazz and Daz came into view, staring at him.\n\n\"Oh my! I thought you two were dead. Well bravo on surviving that blast; I nearly didn't myself.\" \n\n\"What happened to us??\" Red pushed.\n\nHe rudely took a bite of a sandwich. \"Welp,\" he said between chewing, \"Looks to me, Jigglebutt, like you got turned into a really grumpy rubber cock sock, as did your friend.\" He chortled. \"Are they all this easy? I'm gonna ace this quiz~\"\n\nRed grit her teeth, Jake tried not to think about all those things he'd just called his friend, but Blue looked thoughtful. \"So it was your device that did this?\"\n\n\"No, I'm sure your fairy godmother just granted your secret desire to be a walking marital aid. Of course it was my device! Did becoming airheads actually work metaphorically too?\"\n\n\"Zeppelin you better tell us how to reverse this!\" Red threatened.\n\n\"Or what, squeak cheeks? You gonna throw me in jail?\" He laughed richly. \"Maybe go Punisher on me? Oh that'd look amazing. 'Rubber psycho kills fem boy for sassing her.'\"\n\nDaz frowned. \"Please, we just want to get back to defending the city. Deep down inside, you don't really seem like such a bad guy...\"\n\nHe sighed, deadpan. \"Really? Shameless tug at the heartstrings?\" \n\nShe smiled and nodded hopefully.\n\n\"Fiiine.\" He rolled his eyes. \"Well unfortunately for you two, there's a major problem with reversing the process. That problem being that the thing that most likely made you that way in the first place- the alchemical pressure cooker that took me months to make, which by the way was constructed to [u]make[/u] rubber people, not transform them- is now a pile of worthless scrap iron. You heroes don't even think about the things you destroy until they're gone.\"\n\n\"Can you build another one?\" Red pressed.\n\n\"F- haha! ...First of all. Even if you asked me nicely, I would say 'no.' Secondly, if I somehow decided that I really liked the two jerks who got me thrown in prison on a million trumped up charges- spoilers, I don't!- I still couldn't do it, thanks to said prison, and said charges.\" He yawned. \"And to answer your next two questions-slash-threats, you can't bully my minions into doing it because they're idiots who can't prepare Pop-Tarts without instructions, and no, none of your goody-goody magic hero friends would know how to make the cooker- much less be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to do so. Anything else~?\" he asked with saccharine sweetness.\n\nBlue frowned. \"Is there [i]any[/i] way to get back our superpowers?\"\n\nHe thought about it. \"Hm. Your powers, if I recall, are scientific in nature. But everything about you is translated into magical focus. And the only way for golems- that's what you technically are now, by the way- the only way for golems to use magic is to be given it by outside sources. Just telling some wizard 'hey, magic me!' is going to give you incredibly lackluster results, but fortunately for you, your bodies are equipped with a catalyst engine. However, like most engines, it only runs on one thing: in this case, the sexual passion of an adoring male.\"\n\nRed's fur would have stood on end, if she had any. \"A-Are you serious?! What kind of jacked up porno logic is that?? And just male? Typical...\"\n\n\"Yes, pumpkin, that's why they're called sex toys; because they're made for one sex!\" He laughed as the hand reappeared and clutched at his chest. \"Oop! Roscoe's unable to contain himself. See ya kiddies; it's been fun~!\"\n\n=\n|\n=\n\nIn the dark of night, rain poured down at a steady pace against the stucco of the apartment's balcony- one of the few luxuries it featured. Red leaned against the railing, staring out at the city with eyes made for being seen, yet capable of seeing. She ran a hand over her flesh again, still entranced by its smooth alien surface. What mysteries did this new form hold? When would she be able to turn back again? There were so many questions.\n\n\"So... what do you think you're gonna do now?\" Jake came through the sliding glass door as innocuously as he could.\n\n\"... Well. Top priority would be uncovering why this happened in the first place. Zep was as in the dark as we were; that suggests another player. I think the first order of business is to get back to our hideout. Think you can get us there?\"\n\n\"Oh yeah, of course. Anything for you guys.\" He smiled genuinely. \"It'll be a tight fit, but I can make it work!\"\n\n\"Thanks, Jake.\" She smirked before turning back toward the rain. The intense stare almost would have looked silly on her ink-on-rubber face, but something about her posture sold it. \"... Hey.\"\n\n\"Enh, yeah?\"\n\n\"So you know I'm into girls, right?\"\n\n\"E-Ehm. Well, yeah. I mean, you've made it pretty clear. What with your off-and-on relationship with Daz.\"\n\nShe looked at him a few moments with a pregnant pause, then a mischievous grin came to her. \"But I guess in your fantasies, I'm not, huh?\"\n\nHe flushed, his ears burning with shame. \"Red, please, I'm still completely mortified about this afternoon.\"\n\n\"C'mon, you can't ask me to just leave it alone!\" She folded her arms. \"We're all gonna be thinking about it unless we talk it out. So are you like... [i]into[/i] me...?\"\n\n\"No,\" he sighed in frustration. \"I just wanna be friends, I promise!\"\n\n\"Heh, 'friends with benefits,' right?\" She snickered as he winced. \"Making an exception for good old Jake.\"\n\nHe bit his lip. \"I'm really sorry; I guess that's pretty arrogant, even for a fantasy.\"\n\n\"Nah.\" She turned away again, watching the rain as she bent forward over the railing a bit to lose herself in the downpour. \"I get it.\"\n\nHe blinked. \"You... you do?\"\n\n\"Yeah. Sure. There's someone I had a crush on back in the day, and I wished they weren't straight. But... sometimes it's nice to pretend. It's just a fantasy, after all.\" There was a small pause. \"Hey. Jake. Are you tired?\"\n\n\"Huh? Well, no. I mean I did just get up a little while ago.\"\n\n\"No. I mean... tired of sitting on the sidelines. Do you wanna help us really nail whoever's behind all this?\"\n\nHis eyes lit up. \"Do... do you really mean it??\"\n\nShe smirked. \"Yeah, I mean it. Now come on! Let's start getting our stuff together.\"\n\n=\n|\n=\n\nIf Jake was cautious on his motored scooter normally, the fact of having driven ten miles in pouring rain with not one, but two passengers had shot his nerves completely. His knees were still wobbling by the time he stepped in through the secret passageway.\n\n\"Ah, home sweet home~\" Blue sighed contentedly. \"At least nobody seems to have touched this place.\"\n\n\"You guys relax; I'm gonna go blow off some steam,\" Red noted absently, disappearing down stairs.\n\nThe place was not unlike the Bat Cave in many ways, many strange rooms connected by a subterranean hub. However, each branching room had a very modern look to it. Jake had seen the place a few times- mostly when they called him to set up the internet. \"Well. Weird night, huh?\" He laughed nervously.\n\n\"Boy, you said it Jake-o.\" The chipmunk was already deep in thought over the matter, sitting at a round dining table somewhat off from the kitchen.\n\n\"Hey.\" The skunk boy smirked, putting a hand on her shoulder. \"You know, you don't have to act tough for the rest of us. It'd be okay if you freaked out a little; even I'm freaked out.\"\n\nShe sighed, laughing a little. \"Thanks for looking out for me. I always get this way when I'm too close to a case; maybe I should unwind a little.\"\n\n\"Yeah!\" he agreed. \"I'll fix us a snack.\"\n\n\"Okay.\" Dazzle smiled and watched Jake walk away, enjoying the look of his thick, oddly feminine butt with only the smallest mote of shame. \"One way or another, we gotta try to figure out who did all this.\" The rubber chipmunk thought about it. \"Do we have any archenemies with these kinds of resources? Can't think of any.\"\n\n\"Nah, neither can I,\" Jake confirmed, setting down some toaster pastries. \"Technocrat, Garden Gloom, Fallsapart Frankie... none of them would have been able to orchestrate something like this. Wouldn't have any reason to, either; you're not the primary arches for any of them.\"\n\n\"Hm. I guess we'll need to do some footwork, then.\" She looked at her friend, who stared at his treat, having eaten only a bite of it. \"... Jake? Is there something wrong?\"\n\n\"Huh? Oh, uh. N-... Nothing.\" He saw her insistent look. \"It's selfish, don't worry about it.\"\n\nBlue smiled graciously. \"Aw, Jake. C'mon. I'm the mind reader, remember? I've seen everyone's naked thoughts, I know the way people are; I'm not gonna judge my best friend Jakey~\" she trilled cutely at the end.\n\nHe sighed, unable to not smirk a little. \"Well. I guess I'm just a little bummed out. I mean, you guys had this happen to you, we don't know how to fix it, and I paid a ton of money just to get scammed out of two awesome toys...\"\n\n\"Heh.\" She grinned a little. \"Sorry your fantasy got cut short, Jake-o, I know you liked it a lot.\" \n\nThe skunk blushed. \"So you knew the whole time, huh?\"\n\n\"Yeah.\" Blue nodded. \"Don't sweat it! Every guy has the lesbian threesome fantasy,\" she said in her consistently chipper 'attaboy' tone. \"If I weren't telepathic or hadn't been turned into a skeevy blowup doll, I never would've known! You followed proper BFF procedure; no harm, no foul.\" She nodded decisively.\n\nJake smirked. \"... Thanks, Blue. ... So. You think, uh. Maybe...\"\n\n\"Nope. Notta chance, I'm afraid,\" she shrugged apologetically, if unseriously so. \"Razz is a raging lesbo and I can't cum from fucking.\" She paused. \"Was that an overshare? I figured evening out our 'way too intimate sex info' count would make it less awkward.\"\n\nHe laughed, polishing off his pastry. \"No, no. It's fine. So you can't... from the traditional...?\"\n\n\"Nope,\" Daz admitted. \"I have the most demanding vajayjay in the universe. Takes me an hour at least. Vibes, music, nipple clips and buttplugs!\" she announced in her dorky, nasally voice before snorting. \"Sorry if I'm givin' you a boner.\"\n\nJake only shook his head and smiled. \"You haven't stopped giving me a boner since the sixth grade...\" He was embarrassed to admit it, but there was no use hiding things from Daz.\n\nShe snickered. \"We have gotta get you a girlfriend besides that body pillow.\" \n\n\"OH MY GOD. This is a disaster!!\"\n\nJake and Daz blinked, looking up at Razz as she descended the stairs in an angry huff. \"What's going on??\"\n\n\"Not my punches!\" she retorted, throwing her fist into Jake's arm with a ~THUPF~ \n\n\"Ah!\" The skunk blinked. \"Oh. Huh, that didn't really hurt at all.\"\n\n\"See?!\" Red grit her teeth. \"This is horrible! It's bad enough I have no powers; if I can't throw a decent punch I might as well fight back with cheese whiz!\"\n\n\"Ooh.\" Daz considered it. \"Normally I'd say you're overreacting, but if we can't even defend ourselves, then that is a problem.\"\n\n\"Jake.\" Razz huffed. \"You know a lot about balloons and shit, right? Tell me you've got a fix for this or something??\"\n\nHe blinked thoughtfully. \"... Actually... I just might.\"\n\n=\n|\n=\n\nAfter a short trip to the local supermarket and some haphazard math, Razz and Daz stood to either side of an oil barrel full of pink goo that Jake stirred with a bath brush. \"Are you sure about this?\" Red queried, looking uncertainly at the concoction.\n\n\"Positive,\" he confirmed. \"In my... experiments with filling balloons, air doesn't have enough mass and leaves you taut and tight. Water's way too heavy and will make you two feet tall and pear-shaped.\"\n\n\"More than usual,\" teased Blue.\n\n\"Jello has the best properties to simulate flesh! So when you punch somebody with this behind you, it should pack a whallop!\"\n\n\"If you say so. I guess.\"\n\n\"Aaaand that should do it!\" Jake taste-tested the mixture and nodded in approval. \"Now just drink it, and we can start part two!\"\n\n\"Ugh, I have to drink liquid jello?\" She winced, grabbing the sink hose that had been repurposed for this. \"Maaan. Why me?\" Razz put the hose to her lips and sucked on the stuff, gulping it down hesitantly.\n\n\"Easy does it,\" Jake instructed. \"Let the air out of your nose as you drink.\" \n\nRazz stopped drinking for a moment. \"You sure know a lot about this.\"\n\n\"Oh, sure!\" he confirmed. \"When I ordered the dolls, I went over the specifications for like a week beforehand. I know everything about your bodies!\"\n\nRed gave him an incredulous look as she slowly put the hose back in her mouth.\n\n\"Ha! Don't be that way, they were supposed to be his toys, it's not that weird.\" Blue snickered. \"Besides, it's good that he's got all this knowledge; we're gonna need it to figure this out.\"\n\nRazz dropped the hose in the sink, letting out a belch and a wince. \"Drinking that much feels weird.\"\n\nBlue smiled. \"Well, maybe you'll feel better after it sets. In the meantime, Jake and I are gonna see if we can get any details on this person he ordered us from.\"\n\n=\n|\n=\n\nA doorbell rang in a one-room apartment. A scruffy-looking forty-something pelican rose from his chair, puzzled. \"Who in the world...\"\n\nWhen he opened his front door, a chubby skunk in a long jacket and ball cap stood in the doorway. \"... Are you RubberLover241?\"\n\nThe man blinked, taken aback. \"... Who are you??\"\n\nJake pressed the toe of his shoe against the bottom of the door. \"MrBigStuff. I ordered a couple of dolls from you, and there was something very wrong with my order.\"\n\n\"... A-Are you serious?\" The man was incredulous, taking a moment to bridge the gap between the virtual world and the real. \"And instead of emailing me, you came to my door like a goddamn internet detective?? What the hell is wrong with you?\"\n\n\"It's gonna pale in comparison to what's wrong with you in a second.\" Turning into the doorway from leaning against the wall, Razzle spun around and clocked the pelican directly in his head, her jello-filled fist smacking wetly against him and sending him to the floor in surprise.\n\n\"Ah! What-... what's going on??\"\n\n\"Who's your supplier?!\" she demanded, grabbing onto his collar.\n\n\"Jesus christ you can talk?!\" he yelled hysterically as Jake closed the door behind Dazzle.\n\n\"That's just the beginning of what I can do,\" she threatened. \"One such thing being throwing you in jail for a long time for human trafficking!\"\n\n\"Suh-Stop please!\" he pleaded breathlessly. \"I have a heart condition!\"\n\nRazz rolled her eyes and let go of him. \"I'm not taking my eye off of you, creep. What's your name?\"\n\n\"C-... Cyrus Bawree.\" He shivered as he slowly rose, having a bit of trouble lifting his bulk. \"Wh-... What are you??\"\n\n\"You should know; you're the one who sells things like this all the time, right?\" Blue asked cuttingly.\n\n\"I-...\" He stumbled. \"Usually I make all of the dolls m-... myself. I draw the patterns, c-cut the material, then seal the seams...\"\n\nBut you didn't this time,\" Dazzle intuited, finding a place to stand in the small, cluttered apartment.\n\n\"No. I got a package on my doorstep that had... uh... y-you two in it. It didn't have a return address, but it said it was from a fan of my work.\" He winced. \"I swear I didn't know you were alive somehow... h-how could I?\"\n\nRazz shot Daz a look as if to say 'is he lying?' She shrugged.\n\n\"Is this the package?\" Jake asked, picking up an empty box with a letter inside it that matched his description.\n\nThe man nodded.\n\n\"Alright. Well don't leave town, Cyrus!\" Razz stomped off. \"Let's go.\"\n\nThe terrorized pelican gathered up things he'd knocked over slowly, and Dazzle lingered behind a moment. \"... You should try inversion seams. Much softer.\"\n\nHe blinked. \"... Hm.\"\n\n=\n|\n=\n\n\"So what happens now?\" asked Jake from the edge of the couch in the rec room.\n\nDazzle sighed thoughtfully. \"Well, I was hoping that our last lead would give us a little more information, but it seems like now we're up against a wall.\"\n\n\"So there's no way around it, huh?\" Razz posited.\n\n\"Nope. We're going to have to investigate Von Zeppelin's castle.\"\n\n\"And without superpowers or backup from the League of Sentries, that's a losing proposition.\"\n\nThe skunk frowned at the silence as his two friends contemplated their conundrum. \"... I wish I could do something...\"\n\nRed chuckled. \"Heh, well, unless you can summon up an army or get us our powers back, I don't think there's a ton you can help with.\"\n\nJake sat there, feeling small, the pressure to speak up overwhelming him. Voices in his mind warned him of the penalties of being too bold, but finally, he could sit silently no more. If he wouldn't take this chance, then he didn't deserve it. \"... But I [i]can[/i] help you get your powers back.\"\n\nThe two of them looked up at him with mild surprise.\n\n\"If the catalyst for the magic is what he said it is, then I might be the only one who can,\" he said, bolstering his case.\n\nRazz finally put together what he was talking about. \"Geez, c'mon now, that's [i]really[/i] desperate.\" \n\nIt was the kind of response he'd played back in his head many a time. \"... Exactly.\"\n\nDaz cocked a brow. \"Jake...?\"\n\n\"I'm a nerd. And a shut-in. And a pervert. These have all been negative things up to this point! But now...\" He pushed forward, trying desperately to hold onto his nerve. \"... Now, finally, maybe all those things can be [i]useful[/i] to you instead of just something you tolerate. I wanna help you. I look up to you guys so hard, you have no idea.\"\n\n\"Yeah. Rock hard,\" Red snickered.\n\n\"Yeah, I have intense sexual fantasies about you,\" he admitted. \"But you're my best friends, too! And my heroes. Von Zeppelin said you needed the sexual passion of an adoring male. Well... nobody adores you more than me.\" His cheeks were burning as he stood before them, baring it all. He was embarrassed, to be sure, but it was clear he meant every word.\n\n\"... Wow, Jake,\" responded Blue, softly. \"I dunno what to say.\"\n\n\"You don't have to say anything!\" He reached for his belt and undid it, which showed a tent in his pants as it dropped. \"It's your pride! I get it!\"\n\n\"Uh!\" Daz blinked, startled by his bulge.\n\n\"I won't make you appeal to my ego in any way!\" He unzipped his pants and let them fall to the floor, his engorged foot long underwear bulge jutting from his hips rudely, a massive tent of white fabric censored by only a thin layer of cotton.\n\nRazz and Daz looked at each other from over the massive tentpole, their eyes wide.\n\n\"If you want, you can just close your eyes and I'll take care of- uh??\" When Jake opened his own eyes, he looked down to see Razz and Daz's rubber faces smiling like two felines in a jar of catnip, nuzzling his cloth-wrapped erection with what looked like genuine affection.\n\n\"Ohhhh, what's that amazing smell~?\" Blue sniffed the head of his cock through the fabric, tickling it and making him spurt a little glob of pre-cum that soaked through. \"Is that your dick, Jakey??\" Her nipples popped clear through her costume.\n\n\"Nnnh...\" Razz was sniffing intently at the daubed pre, lowering her head down until she absolutely buried her snout in the cleft of his balls, giving them a strong, stimulating sniffing. \"Ohmigod, that smells so fucking good...\" She shuddered.\n\n\"R-... Really??\" The skunk blinked, confused and thrilled. \"Ah! Nnh...\"\n\n\"Ugh, it's so pungent...\" Daz continued. \"It's hard to even think straight...\" Nevertheless, she dug her hands in the back of his underwear and pulled them down, his rock hard cock bouncing the moment it was freed.\n\n\"God damn, that's huge...\" The rubber bunnycoon smiled dreamily, her face gravitating toward the throbbing organ. \"Bigger than Blue's biggest dildo...\" Suddenly, she wrapped her lips around it and pushed down onto the thing, making Jake's legs wobble as he felt the sensation occur. It was unreal.\n\n\"Hey!\" Daz cut in, wrapping a hand around the base of it and pulling it her way, the thing popping out of Razz's mouth. \"You don't even like dicks.\"\n\n\"I was learning to!\" Razz complained as Daz put the head in her mouth and genuinely sucked the rest of the shaft in, making all kinds of lewd sucking noises as she blew the huge skunk dick.\n\n\"Ahhhhfff!\" Jake, meanwhile, was absolutely stunned. Not only was he getting to have sex with Razzle and Dazzle both, but they were arguing over who got to suck his cock. His fat organ switched mouths a few more times before he finally felt bold enough to make a suggestion. \"R-... Red. You said you liked how my balls smell, right?\" \n\n\"Yeah...\" she agreed.\n\n\"Well, imagine how good they [u]taste[/u]!\" he said helpfully, almost expecting to get punched instead.\n\nRazz thought about it for a moment, as if she'd never even considered it, then eagerly set after his fat, swollen testicles, brazenly taking them into her mouth, then sucking on them earnestly as if trying to soften up a pair of musky jawbreakers. \"Mmmh... mmnh... hhhmnh. <3\"\n\nSomething overtook him. He couldn't believe this was happening, but just in case it wasn't, he wouldn't hold back. Jake put a hand on either side of Blue's face, surprising her, before pulling her even further down on him. She gulped down inch after disappearing inch, no gag reflex to stop her, the girth of it bulging her throat. It was amazing. In the first place, he wasn't quite sure how she was able to open a mouth that seemed to be entirely drawn on her big balloon head. But when she did, it transported his member to a snug place with slick tunnels and lots of little tactile differences the further in he went.\n\nThe adorable rubber girls made all kinds of cute little sounds as they made a production of sucking cock. Jake grabbed Dazzle's pigtails and began fucking her mouth in earnest, adding to the muffled squeals and feminine grunts a rhythmic rubbery squeaking sound that made him even harder than before. Razz responded to this by arching her back further, her head directly below him as she hung onto his thighs in a power-slide position. Her cheeks bulged with the bulk of his cum-bloated balls- which, he noted delightedly, he could feel touching his thighs through said cheeks- but she continued to suck on them, those cartoonish swells moving up and down with a ~thucka-thucka-thuck~\n\n\"Unh, oh, oh fuck, oh god!\" Jake trembled, unable to sustain any semblance of control. He pulled out of Daz's throat without fully withdrawing, then pressed his erection in and upward, a cartoonish dent appearing in the back of her head as his climax- backed up with what felt like years of blue balls- rocked his whole body.\n\n\"Mmnh?\" She seemed to ask. ~BLFSH~ \"Mmph!\" The rubber chipmunk's ink-on-rubber eyes widened in surprise as a torrent of cum gushed into her mouth. \"Hhhnmph!\" The milky white jizz filled her mouth full, bulging her cheeks outward. Then again. \"Mmph!\" Then again. \"Nmph!\" Then again! \"MMNH!\" She almost seemed distressed by the time he finished, her cheeks now enormously full, stretched like balloons and pressing between her face and his hips, which thankfully pulled away.\n\n\"Ahhhhh...\" He sighed with great relief, pulling out of Daz's mouth and noting that she had an absolutely absurd amount of cum in her chipmunk cheeks; he felt perversely proud that she seemed a little overwhelmed by it. However, he wouldn't have called what happened next, as Razz pulled her into a kiss, locking lips with her.\n\nThe pleased, approving coos that came out of them as they swapped cum and spit and tongue jabs were enough to make him wish he could still have been aroused to like it just that much more. Both of their mouths bulging still just a bit, they swished his creamy sperm around from cheek to cheek before finally loudly gulping it down, each of them letting out a satisfied sigh of refreshment. \"Ahhhh~\"\n\nJake's cock twitched with that last little bit, even limp as he was. \"Wow. That... was awesome,\" he said lamely, flush-faced and still in some level of shock over the whole affair.\n\n\"It... it sure did happen.\" Daz blushed and grinned, embarrassed. \"On the plus side, I can already feel my powers coming back; it worked!\"\n\n\"Yeah. Hoo. Wow. Okay.\" Razz licked her lips. \"Either all guys are keeping this a secret and I don't know why... or you should see a doctor, Jake, because your jizz tastes like birthday cake.\"\n\n\"Right??\" Daz agreed. \"Like actual real party-frosting cupcakes, with the little round sprinkles you can't ever find anywhere.\"\n\n\"R-... Really?\" Jake gingerly reached down, thumbed a small layer of seed from his foreskin and brought it to his tongue... regretting it immediately. \"Ugh. That is not cake.\" He patted his belly. \"And [i]I know[/i] what cake tastes like.\"\n\n\"That's really weird...\" Dazzle sat back against the couch as Jake bashfully put his junk away, getting his pants on. \"... Hey. Maybe this is some sort of aspect of the bodies themselves.\"\n\n\"Whaddya mean?\" Razz inquired.\n\n\"I mean that perhaps these bodies distort the way we perceive the world so that certain things- like anything having to do with sex- are all 'sweetened,' literally and metaphorically.\"\n\n\"Gosh, you think so?\" asked Jake as he zipped his pants back up.\n\n\"Sure!\" she nodded. \"It makes sense if you think about it. If you're making a living sex doll, you want it to really like sex. I mean, enough that if you could take out every possible bad part, you would. Right?\"\n\n\"Hm.\" Red thought about it a moment. \"Well. It's not like I'm gonna bat for the other team anytime soon, but if I have to do it to keep my powers...\" She pounded a fist into her open hand, the impact of her super-powered punch sending shockwaves through her gelatinous body. \"... I can go straight-for-pay.\"",
  "writing_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>&quot;You won&#039;t pass us, ya doity goils!&quot; uttered the gravelly voice of a short, demonic rat with glowing yellow eyes, hoisting a spear toward his opponents as at least a dozen identical individuals to him did the same. They, as did their enemies, stood on water, invisible platforms supporting their weight.<br /><br />&quot;Demon rats... from Jersey?&quot; A reddish-pink raccoon/rabbit hybrid laughed as she stepped forward with liesurely insistence, cracking her knuckles. &quot;Von Zeppelin spared every expense, eh Daz?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;You know it, Razz.&quot; A light blue chipmunk floated overhead. &quot;Also, dirty? That&#039;s rich coming from you guys, yeesh. Even a little dry cleaning might do you some good.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Get &#039;em!&quot; They cried, and the battle began. Though calling it a &#039;battle&#039; was being outright charitable; Razzle punched through the entire group in one swing, sending them sprawling like bowling pins; three fell in the lake. The ones that remained, Dazzle pushed overboard with a telekinetic force blast.<br /><br />One final rat remained, cowering, which Razz picked up by the collar. &quot;Where&#039;s your boss?&quot; she asked casually.<br /><br />&quot;I ain&#039;t tellin&#039; you nuttin&#039;! Go &#039;head &#039;n kill me, I ain&#039;t afraid!&quot; he shouted unconvincingly.<br /><br />&quot;No need!&quot; Daz retorted cheerfully, putting a hand on his forehead. &quot;Let&#039;s just get inside those filthy brainmeats of yoooours... ah ha! He&#039;s in the pinnacle. Probably doesn&#039;t know we&#039;re here.&quot; She looked down at him. &quot;Oh, and no, Razzle&#039;s ass is all-natural.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Man!&quot; The strawberry bunnycoon griped, tossing the remaining rat into the lake. &quot;You&#039;re the one with the tits, why am I always getting accused of having implants?&quot;<br /><br />They burst into the keep, the castle becoming visible once they crossed the threshold into a monstrous foyer. A huge slime wearing a roman centurion&#039;s helmet called out &quot;ATTACK!&quot; and dozens of shambling corpses came forth.<br /><br />&quot;Ew! Super gross!&quot; Razz opened her palm and threw an energy blast into the lot of them, scattering a few and forcing the others to regroup. They quickly swarmed her, forcing Daz to fly up.<br /><br />&quot;Are you okay in there??&quot; asked the psychic.<br /><br />&quot;It smells so fucking bad in here! ERAUGH!!&quot; She punched the stone floor, sending a web of cracks through it. A second later, the entire floor collapsed, falling into a deep dark chasm, and all of the zombies with it.<br /><br />&quot;Overkill much?&quot; snickered Dazzle, who held her partner in crime fighting aloft in a light blue psychic bubble.<br /><br />&quot;They were gonna get their dead on my clothes,&quot; she shrugged. They made their way up the stairs, standing before the immense double doors. &quot;Alright, time to bust into- ah!&quot;<br /><br />A strange four-eared lizardman and a white-clad ninja cat cross-cut against Razz&#039;s back, slicing an &#039;X&#039; in her costume. &quot;Hah! Didn&#039;t see that coming, didja?!&quot; taunted the knife-wielding bangaa.<br /><br />&quot;Are you serious?&quot; Razz sent a haymaker right for Shiroga&#039;s face, but the cat swiftly dodged it. Meanwhile, Carmine threw a rock at Daz to try to clip her metaphorical wings.<br /><br />&quot;You will not reach Boss-sama!&quot; Shiro sliced at Razzle frantically, deftly dodging her pugilistic counterattacks and power-sliding underneath her. She turned and brought the blade down!<br /><br />&quot;Hah!&quot; Razz caught it between her fingers. &quot;I saw this in an anime! BAM.&quot; She threw Shiroga across the room, slapping her against the stone wall and sending the sword after.<br /><br />&quot;Ugh... s-so much stronger than usual!&quot; Shiroga noted with a wince. &quot;Surprise round is over!&quot; She grabbed the sword, cut into the wall and stepped through a strange dark portal before it closed.<br /><br />Carmine looked back at the fleeing Shiroga. &quot;Uh... shit. AH!&quot; He cried out in surprise when Razzle kicked the back of his legs, bringing him to his knees as she held him there.<br /><br />&quot;Now, then, let&#039;s see what secrets you hold, hm?&quot; Dazzle put a hand on his forehead and shut her eyes. &quot;... Boy, I can read you like a book. A filthy pop-up book. Ah!&quot; She took her hand off of Carmine&#039;s head, which caused him to collapse. &quot;I know where he is. Also, apparently you&#039;re in &#039;best ass&#039; competition with Blastcannon.&quot;<br /><br />Razz rolled her eyes. &quot;Ugh, like I even-... Blastcannon, really? Isn&#039;t she the C-tier who f-... whatever.&quot; She kicked the door down, running up the stairs. She barreled through another door, which opened up into the pinnacle of the castle, in the middle of which was a giant burbling boiler pot of some kind, and a certain inverse raccoon standing atop a stepladder looking into it. &quot;It&#039;s over, Von Zeppelin!&quot; she yelled dramatically.<br /><br />&quot;... What?&quot; He looked around cluelessly. &quot;What&#039;s over? What&#039;s going on?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Don&#039;t play dumb!&quot; Daz retorted. &quot;This is Razzle, and I&#039;m Dazzle! We are The Spectacles! And the League of Sentries sent us to stop you.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Stop... me from what?&quot; He stepped down from the stepladder. &quot;I haven&#039;t done anything in a week at least.&quot;<br /><br />Razz sneered. &quot;Yeah. I&#039;m sure that thing is just your lunch. The League told us everything! About how you&#039;re plotting to use that to transform innocent people into horrible monsters!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;... What, this?&quot; He thumbed toward the giant pot. &quot;No, this is-&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Save it for the judge, Von Zeppelin!&quot; Razz grinned. &quot;&#039;Cause your whole scheme&#039;s about to get <em>smashed.</em>&quot;<br /><br />=<br />|<br />=<br /><br />[A Week Later...]<br /><br />&quot;Thanks, Laverne!&quot; A portly skunk boy cheerily said to the octogenarian at the post office. She returned a low &quot;Yeah, sure, kid&quot; or something similar before going back to her electronic pocket poker game as the heavyset male made his way out with a somewhat large box. Locating his moped in the parking lot, he strapped it carefully to the vehicle, put his helmet on and rode away, the headphones in it blasting some variety of upbeat J-pop song.<br /><br />The sun was shining, the grass was blowing in the breeze, and Jacob wasn&#039;t going to care about a single moment of it. He nearly skipped all the way to his eighth story apartment after locking his vehicle away. &quot;Hello Sandy!&quot; he greeted his duck girl neighbor, who returned the greeting with an odd quirk of the brow. &quot;Everything is a-okay, it&#039;s fine with me today~&quot; he sang, stumbling to remember which key it was to open the door, then coming inside and pushing the door shut with his ample bottom.<br /><br />He shut the curtains, turned on all the lights and set the box on the bed of his one-bedroom apartment. &quot;Careful, now, don&#039;t want to accidentally hurt you cuties!&quot; He notched the boxcutter down to a tiny wedge and carefully opened the cardboard box, removing sheets of bubble wrap with a ridiculous amount of care. &quot;Ahhhh!&quot;<br /><br />What he pulled out of the box were two folded squares of shiny material, one a reddish pink, the other a powdery blue. &quot;Ohhhh, they&#039;re so vibrant! I didn&#039;t expect that. Well, it&#039;s custom work, after all. One of a kind, and they&#039;re all mine!&quot; He giggled, almost deliriously happy as he gently unfolded each of them. They formed vaguely humanoid shapes. &quot;There you are, girls!&quot; He grinned from ear to ear. &quot;My very own Razzle &amp; Dazzle super girl power team love dolls... they look great, even deflated! Oooh.&quot; He took a closer look at their heads, which featured extremely simplistic inkblot-style eyes and mouths- Razz with a smiling but aggressive face, and Daz with a much more passive, happy one. &quot;Simplicity and style! I actually like it better. And you put their costumes on them so that I could be surprised. RubberLover241, you are an <span class='underline'>artist</span>. I bow to you.&quot; He laughed softly. &quot;Well, cuties, how about we get some air in you, huh?&quot; The skunk boy stepped out of his pants, getting down to just his undies, where a definite noticeable chub was being worked on.<br /><br />Jacob had always loved rubbery things. As a kid, he liked to play with rubber bands, bouncy balls, stretch-arm dolls and all other assorted things. But what he <em>really</em> liked were balloons. The feel of the material, the way inflation changed the way it behaved- there were so many things that he enjoyed about it. &quot;Alright, easy... ~Ffffft~&quot; He used deep, controlled breaths to inflate Razz. &quot;In through the nose, out through the mouth.&quot; Amateurs would use every breath they had to try to inflate things, and would inevitably end up gasping from it, but he&#039;d worked out a good rhythm over the years that let him blow things up without trouble.<br /><br />Once the strawberry bunnycoon was fully inflated, he took a moment to appreciate her. &quot;Wooow...&quot; His fingers played over the material. At first it felt like vinyl- cheap pool toy stuff- but filling the bad girl bruiser&#039;s replica with air had done wonderful things for the texture of her rubbery surface, giving it a feel somewhere between a somewhat taut but pliable week-old party balloon and the kind of sensory rubber they put in adult pleasure tools. It was delightful to touch. &quot;Haha, geez... almost like a traditional sex toy. Oh! Speaking of which, did they include the-&quot; he patted her fabric-covered crotch twice, feeling a thick, soft mound between her thighs. &quot;Yep! Love sleeve included.&quot; He rubbed his hand over its slight bulge a moment, and almost thought he heard air escaping somehow. Odd. Didn&#039;t seem to be a leak.<br /><br />&quot;Alright, Red.&quot; He gently placed her in a sitting position among some pillows. &quot;I&#039;m just gonna touch your girlfriend long enough to blow her up, so don&#039;t get mad, okay~?&quot; He giggled playfully. &quot;~Pssshhht~ Don&#039;t worry though. ~Pssssssht~ Pretty soon ~Psssssht~ we&#039;ll all be friends-with- benefits anyway. ~Pssssht~&quot; He took a moment to un-rumple some of Daz&#039;s outfit as he reveled in his extremely self-indulgent fantasy. &quot;Don&#039;t worry, girls. I won&#039;t tell anyone that after a long day of fighting crime, sometimes the only way you can get rid of all that tension is to ride a chubby skunk nerd&#039;s big, fat dick. &lt;3&quot;<br /><br />He sat Daz up on his other side and hugged them both to his soft form, their curves molding to his bigger middle. &quot;Mm. Wow.&quot; He took another moment to admire the craftsmanship. &quot;Whoever modeled your breasts, Blue, they got it just right. That perfect perk and weightiness. And Red!<br />Ohhh, your butt is just the biggest, I&#039;m gonna bury my whole face in it!&quot; He giggled. He couldn&#039;t help but wonder if it was a little bit wrong to have such overt sexual fantasies about his friends like this. &quot;I can&#039;t help it, though... plus, they haven&#039;t been back from that top secret mission in like a week!&quot; He genuinely missed them, perverted secret aside. &quot;Well, girls. I feel the need for some snuggles now. Plus, I want at least a day&#039;s worth of stamina build-up before we go all the way!&quot;<br /><br />Jacob carefully laid the Razz doll down, then nestled Daz in front of it in a spooning position. &quot;A nap in the middle of the day; how decadent. ... But not as decadent as a pair of hot, awesome superhero lesbians in my bed~!&quot; He flumped down into it and immediately wrapped his arms around them both, shutting his eyes with a contented sigh.<br /><br />=<br />|<br />=<br /><br />&quot;Mmh...&quot; It was dark. Jacob immediately noticed this and grumbled about messing up his schedule. The second thing he noticed, however, was something he&#039;d grown used to until today: his bed was empty. &quot;Eh??&quot;<br /><br />Could it have been a burglar?? Those dolls were worth good money, but no crackhead busting in for a pawnable haul would&#039;ve known that. Plus, all of his figurines and other collectibles were still there... as was his wallet, on the computer desk. &quot;Uh... okay...?&quot; After a few moments of looking under the bed, in the closet and elsewhere in the room, the very confused skunk&#039;s ear twitched. There was someone in the kitchen!<br /><br />He grabbed his sword off the wall- a replica for display purposes and the only weapon he owned- and slowly made his way into the hallway. He crept with a sense of dread, hearing a furious conversation.<br /><br />&quot;Look, I don&#039;t know what kind of cop you think you are, but I&#039;m telling you I&#039;ve been turned into... something! Yes, Razzle. Yes, <em>that </em>one. Ugh, I don&#039;t remember my SupReg number! Come on, just-... he hung up.&quot;<br />&quot;Oh, geez. I knew we should&#039;ve memorized those.&quot;<br /><br />When Jacob looked around the corner into the brightly lit kitchen, he couldn&#039;t believe what he was seeing! His toys- his Razzle &amp; Dazzle love dolls- were standing around, talking to each other! The one that resembled Razz hung up his cell phone and put it on the counter.<br /><br />Daz looked up at him, and Razz followed. &quot;... Seriously? A keyblade?&quot; the rubber bunnycoon gave him an &#039;are you serious&#039; expression.<br /><br />&quot;Hi, Jake.&quot; Daz greeted him.<br /><br />His eyes grew wide and he fell backward, his comical cartoon weapon thumping to the floor. &quot;W-... H-... How are you moving?? What... What are you?!&quot;<br /><br />Razz deadpanned. &quot;You recognized us pretty well when you were side-huggin&#039; us as your brand new rubber bitches.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I-... I don&#039;t understand, you&#039;re just dolls! I ordered you off the internet!&quot;<br /><br />Daz sighed. &quot;Jake, we&#039;re the real Razzle and Dazzle. You know, Maxine and Dinah? Red and Blue? We sat next to each other on the bus all the time? You&#039;re the only one who knows our real names??&quot;<br /><br />Jacob paused for a few moments. &quot;Red? Blue? Ohmigod I&#039;m so glad you&#039;re okay! I was trying not to think about it but what a relief! W-... Why are you rubber?&quot;<br /><br />Red threw up her hands. &quot;That&#039;s the question now, isn&#039;t it? There&#039;s a bunch of them we don&#039;t know, as it turns out! Like: why can&#039;t we use our powers?&quot;<br />&quot;Why don&#039;t we remember the past week?&quot;<br />&quot;Why is the League of Sentries pretending like they don&#039;t know who we are?&quot;<br />&quot;Why does the newspaper report on Doctor Von Zeppelin&#039;s involvement in the mission but never mention us?&quot;<br />&quot;How many times was Jake going to fuck us before he realized we were his actual friends?&quot;<br /><br />Jake&#039;s mouth went dry as his face locked in horror. He&#039;d almost forgotten about that. &quot;A-... I-... Ahahahahaha! Thaaaat? Ohoho, nooo, that&#039;s- I wouldn&#039;t- that is not what this... no! I- It was just a joke! A laugh, a funny- I like to play jokes on myself sometimes that&#039;s definitely-...yeah!&quot;<br /><br />Blue seemed like she wanted to believe it, but Red refused to even play along, according to her annoyed frown.<br /><br />&quot;Ohmigod you guys I&#039;m <em>so </em>sorry. You have to believe I&#039;d never have done this if I knew it was going to be actually you! I&#039;m so embarrassed right now...&quot;<br /><br />Red still seemed mad, but Blue sighed. &quot;Look, I think we&#039;re all just a little on edge for obvious reasons. Razz, we&#039;ve been through a lot, but there&#039;s no point punishing our best friend for that. Jake? Ehm... I... think we&#039;re all sorry we saw that. Why don&#039;t we just pretend we didn&#039;t and focus on what&#039;s important?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Yeah. Like nailing the creep that did this to us!&quot; Razz pounded a fist into her hand. &quot;Look out VonZeppelin, you&#039;re going down! To the streets!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Uhm.&quot; Jake stood slowly. &quot;Not to rain on your parade, but they already arrested him, two days after the incident.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;... Oh.&quot; Red looked at Blue. &quot;... To the Internet!&quot;<br /><br />=<br />|<br />=<br /><br />&quot;I can&#039;t believe I&#039;m helping you guys out with super-stuff,&quot; Jake noted, getting set up on his computer as they stood to either side of him. &quot;You guys never let me near your cape work!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Whaddya mean?&quot; Razz sniffed. &quot;We ask you for hacker-help all the time while we&#039;re on the job.&quot;<br /><br />He rolled his eyes. &quot;And about 5% of the time it&#039;s actual hacker stuff. Most of the time I&#039;m just using Google. I&#039;ve just never been, you know, around you when stuff happens! Even if it is just Skyping into a prison cell. By the way, wow. You can Skype into a prison cell now?&quot;<br /><br />Daz nodded. &quot;It&#039;s just for supervillains, in case we need to defuse something they set up through their cohorts or need information about other villains. Oh! I think it&#039;s working.&quot;<br /><br />On the computer screen, a slightly compressed image of a feminine raccoon boy lying on a bed in a prison jumpsuit appeared. &quot;Greets and meets! Let me guess, you found me through my bourbon steak recipe on Pinterest.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Doctor Von Zeppelin...&quot; Jake took a second to get used to it; he&#039;d never called a supervillain before.<br /><br />&quot;In the flesh! And there&#039;s so much. But not as much as you, eh loverboy?&quot; He grinned as a huge hand rested on his hips, which he batted away girlishly. &quot;Roscoe! You&#039;re such a Pushy Pauline; I&#039;m on the face phone thing. So, to what do I owe this pleasure?&quot;<br /><br />Razz and Daz came into view, staring at him.<br /><br />&quot;Oh my! I thought you two were dead. Well bravo on surviving that blast; I nearly didn&#039;t myself.&quot; <br /><br />&quot;What happened to us??&quot; Red pushed.<br /><br />He rudely took a bite of a sandwich. &quot;Welp,&quot; he said between chewing, &quot;Looks to me, Jigglebutt, like you got turned into a really grumpy rubber cock sock, as did your friend.&quot; He chortled. &quot;Are they all this easy? I&#039;m gonna ace this quiz~&quot;<br /><br />Red grit her teeth, Jake tried not to think about all those things he&#039;d just called his friend, but Blue looked thoughtful. &quot;So it was your device that did this?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;No, I&#039;m sure your fairy godmother just granted your secret desire to be a walking marital aid. Of course it was my device! Did becoming airheads actually work metaphorically too?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Zeppelin you better tell us how to reverse this!&quot; Red threatened.<br /><br />&quot;Or what, squeak cheeks? You gonna throw me in jail?&quot; He laughed richly. &quot;Maybe go Punisher on me? Oh that&#039;d look amazing. &#039;Rubber psycho kills fem boy for sassing her.&#039;&quot;<br /><br />Daz frowned. &quot;Please, we just want to get back to defending the city. Deep down inside, you don&#039;t really seem like such a bad guy...&quot;<br /><br />He sighed, deadpan. &quot;Really? Shameless tug at the heartstrings?&quot; <br /><br />She smiled and nodded hopefully.<br /><br />&quot;Fiiine.&quot; He rolled his eyes. &quot;Well unfortunately for you two, there&#039;s a major problem with reversing the process. That problem being that the thing that most likely made you that way in the first place- the alchemical pressure cooker that took me months to make, which by the way was constructed to <span class='underline'>make</span> rubber people, not transform them- is now a pile of worthless scrap iron. You heroes don&#039;t even think about the things you destroy until they&#039;re gone.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Can you build another one?&quot; Red pressed.<br /><br />&quot;F- haha! ...First of all. Even if you asked me nicely, I would say &#039;no.&#039; Secondly, if I somehow decided that I really liked the two jerks who got me thrown in prison on a million trumped up charges- spoilers, I don&#039;t!- I still couldn&#039;t do it, thanks to said prison, and said charges.&quot; He yawned. &quot;And to answer your next two questions-slash-threats, you can&#039;t bully my minions into doing it because they&#039;re idiots who can&#039;t prepare Pop-Tarts without instructions, and no, none of your goody-goody magic hero friends would know how to make the cooker- much less be willing to make the sacrifices necessary to do so. Anything else~?&quot; he asked with saccharine sweetness.<br /><br />Blue frowned. &quot;Is there <em>any</em> way to get back our superpowers?&quot;<br /><br />He thought about it. &quot;Hm. Your powers, if I recall, are scientific in nature. But everything about you is translated into magical focus. And the only way for golems- that&#039;s what you technically are now, by the way- the only way for golems to use magic is to be given it by outside sources. Just telling some wizard &#039;hey, magic me!&#039; is going to give you incredibly lackluster results, but fortunately for you, your bodies are equipped with a catalyst engine. However, like most engines, it only runs on one thing: in this case, the sexual passion of an adoring male.&quot;<br /><br />Red&#039;s fur would have stood on end, if she had any. &quot;A-Are you serious?! What kind of jacked up porno logic is that?? And just male? Typical...&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Yes, pumpkin, that&#039;s why they&#039;re called sex toys; because they&#039;re made for one sex!&quot; He laughed as the hand reappeared and clutched at his chest. &quot;Oop! Roscoe&#039;s unable to contain himself. See ya kiddies; it&#039;s been fun~!&quot;<br /><br />=<br />|<br />=<br /><br />In the dark of night, rain poured down at a steady pace against the stucco of the apartment&#039;s balcony- one of the few luxuries it featured. Red leaned against the railing, staring out at the city with eyes made for being seen, yet capable of seeing. She ran a hand over her flesh again, still entranced by its smooth alien surface. What mysteries did this new form hold? When would she be able to turn back again? There were so many questions.<br /><br />&quot;So... what do you think you&#039;re gonna do now?&quot; Jake came through the sliding glass door as innocuously as he could.<br /><br />&quot;... Well. Top priority would be uncovering why this happened in the first place. Zep was as in the dark as we were; that suggests another player. I think the first order of business is to get back to our hideout. Think you can get us there?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Oh yeah, of course. Anything for you guys.&quot; He smiled genuinely. &quot;It&#039;ll be a tight fit, but I can make it work!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Thanks, Jake.&quot; She smirked before turning back toward the rain. The intense stare almost would have looked silly on her ink-on-rubber face, but something about her posture sold it. &quot;... Hey.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Enh, yeah?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;So you know I&#039;m into girls, right?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;E-Ehm. Well, yeah. I mean, you&#039;ve made it pretty clear. What with your off-and-on relationship with Daz.&quot;<br /><br />She looked at him a few moments with a pregnant pause, then a mischievous grin came to her. &quot;But I guess in your fantasies, I&#039;m not, huh?&quot;<br /><br />He flushed, his ears burning with shame. &quot;Red, please, I&#039;m still completely mortified about this afternoon.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;C&#039;mon, you can&#039;t ask me to just leave it alone!&quot; She folded her arms. &quot;We&#039;re all gonna be thinking about it unless we talk it out. So are you like... <em>into</em> me...?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;No,&quot; he sighed in frustration. &quot;I just wanna be friends, I promise!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Heh, &#039;friends with benefits,&#039; right?&quot; She snickered as he winced. &quot;Making an exception for good old Jake.&quot;<br /><br />He bit his lip. &quot;I&#039;m really sorry; I guess that&#039;s pretty arrogant, even for a fantasy.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Nah.&quot; She turned away again, watching the rain as she bent forward over the railing a bit to lose herself in the downpour. &quot;I get it.&quot;<br /><br />He blinked. &quot;You... you do?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Yeah. Sure. There&#039;s someone I had a crush on back in the day, and I wished they weren&#039;t straight. But... sometimes it&#039;s nice to pretend. It&#039;s just a fantasy, after all.&quot; There was a small pause. &quot;Hey. Jake. Are you tired?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Huh? Well, no. I mean I did just get up a little while ago.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;No. I mean... tired of sitting on the sidelines. Do you wanna help us really nail whoever&#039;s behind all this?&quot;<br /><br />His eyes lit up. &quot;Do... do you really mean it??&quot;<br /><br />She smirked. &quot;Yeah, I mean it. Now come on! Let&#039;s start getting our stuff together.&quot;<br /><br />=<br />|<br />=<br /><br />If Jake was cautious on his motored scooter normally, the fact of having driven ten miles in pouring rain with not one, but two passengers had shot his nerves completely. His knees were still wobbling by the time he stepped in through the secret passageway.<br /><br />&quot;Ah, home sweet home~&quot; Blue sighed contentedly. &quot;At least nobody seems to have touched this place.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;You guys relax; I&#039;m gonna go blow off some steam,&quot; Red noted absently, disappearing down stairs.<br /><br />The place was not unlike the Bat Cave in many ways, many strange rooms connected by a subterranean hub. However, each branching room had a very modern look to it. Jake had seen the place a few times- mostly when they called him to set up the internet. &quot;Well. Weird night, huh?&quot; He laughed nervously.<br /><br />&quot;Boy, you said it Jake-o.&quot; The chipmunk was already deep in thought over the matter, sitting at a round dining table somewhat off from the kitchen.<br /><br />&quot;Hey.&quot; The skunk boy smirked, putting a hand on her shoulder. &quot;You know, you don&#039;t have to act tough for the rest of us. It&#039;d be okay if you freaked out a little; even I&#039;m freaked out.&quot;<br /><br />She sighed, laughing a little. &quot;Thanks for looking out for me. I always get this way when I&#039;m too close to a case; maybe I should unwind a little.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Yeah!&quot; he agreed. &quot;I&#039;ll fix us a snack.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Okay.&quot; Dazzle smiled and watched Jake walk away, enjoying the look of his thick, oddly feminine butt with only the smallest mote of shame. &quot;One way or another, we gotta try to figure out who did all this.&quot; The rubber chipmunk thought about it. &quot;Do we have any archenemies with these kinds of resources? Can&#039;t think of any.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Nah, neither can I,&quot; Jake confirmed, setting down some toaster pastries. &quot;Technocrat, Garden Gloom, Fallsapart Frankie... none of them would have been able to orchestrate something like this. Wouldn&#039;t have any reason to, either; you&#039;re not the primary arches for any of them.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Hm. I guess we&#039;ll need to do some footwork, then.&quot; She looked at her friend, who stared at his treat, having eaten only a bite of it. &quot;... Jake? Is there something wrong?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Huh? Oh, uh. N-... Nothing.&quot; He saw her insistent look. &quot;It&#039;s selfish, don&#039;t worry about it.&quot;<br /><br />Blue smiled graciously. &quot;Aw, Jake. C&#039;mon. I&#039;m the mind reader, remember? I&#039;ve seen everyone&#039;s naked thoughts, I know the way people are; I&#039;m not gonna judge my best friend Jakey~&quot; she trilled cutely at the end.<br /><br />He sighed, unable to not smirk a little. &quot;Well. I guess I&#039;m just a little bummed out. I mean, you guys had this happen to you, we don&#039;t know how to fix it, and I paid a ton of money just to get scammed out of two awesome toys...&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Heh.&quot; She grinned a little. &quot;Sorry your fantasy got cut short, Jake-o, I know you liked it a lot.&quot; <br /><br />The skunk blushed. &quot;So you knew the whole time, huh?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Yeah.&quot; Blue nodded. &quot;Don&#039;t sweat it! Every guy has the lesbian threesome fantasy,&quot; she said in her consistently chipper &#039;attaboy&#039; tone. &quot;If I weren&#039;t telepathic or hadn&#039;t been turned into a skeevy blowup doll, I never would&#039;ve known! You followed proper BFF procedure; no harm, no foul.&quot; She nodded decisively.<br /><br />Jake smirked. &quot;... Thanks, Blue. ... So. You think, uh. Maybe...&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Nope. Notta chance, I&#039;m afraid,&quot; she shrugged apologetically, if unseriously so. &quot;Razz is a raging lesbo and I can&#039;t cum from fucking.&quot; She paused. &quot;Was that an overshare? I figured evening out our &#039;way too intimate sex info&#039; count would make it less awkward.&quot;<br /><br />He laughed, polishing off his pastry. &quot;No, no. It&#039;s fine. So you can&#039;t... from the traditional...?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Nope,&quot; Daz admitted. &quot;I have the most demanding vajayjay in the universe. Takes me an hour at least. Vibes, music, nipple clips and buttplugs!&quot; she announced in her dorky, nasally voice before snorting. &quot;Sorry if I&#039;m givin&#039; you a boner.&quot;<br /><br />Jake only shook his head and smiled. &quot;You haven&#039;t stopped giving me a boner since the sixth grade...&quot; He was embarrassed to admit it, but there was no use hiding things from Daz.<br /><br />She snickered. &quot;We have gotta get you a girlfriend besides that body pillow.&quot; <br /><br />&quot;OH MY GOD. This is a disaster!!&quot;<br /><br />Jake and Daz blinked, looking up at Razz as she descended the stairs in an angry huff. &quot;What&#039;s going on??&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Not my punches!&quot; she retorted, throwing her fist into Jake&#039;s arm with a ~THUPF~ <br /><br />&quot;Ah!&quot; The skunk blinked. &quot;Oh. Huh, that didn&#039;t really hurt at all.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;See?!&quot; Red grit her teeth. &quot;This is horrible! It&#039;s bad enough I have no powers; if I can&#039;t throw a decent punch I might as well fight back with cheese whiz!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Ooh.&quot; Daz considered it. &quot;Normally I&#039;d say you&#039;re overreacting, but if we can&#039;t even defend ourselves, then that is a problem.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Jake.&quot; Razz huffed. &quot;You know a lot about balloons and shit, right? Tell me you&#039;ve got a fix for this or something??&quot;<br /><br />He blinked thoughtfully. &quot;... Actually... I just might.&quot;<br /><br />=<br />|<br />=<br /><br />After a short trip to the local supermarket and some haphazard math, Razz and Daz stood to either side of an oil barrel full of pink goo that Jake stirred with a bath brush. &quot;Are you sure about this?&quot; Red queried, looking uncertainly at the concoction.<br /><br />&quot;Positive,&quot; he confirmed. &quot;In my... experiments with filling balloons, air doesn&#039;t have enough mass and leaves you taut and tight. Water&#039;s way too heavy and will make you two feet tall and pear-shaped.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;More than usual,&quot; teased Blue.<br /><br />&quot;Jello has the best properties to simulate flesh! So when you punch somebody with this behind you, it should pack a whallop!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;If you say so. I guess.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Aaaand that should do it!&quot; Jake taste-tested the mixture and nodded in approval. &quot;Now just drink it, and we can start part two!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Ugh, I have to drink liquid jello?&quot; She winced, grabbing the sink hose that had been repurposed for this. &quot;Maaan. Why me?&quot; Razz put the hose to her lips and sucked on the stuff, gulping it down hesitantly.<br /><br />&quot;Easy does it,&quot; Jake instructed. &quot;Let the air out of your nose as you drink.&quot; <br /><br />Razz stopped drinking for a moment. &quot;You sure know a lot about this.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Oh, sure!&quot; he confirmed. &quot;When I ordered the dolls, I went over the specifications for like a week beforehand. I know everything about your bodies!&quot;<br /><br />Red gave him an incredulous look as she slowly put the hose back in her mouth.<br /><br />&quot;Ha! Don&#039;t be that way, they were supposed to be his toys, it&#039;s not that weird.&quot; Blue snickered. &quot;Besides, it&#039;s good that he&#039;s got all this knowledge; we&#039;re gonna need it to figure this out.&quot;<br /><br />Razz dropped the hose in the sink, letting out a belch and a wince. &quot;Drinking that much feels weird.&quot;<br /><br />Blue smiled. &quot;Well, maybe you&#039;ll feel better after it sets. In the meantime, Jake and I are gonna see if we can get any details on this person he ordered us from.&quot;<br /><br />=<br />|<br />=<br /><br />A doorbell rang in a one-room apartment. A scruffy-looking forty-something pelican rose from his chair, puzzled. &quot;Who in the world...&quot;<br /><br />When he opened his front door, a chubby skunk in a long jacket and ball cap stood in the doorway. &quot;... Are you RubberLover241?&quot;<br /><br />The man blinked, taken aback. &quot;... Who are you??&quot;<br /><br />Jake pressed the toe of his shoe against the bottom of the door. &quot;MrBigStuff. I ordered a couple of dolls from you, and there was something very wrong with my order.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;... A-Are you serious?&quot; The man was incredulous, taking a moment to bridge the gap between the virtual world and the real. &quot;And instead of emailing me, you came to my door like a goddamn internet detective?? What the hell is wrong with you?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;It&#039;s gonna pale in comparison to what&#039;s wrong with you in a second.&quot; Turning into the doorway from leaning against the wall, Razzle spun around and clocked the pelican directly in his head, her jello-filled fist smacking wetly against him and sending him to the floor in surprise.<br /><br />&quot;Ah! What-... what&#039;s going on??&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Who&#039;s your supplier?!&quot; she demanded, grabbing onto his collar.<br /><br />&quot;Jesus christ you can talk?!&quot; he yelled hysterically as Jake closed the door behind Dazzle.<br /><br />&quot;That&#039;s just the beginning of what I can do,&quot; she threatened. &quot;One such thing being throwing you in jail for a long time for human trafficking!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Suh-Stop please!&quot; he pleaded breathlessly. &quot;I have a heart condition!&quot;<br /><br />Razz rolled her eyes and let go of him. &quot;I&#039;m not taking my eye off of you, creep. What&#039;s your name?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;C-... Cyrus Bawree.&quot; He shivered as he slowly rose, having a bit of trouble lifting his bulk. &quot;Wh-... What are you??&quot;<br /><br />&quot;You should know; you&#039;re the one who sells things like this all the time, right?&quot; Blue asked cuttingly.<br /><br />&quot;I-...&quot; He stumbled. &quot;Usually I make all of the dolls m-... myself. I draw the patterns, c-cut the material, then seal the seams...&quot;<br /><br />But you didn&#039;t this time,&quot; Dazzle intuited, finding a place to stand in the small, cluttered apartment.<br /><br />&quot;No. I got a package on my doorstep that had... uh... y-you two in it. It didn&#039;t have a return address, but it said it was from a fan of my work.&quot; He winced. &quot;I swear I didn&#039;t know you were alive somehow... h-how could I?&quot;<br /><br />Razz shot Daz a look as if to say &#039;is he lying?&#039; She shrugged.<br /><br />&quot;Is this the package?&quot; Jake asked, picking up an empty box with a letter inside it that matched his description.<br /><br />The man nodded.<br /><br />&quot;Alright. Well don&#039;t leave town, Cyrus!&quot; Razz stomped off. &quot;Let&#039;s go.&quot;<br /><br />The terrorized pelican gathered up things he&#039;d knocked over slowly, and Dazzle lingered behind a moment. &quot;... You should try inversion seams. Much softer.&quot;<br /><br />He blinked. &quot;... Hm.&quot;<br /><br />=<br />|<br />=<br /><br />&quot;So what happens now?&quot; asked Jake from the edge of the couch in the rec room.<br /><br />Dazzle sighed thoughtfully. &quot;Well, I was hoping that our last lead would give us a little more information, but it seems like now we&#039;re up against a wall.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;So there&#039;s no way around it, huh?&quot; Razz posited.<br /><br />&quot;Nope. We&#039;re going to have to investigate Von Zeppelin&#039;s castle.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;And without superpowers or backup from the League of Sentries, that&#039;s a losing proposition.&quot;<br /><br />The skunk frowned at the silence as his two friends contemplated their conundrum. &quot;... I wish I could do something...&quot;<br /><br />Red chuckled. &quot;Heh, well, unless you can summon up an army or get us our powers back, I don&#039;t think there&#039;s a ton you can help with.&quot;<br /><br />Jake sat there, feeling small, the pressure to speak up overwhelming him. Voices in his mind warned him of the penalties of being too bold, but finally, he could sit silently no more. If he wouldn&#039;t take this chance, then he didn&#039;t deserve it. &quot;... But I <em>can</em> help you get your powers back.&quot;<br /><br />The two of them looked up at him with mild surprise.<br /><br />&quot;If the catalyst for the magic is what he said it is, then I might be the only one who can,&quot; he said, bolstering his case.<br /><br />Razz finally put together what he was talking about. &quot;Geez, c&#039;mon now, that&#039;s <em>really</em> desperate.&quot; <br /><br />It was the kind of response he&#039;d played back in his head many a time. &quot;... Exactly.&quot;<br /><br />Daz cocked a brow. &quot;Jake...?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I&#039;m a nerd. And a shut-in. And a pervert. These have all been negative things up to this point! But now...&quot; He pushed forward, trying desperately to hold onto his nerve. &quot;... Now, finally, maybe all those things can be <em>useful</em> to you instead of just something you tolerate. I wanna help you. I look up to you guys so hard, you have no idea.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Yeah. Rock hard,&quot; Red snickered.<br /><br />&quot;Yeah, I have intense sexual fantasies about you,&quot; he admitted. &quot;But you&#039;re my best friends, too! And my heroes. Von Zeppelin said you needed the sexual passion of an adoring male. Well... nobody adores you more than me.&quot; His cheeks were burning as he stood before them, baring it all. He was embarrassed, to be sure, but it was clear he meant every word.<br /><br />&quot;... Wow, Jake,&quot; responded Blue, softly. &quot;I dunno what to say.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;You don&#039;t have to say anything!&quot; He reached for his belt and undid it, which showed a tent in his pants as it dropped. &quot;It&#039;s your pride! I get it!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Uh!&quot; Daz blinked, startled by his bulge.<br /><br />&quot;I won&#039;t make you appeal to my ego in any way!&quot; He unzipped his pants and let them fall to the floor, his engorged foot long underwear bulge jutting from his hips rudely, a massive tent of white fabric censored by only a thin layer of cotton.<br /><br />Razz and Daz looked at each other from over the massive tentpole, their eyes wide.<br /><br />&quot;If you want, you can just close your eyes and I&#039;ll take care of- uh??&quot; When Jake opened his own eyes, he looked down to see Razz and Daz&#039;s rubber faces smiling like two felines in a jar of catnip, nuzzling his cloth-wrapped erection with what looked like genuine affection.<br /><br />&quot;Ohhhh, what&#039;s that amazing smell~?&quot; Blue sniffed the head of his cock through the fabric, tickling it and making him spurt a little glob of pre-cum that soaked through. &quot;Is that your dick, Jakey??&quot; Her nipples popped clear through her costume.<br /><br />&quot;Nnnh...&quot; Razz was sniffing intently at the daubed pre, lowering her head down until she absolutely buried her snout in the cleft of his balls, giving them a strong, stimulating sniffing. &quot;Ohmigod, that smells so fucking good...&quot; She shuddered.<br /><br />&quot;R-... Really??&quot; The skunk blinked, confused and thrilled. &quot;Ah! Nnh...&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Ugh, it&#039;s so pungent...&quot; Daz continued. &quot;It&#039;s hard to even think straight...&quot; Nevertheless, she dug her hands in the back of his underwear and pulled them down, his rock hard cock bouncing the moment it was freed.<br /><br />&quot;God damn, that&#039;s huge...&quot; The rubber bunnycoon smiled dreamily, her face gravitating toward the throbbing organ. &quot;Bigger than Blue&#039;s biggest dildo...&quot; Suddenly, she wrapped her lips around it and pushed down onto the thing, making Jake&#039;s legs wobble as he felt the sensation occur. It was unreal.<br /><br />&quot;Hey!&quot; Daz cut in, wrapping a hand around the base of it and pulling it her way, the thing popping out of Razz&#039;s mouth. &quot;You don&#039;t even like dicks.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I was learning to!&quot; Razz complained as Daz put the head in her mouth and genuinely sucked the rest of the shaft in, making all kinds of lewd sucking noises as she blew the huge skunk dick.<br /><br />&quot;Ahhhhfff!&quot; Jake, meanwhile, was absolutely stunned. Not only was he getting to have sex with Razzle and Dazzle both, but they were arguing over who got to suck his cock. His fat organ switched mouths a few more times before he finally felt bold enough to make a suggestion. &quot;R-... Red. You said you liked how my balls smell, right?&quot; <br /><br />&quot;Yeah...&quot; she agreed.<br /><br />&quot;Well, imagine how good they <span class='underline'>taste</span>!&quot; he said helpfully, almost expecting to get punched instead.<br /><br />Razz thought about it for a moment, as if she&#039;d never even considered it, then eagerly set after his fat, swollen testicles, brazenly taking them into her mouth, then sucking on them earnestly as if trying to soften up a pair of musky jawbreakers. &quot;Mmmh... mmnh... hhhmnh. &lt;3&quot;<br /><br />Something overtook him. He couldn&#039;t believe this was happening, but just in case it wasn&#039;t, he wouldn&#039;t hold back. Jake put a hand on either side of Blue&#039;s face, surprising her, before pulling her even further down on him. She gulped down inch after disappearing inch, no gag reflex to stop her, the girth of it bulging her throat. It was amazing. In the first place, he wasn&#039;t quite sure how she was able to open a mouth that seemed to be entirely drawn on her big balloon head. But when she did, it transported his member to a snug place with slick tunnels and lots of little tactile differences the further in he went.<br /><br />The adorable rubber girls made all kinds of cute little sounds as they made a production of sucking cock. Jake grabbed Dazzle&#039;s pigtails and began fucking her mouth in earnest, adding to the muffled squeals and feminine grunts a rhythmic rubbery squeaking sound that made him even harder than before. Razz responded to this by arching her back further, her head directly below him as she hung onto his thighs in a power-slide position. Her cheeks bulged with the bulk of his cum-bloated balls- which, he noted delightedly, he could feel touching his thighs through said cheeks- but she continued to suck on them, those cartoonish swells moving up and down with a ~thucka-thucka-thuck~<br /><br />&quot;Unh, oh, oh fuck, oh god!&quot; Jake trembled, unable to sustain any semblance of control. He pulled out of Daz&#039;s throat without fully withdrawing, then pressed his erection in and upward, a cartoonish dent appearing in the back of her head as his climax- backed up with what felt like years of blue balls- rocked his whole body.<br /><br />&quot;Mmnh?&quot; She seemed to ask. ~BLFSH~ &quot;Mmph!&quot; The rubber chipmunk&#039;s ink-on-rubber eyes widened in surprise as a torrent of cum gushed into her mouth. &quot;Hhhnmph!&quot; The milky white jizz filled her mouth full, bulging her cheeks outward. Then again. &quot;Mmph!&quot; Then again. &quot;Nmph!&quot; Then again! &quot;MMNH!&quot; She almost seemed distressed by the time he finished, her cheeks now enormously full, stretched like balloons and pressing between her face and his hips, which thankfully pulled away.<br /><br />&quot;Ahhhhh...&quot; He sighed with great relief, pulling out of Daz&#039;s mouth and noting that she had an absolutely absurd amount of cum in her chipmunk cheeks; he felt perversely proud that she seemed a little overwhelmed by it. However, he wouldn&#039;t have called what happened next, as Razz pulled her into a kiss, locking lips with her.<br /><br />The pleased, approving coos that came out of them as they swapped cum and spit and tongue jabs were enough to make him wish he could still have been aroused to like it just that much more. Both of their mouths bulging still just a bit, they swished his creamy sperm around from cheek to cheek before finally loudly gulping it down, each of them letting out a satisfied sigh of refreshment. &quot;Ahhhh~&quot;<br /><br />Jake&#039;s cock twitched with that last little bit, even limp as he was. &quot;Wow. That... was awesome,&quot; he said lamely, flush-faced and still in some level of shock over the whole affair.<br /><br />&quot;It... it sure did happen.&quot; Daz blushed and grinned, embarrassed. &quot;On the plus side, I can already feel my powers coming back; it worked!&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Yeah. Hoo. Wow. Okay.&quot; Razz licked her lips. &quot;Either all guys are keeping this a secret and I don&#039;t know why... or you should see a doctor, Jake, because your jizz tastes like birthday cake.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Right??&quot; Daz agreed. &quot;Like actual real party-frosting cupcakes, with the little round sprinkles you can&#039;t ever find anywhere.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;R-... Really?&quot; Jake gingerly reached down, thumbed a small layer of seed from his foreskin and brought it to his tongue... regretting it immediately. &quot;Ugh. That is not cake.&quot; He patted his belly. &quot;And <em>I know</em> what cake tastes like.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;That&#039;s really weird...&quot; Dazzle sat back against the couch as Jake bashfully put his junk away, getting his pants on. &quot;... Hey. Maybe this is some sort of aspect of the bodies themselves.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Whaddya mean?&quot; Razz inquired.<br /><br />&quot;I mean that perhaps these bodies distort the way we perceive the world so that certain things- like anything having to do with sex- are all &#039;sweetened,&#039; literally and metaphorically.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Gosh, you think so?&quot; asked Jake as he zipped his pants back up.<br /><br />&quot;Sure!&quot; she nodded. &quot;It makes sense if you think about it. If you&#039;re making a living sex doll, you want it to really like sex. I mean, enough that if you could take out every possible bad part, you would. Right?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Hm.&quot; Red thought about it a moment. &quot;Well. It&#039;s not like I&#039;m gonna bat for the other team anytime soon, but if I have to do it to keep my powers...&quot; She pounded a fist into her open hand, the impact of her super-powered punch sending shockwaves through her gelatinous body. &quot;... I can go straight-for-pay.&quot;</span>",
  "pools_count": 1,
  "title": "Razz'n'Daz - Chapter 1",
  "deleted": "f",
  "public": "t",
  "mimetype": "text/rtf",
  "pagecount": "1",
  "rating_id": "2",
  "rating_name": "Adult",
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      "content_tag_id": "4",
      "name": "Sexual Themes",
      "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal",
      "rating_id": "2"
    }
  ],
  "submission_type_id": "12",
  "type_name": "Writing - Document",
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  "comments_count": "26",
  "views": "4528"
}